


Fog on the Windows

by thedevilyouknow106



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Accidental Stimulation, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awkward First Times, Awkward Flirting, BAMF Beth Greene, Blushing Daryl Dixon, Canon-Typical Violence, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Dynamics, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Massage, Matchmaking, Miscommunication, Protective Daryl Dixon, Slow Burn, Violence, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-04 06:18:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 273,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilyouknow106/pseuds/thedevilyouknow106
Summary: He'd tracked her all the way to this creepy hospital with the cops that had a woman with dead eyes as a leader. There was no way Daryl was going to let Beth stand toe to toe with her without him being within arm's reach. Bethyl - Slowburn Rated M for language and eventual adult situations.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A.N. - Hi everyone, this is my first time using the site so bear with me and I'll try not to mess things up on a daily basis. This is my first TWD and my first Bethyl fic, it's also on fanfiction.net. I usually update the story twice a week, and I tend to respond to comments but let me know if that bothers you.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 1**

 

He couldn’t breathe.

_ ‘Least not in a way that’s doin’ a damn bit a’ good.  _

The walls to each side of him pressed in and the light that made the journey down to the floor fought against the Twilight Zone gloom the hallway held, struggling but nearly failing to reach its destination.  

In the same desperate way he did to breathe.  

Daryl’s hands gripped and loosened rhythmically, his heart beating like a crack head against a drug den’s door, skin all tight and uncomfortable as hell. Every muscle in him felt tripwire tight, eyes running over every detail in front of him.

He wanted nothing more than to never see the inside of this building for the rest of his life, no matter how long or short that may end up being. In fact, every single thing in him was screaming to get the hell up outta this freaky ass place, but the damn blonde he came for was keeping his boots firmly placed on the beaten linoleum floor.

_ Beth _

You’d think being tracked down by your family and straight up Hollywood style rescued would have the girl tripping down the hallway in order to get back to them quick as possible. You’d also think that after getting there said girl would have the sense enough to stay put.

You’d be wrong.

Family surrounding and tense ass standoff notwithstanding the girl was getting caught up on some scrawny ass guy that had not too long ago left Daryl for bait…and taken his  _ god _ damn crossbow to add insult to injury.

So he wasn’t  _ real _ happy. Not a bit.

Hell, she’d barely made eye contact with  _ him _ at all. Not that this was exactly the time for hugs and shit. But Daryl knew he’d be lying if he said the fact that she seemed more tore up about this dude than she did happy to see him didn’t bother him something awful. 

He tried his best to drop the feeling, even if he couldn’t for the life of him understand why the man was so important to her. 

Beth seemed attached for some reason or other, and while Daryl was sure there were a whole lot of things that had happened between the two of them that he hadn’t gotten to see, he was just as sure that at the end of the day he  _ really _ didn’t give a shit. 

If it meant the gangly youth or Beth, it was a sure bet which one Daryl would pick.

He’d been sure, sitting in that crossroads sick down to the soul, that he’d never lay eyes or ears on that blonde hair and blue eyes, or hear that soft voice chiding him for whatever dumbass thing he’d done, singing as night set in, firelight playing against skin so pale it held a glow the fire would envy. 

His fingers twitched, the memory of sliding them along her back not moments ago making the agitation claw up his throat till he thought he’d suffocate.

The ringleader cop with the dead eyes said something to the guy, Noah, that Beth was holding onto and Daryl felt his body move forward slightly as the quiet around them held its breath. His back had gone all pins and needles like it did when he was out hunting, the kill was about to take place, that quiet moment between exhale and death.

He sidestepped Rick’s outstretched hand and noticed the cops at the end of the hall uncertainly raising their guns a bit, as if trying to remember if there was anyone in the middle of the two groups they actually  _ cared _ died or not.

Daryl didn’t have that fuckin’ problem and he didn’t like the way Dawn’s hand rested on her holstered weapon, it being unclipped and ready. 

Her and Beth were inches apart and the two women seemed unaware of anyone around them, even as he came within arm’s reach of his quarry. He was in time to hear Beth’s quiet words, her flat tone and rigid frame sent chills skittering down the back of his uncovered arms.

“I get it now.”

There was a quick movement, from his place he couldn’t see what or who, his eyes had been flicked down towards that gun on Dawn’s hip and when the fingers on it began to flex he reacted instinctively. 

Snapping his hand forward, he clutched at anything he could reach before yanking it back.

His palm was full of sun damaged golden hair and scratchy threadbare sweater as his arm reeled it back, Daryl gritted his teeth at the crack of the shot, while still pulling his catch as far away from the sound as leverage allowed. He barely noticed plaster falling in his eyes or Dawn’s startled expression as his free hand made a half clumsy grab for the gun she still had pointed towards the ceiling. 

He didn’t need to take it from her, not with what he had in mind, and using her steady grip he snaked his index finger into place next to hers, shoving the gun as far back into her chest as he could while pressing against her finger and the trigger.

He watched just long enough to see red spring from the crown of Dawn’s head before spinning around, jerking the body he still held, the one that had just barely reached the end of its spin, into his chest, and tucking it into his own frame, dropped into a crouch. 

He curled around Beth until the only thing those bastard cops behind him could see was a crossbow over dirty wings.

Daryl knew there was a bunch of movement going on around him and he could half hear the voice that rang out telling everyone to hold their fire. But his main focus was the bundle of limbs tucked firmly against his chest. 

The head, covered in fluffy strands that spiraled up into his view, was lodged into his throat near choking him to death. She was still skinny as hell and lanky like a Coonhound pup, he’d never been so happy to have a bony elbow crammed into his gut, sharp knees and shins digging at the inside of his thigh.

“Gonna be pissed at ya if yer dead girl.”

His voice was half hoarse from the strain on his neck and the thickness of his accent that near muddled the words passed recognition. 

There was a chance that he hadn’t been quick enough, that he might’ve just been within spitting distance to Beth as she died. That any moment he’d realize it was her dead body he was clutching to him, or that he’d be holding her as the last breath left her. 

Daryl was rattled to the point his lungs had stopped moving and he realized his vision was beginning to spot.

As he got his own breathing under control, and the caterwauling in his head died down he heard a slight sound from somewhere under his chin.

“Oh.”

And just that quick he was back in a kitchen full of candles and good food with the biggest bluest eyes he’d ever seen staring back at him. Everything in him praying he hadn’t said the wrong thing, more like hadn’t said anything at all. And he was waiting for those eyes to stop looking at him with all that wonder and curiosity and turn cold, or worse, frightened when they saw him.

He was brought back by the big shuddering breath that escaped his chest, it came whooshing out his mouth, ruffling the strands of her hair clinging to the whiskers of his face. Her voice had been muffled and he quickly uncurled his spine to give her room enough to breathe let alone say anything.

“Wha’ was that?” He asked, more wanting to hear her speak than what she was going to say.

“Ow.” She repeated, voice pain tinged as she leaned into his retreating form.

“You ok Beth?” 

Daryl looked up as Rick came to squat next to them, one hand going towards where her face must be, all Daryl could see was clean blonde hair. The man’s other hand was still firmly holding his gun but the immediate danger seemed to have passed. 

“I’m ok,” she puffed out, but her hands clamped hard onto Daryl’s forearm, knuckles turning white against his tanned skin as she teetered, hampered in her hold by the blocky cast covering one arm, “jus’ twisted my ankle or somethin’ on the way down.”

Daryl felt a small amount of heat creep up his neck at the same time that the semitrailer decided to move off his chest, he obviously hadn’t meant to hurt her, just wanted to save her, but being himself he’d managed it somehow. He explained away the tightening of his hold as a need to keep her upright, no way in hell did it have anything to do with his heart slamming against his sternum.

She either needed or didn’t mind the added support, still leaning into him, hands still clenching hard, nails digging into the flesh below them. She could be drawing blood, he wouldn’t care, Beth was alive and holding onto him. 

Damaged wasn’t dead.

“S’rry.” He muttered regardless, still feeling like an ass for causing her any kind of hurt, but his voice got swallowed up by Noah’s as the boy came around to get a view of Beth for himself.

“Beth are you crazy? You shouldn’t have done that. Not for me.”

Daryl craned his neck back over his shoulder, twisting his torso a bit, ignoring the complaint that came from his lower back, and took a gander at Dawn, trying to figure out exactly what it was the bat-shit crazy woman in his arms  _ had _ actually done.

Protruding from Dawn’s shoulder were a pair of the smallest most underwhelming scissors he’d ever seen. They were ridiculous and so small, Beth had probably had them hiding in the cast on her arm, and how she’d thought they’d do her a damn bit of good he wasn’t sure.

They were an insult to all respectable scissors ever created.

And the sight of them made his blood go hot like welding dregs, his jaws clench tight, and his next breath shot out his nose making more noise than he’d intended.

Without much thought he turned back around and giving no warning scooped Beth up in his arms, rising through the ache in his back, ignoring the small hiss of pain that came from the weight he carried.

Rick and Noah leapt back and Daryl leveled a look at the younger man that caused him to take a further step away, bumping into the wall.

“Damn righ’ she shouldn’a.” He rasped out in reply, his vocal cords constricting with the anger he felt running wild in his veins.

She made a small sound of disapproval at him as he began walking through the hallway, but she didn’t say anything and neither did he, not trusting what might fly out of his mouth at the moment. He heard Rick behind him, offering any of those willing a safe passage with their group, but Daryl didn’t much care if anyone took him up on it or not.

He’d  _ gotten _ who he’d come for.

Tyreese, Sasha, and Carol fell in behind him but he didn’t look anywhere but forward, getting out of this goddamn freak show couldn’t come fast enough. Quick and measured footsteps he’d heard hundreds of times came up behind him and Rick was passing them to get the door open to the stairway.

Christ he couldn’t wait to get out of here.

As they approached the steps he felt Beth shift, bringing up an arm to throw around his shoulders, trying to even out some of the weight for the trip down the stairs. Daryl jerked his head backwards, blocking her movement. Without looking at the questioning gaze he knew was aimed at him, he started down the steps, grumbling an answer to the stairwell in general.

“Gotcha jus’ fine.”

Truth was, he couldn’t stand the thought of her being any closer to him than she  _ already _ was. And not just her too light body in his arms, but the her that had slinked up under his skin like the tattoo mapping his back.

Or the scars crisscrossing his spine and shoulders.

The marks he hadn’t asked for, half the time hadn’t seen coming, the ones that branded him and made him shy away at their memory, the ones that testified to his weakness and breaking.

Yeah, Beth was a scar.

But she went deeper than anything his  _ sonofabitch _ old man had ever given him. She twined around his muscles, twitching them like strings, she’d found pathways through bone and slithered along organs making them labored and unruly.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, he grumbled to himself as they descended another flight of stairs his arms aching and his back beginning a silent scream of one no longer in its prime, now on top of all that it had been brought to his attention that this damn girl didn’t even  _ wanna _ stay alive. 

That was the only answer he could think of while casting his mind back to those tiny silver handles sticking out harmlessly from Dawn’s shoulder. 

He’d seen Beth. Watched as everything in her life was ripped away right in front of her, he’d ran with her for miles, her slim frame clearing fallen logs and high grass like a deer being hunted. She’d taken out walkers twice her size and while she wasn’t the strongest fighter she wasn’t dumb either.

Those scissors?

It was like watching her open her own veins back at the farm and for the first time Daryl understood the fear and rage that Maggie must have felt. He was terrified for her, his breath hitching a little on the last set of stairs, he was pissed off as fuck at her too. 

What the hell was she thinking? Getting all wrapped around him like that. 

Only to be one more person he’d lose.

One more person he’d bury. 

He’d be tearing off muscle and breaking bone to put her to rest, pulling her piece by piece from tissue and capillaries, never quite getting all of her.

Whole trip down the steps she’d stayed quiet, he could feel her breathing kind of hard against his own labored breaths, but she never said anything and it was too dark in the stairwell to make out much more than the two small porcelain fists clenched tight against her stomach, cast peeking out from one sleeve.

His lungs felt like they were collapsing in his chest when he made it through the door that Rick held open for him, part of that was from his carefully maintained habit the other part was from the emotions he wasn’t willing to track too closely. 

They had reached the base of the stairs. The lobby was the only thing left before they’d hit the outside. He was motioned to stay put as the rest of the party filed out from the stairwell.

“I want you two behind us.” Rick clarified when given a scowl. “We cleared most the walkers on our way in but no need to be takin’ chances now.”

Daryl snorted, shifting the quiet load in his arms slightly, but nodded his acceptance at the good, albeit sparse and late, use of logic from someone in their group. As he took up his position at the back of the party he felt her head rest heavily on his chest, and wondered if she felt his heartbeat, the way it was pounding like a freight train. 

“Daryl.” She said quietly and at the sound of her voice his eyes shut a few moments longer than they needed to before he was humming in response. “Thank you.” She said simply, and his eyes opened as the rest of the group began to exit out the doors in front of him. “For savin’ me.” She continued when he didn’t reply, seeming as always to have a need to fill his silence. “Didn’ think anyone would be able to find me here.” 

And with that she rubbed her cheek against his vest, for all the world looking like she’d found a good place to rest, her next inhale came in deep through her nose and Daryl couldn’t tell if she was breathing him in, or only taking a breath of relief at not being trapped here anymore.

Looking up at him, cheek still in place, she flashed a smile that went nowhere near those baby blues of hers. Daryl glanced down in time, before she dropped her head, to note the emptiness of her gaze, like a prism with no light.

“Guess I should’a known, there’s  _ nothin’ _ you can’t track.”

Her voice, like her eyes, sounded hollow and there was none of the melody in her flat tone that sounded anything like the Beth he’d had with him before. 

He had to swallow a couple of times before being able to grunt a noncommittal acknowledgement.

Then for some reason he felt like he had to add a grumbled, “Ya’d have got yerself out.”

But all he could really think was that he was holding a ghost in his arms as he passed through the doorway into the sun filled day.

Each step into daylight had him locking away anything that felt even a little bit weak,  but the trip down the stairs and a shit ton of adrenaline was making him feel unsteady. He kept getting flashes of blood spraying out of Dawn’s head and he couldn’t stop seeing it as Beth’s.

His throat tightened till his eyes watered and he was about to tell her he was going to have to set her down when he saw they had company. With some crazy turn of events the rest of the group had come, those walking in front of him split to either side without saying anything, knowing that Maggie would be wanting to see her sister.

Daryl couldn’t understand it at first. The way Glenn looked crestfallen, why Maggie was dropping her gun and then falling to the ground with a cry like her heart was tearing to pieces. He stood stock still, and looking down, quickly jostled Beth, feeling the instant her head popped up from his chest, the cold spot she left almost aching despite the heat of the day.

“Maggie?” She breathed, and Daryl was standing her up as careful as he could when he was nearly bowled over by the oldest Greene sister. 

In the entangling limbs he somehow found himself trapped, his whole body stiffening as they crowded around him. Beth was trying to balance on one leg and Maggie seemed out of her head with relief. 

Next thing he knew there were two more bodies being added to the hug. Glenn and Rick –  _ for fuck sakes  _ – came over and added to one of the more uncomfortable moments in his life. He was still firmly placed in the center of the group. 

Both women had an arm slung around his back and he’d tried to stubbornly stay in place, until his elbows and the sides of his arms kept knocking into things they shouldn’t, and he’d had to grudgingly lay an arm on each one of their shoulders.

They were crying and the men of their original group were talking quietly but all Daryl could think on was how badly he wanted out. 

He needed some quiet to roll around all the shit knocking along his skull. His eyes came up and he saw a grinning Michonne staring at him and after a few moments of his narrowed look having no effect he raised a hand to flip her off before sighing and carefully extricating himself from the maze of limbs.

Unfortunately since he was the center of their wheel everyone took it as a cue to break apart and instead of being able to sidle away from all the commotion and touching he found himself pinned by Maggie’s gaze as she talked to Beth, an arm still holding tight around her sister’s back.

“I thought you were-“ Maggie’s mouth made a couple attempts to work before deciding it was easier to skip it and move onto whatever had her giving Daryl that look. “Daryl jus’ looked so upset and you weren’t movin’?”

Daryl felt his eyes immediately skim away from the blues that looked his way and ran the side of his hand along his upper lip to hide the way the corners of his mouth were still pulling down towards his boots.

“It’s my fault.” Beth said evenly, and Daryl couldn’t control how his eyes snapped up to hers, her blue so deep he felt like drowning as she kept going without looking away. “Got a lil’ over-confident up there and Daryl had to keep me from gettin’ shot.”

She talked so matter-of-factly, her voice was still without any kind of inflection, she may as well of been giving directions. He saw from the corner of his eye as Maggie’s arm seemed to spasm, pulling her little sister a bit closer in, heard the way she whispered her name but Beth’s attention was still on him. 

It was the first time they’d properly looked at one another since the funeral home and he felt like he was burning a bit, like the edges of his skin were too close to campfire, and while he’d been able to catch his breath since their trip down the stairs, it by no means felt as steady as it should.

He took in the stitches along her cheek and forehead without actually focusing on them. Hopefully the person responsible for those future scars was already dead, because he doubted Rick would let him go back inside to take care of the  _ sonofabitch _ at this point. 

He also didn’t miss the fact that the glow he’d witnessed daily for over a year had died, and something otherworldly had taken residence. Not so much a glow as an almost unearthly luminescence that set his teeth on edge. 

The eyes meeting his own were happy but hard, and they reminded him too damn much of the set that looked back at him when he was unlucky enough to come across a reflective surface.  

And even though he was almost grateful enough to pray, that she was standing here alive, he couldn’t stop the weight that seemed to eddy about in his chest until laying itself heavy in his gut.

Where’d his light go?

He felt like a selfish ass as soon as the thought swirled into his head. It was his damn fault she was standing here like some kind of phantom. God only knew what she’d been through in that shithole…but Beth was talking again, he shook his head a bit to dislodge the noise in his brain, trying to catch up with what she was saying.

“Had to take out their leader,” she said nodding to him to show who’d done it, “but we’re out now, an’ we’re all safe.” She finished, an uncertain smile pulling at her mouth, but it fell away as she continued to look at him. Something in his face making her features go still.

He shrugged a bit when he could feel all the eyes of the group settle on him.

“Weren’t nothin’.” He mumbled, ignoring the way her brows twitched down a little at his words and tone. “Got the idea I’s doin’ tha’ cops in there a favor, way they jus’ let us walk out like that.” He continued, trying lamely to clarify, her expression didn’t change though, and when he was finally able to drag his eyes away from her he saw similar furrowed brows aimed in his direction.

Well fuck, what’d they expect?

He rolled his tongue around his mouth a bit, his eyes looking everywhere but anyone else’s and moved his shoulders trying to work the itch out.

He’d tracked this girl nearly through both hell and high water.

And now that she was in front of him he was acting like some crotchety ass old man, irritated at having to be here at all. Like he didn’t give a damn that she’d almost died. Like he wouldn’t have been fuckin’ obliterated if she had.

Making his way around the group, he heard as they all began following him to the waiting firetruck, Beth’s pace slow as she made careful hops behind him. Maggie was doing introductions and Daryl was just glad that the attention was off him. Nearing the vehicle he slung the bow over his head, ignoring the too tight way he was gripping the strap.

Pulling himself up into the confines of the firetruck he stooped and walked back till he could arrange him and the crossbow into one of the seats. 

His eyes were fixed out the window figuring everyone else would get settled, not even noticing that there wasn’t nearly the room for them all to fit, he flinched when he felt fingers trail along his forearm.

Beth sat on the seat next to him, her hand charring his skin and her look hooking him in place. 

“Everythin’ ok?” She asked, her voice hushed and she leaned closer to him, so the others couldn’t hear. There was a stillness about her, not peaceful exactly but more of a waiting, that tense spot before the attack that made the sternum hurt and the fibers in each muscle tingle.

And while he didn’t doubt her concern, it was like she was sending it through about five layers of glass. It was there, but with it was a whole bunch of…something. Walls, or she was watching him from a long ways off and wasn’t really right next to him. It was like she wasn’t sitting there and touching him at all. 

They’d been close like this before, back when things were looking not as shitty as he’d originally thought they were going to end up being. She’d held his hand, he hadn’t even tried to pull away, hadn’t felt that tensing like he was getting ready to be hit. And he couldn’t grasp as to why, but that was gone now. Instead of being reassured that she wasn’t an exception to his body’s no touching rule, Daryl felt…he wasn’t sure what, but it wasn’t reassured and it should have been. 

So then he just felt panic. 

There was a conversation going on amongst the group outside about seating and possible solutions and most everybody was still outside the truck except Abraham who had taken the driver’s seat.

He bit at the side of his tongue to keep from snapping at her, or jerking away from the touch that was sending pulses of heat through his rigid frame, each of his muscles twitching like mad till he thought he might wriggle right out of his skin.

What the fuck  _ was _ wrong with him?

He was only able to give her a quick nod, before awkwardly getting to his feet and after mumbling about making room for someone who needed it more, he maneuvered passed her with his bow in hand.

Their number had been steadily growing, and after a few minutes more discussion a couple of cars were found with a decent amount of fuel intact and they split into carloads. A few of them ended up riding on the back of the truck and Daryl made sure he was one of those few. He needed to get his shit straight and sitting cheek to jowl with Beth Greene wasn’t gonna help.

Time was he’d have channeled all this garbage clogging up his head into anger, a knee jerk reaction, and he would’ve aimed it at her and let loose, didn’t matter if it were her fault or not. Better actually if it weren’t, he’d have a higher chance that she’d get pushed further away and he wouldn’t have to deal with it. He needed to sift through everything and try to pin point what the hell was making him so goddamn mad.

He was pissed at himself for telling her to run to the road back at the funeral home, first thing, that was a given. 

Just like minutes ago in the hospital, twisting her ankle, he’d meant at the time to get her out of harm’s way, the thought of her getting bit right in front of him sending a panic through his bones that he hadn’t experienced in a long time…maybe ever. But he’d managed to set her up for being taken instead. 

Part of him knew that right now, her having a sprained ankle was a sight better than a bullet through the brain, but that part of him was small, and mostly he just couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of her being gone. 

_ Permanently _ . 

What kind of universe was cruel enough to have him find her, only to watch her get her fuckin’ brains blown out right in front of him? Daryl had survived some nasty ass shit in his life but even  _ he _ struggled with the chances of that series of events actually happening. It was too fucked up to even comprehend that kind of shit.

When he’d been sitting on that road talking to Rick right after she’d got taken. He’d only been able to say she was  _ gone _ , when chances had been high  _ then _ that she’d been dead, probably before they made her wish that she was.

That thought snagged at him, and he wished he had stayed with her to ask. Sliding passed the fact that he probably wouldn’t have been able to get the words out in order to find out...He looked back at the hospital as it began to disappear behind the surrounding buildings and wondered if this was the last he’d see of it, or if he’d be darkening some fucker’s doorway in the not too distant future, knife in hand.

All this and he still couldn’t drop the feeling of being boiling pissed at her too. None of the shit leading up to it was her fault, that he knew, but he hadn’t spent time showing her how to kill things for no goddamn reason.

His grip tightened on the bar he was holding to keep his footing on the back of the truck, feeling the tendons shift and grind against the bones.

She’d yelled at him at the top of her lungs next to that shack in the woods. All about how she weren’t no dead girl and how she’d made it. 

His mind pulled up sharp without thinking about the rest of what she’d said later that night. Sitting on that filthy porch, moon making that glow of hers go all fairy lights and pearl. 

Daryl shook his head a little and snorted, Merle would have keeled over laughing until he cried if he could hear the shit passing through Daryl’s mind. 

And after all that, all their fighting, and talking, all their arson…training, and piggybacks, and singing, and jokes, and eating by candlelight.

After he’d  _ told  _ her…whatever the fuck that he’d been trying to say.

He just couldn’t quite get over what his gut was telling him. 

That Beth Greene had got to the point, being in that hospital, where she didn’t care anymore if she made it out or not. Long as she caused some pain to those that’d done the same to her along the way. 

The girl that had muttered at him about his lack of faith after seeing her own daddy murdered right in front of her, had risked her own life and maybe the lives of those he knew she loved, just in order to lash out at that dead-eyed bitch. 

And maybe that was her business and he was being a little crazy himself. But for the life of him all Daryl Dixon wanted to do was shake that girl riding in the truck until the one he had with him at the shack broke through and told him to cut his bullshit. He wanted to watch as that pure life of hers did a hell of a job backing her blues in flames that promised him a good scorching if he kept it up. 

Maybe she’d never be like that again, and he’d have to adjust to this new Beth…

But then again, hell.

He fuckin’  _ hated _ change.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take a quick second to thank everyone so much who read, commented, and left kudos. I've never been to the site before and everyone is just so friendly and positive, I really appreciate it.
> 
> Here as I promised is chapter two, I'll get chapter three up sometime tomorrow.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 2**

“Freakin’ redneck.”

She’d been ready for everyone, especially Maggie, to be poking and prodding at her a little, only natural with the way things were these days. Never knew when someone close to you was gonna completely lose it.

Heck it’d happened to almost all of them at one point or another.

_ ‘Specially Rick. _

So she was ready in the days following, with all of them being together again, when everyone was handling her with kid gloves. Trying to suss out just where her head was at. Trying not to upset, or push her.

Well not  _ everyone _ .

“Whad’d you say?” Daryl asked, eyes snapping down to hers, it was a pretty considerable distance down since he’d just finished dropping her straight on her  _ friggin’ _ tailbone…again.

Shaking her head she met his narrowed look evenly and replied with a suitably innocent sounding “Nothin’.” 

She’d barely breathed the insult, she knew he had supersonic hearing but she figured her chances were fair to middlin’ that he hadn’t heard  _ exactly  _ what she’d said.

Though with the way he was looking at her, eyes full squint, lips turning in a little towards his teeth, muscle ticking in his jaw, maybe her chances weren’t as good as she thought.

The truck had quit not long after leaving the city limits and there was no way they were all gonna fit in the two other cars so they all walked, and would have to, until they could find more vehicles or one big enough to house all of them. 

Beth had hopped her way to the door, wondering what the best course of action was for her to take now. Maybe she could ask Maggie and Glenn to help her fashion some crude crutches or something so she wouldn’t slow them down too much.

“Well what do ya think Bethy?” Maggie asked her, offering an arm so she could hop down to the scorched blacktop. Looking around Beth could see they’d made it a fair distance out of the city, a lot further than she’d thought they had.

She’d been talking to Maggie and Glenn, plus some of the new people, or new to her, Abraham and Rosita. She’d also been thinking, eyes to the window, replaying those last few minutes in the hospital.

The trees surrounding them on each side stretched in either direction, cutting off their view to anything else while not offering much of a break from the heat. They were going to be doing a whole heck of a lot of walking, even to find replacement cars. She flinched a little trying to crane her head enough to see if there was an end to the woods. 

Her neck hurt, she wasn’t about to say anything about it though, at least nowhere Daryl could hear. His quick movement had saved her and the resulting consequences were hers to deal with. 

The pain radiated from behind her ears down through her neck and shoulders, stretching into the top part of her spine before easing off. But it was a much more manageable pain than a bullet through her sinus cavity so she wasn’t complaining, nope she was just  _ fine _ .

She could already tell he was blaming himself for her ankle, which she also would have hid given the chance, if it hadn’t been useless and refused to bear any of her weight. He’d sounded so terribly ashamed of himself for hurting her in his muttered apology, which the fact that she’d gotten one at all was a testimony to just how scared he must have been. 

After all, back when he’d told her faith had never done shit for any of them, not for her daddy either and that was right after everything – after she’d seen it. He hadn’t apologized for that, he’d looked at her like he wanted to, or that he knew she’d get it just from that, from a look that said he felt like shit, that he hadn’t meant to but still…Daryl Dixon didn’t  _ apologize _ , just like he was  _ never scared a’ nothin’ _ …

None of that even  _ touched _ what Maggie had said when they’d made it out of the hospital. Daryl looking so upset it’d made Maggie think Beth was dead. She shook her head with a wince, he had to have been terribly upset to allow that much emotion to show where anyone could see. 

Worst part was, Beth knew there was no way she was going to be able to talk to him about any of it. If it was anyone else she could pull them to the side and hash it out, but Daryl didn’t do well with that kind of thing. 

Shading her eyes best she could, Beth couldn’t help but be annoyed at the position she found herself in, one working arm, one working leg, and a half working back. She was about to tell Maggie about her idea for crutches when her legs were swept out from under her and she fell back with a bit of a gasp as an arm banded across her back and lifted her up.

“What the-“ Beth managed, her whole body tensing, before the smell of tobacco, sweat, and male hit her and she immediately felt all her joints and muscles loosening.

“Daryl!” Maggie’s voice sounded more surprised than irritated and Beth looked up at her current transport’s face as her sister hurried a few steps before matching his quick stride.

“You don’t gotta keep packin’ me around like this.” She couldn’t get a good read on his mood, he seemed to still be a little out of sorts, she wasn’t an expert yet but she had picked up on a few of Daryl’s emotional habits. His guard was all the way up and that’s when she knew something was bothering him pretty bad, when his face went that blank.

“Carried ya plenty a’ times before this.” He supplied with a shrug.

“Ya have not-” Beth began, before a voice sounded behind them. 

“Ok so I guess we’re followin’ Grizzly Adams then?” Abraham said loudly. Craning around one flexed bicep Beth could see a mixture of confusion and slight panic from their group as everyone ran around trying to gather up their meager packs and catch up to the hunter that didn’t slow down or look back.

“Ya got a problem makin’ it as far from Atlanta as possible ‘fore night fall?” Daryl hollered back and Beth smacked him on the chest reflexively at the volume that would attract unwanted attention.

He didn’t even glance down.

Or at least she didn’t think he did. It was sure hard to tell with the way his hair was grown out covering half his face, falling over the side where that slight puffiness lay under his eye. 

“ _ Hell no _ my fine traveling companion!” Abraham yelled back, sounding quite joyful as far as Beth could tell. “I appreciate a man with a low tolerance for all things unnecessary!”

“Like rest and common sense?” Maggie hissed back at him, but her irritation was only met with a low chuckle from the red head so she turned her ire back to the issue at hand. “You can’t just be grabbin’ her like that Daryl.”

“Maggie-“ Beth tried, hoping to defuse the situation, she’d almost forgotten what a force of nature her sister could be.

“Ain’t no reason to stand around jabberin’ about it, we gotta move.” Daryl answered over her, his eyes flicking to Maggie and back to the road. 

He sounded totally unfazed with Maggie’s reaction. However, Beth felt the way his hold on her tightened slightly, bringing her in even closer to his chest, like he was worried someone was going to snatch her away from him again.

“She’s been through somethin’ traumatic! You gotta make sure she’s-“ 

Beth wanted to tell Maggie that if anyone knew about trauma it was Daryl, she hadn’t seen his back, even after all this time knowing and living with each other, half of that out in the middle of nowhere, just the two of them. Beth still hadn’t caught sight of it, she didn’t think he actively kept it from her, more like he’d just grown so accustomed to hiding it, to never letting it be viewed without his knowledge.

But Daddy had told her, not everything, just enough to explain why he thought it was that Daryl would want as few people taking care of him as possible after he’d been hurt in that ravine. 

Maggie had her own knowledge though, because of her run in with that bastard that had killed their daddy, she was probably only thinking of how  _ she’d _ felt after that had happened to her. What Maggie must not have been giving much thought to, was that it was Daryl, maybe if it had been anyone besides-  

“This good for ya?” He asked her suddenly, his voice half a growl in his throat, casting his gaze down for her answer and effectively ignoring her sister.

Thing was, the more irritated he’d been getting at Maggie the tighter his hold had become, until his one hand was gripping her thigh just above the knee and the other rough palm was on her upper arm, with almost half her body pressed hard into his chest. Every point connecting them was uncomfortably warm and Beth found herself needing to open her mouth to take in a quick lungful of air.

Hoping it didn’t sound as ragged as it felt.

When he had looked down to get his answer their faces were only inches apart and Beth suddenly felt a tripping quickness to her pulse, and the way everything else around her seemed to dullen. Her body was hyperaware of the length of his fingers wrapping around her leg, the warmth of his body, how it was adding to the sweat that trickled down her neck and along her spine.

But mostly she felt that familiar airless stilling of her lungs as their gazes held, nearly as bad as it had been that last night.

_ “What made ya change your mind?” _

All she could manage was a nod, heat spreading slowly down her cheeks. 

Maggie on the other hand wasn’t quite finished.

“Just how long have ya felt entitled to manhandle my sister Dixon?” Maggie snapped, but Beth could tell there was no real anger behind it, that Mags just couldn’t help but try and get the last word in. Some things never changed. So the comment barely registered with her.

It didn’t help that he still hadn’t looked away, and neither had she.

Maybe it was because his focus was still on Beth that he didn’t register Maggie’s defeated tone, or maybe the words bothered him that much regardless, because his steady gate faltered a little, his grip unclenched, and his head jerked to fix Maggie with a look that made her eyes widen at the heat of his glare.

“Stop.” He bit out, signaling the end of his patience.

In a move that surprised Beth greatly, her sister did exactly that, her mouth slightly open as if about to argue, she’d seemed suddenly unsure. And then, giving him a dipping nod, Maggie turned her gaze to the trees lining up endlessly ahead of them before deciding to take serious consideration of her footwear. 

Beth watched her sister carefully, Maggie wasn’t known for backing down or keeping her temper in check. Her sudden backing off made Beth wonder just how much had changed since they’d been apart, or was it just that it had been Daryl and not Maggie who had kept Beth alive after the prison, who’d come to get her at the hospital… 

Daryl went back to looking at the road. She could hear the awkward small talk of those that had caught up behind them, trying to act like they hadn’t heard the tail end of the uncomfortable exchange.

Glenn came up beside Maggie quietly and Beth saw him reach forward to snag her hand in his without saying a word.

“M’sorry Daryl.” Maggie said softly, Beth felt him puff out a breath, like he was releasing the tension corded around his frame before giving her a slight nod.

“S’fine.” He mumbled back, giving her a little side look and another nod so she knew he meant it. 

There were a few more little casual observations about weather and direction amongst the group before everyone quieted down. Minutes passed and Beth felt her mind scrambling around trying to think of anything they could talk about or that she could say. She wanted to keep the feeling that was dragging back and forth in her ribcage. 

At the hospital she’d learned a silence she hadn’t known before. It’d been a rough lesson, she’d caught some stitches from it, but after a while it had settled into her like a chill. She kept bobbing below the surface into the cold, her feet snagging on a grasping something that wanted to pull her down.

She thought about trying to sing…but didn’t.

Instead she turned her focus to the man whose arms she was in. His breath was becoming less easy and she could feel a slight trembling in his muscles along her back and thighs. 

Repeating the motion she’d done at the hospital, Beth lifted her arm, feeling as the air hit the damp skin through the sweater she’d be better off without for this time of day, and went to put it around Daryl’s shoulders. And again he jerked back like he had before. 

But this time Beth was determined, whether he liked it or not, to help in whatever small way she could. Her neck and back sent her a few stabbing warnings but she ignored them without too much difficulty.

Gripping his vest with her left hand she hauled on it enough to move up his chest and hook her right arm around his neck, her knuckles, cast, and then her elbow scuffing along the crossbow on his back. Sweat dampened hair had caught momentarily between her fingers as they passed, making them twitch where they lay on his shoulder. 

When he realized he couldn’t get away from her reach, Daryl’s head came back forward and that put his ear close enough for her to whisper into, their movement knocking her lips along the shell.

“I’m heavier than I look remember?”

She was trying to get him to relinquish a little bit of control, to make it easier on him, but his whole body had gone rigid and he half tripped on the smooth road. She quickly moved her face away clasping her arms around his neck as he resumed his measured steps.

Maggie and Glenn watched them carefully but neither one of them spoke, and when it looked as though Daryl wasn’t going to fall or drop her they went back to scanning the woods and road.

“Ya alright Daryl?” Rick asked, coming up on their other side where Beth couldn’t see. He reached out and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, Beth saw it in her peripheral vision before it was drawn away. 

She was so happy the two men had somehow found each other after she’d been taken. She knew out of everyone, Rick had been the person Daryl had been most devastated to lose, just like Maggie had been hers. The fact that all of them, including Carol, had been able to reunite with one another was the closest thing to a miracle Beth had seen in a long time.

Gritting his teeth, Daryl nodded and Beth considered him quietly, watching the muscles bunch beneath his jaw.

He was probably exhausted and now he was carrying her for the second time in the same day with a very short break in between. It wasn’t the first time she’d had his arms cradling her like this. But a lot of stuff had happened since then and even at the best of times Daryl had never been one who enjoyed giving up his personal space.

“We’ll keep goin’ for a bit farther and then you can hand her off to me, Glenn or even Tyreese.” Rick said quietly, knowing Daryl didn’t like to show any amount of weakness no matter how far he’d come from the loud explosive guy he’d evolved from.

Beth didn’t mean to, but at the idea of being passed off to Rick or Glenn, her arms tightened around Daryl’s neck. He tried looking at her, but not trusting what he might see, she rested her head against her arm, forehead on the side of his jaw, the stubble there scratching her skin in a pleasant way.

His arms tightened again just for a moment and he leaned his face against hers quickly, sort of like a hug, and she sighed feeling lighter.

“We’ll see.” He answered finally, his words coming through his throat like they’d been rolled over sandpaper a few times. 

The road stretched on before them and it looked like it had no intention of quitting anytime soon. They walked until Beth lost track of time and was in the hospital again with her thoughts. It was Daryl that pulled her back. 

When she could hear the air being drug hard through his throat and she was sure if her aching arms gave out due to the piercing hurt coursing through her neck and shoulders, if she let go she knew his wouldn’t be able to hold her. 

Pulling back she looked at him. 

Asking him without saying anything if they should stop.

He let out a sound that was probably a sigh and a curse, but kept walking not returning her hard stare. Rick was apparently still on high alert though, noticing either Daryl’s uneven breathing or Beth’s focus.

“Alright everyone, let’s stop for a bit, rest a little and we’ll get goin’ again once everyone’s ready.”

There were mutters of agreement from the group but Daryl kept taking stubborn steps forward like he’d just keep going and they could catch up with him when they got a chance.

Releasing one hand from the other, Beth half held her breath as her nerves and muscles along the right side of her neck and shoulders decided to spasm and sear. With her free left hand she carefully reached up and slid his hair out of the way. He’d stopped as soon as she began to shift around and she knew even without looking at him that he was aware he couldn’t keep going.

“Hey.” She said quietly, drawing his eyes to hers, her knuckles resting lightly along his jaw, keeping the hair at bay. “Ya jus’ gonna keep goin’ till we both drop?”

He was breathing steady but hard, his eyes on hers he seemed to be considering her question, then he did a little Daryl mannerism she hadn’t seen in too long. 

He tipped his head to the side slightly, starting with a temple then swaying the rest of his head along with it, shaking it a little from side to side, cheek knocking lightly on her knuckles each time, lips pinched eyes half squinted.

Her heart clenched a bit when he did that. She couldn’t remember the first time she’d noticed it, how he’d shake his head sometimes like he had to talk the rest of him into completing the action. It usually happened when he was being shy, which if anyone paid any attention to was pretty often, or if he wasn’t sure about something. 

It didn’t happen every time, but when it did, she was 100% certain she’d never seen anything as endearing as Daryl Dixon shaking his head.

He finished the motion with his cheek against her curled fingers and for some reason Beth felt her chin tipping up towards him, her eyes dropping to his mouth. And it hit her just how much she’d missed him, and the fact that they were back together with their family and as safe as this world allowed, the feeling was almost overwhelming.

“Bethy you need some help?” Maggie said quietly from behind Daryl, and Beth jumped, completely forgetting about their audience, who was doing a terrible job at pretending they weren’t one.

“Yeah.” She said too loudly, cringing and then flinching at the pain that that had caused.

“S’okay.” Daryl replied voice sounding half choked as he answered Maggie too, clearing his throat and turning he walked passed her sister and to the loosely cobbled group. 

And  _ that _ was the  _ first _ time she got dropped on her tail bone.

Hissing in a quiet pain filled breath she smiled tightly, and unnecessarily, at his retreating back as he muttered a quick, “Goin’ huntin’” over his shoulder and disappeared into the trees a moment later even as Rick called after him.

Several pairs of eyes turned in her direction and Beth could feel the blush prickling along her cheeks as she carefully avoided all of them, becoming very interested in her sprained ankle, working the sleep from her legs and taking a few exploratory pokes at the pain in her neck, hoping to work out some of the tension before they got moving again.

She figured it was as good a time as any, considering the other pain in her neck had disappeared without a backwards glance.

In the days since then they had repeated the process multiple times, occasionally Daryl would allow someone else to carry her, or he’d watch from the back of their procession as she hopped gingerly along while clinging onto Maggie or Glenn for support.

But it never lasted too long, right when she or the person carrying her seemed to get the least bit weary he’d come along, sometimes out of the forest from hunting, sometimes from the front of the group like an alarm had sounded in his head, but he always popped up and without a word would scoop her up from the road or someone else’s arms.

For her part Beth did her best not to complain, or bother him with the fact that he was making her feel like an invalid. She was busy with the crud that was mucking up her mind. She’d hoped by putting more distance between her and the hospital that the cold inside her would start to thaw. But it would hit her in waves, she’d be fully present…almost, and then she’d get swallowed up somehow.

She’d look around at the faces around her, and while she knew them, loved most of them, it was a conscious effort to remind herself of it. She’d be talking to her sister or bouncing Judith, even joking around with Carl, and suddenly she barely recognized them.

And felt nothing.

Sometimes it was awful, like she was losing herself. She wouldn’t notice at first, but then she’d realize she was watching them and evaluating their threat level, or she’d say something and have people look at her sideways, and then she’d have to wrangle around in her head as to why they were looking at her so weird.

It had even happened that first night. 

Daryl had been gone hunting for a while and Rick decided the day had been long enough for everyone and they camped right there by the road. The lane stretched in a basically straight line ahead and behind them, any engines would be heard miles before reaching them and any walkers would have to clear the tree line making them easier to detect and pick off.

They’d built up a small fire off to one side, a few cans of food were passed around, and Beth was in her head running over the events at the hospital for about the hundredth time that hour when a voice broke her concentration.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Looking over she saw Maggie sitting close by, she hadn’t even heard her approach. And not thinking much about it Beth said the first thing that came to mind.

“They’re not really worth that much are they?” Her voice sounded a bit flat in her ears but it didn’t matter.

“Course they are Bethy.” Maggie answered softly, flicking her eyes in her sister’s direction Beth saw the way Maggie was looking at her, all heartfelt concern and worry.

“I was jus’ wonderin’ if y’all wouldn’t be better off…if Daryl hadn’t had such quick reflexes back at the hospital.” Beth shrugged, wincing uncomfortably at the sting that followed the action.

“Don’t say that.” Maggie said, reaching out and grasping her wrist. “Don’t even be thinkin’ that Beth. I mean it.” 

Beth pulled her eyes from the fire down to her sister’s hand then to her face and stared at her until the hand uncertainly unclenched, moving to her face and pushing some of Beth’s unruly locks that had escaped their ponytail prison behind her ear.

“Might’ve made things easier is all.” She continued, feeling the hand freeze in place behind her ear. And even though Beth recognized the look of sadness and fear in her sister’s eyes she just continued looking at her until a new voice cut through the sudden hush around her.

“Ain’t  _ never _ heard you say somethin’ so fuckin’ dumb before.” 

Maggie’s hand finally dropped as both girls turned to look over the fire towards the tree line, where Daryl crouched, mid skin on whatever game he’d managed to hunt down. 

Beth hadn’t known he was so nearby or that he’d even returned at all.

Blue eyes hard as flint flashed back the fire’s light at her and she blinked a few times, her switched off mind trying to work out what that look meant and why she was on the receiving end of it.

“Daryl.” Maggie’s voice sounded accusatory and miles away.

Finally giving up on making sense of Daryl’s seething glower, Beth shrugged again and returned her gaze to the fire in front of her.

Maybe that was it. 

She reflected back now, a couple days passed that first night, watching as the man with the wings on his back and expression of a wrathful deity strode away from her once again into the trees that seemed ever present and ready to accept him. 

While she rubbed at her, no doubt bruised, backside Beth wondered not for the first time if he was going to refuse to carry her when he got back. She’d been expecting each time the group was on the move, which was basically always, if the time he put her down or handed her off was going to be the last.

His abrasiveness since that night had been a near constant.

He’d tried talking to her a couple times since, but Beth felt like she was still teetering between a sensory depriving fog and near consciousness. He’d ask her something, and she’d stare at him trying to figure out the answer he wanted to hear. 

Because she did want to make him happy, wanted to make that crease between his brows disappear, but it seemed like no matter what she said or didn’t say it only made it worse. And she’d watch, distressed from a million miles away, as Daryl Dixon frowned down at her, his eyes searching for something he couldn’t seem to find. 

And she got the feeling that his questions were only making them both feel more lost.

This had made it all the more confusing the way he seemed to always be willing to pack her like a sack of potatoes more often than anyone else, longer than anyone else. But as soon as it was time for the group to take a break or hunker down, he released her like she’d become a live wire and her butt could tell stories about how regular that was happening. 

“So!” Glenn said, over bright as he folded himself down next to her, Beth went to look at him but stopped as the motion sent shooting pains down from her neck and straight through to her lower back. 

“So?” She asked, trying to match his chipper tone and flashing a small smile when he nudged her a little with his arm.

“What happened this time?” Glenn had been particularly, obnoxiously, observant when it came to all the interactions between her and Daryl. 

On top of that her brother-in-law was always looking at her curiously these days, he wouldn’t give her any kind of straight answer when she asked about it, but really she didn’t mind. It was better than the side looks, or carefully cheerful, or overly concerned ones she was getting from the group.

Or the blank or irritated ones from  _ him. _

“Nothin’ happened.” She answered, delicately plying the tense muscles along the swell of her shoulders and curve of her neck. Her hair was a complete wreck, but the idea of lifting her arms that high to deal with it made her want to whimper a bit.

“Yeah?” Glenn replied, rocking back some as he considered the set of trees the bowman had fled between.

“Not a thing.” She sighed out, hearing the defeated sound of her tone as Glenn continued.

“Really? ‘Cause, I may not be much of a hunter-“ He threw her a mock glare when she snorted. “But even  _ I  _ know he’s not gonna catch a frickin’ thing out there with how loud he’s being.”

In fact it sounded like Daryl was thrashing his way through every bit of undergrowth he could find, moments later she heard limbs breaking, everyone tensed up but Rick waved a hand and went ducking into the tree cover, following where the sounds had last been coming from.

Beth eased a look towards Glenn who waited with a folded lip smile, like he was trying to keep it in and failing.

“Ok so…” She started out begrudgingly as he nodded with a little ‘mhmmm’ of victory. “First he asked if I was doin’ ok.”

“Right.”

“Which I am.”

“Riiiight.” He deadpanned and Beth couldn’t help but smack his arm before he could dodge away.

“I am!”

“And that was it?”

“No,” She snipped primly, drawing out the word, refusing to even look at his stupid gloating face. “then he said that he’d noticed I hadn’t been singin’ or hummin’ not even to the baby.”

Glenn’s cheerful rocking came to a slow stop.

“And what’d you tell him?”

Beth managed a half shrug, fingers moving down to dance up and down the scar on her wrist while she answered.

She was going to need to start a new bracelet collection.

“Told him I just thought it was silly is all. Wasn’ really good for nothin’.”

Daryl’s face flashed through her mind, the way his eyes had cut towards her like he thought she was joking or making fun of him somehow. And after reading her face as genuine, had clenched his jaw and slammed his lips into such a harsh line she could see the tendons standing out in his neck.

“Huh.” Was all Glenn could manage and Beth nodded quietly in return.

After that there’d been nothing but silence and his arms had felt like solid metal bars around her, giving no tell that a man was carrying her at all. There was no give, no softness left.

She was about to tell Glenn that everything would work out, or some other hollow throw away phrase to that effect when sounds of quick movement came from the foliage in front of them.

They all tensed before Daryl came out of the shadows, Rick on his heels, looking red faced and out of breath.

In his hands Daryl carried two long and solid looking tree limbs, he’d broken them where they forked and even from this distance Beth knew what they were meant for.

Striding over to the pack that carried a lot of their clothes, Daryl dropped what was in his hands and began tearing through the bag obviously in search for something in particular. Finding it, Beth watched as he whipped out one of the few shirts he had, and with his knife began tearing it into strips.

Finishing with this he began wrapping them around the limbs where they forked, his movements fast and barely controlled. His creations in hand, he turned and stomped over to where she was sitting, Beth barely had time to snap her jaws shut from her slack mouth expression before he was tossing them down at her feet.

She looked at them, blinking slowly for a moment, and then her eyes slid up the length of his body, passed the ripped jeans and the sleeveless shirt half soaked in sweat, until she met the slitted gaze burning holes through her retinas.

“Crutches.” He snapped, and then turning around and skirting a nose pinching Rick, went right back into the forest. 

After a few moments of weighted silence Glenn cleared his throat next to her.

“Oh yeah,” he said, voice sounding a bit dazed, “Nothing happened. Not. A. Thing.”

Beth didn’t answer, too busy glaring down at her new walking aids.

_ Freakin’ redneck… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and any feedback is welcome :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi peeps, thought I'd try to get this site caught up with the other one. Thanks so much for reading and I apologize about any grammatical errors, I am without a beta but I will try my best to proof read each chapter a couple times before posting.

**Chapter 3**

He was getting old, he hated to admit it, even in his head, but it was true. There wasn’t a muscle in him that wasn’t sore as hell and complaining every minute of the day since the hospital. 

Probably didn’t help his mood at all.

He sat crouched in a copse of trees, real close to where the group was camped. He’d just finished making a damn fool of himself…again and had retreated to the woods so he could get a hold of his tripping pulse and unsteady breaths. The woman was infuriating him hourly, and it wasn’t even anything he thought she could really help.

Which just made him the  _ freakin’ redneck  _ asshole that was nonstop pestering her nearly all the goddamn time, unable to stop himself or explain to her what had him doing any of the things he was.

He’d nearly fuckin’ lost it today when she said her singing was  _ silly,  _ he felt a grumble roll through his throat at the memory. He’d normally consider violence towards the person who said something that insulting about Beth’s singing but that clearly wasn’t an option. 

Not to mention  _ he’d _ said as much to her once during that fight. But he reminded himself with a shake of his head, he’d made that up to her at the funeral home.

He could still feel the odd mix of peace and despair he’d felt, watching her slowly hit each key on the piano, her voice sounding like the last one that would ever hold a note in this twisted new world, and Daryl had done his best to memorize every detail, soak up every word that passed through her lips. 

He’d had the craziest feeling over the past couple of days, like he was losing her over and over again. She’d be right there, eyes bright, sweet little curve to her lips as she listened or talked. And then he’d literally be able to watch the light, the animation, the Beth, slowly fade away until he had the desire to run his fingertips along her pulse points. 

If the others noticed they were doing a good job of hiding it, much better than he was. Each time it had happened he’d prod at her, getting more agitated the longer those dead eyes rested on him. 

He was trying to rush her he knew that, he swore to himself every damn day that he wasn’t going to do anything to bother her, that he was going to just wait and see if there was anything he could do for her. He knew he had patience, somewhere, during a hunt he had an unlimited amount, could track and wait and watch for hours, for as long as it took.

But whatever deep well of that particular virtue he happened to have a shit ton of while out hunting – it dried itself right the fuck up when he got within a dozen feet of Beth.

The limits of his body were weighing heavily on him too. He knew it wasn’t any use, exhausting himself every day that passed, but he couldn’t stop. An anxiety like a kicked hornet’s nest was always vibrating along his spine and in the roots of his teeth. It’d only mellow its ass out when he bundled her up and started trudging along with her safe and sound against him.

Flashes of red and gunfire had tightened in his chest that day, until the firetruck had come to a shuddering stop, and he’d found himself propelling himself towards her. Picking her up and trying to calm his overworked nerves with the reassurance that the heat of her body allowed. He’d have run if he could, he felt Atlanta like a belt to his back. Couldn’t get away quick enough.

He’d been half expecting to hear the sound of a Grady car hunting them down, but around them were only insects, the slight clacking of branches and leaves knocking together, and the feel of a very warm and alive Beth in his arms.

That whole experience seemed surreal to him now as he lifted his sight to the darkening sky above him, peeking through the outstretched limbs of the trees. Sighing he settled down on his ass, admitting finally that there wasn’t  _ no _ hunting about to happen here.

He considered his scraped and bleeding hands idly as he remembered when they were on the road, the way she’d stubbornly thrown an arm around his shoulders to take some of the pressure off his tired arms. 

The feeling of her tugging at his vest like that and the sudden overwhelming scent and feel of her had stalled his breath. And then she’d brushed her lips against his ear, whispering all low, warm breath like a shot through him as she reminded him how he’d called her heavy the first time he’d carried her.

_ Christ _

He’d about face-planted them both into the asphalt. The memory was uncomfortable for reasons he wasn’t willing to dwell on at the moment, couldn’t get a handle on if he’d tried.

Daryl slapped uselessly at his pockets, he’d chain-smoked his last three cigarettes that first night after she’d shared that bullshit train of thought with Maggie. How the hell had she gone from wrapping her arms around him, like she couldn’t stand the thought of letting go, to talking that shit that made him wanna stomp the ass of every single bastard in that hospital. 

When Daryl had still been carrying her, when he’d gotten stubborn, she’d pushed the hair off his sweating face and looked at him just like she’d done before, before he’d lost her and everything had got shot to hell. And he’d thought, as she smiled at him calm and waiting, that just  _ fuckin’ maybe _ he’d been bitchy and worried for no reason.

He realized now, worrying the side of a slightly bloodied thumb with his teeth, that he’d been trying to recreate that scenario in the days since then. Hoping she’d pull herself out of whatever hole in her head the hospital had caused. 

But it wasn’t no use, every time after the first, even when he’d tried to get her talking, Beth had just watched him quietly from behind those glass plated eyes of hers. And then the bit about her singing had happened…he’d just snapped.

Wasn’t fair to her.

Something Rick all but came out and told him as he’d been “making crutches” though a lot of those branches had been snapped before he’d decided that’s what he should actually be doing. His friend had watched him stoically for several moments, one hand smoothing down his beard, the other propped on a hip.

“Ya gonna tell me?”

“Ain’t nothin’ to tell.” He’d bit out, cracking another branch over his leg.

“Ya gonna tell  _ her _ ?” Rick continued as Daryl cast his eyes around the woody ground for a match to the crutch he’d already settled on.

“She don’t wanna hear nothin’ I’m thinkin’.” Daryl had replied darkly, squatting to rummage through some piled leaves, finding toughened deadwood underneath.

“Can’t expect her to know what’s settin’ you off like this if you don’t talk to her about it.”

“Tchuh.” Daryl basically spit out, tip of his tongue colliding hard with the backs of his teeth. His eyes flashed to Rick in a glare that was only returned with a mild look of concern. “She knows, girl ain’t thinkin’ straight s’all.” 

“If that’s what you believe then why the hell you gettin’ so ramped up ev’ry time she opens her mouth?” 

Daryl refused to look at him, testing the stability of his work instead, snapping a piece off here and there until they were even and roughly the right height. There was no way in hell Daryl was telling Rick about the steady stream of panic that had been plaguing him since they’d made it clear of that hospital. 

Mostly because he  _ knew _ it wasn’t rational, that he’d  _ probably _ do better to ease up and let Beth work it through, but it just never seemed to be something manageable when he got near her.

It  _ was _ like a hunt in itself, except there was no way he was going to get his quarry with the way he was handling things. Problem was, he’d  _ had _ something to begin with. He’d had some sweet little burning thing that he hadn’t seen or felt in such a long time he thought it’d died out a long time ago. And he’d realized its existence at the funeral home, hadn’t had time to suss out much passed that but it had been enough at the time.

He felt like it was gone now. He was casting about, back around in the dark, only now the absence of the flame made his vision spot and he wasn’t at home any longer in the dusky gloom. It was pressing on him heavy, so he was reacting like any man who was suffocating would. With panic and rage as the light faded. 

“I  _ ain’t _ gettin’  _ ramped up. _ ” He barked out finally, starting back towards camp. “Why the hell you care anyway?”

“’Cause I know y’all got close bein’ together after the prison.” Rick supplied like he was confused as to why he had to remind Daryl of what they both knew. “An’ I saw you were real tore up afterwards, when you told me what happened…Daryl.” 

Rick went to stop him going by but Daryl slid away from him and continued on his way back.

“Hey,” his friend called, irritation obvious in his tone, “she’s gonna need some paddin’ or somethin’ for-“

“I got it.” He growled back over his shoulder, twigs and dead leaves crackling under his heavy footfalls.

The quickly cooling night air wrapped around his muscles now, making him shiver a bit and blink this afternoon out of his eyes. Night had come quickly and he was still not doing a goddamn thing but staring off into some middle distance bullshit, spacing off in a forest probably crawling with walkers while his group huddled next to a perfectly warm fire not twenty yards away.

_ Get your sulkin’ ass up Dixon. _

With a mutter and a curse Daryl did just that, not bothering to dust off the excess dirt and debris that clung to him. With a roll of his shoulders and another added curse as everything popped and crackled all the way down, he made his way silently back to camp. Getting there, he took a moment to survey the situation before making his presence known.

Their group was growing, good amount of strong fighters, Daryl knew almost all of them could hold their own. Wild cards being the flinchy scientist, the coward preacher, and the limping kid from the hospital. 

Daryl narrowed his eyes at the last, shouldn’t really think of him as a kid, wasn’t much older than Beth and she hadn’t been a kid in a long time. Daryl just wasn’t sure of him, was still trying to cast off the blame he’d placed on Noah for being Beth’s catalyst towards near death.

Hell she’d have probably found another way to stir up trouble. She’d hated that woman, it was clear all over that porcelain face of hers.

The subjects of his thoughts sat next to each other near the fire. Noah was talking somewhat animatedly, but quietly, to a Beth that had clearly checked out for the day. Her features a careful and steady blankness that made Daryl absentmindedly bite at the inside of his bottom lip. 

She looked like the victim of some kind of body snatcher, someone or something had control of her limbs, but didn’t know how to manipulate the muscles in her face in order to sell the whole “being Beth” angle.

Rick was squatted down talking lowly to Michonne, Glenn, and Maggie, probably discussing some place to shoot for. Carol was walking around, bouncing a red faced Judith, Lil’ Asskicker looking like she was just  _ hoping _ for an excuse to cry. Eugene and the Pastor, Stokes, were sitting in what Daryl could tell was a silence so awkward it made him shuffle uncomfortably where he stood, leaves rustling anxiously around him. Tara and Carl seemed to be passed out to one side, close enough to the fire to stay warm but not too close to impede foot traffic around the area. 

Sasha and Tyreese were keeping watch to one side, Abraham and Rosita on the other.

Melting out of the trees around him, Daryl stepped into camp, the only one to notice was Carol, on her return lap back towards the fire. She raised her brows at him and he scowled at her in response, thinking she was giving him shit for his actions earlier in the day. Seeming to read this she looked pointedly at his belt then over his shoulder where the crossbow lay, heavy and unused while he’d been brooding.

So instead of catching hell for Beth he was catching hell for being bad at his job.

Like he’d been thinking earlier, the group was growing, that meant more mouths to feed, more of a need for him to be focused and provide for the family. It was his purpose and he’d been severely lacking, not pulling his weight. The very thought of weight made his arms and back ache more and he gave the baby toting woman a sheepish shrug. She had a point, no way around it.

His attention pulled back as it had been without fail, to the blonde next to the fire. Beth gave no indication she could hear a thing Noah was saying to her, her fingers prodded gingerly along her trap muscles making Daryl’s frown deepen.

“Here Daryl, have a baby.” Carol said suddenly, hoisting a solid miniature body full of warmth into his arms, his tired body groaning a little before he could suppress the bone tired weariness.

Looking down at Lil’ Asskicker, Daryl immediately felt his frown soften and then turn into a twitching smile as the baby lit up like a rosy little sun at the sight of him. Glancing up at Carol he paused mid bounce, she didn’t look tired or harassed and was looking back at him wryly as he picked back up on the small bounces that made the baby giggle up at him.

“Why?” He asked, voice rasping low in his throat, getting the idea that her answer wasn’t something he wanted everyone to hear.

“’Cause you’re grumpy, and I’m sick of eating canned food.”

“Jus’ not a lot scamperin’ aroun’ out there.” He muttered self-consciously, grimacing a bit when he heard her scoff at his excuse. “I’ll go out ag’in at sunup, see if I don’ have some better luck.”

See if he could actually focus long enough to catch something more like.  

“You doin’ alright?” She asked, and while her smirk stayed in place the look in her eyes shifted to something serious and he grunted in response, not willing to give much more than that.

“M’fine. What about you? You feelin’ ok?” His tone matched her own level of concern and her smile lengthened before she waived a dismissive hand at him. 

“Pfft please, they  _ barely _ hit me with that car, doesn’t even count as one of my lives.”

“Counts as half a’ one maybe.” He grumbled back, before lifting Lil’ Asskicker higher, pulling up enough of her dirty shirt to expose pale belly and pushing his lips there, blew hard causing little tremors that tickled the baby who wiggled and laughed in response. Her delighted giggles filled the space around them and everyone glanced their way with a smile. The baby’s rolling merriment lasted until she ran out of air, face even redder with happiness. 

Finally sucking in a big breath, Judith ran pudgy hands along his stubbled cheeks, talking quietly and sincerely in baby talk that he nodded solemnly in agreement with, as she patted the longer hair along his jawline.

“Not worried about walkers?” Carol asked, eyes scanning the perimeter as the group went back to their quiet conversations. Daryl shrugged as the baby repeatedly pulled down his bottom lip enough to watch it snap back into place.

“Been out there all day, s’quiet.” Anyway, baby giggles were like nature’s balm on the cracks that were making up most of his moral these days. “Lil’ Asskicker loves mooses, dontcha sweetheart?” Daryl could feel the smile play around the corners of his mouth as he tickled the baby slightly over the area where said moose had been deposited on her small tummy. Judith mumbled something more before tucking her head under his chin, ear close to his steady heartbeat.

“Mooses.” Carol echoed with another smile and roll of her eyes. “Why do you call it that again?” 

Daryl shrugged, immediately feeling uncomfortable at the change of focus.

“I dunno, jus’ what my mom called it.” Carol was good enough to not press any further, simply nodding in his peripheral vision, before a comfortable silence settled. Daryl was always quick to shut down any of the memories of his childhood. Couldn’t let that shit get a foothold. So instead he let his vision get the best of him and it drifted back to the fireside. “You see that girl right there Lil’ Asskicker?”

The baby made a small humming sound of contentment as his rough voice vibrated the chest she was still laying against.

“Ya might not remember now, but she was jus’ like a mamma to ya when you was first born.” He could feel Carol’s eyes on him, but for some reason, probably lack of sleep related, he kept going. His voice was low and steady to the baby, while his eyelids lowered a bit with each gentle swing of his body. “She was real good at it too. Rockin’ ya and singin’ sweet till ya’d fall off t’ sleep each night. Yeah.” He continued, swaying his torso side to side, head bent, lips brushing the downy wisps of hair as he went on. “Ya liked her jus’ fine, an’ she loved ya lots.”

“Daryl?” Carol asked quietly, a hand landing on the back of one of his exposed arms, snapping his tired eyes back into focus.

“’Course,” his voice turned dry as his head came up from resting against the baby’s, “she also drives yer Uncle Daryl up a’ fuckin’ wall.”

“ _ And _ he’s back.” Carol muttered, returning his glare with a mock one of her own.

“Hasn’t he been back?” Michonne asked with an inquiring look, coming to stand on Daryl’s other side, smiling wistfully at the sleeping baby in Daryl’s arms.

“Yes but since he’s empty handed we get to give him a hard time.” Carol explained with a straight face and a shrug.

“Shit.” Daryl breathed derisively at her. “Wha’s your excuse normally?”

“Good clean fun?” Carol replied, smiling easily at him.

“Sounds about right to me.” Michonne added without missing a beat.

“Good lord.” Daryl groused, but the corners of his mouth were threatening to tick up into a smile again at the lighthearted bantering from the two women. “How’d this happen?” He asked, making a show of glaring at their smirking faces.

“Sheer dumb luck.” Michonne supplied with a quick jerking half shrug, smiling so big it made her dark eyes nearly close, light flickering off the slivers that were left to catch his reaction. He gave a sideways glare that did nothing to make her smile falter. “So what’re we up to?”

“Jus’ gettin’ Lil’ Asskicker t’sleep.” Daryl answered.

“Staring at Beth.” Carol chimed in, earning her a real glare that seemed to be equally as ineffective as his joking one these days. 

Michonne, however, didn’t seem the least bit shocked and Daryl wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d been watching him looking at Beth until she couldn’t help but come and check out what the hell he was doing. 

Not to mention she and Rick seemed to be chatting a lot these days so she’d probably already heard an account of the conversation they’d had this afternoon. He couldn’t blame Rick really, if Daryl was Rick’s right hand, than that made Michonne his left. Shit, with the way Daryl was acting he wouldn’t be surprised if she’d been doing work as both.

“You should go talk to her.” Michonne recommended before crossing her arms and fixing him with a stare that made him want to fidget. Daryl felt his eyes narrow before they flashed over to Rick, who wasn’t looking at them but nodding to something Glenn was saying.

Daryl shook his head a couple times, eyes sliding back over to where Beth sat, eyes still blank, fire her only focus, Noah sitting next to her silently. Daryl wondered briefly how long it’d taken the guy to realize she hadn’t been hearing what he said. Daryl ended up just shaking his head again supplying a grumbled – “Nah.”

Carol gave an impatient sigh. “She’s hurt.”

“She’ll be fine.” He actually wasn’t sure if Carol was referring to either Beth’s ankle or her feelings, but he was pretty confident his answer covered both.

“She’s obviously got something going on with her neck and shoulders, probably more.” Michonne informed him with a pointed look, and his gaze flew to the long finely boned fingers that were still making hesitant movements where neck met shoulder. 

“She’s been doing that since Atlanta.” Carol said quietly, meeting his eyes knowingly, and Daryl heard the creak in his jaw as his teeth clenched too hard. 

He was fuckin’ useless. He’d been looking at her but not seeing a goddamn thing. 

Too stuck in his own head and his shitty feelings of loss, letting his anger cloud everything that made him worth a damn. He was going to need to bury this shit, it could go right next to those goddamn childhood memories. 

His silence didn’t impress the two women and before he knew it Michonne was gently taking Judith from his arms, while Carol called out to Beth, who turned lifeless eyes towards them.

“How’s the neck?” Carol asked, face full of concern, taking a step in Beth’s direction. 

Daryl watched as those blue eyes seemed to come back alive, melting snow unveiling the running river below it, and they jerked to him before widening. Even in the meager light that the small campfire provided, he saw red stain her cheeks before she turned an uncertain smile to Carol.

“Oh it’s fine.” She lied, better than she used to, but Daryl could tell the question had really caught her off guard so her hands fluttered around a little before clenching and pressing themselves against her hips to either side.

“Ah really?” Carol asked, smile still in place brows furrowed inquisitively, Daryl could hear the calculation in her tone and knew that Beth was walking herself into something. He just stood still, feeling like he’d somehow lost control of his ability to either speak or move.

“Yep.” Beth answered quickly, and Daryl sighed, not having to wait long for Carol’s response.

“Raise your arms above your head.” She instructed, head tilting to the side and waiting, cheerful smile still in place, making Daryl wonder just which one of these two he should be most concerned about at the moment.

Beth opened her mouth to reply, perhaps to decline or ask why, but then finally registering the look on Carol’s face, her lips closed quick and she gave a glare that was too tired to hold much power.

“Ok so, it’s  _ gonna  _ be fine.” She amended, eyes skipping to him, obviously trying to gauge his reaction but unlike her he’d been lying a real long time now, and his poker face was set in stone.

“Of course it is.” Michonne answered, gently patting the baby’s back, giving Beth a folded lip smile as Carol continued.

“But to help it along, Daryl’s going to take a look at it, work some knots out for you.”

Even though he’d known this is where the conversation had been headed since the injury had been brought up, he still couldn’t help but drop his gaze to the fire instead of meeting Beth’s searching look.

“Oh he doesn’ have to, I’m-“

“Nonsense.” Carol steamrolled over her excuses, walking passed her and patting her shoulder lightly. “You’ll thank me, man’s a miracle worker with those hands of his.”

Michonne flashed one more knowing smile before heading back to Rick and the others, leaving a whole trash heap of awkward in her wake. Catching a bit of cheek in his teeth, Daryl finally looked at Beth. She was watching him somewhat timidly, like she expected him to start berating her in front of god and everybody about having a stiff neck.

Finding his voice, he jerked his chin towards her. “How bad is it?”

She swallowed pretty hard and shrugged, wincing as soon as she did and sure enough he had his answer. Nodding to himself, Daryl made his way around the fire, while bringing the strap of his crossbow up and over his head. Stopping just short of Noah, who had watched everything so far without saying a word, Daryl glared down at him.

“Git.” He growled, motioning his head to the side and snapping his fingers. 

Technically… _ technically… _ Daryl could have easily gone to Beth’s other side, or taken up position behind her. But the way he figured it, Noah had been in close proximity for just about as long as Daryl could stand. Plus, he reasoned as the big brown eyes widened and the other man struggled to his feet, if Daryl was going to try talking to Beth there didn’t need to be an audience. 

“Daryl.” Beth’s voice was chastising but when his eyes met hers she stilled and didn’t continue.

“Uh, it’s ok Beth.” Noah gave her an out while backpedaling away from them. “I was gonna get to sleep anyway, just um, think about what I said ok?”

She nodded, but didn’t glance his way as he retreated to the far side of Tara’s sleeping form. Going to place his bow on the ground, Daryl finally broke his sight away from Beth, before settling down on his knees facing her. 

Her side to him, Beth tried turning her head towards him but froze almost as soon as she began and he could see how tensed up she was from either the motion or his sudden proximity. No denying they’d been closer than this many times but that was before he’d acted like a damn lunatic and basically thrown homemade crutches at her.

Speaking of which, he noted looking around, the things were nowhere in sight. He cast an eye over to the fire, but couldn’t pick them out if they were part of the blaze. Beth seemed to be working on regulating her breathing and Daryl gave her a few more moments by readjusting the placing of his bow as if he didn’t like it too close to the fire.

“Ya really don’ have t’ do this Daryl.” She informed him quietly, her accent thickening with nerves.

“Ain’t nothin’ worth gettin’ cagey over.” He answered just as quietly, taking a look at her neck and shoulders best he could in the dim light. Now that he was paying attention, he noticed the way the tendons looked almost swollen, standing out against her throat more noticeably than they usually did.

Lifting a hand he placed a careful thumb against her neck, pressing down with the lightest of pressures before dragging his calloused pad from just behind her ear to the juncture of her shoulder. He paused, as she drew in a shuddering breath, her fists clenching in her lap, eyes closing tight, Daryl watched her carefully before murmuring so low he wasn’t sure she’d be able to hear.

“Ain’t gonna hurt ya Beth.” Daryl cursed himself for being an ignorant asshole. He’d gotten pissed today, and while his anger had been much more contained than it was in prior years, no doubt his actions had stirred up some shit that reminded her of Grady. 

Lord only knew what they did to her there. She’d seemed ok with all their physical interactions before, but now she was probably having a hard time telling him apart from those sonsofbitches in her head.

She shook her head slightly, taking another deep breath. He started to take his hand away, feeling like the dick he was, when her left hand came flying up to latch onto his retreating wrist.

“ _It_ _just_ …” She faltered a little, taking another deep breath and Daryl waited quietly. “Hmm hurts.” She finally finished and Daryl still didn’t move, his brow furrowed, listening to the crack and pop of the fire. 

“Jus’ try to breathe through it best ya can.” He advised slowly, she still held his wrist in her small hand like she didn’t want him to stop. “An’ try not t’ tense up if ya can help it.”

She nodded, letting go of him, her hand dropped back to her lap with a whimper and Daryl noticed she chose to keep her eyes closed. Well whatever she had to do to keep from squirming was fine with him so he nodded to no one, and placing a careful hand in back and in front of her neck, started lightly pressing the pads of his thumbs along the same track. He did this repeatedly until he felt her settle beneath his careful prodding.

When it seemed like she had coped well enough with his initial movements on her aching muscles, Daryl focused on the juncture itself, pressing the inside of his thumb’s knuckle along the smooth skin and paused again.

First off, she’d made a sound that was uncomfortable, at least for him, deep in her throat and grinding until it tumbled passed her lips into the darkness around them. It was an understandable reaction, but one he hadn’t expected this early into the process. 

His tongue flicked out over dry lips as he considered the intensity those sounds were going to reach once he really started trying to get at the knots that were no doubt littering her small frame. All the while he was trying to ignore the coolness of her sternum under the warmth of his palm, and the tickling of his knuckles by her messy ponytail.

Second, the firmer pressure had shown him that his hands were fuckin’ filthy. He had drug a dark smear of dirt and maybe even dried blood along her pristine skin. He suddenly felt embarrassed, which was stupid, they were out in the middle of nowhere, he was always about this level of dirty and Beth was always more clean than he was even if they hadn’t bathed in the same amount of days.

It was like the dirt refused to stick to her. Unless like in this case it was ground against her unsuspecting flesh as he’d just managed to do. Daryl tried to shake the ridiculous feeling out of his head, but the idea of being the old dirty ass redneck pawing at something that was too beautiful for this world let alone someone like him…it had wheedled right into his gut.

“Somethin’ wrong?” Beth’s voice was soft, and when he looked at her face he discovered she’d opened her eyes and was watching him with a weird expression. Lifting his hands he offered them for inspection, and she shifted, looking at them and back to his face. 

He felt some of the awkward leave him when her brows furrowed and she carefully shook her head, clearly confused with his actions, not understanding what he was trying to say at all.

“M’gettin’ dirt all over ya.” For emphasis he motioned to the spot on her neck, watching as she ran a questing hand over the marked area.

“Daryl, we’ve been walkin’ for hours, and sleepin’ on the ground, for like days now.” She was smiling and he relaxed a little further. “We’re all covered in road dust and dirt an’ every other kinda thing, little more isn’t gonna hurt me.” His face must not have looked any more convinced than he felt so she continued, smile getting bigger. “I’m  _ just  _ as gross as you are right now.”

He snorted at that and her smile seemed to blaze through the rest of the doubt in his churning stomach.

“Don’ think you could be gross if ya tried Greene.” 

His words seemed to please her for some reason, and playing it up some, her eyelids fluttered a bit as she shrugged. The happy look stopped, as again she tensed, the movement obviously still painful for her, and Daryl waved a hand as he talked.

“Turn ‘round, see if I can’ work that out some.” She happily complied and Daryl settled back to a seated position, knowing now that this wasn’t going to be nearly as fast as he’d hoped for at first. Beth scooted back till the base of her spine bumped into his loosely crossed shins. Reaching forward he grasped lightly around her trap muscles and began pressing light slow circles on each side of her neck with his thumbs.

He really tried not to let that fuzzy bit of hope in his sternum get out of control, just because her eyes looked clear and she was talking fine didn’t mean it was going to last. 

Beth took a few circuits to get used to the new pain, but Daryl knew the line between pain and relief wouldn’t take long to cross. He was steady and patient, not increasing the force of his hold until she was leaning back into it. 

Daryl slid his thumbs lower on the column of her neck, barely touching as she hissed at a particularly sensitive spot. Her breaths were careful and measured as he continued and it took longer for her to settle. When she did, he moved farther down and couldn’t help the hesitation in his movements when she made the same low noise as before.

She felt even smaller in his hands than he thought she would. Her tense flesh and strained tissue barely covering her shifting bones and Daryl knew he wouldn’t be showing his face to this group tomorrow until he’d tracked down a decent amount of game for them. 

His hands kept moving as Beth’s shoulders slowly slackened down, her head beginning to loll back. Taking that as his cue, Daryl ran the heels of his hands down the tiny swells lining her spine, mind still plotting out a course to take on his hunt tomorrow.

The sound that tore from the small girl under his hands was startling, at least to him, half a moan with equal parts cry and contented sigh that had him glancing around from under the cover of his hair. Several people had looked over and Daryl made sure his hands went back to moving easy circles along the back of her shoulders. Feeling the need to prove his hands weren’t anywhere they shouldn’t be. 

His cheeks and the back of his neck felt overwarm, and swallowing was a sudden nightmare. Beth’s body was unclenching with each tight cluster of muscles and nerves he worked and she began making happy little humming sounds that vibrated against Daryl’s already heated palms.

He tried his best to ignore them, along with the quick and hot feeling of pride that shot through him like a bolt. He got the sense that Beth was about to end up in his lap with how much she was leaning back into his touch, and he savagely beat back the impulse to move his legs to either side of her hips. 

He needed a serious distraction.

He’d wanted to talk to her about today, about the last couple of days, and what had him acting like a crashing tweaker. But he suddenly didn’t _really_ _wanna_ turn her thoughts of him into bad ones when she seemed so happy with him now. Her lungs were taking in steady gulps of air but they seemed a little quicker paced than necessary, and they tugged at him with every inhale.

Daryl placed his splayed hands on each of Beth’s shoulder blades, stretching his thumbs low as he could, working them up in quick little swirls till they rested along his index fingers, then pressing into the larger muscles of her back with the heels of his hands, he made great looping passes before rolling the pressure into the lengths of his fingers, making it back up to the tops of her shoulders.

“Daryl.” Her voice surprised him, little more than a whisper, like it had escaped her chest without permission. He leaned a little forward, head cocked to the side to pick up whatever else she was going to say, hearing only the air coursing in and out of her lungs. When nothing else could be heard he found the need for distraction growing, his breathing was starting to mirror hers a little too closely.

“What was Noah wantin’ ya t’think about?” His voice was doing that hard gravel and rusty tin roof thing that signaled he’d smoked too much his whole damn life. 

“Hmmm?” Her hummed reply was unsteady, he tried not to congratulate himself, his ministrations had done a good job of capturing her complete attention. 

Beth shook her head a little like she was confused, and lying easily to himself about how he was just doing as he’d been told, Daryl drug the heels of his hands down the sides of her spine again. She made an equally inappropriate sound as the first time, and he skipped his fingers back to the base of her neck and rubbed light circles there.

“He needin’ ya t’ do somethin’? Talk us into doin’ somethin’?” He shifted around some, his body feeling increasingly uncomfortable, tired muscles beginning to complain nonstop, not to mention the campfire was putting out far too much heat for its size.

“Oh.” She said finally, like the answer had had to bubble its way up from some murky depths of her memory. “He’s wantin’ us to head to his family’s place. Says it was a walled community or somethin’ an’ he thinks it’d be safe from walkers.” 

His hands slowed at this new info and he began absentmindedly running his fingertips along her back and shoulders. Some of the heat dying down as he considered the idea.

“When’s the las’ time he was there?” He asked her, rubbing circles at random across her languid form, he could tell the line of questions was giving her something to focus on besides his touch and he was both grateful and disappointed. 

If she’d been in pain for days…Daryl knew better than anybody how much cramping and knotted muscles in your back could wear you down. He’d never gotten a back rub, only reason his hands held any kind of the magic Carol had talked about was his knowledge of the way things worked inside a body. Any body was held together in the same way, just different sizes and shapes far as he could tell.

But the noises that’d come out of her had run along that same track of uncomfortable that her whispered voice and lips on his ear did. And him enjoying any of it? Well hell, that just made it ten times worse. 

He told himself it was just the clusterfuck state his head had been in since Atlanta. Had him looking to flirt with the idea of something as dangerous as Beth Greene making more of those noises for him. He’d wanted her to quit looking at him from behind all that blue stained glass, to make her stop being quiet as a winter death, and to get her head out of those low-lit Grady hallways.

_ Nothin’ more to it than that.  _

Daryl just needed to find a decent stopping point between flying off the damn handle at her and selling his soul to get hers back. 

“Uhm.” Beth sounded half asleep now, and he realized he’d been moving one hand along her back mindlessly, the other one dangling off his knee as he waited for her response. “I think since right after the start maybe? I…” She trailed off a bit and he stopped his hand, waiting. “I can’t remember.” She finally finished through a yawn.

“Ya wantin’ t’do this for him?” He already knew the answer though, their own group, their family, had been separated several times and they always fought tooth and nail to get back together. 

“If we can.” She murmured, head dipping with fatigue.

“Hmm, I’ll talk to the others, see what they think.” After a beat he began running his hand back and forth along her shoulder blades, lips twitching when she gave a blissful sigh. “Whad’d ya do with your crutches?” 

Her even breathing hitched and she stilled for a couple of his sweeping movements before giving a careful shrug that didn’t seem to pain her much. 

He didn’t think she was going to answer before he heard a mumbled “Gave ‘em to Maggie.”

“Yeah?” He asked, but stopped his slow roving hand and felt her squirm back and forth a little in agitation. “Where’d she put ‘em?”

Realizing what he was doing Daryl’s hand fell away as Beth straightened up and carefully scooted around to look at him with a bit of a glare that made him unusually happy.

“Actually.” And her tone matched her scowl, Daryl felt a corner of his mouth pull up in the closest thing to a smile he’d had since holding Lil’ Asskicker. “I threw ‘em back at your grumpy ass.” The other side of his mouth curved up at the sound of her cussing and he could tell she was trying hard to keep looking so disgruntled at him.

“Ya missed pretty bad then, my ass feels jus’ fine.” At this he was interested to see her look guilty and she leaned in to whisper, breath dancing along his lips and the scruff on his chin.

“I may’ve hit Rick instead.” Her guilty expression switched to a smile as he felt a puff of air escape his lungs, almost like a laugh but quiet.

“Seriously?”

“Well! Ya made me so mad an’ they were the closest thing to me, poor Rick he didn’ even see them comin’ since you’d irritated him ‘bout as bad as ya did me an’ he was still pinchin’ the bridge of his nose like he does. Got him in the shins.”

“S’fine, he looks alrigh’ t’ me.”

“Well after that Maggie, sorta  _ took _ ‘em, sayin’ I’d get ‘em back after I’d cooled down a bit.”

“Lucky for me an’ my ass.” He drawled, with a nod of acknowledgment that made her roll her eyes at him and reply in the driest tone he’d heard from her since Grady.

“Yeah, yeah, you an’ your  _ fine _ ass.”

They both seemed to freeze, she’d probably been aiming for deadpan in that dry tone, but it came out sounding husky and it tripped up his heart something ridiculous. Daryl felt his skin burn from the nape of his neck to the tips of his ears, for her part Beth was trying to outdo him, her cheeks a dark pink in the flickering light of the fire. They held each other’s gaze for several stuttering beats of Daryl’s heart before they both looked away and Beth started to stammer.

“I meant – you said that your…that it felt  _ fine _ ‘cause I missed an’ so I was tryin’ to refer back t’that an’ obviously did not do it too well, what with losin’ my mind and sayin’ what I jus’ did, an’ for the love of everythin’ holy Daryl stop me.”

He was glad that he wasn’t inclined like she was to rambling because if so they’d both be doing it right now and he felt like that’d be worse somehow. Instead he cleared his throat and met her eyes, she was looking rattled and her blush was still making her a rosy glow in front of him.

“S’ok Beth.” He was glad his voice sounded so steady, it seemed to help her out and she stopped looking like she was about to have some kind of fit. 

Awkwardness aside Daryl knew he’d suffer through a million more such comments if it kept the life in her eyes and the easy banter going between them. They’d hit a point, before she was taken, where things had moved so smoothly with them and being close like this. Not used to having too many people in his life like that, he’d been surprised at the added ache that came with her being gone. 

It wasn’t only that he’d failed her, that he’d lost the last piece of his family. He missed talking easy the times he actually felt like talking, missed little touches and carrying her around. He’d just  _ missed _ Beth. She watched him for a minute more, wide eyes searching his and he did his best to look the least amount of unnerved that he could.

“I’m gonna go to sleep now.” She announced finally, and he nodded gratefully, clearing his throat as he stood to hide the groan that tore through him. 

Everything hurt. He was in need of some rest too if he was going to wake up at sunrise to hunt. Making a quick scan of the group he saw more people had lain down to sleep while he and Beth had been…talking.

Catching Rick’s eye, who was one of the people currently keeping an eye out, he gave him an inquiring head jerk.

_ Need me to take watch? _

Rick’s brows pinched together slightly before he shook his head, waving a hand Daryl’s way.

_ Nah, brother I got it just fine, get some sleep. _

Daryl’s brow furrowed, looking towards the pack that held their small arrangement of blankets, before they were back to Rick.

_ Ya sure? _

Rick grinned at him then, eyes flashing over to where Beth was laying, Daryl frowned down at her, she’d grabbed nothing to cover her or to stick under that tangle-maned head of hers. He brought his eyes back to Rick who still had a ghost of a smile on his heavily whiskered face eyebrows jerking towards his hairline.

_ Y’all good now? _

Daryl glared back, but knew it had very little effect on its target, before shrugging and looking away.

_ I dunno, maybe. _

Reaching into the bedding pack, Daryl pulled out a couple thin blankets, before achingly removing his winged vest and stepping back over to Beth. He tapped her on the shoulder with the vest and she looked back confused, before whispering quietly.

“Won’t you need it?”

“Nah.” He lied casually, holding her gaze until she took the offered pillow and put it into place. He started draping the blanket over her until the back of her shirt caught his eye and he hummed a slightly annoyed growl.

“What is it?” She asked, trying to crane a bit to look, but one session, no matter how good his hands were, wasn’t enough to get her back to full mobility and she stopped trying, looking to him instead for an answer.

“Yer shirt’s dirty as hell now.” He moved the blanket over her, settling it around her shoulders as he continued to grumble at himself. He watched her roll her eyes and his own narrowed at her challengingly. 

“My back feels so much better I can’t begin t’care about my shirt. I’d still be happy if it was  _ so _ bad I had to strip and burn it.”

Daryl looked at her sharply, the image of her doing just that exploding into his mind’s eye, and again in less than an hour the two were blushing, Daryl thanking god he had deeply tanned skin that didn’t show it off like Beth’s pale complexion did.

“Ugh.” Her muffled voice came from below the blanket she’d thrown over her head in embarrassment. 

Slowly, Daryl lowered himself down a foot or two behind her, making sure there was plenty of space there, pulling his own blanket over his legs.  

“Ain’t rubbin’ yer back anymore Greene.” He watched her blanket jostle around until she was apparently facing him, her wild hair and stricken expression popping out of the folds. He had a hard time concealing the curving of his mouth and knew he’d failed when she glared at him. “Makes ya crazy, ain’t safe t’be around after.”

He closed his eyes, peeking one open at her response.

“Guess you’ll have t’be my chaperone again if that’s the case,  _ Mr. Dixon _ .” Her eyes were light and teasing and Daryl couldn’t help the shake of his head or the mutter that left his mouth.

“Good lord.”      


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd another one

**Chapter 4**

Groaning…shuffled steps.

Right in front of her.

Beth’s eyes flew open, panic immediately cinching through her limbs as her eyes tried to adjust to the predawn light. Another growl but now she only sighed,  _ that _ growl was rather familiar and nonthreatening. She watched as the darkened outline of Daryl reached its hands into the air, and she listened to the crackling sound that had her furrowing her brows slightly.

Was he hurting or was that age and poor sleeping conditions? She made a note to ask him sometime when they were settled, he’d probably just grumble and snap at her like a grumpy junkyard dog, but she was stubborn too and if he was in pain the least she could do after last night was return the favor.

Beth continued watching from her cocoon of warmth, head still nestled against angel’s wings, her nose nicely filled with smells of the man in front of her who was doing quick impatient stretches in the grey light. His shoulders rolling and arms circling a bit to chase away the stiffness, before lacing his fingers and flexing them out, a series of snapping cracks sounding from his popped knuckles. 

He looked around a bit, and she knew he was checking to see if the people on watch were awake and doing their jobs. Another searching sweep around to double check that there wasn’t anything the lookouts hadn’t seen even though they  _ were _ awake. Beth couldn’t stop the little smile as she watched him, he could be quiet or taciturn, heck, even rude as all get out, but she’d throat punch the first person that tried to say Daryl Dixon was anything less than a good man.

Or, she thought wryly, she’d  _ try _ to throat punch said stupid person.

He made a silent step towards her and their eyes met, she could barely make out his expression in the poor light. He nodded to her when he realized she was already awake and then just stood there seeming uncertain. She looked at him in confusion before figuring out what his dilemma was. He was probably going out to hunt and he’d given her his vest to lie on. Quickly she pulled it from underneath her and offered it to him silently, trying her best not to smile when he looked even more uncertain than before.

_ Yeah, throat punches to all the stupid people. _

Slowly it was lifted from her grasp and a smile shot his way as the vest was slipped back across broad shoulders. They exchanged a nod before Daryl collected his crossbow and headed soundlessly into the woods. Beth laid her head back down, sighing a little with the uncomfortableness of the new position. Closing her eyes she willed herself to go back to sleep.

Her mind drifted back to last night and with a happier sigh she wondered if Daryl could be talked into a repeat performance. Maybe if she promised not to say anything this time. Her cheeks heated slightly, remembering, and she shook her head a bit. She’d been exhausted and giddy from the delicious lack of stabbing pain. 

Carol hadn’t been lying when she said Daryl could do some magic with his hands, Beth could still feel some soreness and knew it would be unavoidable for several more days, just like her ankle, but it was definitely better than what it had been.

On top of that small blessing, they’d managed a decently lighthearted conversation, she’d thought at one point he’d almost laughed even. And she was so happy about that, because along with not being plagued by stabbing pains throughout most of her body, Beth had felt fully  _ awake  _ for the first time since the hospital. It made her realize now, tucked into a thin blanket on the hard ground, that she missed feeling that way…feeling light. 

Her mouth scrunched up for a moment as she made a decision to try and keep a better eye on herself for that sinking detached sensation. Sometimes she had no control on it, and it’d pull her down before she even knew what was happening. 

But, she had to admit to herself, sometimes like last night she didn’t fight it when she did know. It was calm and quiet during these little episodes and she’d found it easier to sift through information when they happened. She could keep emotion out of it, which was definitely not something she was used to.

But it also made it hard to care, or connect, with the people around her and that just wasn’t ok with Beth. And she’d be damned if people like Dawn and Gorman were going to make her into someone she didn’t want to be. 

Strong was good. But she wasn’t willing to lose herself either.

_ Everythin’ in moderation Bethy _

Her daddy’s voice in her head made her breathe easier, she’d work on it, that’s all there was to it. Everyone had a job to do, and right now this was hers. 

She fought down a yawn and snuggled deeper into the fraying blanket’s meager warmth. She’d get started on that job just as soon as the sun was actually up and  _ after _ she caught at least a few minutes more of blissful sleep. She heard a slight movement, but it was human and she stubbornly kept her eyes shut tight.

“How’s she feeling?” Carol’s voice asked quietly and Beth tried not to flinch, she didn’t want to eavesdrop but she really did want just a few more minutes and maybe Carol and whoever she was talking to would move their conversation away from her.

“I haven’ asked yet, went to sleep before he was finished with her.” Maggie’s voice was equally as soft in her answer to Carol, and Beth tried to squash the niggling embarrassment that happened at her sister’s choice of words. 

It was probably strange for everyone, besides Carol, to see Daryl touching anyone in any kind of way, and Beth didn’t want people thinking he had any ulterior motives. They hadn’t got to see how sweet Daryl could be when he didn’t have to worry about people harassing or expecting things from him he wasn’t ready or willing to give. But again, she reminded herself, there was nothing underlying in her sister’s tone, Beth was obviously being oversensitive for some reason.

She just couldn’t help but feel protective of him was all. They might snipe back and forth at each other, and she might call him a freakin’ redneck under her breath, but only  _ she _ was allowed to do that. Just like he was allowed to call her out for what she’d said to Maggie that first night, somewhere along the way she’d started feeling closer to Daryl than the rest of her family, blood or otherwise.

_ Who could’ve seen that coming? _

“Well it sounded like it went well.” There  _ was _ a little something in Carol’s tone and Beth had to fight from furrowing her brow. 

What did Carol mean,  _ sounded _ , because they’d been talking after? That had gotten into awkward territory for sure but there hadn’t been anything in it to cause that knowing humor Beth had heard. Maybe Carol was the one with the ulterior motives. The woman might’ve been trying to get the two to stop clashing like they were. Though honestly that was mostly Daryl, Beth grumbled internally to herself, just because she had thrown those stupid crutches and  _ accidentally  _ hit Rick…

“It was real good of you to get him to do that. I asked her a couple times about it, but she’d just act like she couldn’ hear me.” 

This time Beth’s eyebrows did pull together. It hadn’t been an act she had absolutely no memory of her sister saying anything about her neck or back. Not even once, let alone multiple times. 

“I didn’t really  _ do _ anything.” Carol denied keeping up the quiet volume the two were using. “He’d have gotten around to it once he got out of his own head and started paying attention. I just sped things along a little.” Her voice was moving around Beth towards the mostly extinguished fire at her back, the resulting sounds telling her that Carol was getting it ready to be used for breakfast. 

Whatever that might be.

Beth felt a mixture of being both amused and irritated, she knew Carol meant well but it kind of felt like she was treating them like children. Ones that needed an adult to make them get along. She and Daryl had been alone after the prison for a good chunk of time, they’d made things work. Her cheeks started to prickle as she remembered flipping him off and then after that the two of them screaming at each other in the middle of nowhere after a little moonshine. 

Well, maybe Carol wasn’t  _ completely _ off base.

She jumped when a hand landed lightly on her covered arm, eyes flying open to see Maggie leaning over her. Green eyes sparkling with the light slipping through the trees, her sister grinned at her slightly and Beth smiled sleepily in return. 

Maybe she should be mad at Maggie for not looking for her, something the guilty looks she’d received multiple times told her was true, or for not being in that hallway with Rick and Daryl. 

After losing her dad though, and all the others, Beth couldn’t really muster up the energy to be angry with her sister. All she felt was blessed that they had somehow found one another again, it was like  _ someone _ was looking out for her. A pair of dirty wings flashed through her mind before Maggie started talking, pulling Beth back.

“I need to use the facilities, was hopin’ I could get you to tag along.” 

Feeling a nudge Beth saw Maggie was poking her lightly with her new crutches, which she immediately scowled at. Telling herself that making crutches had been her initial plan before that grumpy growling (wonderful talented) jerk had decided to bridal carry her butt everywhere, did Beth absolutely no good. He’d made them when he was angry at her and the negative connotations seemed to be embedded in the wood. 

Making their way through the trees a safe distance, the two took turns watching out for one another before beginning to make the trek back to camp. Beth’s shoulders were already starting to complain about the pressure on her bunched muscles as she hobbled her way over the unsteady ground, her casted arm making it hard to grip the wood’s smooth surface. She really hoped the road would offer easier going, because the way it was now she highly doubted she could make it far before curling into a ball and crying.

On a positive note, she thought as she doggedly clasped hard with her half casted hand, the arm itself didn’t hurt at all which meant she was going to cut this sucker off as soon as they got back to camp.

Maggie’s hand on her elbow stalled her movements and she was happy for the break, stopping and leaning against the nearest tree Beth looked at her sister questioningly. 

“I lied.” Maggie confessed, her eyes unrepentant, a smirk playing around her mouth, causing Beth to grin back at her. “It’s kinda hard to talk without the whole group hearin’ everythin’.”

That was true enough, lord knew everyone had heard pretty much every clipped word between her and Daryl, and there was always someone within earshot.

“What is it Mags?” Beth could tell her sister was twitching with wanting to talk or ask her about something, it was a little comical to watch her older sister cross her arms and fix Beth with the best Hershel look she could manage, smile still ticking the corners of her lips.

“Is there somethin’ goin’ on with you and Daryl?”

Her next inhale of breath caught hard halfway in, and Beth choked and coughed in surprise. Good- _ ness  _ one back rub and all of a sudden she was getting questioned like she’d been caught kissing Daryl out behind the old barn. 

Her cheeks flushed hard at the question, and at the idea of doing anything like that with him. Like Daryl would ever  _ consider _ doing that at all. Like  _ she _ even knew what to do with a man. 

Especially one like him.

“ _ What? _ ” Was all she could manage to squeak out through her constricting throat muscles, her hand clenching against her jumping sternum. Uncertainty flashed through Maggie’s laughing eyes and she dropped her crossed arms, taking a step in towards Beth. 

“Bethy you can tell me if the two of you started somethin’ after the prison, y’all bein’ together every day, alone like that.”

She’d died somehow, that was the only thing she could think of, or maybe she was still asleep back by the fire. Not only was her sister asking if Daryl  _ freakin’ _ Dixon had what, turned around one day in the middle of the Georgia woods and decided  _ yeah, the teenager with no survival skills, why not?  _ Or the two of them, thinking they were the only ones left, and without better options, had felt like it’d be a good idea to – to sleep together? 

And if that wasn’t enough, her sister seemed…fine with it?

Beth actually shut her eyes for a moment, willing herself to wake from this uncomfortable nightmare but of course it wasn’t, and she opened her eyes to see Maggie watching her closely. The humor was leaving her gaze as the seconds ticked by. Beth’s mind was spinning and she felt the panic of it start a series of doors shutting in her head. 

“Because we’d have to be desperate and alone?” 

Her voice had a weird lack of inflection and Beth took a deep breath, blinking back the haze that was trying to swamp her. Maggie was already shaking her head, hand reaching out to clasp around the wrist that was still resting against Beth’s sternum, pulling it down so Maggie could wrap both hands around her one. 

“No, I didn’ mean it that way, things can…develop is all.” Maggie’s eyes were searching hers and Beth took another measured breath. “Things can change.”

“Daryl’d never do anythin’ like that.” And Beth didn’t know if she meant the man would never want to do anything that wasn’t strictly platonic with her, or if she meant he’d never change period, maybe both.

“Daryl wouldn’t.” Maggie seemed to be trying her best to work out the world’s hardest math problem, brows quirked, mouth set, eyes flicking back and forth to each of Beth’s. “But…you would?”

She couldn’t pull away from the green eyes that locked her in place, and she shook her head slowly, knowing it wasn’t so much a denial but more – uncertainty. Maggie must have read this in her expression because she continued to wait, eyebrows steadily rising with expectancy. 

Had things happened between her and Daryl, no, not the way Maggie had first implied. He’d never done anything at all to make her uncomfortable, besides being a complete pain in her backside from time to time. Would she be uncomfortable? If he had tried something? 

Everything had been so crazy when they were together. They’d barely gotten to a point where she felt like she was getting a peek at the Daryl he kept hidden. It just had been buried under dirt and brash bravado that would crumble away when pressed.

If he had – what if he had? Had he? 

Her brows furrowed as she remembered the kitchen, the candlelight that could barely make headway into the dense shadows that masked his face. Hair half shrouding the parts that the darkness hadn’t captured yet. 

That look he’d had – God knew she couldn’t remember ever seeing a man so terrified and so sure all at the same time. He’d been telling her she was the reason for him changing his mind, about good people, about things working out in a way that wasn’t always ugly and bloody.

_ And that look… _

Beth could still feel the air want to die in her lungs with the memory of it. Her whole body had heated up, heartstrings to fingertips. Maybe she’d imagined it, but it had felt like the room suddenly turned into the farm right before a big thunderstorm, pressure in her chest and goosebumps trailing down the nape of her neck. 

It had all hit so fast, she hadn’t been able to even process everything her body was doing while the man across from her had just continued to pin her with a look like he was flashing his soul through those steel blue eyes.

With the last bit of oxygen left in her she’d tried to answer that look, knowing, even though she couldn’t sift through everything else, that not answering wasn’t an option. It hadn’t been enough, and she’d known it when the  _ oh _ left her lips, but she’d wanted to say so much more, ask  _ so much _ more. But how was she to reply to something like what she’d seen in his gaze? How were any words supposed to match that look?

Still, that hadn’t been him saying he wanted her like – like that. It had felt, more than that somehow, different, but then how was she to know? No one had ever looked at her like Daryl had that night. And moments later it was interrupted and she’d been taken and it had all gone so wrong for the man that had just expressed hope and then had it snatched away.

No wonder he was so agitated with her being back, acting the way she was, feeling the way she was. 

_ Lord, I must be one big walking wound for him. _

She felt her hand pull from Maggie’s, her mind reeling steadily as she tucked the crutches back into place and made an uncertain step around her sister. She didn’t even know how to begin to fix this with him. Did something need fixing? She thought so, last night had been better, much better, so maybe they just needed some time to work through all the traumatic stuff that’d happened. 

Maybe then they could get back to that place they were in at the funeral home, and she could figure out if there was something else there. 

“Beth?” She stalled her slow movements to look over at her sister, coming slowly back to the woods, her brain making a struggling effort to leave the kitchen with the candlelight.

“What made you think somethin’ had happened?” She was finally able to ask, realizing only now that some interaction between her and Daryl must have inspired this line of questioning. She’d thought it was the backrub, given the conversation she’d heard this morning, but she didn’t feel very sure of anything at the moment. 

Maggie gave her a look like she was messing with her. Beth just shook her head, eyes widening in irritation, even if it was the way Daryl had helped her last night, there must have been something Maggie had seen that Beth hadn’t.

“Well you were uh…” And all of a sudden her sister seemed not as keen to talk about this subject, now that she knew Beth had no idea there’d been something to notice. “You sounded  _ very _ happy with that backrub.” She finished a little weakly.

Beth was going to end up with some serious wrinkles with the way she was constantly frowning like this. There it was again, it  _ sounded  _ like what? Carol had said something similar. Beth just continued to look at Maggie like she was being particularly annoying, her older sister tried again no less hesitant than before. 

“You were makin’ noises, really happy noises, like the ones I make when Glenn and I are…ya know?”

Beth’s cheeks immediately attempted to self-combust. 

“ _ Margaret-Rhee-I-was-not-doin’-any-such-thing! _ ” 

Her sentence came out as all one word and Maggie began once again to grin slightly. Beth could only imagine the look on her face, she could feel waves of heat being expelled from her cheeks. Her eyes hurt with how wide she was opening them, the pressure making them feel like they were about to free fall. 

“Sorry to be the one to tell you little sister but, yeah, ya were.” Beth took a tottering step back to the tree she’d been leaning on, just so she’d be able to place chilled hands against her burning face.

“He heard?” She asked, knowing before Maggie gave her the  _ duh  _ look, that if Maggie and apparently Carol and goodness knows who else had heard it, than Daryl with his animalistic hearing had definitely heard from his spot directly behind her. 

She’d known she had made  _ some _ sounds, her body had felt like it was slowly being unwound, like she’d been to the snapping point of being coiled too tightly and finally all that tension had been massaged out of her. But in her head they’d been, well quiet, under her breath. Merciful lord what state was she in that she’d been,  _ moaning _ or something, where not only Daryl but everyone else could hear her too.

And what the hell was wrong with him for not telling her?!

“C’mon Bethy.” Maggie gripped one of her shoulders in solidarity, pulling lightly. “We better be gettin’ back.”

Beth gave her a disbelieving look for several moments before nodding and hopping along, ahead of her still grinning sister. 

When they made it back to camp, there were slow signs of life, as people began rising and moving about in preparation of heading out. Daryl still wasn’t back but they all knew if they stayed on the road, or really just didn’t hop in a random car, the man would track them down.

After carefully cutting away her cast, Beth waited next to the low burning fire for everyone to finish passing around some dubious looking cans of food. The contents in question had at some point been a green vegetable but were now unidentifiable. 

She avoided eye contact with anyone as best as she could. 

Part of her wanted the hunter to get back as soon as possible so she could gauge his reaction to her embarrassing vocalizations. Another part hoped his game was on the elusive side today, because her skin still felt warm to the touch and would no doubt become only more so when she saw him.

She spent the time between mouthfuls of…peas? Green beans? Wracking her brain regarding last night’s events, and try as she might Beth could not remember any awkwardness from him, she’d made a fool of herself with her clumsy remarks but he hadn’t seemed totally mortified. Which is how she’d guess he would be if the sounds she’d made were really as,  _ enthusiastic _ , as Maggie had claimed. She’d gone to bed considering them on a bit of an upswing actually. 

Maybe Maggie was just blowing things out of proportion. Beth risked a look at the people around her and after being met with several good natured smirks and a wink (Carol) she dipped her head back down quickly.

Then again, maybe her sister had been completely accurate.  

The trip down the road was as bad as she’d feared. Her barely recovering muscles began complaining and cinching around her tired frame with each swinging step forward that she took. 

Around noon they broke off the road a little ways to take a rest, and Beth barely had taken a step from the baking blacktop before she landed hard on her butt. Her crutches fell to either side of her and she took steady breaths to keep the cry from making its way up her throat. 

She refused to ask anyone to carry her. They were all of them tired and worn down, she wasn’t going to be the weakest link, not again. She watched as people stretched and worked out cramping muscles, or took measured sips of water. Noah came to settle down next to her and Beth managed a slight smile for him, relieved when he didn’t start in again about making their way to his house.

Daryl had said he’d talk to Rick and the others about it, until then they were moving roughly in the right direction as far as Beth could remember. Speaking of which, she started sweeping her eyes along the forest line, she hoped it wouldn’t be much longer for Daryl to get back. During their time in the prison he’d be gone for days at a time but she doubted he’d risk doing that here. 

A tickling breeze licked at the sweat along her neck and Beth jerked her sight in the direction it had come from. Back the way they’d come, she saw slight movement to one side, a hulking figure making labored precarious steps through the underbrush. Beth made her way slowly to her feet, carefully balancing on one leg. Something in her said this was him, even though she couldn’t make him out, he was still too far off and oddly hunched.

Someone came to stand next to her, and she wasn’t surprised to see it was Rick, always on alert to everyone around him. He followed her eye line, his stare narrowing as Daryl came slowly into view, a buck draped across his shoulders.

“I’ll be damned.” Rick breathed out, and they exchanged matching smiles. “Tyreese!” He then called, motioning for the bigger man to follow him. The two went and made their way through the trees to relieve Daryl of his load. 

There was a small clamoring once everyone realized what was going on. People were clapping the tired man on the back, offering him bottles of water, Maggie and Sasha quickly started gathering wood for a fire. Abraham and Eugene went in search of suitable branches they could use to cook pieces of the deer on, and Rosita and Carol took up watch knowing that the gutting and butchering of the animal would no doubt bring walkers with the smell of blood.

She’d known Daryl being on his own in the woods was probably even safer than him being with the group, there wasn’t a thing that could sneak up on that man when he was on his own in the forest. 

Noah helped her back down to a seated position when she started to sway, but her eyes never left Daryl as he motioned to where he wanted the deer laid out. He looked dirty, tired, and pretty damn striking as far as Beth was concerned. The noon sun beat down, matting his dark hair to his skull, and she realized it had grown out until it hit the tops of his shoulders. The longer hair fit him though she thought, moving along the planes of his face the way it did.

The smears of dirt and unknown residue covering him only worked to highlight the tone in each weary bicep, and her eyes followed the sweeping strokes of grime down his forearms to his bloodied hands. Each finger was long, powerfully structured, and covered in calluses that felt to the touch – as Beth knew – amazing when pressed to someone’s softer skin. 

She didn’t have to wonder much as to where this latest appreciation of his body came from. Maggie’s words had caused her to reevaluate just about everything, including thoughts she’d found too embarrassing to dwell on before now. 

Beth knew she’d thought for a long time that he was good looking, in a way that crept up on you, made you want to study each feature leisurely. 

Not something easily done since the man had a sixth sense, and could feel when someone was looking at him as hard as she was right now. And so Beth wasn’t surprised in the least when, by the time she got done tracing up the lines of his body back to his face, two narrowed blue eyes were staring back at her. 

He said something to the men around him and then started making his way over. Beth did her best to get a control on her thumping pulse and already blushing cheeks. She was not off to a very good start already, and he hadn’t even got within arm’s reach yet. Without a word, Noah stood up and went to help with the steadily growing fire. She noticed the way Daryl watched the other man go, not looking at all apologetic about the rapid escape. Reaching her, he quickly dropped into a crouch to match their eyelevel.

He didn’t say anything at first and Beth tried her best not to fidget under his hard stare, she wasn’t able to read anything in his expression, but she stayed still while he searched her open one. Deciding finally that he approved of whatever he saw in her face, he nodded down to the hands she held clasped in her lap.

“Hell happened to your cast?” He probably hadn’t spoken too much today, so his voice caught and drug its way out when he spoke, she swallowed stubbornly passed the clawing feeling in her own throat. 

_ Damn Maggie for making me feel so awkward around him!  _

It was much easier to blame her sister of course than take responsibility for any feelings that had been lying under the surface for lord only knew how long.

“My arm felt better.” She smiled as she answered, hoping all the while he’d chalk up the color in her face to the heat and long trek up the road. “And anyway, it’s hard to use my new nifty crutches bein’ all bound up like I was.”

She kept her grin firmly in place as he studied her before grunting acceptance of her answer.

“Didn’ think a’ that.” He muttered with a frown, eyes releasing hers to consider the crutches framing her legs. Still looking down, she heard as he asked quietly. “Ya feelin’ alrigh’?” 

She knew still, that he wasn’t purposefully making his voice sound that husky, but she couldn’t stop it from causing the tremor that ran down her back. She needed to get a hold of herself, this was Daryl, and sure there were now a whole new range of emotions tied to that statement but she couldn’t afford to let those feelings overrun even the most basic of interactions with him. 

His blue eyes moved up when she didn’t answer and Beth was able to see how stormy they looked today, not that piercing blue that shot through her sometimes, but no less enthralling. She did her best to pull herself out of those rabbit holes, watching as they flicked to the tongue she used to wet her dry lips. 

“Yeah much better after –“ She stumbled with the memories of last night and her conversation with Maggie, his gaze wasn’t helping much either. “After your help. And I don’t think I even remembered to thank you last night!” 

Her voice sounded a little higher than usual as she chided her poor manners but he didn’t seem to notice, there was no more narrowness than usual in his look. Peripherally she saw his hands clench and release a little, but overall he was acting remarkably normal, much calmer than she’d expected. She’d imagined him coming back skittish and decidedly nonverbal. 

Again she wondered just how bad those sounds could have been if Daryl was still acting this ordinary. If she hadn’t received all those goofy looks this morning, his total lack of standoffish behavior would make her think Maggie’s descriptions of events were just overly dramatic.

“Didn’ do mucha anythin’.” He denied with a shake of his head, breaking away from holding her with his stare again, allowing her a full breath of air. She watched him as closely as he had her, he’d stopped looking her in the eye but his mask of neutrality hadn’t slammed into place either. 

She knew she shouldn’t but even after everything, Beth was hoping pretty hard that he’d offer to repeat the process tonight, whenever they were able to make camp. But after the seconds had ticked by with nothing but the murmurs of the group reaching her ears, he still hadn’t said anything and she felt her grin dissipate. 

_ Gettin’ too greedy.     _

She scolded herself silently, getting control of her voice so she could tell him again. “Thank you Daryl.” She dropped her head a bit so her eyes could meet his lowered ones. “I mean it. For everythin’.”

And she knew with the way the color darkened in his eyes and face when he caught her gaze again, that he knew she meant for more than just what he’d done last night. They stayed that way for at least a minute or so, it must have been, because she’d stopped breathing and her lungs were getting rather irritable when he finally threw a look over his shoulder. Everything was ready for him to start cleaning his kill and people were trying to wait patiently for him to finish his conversation but it was clear that everyone was pretty hungry.

“I found a place back ‘n the woods might work for us.” His words were a little quicker now when he turned back to her, obviously feeling the pressure from all those famished eyes.

“You wantin’ to stop for the day already?” Her voice sounded more hopeful than it should have she knew, but she hadn’t been on the move this long for a while. She was happy with any excuse for a break without it having to be her idea.

“Bunch a’ cars there.” He explained with a nod, rising at last from his crouched position, grunting quietly as he did so. “One of ‘em’s a good sized SUV might get us to Noah’s place if Rick ‘an some of the others are up for it. The rest can stay at the house ‘til we get back.” 

Beth didn’t know what she found more impressive, that he was acting like typical Daryl after the way she’d reacted to his ministrations, that he’d bagged a buck in half a day, or that he had done all this and found shelter  _ and _ a way for them to help Noah – who he didn’t even seem to like.

If it weren’t so blasphemous – Beth might be inclined to think of Daryl Dixon as godlike.

“You’re amazin’.” She couldn’t help the amount of genuine awe that made its way into her blurted observation. He flashed a quick look at her, checking to see if she was giving him a hard time or not, but Beth knew her face only held appreciation.

He took a rocking step back, the corners of his mouth lifting so very slightly, barely an expression for anyone else but Beth knew it was a smile for him. One so small he probably didn’t even realize she could see it. 

“Yer jus’ hopin’ t’ talk me into another back rub.” She smiled at his tone, trying to sound grumpy and put out, but it came nowhere near his eyes so she shrugged and nodded quickly, earning an amused snort as he took another step away. “We get to the house, git everythin’ settled, I’ll take another look at yer back.” 

Her smile widened even more and she watched as he shook his head at her, corners pulling up imperceptibly again, and then he was making his way back to the waiting deer. Beth watched him as he went through all the motions he’d done countless times, and felt her heart heave a bit in her ribcage, breath hitching, and lip catching between her teeth as she kept her eyes on him.

Maggie’s words came floating back to her.

_ “Daryl wouldn’t. But…you would?” _

God save her – she just might. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this makes us all caught up, and I will do my best to update this story twice a week barring any unforeseen events. Hope you guys like all the chapters and you'll probably see a new one Monday at the latest. 
> 
> Oh and also, I am new to the tagging thing (thanks T.o.A for the recommendations!) if anyone sees something in there they think is worth a tag and it isn't one already, feel free to leave it in the comments because I more than likely just didn't think of it. ^.^

**Chapter 5**

 

Daryl's hands moved without thought, the fur and flesh of the buck parted with each easy slide of his knife. There was still happy chatter around him and he worked to keep his face impassive even though he felt a weary kind of elation in successfully filling his role once again. 

Didn't hurt that he'd just been called  _ amazin' _ by the blonde bit of starlight who was still steadily watching him from her place by the road, he could stand to hear that  _ maybe _ a few more times.

He felt like he'd lied to her a little, the deer had led him straight to the house, wasn't like he'd scouted out the location himself. But his pleased feeling still held and he wasn't real interested in making it go anywhere.

The first part of his day had been spent arguing back and forth in his head about what had gone on last night. He'd concluded finally, after seeing the telltale markings of his prey, that he wasn't going to let it fuck with him too much. She'd been in pain, he'd helped, that was it.

Sure, she'd made noises that any breathing man would suffocate a bit over, but it had clearly been involuntary. He wasn't going to rub it in her damn face by letting it show how much it had freaked him the hell out. 

Even if recalling it last night  _ had _ kept him awake, eyes staring straight up and not at the warm body a handful of feet away from him. His skin too hot for the time of night, exhausted limbs and ligaments close to trembling with a restless energy he wasn’t used to feeling while lying under the free expanse of the endless Georgia sky. He’d waited for sleep to come while rubbing calloused thumbs over the toughened skin of his hands, feeling them prickling like he'd fisted them around a thistle patch.

At the memory, his nerve endings started popping off little bursts and tingles over his blood soaked palms and he couldn't stop the glance that flicked towards her. His hands slowed momentarily when she wasn't where he'd last seen, but he quickly tracked her blonde mane to the growing campfire.

She'd peeled out of her grey sweater again, and his hands stilled for just a breath as the nearly intact shapes of his hand prints came into focus on her faded yellow shirt. Daryl quickly averted his gaze, looking to quickly finish his task. 

Paying too much attention to Beth Greene was messing with his carefully manufactured storyline, and if he gave in and focused on that gut deep warmth that was threatening to migrate to the rest of his body, Daryl knew self-loathing and tension would be right behind it.

An easy hand clapped him on the back and he was grateful for the distraction as he turned his head to see who it was. Rick pulled back, relief clearly showing in his face as he took in the now ready to cook meat.

"Ya saved us again man." Daryl shrugged off the compliment, continuing his methodic movements as he began carving off thick chunks of meat handing it off to people as he did so.

"Jus' doin' my job." He supplied as he handed Maggie two large pieces for her and Beth, earning himself a toothy smile in return.

"Still..." Rick trailed off and Daryl glanced at him again, tossing the next bit of meat towards Abraham's obnoxious ass, trusting the man to catch it. He saw how Rick's eyes were firmly on his kids, Carl holding his sister as he talked to Glenn next to the fire.

Daryl dug his tongue along the crevice a back molar provided and decided that now would be an alright time to bring up Noah's, and by association Beth's, request to head over to Noah's old place. Turning back to the deer, he kept cutting, arms feeling like they were ready to dislocate with every slicing move.

"Been meanin' t' talk to you about somethin'." He didn't have to look at the man to know that Rick's full attention was firmly directed between his shoulder blades. "Guy we picked up at Grady, he's wantin' t' head home. Says where his family's livin's got a gate or a' wall or somethin'."

There was quiet for a few moments and now he was lining up strips for people to start cooking for second helpings. He hoped they were as hungry as they seemed, he'd hate for too much of this meat to go to waste.

"You wantin' us to all head there?" Rick sounded uncertain but thoughtful and Daryl was sure his friend was probably running dirt smeared fingers through that major overgrowth covering most of his face.

"Nah." He replied shaking his head, rising slowly with a bit of a grunt and a frown. "Figured a group of us could go, check things out a bit, see if there's anythin' to what he's sayin'."

"Do ya not trust him?" Rick's voice lowered and took on that slightly dangerous tone that made Daryl uncomfortable. He shook his head again, pulling the raggedy bit of cloth out of his back pocket, wiping at the tacky blood that clung on stubbornly to his hands.

"Don' trust anyone 'cept those we had with us at the prison." He added after a pause, eyes flicking to Rick who nodded his acceptance at the judgement. 

That's just the way things were now, took more than a little road time and only a couple near death experiences in order to really bond you with someone.

"But you  _ are _ still wantin’ to do this?" Rick asked, finally handing him a mostly full bottle of water, motioning at his lack of progress with his hands.

"Found a house back in the woods, nicer place, whoever owned it liked cars, s'few there plus a' SUV. If I can get it runnin' maybe a couple a’ the cars too, we could go take a quick look while the others stayed put."

He was making much better progress on his hands now with a little added water, and was able to meet Rick's steady gaze as he continued working blood out of the creases between his fingers. 

After a few more moments silence Rick began to nod and Daryl bobbed his head in reply.

“Where’s it at?” Rick asked, and Daryl realized he hadn’t even asked Beth, he’d just assumed it’d be somewhere in the area. Shrugging he shook his head, watching doubt flash in Rick’s eyes as a frown tugged down the corners of his mouth.

“’Less it’s Maine or Florida, some crazy far place like that, does it matter?” He asked finally, they didn’t have much of a plan at this point as far as he knew. “Got any place we’re needin’ t’ be?”

“Alright so we find out where this place is, if it’s a long ways off your plan ain’t gonna hold up.” Rick leaned towards him as he continued. “I’m not leaving my kids or our family more than half a day’s travel, so if it ends up being farther than that we better hope you can get  _ all _ those cars runnin’.”

Daryl nodded his agreement, he should have asked Beth where Noah was from straight off, just another sign that his head was off kilter, not like he  _ needed _ a sign after the campfire backrub last night. 

“If it’s far off we’ll find another place tha’s closer along the way if it comes to that, get ‘em secured and then a’ chunk of us’ll go, the rest can stay back and wait for us.” 

"Who're you wantin' to take when that happens?" And both men's eyes made their way over to the large collection of individuals who were collectively staring at the slow cooking meat. Daryl took in each of them and figured their sizes and fighting skill, pulling one side of his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Me, you, Noah, Abraham, Rosita, Glenn, and Beth." He listed off as he saw them, good collection of fighters, but it left plenty of capable family to keep an eye on Lil' Asskicker and the other newcomers.

"Beth?" They looked back at one another when the question came up. "I'd think Michonne or Tyreese would be a better choice considerin' the state of Beth's ankle."

Daryl felt an abnormal amount of anxiety at the idea of leaving her at the house or with the others if they ended up legging it to somewhere farther off. For Christ's sake he'd lost her when she'd gone not twenty yards from him, how the hell was he supposed to focus with her that far away?

"Michonne can come too, Tyreese ‘as been off since the prison, rather have ‘im lookin’ out for Lil’ Asskicker than risk ‘im not takin’ someone out when it’s needed." He replied with another jerking shrug, not being able to hold Rick's searching look when he hadn’t answered the other part of the question, he dropped his eyes down to inspect his ruddy colored hands. "S’important t' Beth, two a' them are pretty close after bein' in that shithole t'gether."

"Just how big is this SUV?" Daryl didn't quite like the way Rick was smiling when he glanced up at the wry note he heard in his friend’s voice, but he answered easily enough, his face carefully blank.

"You an' me up front, Noah, Michonne, Rosita on Abraham's lap on the back seats an' Glenn an' Beth are both scrawny enough to sit by the back doors the thing has got." He finished, motioning vaguely at the two skinny individuals who were looking more excited the closer the meat was to getting done.

Rick was quiet for a few seconds longer before Daryl saw the nod in his peripheral, he gave an answering nod yet again as he stuck the rag into his back pants pocket. He and Rick kept their places for the next several minutes as Daryl explained the general coordinates of the house and his thoughts on their ability to create or reinforce its defenses. 

The smell of fully cooked deer eventually got their attention as the sounds of hungry people eating filled the air. Without another word both men began gathering up the other cuts of meat and made their way to the fireside.

He was torn for half a moment, fighting back the urge to keep some distance from Beth, but if last night hadn't happened, or at least  _ all _ the parts of last night, he'd have sat next to her and so that's what he did now. 

His body was all too happy to get him settled with a bit of a  _ whomp _ on his ass, his muscles loosening in relief to finally be at rest again. He was immediately rewarded for his decision. He watched as Beth turned her head and smiled at him, something in her eyes looking as relieved as his muscles.

Seeing his hands full of deer, she pulled the rest of a half-eaten cooked piece from her hastily made skewer, placing it on her knee, before taking a couple of the strips from him. And with quick efficient movements got them ready and set in the fire. He watched as she then lightly smacked her sister on the arm to get her attention and repeated the process with Maggie's skewer.

"Here." She thrust the already cooked meat at him, but he didn’t move to take it, instead choosing to shake his head at her.

Wasn't about to take food from her, girl looked like she couldn't take on a raccoon at her current weight.

"Daryl, don't be stubborn, there's more meat cookin' up and outta the two of us  _ I'm _ the one that actually got some breakfast, did you?"

No of course he hadn't gotten anything, and his stomach was feeling like it might go Terminus at any moment and start eating its damn self. When he continued to hesitate she fixed him with a look that made him doubt his earlier assessment of her.

She might just be crazier than the coon, he liked her chances.

He plucked the meat from her fingertips offering a tugging corner of his mouth as thanks and her own smile in response was pretty fuckin' distracting.

He made an exaggerated bite while she watched, shaking her head at him but that smile stayed in place. His eyes trailed along her features, snagging at the stitches, marveling a little that even her wounds seemed - graceful - to him. Meeting her eyes again he stilled his chewing at the frozen edge that had come into her smile.

"They're awful aren't they?" A small uncertain hand made a movement like she meant to touch the weave binding her cheek, or maybe to hide it from his view but she stopped when he shook his head.

Swallowing his food hard, Daryl found himself saying the first thing that came to mind. "Jus' thinkin' how even yer damn scars are gonna be pretty." Well that didn't make any goddamn sense. He tried again gesturing towards the curving marks on cheek and above brow. "Symmetrical."

_ Congratulations on the ten dollar word ya fuckin' moron. _

He was a little confused when he saw a light pinkness color her face, and the smile thaw out as she looked away from him. Replaying what had come tumbling out of his mouth he felt his next breath waver in his chest.

_ Even? _

Without that his words might be able to be chalked up to a guy who'd had a lot of stitches and scars both, trying to make a girl without any feel better about the permanent marks she was going to have to live with. That was a big 'might' though, but it was blown straight to hell with that 'even' he'd been dumb enough to leave in. Because he might not have meant to say it out loud -  _ ever _ \- but of course he thought she was pretty.

Hell, to him she was the quiet part of the morning, the five more minutes of sleep he needed to get through the day, the weapon in his hand that never broke, saving him again and again. Beth Greene was more than pretty, and he didn't want her thinking any different. Didn't necessarily want her thinking he did either.

"Thanks." She said quietly at about the same time he felt like things couldn't get more awkward. She didn't look at him again, but her cheeks were still rosy and those lips of hers were still curled up nicely as she looked towards their steadily cooking lunch.

He didn't reply with anything intelligible, it was pretty obvious him and words were a bad idea, at least that wasn't new. He started eating with more enthusiasm than he currently felt, his movements bordering on aggressive. Lucky for him that Beth was the kind of person who didn't mind receiving a compliment, even if it was from the guy she looked at like a...what?

He didn't think he wanted to know.

Finishing with the last bite and cleaning the juices off of his fingers with his mouth, Daryl frowned at the metallic taste that was left on his skin and that bit at his tongue. He couldn't decide what bothered him more. The idea that Beth might think of him as she would a brother, or worse a father, maybe even a creepy but harmless uncle? Or, that he  _ really _ didn't want to know if she did.

The remaining cuts of meat were much thicker and would take longer to cook, it was too bad they didn't have some sort of makeshift grill. Their current technique was going to take a while. 

A groaning shuffle came from across the road and Daryl spun up to a knee while drawing his knife only to watch as Carol handed off her lunch, and easily met the walker before it could reach blacktop, knifing it through an empty eye socket.

Casting a quick look around he was surprised not to see more of the dead heading in their direction, it made him feel uneasy, good luck of any kind was usually followed up by a larger "fuck you" from the universe. He was sure Beth would needle him about his lack of faith, but that had been Daryl's experience up until this point, and he wasn't likely to change his mind by much. In any capacity except where she was concerned.

Eyes flicking to the blonde he always seemed to be thinking of, he found her in a similar position as himself. Knees on the ground she had her knife out and was scanning the opposite direction he had been. Another searching pass through the tree line satisfied her, and their eyes met, she flashed him another easy smile and some of the tension leeched out of his muscles.

"Should prob'ly go haul that down the road a ways." He muttered to no one in particular gesturing to the buck remains that already had a large collection of buzzing bodies covering it. The damn thing was too big to burry and he didn't have the time, tools, or energy to do it anyway.

He was preparing to stand when he saw Abraham motion him back down.

"Give yourself a break Grizz, me and Eugene'll haul that carcass for ya, least we can do for the meal, right Eugene?"

The mulleted scientist nodded agreement. "Certainly, thank you for that fine sustenance, though if possible I would like more upon my return."

Daryl shrugged as he sat back down with a heavy breath that could have been considered a sigh. His own stomach was grumbling for more, and he hadn't looked forward to making the dirty trek down the road to unload the walker bait anyway. Might as well give the others a chance to pull their weight.

"You doin' alright?" Beth's quiet voice pulled him back to her. 

They held each other’s gazes and Daryl felt his pulse trip a bit in his wrists, it continued to jump along his throat as he watched the sun fracture the color in her eyes until he swore he could see ten shades of blue in there instead of one. 

“Don’ I look alrigh’?” He asked finally, taking way longer than he should have to say anything. He watched her open her mouth then pause before swallowing back whatever she’d been about to say.

“’Course ya do, just  _ also _ lookin’ like maybe I’m not the only who’s sore.” She shrugged a little at the end of this diagnosis before breaking her eye contact with him. 

He bristled a little, before he was able to remind that ornery ass part of himself that of all people Beth was the last one to mean it as any kind of jab.

And it wasn’t like she was wrong, he felt like hell, probably looked it too. But since there wasn’t anything to be done about it and he didn’t want her or anyone else fussing over him, he decided to change the subject by ignoring what she’d said. 

“They startin’ t’ itch yet?” She stiffened a little as the conversation turned back into talking about her cuts and eventual scars. He saw her side look at him but he hadn’t meant his question as a jab any more than she had, and after a breath she shook her head. “Ya tell me when they do, we’ll get ‘em out easy, try an’ look for first aid stuff.”

“Alright.” She smiled at him again, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes and they considered one another before Daryl was the one looking away, using the excuse of turning the meat over.

“Musta gotten ‘em not too far back if they ain’t itchin’ yet.” 

His voice was as quiet and noncommittal as he’d ever heard it. If it had been him – there was no way in hell he’d want to share the details of a beating, but Beth wasn’t him, and he didn’t want that shit festering inside her any more than it already was. When she was silent he glanced over to see her looking at him in confusion. 

“Stitches in the face usually only gotta be there for about a’ week or so.” He explained, eyes ticking up to her brow before dropping back to her cheek. “Got more blood goin’ t’ yer face than some of the other parts.”

They both sat wordless as Beth apparently worked out how he would know this so well. Sadness flashed before she could hide it, but he didn’t mind, long as she didn’t want him to cry on her shoulder about it, it didn’t bug him to have her care. He sure as hell felt bad for the things she knew now that he wished she didn’t.

“Shouldn’t be too much longer for this one then.” He was a little proud of her for how matter of fact she sounded, not detached, just not letting it swamp her. Woman was strong as hell. She’d been gesturing towards her cheek, before pointing at the crisscrossing thread along her forehead. “An’ this’ll be a couple a’ days after that.”

Daryl felt a muscle in his jaw jerk and realized he was gritting his teeth hard enough to hear the creak of enamel grinding together. He knew hearing about what had gone on was going to piss him off, but it was still staggering, when it hit him. His breathing picked up as he took this new information into account.

Not only had some dumb motherfucker decided it was a good idea to hit her once, but then that worthless piece of shit, or one like them, had done it  _ again _ . The first set of stitches still in the soft flesh of her fuckin’ cheek and it hadn’t slowed them down any. And where the fuck had he been? Tied up like a fuckin’ hog for the slaughter at that too good to be true pipe dream, Terminus. 

His face was impassive he knew, but apparently he hadn’t been able to make it go all the way to his eyes because she was watching him with more concern than he ever deserved.

“Daryl?” Her voice was barely there, and he knew she was worried he was going to lose his shit. 

The voices around them were still chattering away, everyone excited to have full bellies.

“I need t’ head back there?” He didn’t sound quite human the amount of growl that was coming out with his words. “Or’d I already git the bitch that did it?”

He didn’t much care what the gender of her attacker was, the term was fitting either way.

Concern tamped down his anger when it looked like she’d stopped breathing, it lasted for a few more heartbeats before she nodded. “You don’t gotta go back Daryl, ya took care of her just fine.” 

Daryl was hit with the sudden feeling that they were straight looking through one another, and he was falling into lake blue eyes, floating around her irises while she ran chilly fingertips along the inside curve of his skull. All the sound around him drifted back until he couldn’t pick it up any more than he could paws on bark or hair sliding through an open palm. 

“Anybody else there deserve the same?” They were leaning in towards one another and he didn’t know when it had happened, but he didn’t want anyone overhearing them. And since he’d decided to go for broke, and maybe at the worst possible time too, he wasn’t going to be the one to pull back.

He couldn’t say it out loud. Couldn’t ask this beautiful woman in front of him if someone had raped her. Which made him a coward he figured, but Daryl felt like her answer would wreck him and he didn’t have the strength enough not to fall apart on her. So right now he needed her to develop the ability to read his mind. 

_ Just this once.     _

He knew he’d made a mistake, hell he’d known it soon as the words had left his mouth, and watched as the life started sinking into the black of her pupils. That emotionless mask so much more eerie than his own took its place and he hated himself as it smoothed out her features.

“No.” Flat toned and dead eyed she looked back at him, and he felt the panic move like a shot of Jack through his body, fire in his mouth and throat, burning its way down to his gut. “They’re all dead now.” 

He didn’t have time to go over her words, he wasn’t about to make this shit worse by asking about the  _ they _ she was talking about, or the fact that he hadn’t gotten the answer to what he’d been asking about. 

He’d already shoved his foot so far into his mouth the walkers would find fuckin’ toenails in his lungs when they ate him.

On a stretch of insanity he reached out and claimed her small cold hand with his own, wrapping his much longer fingers around hers. His thumb began immediately rubbing little circles into the heel of her hand, sort of like how’d he’d done last night on her back. 

No way was he going to let her scamper away from him right now. He might not be able to stop it from happening again sometime, but he sure as hell could try whatever it took to pull her back from the edge that he’d shoved her over. He was relieved when she didn’t flinch or pull away, instead taking a deep breath, she twisted her wrist a little to thread their fingers together. 

“Second round’s ready!” Glenn crowed before Maggie smacked him in the shoulder for his volume.

“You hear that Eugene? We got us some impeccable timing.” Abraham’s voice on top of Glenn’s loud announcement was pulling Daryl back into the present, but he refused to pull his hand from hers.

They were sitting pretty close to one another and their linked fingers were between them, his resting on hers, hers on the ground. He gave her a squeeze, thumb rolling strokes from the space between her own thumb and index finger and clear up to the underside of her forearm. His eyes were skipping back and forth between each pale one of hers, cursing himself steady until he saw a bit of a spark come back. 

“Hey.” He said in a normal volume and watched her eyebrows raise in question. “You ready for seconds?” Giving one final squeeze he slowly disentangled his knuckles from hers and reached for one of the skewers, surprised when he couldn’t see sparks falling from the fingers that had touched hers.

“No I’m alright.” He eyed her as he gingerly began removing the first large cut from its place, yanking at the places where it was charred to the wood. She was back he could tell, but she seemed deflated and he wasn’t about to let that stand.

“Hell you are.” Her eyes widened at his volume and he knew he was drawing attention to himself but that was fine, he might need the backup of making an ass of himself for her. “Woman I know I didn’ haul no 90 pound buck through half a’ Georgia for you not to eat any of it. Ya take this-“ He slapped the still steaming chunk of deer into her hand. “An’ ya eat it ‘fore Eugene over there cleans us out.”

His timing was good, as the man in question was mid-bite, chuckles and snorts rolled around the campfire. Eugene backed off his mouthful to fix Daryl with a deadpan frown, in reply Daryl removed the other piece from the skewer and without letting it cool down ripped a chunk off with his teeth. 

Soundly burning the shit out of his mouth.

She was looking at him like he’d lost his mind, and since he wasn’t real sure if he hadn’t, he gave her a narrow eyed glower all the while hitching up one side of his mouth into an uncertain grin. Maggie seemed to pick up on what he was trying to do because she was suddenly leaning into Beth’s ear and whispering something that made the blonde’s eyes widen hugely before she choked out a startled laugh.

And then she was turning to her sister, shoving into her with a chastising shoulder, a blush seeping down her cheeks that bunched up from the smile she flashed brightly. He had no idea what Maggie had said, knew it was probably something at his expense, but who the fuck cared as long as Beth kept smiling like that.

He sucked in a cool breath of air around his numb and tingling tongue, never so happy to be in pain. The talk around the fire picked up, this time with Beth firmly in the middle of it and taking part, chewing away on her lunch. 

She’d cast her eyes his way now and then and he’d give her an appraising look in return, head tilted a little back judging her progress down the length of his nose. His act cracking a little, he’d feel his lips twitch every time she’d roll her eyes or scrunch up her face at him mockingly.

Yeah he felt like he’d dodged a bite or a bullet this time for sure, fuckin’ stupid bringing that shit up now, in front of the whole goddamn group basically. God (he didn’t much believe in) willing, that’d be his only jackass moment of the day. Looking at the sky, he judged it to be somewhere between two and three in the afternoon.

_ Real doubtful that I’ll manage t’ not be a dick ‘til sundown.  _

When the rest of the deer had been eaten and they were getting ready to pack up, Rick shared the news of their new plan with the group. Noah beamed at Beth who smiled weakly in return casting glances Daryl’s way. He kept his face blank, he wasn’t real excited about this trip, but if they were the good people that Beth believed them to be, than this is exactly what they needed to do.

“Only thing we need to know now is where we’re goin’.” Rick finished, looking at Noah expectantly.

“Richmond, Virginia.” The younger man supplied and Daryl could see how nervous he was saying it. That was a far trip for them to make, but then again as he’d told Rick, they didn’t really have any other kind of plan.

Rick nodded, casting a look Daryl’s way and they exchanged a knowing glance. That definitely put more pressure on him to get all those vehicles up and running so they could leave together as one big ragtag convoy on their way to Virginia.

His eyes met Beth’s and she was smiling at him, face a little wistful as she did.

_ “I’ve never been outta Georgia.”  _

He couldn’t say for sure if that’s what she was thinking about, but it sure was running through his mind. That damn game of hers. Hadn’t really gone the way either one of them expected it to, but it had all worked out in the end he guessed, in a manner of speaking. Looked like he was going to get his chance to cross that one off the list, wouldn’t be able to use it if they ever played again.

After they’d gotten fully packed and ready to go Daryl led the way through the woods, crossbow loaded and hanging heavy in his arms. The group started a slight backtrack through the shady confines that only seemed to trap the heat more completely than what they’d been feeling by the road. 

He kept a careful eye out for any walkers, the lack of dragging steps were playing havoc on his nerves. Not like he was gunning to see a herd anytime  _ ever _ , but small clumps of stragglers were a normal occurrence. Something was nagging at his gut about how quiet everything around here was.

If there wasn’t a herd heading their way then he’d bet his bow one had just passed through.

They’d been walking for a good while when something started prickling the back of his neck and Daryl whipped his head around to check on everyone’s progress. Trudging along in decent formation they all looked well enough. No one had opposed the idea of finding somewhere to rest up. The constant walking was a strain that after several days was wearing on them.

Near the back of the line he saw Beth walking next to Maggie, he had enough time to feel good about the sisters being attached at the hip. He knew how much her relationship with her sister meant to Beth. And it wasn’t any of his business, about Maggie’s prior lack of concern with finding her sister, even if it did rub at him wrong when he thought about it.

His brow furrowed at the look of pain on Beth’s face as she hobbled on the crutches he’d made her. Each swinging step was pulling her features into a deeper grimace, lines on her forehead and between her brows. He motioned Rick to keep them on their current path and wasted no time making his way back to her.

“You alrigh’?” He ignored the way she jumped mid-step at his words, he was pretty used to surprising people with his quiet steps. 

She glanced at him and he frowned even more at her pained smile.

“Don’t I look alright?” She tossed his words back at him, but he was already shaking his head at her. Sliding his look to the older Greene sister he couldn’t help the accusation in his tone.

“Can’t ya see nothin’? Sister’s over here lookin’ like she’s tryin’ t’ shit porcupine quills.” Beth let out an indignant yelping noise, and Maggie didn’t rip into him as he’d expected, instead her face turned smug as she flicked a look over to Beth.

“Told ya he was gonna come back here growlin’ if you didn’t ask anyone to carry you.” Maggie shrugged in the face of her little sister’s glare, not seeming too concerned with the daggers Beth was sending her way. 

Daryl shook his head again, strap of his bow already going over his head, his muscles hollering like last call drunks with the movement. He was giving his body a mental berating when he noticed her shaking her head emphatically back at him.

“You’re  _ not _ carryin’ me.”

He couldn’t help the way his head jerked back a little at her words.

_ Christ, quit actin’ like she just hit ya you pussy. _

It was still crazy to him that his inner drill sergeant sounded like Merle.

“Fine.” He shrugged, eyes skittering around anywhere but to hers. “But yer pickin’ someone else ya don’ mind doin’ it.” 

He was grateful he’d spent so much time having to hide his reactions to things that upset him. Not that he was. But it was nice that right now he sounded unaffected at her reaction to him. He stopped walking when she did and tried his best not to lean back when she moved towards him a little.

“I can tell you’re hurtin’ too Daryl.” His gaze snapped to hers and then away, they were being passed by Father Stokes and Tara and Beth waited until they were farther away before going on. “You think I’m better off bein’ carried that’s fine. But you  _ are _ gonna let me take care of you, like you are for me.” 

His eyes narrowed as his heart tried to hop through his throat. Good lord, when had she gotten this damn adamant when it came to him? He couldn’t remember the last time she’d backed down. That much was true. But there was a note of the same kind of protectiveness in her voice that he’d had towards her.

Why was it, he felt like it wasn’t the first time he’d heard it?

_ “I’m not leavin’ you!” _

Unable to swallow his heart back down enough to make a response he gave her a jerking nod. Turning, he half jogged to where Tyreese was walking next to Sasha in line, after a quick word the big man smiled and nodded to Daryl’s request. The group paused long enough for Beth to be hoisted up, Sasha taking her crutches with a smile at the grumpy looking blonde.

“Ah come on Beth, you know we’re all so glad to have you back, we’d carry you  _ all _ over Georgia.” Sasha’s smile was infectious for Beth who grudgingly returned it after a few stubborn moments.

“She says that cuz she dang well knows she isn’t going to be the one doing the actual carrying.” Tyreese teased, smile as bright as his sister’s, and Daryl was satisfied that the two would be able to keep Beth from feeling like some kind of bullshit weak link.  

“Ain’t too far now ‘til we’re there.” He muttered to them before making his way back to the front of the group. 

Rick had done a good job keeping them on track and he only had to modify their course a bit to get them headed straight towards their next temporary shelter. Feet falling lightly as he went, Daryl tried to get a handle on his scattered – everything – inside him. He was pretty sure he shouldn’t feel that swell around his ribcage that felt way too much like happiness.

That woman sounding so fierce over him should definitely be tripping up some familiar feelings of inadequacy, or at the very least a nice dose of panic and discomfort. Maybe that shit would happen later, once he got everyone settled.

But right now he was in a nice patch of Georgia woods and as long as he didn’t have to tell anyone about it, he figured being happy over that ferocious little blonde behind him couldn’t hurt anything.

At least for now.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and all feedback is appreciated. :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Hey guys! Here's chapter 6 and I should be posting 7 on Thursday. Thanks so much to everyone who read and left any and all kinds of feedback, it's so great that everyone is excited like I am for this fic.

**Chapter 6**

 

When they reached the house Beth tapped Tyreese, asking him silently to set her down while several of the group broke off and cleared the rooms. The rest of them waited and Beth surveyed the area around them as she carefully tested how much weight her ankle could bear. 

The previous owners of this house had had a decent amount of money, several cars and an older SUV were lined up along the dirt driveway that stretched in the opposite direction from the one they’d come from.

Her ankle took some of her weight before feeling like it was about to buckle and she eased off it with a frown. 

The house was large, two stories and boxy, it didn’t have much in the way of a porch, just a few bricked steps leading to the heavy wooden door. An odd mixture of river rock and white siding, the structure looked out of place where it sat in amongst the trees. 

Overall, Beth didn’t really know what to think about this day. Doing a quick pro and con list in her head she’d say it was going mostly ok. She had started it off being embarrassed out of her mind, but she had managed to stay clear headed for most of the day so far, which was a major improvement. She’d almost slipped back into the numbness earlier but she’d made it back thanks to Daryl.

_ Jesus Mary and Joseph! _

Daryl Dixon had not only called her pretty he had grabbed and held onto her hand, rolling a scraping thumb along her shiver cool skin until her haze had been evaporated by his heat. He must have been able to tell how his questions had gotten to her. She knew he hadn’t meant for her mind to attempt another fall into herself, but everything that had happened to her was directly tied to him in Daryl’s mind, and he hated it. 

_ Sweet lord.  _

The look when he’d asked her if he needed to go back to the hospital…

Even though she knew Daryl’s eyes were blue, a heartbreaking hue that was so bright sometimes she couldn’t imagine how they could be natural, right then in the light of the day they’d looked near black. The hooded intensity of his gaze made her feel like she couldn’t breathe let alone move. But then he’d asked about others – and her mind had skipped to Gorman, his hands shoving roughly up her shirt and the panic had given way to fog.

The hand he’d held twitched, and she clenched it rhythmically, to the not so steady beat of her heart. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure about her words to Maggie, what she’d sworn at the time to be true – there being no possibility of anything happening between her and Daryl. 

Things were a little unsteady at the moment, but that summer storm feeling was there too. Every time their gazes held she’d feel the warm pressure land along her arms and chest. Felt it cinch up her stomach and tingle along her hips and thighs. 

Maybe it was wishful thinking but the way he’d been looking back at her – seemed like maybe he felt something of the same. 

The man in question came out the front door, leaving it open behind him and motioning for the waiting members outside to head in. Tyreese offered her an arm but she shook her head with an apologetic smile and gestured to the brooding man coming towards them, his long strides carrying him quickly down the brick steps. 

This was exactly why she’d had Tyreese put her down in the first place, she may have needed someone else to carry her here to save Daryl the strain and energy but she wasn’t stupid  _ or _ blind.

She’d been with him too long not to notice the way he’d flinched back earlier, and even though he’d seemed satisfied with her answer, she was willing to put herself out there to make sure he was ok. Daryl growled like a bear, but when it came to their family there wasn’t any real teeth there to worry about. Seeing her interaction with Tyreese, Sasha nodded and walked passed the hunter into the house, Beth’s crutches in hand.

“Help me in?” Daryl flicked his eyes towards Sasha’s retreating frame, obviously wondering why the woman had made off with her crutches, but shrugged a  _ yes _ at her as he slung his bow over his shoulder.

She threw an arm over his neck and he bent to wrap one along the small of her back. Using one of the handrails that were located on either side of the steps, she made a cautious step up.

“S’gonna take all day.” She smiled at his grousing, they’d been in this position before and it had led to the first time he’d scooped her up in his arms. 

She remembered the hugeness of her smile as he’d lifted her and pushed through the kitchen door, banging it back into the fridge with the force.

“Ya don’t want to be carryin’ me right now Daryl, trust me.” Her voice held barely contained laughter as she slowly hopped up onto another step, her fingers digging into his shoulder. “I just ate my weight in deer meat.”

Her warning didn’t seem to affect him any, and she turned her head to see him nodding approvingly at her as they negotiated the last couple of steps and made it to the landing before the open door.

“Tha’s good though Greene,” and she’d have to be deaf to miss the sincere note of relief in his voice, “glad I could get somethin’ in ya.”  

Her breath caught hard in her throat just as one of Daryl’s usually sure feet collided with the door jamb, pitching them forward in a mess of swinging limbs and stumbling legs. He was the first to get balanced again and without meeting her eyes he got her carefully righted so she could once again stand one legged next to him. Their wind-milling act had garnered them a good amount of attention, and with her arm still crooked around the back of his neck she could feel Daryl’s flesh heat up noticeably.

“You sure are getting clumsy in your old age Daryl.” Beth latched onto her bottom lip to stop from smiling, as Daryl sent an irritated glare Carl’s way, the boy not looking the least bit repentant for his dig.

“Shuddup.” The hunter growled, and began to make his way over to the half broken couch with his arm still carefully wrapped around her. 

Once he got her seated he bent down and started fidgeting with the wrapping on her ankle, slipping her boot off before undoing the binding. At first she couldn’t understand why he didn’t hightail it away from her as soon as her butt touched cushion, but then she realized, he was a rosy shade under his tan and apparently had made the decision that it was better for her to see it than everyone else.

Air pulled hard into her lungs and she didn’t know until then that she’d been holding her breath. 

So it hadn’t just been her imagination. 

She’d been about to chastise herself for her increasingly dirty mind – largely blaming her sister – when his stray foot had sent them careening off balance. 

“You did it too.” And she knew her eyes were huge in her face when he peeked up at her through his hair, his blue eyes once again dark and trapping light.

“Shuddup.” He repeated but this time his reply was quiet and she leaned in as he finished unwinding the strip of cloth from her ankle.

“I don’t remember this many awkward conversations happenin’ before, do you?” He was shaking his head by the time she finished her question and his voice grumbled out from his throat as he answered.

“Hell no. An’ I liked it better when we weren’t sayin’ anythin’ or just screamin’ our heads off was fine too.”

She couldn’t help the wry smile that curved up along her mouth as she watched him begin to carefully rewrap her ankle

“Oh c’mon Daryl, the funeral home was nice.” 

Well everything up until the end anyway. 

“It was alrigh’.” His tone was dismissive as he shrugged along with his words, and Beth felt them prick at her in uncomfortable ways. 

He was pulling away, she’d seen that look, that look had made her furious on more than one occasion. Reaching out for one of his swiftly rotating hands, Beth swallowed down her disappointment when Daryl pulled away from her grasp.

“Ya didn’t have any problem  _ touching _ me at the funeral home either.” She knew exactly how her words had sounded and wasn’t surprised when he jerked and dropped the binding for her ankle, losing half a circuit as it fell to the floor.

“Christ woman don’  _ say _ shit like that.”  

Beth focused on her lap as he uncertainly went back to work. The bite in his tone was chafing at the hope she’d had that he’d been feeling…differently towards her. 

It was so silly, because honestly it  _ had _ only been brought up that morning. But now that it was out there – and not just residing in the quiet places in her mind – Beth didn’t want to go back to it  _ only _ being there and nowhere else. 

She had been experiencing the ache of his loss for a while now. Daryl avoiding her touch was like waking up in Grady and finding out he wasn’t there. They’d pretty much done the impossible, it was the end of the world and they’d found each other, well Daryl had tracked her down because he was amazing. And she’d seen flashes of getting closer to him, and it had felt like it was  _ supposed _ to be. 

Still…she never should have listened to Maggie.

Getting your hopes up…it just wasn’t a good idea anymore.

Feeling a light squeeze on her calf, Beth looked up to see him studying her, his wrapping somewhat forgotten in his hands. Not feeling like putting herself out there after his reaction, the best she could manage to do was hold his gaze. Watching him, she briefly wondered if he was worried she’d check out on him again.

“Startin’ t’ think you got weak ankles girl.” He said, a teasing note in his tone, a warm palm making its way up her calf again before settling back into wrapping up the last bit of her ankle, tying it off with quick movements before settling back on his heels.

“Startin’ to think you’re bad luck for my ankles Daryl.” Her response wasn’t quite as light hearted as his had been, and she felt a wave of guilt at seeing the red seep into his tan again, climbing all the way to his ears this time. “It’s ok though.” She heard herself continue, catching his gaze from under his hair. “You’re good luck for the rest of me.” 

What she said definitely didn’t help with his flush, but it was pretty cute, and since he was stuck with her until it went away, she was going to try and just enjoy these moments with him.

“Don’t think anyone’s ever said that about a Dixon.” She shrugged at him, a soft smile tickling the corners of her mouth when he glanced back up at her. 

After all this time it was crazy to her that he could still have such a negative image of himself, when she knew how much everyone in the group looked up to and cared about him.

“You’re Daryl.” She supplied, not really knowing if the simple answer would be enough for him, it made perfect sense in her head, but he was so damn stubborn about everything. “You’re the best at keepin’ me – us safe. Makes us pretty lucky I think.”

He watched her now, head tipped back, and she almost sighed in happiness as that pressure like static shock settled between them once again. If all it took for him to get that look in his eyes was her believing in him, well, they were both in luck, because one of the only things Beth didn’t question anymore was the godsend that was Daryl Dixon.

Just as her ears started to feel like they were at high altitude he dragged his eyes from hers and glancing down at her ankle, he ran careful hands over it and her foot. She did her best not to squirm in his hold, trying to focus instead on how incredibly large his hands were in comparison to her tightly bound appendage.

But focusing on Daryl’s hands was not a good way to distract herself from being overwhelmingly attracted to him. They engulfed the foot they held and she knew how amazing they felt when pressing against her overwrought muscles. 

She loved each callus that created friction along her smoother skin, the long length of the fingers that could trail or press with equal amounts of satisfaction. There was a capability there and in his broad palms that made her want to pull them across her body.

See where she liked them most.

She swallowed passed the sudden constriction in her throat as she realized he’d asked her a question and was waiting with flickering blue eyes for her to answer. When it was clear she hadn’t heard, he tapped a thumb against the top of her foot and narrowed his eyes a bit at her spacey expression.

“How’s it feel?” He asked, tapping again against the bandage.

“Great.” Daryl’s gaze sharpened at the croaking reply she gave him, but all she could do was smile as she swallowed more fervently through the dryness.

He gave her a final nod before replacing her boot and then rose stiffly to a standing position.

“I’m gonna rub your shoulders tonight.” Perhaps she was having a stroke, or she really had lost her mind in Atlanta because had she just  _ told _ him she was going to put her hands on him?  _ And _ made it sound like he didn’t have a choice in the matter?

His eyes narrowed to slits this time, but she’d said it now and backing down was no longer an option, you didn’t set that type of precedent with Daryl if you could help it. So she opened her eyes wider, brows raised in challenge.

“M’fine.” He hedged, face blank, and she couldn’t help the slight cocking of her head and the disbelief that filled her look.

When he continued to be stubborn she did her spot on Daryl impression and shrugging, looked away from him and crossed defensive arms across her chest.

“Fine then so am I. An’ I don’t want you or anyone else carryin’ me anymore, and no back rubs for me either. Ya know,” she continued, watching as the incredulous look on his face became more pronounced, “since I’m  _ just fine _ .”

“Ya really gonna cut yer nose off t’ spite your face like that?” And his voice matched his expression as he tilted his head down towards her.

“Oh I don’t know Daryl, are  _ you _ ?”

After several uncomfortable moments he snorted at her before turning and walking straight out the still open door. Beth sighed as she finally let herself sink back against the couch. 

Him storming off didn’t really mean much, he’d go out and curse her name to the waiting woods and work out in his stubborn head what he wanted to do. 

Looking over she watched as people spread out on the living room floor, or watched as they went meandering up the stairs to check out the upper level. She figured a few people would want to spend a night in one of the beds that no doubt lay upstairs. Beth would be pretty happy if she could just stay on this couch.

Her eyes trailed around the room, taking in the details of lives that were no longer here. Framed photos and handmade knickknacks were littered over every surface, the mantle of the fireplace, peeking out from between books on the shelves built into the walls.

She had a full belly and a soft cushion and it wasn’t long before she’d drifted off, still sitting up, her head resting against the back of the couch. 

She dreamt of long hallways and groping hands that shoved themselves under her shirt and into her mouth. She couldn’t breathe and she was going to die here and there was nothing she could do to change it.

And she was just so  _ mad _ she screamed.

Hands gripped her wrists trying to hold her down and she struggled to free herself with a yell. 

Eyes flying open Beth took several unsteady shuddering gasps of air. Her body was still tensed against the hands that gripped her, and she blinked until the inky figure over her took shape. She blinked again as Rick’s fuzzy face came into view, he held on tightly, eyes filled with a quiet focus that bordered on uncanny and she felt her heartrate begin to normalize. Full dark had fallen while she’d slept and the fire was built up in the hearth and ghostly faces stared at her.

Concentrating, she saw the rest of the group looking her way, Maggie was closest, Glenn was next to her. Once it was clear that she wasn’t going to have a night terror and throttle someone, Rick dropped his hold. Looking back to him she nodded shakily, he returned it and straightened up, walking back over to the fireplace and folding himself onto the floor next to Carl and Judith.

Maggie came and sat next to her as she sat up on the couch. She still felt panicked and trapped a little, trying to work on getting her lungs to move in their regular fashion. 

She was so embarrassed while Maggie laid a careful hand between her heaving shoulder blades. She felt her eyes burn and blinked until they were more closed than open as she kept her gaze trained on the floor. She was  _ not _ going to cry in front of all these people. She was not going to cry at  _ all _ .

There was a trembling in her ribcage as she leaned into her sister, feeling as the couch dipped on the other side of her, and Glenn placed a light hand on her shoulder, obviously worried she would shy away from him. She offered him a watery smile in thanks and saw him sigh in relief. She felt jittery and anxious still, but she wasn’t seeing monsters where there weren’t any.

Hating herself just a little, she moved closer to Maggie, so she could whisper without being overheard by anyone.

“Where’s-” She didn’t even have to finish the sentence before Maggie was ducking her head back to whisper in Beth’s ear.

“Over by the stairs, he was in the kitchen, came runnin’ out when he heard ya yell.”

Eyes scanning the darkness near the stairwell, she caught sight of the firelight winking in a pair of eyes near a door she assumed went to the kitchen. It was tucked back a bit and he was watching the three of them steadily from his place of reasonable anonymity. 

Unable to think much about it, she felt her feet gather underneath her, and she stood uncertainly for a moment. Taking limping, hopping steps, she reached him in a handful of these uncoordinated movements and without warning wrapped still shaking arms around his neck. She pulled herself up until she could bury her too warm face against his throat.

He was stiff for several minutes and Beth felt as tears began to force themselves out from under her clenched eyelids. And then, like he could feel the sudden moisture on his skin, his arms banded around her back. 

She choked back a sob and felt as Daryl lifted her, his arms encasing nearly the entire span of her back. He stepped farther away from the living room, and the shadows of the small hallway fell around them as he leaned his shoulders and spine against the wall next to the door.

“They can’t fuckin’ touch you.” He murmured into her hair fiercely, and she sighed out another cry at the way his voice scrabbled out of his throat. “Bastards had t’ hit you with a goddamn  _ car _ t’ take ya Beth. Ain’t nothin’ about you that’s weak.” 

She was able to gulp back the next noise and nodded into his throat, feeling his pulse jump against her clenched lips. It was like Daryl could read her – she was tracks in the woods to him, and he knew exactly what she needed to hear when she felt like she was about to tremble into nothing.

Her mouth unclenched and without exactly meaning to, she nuzzled a little into his warmth and the smell that she couldn’t help but associate with strength and safety. He tensed under her lips but didn’t let her go or move away, and she felt the side of his head butt against hers, the motion somehow affectionate and she took in an easier breath.

“Fine.” He finally rasped, confusing her. “Ya can rub m’damn shoulders but don’ think you’re gonna be gettin’ your way every time, jus’ because ya hug me.”

A laugh bubbled from her suddenly, surprising her as she moved her head back just enough to talk, edges of her lips still brushing the warm skin beneath. 

“You like my hugs, admit it.” There were still tremors running the gambit in her vocal cords, but she’d stopped crying.

“Nah.” He mumbled, his chin resting lightly on the curve of her shoulder, but she felt his arms tighten until it just  _ almost _ hurt. 

She could feel every part of him meld into her, his rougher angles pressing against her like he wanted her safely tucked along his spine. And she loved the way her hips fit against his, the way the muscles along his stomach and chest had the smallest amount of give, just enough so that she felt nestled into him.

And as if hugging Daryl Dixon was magic, she felt her nervous center settle. It was a feeling sort of like coming home, or finding the perfect spot in bed, it was petals between her fingertips and a warm breeze against her neck.

“This mean you’re gonna rub my back again?” She whispered to him and his affirming hum vibrated along the length of her body and she was suddenly feeling quite warm. 

Her nose against his neck moved without her conscious permission, grazing along the ruddy column until it hit stubble and the edge of his jaw.

Like this was some kind of signal he quickly released her, she missed the contact as soon as their torsos parted from one another, but she knew that had been  _ a lot _ of touching for Daryl and she wasn’t willing to press her luck. After all, he’d agreed to at least two more rounds of contact tonight, and it was already getting late.

“C’mon there’s a study over here.” He gestured towards the base of the stairs and Beth saw that there was a sliding door that could almost pass as the wall except for the small alcove in the paneling that had a handle someone could grasp onto and move the door along its nearly silent track.

She waited until they’d gotten into the room, and she was settled on the floor in front of one of the study’s massive chairs, a low slung coffee table bumping her propped up knees, and Daryl’s warmth at her back before she said anything.

“Coulda just done this in the living room.” She reasoned lightly, dropping her chin against her chest as soon she felt his hands land on her shoulders.

“Don’ like everyone watchin’.” He muttered so quietly she almost didn’t hear him. She bit at the inside of her lip even though he couldn’t have any way of seeing her smile if she did.

She’d never met someone as equally ferocious as they were bashful until she’d gotten to know Daryl. She was still trying to suss out the nasty effects of that nightmare, and settle on the knowledge that if there  _ was _ going to be anything happening more with Daryl, that she’d need the patience of a saint. 

But besides all that, Beth was just really enjoying being with him, like she had been earlier before they’d both gotten stubborn and he’d left, spending time with Daryl was everything she’d felt missing with the others she’d wanted in the past. Of course that was hardly a fair comparison, Daryl was…

Daryl.

She didn’t quite understand how such an innocuous name could explode with so much meaning and emotion inside her head and chest, but again, the man always kept her guessing. Never sure what side of him she was going to get, he was a delicious mix of soft and hard. 

Like crunchy peanut butter. 

Coming back to the present, she bit her tongue against the unladylike sound that had threatened to reappear as soon as Daryl started pressing careful thumbs into the swell of her shoulders.

“Afraid they’d try an’ make this your new job?” She questioned half teasingly, before coughing out a strangled note when he pressed his thumbs into the place where her neck ran into her back, scraping feverishly warm fingers along the sides of her neck.

“Yeah.” He answered dryly, and she swore she could hear a smirk. “An’ then where’d you be?”

She decided that she’d be safer humming her answer instead of speaking.

At first it was all she could do to keep quiet, his fingers moving steadily down and pressing in, a little harder with each pass. And then, she couldn’t be sure, but it  _ almost _ felt like he was  _ trying _ to get her to make noise. This of course was insane, Beth knew it, but the longer he pressed palm and pad into her without her making a single peep the more intent he seemed to become.

And then in a move she remembered from the other night, he ran the heels of his hands down either side of her spine and the first noise tore from her throat even as she tried holding onto it with dear life. Her face heated immediately as his hands didn’t slow in their deliberate plying of her tensed muscles.

The flashing wish that he could be doing this against her bare skin heated her face further and her breath caught a bit before she could get herself under control.

He dug careful thumbs a little ways below her shoulder blade and the next sound to make its way out could really only be described as a moan. Well that was that then, he hadn’t seemed to miss a step because of her reactions, so Beth realized she could no longer care. The man she had a massive crush on was running his hands all down her neck and back and really, what did she expect to prove by keeping silent?

What she should be focusing on was the fact that she’d just thought the word crush and it was directly linked to Daryl. And was this not the end of the world? Could she not come up with a term that didn’t make it sound like she was drawing hearts around his name during math class? 

For the next few minutes she made every sound, from a hum, to a whimper, to a few more of the guttural moans that made her grateful for the closed door between her and the steadily chatting group in the next room. She was beginning to feel like warmed honey below his hands when he pressed the inside of his thumb knuckles up along the back of her neck – and the sound she made was truly indecent.

Enough so to make him stall out with the tips of his thumbs resting in the no doubt sweat soaked hair below her ponytail. Easy banter still continued on in the living room, but silence was definitely reigning in the study.

“Sorry.” She mumbled finally, because it seemed as if he were waiting for something, and having no idea what it could be, she went with the safest bet. 

She also tried to care that her voice had sounded kind of sleepy and pleased more than apologetic, but since she wasn’t  _ really _ sorry there wasn’t much she could do.

He sat there behind her a few moments more before disentangling himself. First from her hair, and then with a stiff agility that she found somewhat surprising, he braced himself on the chair arms. Lifted his body up until he could get dirty boots firmly placed into the chair’s leather, and he then hopped easily over the side.

“Gonna get somethin’ t’ eat.” He muttered as he silently slid the door open and disappeared around the stairs.

Beth hummed a reply he probably didn’t hear, but she was working on reconnecting all the joints and muscles in her arms and back. While her body was in much better condition as a result of these little sessions with him, she knew it was going to be a very thin edge she walked every time he put his hands on her.

And now for the first time, as that fuzzy little peace he’d given her started to wear off, Beth felt nervous about rubbing his shoulders. What if she touched where he didn’t want her to? Or what if running her hands along him like he did for her made her forget that if she wanted something to happen between them she’d need to take it slow?

He could be tough and brash, even deadly, but he also spooked worse than a newborn colt. He’d given Nelly such a hard time, but it was Beth’s sound (but silent) opinion that the two had had quite a lot in common.

She saw movement by the steps and caught the sight of a black heel as it went passed. There was a slight creaking as he settled his weight down on the wood and Beth held in a sigh. Worrying her bottom lip with her teeth she waited a minute or two before climbing to her feet, and by using the furniture and walls in the room, hopped her way out.

He nodded a greeting to her from where he sat, curled over a can of some kind of food, white plastic spoon near glowing in the light that managed to make it through the banister. Smiling brightly in return, she ignored the way he tensed up as she began to carefully climb up the steps until she sat down a few steps up from him.

He probably hated having someone looming over his back like this, so she waited, not attempting any conversation or touching him at all. Finally she watched as his shoulders loosened a bit and he continued eating his…whatever the heck that was. 

She couldn’t draw attention to the fact that she was going to touch him, but at the same time she couldn’t just start off with gripping his shoulders either. The chatter had died down and people were no doubt hunkering down for the night, licking her lips quickly, Beth gathered her courage and inched forward on her step.

One more deep breath for nerve and then she leaned forward to lightly place her chin on his shoulder, careful to keep any other part of her from touching him. He stiffened and she held her breath, waiting for him to jerk away or snap. Instead he turned his head a little towards her and she could see him glance into the living room like he was checking to make sure no one was watching them.

Apparently satisfied that they didn’t have an audience, he went back to eating, leaving her chin laying on the edge of his shoulder, right before the full softness of his trap muscle, well as soft as Daryl’s muscles could be. 

“Whatcha doin’?” Her question was blessedly good natured, bordering on playful and she was thankful her voice hadn’t betrayed her this time.

He grumbled a bit in his throat like he didn’t want to answer, before muttering, “Eatin’ whad’d it look like I’m doin’?”

Ok well, they were talking and he sounded grumpy as all get out, but that was fine she knew how to deal with that. 

Ignore it.

“Anythin’ good?” She could nearly applaud her cheerful tone, and surprisingly instead of irritating him further, the normalness in her tenor seemed to calm him down some.

“Nah, jus’ peaches.” 

And then in a move that shocked her and strangely made her want to cry, he lifted the plastic spoon up over his shoulder and she just had time to open her mouth before the sweet syrupy bite invaded her taste buds.

She hummed a thank you as she chewed, grinning again when she thought of the dourness in his voice when he’d told her what he had. 

“You’re from Georgia Daryl.” She chided lightly after she’d swallowed. “How can you not like peaches?” Her smile grew as he snorted in response.

“’Cause I’m  _ from _ Georgia that’s how.” He explained, stabbing in irritation at the bobbing fruit that was left in the can. “They’d put the flavorin’ in everythin’ even shit tha’ shouldn’a taste like peach.” Another stab. “Disgustin’.”

_ “Ain't gonna have your first drink be no damned  _ peach _ schnapps. Come on.” _

“Hmm.” She agreed through her smirk. Talking with him was nice. It felt like they had barely gotten to this point before Grady, and she enjoyed the way they were falling back into it.

No way in the world could she have guessed when she saw him ride onto her daddy’s farm that day, that she’d have these feelings for him. He’d seemed so angry all the time, always about ready to snap, just waiting to say a mean word or throw a fist. But then he’d half killed himself looking for Sophia, and Beth had known then that he was a good man under all that dirt and those glaring eyes.

He’d only proved her right every day since.

And she’d missed him so much while trying to stay alive at Grady, and he must have felt the same because he’d found her. He wouldn’t have done that if he hadn’t missed her too.

Would he? Did he?

She tipped her head to the side, laying her cheek along the length of his shoulder until she felt her crown bump lightly against his ear. He tensed again but she didn’t say anything yet, those two questions repeating on a loop in her mind. He let a breath out and began fishing around in the can for a particularly elusive chunk of fruit. 

“So ya missed me?” The question was out before she could stop it, and she wondered briefly if she had head trauma along with her other injuries and maladies. 

Maybe she was dreaming all this. Maybe she hadn’t gotten lucky in that hallway and Dawn’s bullet had struck home. There just couldn’t be too many explanations for her not being able to keep the stray thoughts in her head from flying out of her and causing things to get unbearably uncomfortable.

Daryl paused with the last spoonful of peach halfway to his mouth, she watched as a drop of syrup slid off the side and plummeted out of view. Finally he guided the bite between his lips, and her head bounced as he shrugged.

Her face screwed up in irritation. For the love of the sweet baby Jesus, she wasn’t asking for declarations of love or a dang wedding proposal. A simple yes would have been just fine.

“Ya know how I already knew that ya missed me?” She tried to keep the same lightness in her tone, but she could feel the muscle below her cheek turning less and less giving.

“’Cause yer crazier than a pet coon an’ the crazy ones always be  _ knowin’ _ things?” His voice was mildly clipped, but Beth knew, she hoped, that if he really thought that – that she was losing her mind – he wouldn’t use it as a way to dig at her.

“I know ya missed me ‘cause you said sorry.” She confided, thinking back to her realization next to the broken down firetruck. “About my ankle? An’ you don’t  _ ever _ apologize Daryl, not for anythin’.”

_ At least not to me. _

She’d pushed too far though, because she felt his head knock into hers, moving it away from him as he ducked his shoulder.

“I busted it didn’ I?” He tossed back his head to down the remaining syrup in the can and Beth began picking at her cuticles in the resulting silence.

“Did ya miss me Daryl?” 

God Almighty she should stop this, but she felt like she needed to hear him say it, just this little thing. He could run hot and cold all he wanted and she’d leave him be, she swore to herself, but she needed something to hold onto for the times he ran away.

His head dropped back down from his swallow and she thought for a moment he’d just get up and leave without saying a word.

But then he was turning around and fixing her with a look she hadn’t seen in too long a time.

Light from the fireplace danced along the planes of his face, not quite reaching through the darkness that his hair cast, throwing that half of it in shadow.

_ “You know…” _

She hadn’t, not when he’d said that, the night in the kitchen. It had taken that look to make her realize just how much she was changing things for him.

He must have seen the recognition in her eyes, because he began to nod slowly, before immediately getting to his feet, and clearing the few steps to the landing with a bit of a thump, he turned to head back towards the kitchen.

And then she heard him as he passed her, their heads almost level, but he didn’t look at her. His voice coming like crushed glass from his throat.

“Ya told me I would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and all feedback is welcome.
> 
> Hope you guys liked this one, it was one of my favorites to write :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh how the tables have turned - or get turned - whatever summary and stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all are so great! Thanks for everyone who leaves comments and kudos and reads and and well you get it. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.
> 
> Happy reading y'all!

**Chapter 7**

 

He  _ hated _ that damn woman.

Daryl immediately scoffed at the thought, not even being able to hold onto the idea for the time it took to go through his mind. He just had to accept the fact that what he’d decided while escaping with her from the hospital was still right. Beth had managed to get herself stretched all throughout him, and he couldn’t seem to shake her loose. 

Not real surprising since it’d only been a few damn days, but shit, did she always have to burrow into him like that? 

He prowled around the kitchen, jerking open drawers and cabinets that had already been searched, wishing to whatever higher power there may be (he was willing to get religious for it at this point) that a pack of cigarettes in whatever condition had somehow been missed the first go around.

He was sure to ignore the impulse to then slam the fuckers closed after each one offered him only barren disappointment. He didn’t need Rick, Glenn, or god forbid – Beth herself coming in here to see what the hell was going on. Everyone seemed a little too observant these days as it was, and right now Daryl was feeling even less chatty than usual.

_ If that’s even fuckin’ possible. _

He rubbed in agitation at the knuckles at the base of his fingers, back feeling too bare without his bow, hands fidgeting with the need to be doing something  _ other _ than fidgeting. As always half the problem with being mad at Beth was that he couldn’t manage for her to be the only one he was pissed at. 

He  _ could _ blame her nightmare for that hug that had him pressing her along the whole damn length of him. But would it be too much to ask if something about her could feel wrong other than the place her head was at right now? 

Damn girl felt like she’d been custom fitted to his frame, and he hadn’t been able to deny her whatever comfort she’d needed. Not when she’d come hobbling across the living room and into his hiding spot like she had those motherfuckers right on her heels.

But then the study…and there was  _ no _ goddamn excuse for that.

Hadn’t she been good? Swallowing down every little reaction her body had had while he’d worked at the stubborn knots in her back. And what the fuck had he done? Acted like it was some kind of sick challenge for him – wanting to see if there was another move other than running the heels of his hands along her spine to make her react.

He’d run the knuckles and tips of his fingers over every bit of her back, and finally admitting defeat, he’d resorted to doing what he had. And standing in this kitchen with the quiet of the house and woods around him, the relative safety of his mind, he could admit there’d been a part of him worried it wouldn’t work.

And what kind of sick fuck did that make him? Wanting a woman like Beth to make noises for him like she was writhing beneath him in a  _ much _ different setting than the one they’d been in? Was it the Dixon blood in him that made him want to corrupt the only innocent truly genuine person he’d ever met?

And that shit went for before  _ and _ after the dead decided to roam around.

Beth looked to him for protection, to keep her safe from the things trying to prey on her.

The thought made him nauseous, and the peaches he’d eaten threatened to make a quick and violent reappearance. Girl depended on him to be one of the only things she didn’t have to keep a guard up for, and it didn’t matter how misguided that fucking judgement call seemed to him – Daryl needed to get his shit together.

It was weird, and not half as scary as it should be, that he was having these thoughts at all. He hadn’t wanted anything like that from a woman in a long time, maybe even ever. His experience with females was only because of two things, hormones when he was younger, and Merle after he’d gotten over the first thing.

He fuckin’  _ hated _ being touched and that idea held a lot more traction than his earlier thought about Beth. And yeah it had to do with being smacked around by the old man, but with the women he had seemed to attract – they took one look at him and decided he must like it rough. Maybe he would have, Daryl considered, eyes looking blindly out one of the grime smeared kitchen windows, but he’d never gotten a chance to feel comfortable with them to find out.

They’d paw at him, dig fake fingernails into his shirt covered back, the scars underneath seeming to twitch uncomfortably. And they’d grab too hard too soon, kiss like they knew him, and moan harsh and dirty things in his ear while he just desperately tried to finish so that he could get away. 

He was probably twisted enough to get the feeling he got from just looking at Beth, tangled up into making it something physical. He’d be the first to admit he had no idea what this sensation rolling around inside of him was. And maybe he couldn’t blame himself for wanting to slide that glow along all the places that hurt, or he couldn’t have before, but Beth was a whole new animal now. 

His own animal felt about as haggard as it ever had – crawling and growling inside him until he didn’t know if it liked all this change or not.

The thinking part him sure as hell didn’t know how to take it. He glanced back at the kitchen door and muttered in irritation. He’d made a deal, and while he’d never been above welshing if he could logic and justify his way around it, he had a feeling she’d make him pay for it later.

His eyes narrowed as he turned to brace himself against a dust covered countertop, fingers flexing on the granite surface. People that’d built this thing here, hadn’t come from the area, he could feel it in his bones. Maybe one of the coasts, didn’t matter which, they’d had money, bought a tract of land in the Georgian woods not too far from the big city, and built their dream home only to have the world end.

He pressed a quick hard breath through his nose, now that kind of luck Daryl could understand. 

_ “Did ya miss me Daryl?” _

He shook his head angrily and shoved away from the counter, doing his best to go through the kitchen door without slamming the sonofabitch into the hallway wall. Why didn’t she just skip the small talk and kick him right in the gut? Hadn’t he tracked her country ass down? 

_ Fuck –  _

He really had to  _ admit _ that shit to her out loud? He thought people were always harping about how actions spoke louder and all that bullshit. His footfalls sounded too heavy and he immediately worked on calming his ass down, he couldn’t get into the habit of making so much noise. 

Wasn’t real healthy nowadays.

He couldn’t tell – once again – if he was more relieved or irritated to find her still sitting quietly where he’d left her. She could have done him the favor of going to sleep so he didn’t have to face holding up his end of the deal tonight. But no there she sat, eyes dead and mind clearly a million miles away, and Daryl had to stop himself from growling like an idiot.

Without a word he climbed the few steps to resume his prior spot and waited, she’d either wake back up to the land of the living or she wouldn’t. Either way this would give him a better leg to stand on that he’d done his part, wasn’t his fault if she’d decided not to carry through, who was he to say she was as disconnected as she looked?

Feeling shitty over his current train of thought he curled in on himself a bit, leaning forward on the step, back hunched and elbows resting on his knees, he began worrying the edge of his thumb with his teeth. 

Slow minutes passed, he’d been running his fingers repeatedly over the hair around his pursed lips and down his chin when he heard her finally shift behind him. Closing his eyes briefly, he beat down the feeling of relief when he heard her quiet voice from somewhere over his shoulder.

“I can’t reach you like that.”

The grunting hum didn’t manage to cover his annoyance of the situation he seemed to be constantly finding himself in since she’d been back. Wanting to touch and be touched without looking like or admitting to the fact that he wanted either of those things – ever. The urge was foreign and made him twitch like a yuppie prick, which was fucking obnoxious as hell.

“An’ my hands aren’t as strong as yours, so you’ll need ta’take your vest off.” She sounded apologetic, but he wasn’t in the mood to be accommodating.

Without moving back at all, he stripped the vest from his back, dropping it unceremoniously on the stairs in front of him, glaring at it as it made a slipping escape down the steps to the landing. She stayed silent for about a minute more before he heard a puff of irritation leave her lungs.

“Seriously?” He shouldn’t be such a pain in the ass. He knew more often than not he made things a whole lot more difficult than they needed to be.

But again, we wasn’t really in the mood to act in any other way.

And why the hell should he? Maybe Beth didn’t needle him vindictively, but she did pick at him almost nonstop from the start of them being stuck together. Couldn’t ever leave well enough alone, wanting to know what the hell was going on in his head. Wanted him to have faith, wanted him to talk, wanted him to use utensils and shit.

Always wanting him – always expecting –  _ something _ from him. 

Even if she wasn’t saying it.

She’d just look at him with those eyes of hers, and the reflection back at him was a much better man than the one he recognized, that he knew he was. And being a damn masochist, he’d find himself trying to be what he saw there in those shining blues of hers.

Even when they’d played that stupid drinking game at the moonshine still, he’d stuck to things that were neutral, travel, vacation, normal people shit. While that damn troublemaker seemed to be going for every private or embarrassing thing she could.

He’d just started looking at her different, more than just the last person he might see alive.

Hearing what she thought of him, someone whose experience revolved only around drunken mistakes and time spent locked up…Made him feel like a dumbass for thinking that anyone like her could ever see him as someone other than an ignorant ass redneck. It’d set him off real good, and he’d called that walker exactly what he’d been thinking about himself.

_ “Dumbass, come here dumbass!” _

He had about as much a chance being a regular person as the thing he shot and pinned to that tree did. So he’d done the only thing he could do, put his hands on her, never enough to hurt, he’d rather kill himself, enough to piss her off and scare her a little though. It was the only way to remind them both what the fuck he was.

Just an idiot redneck with a bow who couldn’t manage to die.

“Fine.” She snapped from behind him and he was slammed back into the present by the feeling of long toned legs sliding along the outside of his thighs before the warm center of her pelvis pressed against the middle of his spine.

“Fuck’re you doin’?” He snapped back at her, making a slightly undignified skootch and dropping hard onto the next stair down, even as his dick gave a twitch of interest. 

“ _ Well? _ ” She retorted angrily, and he felt two small hands light on the tops of his shoulders. “Can’t imagine why you’re wantin’ to drag this out.”

He scoffed, doing everything in his power not to wrench away. She wasn’t gripping onto him at all. Obviously she expected him to pull out of her hold and she was giving him all the opportunity he needed. 

He tried relaxing under her touch as he muttered into the quiet hallway, only the sounds of slight snores and the crackling of the fire filling the silence between them as she pushed experimental thumbs into the backs of his trap muscles. Shifted uncomfortably as he read the riot act silently to his overly active crotch, for fuck sakes they’d  _ just _ been over this.

He tried to think about anything else as she got her bearings. 

Who was on watch right now? Michonne and Sasha. What round of watch was he? None. Second night in a row. But Rick hadn’t wanted to hear Daryl’s protests once he’d gotten back from cooling off from his earlier conversation with Beth. 

Apparently bagging that deer earned him another free night of rest.

Too bad, he could have done with an excuse to cut this thing short. He was still wound up tighter than a virgin at an orgy –  _ Jesus fuckin’ Christ Dixon, really?  _ – but he hadn’t pulled out of her hold, so Beth was starting to feel more confident in her movements.

Her hands, so much smaller than his own, were surprisingly good at this, and while he depended on the strength in his grasp, Beth had seemed to settle on using her little balled up fists to make up for the lack of force. 

The flat part of her clenched digits moved in slightly jerking circles near the base of his neck. Her other hand was using his shoulder for leverage as she held on tight. She made little trips along the top of his back, switching hands at certain points and then starting over. 

And god did it feel good.

He had hoped to shut his mind down while she worked, but his body had been feeling pretty fucked up for a while now. Her attention to each square inch was too much for him to block out, and the sensations traveling down his back was like a long swallow of Jack while taking a hot bath.

He was grateful his vocal cords didn’t seem to have the same habits Beth’s did. He didn’t have the barest feeling that he was going to be making any kind of noise.

“Can I go lower?”

_ Hell. No. _

He nodded without a word, eyes sliding shut as prodding fists made their way slowly down his back. She’d lean into one fist, still with the same rotation, though it felt smoother now, before letting off and pressing in with the other hand, repeating the motion. He had never had anyone offer to give him a backrub, and  _ had _ they offered he’d have bit their fuckin’ heads off without question.

But right now? Under Beth’s hands? Well, he realized he was squarely and truly up shit’s creek without a paddle because there was no way if she were to offer this again would he be able to say no. She used her whole body to lean into the pressure she exerted with her fists, and even though he was sure not to make a sound he could understand her earlier inability to do the same.

He could feel his body lean back into her touch like it was trying to help her out, creating less distance for her to cover. He found himself running through reasons he could use in the future to get her to keep doing this without making things weird. Then again, he admitted as his chin finally dipped down to rest on his chest, Beth was the kind of person to do it just because he’d asked. 

But would he be able to ask?

Probably not.

Daryl was beginning to dread when she’d stop, it felt like it had been seconds and hours at the same time since she’d started. Her warmth along his back was reassuring and the quiet was nice as she methodically hunted down each balled up hunk of muscle and nerve in his back and rolled and pressed it into submission. 

Good lord the girl was so focused and meticulously working on him right now, and he could feel his body begin to heat with how damn attractive that felt. She was touching him like it was her life’s mission to eradicate any soreness or knots that might be trying to evade her search. His fingers began to curl against his palms. Feeling like they wanted to run over her in return, his pants slowly tightening, losing some of their bagginess.

“Do ya mind if I try somethin’ I saw on a movie once?”

_ Fuck yes I mind. _

“Nah g’on.”  His voice was half ragged as it cleared his throat and he fought against the urge to cough.

“Are ya sure?” She was leaning in closer, her breath barely moving the hair next to his ear. “I’d be hittin’ you, well not hittin’ but ya know.” And she bumped the flat of her fist into his back. “Or I could do this, but the angle isn’t great.” She continued, turning her hand into a blunted blade and knocking it with the same small force next to his shoulder blade.

“M’Fine, I know what yer talkin’ about.” He’d seen that shit before too, it looked ridiculous and he was getting ready to have a nice silent chuckle about it, when her small fists began to lightly pummel his back.

His whisper of a grin dropped as his mouth slackened just enough to let out a fuckin’ noise, and he swore at himself as he felt the speed and pressure increase, knowing she’d heard it too. Goddamn, it’d barely been anything at all, like a sigh that had caught too much traction. Meaty pattering noises filled the air and he felt a deeper groan rumble out, as his worthless ass body leaned farther back into her calculated assault.

Ah no he wasn’t just up shit’s creek – he was drowning in that motherfucker.

He hummed out a final appreciative note when her hands stilled, only to begin a much lighter rubbing over his now twitching muscles. Fuck sakes he felt like he could sleep for a year right now, that heavy warmth was there too, and his hands still clasped around the idea of the body at his back. But it was a looser want now, he felt like a liquid limbed jungle cat at the moment, and it was nice as hell.

After moving her hands up until she could press her thumbs along the back of his neck and into his hair, in a near perfect copy of what he’d done to her earlier, she finally stilled. Feeling the slight coolness that ran down his spine when she drew her hands back he was able to shake off the spell-like state his body had been in and his eyes opened, his chin rising off his chest.

“Ready for bed?” She asked, and her voice sounded sweet and happy, not even the slightest bit gloating, and he felt like a creep for the images  _ that _ question made appear.

“Yeah.” He grunted, feeling the word vibrate hard in his throat before he cleared it. “Thanks.” He then muttered, standing (adjusting quickly) and turning to offer her a hand up, flushing a little at the happiness he was greeted with when he did.

“Happy to.” She beamed at him as he helped her down the stairs. “Anytime.”

He couldn’t stop his eyes from flashing down to hers, trying to gauge just how sincere that offer was. She gazed up at him, hand still holding onto his forearm for balance, and he found himself resigned to the fact that this tiny blonde girl had gotten him somehow wrapped around her little finger. Even if he would never, short of straight torture, admit that to another living soul – hell, he wouldn’t even risk saying that shit to a walker.

After a silence that felt a little heavier than usual, the hairs on his arms standing like he was walking through the power plant outside of his old hometown again, Daryl nodded a bit to her offer and tried to ignore the brilliant smile she gave him in return.

No way in hell did this end any way but messy.

“Was thinkin’ a’ crashin’ in one of them chairs in the study.” He decided to share as a way to break the tension building in his newly relaxed body.

He watched as Beth leaned out to look into the living room and turned to look that way himself. Most people had chosen to stay downstairs next to the fire, the weather had been heating up but they never knew when a final cold snap could make the comfort of a bed suddenly unimportant next to the warmth of an open flame. 

There was hardly any room on the floor and Carl was wrapped around a snuggled up Judith on the cockeyed couch. Beth looked back at him and smiled again.

“Hope you don’t mind company.” He shrugged as she turned and, still holding onto his arm, they made their way back into the study. 

The light from the fireplace was beginning to go down a little and none of it could span the distance to the now nearly pitch black room. Making sure to leave the door open this time he got her settled before replying.

“M’used to yer snoring by now Greene.” She seemed unfazed by his teasing, making a slight face at him as she carefully brought both feet up to rest on the low coffee table.

“Probably about as used to I am of your smelly butt  _ Mr. Dixon _ .”

“Tchuh.” He scoffed, plopping heavily into the other chair, slowly and deliberately placing his hands behind his head to show how much he  _ didn’t _ care if his smell irritated her. “Ya love it girl, hard work never smelled so good.”

“Oh is that what it is?” She asked wide-eyed as she clasped starkly white hands over her stomach, laying her head against the back of the chair and fixing him with a grin. “Here I thought it was old sweat and deer guts.”

“Pfft.” He pushed out a derisive breath through his lips, shifting down a little farther to find a more comfortable spot. “Basically the same damn thing woman, don’ you know nothin’?”

She raised her hands in surrender, soft smile still in place as she brought her arms to hug around herself, pale arms curving in the darkness. “My mistake.”

Where the hell had her sweater gone?

“Ya cold?” He asked, stomach half clenched to get up when she shook her head in reply.

“No. I feel just fine.” And her eyes reflected off light he swore wasn’t there, but it didn’t matter because blue like a mountain stream winked and sparked at him through the dark and he felt himself settle back into place.

The quiet was peaceful, and his body hadn’t felt this good since he couldn’t exactly remember when, and after waiting for Beth’s breathing to even out, he closed his eyes and dropped off almost as soon he did.

He slept hard without dreaming, something like a miracle for him these days.

The first grey lights of morning seeping through the study’s blinds had his eyes snapping open. Taking a quick look around him, he took in the sight of the quiet room, the motes of dust filtering through the weak light, and Beth. She lay half propped against the leather of the overstuffed chair, blonde hair a tangled mess at the back of her head. Pale skin was reflecting the small amount of light hitting it back into the room. 

Arms clenched around her thin midriff, shirt so faded it was a near-dead kind of yellow, barely resembling the cheerful cloth she’d found at the golf course that day. Her arms had pulled at it until a small silvery path of flesh showed between hem line and jean ridge and his eyes trailed across it way too fuckin’ long before he could pull them away.

She might have him wrapped up real good, but it didn’t have to make him a nasty fucker that watched her while she slept, that thought about running a fingertip or two over that smooth looking bit of heaven. 

Fuck – he didn’t even know what the hell this feeling  _ was _ .

Maybe she didn’t mind him hugging her, or helping her ease sore muscles, but there was no way in hell that he thought for a minute the knowledge of him wanting her…Of him looking at her in any other way than the rest of their family did, well, it wasn’t a real far leap to know that Beth knowing that would send her right over the goddamn edge.

There was no way he was gonna let that happen. Not to Beth, she wasn’t stuck with what those bastards had tried to make her. He’d seen little snippets of who’d she been before, and if she could, if she wanted, to be that person again, he sure as hell was going to do everything possible to get her there.

His eyes cut back to her as a small tremor ran through her arms and chest, her head ducking to try and snuggle some more warmth from the threadbare yellow wreck of a shirt. 

Savagely holding in a string of muttered curses, he rolled soundlessly up onto his feet, stopping briefly in surprise. Sure his knees and arms still felt like they’d had the shit kicked out of them but his back felt looser than it had in ages.

Shaking his head he moved across the slightly creaking floorboards towards the living room. Rummaging unceremoniously through one of the packs he growled when he realized all the blankets had been grabbed up by the others in the group.

Finally finding the girl’s damn sweater, he snatched it up and immediately headed up the steps two at a time. Peeking into each of the rooms he found a similar blanket situation, and unfortunately in the last room he got an eye full of Abraham’s bare ass – effectively killing his will to live.

Muttering darkly, he turned to the last door in the hallway, remembering it had been full of an unnecessary number of towels in a shit ton of different sizes. It’d make a piss poor blanket but Beth was small enough, she could probably get decent use out of one of those ridiculously sized beach towels if he could find one.

Jerking open the door he tossed unlikely candidates onto the floor at his feet. Starting to become even more irritated, and about making peace with the fact that he was only going to be able to cover her with the ratty sweater that was barely in better shape than the shirt on her back, he pulled one of the last towels up to see it unroll a handful of times.

Nodding in satisfaction he tossed the gaudy ass thing (pink and yellow stripes) over his shoulder and made his way back down the stairs and into the study. She hadn’t moved an inch and he carefully laid first the sweater, and then the fully unfurled towel along her body. It reached a good ways down her slim legs, ending right at her ankles. She stirred some, and he froze still above her, waiting patiently as she dug her face into the new fabric covering her.

Satisfied that he wouldn’t wake her up by moving, he straightened and took a step towards the door only to freeze again, Glenn stood there, arms hanging loosely along his sides, eyes focused intently right at him. Daryl frowned in return, what the hell was he doing up? He hadn’t been on watch either, and Glenn hadn’t been known as much of an early riser.

Casting a quick look back at a peacefully sleeping Beth, Daryl made his way out of the room. Glenn backed up enough for Daryl to half close the sliding door to the study before jerking his head to have the other man follow him out of the house. Stooping for a minute to pick up his bow, he lifted it over his head before opening the solid piece of wood.

At least the rich folks from before could afford quality lumber for their shit.

Walking out the door they both gave a quick nod to Carol who was on watch and who nodded back to them before going back to scanning the surrounding trees.

“C’mon, gotta take a piss.” Daryl rasped out through twenty plus years of smoking, coughing a bit as he made for the cover of some nearby bushes.

“And I have to come for this why?” Glenn questioned lowly, nevertheless falling into step beside him.

“Figure ya had somethin’ t’ say.” Daryl shrugged, flicking a glance at the younger man who seemed overly focused on his treading steps. “’Less you jus’ like watchin’ women who ain’t yer wife sleep.”

“I was watching  _ you _ .” Glenn argued, moving a little ways away as both men began relieving themselves in the relative privacy the greenery allowed.

“Gonna tell ya right now that doesn’ sound any better.” Daryl replied, but he felt a smirk pull up a corner of his mouth as he heard Glenn sigh.

Zipping his fly and starting to walk back to the house he glanced over as his friend caught up with him. Glenn peeked a few sideways glances at him, a handful of times, before Daryl stopped and caught him by the shoulder so they faced one another.

“Hell’s goin’ on with you?” He asked, about as nicely as he knew how, him and Glenn had been watching each other’s backs for a while now and Glenn acting squirrely wasn’t nothing new but there was usually a reason behind it.

“Nothing.” 

_ Christ he is still a terrible liar. _

“Fine, ya tell me or not I don’ really give a shit but quit givin’ me the side-eye.” His voice was a bit harsher than he’d meant it, but it’d been a while since he’d felt out of the loop. “’Cause yer irritatin’ the piss outta me.”

He watched as Glenn seemed to come to some kind of conclusion and finally nodded, a slow grin appearing that made Daryl feel even more uncomfortable than the idea of the guy keeping shit from him.

“Well you just emptied the tank so no real concern for either of us there.” Daryl scoffed as Glenn cocked his head back towards their recently vacated bathroom.

_ If it was pressin’ or dangerous he’d tell me. _

Coming to that easy conclusion he turned to head over to the vehicles out in front of the house. The guy was probably just nervous about the trip to Noah’s, Glenn never felt comfortable taking people he didn’t know for sure could look out for themselves. And probably as far as he was concerned they were taking not one but two people like that.

He yanked his mind from going on a side trail concerning Beth and didn’t say a word as Glenn continued to follow him to where their possible forms of transportation waited.

“You need any help getting these going?” 

Daryl nodded at the offer, Dale had made the guy a half decent hand when it came to engine maintenance, or at the very least he could trust Glenn not to totally fuck something up.

“First thing we need is this bastard over here.” He motioned at the ugly ass SUV, looking along its tires for any flats.

“This gonna fit all of us ya think?” Glenn asked, arms crossed, one eye nearly closing as he looked at the vehicle with a slightly cocked head. Daryl knew the man hadn’t been the least bit surprised when he’d been volunteered into going with them to the community when they reached Richmond. Glenn was usually on any type of run they made.

Daryl hummed an answer, trying the doors and finding them unlocked. His lips were pursed as he looked through the regular spots for the keys, finding the damn things in the visor.

Fuckin’ people astounded him. 

Sliding in the ignition key he cranked and raised his brows when the engine almost turned over on the first try. Maybe the damn thing wasn’t going to be the pain in the ass he’d been thinking it was going to be. 

Wouldn’t that be a nice little change of events for once? Snorting at his own idiocy, Daryl reached down and popped the hood. Jumping out as Glenn yanked the heavy panel of metal up, propping it open, and the two looked over the engine.

“Hey Daryl.” Something in Glenn’s tone had the hunter turning his head to watch him.

“Yeah?” His brows furrowed, eyes squinting, and he ran an agitated tongue tip along slightly curled in lips, Daryl just really wished the man could either spit out what was obviously gnawing at him or cut it the fuck out. 

Either one would be  _ real _ great.

“You think Beth’s gonna be alright?” And the way Glenn turned most of his body towards him – had Daryl thinking he’d been expecting some kind of fight for voicing the concern. “I mean like really?”

He was able to hold the dark gaze for a while, but Daryl was the first one to look away. He fought the urge to bite either at the inside of his mouth or the side of his thumb, knowing such nervous habits wouldn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence. 

“Think if anyone’s got a chance to it’s her.” He finally said, feeling that that was the best way to get across what he’d been thinking almost nonstop since Grady. He looked back to Glenn, wanting the other man to know he wasn’t just saying shit to say it. “Beth’s tough, f’she’s wantin’ t’ get through this she will.”

And there it was.

The if.

_ If _ she wanted to.  

Far as he was concerned, Beth could get through, become, achieve, any goddamn thing she wanted to. She wanted to be a fighter? Girl would kick ass and get kicked until she could whoop anyone that stepped to her. She wanted to be a tracker? A hunter? Hell, he’d started teaching her before they hit the funeral home and she’d taken to it like a bird to flight.

She wanted to get back to the person that made a home out of a prison, became a mom to a motherless child, and who gave hope to a faithless piece of shit redneck? 

Then that’s exactly what she’d do.

_ “I wish I could just…change.”  _

“And if she doesn’t want to?”  Movement caught his eye, and he paused before answering, watching as Maggie and Beth made their way haphazardly as fuck down the stairs of the house.

He nodded to her when she waved blearily at him, hair a cockeyed mess, sweater pulled tight against the morning chill, and for some damn reason that heinous yellow and pink striped towel hung around her shoulders like a bulky scarf.

Why the fuck hadn’t she left that stupid thing inside, what was she afraid of? Someone stealing it from her?

Watching them until they hobbled out of view, Maggie’s arm slung along her back, Beth’s arm curled around Maggie’s shoulders, he turned his gaze back to Glenn who had been watching the pair too.

“Guess we’ll learn t’ deal with it.” He shrugged, hands going to hang onto the strap of his crossbow.

“Even if her not wanting to be alright means she ends up dead?”

Daryl’s hands convulsed around the material in his hands, clenching until his knuckles creaked below the skin. His face immediately turned into a scowl as he looked at the other man. Had Glenn lost his goddamn mind? That’s not what Daryl had been talking about at all.

How did that shit not go without question?

“ _ Fuck no _ .” He ground out finally, breathing through his impulse to start yelling and maybe even hitting shit, mad that her brother-in-law had even had the nerve to say it out loud.

Sure, Daryl was able to worry about it, about her not making her way back. Wonder if she even  _ wanted _ to live anymore, be pissed off and erratic because the way she acted half the time made him believe that she didn’t.

But only  _ he  _ was allowed to do that shit. Just like she was allowed to call him out for being a stubborn ignorant ass who couldn’t leave well enough alone. He didn’t know exactly when, but one way or another he’d gotten closer to that woman more than he had anyone else living. 

_ And how the fuck had that happened? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have a bit of a parallel between Daryl's thoughts at the end here and Beth's at the end of chapter four because Daryl as always takes some talking into when it comes to admitting feelings, even to himself, of any kind.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and as always any feedback is welcome :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the group takes a road trip, Beth makes a find, and Daryl tells a fib.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always you guys are so great thank you all for the support. Like I told a couple of those who commented last chapter, this one is super long so I hope that's ok and that it doesn't drag or anything. 
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 8**

Beth rode quietly in the back seat – her eyes mildly glazed over as she watched the country side go passed her window in one long smear of greens and browns. A few days, car repairs, and removed stitches later, and they were on their way to Virginia.

Everyone had been so impressed with Daryl and Glenn getting the cars running again, but Daryl had kept a perpetual frown on his face whenever it got brought up. Beth got the feeling he didn’t trust this run of what he considered too good of luck they’d been having. 

Maybe he thought it started with her, she’d narrowly been saved from dying, they had left Atlanta without further incident, then there was the deer, the house, and now the cars. He’d been tenser than normal, and she could tell he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For her part Beth just tried to stay out of his way. It was a lot more difficult than she’d expected it to be, having had close contact with him for several days, not being in his back pocket felt unsatisfying. He either hadn’t noticed or hadn’t said anything and neither of them broached the topic of backrubs to the other.

He was probably grateful for the break, all that interaction had probably made him feel like he was about to overdose on affection or something ridiculous like that. After being allowed to touch him and having him do the same to her, in comparison to the moody hunter, Beth felt like she was going into withdrawals.

_ Not that I have any idea what that’s actually like.   _

She reasoned logically, blinking away from the window to glance forward and to the right of her, looking at his face not fully in profile as he sat in the front passenger seat. She calmly realized she was doing it again, wrapping that hazy detachment around her, taking deep breaths she tried focusing on Daryl for something to pull her back into herself. This had been an ongoing exercise over the last few days and she was getting a decent handle on it.

She’d been trying to stay on top of it herself and was doing fairly well, but it certainly helped that whenever it happened she’d find a certain taciturn individual glowering at her. That was a hard to miss helpful hint for her to snap the heck out of it. It was nice being able to use Daryl’s effect on her to fight this stupid thing. It would have been a longer process without so good a tether.

And he without a doubt had an effect on her.

Rubbing his back that night had felt cathartic somehow, and hearing those humming grunts he’d made near the end was uniquely satisfying and rewarding. It also made her want to slide down another step and press herself flush against his back again. But considering how he’d reacted, like a scalded cat, she’d carefully restrained herself. She’d  _ also _ been sure not to say anything, knowing he didn’t need a reason not to allow for the experience to repeat itself.

She was determined for it to repeat itself  _ many _ times.

Waking up covered in that delightfully colored towel had made her feel like she’d just gotten flowers and a stuffed animal from the guy she was dating. Which was maybe jumping the gun a little, but she couldn’t help it. Every time he didn’t pull back after they’d shared some mildly intimate experience was like a little miracle to her.

So for those few days following, she’d smiled at him brightly, asked him how things were going with their transportation, brought him food and water when Carol hadn’t already, and basically acted as normal as she possibly could. 

When her stitches had indeed begun itching, she’d gone to him first to ask if he could take them out, since he’d been the one to bring it to her attention while they’d been eating the deer. But when he’d hesitated uncertainly she’d told him not to worry about it and had gotten Maggie to remove the row along her cheek.

The fourth day after the fireside deer luncheon and the his and hers backrubs, which was today, she’d woken up with that now familiar tickling along her brow line. This time when she’d mentioned it to him he’d stared at her for several quiet moments before nodding and motioning her to follow him with a jerk of his head.

They’d walked silently out to the newly loaded and running SUV, and opening up the back doors fished out the first aid kit they’d found in the trunk of one of the cars. 

She’d sat carefully after pushing one of their packs out of the way. She then fought off a blush when she almost found herself opening her legs to offer him closer leverage, thank God he saved her the embarrassment that would have caused by pressing the outside of his right thigh to hers. And leaning in carefully – began clipping at the black weaving in her brow.

He’d gotten about halfway through before stalling, she couldn’t really get a good look at him, and had to wait uncertainly until he began moving again. His movements were slightly more hurried now, but he never tugged before snipping the stitch he was focused on, never poked or left a single nick with the scissor’s edge. 

She’d been about to start up a conversation about the upcoming trip, or about the seating arrangement, something to get him talking a little. But there was a tightly contained energy coming from his movements now and she knew not to say anything. When he finished removing each threadlike piece he all but threw the small surgical scissors back into the case – the metal clanging surprisingly loud in the small space, he then got the antiseptic out and as gently as Beth had ever felt, dabbed it along the shining flesh.

He’d cradled one side of her face to tilt it up towards him for a better advantage, and Beth swallowed down her sigh at the warmth seeping into cheek bone and jawline. She could finally see his face clearly and knew she’d been right. His face was completely blank as the hand holding the Peroxide soaked cloth landed lightly over and over again back and forth on the puffy ridge.

When he stopped, his eyes trailed down to hers, and she smiled unsure at the sudden change in him. Their eyes had held a moment before his hand recoiled and he was straightening up, nodding to her once before packing up the kit.

She’d half whispered a thank you to him before making a quick exit, maybe working on her face made him think of the hospital and it upset him. Beth couldn’t blame him if that were the case, Lord knew every time Grady crossed her mind she’d more often than not spiral into oblivion for however long it took her to get a hold of herself.

“You’re staring pretty hard there Bethy.” Her sister’s voice in her ear made Beth jump, she’d had her eyes on Daryl this whole time, and if the slight discoloration to the normal shade of his tan was any indication – he was fully aware of it.

Beth ducked her head, cutting her eyes to Maggie with a look bordering mortification on her face. Her sister was biting into her lower lip in order to keep her smile from becoming out of control, or maybe to keep any laughter at bay. After a few moments more of wanting to sink through the floor boards of the SUV she leaned in when Maggie made it back to her ear.

“Don’t worry too much about it sis, if he didn’t want you lookin’ he’d have said somethin’ instead of sittin’ there turnin’ colors.” Beth’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she guessed Maggie did have a point. Daryl didn’t have a problem with vocalizing his displeasures at the very least, even if he was near speechless when it came to anything else.

Turning her head to breathe out her reply, Beth still worried he could hear her somehow. “Best not let him hear you say that.” For one thing, she knew she blushed just as often or more than he did, and for two, if someone teased him for not snapping at her about how she’d been staring at him he may feel the necessity to do so in the future.

And carefully staring at Daryl without him knowing was her new favorite pastime, heck even  _ with _ him knowing sometimes. She’d noticed if she smiled brightly enough at him when he did happen to look over and catch her mid-gawk, he’d usually just give her a head jerk of a greeting and go about his business.

“No,” Maggie corrected just as quietly, “what you didn’t want him to hear was what I said a few days ago.” 

Beth’s face immediately heated up and she acted on Daryl’s behalf and shot a quick glare at her sister’s smirking face before quickly turning her head back towards the window. She most definitely did  _ not _ want Daryl to know what Maggie had said, he’d probably refuse to get within a quarter mile of her if he did.

That day thoughts of Gorman pushing a lollipop into her mouth, his hands under her shirt, heavy breathy words in her face, had effectively killed her appetite. But Daryl wouldn’t hear it, getting almost – playful – in his attempt to get her to eat her food. She’d been thrown off by his sudden shift in emotion, and her sister had attempted to shake her out of this the best way Maggie knew how.

Being both shocking and inappropriate in order to get a rise out of Beth.

She’d leaned in much like she just had, and whispered so quietly it had even evaded Daryl’s owl-like hearing. 

_ “Man just put his meat in your hand, ya gonna put it in your mouth or not?” _

To say the very least, Beth had almost choked on her own spit as she shoved her sister with her shoulder, only half-jokingly. It seemed like Maggie being an audience member to whatever this thing going on between her and Daryl was – it meant she could look forward to a lot of humiliating blushes – that was for sure.

For all that though, Maggie’s words had done the job she’d set them out to do. Beth’s mind and body had snapped into focus, and she’d felt like the resounding flush started in her spine, right between her shoulder blades, before coursing down her arms and up her cheeks.

Her cheeks still feeling warm, Beth kept her gaze averted from any of the others in the car. Rick driving, Daryl riding shotgun, her, Maggie, and Glenn in the backseat made up the first car in the line of vehicles. 

Behind them the others trailed in a line, there were four vehicles total, it had taken that many to fit them all comfortably not to mention the supplies they’d scavenged from the house. Michonne, Carol, Judith, and Carl were in the car directly behind the SUV that Beth was currently riding in. Tyreese, Sasha, Tara, and Noah were in the car behind that and the others had piled into the last car and were bringing up the rear.

It felt both comforting and nerve wracking to have this many of them on the road at the same time. If there was a lesson they’d all learned since the end had started, it was that the walkers weren’t nearly as dangerous as the humans that were trying to survive them.

Daryl had liked the chances of the cars being able to make it to Richmond, but he didn’t know how much longer they’d last after that. And according to him, something the rest of them were fully aware of too, it wasn’t the cars lasting but the group being able to keep them fueled up that was going to be the real issue.

They’d almost made it out of Georgia when they came across a small town, so small it looked like both the people and walkers had moved on from it a long time ago. Out behind the local gas station they found a few junked or towed vehicles within a high fenced off area. 

“This’d probably be our best place to rest for the night.” Rick observed, slowing and turning in towards the high fence gates. 

“This soon?” Glenn asked leaning forward, confusion clear with his furrowed brow.

“Good place to scavenge and rest up, we can stow the cars in here.” Rick motioned towards the fencing in front of them, eyes scanning every direction around him.

Beth could see the narrow set to Daryl’s gaze, and she knew she should be looking around too, and not just at the man in the front seat, but it  _ was _ her favorite pastime, and with so many of them to look around – chances were that she wouldn’t see something that five of them didn’t see first.

Glenn jumped out from his side after he got the go ahead. Someone had done them the favor of already busting the heavy lock on the chain that fastened the gate closed haphazardly. One by one the group pulled their vehicles in, parking them at random around the small lot. The last to walk out, Abraham secured the chain loosely, the group deciding they didn’t want to chance taking too long to undo it in the case that a quick getaway was necessary.

And really these days, when wasn’t it necessary?

Beth’s ankle was quickly recovering after being able to mostly stay off it for as long as she had. She barely depended on her crutches anymore, and was hoping by the time they got to Richmond she wouldn’t need them at all. Walking into the gas station after it had been cleared she quickly boosted herself onto the front counter next to the dark and dead register. She watched as people went through the store inch by careful inch.

As far as she could see everything had been well picked over a while back. Not surprising, small towns were looters favorite places to scavenge, most all of the same selection, half the walker worry, all bundled into a postcard worthy environment. Feeling a little useless resting quite comfortably on her rear end she looked around the area she was sitting on, not really expecting to find anything.

Curious, she twisted around and lay flat on her stomach, leaning forward to get a look at what lay on the cobweb covered shelves that lay on the backside of the counter. There were darkened objects clear in the back of one, and reminding herself that a walker couldn’t fit back there she began reaching and grasping her way back.

Gritting her teeth when she felt a couple years-worth of webbing slide through and cling to her hand and arm, Beth reached as far as her contorted body would allow. Rasping out a sigh she shifted forward more, balancing her weight on her hip and twisting and scrabbling, was able to land her hand on the objects in the back. Just as her quivering stomach muscles gave out and she let out a yelp falling forward. 

A hand clamped hard on her good ankle and Beth was able to use the register to haul herself the rest of the way back, taking a glance at what her other hand was wrapped around she grinned. 

“Hell’re you doin’ girl?” Keeping her one hand behind her back she smiled at him sweetly, Daryl’s expression went distrustful so fast it made her want to boot him in his thigh that rested against the leg he’d just released.

“Who’s your favorite person?” She questioned, eyebrows raising, smile growing as he leaned a little away from her, suspicion clear in his narrowed eyes.

“Lil’ Asskicker.” He said without much of a pause, she squinted her eyes at him, head tipping to the side a little – waiting. “Whad’d ya get?” His lids were so slitted she wondered if he could actually see through them at all.

“I’dunno.” She murmured shrugging a little, feeling as her smile turned devilish. She could see his lips thin, the slightest uptick of one side, and in her head she counted that as getting him to smile. 

His sparking eyes were her only warning before he nodded with a quiet, “Oh yeah?” And the hand that had stopped her from going over was vising around her ankle again, but this time he tugged her forward until her butt skidded to the very last inch of the counter’s edge. His left hand snaking behind her, making a grab for what she held behind her, but Beth had expected him to try something along these lines and had shuffled her prize to her other hand which she now held above her head and leaned away as far as she could.

Looking up he spied what she’d found, and she heard a breath shoot from him in surprise before she heard him mutter. “Fuckin’ Christ.” 

Being a little too far along in the apocalypse to be shocked by his language, her smile only widened as he made another grab at her hand with his right, dropping her ankle to do so. Laughing, she braced her shin against his chest, trying to keep his longer reach from dragging her arm down.

“You owe me.” She bargained, latching onto his outstretched forearm, feeling his left curve around her back to pull her closer, trying to force her shin to slide off his chest. It did, and suddenly Daryl was pressed in between her thighs, arm stretched up, her hand digging into the muscles of his forearm. 

He struggled against her for half a heartbeat more before he stopped very suddenly and his eyes were so bright when they met hers, their blue so vibrant, it was like she was looking into the waters of some untouched tropical dream. The heat of him washed over her in waves and rolling bands of energy as she realized all the many places they touched.

Not wanting Daryl to freak out because of something that had started as a joke she held his eyes, hoping hers stayed as clear as possible, the smile on her face still bunching her cheeks.

“You. Owe. Me.” She reiterated slowly, waiting for him as he took time to trail quick eyes along her face before he nodded and she dropped her arm allowing her bounty to slide into his palm.

Daryl held the two packs of cigarettes reverently and she briefly wondered if she was ever going to be able to receive such a look from him, her smile still stayed firmly in place. He took a slight step back, not as quickly as she’d thought he would, and she as nonchalantly as possible pressed her pulsing thighs together, trying to get her heartrate under control.

“Don’t think there’s nothin’ I could do t’ pay this back.” He said with such a straight face, another laugh huffed its way out of her.

_ So many ways to answer, but all of ‘em would send him runnin’ like a hare. _

“Ya saved me from chokin’ on a bullet not too long ago Daryl, maybe we could call this even?” Bringing up Grady was probably a bad move, but she was too busy trying to achieve a good amount of friction where she sat without him noticing to think her comment all the way through. “Since they mean so much to you and all.” She finished, voice lightly teasing as his gaze snapped up to hers.

“That don’t count.” He argued immediately and his earnest expression made her catch some of the flesh inside her bottom lip between her teeth, and she knew her eyes were probably going a little over bright.

“G’on then.” She motioned to the front door with her head. “I’m sure somethin’ll come to mind, you just wait, an’ I don’t wanna hear any grumbling from you when I call in my favor.”

His eyes dropped to the packs in his hands and her brows knit when he didn’t beat feet out the door to smoke. His lips pursed a little as he considered something.

“Want me t’ rub yer back?” He asked finally, eyes flicking up to hers through his long dark strands of hair and just as suddenly away.

“ _ No _ , no way.” He froze at her words and Beth felt herself almost tripping over her teeth to finish. “We already got a bartering system for that an’  _ don’t _ you forget it.” He tipped his head to the side a little still not looking at her, lips twitching and she felt oxygen fill back into her lungs.

“Ya wanna?” She had to pull her lips together after they parted at the look he gave her when his eyes finally found their way back up to hers. Gaze locking her into place, tropical blue bleeding into darker hues that flashed a heat far more urgent than an easy summer day. 

He wasn’t talking about anything other than back rubs. 

Nice. Innocent. Mutually beneficial. Backrubs.

She felt a shuddering throb between her thighs that seemed to argue against anything that had just rumbled out of him while  _ that _ look was in his eyes, being anything completely innocent.  

“’Course.” Her voice rasped and trying to ignore the way it scraped out her throat – she acted like it wasn’t there. “When?”

He squinted his eyes while he was thinking, and Beth tried not to get overly excited, her heartbeat ticking right back up after she’d just gotten it settled.

_ Goodness, ya’d think we were sneakin’ off to kiss or somethin’. _

“I got first watch tonight. Mind if we do it after?” Daryl’s voice was doing that low warm sandpaper sound, which shouldn’t make any sense – any more than the way her brain was twisting the meaning of his words into something breath hitching and erotic, but it was one of the quickest ways to get her pulse jumping.

Proof lay in the point along her throat that twitched and fluttered.

“Sounds like a plan.” She managed with a smile and he nodded to her once more before making his way out the front door. 

She didn’t worry about him finding a way to get one of those cigarettes lit. If he had to she knew Daryl would reflect sunlight off a dang system of glass and mirror shards. No lack of readily available lighter was going to stop him at this point.

She watched as he dug around in his pockets and laughed when she saw him actually pull out a lighter from his hip pocket. Talk about being prepared, the man must have been dying for some nicotine. Shaking her head fondly, she watched him light up and take a long slow pull. He held it for a moment and exhaled smoothly, and she felt a bit of irritation at how everything on Daryl Dixon looked sexy.

Dirt…Smoking…Blood…Grease…it just really did  _ not _ matter.

His head turned and she didn’t have time to turn her face away before he saw her looking at him. She watched, feeling a little tortured, as his tongue appeared to drag back across his bottom lip, before bringing the cigarette back to his mouth, eyes never leaving hers through his next exhale.

It was like there was no space between them at all.

She was getting lightheaded from his secondhand smoke. Pressure against her lips like his mouth was already there after he’d finished his last breath out. Warmth seeping into her cheeks where they nearly touched his, her tongue flicking out to run along sun chapped lips, tasting the tinging earthly bitterness of him as his mouth opened and he rolled his tongue against hers. Hips shifting to work against his, fit into his, as a muscle corded arm slung itself low across her back. 

Somewhere from the other side of the store Judy squawked in irritation, and Beth was able to blink away from whatever tractor beam that was in Daryl’s gaze. Trying to salvage something of normalcy, Beth gave him a thumbs up and an inquiring look. To which the man took in another impossibly long drag, tilted his head up to the sky and released the plume of smoke to the afternoon heat.

Dropping his head level he gave her a grin, a Daryl one, corner of his mouth tucking up higher than usual, eyes half closed in something other than a glare. 

Taking a steadying breath she figured it was time she check in on the others, help with dinner or something, anything to get herself calmed down in time for tonight. There was a slickness in her movements, thighs sliding passed one another offering little peaks of want that in no way were going to be seen to. If she didn’t get a handle on her body was likely to embarrass the both of them tonight.

Dinner was quick and simple, the regular passing around of various cans of food, people taking some things out for those on watch. Beth carefully stayed put when Carol asked if Daryl had gotten anything to eat, and Rick finally offered to take something out to him. 

She was pretty sure if anyone other than her sister got the idea there was anything going on between her and Daryl, even though there wasn’t anything yet – damn it – that said person would either purposefully or inadvertently bring it up to Daryl.

And that was to be avoided at all costs. She loved that warm sparking energy that settled along her skin whenever one of their looks lasted longer than it needed to. When they found themselves in close proximity and didn’t move away as quick as they could have, she was holding onto these things. 

Ridiculous as it might have sounded, she felt like she was making steady progress. And while they might have some idea that her and Daryl’s dynamic had changed somewhat, especially after that first backrub, she wasn’t looking to encourage any questions that might impede that steady progress. 

After dinner everyone began lying down for sleep and she did too, but it was little more than an act as she waited for Daryl to get off watch. Her current focus was to not let the quiet get to that stillness that always seemed to tug at the edges of her. She was getting better, that’s all that mattered.

She was running song lyrics through her mind, the tune playing without making it to her lips or throat, when she finally saw him come in and gently nudge Maggie awake. Her sister was sitting up with a yawn when Michonne came through the other doors, and not so gently kicked Stokes in the shins to wake him up for his turn.

Beth watched as Daryl squatted down next to Maggie and muttered something low to her, her sister’s eyes glanced over to the now yawning preacher and nodded. She got the idea Daryl wasn’t thrilled with having the man on watch with anyone he cared to lose, and wasn’t surprised that he was probably telling Maggie to keep an extra eye out.

He then went and sat down, propped himself against a nearby wall and waited, Beth’s eyes were on Michonne and both of them waited until the woman’s breaths evened out and then without a word they made it to their feet and walked towards the back office. 

No doubt used by the owner or manager of the small station, it contained a second hand desk and a few chairs. Closing the door behind them he motioned towards one of the chairs, but Beth was already shaking her head. 

“Uh uh, you sit.” They studied each other until Daryl made a derisive noise, and walking to one of the chairs, spun it around so he’d be facing the door, and the closest to any possible danger.

“Dont’cha trust me Greene?” He quipped, slinging off his bow and putting it on the chair next to the one he was sitting in for easy access.

“Hell no.” She answered immediately and heard him snort at her cursing as he shrugged out of his winged vest and held it in his lap. She came limping around him, placing her crutches carefully against the wall next to her as she began to somewhat greedily eye the man in front of her. 

Lord, but she wondered if he’d question her running her hands down the sides of his arms, biceps got sore that was a thing. She could rationalize that if he got snappy. Didn’t want the arms that were always having to knock that bow giving out did they? 

_ Yeah, I think I’m willin’ to risk it. _

Starting in the regular spot on his shoulders she began the now familiar movements and was able to start a conversation instead of just holding her breath, not having to worry about him jerking away or tensing up until her hands couldn’t gain purchase against the hardened muscle.

“Ya worried about bein’ bored while we’re on the road?” She sent up a quick ‘thank you’ heavenward for the lightness in her tone. 

He shrugged against her thumbs. It didn’t feel like he was overly anxious about her touching him again, but she could tell he was pretty watchful of that office door. Was probably thinking up plausible stories to tell anyone that came walking in and found Daryl Dixon allowing himself to be babied. And that’s basically what this was, no one was paying closer attention to him than she was, and he’d been moving smoothly and without complaint.

So this meant, she knew trying not to smile and failing, that he  _ liked _ her touching him. And not just a little bit either, he’d been the one to bring it up this time. She had to do her best not to get her hopes up that this meant they were on the threshold of something truly couple level substantial.

Because without thinking she knew that’s what they’d be if they ever could get to that point, this was the end of the world and maybe she didn’t need labels exactly – she wasn’t about to ask Daryl of all people to be her  _ boyfriend _ – she wasn’t looking to simply mess around with this man. If she were willing to give it up over not knowing how much time she had left, she’d have bedded Jimmy or Zach.

Beth quickly pulled away from that line of thought, that way lay monsters and she didn’t want to get herself freaked out about sleeping with Daryl.

Her hands skimmed out along his shoulders and brushed his exposed arms. She watched as the muscles jumped all the way down his arms until he was wrapping long fingered hands around the cheap wooden armrests and gripping until the skin shifted along his forearms, vest laying forgotten in his lap. Beth took a slow breath in through her parted lips, placing her hands where sun browned flesh met hacked flannel threading and squeezed.

When he was still silent she moved down a hands width so that her palms and the pads of her fingers rested completely against flexed bicep that sent heat coursing up the bones of her hands and arms. She tightened her hold again, running thumbs in little sweeping arcs as she did, trying to ignore the way her stomach muscles were cinching or how she suddenly was in need of shifting her stance behind him. 

Yeah thinking about sleeping with Daryl was definitely not the thing to be doing right now. Especially since Beth could tell from the stuttering pulse that had returned to the place between her thighs, that the idea wasn’t opposed by her body whatsoever. Opening her grasp she flexed her finger backwards as far as she could and ran her taught palms and the heels of her hands down until they brushed his elbows.

She made the track up and down the lightly bouncing give of his arms a few more times, each pass had her wrapping her fingers a little farther around, knuckles brushing the sides of his chest and nicking the tops of his ribs. Skin heating in her hands like slowly worked clay and Beth could feel the urge growing to place open mouthed kisses along each dipping line that wound from elbow to shoulder.  

This was dangerous – the idea flashed suddenly in her mind – and Beth swept trailing fingertips back up his arms to anchor onto the safety of his covered trap muscles. Getting a handle on her heated limbs and shifting her legs together again – she took a glance at his hands that were death gripping the chair, knuckles white and bones standing up from the skin.

She wanted to feel excited about that, he was definitely having a reaction to her, but that feeling couldn’t seem to take root because she wasn’t completely certain it was a good reaction. She’d known him for too long, seen him shy away from too many attempts of contact not to play it safe.

“You worried about it?” His voice growled and she paused for a moment trying to figure out if Daryl had acquired the ability to read minds like he did tracks. 

Then she remembered the question she’d asked him minutes and about fifty emotions ago and realized he was trying to talk about the trip to Richmond.

“About bein’ bored?” He nodded, and she began working her fisted knuckles along the side of his spine, leaning into the thick muscle. “No not really, I haven’t been bored in such a long time I’m kinda lookin’ forward to it.”

He scoffed a little and she saw some of the pressure be released from the armrest. “T’bein’ bored?”

“Dang right  _ t’bein’ _ bored Daryl Dixon. I know ya’d rather be shootin’ walkers with your bow than sittin’ still,  _ ever _ , but I’m gonna take advantage of it. Didn’t even bring one of the books from the house with me.” Her voice dropped off a little as she continued. “I’m determined to get a little peace in between the times we’re havin’ to fight, scavenge, or run for our lives.”

He was quiet for a little bit and then he slightly nodded, quietly showing his agreement, she continued her steady movements and was pleasantly surprised when Daryl kept talking.

“Still, can’ believe ya didn’ grab a book, leas’ one.”

“Yeah I know.” She smiled slowly, watching his chin dip to his chest as she moved lower on his back.

“’Course ya’d prob’ly pick somethin’ awful.” He mumbled and she dug stiff fingers into his sides making him grunt. 

“Ain’t nothin’  _ wrong _ with romance novels Daryl.” She hissed playfully, thinking back to what felt like another life, when he’d been looking for her daddy in the library and found her reading such a book with rapt attention and red cheeks.

They’d held gazes after she’d heard the door swing closed behind him, and he’d got done glancing at the not so subtle cover of what she was reading. He’d finally asked for daddy and Beth had blurted something about him being with Rick, which she didn’t actually know to be true or not. He’d nodded, his skin seeming to have gone a rosy tinge, before ducking out of the room as soon as he could.

And then he’d proceeded to lightly tease her about it whenever he was feeling particularly frisky.

He huffed now, rubbing his elbows into his no doubt stinging sides, as she went back to kneading the muscles of his back.

“Jus’ don’ get the point I guess.” He shrugged and Beth couldn’t help the shock that went through her at his observation. Was Daryl seriously pursuing a conversation about romance novels? Or was she stroking out right now?

“Well, I don’t know how many you’ve read Mr. Dixon, but they can be rather thrillin’.” She was glad he had his back to her, feeling the pricks of color begin to sting her cheeks, his broad shoulders rippling under her hands as he shrugged again.

“Buncha words on paper.” 

“Sounds like ya suffer from a poor imagination if ya ask me.” She teased, her smile turning devilish at his grumbled – 

“Didn’ think I did.”

“Ya see Daryl, for those  _ with _ imagination when it says stuff like, ‘And then she slid her fingers through his hair’ it isn’t just some words on paper, ya can feel it.”

To reinforce her point she lifted her hands from his back and grazed her fingernails from his temples back to his crown. His hair sliding between the spaces of her fingers, tickling her knuckles as it fell back into place. He’d straightened as soon as he felt the warmth touch his skin and sat frozen as she finished running her nails lightly down to the base of his neck.

Proud of her boldness and simultaneously terrified about his possible reaction, she went back to rolling safe circles into his back. He stayed stock still for about a minute as Beth tried not to let any nervousness tell in the fluid way she pressed into him. 

“Movies ‘re still better.” He finally said and she laughed quietly with relief, slapping his back, smile firmly in place as he stood to face her, vest gripped tightly in his hands. 

He motioned for her to take his spot and they sidled around the chair, but she wasn’t quite ready to give up this conversation and she had a sneaking suspicion he was trading places with her because he knew as soon as his hands were on her she wouldn’t be able to think, let alone discuss anything.

“You’re right, I did love a good rom-com.” And she beamed at him as he rolled his eyes at her stalling tactics.

“Christ, I ain’t never been so goddamn grateful for the end a’ the world before, thanks fer the reminder.” She loved the twang in his words and the friction texturing his voice, made her want to run skating lips along his throat while he talked.

“Just one more thing that makes ya happy to be killin’ walkers huh?” She crossed her arms, to keep them from doing anything he wasn’t ready for. He gave her a ticking smile and nod.

“Ya liked ‘em though huh?” He seemed embarrassed, like he shouldn’t want to know, and she nodded, smile turning wistful.

“Probably silly I know, but I did, the meet cute, the look back.”

“Huh?” He grunted, dropping the winged leather onto the desk behind him before leaning towards her, hands gripping the back of the chair between them as his hair fell over one eye.

“The cute way the characters would get introduced.” She explained to his narrow eyed look of confusion. “And the look back means love.”

“The wha’?” His expression made her suspect he thought she was making fun of him or making stuff up.

“Oh c’mon Daryl, there’s always that glance over the shoulder if the two are gonna get together.”

He looked down like he was seriously considering her words. “An’ if there ain’t?”

“Nope.” She supplied shaking her head, smiling at him again when his eyes rose. “Means they’re not meant to be.” This wasn’t actually a hard and fast rule for every film she’d seen but those had always been her favorite and she figured Daryl wouldn’t mind the omission.

“Sounds dumb as hell.”  _ Or maybe not. _ “What if one of ‘em isn’ payin’ attention an’ doesn’ see the damn look? Or what if the guy hasn’ watched a buncha shitty chick flicks an’ doesn’ know he’s suppose t’ do that?”

Her arms dropped from their crossed position on her chest as she laughed. “They weren’t shitty Daryl Dixon!” Her voice dropped a little, remembering it was late and people were trying to sleep not too far away. “Well, not all of ‘em anyway. An’ that’s the whole point, neither of them have to be told, it’s more like they can’t help it.”  

He considered her theory and all of a sudden that charged feeling danced along the hairs of her arms and down the back of her thighs and calves until she was curling her toes in her shoes. His eyes steady on hers and that chair didn’t seem like much space at all to lean over. His reactions to her, their talks, it had to mean more than just friends.

It had to.

Her sight dropped to his lips, watching as his jaw shifted around like he was rolling something around in his mouth. She wondered if his tongue was as rough as his speech or the uncallused parts of his hands. 

Meeting his eyes again she felt the air die in her lungs, that Caribbean blue had darkened down again to steel, and he hummed noncommittedly to what she’d said earlier. The sound caught along her ribcage and dripped down to pulse in her stomach and the apex of her thighs.

There was the barest breath of a noise behind her and Daryl’s head jerked, his eyes casting back over her shoulder. Beth turned carefully, still a little awkward on her bad ankle, to see a pale face with dark hair and dark eyes peeking through the crack of space the opened door allowed. Her stomach bottomed out as the impossible thought tore through her mind.

_ They found me. _

“The hell?” Daryl snapped when the person made no attempt to come in and instead disappeared from view. 

She moved out of the way as Daryl snatched up his bow and went pelting out of the room, there was a slight yelp and thud in the hallway after a moment and Beth quickly grabbed her crutches to see what was going on. Her fear and adrenaline subsiding only minutely from what sounded like a lack of violence or alarm.

“My deepest apologies.” She heard Eugene’s toneless voice before she saw him, slammed up against the wall by one flexed arm, Daryl glaring harshly, teeth bared.

“Fuck why’d ya go scamperin’ off ‘stead a’ comin’ in?” Daryl questioned, snarl receding as he realized there wasn’t a threat, releasing the man from his hold. “Thought we had some party crashers.” 

Beth had to admit she’d been scared about the same thing, the furtive way that the door had been opened and the man’s quick departure once they noticed, she could feel the adrenaline sharpening her senses.

“I thought I’d given the two of you adequate time to begin, but witnessing that this was not the case, chose to withdraw.” Beth straightened, suddenly tense, there was no way that he could mean that the way it had sounded.

“Begin what?” Daryl voiced her thought, but she saw the tenseness come back into his frame.

“Intercourse.” The toneless voice answered without hesitation. 

Beth was real glad she hadn’t made an effort to get to know Eugene, considering Daryl was probably about to – 

“You  _ motherfucker! _ ”

The hit connected with the voyeur’s cheek and Eugene crumpled with a cry that was rather piteous, and hitting the ground, he began a slow escape, assisted by Daryl who yanked him up by the back of his shirt and pants, throwing him forward a handful of feet into the floor.

There was a general commotion as the hunter stalked after his prey, the outstanding tendons in his neck visible as signs of his fury, thank goodness he’d dropped his bow in favor of pummeling the man instead of shooting him.

Most of the group plowed into one another in their attempt not to run over a cowering Eugene who was in the middle of getting another blow to the face before people were rushing forward to pull Daryl off of him.

Tyreese and Abraham helped the scientist wobbling to his feet, as Daryl was carefully pushed back until he stopped struggling to get at the other man.

“What the hell is goin’ on?” Rick snapped, one hand on Daryl’s shoulder in case the redneck decided to go for round two, the other was on his recently holstered gun. 

Beth watched as he threw a glare back at Eugene and was oddly pleased that Rick knew Daryl was beyond the point of lashing out without cause, or at least wasn’t about to take the other man’s side over his friend’s.

“Sombitch thought he was gonna get a peek a’ me fuckin’ Beth.” Daryl snarled, and she watched as the other person holding him back, Glenn, dropped one restraining hand to first look at Eugene, then Daryl, then back to where she stood. 

The blush ran down her face as many sets of eyes followed Glenn’s, only to jerk back to Daryl when he growled and shoved back away from the two holding him.

“I ain’t fuckin’  _ Beth _ -” She tried not to cringe at the way he spat the words at her brother-in-law who held up his hands to pacify the irate man in front of him. 

Of course he was going to say that, she took a quick moment to tell herself, even as sadness and hurt flooded through her. It was true, she told herself, as her throat locked up, and even if it weren’t, Daryl was hardly the kind to broadcast his business to the group. And that sound of disgust in his voice? Well, he had the whole bunch of them looking at him like he’d just been taking her up against some grungy gas station wall.

_ Yeah _ , she told herself as the tears tried to pool along the edges of her eyes,  _ that was it _ . 

“’Course not.” She piped up, all brightly false, blinking quickly as several eyes turned back her way, and Daryl’s head pulled quick to the side at the sound of her voice. “We’re in a gas station for goodness sake, I ain’t that kinda girl.” She was desperately trying to lighten the homicidal feeling in the air while also stop herself from crying in front of everyone.

There were a few strained smiles cast in her direction as Rick looked back to Eugene.

“I don’t care what was goin’ on in there.” Beth tried to stop her eyes from widening at their leader’s words. Did he really not, or was he just saying that? “We don’t spy on one another, especially during private moments, intimate or otherwise, not in this group.  _ Not ever _ .”

“Should’a let you folks know about Eugene’s little habit.” Abraham spoke up then, receiving many surprised looks. Rosita just rolled her eyes from beside him and turned to make her way back to the sleeping area. “He just likes to watch sometimes is all.” He explained, not looking that disturbed by the idea.

She was glad that wasn’t Daryl’s reaction, the idea of Eugene or  _ anyone _ watching the two of them while he…well no just no.

“Yeah?” Daryl rasped out and shrugged slowly passed the two men in front of him, hands pushing them to the side calmly enough that they let him go. Beth didn’t know if she agreed with their reasoning, considering the deadly tone she heard. “Well I  _ don’ _ like it, not what he was doin’, an’ sure as  _ fuck _ not what he  _ thought _ he was gonna be gettin’ an eye full of.”

Daryl came to a stop right in front of Eugene and the other man cowered from whatever look he saw there as Daryl seemed to loom over him.

“An’ I better never catchya lookin’ at her when she doesn’ know about it ya hear me?” 

Beth had stopped breathing, watching as Daryl got close enough to the terrified recipient of his rage that there was only a hair’s width between their noses. She couldn’t imagine having Daryl  _ that _ close when he was  _ that _ angry.

“I don’ care if she’s pickin’ berries or brushin’ her hair, you make yer fuckin’ ass known ya  understand? ‘Cause it happens ag’in an’ I see ya, you best get the holy man for last rights.  _ You hearin’ me boy _ ?”

“Y-yessir, I do. I am. I understand completely” Eugene stammered, unable to even nod his head less he touch foreheads with Daryl.

“Good now  _ git _ .” The ground out command was followed with a slight stumbling and then the sounds of a hurried retreat.

With that, many people began leaving, Beth saw Carol shoot them an entertained ghost of a smile, but she didn’t stay to talk to Daryl which was perhaps for the best because he stood still, breathing deeply like it would keep him from chasing the other man down.

After a few moments he turned, jaws still clenched, eyes so black she couldn’t believe they were ever blue. Rick and Glenn had stuck around and in the resulting silence Beth got the feeling it was best if she took this moment to leave. 

There was no way that he wasn’t going to pull away from her after this. It was exactly what she’d been trying to prevent. Feeling a constriction around her ribs, she began making careful swinging steps down the hall, dreading when she’d have to pass by him in the hall.

“Hell’re you goin’?” He barked and she came up short, watching in disbelief as he snapped his fingers and pointed back towards the room they’d been in earlier. “Ain’t finished with you yet.”

Her breath hitched and between the intensity in his gaze and the roughness in his voice, Beth had a  _ really _ hard time telling her body that he was not meaning that the way it thought he did. Flipping a quick glance to Rick and Glenn she saw both men giving Daryl raised brows.

“Girl found me two packs a’ smokes and bartered backrubs.” Daryl groused, looking all the world like he’d been shanghaied into a bargain he wasn’t willing to go back on but wasn’t real pleased about. “Crutches ain’t bein’ any easier on her.”

When inquiring looks turned to her she was able to nod and shuffle uncomfortably.

“Alright then.” Rick said with a small smile that could have meant anything from disbelief to wishing them a good night, and Glenn offered her a little wave before the two left the hallway.

She watched them leave and it wasn’t until she felt his heat that she looked over to see Daryl much closer than he had been. He motioned her towards the door again and she dazedly complied. 

“Pervert.” He muttered under his breath, once she’d gotten sat down and he was putting carefully controlled hands along her shoulders.

“Thank you, for, for tellin’ him what ya did.” She fumbled out, still too shocked to really appreciate the gift to mankind that was Daryl’s hands. “I’m sure he’s harmless, but after Grady…” She felt his fingers spasm slightly against her before he continued.

“He touches ya I’ll shove an arrow so far up ‘is ass ya can pull it out his throat.” 

She nodded without a word. She wasn’t too worried about Eugene being anything other than unsettling, and she was shaking off what Daryl had said, but maybe it was a combination of the things that caused her heart to feel like it hung so low in her chest.

“Ya lied to them. About our deal.” She stated, mostly for something to say, the silence in the room felt like it was pressing on her.

“Tchuh, nah, jus’ took a couple’a truths and stitched ‘em together.” He reasoned easily and a corner of her mouth tugged up a little.

“Oh.” She wondered if she were wrong about a lot more than she realized. 

Daryl wasn’t a liar, he’d tell you point blank he hated your guts if that’s how he felt. But maybe she just had never realized when he lied before. Maybe he wasn’t feeling anything more towards her, and it was all in her head.

“Don’ lie about nothin’ important.” He said quietly after a moment, maybe catching onto some of her thoughts because of her silence. “Ain’t a liar.” His voice was firm and insistent for all it was lowly pitched.

Reaching up she grasped onto a hand braced against her trap muscle while a thumb ran gentle circles at the base of her neck. She felt awful, of course he wasn’t, she  _ did _ know him and it was because she knew him that she had to go about things the way she did. She didn’t want him shutting down or backing off. 

Her head just felt all jumbled, unsettled, it wasn’t like her to go back and forth so violently in her mind, especially about things she knew as certainly as she did her own name. 

She just needed…

_ Patience _ .

“I know.” She answered him just as quietly and the two remained silent while he continued to work on her.

Her mind was full and she didn’t know when she’d started sighing out little humming noises as his hands pressed into her, but she was almost grateful for them, having a reaction to Daryl was more normal now than the oppressive silence that had filled the room before this. 

Daryl muttered something and Beth’s eyes snapped open, she couldn’t be sure but she could have sworn he’d repeated her words from earlier.

“Ain’t that kinda girl.”

And she must not have, because the way he’d said it, it almost sounded like he was trying hard to remind  _ himself _ of the fact. 

She made sure to hold the breath that tried to tattle on her, tried to tell him that she’d be more than happy to be  _ that _ kinda girl for him.

_ Be any kind he wants. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and all feedback is welcome.
> 
> I feel like I should also warn you guys that the next few chapters things are going to get bumpy but it won't last terribly long so just grit your teeth through it (like Daryl will be doing) and we'll all get to the other side no problem. :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is much travel, Daryl can't figure out how to think in a linear path, and dirty thoughts are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Y'all...real talk, you guys are freaking amazing and so supportive and I can't even deal with my feels for you all. And so I say this in not a - hey I'm looking for more attention please validate me - kind of way but a for real, if you read this chapter and kind of go what the hell? Just know as I was proof reading it, I was doing the same. Everything feels a bit hectic but there is a lot of travel and emotions so maybe that's it but anyway yeah heads up, rough seas ahead my peeps...shit that's along A.N. -.- anyway.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 9**

He was really starting to second guess his first estimation of what it was that Beth wanted from him. There had been some looks from her lately that felt a hell of a lot more heated than he could remember ever happening before. 

When they’d still been at the house, he’d felt her eyes on him almost any time they were within view of one another. He’d do his best to ignore it, but it made him clumsy, made him flush, made his body heat and his mind wander.

And when he’d lock eyes with her, she’d smile – like it wasn’t anything for her to be gazing at him like he wasn’t covered decent. Like it wasn’t nothing for her to be staring at him period. He should have told her to knock it the hell off, but of course he hadn’t.

Dumbass that he was, he  _ wanted _ her looking at him, and that was goddamn scary as hell. 

This trip was supposed to be a way for him to keep himself in check, because with her watching him like she was, he needed to be checked. Even if she was looking at him like…like he’d been looking at her. Only exception was he tended to be much more covert and didn’t have her tripping all over her damn self, left and right. If that were true, and she was having the same ideas he was, it still didn’t mean her head was in a good place, and he wasn’t willing to screw up anything when it came to Beth.

_ Hell. No. _

If the fuckin’ impossible had happened, and she was seeing him as someone she’d let run their hands over her for something other than backrubs, then  _ goddamn it _ he could wait until he knew for certain she was in her right mind. He’d gone this long without being with a woman, he could go equally long if it meant that when something  _ did _ happen it wasn’t going to do more to hurt her.

Plus the idea of the touching…like that…well…he could stand sometime to get used to it.

So far the traveling to Richmond had not done its job of keeping others close by to help him reign himself in. Didn’t help that when she’d accidentally wrapped her legs around him, it had felt like he didn’t know the body he was housed in. Suddenly he’d been desperate for an excuse to touch her it was, unsettling, but he needed some fuckin’ boundaries to make sure shit didn’t go too far, letting it change into  _ that. _

Into  _ that _ thing that kept running through his mind more and more, about seeing what other places he could touch that’d have her making those soft and sweet little noises for him. He’d never wanted that from anyone before, really didn’t think it was possible for him, not at this point.

He just couldn’t seem to shake her, couldn’t seem to even try.

Her watching while he had his first smoke in over a week, eyes working into him until she was right in his chest with the nicotine. But Daryl was willing to bet that smoking would be a hell of a lot easier to quit than that blue eyed imp. 

And then  _ that _ motherfucker – Daryl forced his lungful of smoke out, glaring back towards the gas station they were getting ready to leave. 

_ Fuckin’ peeper, tryin’ to catch a glimpse ‘a her perfect pale skin with nothin’ coverin’ it.  _

He shook his head angrily, taking another drag trying to calm himself.

That had been close. 

The way the group had looked at them when he’d explained what was going on. Even seeing nothing but red at the time, he could still make out the way they’d looked at her, at them, a blanket of shock. He had to admit to feeling surprise though, that the only expressions of uncomfortable disgust were reserved for that twitchy little fucker and not him or Beth. 

But he’d almost said too much when he saw those looks.

Like he’d have their first time be  _ there _ of all places, well within earshot of any of the family. 

His original sentence, the one that howled through his mind, and that he’d only just managed to cut short was – “I ain’t fuckin’  _ Beth  _ in no shitty gas station.”

He’d had to clamp his teeth together like a gnashing animal. 

Girl was fuckin’ him up real good.

But he definitely wasn’t gonna be doing  _ that _ with a girl like  _ her _ in a place like  _ this _ . Not when he was covered in days of dirt, sweat, and filth – smelling like an animal. No. Beth deserved somewhere as comfortable as he could find, and the very  _ least _ he could do, is wash some of the stank off him before he went and started rubbing himself all over her…

He was worn out from staring blankly at the ceiling most of the night, listening to the sounds of the group sleeping. Every now and then casting an eye over to the man he’d recently pummeled who had stationed himself on the opposite side of the sleeping area from Beth. 

Guess the guy  _ really was _ smart.

Finishing his cigarette Daryl flicked it onto the asphalt, watching it roll away from him a couple of times. They’d be leaving Georgia today. He’d spent his entire life in this state, hadn’t seen a time when he’d be  _ able _ to do anything else. 

The trip to Richmond ordinarily, back before shit fell apart, wouldn’t have taken a long time at all, less than ten hours he figured. But now they had to avoid the big I-85 highway, mirroring it as much as they could without risking getting jammed up in a miles long road block.

He saw people start to load up, the big gates being pulled wide, their small collection of bags stowed and ready. Counting heads he waited until almost everyone was in their rig, specifically he waited for Eugene and Beth to get seated in their separate vehicles. 

He knew everyone said the guy was harmless, and Daryl figured compared to a lot of the fuckers milling around these days, he was, but Daryl didn’t really think harmless included looking at women while they were naked, who didn’t know, who hadn’t given their permission.

Maybe he was being old fashioned an’ shit in this new and even uglier world, but that’s the way he saw it. 

Satisfied everyone was on their way to being squared away he headed over to the SUV hopping into the passenger seat since Rick insisted on doing his alpha male bullshit and was doing all the driving.

They were almost out of town when Beth suddenly let out a little gasp from the back seat – making him twist in his seat to get a good look at her.

“Rick look! Stop! Stop the car!” She was smiling all excited and Daryl had to duck a little to see what she was smacking her window to gesture at.

“What is it?” Rick asked, squinting into his mirrors and glancing out his own window, slowing but not stopping even as Beth became more agitated.

“An orchard! We could get lucky and get some fresh fruit!” Daryl glanced over at Rick whose face said he clearly didn’t like their chances and didn’t think the stop would be worth the time lost. 

Personally, Daryl thought the possibility of getting any kind of meal that didn’t have to be fought or killed over was worth it, but Rick was the leader and if he didn’t think they’d gain enough by going to the orchard than he guessed that was the way it was going to go. Daryl knew Rick would take his advice seriously, but he really didn’t like second guessing the man when it was a call he didn’t have much of an opinion on.

“Chances are that’s been picked through by a hundred other scavengers already and look how wide open it is, we’d be easy targets.” Rick shook his head, eyeing the area around him that was relatively flat, and without cover besides the rows of orchard trees. 

“So you have most of our people keep an eye out and just a few of us can gather.” Beth pleaded, turning a head over her shoulder as they passed another swath of squat trees.

“We could make it quick.” Maggie added in, but Rick still looked a little unconvinced.

“ _ Daryl _ .” His eyes flew to hers immediately, her gaze was pleading and demanding, it took him half a beat to realize what she was trying to say.

_ You owe me. _

He huffed out a breath, knowing she couldn’t say anything since he’d told them the bargain was for backrubs. This is why he didn’t make lying a habit. 

Made shit awkward and obnoxious.

“Stop now, we ain’t gotta do it later.” He muttered to Rick who glanced at him in surprise. “Get Lil’ Asskicker some fruit that ain’t been in a can for couple a’ years.”

He knew Rick was trying to get something else out of his deadpan expression, but Daryl had his blank look set and he really didn’t think it was a bad idea to stop in the first place. More than likely Rick was just anxious to reach Richmond by the end of the day and didn’t have eyes for anything else.

With a defeated nod Rick flashed his lights, tapping his breaks, and pulled off the road enough to flip around and stop halfway down the line of cars that had sat waiting for them to change directions. Windows rolled down and many heads popped out, serious and confused looks covering each face.

“Gonna take a few minutes and check out these orchards,” he motioned quickly to either side of the road, “our local farm girls think we might be able to load up on some fruit, get us a free meal, save on our stores.” There were general nods of agreement before he continued. “Let’s split up half on each field, we’ll go take the first one, another car can follow us over there.”

Getting back to the first grouping of trees, the passengers piled out and Beth immediately went pelting off in the direction of the field. Daryl growled low in his throat until he saw her slamming her crutches through the mid-shin high grass on each step, head scanning back and forth as she did.

_ Guess that counts as fuckin’ careful these days. _

Maggie and Glenn quickly overtook her, knives out and fanning to either side, the trees they aimed for were nearly on top of the small gravel drive they’d pulled their cars onto and it was a matter of steps before they were at the first row. Daryl had planned to keep watch at first, but it seemed that Rick, Michonne, Carol, and Carl holding Lil‘ Asskicker had decided to be the lookouts. 

Which, Daryl figured a little sullenly, made him one of the fuckin’ apple pickers or whatever this orchard grew.

Making his way over he heard an excited squeal and watched as the sisters hugged, swaying back and forth happily. Guess they’d found unspoiled pieces. They wouldn’t be able to take a lot with them, fresh fruit in a hot car in the south was not a great combination, but it’d be cool enough for a little while yet at least.

“Get what ya were lookin’ for?” He asked as they turned to greet his approach. “Wha’ do we got?”

“Peaches!” Maggie exclaimed ecstatically right when Beth bent double laughing and Daryl felt his face heat a little even as he scoffed and cursed, not saying anything to the other confused parties as he walked deeper into the fuckin’ peach orchard.

He walked a quick circuit through almost a quarter of the large section of trees and then headed back to the middle once he was satisfied there wasn’t a walker crawling along the grounds within the area they were most likely to be harvesting. 

Glenn passed by him with a wave, carrying what looked like an extra shirt to bring his haul back in, heading to the edge of where he’d seen Daryl patrolling, Maggie took the other side, nearest the two lane road they’d come in on, Beth was still at the first tree by the gravel road they’d parked on, both similarly equipped with extra bits of cloth to hold their fruit. 

Deciding that the three of them had things well in hand, Daryl decided the long grass in the shade of the tree Beth was working on looked like a great place to have him a rest in. He could almost hear the watchers by the vehicles snort as they watched him lay down, but they could shove it up their asses, he was pretty sure none of them had gotten next to no sleep after a fist fight and several days of building sexual tension.

So they could pretty much suck it.

Placing his loaded crossbow next to his hip, he stretched out with a deep breath – yeah this’d do him fine.

“Excited for the peaches Daryl?” He snorted quietly at her teasing tone, glad she was in such high spirits, even if it maybe didn’t last.

“Fuckin’ thrilled.” He mumbled, closing his eyes.

The day was going to be warm, but this early in the morning his place in the grass was just about perfect, he had the flashing thought that it really  _ would _ be perfect if Beth wasn’t off picking goddamn peaches, and was snuggled up with him instead. The thing he didn’t know – was if he’d actually be able to handle that shit or not. 

“You should have a nickname.” Her random comment with its thoughtful tone caught him off guard, but the concept was ridiculous enough to irritate him immediately. 

“Hell no. Why?” He snapped, wishing she’d just leave him be. If his little breath of a daydream wasn’t going to happen then maybe he could get just a few minutes of sleep before they’d have to load back up. 

Because lord knew he’d feel obligated to stay up with Rick.

“I don’t know. We all have nicknames in my family.” 

Of course she wasn’t willing to just let it go, Beth Greene had the obnoxious tendency of being nearly as stubborn as Merle had been. Both of them pains in the ass he couldn’t get rid of. Didn’t know why, but most the time he didn’t  _ try _ too hard to either, the two of them, banes of his existence.

But Beth saying they used nicknames in her family made his gut churn, he didn’t like the sound of that shit at all. If she kept talking like that she’d have him second guessing himself, and Daryl hated being uncertain on something one way or another. Following out a decision was easy, no matter how nasty the task was, it was the chewing himself up over the decision that messed with him more than anything.

She thought of him as – brother – dad – creepy uncle? Fine, he’d stomach it and hate himself, internalize it until it was one more thing that hardened inside him, building up his walls another layer.

She thought of him as – partner – kissable – fuckable? Fine, he’d wait until he was sure both her feet were on the ground and her head was back on straight and maybe he could take her up on that. 

Daryl just couldn’t shake the feeling that the other shoe was about to drop, and it was going to squash him like walker brains under its heel.  

“So what, I’m yer brother now or somethin’?” He couldn’t help but ask it, his tone and accent hitting that bordering line of brashness that seemed to leak out whenever he got agitated. 

Perfectly nice day at the end of the world, and she has to impede a well-earned nap with this bullshit.

“Nicknames aren’t just for immediate family  _ Daryl _ , like how you call Judith Lil’ Asskicker. Lots a’ types of people use nicknames.” He let out a grunt of irritated agreement, she had a point, but he still didn’t like it. Problem was now – he wasn’t exactly sure as to why. “Well fine, you don’t wanna have one. What about me? You could come up with one for me.”

Daryl’s next intake had to fight against a constricted throat, and something in his gut had his mind locking onto the conversation more urgently than he had before. She wanted him to come up with a nickname for her? Why the hell did he feel like he was getting tested, was she going to determine the way she wanted him based on this? Or was she just feeling him out?

_ Easy Dixon, don’ spook now. Too soon for this kinda thing. _

“Oh trust me Greene I got plenty a’ things I call ya.” He deflected carefully as he muttered, hearing her puff out a breath in either laughter or irritation, as she steadily picked her way around the peach tree. “Sayin’ half of ‘em in my head right now.” 

He’d continued just loud enough for her to hear. And that was another damn thing. Her sister wasn’t more than ten feet from them. Walkers and crazies seemed to want him dead every other damn day – she wanted to add her scary ass sister to that?

She definitely wasn’t looking to do him any favors.

For Beth’s part she seemed to have chosen to act like he hadn’t said a goddamn thing, and kept the conversation going like he’d decided not to reply. 

“Well I’d say ya could call me peaches, but since I know how you don’t like ’em I guess that wouldn’t work.” 

“Works fine right now.” He growled, hearing her make her way closer to him, hopping steps more steady than they had been a few days before. 

“It’s too bad, that’s a pretty cute one, fits me too dont’cha think? Bright, sweet ‘n soft on the outside, hard at the center.” 

_ Good fuckin’ lord. _

A prickling sensation broke out across most of his body as his eyes snapped open at last. He had to tell himself, especially his suddenly twitching dick – that she hadn’t meant that to sound so fucking sexual. He had to remind his flexing fingers that her tone had still been that thoughtful unassuming one. Her words weren’t meant to make them crave a quick searching feel of that  _ soft _ skin. Tell his tongue to stop its restless roll around his mouth, imagining it buried deep in the  _ sweet _ places of her. 

It wasn’t doing any good. 

And  _ again _ – he internally growled at his still stiffening cock – that hard center she talked about had nothing to do with  _ it _ . Woman was talking about her own strength, for fucks sake, she didn’t need any help with that.

His body slowly was coming back into his control as he sat up to glare at her, a little unsettled when he found her right next to him, meeting his gaze. Daryl’s movement brought his head nearly level with her waist. Flexed his arms hard to stop them from reaching for her - couldn’t let them place Beth squarely on top of him. 

“You forgot fuzzy and annoyin’.” His voice tore out of his throat and Daryl knew he sounded husky as fuck – her eyes went from thoughtful to a little sad before she was fixing him with an incredulous look. 

“How’re peaches annoyin’?” He let out a heavy breath, hating how his once reliable body was deciding now of all times to rebel. 

He decided to lie back down just as heavily as his released breath, ignoring hands that pestered at him to reach up and take one of hers. Beth had stopped her collecting efforts and was hanging her pale digits next to those gently flaring hips. 

“Annoy me plenty.” He murmured, not caring much if his responses made sense anymore. Hell, nothing else seemed to be as far as he could tell. 

“Well, I’ll just let ya think about it, an’ you can tell me when you think of somethin’.” Beth replied lightly, her voice sounding like she’d turned her gaze back to the tree beside them.

“Be sure t’ hold yer breath ‘til I do.” He closed his eyes grumbling, flinching when a peach smacked him soundly in the gut. 

Aiming a glare at her carefully turned back, Daryl picked up the slightly bruised peach and eyed it with a certain amount of distrust.

Personally he thought  _ peaches, _ was a fucking  _ awful _ nickname for Beth. Sure, maybe before, back when being all sweet soft flesh and warm hues was a thing that didn’t always get you crushed…but now.

His hand fisted around the piece of fruit, it was small, half soft from its harsh landing and being in the elements, it buckled down to pulp. Mush and juices leaking and running over his fingers, dripping down his arm, soiling his shirt and the hip of his pants.

The pit was barely able to withstand his white knuckled grasp, not really solid in itself. 

_ Beth ain’t no fuckin’ peach. _

Even the play on words didn’t amuse him as he looked at the small destruction in his fist. And without meaning for it to happen, his mind began reeling through something worthy enough to be compared to the fierce blonde near him who was beginning to pick up her harvest. 

Nothing came to mind right off the bat, but Daryl had plenty of time to think about it on the trip to Richmond and it wasn’t like he necessarily  _ had _ to tell her if he  _ did _ think of something fitting.

He could keep it.

Use it just for him in his head, where no one could make fun of him, or make him doubt his choice. He liked the idea of that, maybe the girl wasn’t as far off base with this one after all.

The trip through the states would have been rather uneventful, if it weren’t for everyone’s nerves being constantly on edge whenever they hit a car jam they had to go around or move. There’d been a small herd at one point that was just ambling off the road, the convoy gunned it and all of them but the last car was able get through without hitting a single dead. But after clipping a few flailing bodies it got through and the pack didn’t even miss a step.

The only other thing that Daryl experienced was a small slug on his arm every time they passed into a new state. On the first border, heading into South Carolina, he’d watched the sign getting closer and felt an uptick to his pulse. 

Keeping a carefully blank face, he released a breath just as they passed, and then felt a small meaty impact that made a dull slapping sound on his bare bicep. He’d jerked his head over to see her beaming at him, and he couldn’t help the yanking at the corner of his mouth as he shook his head at her and turned back to watch out the windshield.

He heard Maggie whispering back and forth with her for a little bit after that and when it came to the North Carolina border he was easily assaulted by both Greene girls. Rick eyed them, a grin on his face, maybe picking up on what the cause was, or just getting a kick out of Daryl’s half-assed muttering.

“Stop.” He griped over his lightly stinging shoulder only to be met with breathy laughter from the back seat.

He instinctively tensed when Virginia’s state sign rolled into view, barely beginning to relax with a slight feeling of disappointment when a pattering of fists hit him on both sides.

“Fuckin’ seriously?” He snapped at Rick, who pressed himself laughing against the driver side door, attempting to slide away from Daryl’s easy punch to his shoulder. As for Glenn, that elusive little bastard was lucky to be in the back seat.

The levity slowly dissipated as they neared Richmond. When they were still a good distance out they found an old bait and tackle store on the edge of a small town. They were going to be taking the SUV, everyone but a few of the group would be staying here until the others got back, but first they all needed a rest, deciding to leave at first light the next day.

Having looted a pair of radios in Atlanta they’d be able to stay in touch and let the home group in the shop know if everything was safe or if the settlement was even still standing. Everyone unloaded the gear and spent the night in the cramped confines the small store offered.

The assigned members met at their transport the next morning and it was then that they hit their first snag. 

“Who said I was ok riding bitch?” Michonne asked when given the seating arrangement, eyeing Daryl challengingly. “I call shotgun.” To exercise her claim the smirking woman leaned into the passenger side, sitting sideways on the seat and crossing her arms.

There was a small silence when Glenn spoke up. “I’ll do it I don’t mind.”

“Shocking.” Daryl snorted as he saw his perfectly good plan being knocked down like dominoes.

“Guess that leaves you in the back with Beth.” Rick said way too fuckin’ innocently and Daryl cut his eyes to his brother, wondering how much disruption punching Rick in the face would cause to their trip. 

Everyone always had to get such a chuckle out of making him feel awkward when it came to his aversion to touching most people.

Daryl was facing a whole new set of issues with this change of events though. Technically, Noah could direct them fine from the back hatch, but Daryl didn’t really  _ want _ him back there that close with Beth. Which is why he’d worked it so Glenn would be back there with her in the first place. But no. Michonne had to be some kind of pain in the ass, and  _ now _ what was he supposed to do?

He’d fit back there with her but barely, there’d absolutely be some constant kind of touch. He was considering the size of his willpower when he heard her quiet voice at his elbow.

“It’s ok Daryl, I don’t have to come.” He turned to look at her, she seemed embarrassed, which was confusing. She’d been getting into a weird headspace since they’d settled here last night and it was making him anxious.

He didn’t know if it was the possibility of being around a lot of people they didn’t know, which hadn’t happened for her since Grady. Or the idea of reuniting a family, maybe she was feeling sad about her dad. Could be just another wave of mental shit bogging her down from the hospital, she’d been doing so good the last few days but he still saw her get body snatched every now and then.

It helped to remind him to keep his hands to himself.

“You wanna though right?” And he could hear the challenge in his voice, he needed her to want things. Needed her to fight and rage, if necessary, to stay alive. To be present, and fucking  _ aware _ of the shit going on around her. 

“Well, of course-” He didn’t let her finish, just broke the circle around the open passenger side door to walk to the back of the vehicle.

“S’fine, let’s get goin’.” Opening up the swinging back doors, they all looked at the space available, well everyone besides fucking Michonne, who grinned at him from her spot up front.

“I don’t know if it’ll work.” Beth half whispered leaning closer to him, eyes uncertain, keeping her voice down – not wanting people to hear her for some reason.

“I’ll make it fit.” He answered her quietly, his gaze trying to puzzle out the best way to have the most room for both of them in the limited space.

There was a slight cough from his other side as Glenn muttered. “Well  _ I _ feel uncomfortable.”

Daryl had to think for a second about what had been said before, without looking, he slugged the other man in the stomach.

“Don’t worry, I know exactly how to fix this.” Abraham announced and they all turned to him in expectation. Daryl didn’t really like the smile the ginger was fixing on him as the big man winked. “ _ You _ can switch places with  _ Rosita _ .”

There was a few startled snorts as Daryl nearly shoved Beth into the back.

“Christ, hop in there woman ‘ _ fore _ I’m violated please.” Daryl growled good naturedly as laughter broke the tension that had been running through him.

The ride to Richmond took much longer than he thought it would. Maybe it was because Beth’s scent was swamping him, her warm body pressed side to side with his as the SUV headed down the road at a good clip.

There was general chatter from up front but the back was conspicuously quiet. Daryl couldn’t think of a single thing to get her talking about that didn’t sound like some kind of innuendo. And Beth, who normally filled their silences easily, was equally as closed mouthed as he was. He kept shooting unsure glances at her from under his hair, watching the slack expression and the nearly clear color of her eyes.

He needed to think of something to help her snap out of it. He felt the time and miles tick passed them and felt a growing frustration. He didn’t like that he was bringing her with him into a situation he could so minimally control. Liked it less knowing that she wasn’t back to being 100% when she could easily need to defend herself. He was being a selfish sonofabitch bringing her with them, using the excuse that it was for her and Noah, the guy he still didn’t even like.

His body was complaining at its position, while it offered the least amount of contact with Beth, his legs were slammed into his chest, arms wrapped around them. Beth was in the same pose and he could see her carefully raise her leg with the bad ankle and roll it carefully. It’d been getting better, hell she barely used the crutches, hadn’t even brought them with her, she’d be able to chuck them soon.

Muttering, he began scooting around to face her, her eyes slowly sparking back to life at his movement. Without saying a word, because without a doubt he was gonna catch hell for this when they got to where they were going, he began inching a leg to either side of her. Her eyes got wider each movement he made as she realized what he was trying to accomplish.

Their eyes held, and Daryl waited, face expressionless, heart trying to kick through his ribcage pure  _ Cops _ style. She took one shuddering breath through her slightly opened mouth, his eyes ticking down to the pink shining lips before back up to eyes that were visibly bluer than when he’d looked down.

Not saying a word she inched around, having to clutch at first his knees and then his thighs to move so that her back was to his chest. They both let out a sigh when they were able to stretch out cramping legs, but the relief didn’t last long for him.

He’d known this was going to happen when he’d made the decision. Knew his choice was putting that tight ass right up against his all too eager dick. She’d sidled right up against it, but thankfully she was doing her best to not wiggle in an attempt to get more comfortable. Daryl was given time to close his eyes and imagine what it must be like to fuck a walker, with that traumatizing shit in mind, he was able to just stop himself from growing hard against her.

For a while Beth sat nearly perfectly straight, arms cradled in her lap, his own were resting on his thighs and the two of them passed more of the trip in silence. He didn’t know if she got tired, got curious, or just got crazy, but the next thing Daryl knew he went from looking at a recently redone ponytail and braid to having a clear view to the other side of the grey interior. 

She laid her back along the length of his chest and he tensed, being reminded again at how she clicked perfectly into his frame. He was working on leveling out his breathing, running that whole walker one night stand scenario through his mind when they went over a slight rise in the road and Beth was suddenly directly on top of his crotch.

He almost wished she weighed more, or that she hadn’t felt her sudden weightlessness and had hurt him coming down. As it was, she’d caught herself with the use of small hands dug into the muscles of his thighs. He let out a grunt, his mind immediately shooting free of anything impeding his body’s arousal.

Trying to get off him, without drawing attention, she slid her ass across his length until she was back on the SUV’s flooring. 

He wanted to die.

She leaned back against him again with a near soundless apology, and Daryl felt like his body was going to convulse into itself from the amount of tension rolling through each muscle and tendon. 

There was not a fucking thing he could do about his hardened cock pressing itself insistently into the high curve of her backside. His hands fisted harder against his thighs, as he worked to steady his breathing, feeling the graze of her shirt against his knuckles as he did.

It was pretty goddamn difficult to unwind the excitement coursing through him and into his groin, especially when Beth didn’t seem to either notice (which seemed pretty fucking impossible given the pressure on his dick) or to not care about his reaction. 

Goddamn but he wanted to slide quick hands along her midriff and haul her even tighter against him. He dreaded and  _ needed _ the added friction, the added weight and feel of her. 

It was hotter than hell in the back of the tank style SUV, sent to them via the devil, and their combined sweat was causing his abdominal muscles to feel every vertebrae of her spine pressed into him as she breathed. 

This wasn’t happening, he just needed to think about being somewhere else, doing  _ anything _ else. 

Give himself a chance to calm the fuck down.

But god he wanted to…could just lift and unclench a hand, have it bypassing the tank top she was in, and in less than a second he’d be dragging his hands over creamy smooth skin, feeling muscles twitch and her breath catch. And fuck, but how could he help but wonder if she was cooler than he was  _ everywhere _ across that lightly muscled body of hers? 

Or, could he keep one hand splayed along milky shivering coolness and have his other hand pop that tiny button from her pants and explore more southerly? He could just feel the scrape of zipper and elastic on the back of his hand. The tickling thatch covering her mound sliding through and passed his fingers as he searched out the heat. Sliding just one careful finger against throbbing flesh, maybe a little travel around the bud for thoroughness, before sinking knuckle deep in wet bliss.

_ Fuck – _

And she said he didn’t have a good imagination. 

No one would know. They’d be quiet. He could use his hold on her stomach to lift her like he wanted. Roll his hips against her while he continued those southerly discoveries. Might have to put a hand over her mouth when he ground her against the cock she seemed so interested in pressing against. She fucking wanted him to didn’t she? She had to want him to, way she was laying all boneless along him like that.

He was drawing haggard half-hissing lungfuls of air, repeating to himself that they were in a vehicle chock full of people and there was no way in hell anyone could be quiet enough while doing  _ that _ . For all he knew, she was checked out in front of him right now, which is why she was allowing this contact to continue. 

Or maybe she was fully aware but too embarrassed for the both of them to make a scene about it. But even if it was the final possibility that she  _ wanted _ to feel him, he cleared his throat as he began to throb and twitch against her, he’d already decided this kind of shit wasn’t going to happen.

Be too close to taking advantage of her, to taking her without her real consent, and he wasn’t that level of sick fuck. Yeah he was the level that was apparently able to get over the shit high difference in their ages. In their amount of experience, fuck for all he knew, this body that glued itself to him from pelvis to collarbone was a virgin. Of course that depended on her unwillingness to do it with both boyfriends and her ability to fight off the nasty fuckers at Grady.

The thought worked like a cold shower and he whooshed out a sigh of relief as his body unwound itself by degrees. Just because Beth felt willing against him didn’t mean she was ready for that kind of contact, he’d have to be sure, they both would.

It had nothing to do with him being scared shitless of the idea of them crossing that line. Hell no, he was just worried she couldn’t handle it, this was about her baggage not his…

_ Don’ know who you’re tryin’ t’convince with that crock ‘a shit. _

He was almost back to normal when he felt a small hand light onto his knee, grasping nonchalantly, she was clearly trying to kill him for some reason. Seemed pretty fuckin’ rude, considering the struggle he’d just gone through, but he tensed and waited.

“This is a good spot, it’ll look like part of the wreck.” Rick’s voice called back, and Daryl felt the SUV settle to a stop. Carefully as he could, Daryl finally got his chance to wrap his hands around her small waist, at least while he picked her up and lifted her away from him. Opening the back doors he bailed out of the back like the damn car was sinking behind him.

He refused to look Beth in the eye, deciding to meet Noah who was opening his door and pushing the kid out of the way, reached over him to jerk his bow out of Glenn’s offering hold. Not replying to the questions as to why he hadn’t just waited for Glenn to pass it back to him.

_ ‘Cause there’s a fuckin’ hellcat back there tryin’ t’ break me. _

And it wasn’t much of a question that she was doing a damn good job at it too.

When they made it into the compound, Daryl tried not to feel the disappointment and anger at the destruction they found there. Equally tried not to be impressed with the way Beth made it one legged up and over the barrier fence. Noah looked devastated, and Beth stuck by him as he crumpled into the street. This meant Daryl stuck with him too, because there was no way in hell he was letting Beth out of his sight, or out of arm’s reach for that matter.

Didn’t mean a thing, how intense shit had gotten in the back of that SUV, he wasn’t gonna let his panic cause the same series of events it had at the funeral home. 

No – if someone was gonna come at her they’d have to kill him to get there.

He could hear her offering condolences and promises of safety with their family and Daryl nodded along to show his support as his eyes scanned the broken neighborhood around them. Everyone was out scavenging, downing the old residents as they did, he doubted anything would even get through to them but he still felt uneasy.

_ WOLVES NOT FAR _

That couldn’t be anything good, and obviously there was a pretty good sized pack of these ‘wolves’ they’d knocked down or driven through the wall, overtaken the residents, and slaughtered them. Group of that size was serious danger, and could obviously annihilate their own small scouting group.

Just because it looked like they’d been gone a good while didn’t settle his nerves, not with his family being here, not with  _ her _ being here, unable to run like she had back when the prison had been attacked. 

They needed to get the hell outta dodge quick like.

Right when he came to that rather definite idea, Noah popped up and started sprinting up the street, Beth whisper yelling after him. Daryl growled to himself as she got to her feet and started a limping jog, favoring her bad ankle, he wanted to pick her up or make her stop. But he couldn’t do either of those things, he had to keep his bow up and ready, and trying to stop Beth doing anything she set her mind to was like fighting a forest fire.

He’d learned to just go with her and try to make sure nothing happened.

Watching what house Noah disappeared into, he heard Beth muttering insults under her breath, guy hadn’t even stopped to knock and wait for signs of walkers in the house. Daryl hoped Noah got lucky but he wasn’t about to run ahead and leave her here to catch up.

Entering the house quietly, besides their heavy breaths, the two looked around, spotting Noah by the body of a woman Daryl figured to be his mom. After watching the other man cover her as best he could, Daryl stepped out of the way as Noah made his way wraithlike down a nearby hallway.

Beth glanced at him and Daryl nodded, raising his bow and waiting until she’d drawn her knife before motioning her ahead of him. They found him in one of the back rooms gazing at family photos featuring twin boys, flicking quick eyes around the room Daryl noticed only one small body on the single bed.

“Noah.” Beth’s voice was sad and pleading, clearly she was having the same ideas he was. They couldn’t stay here, they hadn’t cleared the house, hadn’t told the others where they were going. 

Couldn’t do anything for the man’s family, not anymore.

Beth made a hesitant step farther into the room and Daryl glanced quickly over his shoulder down the hallway behind him. He had a bad feeling, they needed to get the fuck out of here, out of this house, out of this cemetery of a community. Looking back he froze, a child walker – the twin brother – made its way on small dragging feet towards Noah’s back.

Beth stood in the way of his shot and as he yelled for her to move, for Noah to turn around, everything slowed down to a crawl. Ignoring him, Beth leapt forward with a cry, catching the small boy awkwardly, not by his throat as they all knew to, but by the collar of his ragged shirt. The walker turned, quicker than it should have been and right when Daryl felt like he was going to live his nightmare out, and be there to watch Beth get bitten, her small arm lashed down and drove her knife into the skull.

She released her hold quickly, letting the small body collapse as Noah watched, looking about one more event away from an aneurism.

“Told you to  _ move _ goddamn it.” He barked, her eyes snapped up to his in surprise.

“He woulda gotten Noah.” Her tone was mostly calm, but he could hear an undercurrent of something that made him narrow his eyes more at her. 

It seemed like her eyes had gone back to colorless, but it wasn’t paired with the usual slackened face. Made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, and that aching in the nerves of his teeth was back.

He fuckin’  _ hated _ Noah.

Logic and compassion weren’t things that had time to stop the thought.

“Just  _ git _ .” She didn’t seem to appreciate him snapping at her, but didn’t say anything, just eyed him coolly as she stepped passed. 

He made another head jerking motion to Noah, doing his best not to glower at the guy since he’d just seen the bodies of everyone he loved.

Getting back to the SUV he didn’t say a word to anyone, just climbed into the front passenger seat. Slouching back, his thumb being bitten agitatedly as the others figured out where to put themselves and the things they’d been able to scavenge. The ride back was far quieter, Daryl had plenty of time to worry about that tone and gleam he’d seen from Beth.

And somewhere in the back of his mind he heard the sound of a shoe dropping.

_ Knew you were comin’ you motherfucker. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, there's that. I don't know how I feel about it but we're hitting choppy shit for at least the next week, but we all know what happens when emotions are running high for a long period of time so let's get all the cards on the table and then get to more awkward flirting.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Beth thinks about the car ride to Richmond, Eugene apologizes, and Beth loses her shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - You guys are awesome, I cannot say enough how much I appreciate the support, I appreciate also the patience you've all shone with this slow burn that is going to continue to smolder for a bit longer but I do offer a little something as penance at the beginning of this chapter :) So beginning with the next update we're going to be back to following events from the show pretty closely so there should be some familiar bits with a twist. 
> 
> Bit of a trigger warning here for an inner dialogue Beth has about Gorman and what happened at the hospital but that's about it, no graphic language describing any acts of rape.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 10**

There was something decidedly wrong with her, she could feel it vibrating along her bones, and burning along her muscles. If she could guess, put a specific time on it, she'd say it had started the other night when Eugene had peeked in on her and Daryl. It had felt at first like simple adrenaline and then the resulting crash afterwards that lasted longer than it should.

It filled her with a nervous energy that she didn't understand, couldn't shake or dissipate. Trying to suss it out, she couldn't pin point it to any one event, the sudden feeling of threat coming from the open door, Daryl's unmitigated violence - sudden but not unwarranted - or maybe it was still Grady, all rolling around her mind and settling in.

Logically she knew there should have been more fallout from her time there. But she’d hoped the reoccurring disassociation would be the only thing she needed to get through. She was strong, and she wouldn't let it break her, but the constant traveling and having that fog settle over her mind had perhaps been keeping things (more startling things)  _ at bay _ until she could better deal with them.

The only problem was, she didn't know if she could rightly call how she was currently handling this feeling as 'dealing' with it. The energy hummed along her veins and the surface of her skin, and she wasn't sure if it was this unrelenting sensation that was making her so uncharacteristically angry, or if the rage was strong enough to make her skin twitch and burn the way it was.

Beth could definitely admit, even if she couldn't seem to care like she should, that what had happened on the car ride to Richmond was very much  _ not _ dealing with it. At least not in what could be considered a healthy way.

But it  _ had _ felt really,  _ really _ , good.

And it hadn't been like she'd pushed him, or like it had even been her idea for him to nestle her in between his thighs like that. Sure, she doubted that Daryl had in any way planned on those few blissful moments to happen, but she certainly hadn’t orchestrated them. She'd been too focused on working to keep her face carefully blank, fearing that Daryl of all people would be able to see this new unsettling feeling.

She hadn't wanted to risk being forced to stay back at the shop and talk things out with Maggie or something. But she'd almost let exactly that happen – when the seating had gotten switched around. She was too caught up in her own head to be so close to him. The idea of laying her head on his arm or running slow fingertips down his back was something she actively had to tell herself not to do. She could very easily ruin everything just over some kind of setback in her head.

So she'd sat, not even daring to talk to him as the SUV headed uneventfully down the road, thankful for his normal level of silence while she attempted to breathe the calm back into her sparking nerve endings. 

She would not touch him, she would not touch him, she would not touch him…unless… 

And then the next thing she knew he was turning in the limited space, a booted foot scooting along her toes and tailbone.

She'd had time to wonder if she was having some kind of fever dream when her eyes met his, steady and waiting, his wide thick knuckled hands resting on the faded expanse of his jean covered knees. The curving sling of his flannel shielded torso made her want to reach out, slip a middle button free, press cold hands into the barely giving spring of his abdomen.

Before just as carefully sliding another button loose.

Finally becoming aware she hadn't so much as twitched or said a thing to him, Beth had moved to copy his pose, the added leg room a welcome relief specifically to her still tender ankle. She'd done so well at first, sitting up straight, carefully not thinking about that half lidded gaze of his, the grease covered hair resting on sharp cheekbones and whiskered jaw.

She would not touch him, she would not touch him…but…

It was a not so gradual thing, the feeling of heat seeping into her from the apex of his thighs, and suddenly he was the only thing she could think about. And that jittering energy focused in a whole other direction than what she'd been dealing with all morning. Hyperawareness of him pressed against the outside of her hips and the curve of her butt, and even though she knew - she wanted to feel if he was the same temperature from groin to clavicle.

Settling back against him was incredible. 

Daryl was stiff as she lounged into his frame, but she’d expected that. He was all dense muscle and simmering warmth, so solid - an unyielding presence against her back. It was like her body had never had contact with a single member of the opposite sex, she wanted to melt into him, all boneless weight and crackling skin.

His smell was one she was used to, but this close the mixture of tobacco, smoke, musk, and dirt with just a slight tang of old sweat was running like nitrogen through her nose, filling up her lungs and curling like a secondhand high around the inside of her skull. It was a near thing that she didn't turn her head fully and press her face into the recess under his jaw.

Her heartrate had tripped at just the idea, at what his reaction would be to that, would he shy away? Make a noise to draw attention, make a noise that  _ would _ draw attention even if he didn't want it to? Would he tense more and grit his teeth, as she curved along him, nosing him like some inquisitive little animal?

Or maybe, would those carefully fisted hands on his thighs move to claim the cooler length of her throat, rough palms snagging along her skin and hair as he pressed her closer, stroking a thumb along her own jaw as she pressed her lips to his. 

And where might that other hand go?

She could imagine only so far, had only allowed any access to a certain point, and that point wasn't exactly where she wanted it to go this time. Wasn't nearly low enough. She'd liked it fine when Jimmy or Zach moved their hands across her chest, mouths hot on her throat, pressing urgent hard-ons into her thigh or hip. It had made her feel guilty later, knowing she could have offered them some comfort before they passed.

But the problem had been that those interactions had never turned her desperate, mindless, and she'd been able to keep her head and keep them out of her pants, hands or otherwise. But now, without him laying a single trailing finger on her, she wanted Daryl to do things she'd only heard about from Maggie and other secondary sources.

She hadn't even been able to help herself in that way, too self-conscious and over thinking for her own good. She was in the middle of her struggle not to turn her head, neck and shoulders stiff with all the self-control left to her, synapses and nerve endings still thrilling. That uncanny energy still trying to set her teeth on edge, when they'd hit a swell in the road.

She was too light, her body weightless, she instinctively reached her hands down to either side to control her landing, but had come in contact with the bunching muscles in his thighs. She still couldn't answer even now, sitting quietly in the bait and tackle shop a day later, whether she had meant to land where she had or not.

The landing  _ itself _ hadn't been hard, he'd barely flinched under her, had groaned as she slid down the front of him and she'd breathed an apology that she hadn't meant. Because now she could feel his reaction to her and it didn't make her sorry at all.

Heat pulled from her skin to collect into a thready pulse between her thighs, she knew, without a doubt that she couldn't move any more against him. Knew this was too far for him, his body once again losing all semblance of breathing male and instead a many hinged piece of metal lined her spine, framed her thighs, dug sinfully hard along the still giving flesh of her ass and the base of her spine.

Maybe she had moved, leaned into that point, feeling every hardened inch, mind reeling with thoughts of using those legs of his to boost herself back and against him again. Get him to make that grating sound  _ one _ more time like it was tearing up his throat.

Beth shook her head, feeling that irritation bubbling like old coffee in her gut, looking around at the busily chatting individuals surrounding her right now. Daryl nowhere in sight. She didn't know how he'd managed, shear will and stubbornness she was grouchily sure, but he  _ had _ managed to calm his body down. Metal plating beginning to give, turn flesh and muscle once more, his heat the only thing that stayed the same.

She had suddenly been aware of his ragged breathing, like he'd been holding it all that time until he could regain control.

She hadn't liked it at all.

Gone as far as placing one determined hand on his knee before the SUV came to a stop and Rick was announcing they'd arrived. Daryl had - carefully - but hastily moved her bodily away from him before hopping out the back doors like he was running from a herd.

The day had gone downhill from there with him getting mad at her for taking out that walker boy that used to be Noah's little brother, but it was her body, she'd seen the threat and launched herself at it. So while she couldn't blame Daryl for his stiff jawed anger, she had more than enough riling along her own limbs to worry about his.

She'd looked for more walkers on their way back to the car but the other group members had easily taken care of anything way before she even left the house. She hadn't been surprised when Daryl had sequestered himself in the front seat, immediately fussing with either his thumb or the hair around his mouth like he did whenever he was thinking or nervous.

She'd sat it the back with Noah, side to side, but their smaller frames allowing for more comfortable positions. Her hand going to pat his back every now and then as the tears slipped quietly down his face, watching him as his eyes stared blankly at the raw grey back door of the SUV. Murmuring sympathies as she felt the urge to scream or somehow lash out at the anger whipping away inside her.

She blinked several times now and a pair of flashing blues glinted into focus. He squatted down in front of her, eyeing her silently and she figured she must have stared at him blankly for too long from the way he was glowering at her.

"Sorry."  _ Not sorry, screw you Daryl Dixon you damn paragon of restraint. _ "Ya'd say somethin'?"

"Just askin' how you're ankle was doin' after ya ran on it yesterday." He was talking really carefully to her like she might break if his voice got too loud and that made her madder still.

She didn't get that kind of crap from Daryl, he'd be gentle with her sure, sweet even if no one was around to rib him about it, but he didn't handle her with kid gloves. Not ever. And that's what she'd come to find most attractive about him – depended on him for – to help remind herself that she wasn't that weak little nothing that was a burden.

"Fine." She all but snapped and his eyes narrowed slightly in response.

"Ain't needin' these anymore then." His tone blatantly challenging, it made Beth wonder if he hadn't come over here just to pick shit with her. She watched him grab up her crutches, not really finding anything to protest until something caught her eye.

"Wait." He froze half turned, about ready to stand, eyes meeting hers warily. He was looking at her like he expected her to throw herself at him right in the middle of the bait and tackle.

She gritted her teeth a little before motioning for him to hand them back over, shooting him one of her best glares when he remained still, the light from the front window highlighting the circles under his eyes and the slight hollow of his cheeks.

"Stop bein' a pain in my ass Daryl, just hand 'em to me real quick." His eyes stayed narrowed but she knew it cracked him up a little when she swore.

Taking them back from his hold, she began unwrapping the soiled strips of cloth.

"Why're you doin' that?" He rasped, eyes tracking her quick movements.

She didn't answer at first, finding one of the first layers right next to the wood that sweat and dirt hadn't been able to reach. Leaving an end length of it free, she began wrapping it around her scarred wrist. Gathering the loose ends she offered them to him expectantly, sighing heavily when he made no move towards her waiting hands.

"Daryl-"

"Ain't nothin' ya gotta hide Beth." He nodded to her, his eyes as usual, were intense and she was in danger of doing that thing he'd looked concerned about her doing a few moments ago.

But she couldn't do that because if she did, his head was likely to explode and even being as messed up inside as she was, Beth was rather happy with his head the way it was. There must have been something wrong with her tone, however, because her answer had him flinching back.

"Can't help it if we like to hide our scars can we?"

And of course, or course he was going to have that reaction because Daryl hadn't put his scars there, they'd been done to him. They sat uncomfortably for a breath or two, and then he was reaching over and tying off the piece of cloth around her wrist. She felt surprise when he even did a half decent bow before dropping his hands.

The faded piece of flannel wound like ribbon, crisscrossing a few times before its looping knot at the back of her forearm. She didn’t need much of a reason other than wanting to cover her scar, but it certainly didn’t hurt that it had been his. That he’d shredded it, mad at her or not, in order to give her something she needed. It would be her good luck charm, her little piece of Daryl to remind her even when he was being a jackass how much they meant to one another.

She wanted to hold onto that feeling but most of it got evaporated in the turmoil happening in her head, and the worst part was that she had no real place to aim it at. Which is why she’d secluded herself against the front wall of the shop, below the window, it was in hopes of avoiding conversation and lessoning her chances of self-combusting.   

"Wantin' to save the rest?" Daryl asked, not meeting her eyes, head bobbing to the other sprawling bits of fabric she’d unspooled.

She nodded, asking him to shove them into the bag filled with the rest of the group's dirty clothing. She'd be sure to be the one doing them so no one threw them out. She could find uses for them, unwilling for some reason to let them go.

Waiting until he was a far enough distance away, she levered herself to her feet keeping a close eye on his retreating back. Gingerly making her way outside she nodded a hello to Rosita who was the one on watch, walking a short distance away to catch her breath. She was unraveling everything she'd been working to repair, and she was violently upset and dispassionate about it by turns.

It was freaking her out, she'd been an emotional person for pretty much always, but barring extreme situations it had stayed manageable.

Barring extreme situations...

The cloth wrapping her wrist felt like warm fingers curling around the fine bones in her arm, holding her back, asking her to wait. She heard steps coming from the building, she needed to apologize to him, she never should have mentioned his scars - hers wasn't even comparable. It took a couple more of the approaching foot falls for her to know it wasn't him though, they were too scuffling and uncertain, no matter how shy he was feeling there was no way Daryl would ever sound like that.

She saw Rosita's slight look of consternation as she turned, coming face to face with Eugene.

He wasn't dangerous, not in the way Gorman had been, but he was unsettling. She figured if she had some time, if she could just get to know him she could probably like him. Tara and the man seemed to get on well and Beth had found the woman funny and perceptive.

She knew Tara was good people.

Events just seemed to be unfolding in a way that made it hard for her to feel comfortable around Eugene at the moment. Largest of those events was his creeping around trying to see her not only naked but having sex, the idea of which was mortifying to her. She couldn’t imagine the amount of embarrassment and possible trauma she’d have suffered if her and Daryl had been having sex and she’d looked up and seen him there.

Maybe she was over reacting, but then if she’d been distressed Daryl had seen – enraged – by the intrusion. By the idea of them being seen, or at least of her being seen without permission. 

Eugene stopped a decent handful of steps from her, nervous eyes glancing over to Rosita, obviously trusting her to act as mediator and chaperone. No offense to the feisty dark eyed woman, but Beth would have felt better if her own personal chaperone were present.

Then again, Daryl would probably cause the nearly trembling man to stutter himself to death, maybe it was better someone Eugene felt safe with was out here. Be that as it may she still found her arms crossing over her chest defensively, faded flannel pattern catching at the corner of her eye as she met his gaze.

"Miss Beth it is my true and unmitigated wish to offer my most sincerest of apologies for the gross transgression I perpetrated against you and Mr. Dixon. My judgement was not sound and my actions reprehensible. I'm aware that our limited familiarity with one another made these actions all the more disturbing."

"I doubt the level of familiarity had much to do with it Eugene." Rosita drawled sarcastically, Beth flashed a quick look over to see that she was still paying very close attention to the interaction which was good.

Beth was too on edge to crack the appropriate tension easing jokes.

"Be that as it may." The toneless voice continued, head nodding quickly in agreement. "While I realize that this muddle of events does nothing to color my character in a favorable light. I do hope that time and no repetition of said events will cause you to arrive at the conclusion that while ungentlemanly I am in no way and never meant to be a threat to you and yours."

After Beth got done working through the meandering yet clinical statement, she felt her cheeks flush a little. Did he mean that 'yours' as in her family in general? Or did he mean that Daryl, the other person he was attempting to spy on, was hers?

_ Pfft if only... _

She did have to admit though she was a little surprised Daryl hadn’t come prowling out of the shop’s doors. It seemed unlikely he’d got done with the small task and meandered off without checking on her at least one more time. She’d thought it before, the man was like a grumpy junk yard dog, but he was the most fiercely loyal guardian and partner a person could have.

She couldn't think up much of a response for the man currently in front of her. She'd come out here to decompress, her muscles still trembled in her arms and even though she wasn't mad at Eugene, not really, she was still made in general. She wasn't going to take it out on him, on anyone if she could help it, so she did the only thing she felt comfortable doing and dipped her head in acceptance, wanting to get away.

She went to take a step around him, not sure where it was she planned to go exactly. Just away. But Eugene, maybe concerned with the look in her too wide eyes or the grimacing set of her mouth, reached out a hand to stall her escape. It wasn't his fault, the thought zipped through her mind, even as his warm hand came into contact with her midriff.

He hadn't meant for his fingers to graze the skin of her stomach. That was an unfortunate coincidence of too many harsh washings, and her tightly crossed arms that had pulled the hem up enough for the contact to occur. Also didn’t help that she was wearing that faded once yellow polo shirt she’d had on when Dawn almost killed her. 

He could have no idea. No one did, at what that contact as mildly unwanted and unsuspecting as it was, would remind her of.

But it didn't stop her from springing back with a yell, arms uncrossing to raise her hands defensively in front of her.

Eugene immediately leapt back as if scalded, just as the sound of the shop door smacking back into the wall could be heard. The scientist was tripping over himself to take a ducking position next to Rosita, clearly expecting the woman to protect him from the seething redneck that was crossing the parking lot towards them.

Bow strapped to his back, fists clenched, Daryl's long strides ate up blacktop like a thoroughbred down the track. Beth shook as her vision whited out around the edges, making her feel one staggering breath away from passing out. She'd managed to stuff up her ears somehow, Daryl's brash voice seeping through layers of thick wool.

"The fuck happened?" He barked, veins standing out slightly on his forehead, stopping hard inches away from Rosita who stood with arms crossed a look of irritated inconvenience on her face.

"He didn't do anything, she looked totally freaked after he apologized for the gas station. He was trying to make sure she was ok." Beth could barely hear the calm response, started jutting her jaw a little to relieve the pressure in her head.

A part of her had the illogical idea that if Daryl hadn’t come charging out when he had, she’d already be passed out or running. 

"Ain't no reason for 'im t'touch 'er ever, ya hear me Leroy?" Daryl snapped, the ending comment directed to a hastily agreeing Eugene, who was shrinking so much he suddenly seemed smaller than the woman next to him. "Swear t' Christ I’ll scalp that fuckin' mullet off yer head."

"It was an accident Daryl, he barely touched her." Rosita reiterated, seeming like she barely managed to stop from rolling her eyes before looking to Beth, concern flashing but not out of control like Daryl.

Beth liked him a whole lot.

He made her look calm and collected as she backed away one small step at a time from a full blown panic attack. He'd postured and yelled himself into place between her and the other two. Seeing movement she looked over to the group that had gathered by the shop door, peering out with varying levels of concern, she had to shake her head emphatically to stop Maggie's clear intent of rushing over to her.

If someone touched her right now she'd scream.

"Beth are you ok?" Rosita asked, and Beth was pulled back to the individuals nearest to her.

She nodded, taking an actual physical step back, away from all three of them. Daryl was half turning soon as her foot left the cracked asphalt. She managed to lock eyes with him for only a second, hoping and dreading that he'd follow her as she took another uncertain step backwards before spinning and treading blindly away from the shop.

He followed.

Of course he did.

She couldn't hear him, but the presence of him trailed goosebumps down her neck and arm on the right side. The panic was fading with every striding step she made, adrenaline canceling any twinges of discomfort she may have felt. That festering pit of anger roiled around her, sloshing through her organs and ribs until it scrabbled at the back of her throat.

She wanted to beat something bloody. Wanted to scream and rage until her lungs quit, her body feeling inadequate to house and expel the force of it. She hated that anyone had ever put a hand on her that she hadn’t wanted there. The one that blasted across cheek bone and forehead, the eyes staring at her emotionless as she bled, or the raking claw up her shirt searching manically for her breast, shoving her back into a hard desk. 

_ "You're not a fighter." _

He was dead and gone, she'd watched him die, helped him get there by feeding him to walker Joan and looting him while he'd gurgled up at her. Hell, he hadn't even got much of a chance to do anything besides shoving that grasping hand under her top pawing at her like he was entitled to anything that was her.

But that anger, fear, and near helplessness had swamped her for a moment as the idea of – what if slamming him over the head wasn't enough to knock him down? What if he was more competent then he seemed and was able to kill the walker and finish what he started with her against that desk?

She'd shoved the thought away with a bitter determination, but now, walking through...she finally glanced around, seeing thick tree cover. Now as she stormed through these woods it was like she hadn't gotten the chance to kill him good enough. She'd messed up something, because he was still haunting her, he and Dawn had chipped all the bright yellowness of her soul away and she was left with a washed out color that matched her too thin shirt.

She heard a stumbling groaning sound to one side and without another thought dodged towards it, hearing a cursed mutter not too far behind her. Taking a few more steps she saw a small four pack of walkers, straggling loosely in formation as they trudged through the fallen snapping branches around them. Without another thought she hurled herself at the nearest one, only drawing her knife once she'd pinned it to a tree by its neck.

It had once been a scrawny male, maybe around her age, but it didn't matter now, as she slammed her blade into its head. Dropping it she started for the next, only for it to jerk and fall with a bolt through its forehead. Not stopping she turned to the third closest, it had been a bigger man 30's to 40's rust colored hair and a beer gut. 

Too big for her to take on.

Perfect.

She pitched her weight into him with a yell, distantly registering Daryl's voice somewhere behind her. The walker snapped at her, body teetering with her force, awkward gate catching on a dead limb and she was falling to the ground on top of it. Her hand jarred free of the safe hold on the walker's neck and it turned its head to snap at her retreating flesh.

Beth immediately propelled herself off and to the side, rolling and rising to knees quick enough to bury her knife hilt deep in the walker's eye.

And just like that she wasn’t useless.

Gasping and smiling she made her way shakily to her feet. She felt so much better. Looking around she saw Daryl jerking a second arrow from the fourth walker, before he was turning to her. He was clearly livid, and Beth swallowed down her smile a little as he made slow deliberate steps towards her before stopping on the other side of the large redheaded walker she'd killed.

"Guess I changed after all huh?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood and the gale force storm flashing in his eyes. 

Usually calling back to their time at the moonshine shack or the funeral home caused a bit of a truce between them if they were irritated, or made them grin at one another like when they had crossed state lines.

But this time it seemed to infuriate him further and Beth felt the rest of the smile die on her lips. 

She hadn’t been on the receiving end of that look of his in a long time, maybe never, even when he’d been red faced and screaming less than a foot from the end of her nose, even then Beth didn’t think he’d looked at her this harshly. 

"Yeah an' you can't depend on anybody for anythin' right?" And the last word was bit out so hard she felt her Grady mask slide into place, going completely expressionless.

She was somehow piling on more mistakes. She’d done it out of reflex, before, at the hospital, showing anger or fear was not a good idea. She’d had to adapt, to learn to show nothing in the face of strong emotion. She didn’t know exactly why but it must have been the wrong response for Daryl. He searched her eyes for a moment before shaking his head and turning to head back the way they had come.

He didn't slow down.

And he didn't look back.

After a few stubborn moments, almost thinking she wouldn’t follow him, Beth’s feet started forward without a thought and she was tagging along in his wake. She should apologize, she thought distantly, but she wasn’t sure for what. Hadn’t he taken frustrations out on walkers more times than she could count?

Why couldn’t she do the same? He told her she was strong with one breath and then acted like she shouldn’t ever attempt a walker kill in the next. And so yeah, maybe she’d gone in a little more brazenly than was advisable, but why couldn’t act that way? He’d had her back, nothing was going to happen to her with him so close.

She watched his wing covered back as he swaggered down the road they’d made it back to, the shop in easy view at the end of it. She frowned a little to see that walk, he hadn’t used it in a long time, seemed like he only did when he was putting on a front about something. Like he was tough, and not tough like strong, but that he didn’t care.

Didn’t care what you said about him, or thought about him. Didn’t care if you didn’t trust him, or listen to his ideas. Didn’t care if you didn’t want him, didn’t want him around, didn’t want him at your back. Didn’t care, because did you see this dipping swaying didn’t give a fuck gate of his? Nothing you could do or say could touch him.

Because Daryl Dixon didn’t depend on anyone for anything…

And Beth knew, as she watched it take him all the way to the shop doors, that it was bullshit.

But she’d have to figure out why he was doing it later, because right now?

Right now she was wondering about the next chance she’d have at another walker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me :| we are so close to the bad stuff being over, just hang on tight, the tension will lead to important things like it usually does.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting and leaving kudos! All feedback is welcome and again thank you thank you for all the support.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit hits the fan and these two put the idiot in the 'idiots in love' tag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - You guys as always are THE best and I love getting to hear from all of you, long comment, short comment, everything! I enjoy every single one so thank you all so so much!
> 
> So this chapter picks up where the SHOW does after Beth and Tyreese's deaths, you know, with everyone trudging down the highway without any water and all that jazz, I'm sure y'all remember but I did include some modified lines from Rick which I'm sure you'll catch. 
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 11**

 

Daryl kept his mind blank as possible, walking down the two lane black top, sun working to dry up the sweat covering his skin as quick as it had every other type of moisture in the area.

He wasn’t going to think about how hungry he was, how tired, sure as hell wasn’t going to think about how thirsty he was. And even though she was only feet from him, the  _ very last _ thing he was going to think about was Beth Greene.

Or whoever the fuck the woman walking ahead of him seemed to be.

He still didn’t know what had caused the sudden shift that had happened going on a week ago now. Back when they’d had four working vehicles, food stores, peaches, and plenty of water.

The universe had finally started to balance itself out and as far as he could tell the expected ‘fuck you’ might be more than the group could take. He watched their slow trudging mosey, feet nearly adhering to the hot asphalt below, looking like they needed the leverage from the whole half of their bodies to pull that foot up and move it forward before leaning and starting the process over with the other foot. 

The white van they’d been able to pile up inside of like a can of sardines had been their last stroke of luck after one by one their vehicles had crapped out as they’d made a circuitous route around Richmond. The area had been picked almost clean, probably by the same group that slaughtered Noah’s neighborhood, and Daryl had felt his hackles rise every time they even  _ thought _ about staying in one place for more than a day.

Other predators were nearby, and  _ this _ wolf knew that the enemy pack was larger than his own.

He didn’t like how exposed he felt, how exposed they all were, traveling down roads or making loud stumbling marches through the trees. He missed being on the Greene farm, the prison, the funeral home, even though each base had been viciously taken from them at one point of another, times like these reminded Daryl why they’d always searched out another place to protect for as long as they could.

Life in the wild, on the road, with this many people, was nearly impossible to maintain.

The only problem now was that any base they might think about setting up was fodder for larger groups that were, if possible, even more ruthless than the ones they’d fought against in Georgia. The idea had been put forward for this reason, that they keep heading north since they were already this far. 

Daryl personally thought – that this was a  _ stupid _ fucking plan.

North meant population, population was people, people meant walkers, walkers got you killed quick. And even if they got lucky, and the herds had already come through the bigger cities that lay up the path they were thinking to take, or that the previous population there had been successfully evacuated – the people left in the wake of that kind of hoard or the ones that had been seen as unfit to travel with the ‘norms’ would be a scarier batch than Daryl thought worth tangling with. Who knew if these wolves were even the worst thing out there?

In his experience there was always something  _ worse _ .

_ For instance _ . 

His eyes narrowed farther, this time not due to the heat, and stared at the blonde head bobbing along twenty or so feet in front of him. Person could think seeing someone they cared about be shot right in front of them was the worst scenario in the world. And before, he’d have agreed, because hell, who could even imagine something as twisted as that? 

He couldn’t really judge that against what was happening now, after all she was still alive, for now anyway. But it wasn’t like she hadn’t been doing her damnedest to alleviate that little affliction. Every group of walkers they’d come across, even the ones that weren’t near enough to be considered a threat, she’d bee line towards them. Didn’t matter if people followed her or not, which they did, fuck sakes he was always one of them, but she’d have gone regardless. 

She’d fight like she was possessed and Daryl was still superstitious enough to wonder if that was actually the case. And it wasn’t like the girl was good, sloppy as fuck and getting by on youth and speed alone, moving in a way that said she knew she’d win. Which, in his experience, is what every cocky asshole thought, right up until they got themselves killed, usually looking surprised as hell when they died. 

If that weren’t enough, she’d finish it smiling every time, her and Abraham mirroring each other – but Daryl knew the man was also becoming concerned with Beth’s actions, and his smiling was starting to diminish noticeably. Daryl thought she looked crazier than a pet coon, and had he known this was the way she was headed he’d never have used it as a jibe back at that well-to-do house in the woods.

Maggie had sent constant questioning looks in the first days following the last words he’d spoken to Beth after what had happened outside of the bait and tackle shop. The best he’d been able to do, and even this was through gritted teeth, was shake his head in the brunette’s direction. Because like he’d thought a million times since then, he didn’t know what the hell had caused the shift.

She’d been getting better he’d thought, losing herself less often and for smaller amounts of time, but then the shit at the gas station had happened, the drive to Richmond, Noah’s house, and that shit again with Eugene, and she’d… 

He’d told Glenn what he’d seen, the man’s accidental touch of her bare midriff, Beth leaping back like she’d been electrocuted, and that was it. She wouldn’t talk about it, not to Maggie, or Carol, or Michonne, about Grady and what had caused the reaction. That’s what was reported to him anyway, even though he was  _ way _ too tangled in his own head to ask. He still watched her like a hawk, there wasn’t a single time including bathroom breaks, where Daryl didn’t know exactly where she was.

But he couldn’t bring himself to talk to her, or really even make eye contact. 

Glenn kept trying to talk about it – his sudden aversion of being near her, Rick had brought it up too, Carol had listened to him as he narrated the shit he’d seen in the woods – but she’d been the only one he’d felt he could tell. Carol would keep it to herself, he couldn’t tell anyone that was going to smother her with it, he had the almost certain feeling that it would only make her worse. But it was like his head, because of what he’d seen, was trying to distance and prepare itself for her death.

Like the  _ when _ of it – it wasn’t going to be far off.

He’d fight it off as long as he could, he’d protect her from everything including herself, but he didn’t know how long he’d be successful. She had to want it too, to live as much he wanted her to. But up to this point the other she’d refused to do besides talk, was train, despite several offers from just about every solid fighter they had besides him.

Her movements that day had been savage, eyes wild, not hearing him as he told her to just fucking  _ wait _ for him, he’d been giving her as much space as he could while she walked. Had been far back when she’d made it for the growling dead.  _ Too _ far almost. They’d begun closing in on her as she’d shoved the first walker into the tree with a yell like he’d never heard from her, lips jerked back in a snarl that bared those teeth that had always smiled so joyfully before.

He’d made the shot at the second walker, just as she’d turned to fight it herself, a part of him terrified she’d just thrown herself into his line of fire. She’d never even looked back at him. And then the last walker, watching as she threw herself at it screaming.  _ Fuck _ . He’d thought she’d been bit, his hands all but shaking as he took down the last stumbling opponent.

He’d taken unsteady steps towards her as she rolled and drove her knife into a decrepit socket, not a speck of blood on her. He’d caught his breath as he collected his bolts, seeing her wobbly rise like a new born foal, grinning big like the moonshine smile he kept in his memory, but with none of the warmth or happiness.

So Daryl was having a hard time figuring what was worse, while slogging through the heat that physically pressed against him making him want to melt into the road beneath him, if it was losing the person that made you want to keep living, or watching that person crack and change, becoming a being that didn’t seem to care if they lived or not – didn’t care who they brought with them on their spiral.

Should have seen this shit coming from what she’d done in that goddamn hospital, stabbing the leader of those cops, every one of them carrying a gun, and her family easy fodder at the end of the short hallway. But if Daryl thought he’d been mad and scared before, it was worse now. Now of course, he wanted her in so many different ways than he’d been able to  _ begin _ to imagine while they were at the funeral home.

His hands could remember running the length of a buttery smooth stomach he’d never touched, jeans that he’d never unbuttoned had snagged at the hairs on the back of his wrist. The tongue that had never left his mouth still had the salty taste of her neck, taste buds watering for another long dragging lick. He could still fucking  _ feel _ the weight of her, pressing hard where her shoulder blades dug into his chest, back arched along his stomach, as that soft tight ass ground down hard on his dick until he thought he might come right then. 

And now none of that shit, the phantom touches, the running wild of his imagination, was ever going to happen. 

He’d been willing to wait, to make sure she was ok, and now his gut had been proved right  _ again _ . She wasn’t ok, not at all. Daryl hated it – his gut – the situation – every goddamn thing. Because even if it wouldn’t have been right, he felt like he’d missed his chance, missed something huge.

Didn’t want to hope or make it about himself, but what if not doing something gave her less to hold onto somehow? Had him being careful made her think he didn’t want anything like that from her? With her?

Beth had to realize though, they’d spent half the time they’d been together without saying anything out loud, she’d known before. Known by the way he looked at her, by the way he  _ didn’t _ snap at her for looking at him. She was well fucking aware that he never liked people watching him too long or really at all, but with Beth he’d just nod at her, let her look all she wanted.  _ Liked _ it that she had.

But now the last thing he wanted was her eyes on him, didn’t want to risk them making eye contact at all. Sure, she didn’t seem to stare a million miles away anymore, but what that had evolved into was a sliver thin violence that he found all the more disconcerting. It bled into her eyes, marring her calmest and sweetest of looks or smiles. For Daryl, looking at her now was like hearing an uncanny lullaby that started with a familiar nostalgia but twisted a few notes in, raising the hair at the back of his neck and clenching along teeth and tendons.

He wasn’t above admitting when he was a coward, dealing with emotions, feelings and shit? 

Yeah he’d rather kiss Eugene – with tongue – or take on a herd of walkers, whichever, than to look too closely at  _ any _ of that. And the idea of trying to talk to her about it now, with that glinting viciousness always so visible, he just couldn’t. What good would it do? Wasn’t like the girl was gonna hear he was sweet on her and all of a sudden get over the shit that had happened.

Daryl might not know exactly what kicked off her new hunger for lashing out, but he was an old friend of taking on demons with nothing but fists and rage. Had been doing it  _ way _ before the dead upgraded the need for a knife to be in that whaling fist, and knew it gave a high that left an addictive need for more. 

He just never thought Beth would get hooked.  _ She’d _ been the one to tell him to leave his trauma behind him…

_ “…you have to put it away…you have to…or it kills you…” _

Good lord he’d taken that so much to heart, tried to, believed every word from those pale lips and prism blue eyes. Couldn’t have had any idea at the time she could ever be talking about herself. Beth, she was the one that was good with that, the words, the feelings. If it had been anyone else acting the way she was now, he’d have set Beth loose on them in a heartbeat, would’ve known they’d get straightened out quick. 

He didn’t know how to get things back to when she was asking for backrubs and nicknames, but he sure as shit missed her pestering him. She hadn’t said a word to him since that day in the forest, and he’d returned the favor, didn’t know if people asked  _ her _ about their sudden distance. 

Besides their closest family, the rest knew better than to come to him with questions.

So here he found himself, trudging down this damn Virginia road, thirst licking along his throat, feet fit to fall off at the ankles, and  _ not _ thinking about Beth Greene. He’d had no luck, none of them had, in the search for water and it was starting to feel dire. They had walkers following them, but not even  _ she _ had had the energy to catapult herself at them though, so that was fucking  _ something _ at least.

But he wasn’t thinking about it.

He saw Rick, who was ahead of Glenn, Maggie, and –  _ her sister _ – start looking around searching for something. Out of habit he increased his stride to pass the three in front of him, and make his way to his heavily bearded brother, knowing without thinking too much about it that he was what Rick had been trying to find.

With the water situation being like it was, Daryl didn’t have to guess real hard what Rick was wanting to talk to him about.

“There’s no sign?” He bit back his agitation, he understood that Rick couldn’t help but ask the same question of him a dozen times. If someone was going to find water, it was going to be him, just like if someone was going to bring in food, it was going to be him.

Rick had his kids and the group to worry about and it was Daryl’s job to take some of the weight from that burden, it  _ had been _ since Dale. It was also his job not to let even Rick know just how bad things were looking for them, if they couldn’t find water  _ very _ soon. So instead of growling or snapping like he wanted to, he shook his head, like he had the first dozen times he’d been asked.

“I know things have been hard.” Rick said suddenly, dropping his voice a little and Daryl kept his eyes set tiredly ahead of him. He was either in for questioning or a pep talk, he could tell by Rick’s tone. “Have been since, well since Atlanta really.” The back of his neck began to heat, Beth was easily within earshot, Rick either didn’t know or didn’t care but Daryl felt his body tense for whatever was about to finish the thought. “But lately you’re actin’ like you lost somethin’ back there.”

Daryl nodded, unwilling to argue, it felt like he had. No point in stalling, it’d just make Rick prod him more and increase the chances she’d hear. Plus, after everything, he couldn’t shake the thought that… _ hadn’t _ he lost her enough? Hadn’t he seen her slip away dozens of times over the last few weeks since Atlanta, body snatched like she wasn’t sitting there, him never knowing if she was going to find her way back.

Fuck, but hadn’t he  _ failed _ her enough too?

Rick opened his mouth to say more but a confused voice sounded from behind them, and Daryl saw the bearded head whip around in surprise. The heat obviously had gotten Rick twisted up in his own mind so much he apparently hadn’t noticed the small blonde and her companions that had migrated to the place behind him as they all walked tiredly along.

_ Great man, fuckin’ peachy awareness ya got there. _

“What’d ya lose?” He’d decided to ignore her soon as he’d heard the first note of her voice, if she didn’t want to open her damn eyes and see how things had gotten that was up to her. “Daryl, what’d you lose?”

And her voice sounded so bewildered, like she was trying to remember seeing him with a new knife, or without something important to him, like she had  _ no _ idea it was her. It made him want to scream at her, or laugh, but he wasn’t real big when it came to the chuckling.

“Nothin’.” Thirst and anger turned his tone gravelly, but he knew it wouldn’t matter to her how pissed he sounded, girl couldn’t quit no matter who told her to. “Leave it be.” 

She was quiet for only a few more steps before he felt a hand tug on his wrist, clammy even in the heat of the day, made shivers lance up his arm as he jerked from her grasp and spun on her.

“Daryl-” He felt fury beat out through his ribcage, he could see it in her eyes now – that she knew she was the thing from Atlanta he’d lost. But she obviously didn’t agree with the idea. 

And  _ who the fuck _ was she to tell him what he could  _ feel _ in his chest? 

Damn pumping piece of shit felt like someone had driven a nail through his spine and the idiot thing was banging into it again and again, turning itself into hamburger. Didn’t anything know when to just fucking  _ stop _ anymore?

“I said t’drop it girl, didn’ mean nothin’.” He gestured angrily towards Rick, noticing as he did so that they’d all stopped walking now, and that the silence was more consuming than the heat.

“You feel like you lost me again…like…like I’m lost?” Christ but she sounded so uncertain, how the hell was this news to her? Fine, she wanted him to talk about this painful shit, they could have it out right here in front of god and everybody.

Didn’t matter anymore.

“ _ Well didn’ I? _ ” The hot sun was turning her blonde hair near white, her eyes a soft blue that narrowed under slightly furrowed brows, damn pale skin flashing with sweat. Her gaze on his was throwing back nothing but more of that mild confusion – when  _ he _ felt like he was about ready to rip out of his skin. “ _ Ain’tcha? _ ”

“Hey look-” Rick tried, bouncing a slightly fussing Judith, only to be cut off by Beth’s denial.

“I’m not lost, I’m standin’ right here.” She said it like easy fact, her voice barely concerned. He didn’t want her like this, he wanted her yelling, screaming in his face. Maybe then he’d see something he recognized. His look was incredulous enough for her eyes to slip away from him and cast around the group, she must not have liked what she saw, her next words were a little more tentative. “I’m right  _ here _ .”

He figured it must be their reactions had her face sliding into that expressionless mask he hated so goddamn much. He knew he had one too, employed it often, but Beth wasn’t him and he never wanted her to be.

“Now ‘n then maybe, right now? I ain’t seein’ much’a  _ nothin’ _ .” He was feeling a strange amount of desperation, knew his words were cruel, but they had been before – it’d gotten a hell of a rise out of her then. 

Even if that new violence she was so fond of took over, maybe if she got wound up enough to swing at him, maybe then he could break into the alien personality she’d been packing around with her since Atlanta.

It was most likely a stupid fucking plan – he was gonna run with it.

“Daryl.” Maggie interjected weakly, trying to defend her sister but at the same time they both knew that most of time these days the Beth looking back at them wasn’t who she was. 

She’d probably smack him across the face  _ just _ for thinking they had a right to weigh in on that, on who exactly she was. It wasn’t like he wanted her weak though, wasn’t looking to keep her that little girl from the farm who didn’t know how to save her own skin. But he couldn’t stand to watch her like she was now, emotionless or reckless, the extremes giving him whiplash like a motherfucker.

“No Maggie, it’s fine, apparently Daryl has had somethin’ t’say to me for the last three weeks and is only gettin’ to it now.” Her statement was followed by a challenging head jerk that managed to make his blood turn scalding in his veins. “Go on then.”

He felt his lip pull back, neck muscles tightening, barely hearing when Michonne said, “Now might not be the best time for this.” He could see the walkers in his peripheral, but they were still a good ways off, and he was worked up enough to do this  _ now _ .

“No, now’s the perfect time, g’on Daryl.” Beth agreeing with him was followed by her raised brows, she looked at him like he was some misbehaving student – she was waiting for his answer as to why he was acting up.

Like he didn’t have a  _ reason _ for fuckin’ acting up. 

Good she wanted to hear what he had to say? 

He’d make sure she heard him  _ real _ good.

“You should’a  _ never _ pulled that shit in Grady.” 

Might as well start from the beginning, this way he’d get a chance to hear what the hell she’d been thinking. Just the mention of the place made his heartrate ratchet up until he could feel it beat against his throat. 

“I was tryin’ to save Noah.” She answered with a shrug.

_ Oh for – _

“ _FUCK_ _Noah!_ ” 

He could see the man sidle farther away from him, but Daryl didn’t have anything he wanted to do more than hear what Beth Greene was about to say, and that included punching the skinny bastard in the face.

“Someone had ta’ stop Dawn, I  _ had’ta _ try.” And now they were getting into it, her words were picking up steam even if she continued to look at him the same cold way. “Wasn’t gonna let her keep snatchin’ people an’- ”

Oh she wasn’t going to let the woman keep hurting folks,  _ fine _ , that sounded like Beth, but that didn’t touch on what she’d done.

“An’ how were you plannin’ t’ stop ‘er?” Daryl sneered, taking a deliberate step towards her, his voice hitting that truly brash Georgian white trash tilt that made him sound too much like his old man. “World’s tinniest pair a’ scissors!?”  

“She was hurtin’ people.” Beth’s voice rose a bit at his volume, and she motioned to her face to the shiny scars that swept in arches below her eye and above her brow. Trying to repel his accusation as she continued. “Hittin’ ‘em an’ breakin’ ‘em down. Tellin’ everyone how  _ weak _ they were all the time.”

_ There _ it was. That’s how the bitch had gotten to her. Daryl had suspected as much, that kind of thought had plagued Beth for a real long time. She’d had that raw nerve of it prodded steady on top of getting hit and whatever else she hadn’t told him about while she was there.

But didn’t she trust them –  _ him _ – to get it done without risking what she had?

“Then ya tell us.” He snapped, jabbing a finger towards the silent group. “Ya tell  _ me _ ! An’ we take care of it like we always do, ya don’ go off an’ act like ya ain’t got no  _ goddamn _ sense!”

Something he said finally struck, she crossed her arms defensively against his barrage and shook her head stubbornly.

“Couldn’ know for sure if you’d all be willin’ ta’ take the risk, to care about the others once ya had me back-” 

Daryl couldn’t stop himself from lunging another step forward, the space between them becoming incredibly small. Maggie made a small movement towards him. By taking in the sight of him, the tendons standing out on his neck and the flushed rage all over his face, she probably thought that her little sister was in harm’s way.

Couldn’t know that Beth had seen all this before.

The blonde didn’t take her eyes off him, a little something kindling back behind those blues of hers, as she raised a hand in her sister’s direction to keep her back. Beth knew, always had, that he could holler and curse, break shit even, but he’d never touch her – not in anger – not ever.

“Don’t ya talk t’ me about  _ carin’ _ ! All  _ night _ girl!” Her eyes flashed but he couldn’t stop now, she’d get her answer even if he didn’t want to give it. “Tha’s how long I ran down that goddamn road after them  _ sonsabitches _ took ya!” 

He couldn’t care less that every person he cared about was going to hear what he said next, might judge him for his words. He needed to make sure she knew what he told her was the truth, apparently showing her hadn’t been enough. His voice dropped to a dangerous pitch, words clawing out of his throat like hellhounds, rougher than even he had heard in a while.

“Don’t act like I would’a thought twice ‘bout shootin’ that bitch if ya’d asked me to.”

He can feel the heat rolling off of him, hear the walkers closing the distance steadily but still a safe enough ways off. Beth in front of him, looking shocked for the first time in over a week, but it hadn’t been enough. He could still see that semi-violent shine, he couldn’t think of another way to explain it, but it felt like it was keeping her from feeling anything he was saying too deeply.

And just like that she was coming back at him, still not mad, still not really yelling. But at least she called him out a little.

“What about you?” She asked, swallowing down some of her surprise from what he’d said. “Ya get mad and look. We’re right back to where we started. I ain’t the only one messin’ up here.”

His tongue collided with the back of his teeth, the sound letting her know exactly what he thought of her little diversionary tactic. Acting like she was willing to admit to doing something in need of changing in order to turn things around on him. Like they had to work on shit  _ together _ or not at all, classic, girl had no idea how much manipulative bullshit he’d lived through with Merle.

She wasn’t even cracking the top ten.

Beth kept going like the glare he gave her was a sign she’d turned the tables on him. 

_ Fuckin’ rookie. _

“Yeah, remember that Daryl? Moonshine and arson ringin’ any bells?”

“Wait  _ moonshine _ ?” Maggie interjected and Beth flipped a glare her way – and just like that whatever hope he’d felt that this little altercation was going to hit pay dirt, it all disappeared.

“Arson?” Rick asked then, more to himself than either of them.

“Walkers.” Michonne muttered, hand back on the hilt of her sword, the group needed to get moving if they were going to maintain a good distance between them and the dead that were steadily plodding towards them.

Feeling like he could one punch kill any of those walkers right about now, but knowing it wasn’t actually the case, Daryl turned away from Beth and started walking to the tree line.

“I’m gonna go look for water.”

“I’m coming too.” Beth said quickly, passing him as he stalled at the edge of the road in surprise and agitation.

“Nah, no way.”

“Come on, you know how much ya like to  _ chaperone _ me.” She snapped over her shoulder, and after growling deep in his throat he followed her. 

Because of course he did.

From behind him he heard Maggie’s voice call out.

“Daryl!  _ Moonshine _ !?  _ Really _ !?” 

“I’s peer pressured!” He yelled back, just as the trees obscured his view of them. 

 

**TWD**

 

The group on the road started moving, quickening their pace to put more distance between them and the pack of walkers trailing them. It was quiet, as every member thought about the amount of drama they’d just witnessed. Thoughts ranging from concern to derision at the two people who couldn’t seem to get out of their own way.

“Am I right,” Eugene began, drawing everyone’s focus, “to hazard that it is perfectly and undeniably clear to everyone in this group, that those two individuals are one hundred percent, bonafide, head over heels, better or worse, if you’re a bird I’m a bird, in love with one another?”

“Oh yeah.” Glenn answered nodding, half of a laugh in his voice.

“Yep.” Maggie added, lips quirking in a smile as she remembered her sister’s red faced denial.

There are other snorts and nods throughout the group, including Father Stokes, who had been under the impression for a while that the two were a recognized couple right up until the night at the gas station.

“I think it’s clear to everyone besides the uh…birds?” Rick finished uncertainly, not understanding the reference. He’d have to ask Michonne later, she tended to be better with that sort of thing, even if she didn’t offer the information aloud.

“I think Daryl especially would totally benefit from your analysis there Eugene, you should tell him, soon as they get back.” Eugene didn’t seem to appreciate Tara’s humor as she clapped him on the back affectionately.

Everyone knew he’d been avoiding the couple like the plague, spurring Beth to inquire a few nights ago if he were still actually  _ with _ the group. He had just been happy to stay out of her and the redneck’s way, knowing that in the mood Daryl had been in, it wouldn’t have taken much to elicit another beating.

“Now Tara,” Abraham admonished cheerfully, not remotely concerned about the swarming dead that doggedly pursued them, “if I still wanted Eugene here to meet an untimely and squealing demise I might just back that play.” He laughed tiredly as the mulleted man shot him a disapproving glance and the group continued farther down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that fight wasn't too traumatic, it was the first scene that ran through my head, it's the one that made me want to put a story line together so I hope y'all didn't hate it too much :)
> 
> All feedback is welcome even if it's to yell at me ^.~


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Surprise you beautiful people! In case y'all missed it, there's a new chapter for each of my stories out today to celebrate Father's Day. The vote was tied for so long and everyone was giving such detailed reasons as to why their favorite fic should be updated and I'm still far enough ahead on chapters so I thought what the heck!
> 
> There are no doubt specific notes that could be used for this chapter but I am sleepy and have work tomorrow lol so just include any questions you may have in a review if you choose to leave one and I'll get back to you quick I promise.
> 
> Thanks to everyone reading this for the support, I hope you all have a wonderful Father's Day.
> 
> And as always I wish you very very happy reading!

**Chapter 12**

 

Beth exhaled her tenth irritable breath in a row as she nearly chased after the winged back in front of her. Daryl had overtaken her within the first several feet of them hitting full tree cover. The papery flesh of leaves tickled along her cheeks and arms as she fought her way through the underbrush, underlying branches caught at her clothes and snagged her feet. And ahead of her, Daryl crashed through, snapping and crunching, keeping her easily oriented to his location when the greenery like a hundred small waving hands obscured her view.

The noise he made nagged at the back of her mind. Daryl didn’t tend to make a sound in the woods, or anywhere else really, his foot falls would catch people off guard continually. No one heard that man unless he wanted them to, even if he were right on top of them. Not until he’d snapped a branch to get your attention, or killed you, those were usually the only results when the hunter was in his element. Beth tried not to tie the volume of his movements to anything she  _ personally _ should feel guilty about, but it was a constant itch along her spine.

She’d been feeling so blissfully free this last week, knew Daryl had been mad at her, but had been sure he’d see what she could do, and finally start to realize just how strong she could be. Looking at his rigid frame making its way angrily in front of her, she had to admit resignedly to herself that that had apparently  _ not _ happened. Worst of all, it was clear he wasn’t the only one thinking she’d acted irrationally since Atlanta.

Beth felt her lips purse as she gritted her teeth, trying not to trip over the next fallen log that was in her path. Her pulse was still rocking away hard in her chest and neck, heart trying to make a break for it up her throat at the memory of everything Daryl had said. 

That he’d ran all…that she shouldn’t have…and the things he was willing to…

She shook her head stubbornly, all of it was going to swamp her, maybe send her backwards to how she’d been right after the hospital. And God knew they hadn’t been  _ happy _ with that either. Who knew if she could – could get back to how she was before? Had they even asked her who, or how she wanted to be?

And there he was, stomping off in front of her, not talking again. Man could only communicate through scowling or screams, but  _ she _ was the one with the problem? She made a little derisive noise and saw his head snap to the side, clearly hearing her. 

Hadn’t she been patient with him? Couldn’t he offer her the same?

Freakin’ redneck was seriously messing with her week long good mood. Just dead set on being grumpy as all get out. She was wondering just how far he planned to march out his irritation when they reached a tall grass filled meadow. The long strands reached nearly to her waist, and she saw him pause, casting squinted eyes in every direction, his breath still seeming to thunder through his chest.

“So.” She began, stopping behind his tensed back and crossing her arms across her chest, ready to finish whatever he’d started out on the road. “You have anythin’ else you were wantin’ to holler at me about?”

He turned to her slowly, eyes in a slit, jaw open, but his lips set in a harsh line, as it jerked down and to the side slightly. Face flushing, or maybe still heated from before, he was gripping the strap of his crossbow until his knuckles were bleached against the rest of his tanned skin. She glared back, sure that their looks would signal for two  _ other _ people, a step towards sudden violence 

It didn’t matter how aggressive his body language, Beth hadn’t been truly scared of Daryl even when he was jerking her into a hold, one broad hand almost palming her breast as he’d taken aim at the walker outside of the shack that day. Not even when he’d reloaded and wrapped that thickly muscled arm around her neck.

Daryl wouldn’t hurt her, not physically at least, not in  _ any way _ if he could help it.

But she couldn’t keep thinking down that track, it would curve back around to her, and everything that had happened this last week. She knew it. And all of that…she just didn’t want to examine closely, not yet.

“C’mon Daryl, ya never needed an audience to yell at me before.”

“G’on an’ keep actin’ like I’s the only one sayin’ fucked up shit that day.” He nodded, flicking his fingers towards her and then back off towards the forest, like if she looked in the direction of his stiffened digits she’d see the rundown shack through the low hanging branches. “Ain’t nobody here that yer gonna sell that shit to.”

He’d started doing that thing again while he said this last bit, like he did every time they’d fought, crowded himself into her space. Considering the way it made her body heat, wrapping her arms and midriff in a temperature that rivaled the summer sun pressing against her, Beth momentarily wondered if she didn’t piss him off on purpose. Or at least, if she wouldn’t do so in the future, recreate this need he seemed to pick up, to occupy the same breath as her when he was raging.

But his words did make her brow furrow, they obviously remembered the conversations they’d had that day  _ very _ differently. “What’re you talkin’ about now?”

“Was fucked up of you t’say that shit t’me.” He just about spit the words out at her, shaking his head as she replied, his face clearly saying he thought she was faking her confusion.

“Which part?”

“Las’ man standin’!” He yelled, slapping himself in the chest for emphasis, swiping hand almost brushing her forearm due to his closeness. “Christ woman, ain’t nobody  _ in _ this group knows how bad I hate losin’ people like you do.” She watched, trying to tamp down her worry as his breathing increased and he took a slight step back from her, his next words obviously difficult to get through his throat. “Tellin’ me I’d miss your ass when you was gone, the fuck kinda person has t’ twist the knife in the wound like that?”

Her steady feeling of being, impervious, untouchable, the buffer that had kept the haze away was starting to fracture under his look of angry distress and she could feel herself panic.  _ Damn _ him for trying to drag her back down to that cold grasping thing that pawed at her kicking feet. Her lips pulled back from her teeth, but her tone sounded flat, not nearly the snarl that her face held.

“I was just tryin’ to prepare you.” Her eyes scanned him with dislike, why couldn’t he just  _ leave _ her be? She was going to crumble apart at his feet if he kept looking at her like that. “Isn’t my fault if you went and got all  _ attached _ anyway.”

The moment the words left her mouth Beth desperately took a breath in, hoping to suck the sentence back inside her idiot chest. 

Daryl straightened slowly, face going blanker than she’d ever seen, ever could hope to mimic. His gaze held hers and Beth felt a shiver shake her spine like a wolf trying to snap its prey’s neck. He stepped closer until he loomed over her, stretching that half a foot of difference in their heights until Beth felt her vertebrae want to snap with the pressure of craning back to hold his eyes, gone so steely she could barely make out the blue. 

“Tell me again how you ain’t just another  _ dead _ girl.” The words hissed through barely moving lips, and his voice and stare made her want to curl into a ball at his booted feet.

She began to say his name, to say  _ anything _ she could force through, but he was already striding passed her, heading back towards the road, modifying his angle no doubt to intercept the group. She followed him as soon as the feeling began to return to her lifeless body. 

_ What is wrong with me? _

He must be right, she must be dead and buried to say such a thing to him, no beat to her heart no spirit to feel. It wasn’t  _ possible _ for her to say something that horrible to Daryl Dixon of all people for any other conceivable reason. She’d just  _ thrown _ it in his face, looking all but disgusted, over him  _ caring _ about someone, caring about  _ her. _ Daryl – the soul so abused he had issues letting  _ anyone _ in at all. 

Sweet Jesus. 

He’d probably have taken it better if she’d hauled off like a psycho and punched him square in the face. Her stomach rolled so hard at the idea she had to swallow the sudden pressure back down her strained throat.

This was bad, sure she’d been mad at him but…What she’d said, for Daryl, it wasn’t just mean or petty, it was cruel. She was having issues catching her breath, like those terrible words she’d strung together out of glass and desperation were cutting their way back through her gullet and into her lungs. Back where they’d started, just like she’d wanted.

Daryl was moving ahead of her so swiftly it felt like he was running from her, fleeing as quick as he could, and who could blame him? She couldn’t hold the air in her chest long enough to call out to him if she’d wanted. And she was so freaked out by what she’d said, Beth wasn’t entirely sure if she  _ did _ want to.

How the hell was she supposed to face those blazing eyes of his if she  _ was _ able to call him back?

Had she meant to hurt him back then too? It hadn’t felt like it, she’d been so – awed – by him at the time. He was everything she wasn’t, strong and skilled, he could survive no matter how hard things got and she’d barely been able to take out a single walker on her own. 

But she’d heard it hadn’t she? That waver that had been in his voice, as she’d watched him, feeling so calm and sure while she talked.  _ Sure _ that she’d be one more person to leave him to do what he was so amazing at.

Surviving.

She hadn’t thought for a moment that her words could really hurt him, thought maybe he just didn’t like the idea that she knew it was going to happen. Never realized that he wouldn’t  _ want _ to survive if her and the others were all gone. 

Pulled suddenly from her ever darkening thoughts, Beth’s next breath in hitched as she watched Daryl sprint forward with a curse. Picking up her own speed, she had time to take in the scene before her, the group had stopped to take out the group of walkers that had been trailing them. Several of the dead were crawling vainly at the incline leading to the small group that had positioned themselves on a bridge.

She saw immediately what had caused him to go pelting off, Rick was neck deep in biters and in horror Beth watched as Daryl dove into the fight, his movements obscured by his winged back, she was only able to see when he flung the walker from him, hands looking bloody before he released his hold and turned to the next threat. Beth was next to him in what felt like an instant, she stuck to his side, heart ricocheting around her ribcage. Stayed on his left, reigning in her urge to dart for the first target she saw. 

When the fighting was finally over, she sheathed her knife with the quick ease of repetition, turning immediately to the heavily breathing man next to her. Without much thought, Beth reached out and snapped a grip around the hand she’d seen covered in blood and brought the grime covered fingers up for inspection. 

There wasn’t a mark on him, she couldn’t stop the happy half-sob that left her throat. It must have been a fresh walker, or maybe, maybe she’d just panicked because of her awful words to him.

“I thought you’d gotten bit, ya scared me t-” The words seized somewhere along her sternum as she looked up to him. 

_ Death _

He’d scared her half to death, thinking he’d been bit, and what had he thought every time she’d jumped into each fight? Had she even said anything to warn the rest of them, or had she just expected them,  _ him _ , to follow? She couldn’t remember, and from the steadily neutral look he was studying her with, she’d bet that answer was no. Well wasn’t that just God or her daddy telling her to get her act together?

The warm friction of his rough hand, sliding through the two of hers that had been cradling it, brought her back to him. His focus flickered to each of her eyes, before rocking back a step, holding her gaze until he turned without a word and went to help Rick check on the rest of the group.

They continued their moderate path down the road after that, Beth ran the past few weeks through her mind. Specifically the last week and the fight she’d been having on and off with Daryl today. It wasn’t admitting she was wrong that was tripping her up, it was that she honestly didn’t know if she could make the promise it wouldn’t happen again. Her behavior, the way she was feeling, seemed so far out of her control to the point she hadn’t noticed how out of character it was for her. 

Hadn’t wanted to notice maybe.

But saying that…to  _ Daryl _ …she was not that person – had sworn not to allow what had happened to make her as wicked as the ones that had tormented her. She couldn’t figure out why the words had snagged at her conscious so much and not the constant danger she’d been putting them in. Maybe she was just used to them, to him, always being able to handle whatever fight that happened. 

She had a lot of maybes right now.

But she needed to decide while the relative quiet gave her the time, what she was going to say to Daryl to make things better, what apology she could give him that he’d believe. 

Farther down the road the group slowed when they came across a smattering of cars stretched along the two lane highway. Beth was systematically looting the vehicles on auto pilot when she heard Maggie take a stuttering breath the next car up from hers. Peeking around her own car’s trunk hurriedly, she saw her sister gazing down into the open back compartment of the four door she’d been scavenging.

She made her way over as Glenn came to a stop at Maggie’s hip, the two looking into the trunk silently. Coming along Maggie’s other side, Beth took her own quick gander inside, knowing at once what had pulled her sister up short.

There was a blonde walker, tied and gagged, confined to the small space and growling with the need to get at them. Her limp hair seemed to clack against sunken cheeks, catching on the split and rotting skin covering the bones of its face. Struggling awkwardly to crawl in their direction without covering much ground, the binds keeping her mostly in place.

_ This could be me.  _

Beth mused, keeping the bubble of hysterical laughter firmly in her chest where it could live and die, hopefully sooner rather than later. It could still easily be her in that trunk, in a manner of speaking. She’d not get much further if she kept pelting into groups of walkers like she had been. 

Her mind was rather clear on this point, she wished she knew if it was simply the horror of hurting Daryl, the man that had done more than her own blood relative to keep her safe and to get her back, or if the near mania she’d been in had just begun to wane.

“Please tell me he was able to make ya realize how you’ve been handlin’ things can’t keep goin’ like they have.” Beth’s head turned to look into tear filled green eyes, Maggie watched her, face desperate and pleading.

She hesitated only a moment before nodding, knowing it was more complicated than the simple action could encompass, but words were getting lodged one by one, her own little traffic jam stretching from lungs to the back of her teeth.

“I know I ain’t got a lot of room to…I don’t know.” Lips flattened and bowed in a desperate attempt by Maggie not to begin crying as she continued. “To scold, or tell ya what I think you should do Bethy, not after…but it’s tearin’ me up. Tearin’  _ all _ of us to pieces Beth.” 

Feeling the burning behind her own eyes, Beth tugged herself from the locking green gaze, nodding more jerkily as she blinked quickly. She watched as Daryl headed back into the woods, wanting so much to follow him, trail at his heels like a morose puppy, but she knew he was going to need longer before he’d even be  _ willing _ to hear her out.

Problem was, she wasn’t real sure how much patience she’d stored up, she’d have to hold on as long as she could. But she highly doubted it would last until the end of the day. She couldn’t have Daryl hating her, it caused even more panic than the chance of dipping back into that foggy mess in her head did.

She watched for him steadily, wincing a little to herself when he came back looking honest to God more depressed by whatever he’d found or didn’t find while out there. They’d been resting when he appeared in front of them, making slow exhausted steps to them from across the road. The group was already on edge from Abraham’s decision to begin drinking and Beth could feel the crackle through the seated members when Daryl shook his head at Rick’s silent question.

When Sasha deftly shot the snarling dog pack that skulked out of the tree line a few minutes after Daryl had sat down to rest, shrugging at her brother’s aghast expression after she did, Beth watched while Daryl skinned and cleaned the collection of kills.

She wondered, feeling near heartbroken at his emotionless face, if he were thinking of the dog that had come to the funeral home. The chunks of tough meat rolled around like greasy clumps of char in her mouth, as she tried without success to figure out what she should say to him.

She finally got her chance to get him alone when she heard his and Glenn’s voices talking behind her quietly once they’d started down the road again. They were always walking, and searching, not far off from the dead like that she figured… 

“Don’t” Daryl growled, obviously irritated by something her brother-in-law had done or maybe had said, too low for her to hear.

“Hey man, we can make it, we’re together.” She felt guilt wash over her once again at the words, not surprised when Daryl sounded less than impressed with Glenn’s optimism.

“Tell them I went lookin’ for water.”

She turned her head to watch him trudge off the road and out of sight, tapping Maggie’s arm quickly she motioned in the direction he’d gone. Eyes begging her sister to understand without Beth having to explain and possibly losing him, but Maggie simply gave her an understanding nod, her green eyed expression looking grateful for some reason. 

Relieved.

The trees around her didn’t give her much clue to the way he’d gone, but she followed what trail she was able to with slow uncertainty. Her heart ticked up a few beats when she thought she’d lost him and was now traipsing around lost. Daryl was going to be even more irritated at her if he had to come track her dumbass down. She followed the lightly sloping land to where a break in the ever-pressing tree cover was just visible.

Making it clear Beth sighed out some of the tension that had begun to gather along her spine when she spotted him not too far off. Propped up against one of the many trees smoking, she could even see he’d managed to find an old barn that stood lonely farther down the hillside. She was taking a hesitant step when her body locked up rigid.

Daryl took the cigarette he’d been smoking, and without any kind of warning that she’d been able to see, put the burning point out on his hand. She swore she could hear the skin sizzle and bubble under the unrelenting heat as he drove the ember-hot piece downward. Not for the last time Beth wondered if she were hallucinating, part of her wished it was the case this time, because there was no way she could otherwise believe that Daryl Dixon was harming himself.

Not the man that had thrown her own self-mutilation at her with such angry disdain. She wasn’t sure when, but before she was able to decide on what to say, or do, her feet were flying over the long springy grass that separated them.

And just before she reached him, a sound she’d heard before,  _ never _ thought she’d ever hear it the once – let alone twice.

Daryl Dixon was crying.

Shivering sobs that rattled out of him, shuddering his frame, wracking broad shoulders and bowing a sweat drenched head. Beth wasn’t sure if her feet were even touching the ground anymore as she moved. He heard her coming only moments before she was on top of him, literally.

She felt the iron set of his body as her once pumping arms slung themselves around his neck, flexing around him like constricting snakes in preparation for him to try and shake her away from him. Because why wouldn’t he? Daryl hated touching in general, but a bear hug while crying?

Well she’d pulled it off before, but had only managed it by out stubborning him.

She pulled herself against him hard, his arms and hands getting caught along her shirt and chest before being able to slide out of the way. And then she was flush against him, like she’d been a couple of weeks ago in that house back in Georgia. Torsos pressed hard together, her knees aching where they’d slammed into the ground, mere inches from his crotch, thank the Lord she’d been able to estimate her landing within the blur of her need to reach him.

Her face was close to being forcefully exfoliated by the bark at his back, but she refused to let go. She became dimly aware that she was speaking to him, rasping cried things that twisted up her lungs and fell from her mouth as quickly as she could speak them. Almost childish, completely begging and unashamedly so, trying to get anything she could out before he could start trying to pry her off him.

Because why wouldn’t he?

“Please!  _ Please _ don’t.” 

She sucked in a breath that only managed to fill up half her lungs before expelling without her permission, and she didn’t know what part of this she didn’t want him to do, give up on her, take her angry words as gospel, hurt himself, cry, or throw her off him, probably all of it. 

“I am  _ so _ sorry. I swear, I swear, I  _ swear _ I am.” He was still motionless against her and after releasing a choked sob she pressed her face to the side of his head, urgently hoping somehow that he’d listen and not stonewall her.

Her lips snagged along the shell of his ear, nose in his hair, forehead to his crown and she kept talking, feeling as it spilled out of her even as she knew she must be strangling him with her clasped arms around his neck.

“You gotta know I didn’ mean it,  _ please Daryl _ , I was outta my head. You know, you  _ have’ta _ know.” 

Maybe she was  _ still _ out of her head. It certainly wasn’t a conscious decision to start nuzzling into him like she was. Mouth pressing harder against the cartilage underneath it, nose making small rifling trips through the sweat streaked places in his hair that it could reach. Her teeth repeatedly nicking the ridges it came into contact with, voice dropping to a tear harsh whisper.

“No one’s  _ ever _ taken care of me like you have.” She was pressed too solidly against him not to feel the shiver that rolled through him, worried that this was the tipping point she babbled even faster. “Please tell me I didn’ mess this up.”

Her voice broke hard during the last sentence, another chest pressing cry and she didn’t know how she hadn’t gotten shoved away just for how she was panting into his ear, tears rolling along the curving edges of it. She knew she was about to suffocate them both, but couldn’t force herself to pull away, if anything wanted to get closer, to feel more of him. Didn’t think about what she was maybe revealing to him with her panicked words.

Wouldn’t have cared if she had.

She gasped out a sob when she felt uncertain fingertips and then palms slide along the back of her ribs until they rested on her shaking spine. Her whole body seemed to sag with relief and she felt Daryl’s arms tighten around her almost roughly as she slumped a little to one side. She slackened her own hold the barest amount so she could drop her face to the side of his neck, hoping with everything in her that each movement wasn’t the one that would have him pushing her back.

Breathing with quaking gasps, trying to calm herself down, she kept her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she tried counting the ticking jumps of his pulse against her cheek. Once he seemed certain that she wasn’t going to fully collapse or pass out, Daryl began stroking soothing hands up and down the length of her back. Blunt fingertips pressing on the track down, warm palms stroking and rubbing on the trip up, tugging at her shirt enough for the minute breeze to lick along her drenched flesh.

The longer she went without more tears she was able to take more steadily controlled breaths as his movements remained constant along the contours of her back. She wanted to get a look at his face but didn’t want to risk the separation in case he didn’t allow her to return to her current spot, which she discovered she was quite happy with.

She’d become aware by degrees of how good he smelled, pressed like she was to his throat, even sweat covered and going on probably more than a week without bathing. Daryl’s body odor was wrapped up with fresh grass and heavy dirt, he was musky and a little sweet, Beth couldn’t get quite enough, funny what a world without Axe and Old Spice could get you used to.

His pressure was becoming more noticeable against her muscles, large hands pressing her more soundly into his chest, and she was suddenly aware of the warmth swamping her body. At first she had thought it was their combined body heat, not to mention the baking sun that was striking at them through the limited shade of the tree they were under.

Stiffened fingers ran from her shoulder blades to the small of her back stopping just shy of her butt and Beth choked on the moan that slipped through her lips and buffeted itself lightly against his neck. She did her best to not freeze up in his hold, feeling as his hands smoothed out on each side her waist, palms and pads of his fingers sliding hard on their way over her ribs. 

One hand continued up until it curled around the back of her neck, rubbing a little back and forth while his grasp tightened and loosened rhythmically. His other hand pressed down the track of her spine once again, fingers stalling with the first few pads on the swell of her ass.

She huffed out another unsteady sound, mouth tilting up to place a half chaste kiss on his heated skin that twitched against her parted lips. Instead of pulling away, she felt Daryl turn his head towards her, and taking a breath for courage she pulled back to look at him.

Cheeks tear streaked and a little rosy, she didn’t get a very good look because his eyes met hers, and she felt the warming soak through her limbs, that dropped with a heaviness to her suddenly clenching pelvic muscles. A throbbing heartbeat joined the clenching as Beth continued to stare into that blue gaze that had gone unmistakably black. His grip on her neck and lower back wouldn’t have allowed her much distance, not that she was trying for any.

And feeling like she had minutes ago on the other side of the clearing they sat in, she felt unable to stop her next movement as her mouth moved towards his. It wasn’t that everything around her slowed, but that every other nerve ending in her quieted until the only things she felt, were the places his hands touched, or his chest and stomach pressed into hers. Eyes closing – her lips tingled like everything in her was focused into a few spare inches of her flesh.

She sucked in his expelled breath, felt the first delicious prickles of his scruff, the ghosting pressure of sun chapped lips, before his head was jerking back to slam into the tree behind him, a groaning creak coming from bow on his back. His arms and hands flew off her and went up on either side of him in a stopping motion that her newly opened eyes couldn’t miss.

“Dar-”

“Stop.” His voice was all rough ice and salt melt in her ears, eyes digging into her like she had her knife laying along his jugular. Blue rimmed black all desperate anger and confusion. “ _ Don’t _ .”

Wanting to question him, but knowing that level of panic was close to snapping loose, Beth carefully started unwrapping her arms from his neck. Bodies separating one sweat soaked inch at a time as she lengthened the distance between them. Her hands were still resting on his shoulders when he grasped each wrist and pushed them towards her quickly. In a move that only his bow and leather vest could save the skin on his back from, she watched as he shoved himself roughly back and up. 

He sidestepped her once he’d regained his footing and began walking quickly back towards where they’d come from. Beth’s mind was reeling as she watched the familiar picture his retreating form made, fast strides covering the grassy terrain easily.

How had she misinterpreted that so completely? He’d been running his hands so adamantly against her, she could’ve sworn she felt his unsteady breathing knocking against her own. Had he seriously not felt the kiss on his neck? Or had that seemed platonic enough to pass as one of apology?

Had he never felt  _ anything _ else for her at all?

She shook her head dazedly. No. It was much more likely that he had, but her jumbled up actions and emotions had spooked him. 

_ Jesus, Mary, and Joseph…  _

She was such a stupid little idiot! She’d been fighting with him all day, had basically thrown it in his face that he’d become  _ attached _ to her – like it was a bad thing, like it hadn’t been more than mutual. And then to top off that stupidity, she’d tried to kiss him. She couldn’t even discern where she was trying to sabotage herself anymore. 

Her eyes blurred, but when she got done blinking them clear she realized there was still a figure standing at the top edge of the clearing. Dragging her gaze up his body she found him staring broodingly at her, once their eyes locked she saw him jerk his head back and to the side, beckoning her to join him.

Hastily she climbed to her feet and half jogged until she reached him. They stood a couple feet apart wordlessly looking at one another, and she did her best not to blink or shy away from the force his eyes were placing against her own.

After what felt like lifetimes, her soul and lungs being steadily charred by blue flame, he tore his sight from hers and turned to head back into the trees.

After one more shuddering breath she was able to follow him, careful to stick close, but not crowd him, as he moved silently through the fallen ground clutter of the woods. Wondering as she did just how much worse this day could get. She snapped her arm out to rap silent knuckles on the nearest tree.

_ No need to jinx yourself Bethy, doin’ cruddy enough on your own, don’t need any more bad luck. _

She tried to ignore the superstitious worry, deciding to focus on the bow and wings in front of her instead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and all feedback is appreciated. :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awe lawd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - I can't even with you amazing people. I am so thankful everyone enjoyed the double update and left so many amazing reviews and are excited to keep going. Thank you all SO much.
> 
> For this chapter I'm a bit worried - I know, I say that a bunch it seems like. But I think when you read it some of you might get it? I don't know I don't want to ruin anything, so I'll shut up and ask at the bottom.
> 
> I wish all happy steamy reading!

**Chapter 13**

 

_ Fuck – _

_            Fuck – _

_                       Fuck – _

_ Fuckity fuck fuck – _

_                                      FUCK! – _

The steady mantra resounded endlessly through his mind as her quiet steps followed him through the woods. His whole body was mid-wildfire and his  _ stupid _ cock was twitching and throbbing like mad with each step he took, pressing at his threadbare underwear and the grating ridges of his zipper. Even though she wasn’t likely to catch the motion, he was fighting against the urge to palm himself to ease the straining throb. Where his head was at, it wouldn’t be near enough to satisfy, and if he got any more worked up, he’d get them killed, shoving her up against the closest tree, latch onto those full lips of hers and grind into her until she cried.

_ Jesus. _

He was putting every spare ounce of focus he had into moving silently through the debris strung along the ground, but it wasn’t doing much to lessen the blood pumping steadily into his dick, who of course didn’t think the threat of getting his ass  _ bitten _ by a walker worth denying the frame shaking need he was having to touch her. 

Girl just got done telling him she was  _ out of her head _ for saying that awful shit earlier, her sweet voice sobbing into his ear, breath warm and bathing him in her heat, had apparently worked to turn his grief into an entirely  _ different _ emotion. He should have asked her  _ right then _ to tell him what the hell had been going on with her but…She’d sounded…like Beth… _ his _ Beth…all moonshine shack and fire lit dinners. Her voice melodic even through her tears and it’d felt like, for truly the first time, he wasn’t feeling a ghost or half cracked shell against him.

And how could he not wrap his arms around her when she sounded so fucking desperate? 

Clinging to him like she’d die if she wasn’t touching him, like if he pushed her away she’d sob herself into so many pieces he couldn’t hope to put her back together? She’d felt  _ so _ damn good under his hands too. He trapped a groan in his chest, savagely murdering it before it made a sound. She had been thrumming with life under his palms. Chest feeling the press of hers all the way down his stomach, had no idea how she could bend her spine into him like that without hissing in pain. But Beth had only laid into him more when she felt his arms around her.

He shouldn’t have started rubbing sure hands all down her like that, not if he wasn’t ready for  _ exactly _ what had been tried next. Should have moved away, right when that searing wet mouth of hers had touched itself to his neck, but the only thing that had ran through his mind was how goddamn much he wanted to taste every inch of those sighing lips.

_ Jackass – _

She’d been so close,  _ so close _ , heartstring away from kissing him and what the fuck did he do?

_ Stop.  _

_ Don’t. _

He just. He couldn’t. She had to fucking get that, after the past week, he was going to need time to be sure that she was…back. Or that she was  _ trying _ to get back, head didn’t work like a switch, he knew that. Trauma was a bitch. But that’s all he’d ever wanted, just for her to keep  _ trying _ , maybe him wanting for her to be totally better before they tried anything was bullshit.

_ Kay fine. _

He could work with that he figured, as he held a branch out of the way for her while they continued silently through the trees. And his gut was telling him something had changed. Might have been the fight or…but he didn’t want to think about what she’d just seen him doing.

Whatever. 

The combination of everything that had happened on this shitty day where they were about to pass the fuck out from dehydration and sunstroke, and he was willing to listen to his gut like always, but his head just needed a little more time.

His dick twitched as it began to calm down.

Very little time. Week. Few days. Whatever.

Not that anything like  _ that _ was going to be taking place any time soon anyway, he internally voiced to his aching balls, so might as well  _ forget _ it right the  _ fuck _ now. But the kissing…his breath kicked out a little harder than necessary…he was up to give that another try. Not in the woods though, he didn’t want half of his mind on keeping them safe. No, he wanted to lick into that sweet mouth of hers and dig his fingers into frizzing hair and flaring hip. He didn’t have a lot of experience with it, the kissing, had been a hell of a long time since he’d tried. 

But with Beth…his neck throbbed like she’d burned him…he’d be willing to fumble through it for her. She wouldn’t laugh at him, kiss him too hard too soon, but maybe later, later he’d like her to kiss him anyway she wanted.

They needed to talk though. An uneasy grunt sounded lowly as he went up and then over a fallen log, kept an ear out to make sure that she did the same behind him. She needed to get to a point where she could tell him what had happened at Grady, at least some of it, at least the bit that had triggered her so goddamn bad. It just…he was a selfish sonofabitch, but he didn’t  _ wanna _ fuckin’ talk.

Fine. But he could sure as shit listen. 

Everything rolled around inside him as voices caught his attention, and he quickened his pace a little, making sure she kept up behind him. Someone had left water –  _ From A Friend _ – and that idiot Eugene tried to drink it. Fucking Abe had to stop him. Daryl just watched the drama unfold, unable to fully tap into the situation for the first time in a week. Because Beth Greene had just tried to kiss him, he hoped that it hadn’t been the only time she’d want to, and that she stayed as clearly herself as she was right now.

He watched her now, standing next to Maggie, arms gently hanging at her sides, eyes just a little narrowed while her and her sister spoke quietly to one another while nodding every now and then at the bundle of water. Rick was saying something about them not being able to risk it…

The next thing Daryl knew, thunder echoed around them, stretching on long and low, before loose cool drops started peppering and then tumbling down onto his heated scalp and face. For just a breath or two the caterwauling in his mind stopped and his whole body shivered in relief as some of the crusted bake of his skin eased with the continuing downpour. 

Another thunderclap and people around him started laughing in near hysteric release, tilting their heads back to catch drops on their dried tongues, laying down in the road and thanking god, the spirit in question who the preacher was apologizing to right now for some fuckin’ unknown reason. Tyreese scooped up Sasha, spinning her around while the woman smiled until Daryl thought her face might crack. 

Glenn was still crouched next to the collection of suspicious water containers, smiling up as a happy Maggie carded sure fingers through his hair, her other hand holding onto Beth’s. He met her eyes, and realized out of everyone, only he and Beth weren’t smiling. He didn’t know where her head was going to, but he was tangling with so many fears and hopes, on top of the sternum aching need to kiss her. Especially now, water smoothing her hair against her scalp, coiling like spun gold along her neck and cheeks. Droplets highlighting the curving of the scars on her face, making her eyes look a deeper shade of blue.

And she was looking at him like her heart was breaking, or like she wasn’t sure if it should already be shattered by now.  _ Goddamn it _ . How was he supposed to tell her that he wasn’t mad about her trying to kiss him? Sure as shit couldn’t confess to her that he was…well she’d known before when he was…scared. Since when had she lost her ability to read him easy?

The group started grabbing bottles and bowls, old cans, anything they could to catch water, the onslaught coming down heavier by the second until it didn’t feel so much relieving as punishing. Lil’ Asskicker started to cry and Daryl yanked his eyes from Beth’s to look the same direction Rick was. The clouds boiling towards them were a tar rolling in shale color that didn’t inspire him with any kind of comfort.

“Let’s keep moving!” Rick hollered over the continuous rockslide of thunder, and Daryl looked around at the many panicked faces around him. 

They couldn’t be out in this, not after walking so long in the heat, everyone was fucking exhausted and lord only knew what would happen to the baby out in this mess.

“There’s a barn!” Daryl yelled to Rick, leaning towards his brother so his voice could stand a chance of making it the small distance between them.

“Where?” 

“This way!” And suddenly there was a small blonde body at his elbow, gesturing towards Rick and the others as she began to turn, catching his eye and nodding. “C’mon!”

Daryl quickened his step until they were walking side by side, they waited wordlessly while everyone hustled to put lids on their containers and get everything packed up, as the weather continued to kick up around them. He and Beth led their family through the rain slicked woods, Daryl trusting her to keep them going in the right direction as he traveled back the length of the group, insuring that no one got lost, bit, or half drowned in the waves falling from the sky.

They cleared the barn of the one old walker and got set up for the night. Not just a few of them sighing, grateful, when they were able to get a fire going and some heat pumping through the rundown building. It was getting pretty quiet, besides the storm raging against the weathered slats of wood, and a few of them – Daryl included – sat around the small fire listening to Rick give a mixture of a pep talk and a story.

Daryl was zoning in and out of it, constantly aware of Beth, propped up against one of the barn’s supports a little ways away, quiet but her face thoughtful as she too listened to Rick.

“We tell ourselves…that  _ we _ are the walking dead.” 

He felt as his brow furrowed at Rick’s words, glancing up, he saw a few uncertain expressions before he found himself looking at Rick’s heavily bearded face, all under lit by the fire, shaking his head before saying in a clearer voice than he’d expected.

“We ain’t them.” 

And even though he knew that Rick was only trying to give those who needed it a way to get through all the constant turmoil that surrounded them, he couldn’t help but feel a little – betrayed. 

Hadn’t he been fighting to keep them all alive, keep them all good people long as he could? Hell, wasn’t just him, they’d  _ all _ worked towards that over their time being together. And yeah, bad shit kept happening, they kept losing people, getting attacked, hurt, broken or at least bent. But that’s what separated them from a lot of the animals walking on two legs these days. They weren’t like them, or the walkers, because there was still a goddamn motherfucking  _ difference _ between the good people and the bad.

And on maybe a little less of an important note, at least to the group in general but not to him. 

Had he  _ not _ been trying to get Beth to stop flinging herself into every fight they came across like she was already buried, like it didn’t matter? Could Rick’s emo ass just fuckin’  _ not _ right now? Couldn’t he see how much of the light in the barn seemed to be coming from her, and not the flames? Or was  _ everyone _ in this group blinder than shit?

He met Rick’s eyes for a second before gathering his feet below him in a crouch, snapping a branch and contemplating getting the hell away from all the eyes he felt burrowing into him right now. He didn’t fuckin’ like people staring, didn’t like challenging Rick either, he was fine where he’d been at when it came to his place in the group, and he wasn’t looking to change that one way or another. Plus, he was still feeling twisted like a sonofabitch over what had happened with Beth earlier.

Rick’s words halted any of his further action like they usually did. “We’re not them.”  _ Yeah sure, why the fuck you say it then?  _ He kept his eyes trained on the flames until Rick’s bobbing movement and careful tone pulled their gazes together. “Hey.” Shaking his head, Rick continued. “We’re not.”

Daryl looked away before climbing to his feet and meeting Rick’s eyes one more time. He knew this man better than he had most of his blood relations, and as long as he didn’t have to say it out loud, loved him better too. Realized that Rick was worried about him, especially after this terrible fucking day and fighting with Beth all through it, but he didn’t feel much like nodding and letting it go.

“We ain’t them.” 

The thunder gave some gravity to his quiet words, and feeling suddenly claustrophobic, he turned, picked up his bow, and removed himself from the main group. Pushing aside the swinging doors that came up to his waist, he made his way further into the darkness.

Finding a nearly intact hay bale, Daryl lowered himself onto the ground feeling his muscles groan in relief as they settled down. He could still hear everything fine from where he was, barn wasn’t so big as to inhibit that. And after an awkward silence because of his departure, he heard Maggie from somewhere along one of the walls, probably wrapped up cozy with Glenn.

“Bethy? Would you sing for us please?” 

He didn’t even know his heart was capable of dropping clear down to his ass, but that’s sure as shit what it  _ felt _ like when he got through processing the oldest Greene’s words. He couldn’t fuckin’ take Beth refusing that request, not today, the hell was Maggie thinking?

He needed to leave, right now, his legs tensed, ready to propel him to his feet, except of course – he couldn’t leave – because the damn storm outside would knock him flapjack flat right now. He wondered frantically how ridiculous he’d look with his dirty fingers crammed in his ears when he heard her. 

“Whaddaya wanna hear?” Beth sighed, voice playfully beleaguered, like she’d been brow beaten into agreeing. Daryl swallowed hard, his stupid fucking heart shot from his ass cheeks straight to his throat nearly gagging him.

“Remember that old rock song, by The Outfield? We’d sit in Daddy’s car even if we’d already gotten where we were goin’, listenin’ to it?” There was a slight pause, and Daryl had to fight the impulse to sneak back to the swinging half-door and peek over the top at her.

“Yeah, yeah ‘course I do.” She sounded uncertain though, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why she would.

“But you’re not wantin’ to sing it?” More of a pause and he was about ready to stand. “That’s fine sis, just pick whatever you’d like.”

“No! No, that one’s great, was just…tryin’ to remember the words is all.” She stumbled through her hesitation, and Daryl thought he might have stopped breathing until the first notes filled the air, and he found his feet under him without a single muscle twinging complaint, easily able to see her from his darkened corner. 

He didn’t even have the capacity to care if she were to look up and see him now.

“ _ Josie’s on a vacation far away _

_ Come around and talk it over _

_ So many things that I want to say _

_ You know I like my girls a little bit older _

_ I just want to use your love tonight” _

He thought he saw her eyes flick towards the swinging doors, her voice molding around the lyrics and the tune, the sound playing the vertebrae of his spine like a damn xylophone, tripping up and down it – making him shiver where he stood. He wondered if he’d ever know any of the songs she chose to sing, or if maybe he liked it better that he never had. 

“ _ I don’t want to lose your love tonight _

_ I ain’t got many friends left to talk to-o _

_ Nowhere to run when I’m in trouble _

_ You know I’d do anything for you _

_ Stay the night but keep it under cover _

_ I just want to use your love tonight” _

 

And now he also caught onto why she stalled on the words of this one, sounded like an older guy having an affair with a younger chick, and trying to keep it quiet. She’d probably been worried he’d get his hackles up, thinking she was trying to say something she wasn’t. And her concern cinched up in his ribcage, made it harder to breathe while he watched her. Firelight playing against the porcelain quality of her skin, flashing where it hit the scar on her cheek, she had her eyes half closed, keeping time with a finely boned hand tapping against her thigh. 

Fucking beautiful.

_ “I don’t want to lose your love tonight _

_ Try to stop my hands from shaking _

_ But something in my mind’s not making sense _

_ It’s been a while since we were all alone _

_ But I can’t hide the way I’m feeling” _

Daryl felt a little jolt when he realized her eyes had found him while she sang the verse, round pools of blue no longer half shut, voice winding through him and plucking strings he didn’t know were there. He should have let her kiss him. But his own fuckin’ childhood trauma still nagged at him, wouldn’t let him dive in that deep unless he were more sure about what it meant. Hurt too damn much to let her go, have her taken, whatever way it happened, he needed to  _ know _ she wasn’t gonna leave if she had the chance to stay. That was it.

_ “As you’re leaving please would you close the door? _

_ And don’t forget what I told you _

_ Just ‘cause you’re right that don’t mean I’m wrong _

_ Another shoulder to cry upon _

_ I just want to use your love tonight _

_ I don’t want to lose your love tonight” _

The last two lines repeated a few more times and then she was quiet and a peace seemed to have sunk into the group. Even as the wind and rain hit just as hard outside, the anxiety from it couldn’t touch them anymore. 

“I love that song, thank you Bethy.” Maggie murmured, sounding half asleep and at least half as pleased as Daryl felt over hearing Beth sing again.

“’Course.” Beth replied quietly, finally breaking her sight from Daryl’s, he stumbled back a step, taking a deep breath. Christ, one almost-kiss and he could barely keep his footing when she held onto him with her gaze? Oh yeah, this was going to go just fine, he had  _ nothing _ to worry about.

He fought the urge to duck down as she turned her head back in his direction and climbed to her feet, moving almost as soundlessly as he did through the swinging door, walking softly until she was stopped in front of him. When she continued to look at him without saying anything he felt his brow furrow as the silence stretched.

_ What? _

His pinched brows jerked closer together and he gave her a little upwards nod of inquiry. He didn’t mind she was over here with him, not really, but she had a look on her face like she wanted to ask him something. Her eyes darted to the hay bale behind him and back up to him, nodding towards it slightly.

_ Sit down? _

His eyes slid away from hers to look at the floor, teeth working along the inside of his cheek to stop him from biting at his thumb. He rolled his shoulders and kept his face blank looking back at her.

_ Why? _

Her eyes searched his, forehead scrunching the farther up her eyebrows climbed.

_ Please? _

He let out a grumbled sigh and sat with his back against the bale, glaring up at her as lightly as he was able.

_ Fine, now what?  _ She smiled a little uncertainly and went to sit behind him, he flinched away as she went to swing a leg behind him so that his back would be tucked between her knees and thighs.  _ The fuck’re ya doin’? _

He was half turned, glaring more seriously up at her as she settled onto the bale, and beckoned him with a patting hand.

_ C’mon, backrub. _

He almost shook his head but she’d grabbed him again with her gaze, and he was having a hard time remembering why her hands on him might be a bad thing. Glancing down at her seat, he frowned at the bristled sticks that were probably poking her in the ass something awful. He nodded at it, eyes questioning, not thinking about how both of them were refraining from speaking.

_ Sure ya wanna sit there? _

She smiled more easily and nodded, rolling her eyes a little when he continued to consider her spot. Widening eyes and raising brows she looked down at herself, arms out to either side, palms up, looking back at him she shook her head a little and her grin was a little chastising, he didn’t know how but it seemed like she was saying.

_ Farm girl. Remember? _

Huffing out a breath he turned back and leaned against the hay, sighing quietly when her hands lighted along his shoulders. Fuck had he missed this. The feel of her digging into him, loosening his muscles no matter how stubborn they were, the intimacy of being touched by her, being so close to her. It all thrummed along his veins, warming him against the chill that the distance from the fire had created. 

And even now their communication didn’t stop. She swirled her thumbs up in an arc along his neck and paused.

_ This ok? _

In answer, he settled more fully into the bale and into her, feeling her legs open farther to accommodate the width of his shoulders. He bet she looked fucking amazing right now, perched above him, silvery white hands flashing in the lightning strikes, the sweetly curving features of her face, nose, and mouth, eyes serene as she followed the movements of her fingers. Knees jutting out to either side, thighs nearly flush with his shoulder blades, he could almost feel the heat of her center through his goddamn vest. 

He liked how fluidly she’d moved to fit him against her, could imagine those long legs falling open to either side of his easily enough. Could throw them up over his shoulders, feel those small feet on his back, heels digging in as he ran a slow tongue up her slit. He shifted, trying to get comfortable with the hardening bulge in his pants. That was another thing, he hadn’t been looking to do that with any of the women he’d slept with before, but he swore to  _ god _ he could smell her and it was fucking up his ability to reason. 

Hell, he’d barely have to turn around, be able to press his face directly into her jean covered cunt right  _ now _ .

Tip her back into the bale more, get those pants and panties off, fuck he could be tongue deep in her within seconds. His dick throbbed and he moved a careful hand to it and, squeezing, hoped to hell the darkness covered the reason for his movements. But honestly what the fuck was he supposed to do with that sweet tangy smell making him as lightheaded as he’d ever gotten from huffing gas, or the small handful of other drugs he’d tried?

Now that shit wasn’t worth it, he mused while she worked hard circles into his shoulders. Merle’d called him a limp dicked control freak every time he’d refused, well half of that was true he figured, casting a quick glance down. It was darker than hell over where they were, even  _ he _ could barely make out the detail of what was going on down there. 

No way could she see anything.

Made him want to go for a nice quick rub, but he closed his eyes and tipped his head to his chest instead, maybe she couldn’t  _ see _ it, but he doubted she wouldn’t be able to guess what the fuck his arm was doing making  _ that _ kind of movement. 

Then again, he thought, taking another deep breath in through his nose, fuckin’ girl obviously wanted it just as bad as he did. They’d been in this position at the house sitting on the steps that time, and he knew (more than he should) that it had been just as long between her bathing then as it was now. And she hadn’t smelled like this at the time. 

Though honestly, could call him a nasty fuck, he didn’t really care about the reason for him being able to smell her so easily (though from the way she was curling around him, he was pretty damn positive his first guess was the right one) he just wanted more of it, wanted to roll his fucking face against her lips and clit like a dog. 

_ Good lord – _

For a second he was worried he’d said the exclamation out loud, but he must have done something, tensed, grunted, fucking moaned for all he knew, because she hesitated in her movements, her next press a little softer as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. 

_ Too hard? _

_ Fuck girl, you’ve got  _ no _ idea. _

He had a moment of actual fear when she pressed her legs against him, opening herself wider behind him, and he had to shake his head, not in answer to her question but to tell himself he was being a dumbass. That, what had happened was a coincidence, she couldn’t  _ actually _ hear what he was thinking. 

Still…

He spent the rest of the time her hands moved over him winding his body back down, slow breaths through his mouth, hands out to the sides, safely away from his crotch. Trying to enjoy the feeling of her fingers pressing into his knots without thinking about what else he’d like to see those fingers doing. Trying to be grateful that she’d somehow found her way back to him, and not irritated that there were far too many witnesses in the same space as them right now.

Reminding himself that that shit – all of it – was going to wait until…there’d been something…things he wanted to do before all of  _ that _ . He was sure it’d come back to him eventually. He just needed to pump the brakes a little, make sure there wasn’t going to be a chest crunching level of fallout from pursuing all the things that were still trying to flash vividly through his mind’s eye.

Pretty sure that was her fault too, he was never much one for dirty day dreams, or really, dirty dreams in general. Her talking about having imagination,  _ feeling _ the shit being thought about, well look what good that was doing him. Having to do some meditation bullshit in a barn in the middle of godforsaken Virginia to get rid of a raging hard-on while the girl responsible pressed herself against his back, leaned her head in while she worked and tickled his ear where it peeked out from his own hair with hers.

Minutes later and she stopped, pressing her thumbs through his hair into the back of his neck. But just when he was about to climb to his feet, he felt her nails scratching up the back of his skull, and he let the low rolling growl climb out of his throat, the storm was still going and no one would be able to hear him. Unless of course they had their cool fingertips running along his bones and  _ felt _ the reverberation.

She paused just long enough for him to know that she’d felt it, and then continued her ministrations. His rain washed hair drifting through her fingers, sensitive scalp underneath being grazed and lightly scraped every other stroke. Daryl didn’t think about it as he dropped his head back into her. Eyes closed, crown pillowed slightly on her stomach – nearly nestled between her perfectly small tits since she was still half curled around him. He hummed a groan when she started carding through his hair, starting with what was along his temples, sweeping back almost to the nape, curving carefully around his ears.

Damn, if she kept this up it  _ was _ going to be real hard for him not to nuzzle into her like some contented dog. He should pull away, make her stop, switch their spots and pray he was able to rub her back without sliding his hands anywhere mischievous. But for the first time in a while he felt calm, and he knew that shit wouldn’t last long, so if she was enjoying herself, and him sitting his ass right where it was helped her know he wasn’t mad at her about earlier in the clearing, well fuck if he could see a reason to move.

He wasn’t sure, but it sounded like she had started humming to herself and it made him want to smile, lips twitching as he could feel it vibrate her belly and into him. The next place her rifling hands landed was the scruff along his chin and jaw, snapping his eyes open, she was peering down at him in the dark as fingers ruffled with the same gentle pressure as she’d passed over his skull and he couldn’t help but sigh and close his eyes once more.

Fucking hands felt good  _ everywhere _ and he couldn’t let that thought go any further south, because it was his chest that ached and throbbed now, as she scratched lightly along his jawline. He wanted to reach up and take one of those carefully scrabbling hands and press the palm of it to his lips, let her know how much being close like this with her meant to him. But that might make her want him to kiss other parts of her and he still…almost.

Just needed to know.

And now wasn’t the time to find out, not with what sounded like a goddamn hurricane outside and the two of them being crammed just about cheek to jowl with their whole damn family. No, he’d wait a bit, probably just long enough to get freaked out about it too. He sighed again but refused to move, even as his uneasy thought strummed at his pulse, he wasn’t fucking moving until she’d decided she’d had enough of touching him. 

At least like this. 

At least for now.

She continued to alternate between his face and hair, feeling a few times like she was about to lay a kiss or two on top of his head, but she never did, and he hated himself and the whole damn string of events that led to her feeling like she couldn’t do even that. That made him uncertain if he could  _ handle it _ if she did.

After a little longer she fisted her hands in his hair, and his eyes opened again feeling lethargic. 

That was until she tightened her grip and he growled as the sensation kicked down his nervous system, over organs and bone, right to his dick which twitched inquisitively. He could see a little bunch to one of her cheeks, the lopsided set to her already upside down (for him) mouth, and puffed out a breath as she continued to smile a little unsurely at him. Not wanting to interrupt the silent communication they’d started, he reached until he found her feet, sliding up to grasp her ankles, forearms pressed to her shins, and squeezed.

_ Thanks _ .

Her smile softened, or at least he imagined it did, and she tightened her hold in his hair again, a little less rough this time.

_ Welcome _ .

She released her hold and he grudgingly rolled to his feet, immediately feeling the loss of contact like a healing wheal wound. He turned around and watched her stand and stretch, shirt pulling up enough to flash flesh before dropping again out of sight. She was much more visible now, with the light of the fire being able to cast a flicker glow on her from over the half swinging doors. 

He nodded at the floor, it was his turn to return the favor, though he hoped she didn’t want him to do the same shit with her scalp, that hair of hers looked like a minefield that he didn’t feel much like blundering through with his blocky fingers.

He didn’t know how to feel about it when she shook her head lightly at him in response, seeing her now, he had to admit she looked pretty exhausted, but at least she didn’t look sad, vicious, or detached. He’d take her tired over any of that shit every time. His eyes tripped over to the barn doors, people were starting to lie down for the night, someone needed to be on watch, and the way his head felt, he wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon anyway. 

When his eyes met hers again he saw that now familiar sweet uncertainty and he bobbed his head down a little ticking it to the side slightly in question, knowing they’d have to speak at some point but worried strangely it would break the truce they seemed to have going.

He watched as she pulled her lips in and bit down like she too was trying to keep from speaking, her eyes flicking the same way his had, towards the doors before coming back to meet his again. He cocked his head to the side, almost enjoying the silence like a game, as he tried to figure out what she wanted. He’d give it to her if he could, whatever it was.

Because of course he would.

She yawned hugely, slapping a hand over her gaping mouth, but moved her sight over more pointedly to the doors where he’d be keeping watch.

_ Oh _ .

His eyes crinkled as he stopped himself from grinning at her, she wanted to follow him and sleep by where he’d be keeping an eye out. Wanted to stay by  _ him _ instead of going to lay down by the fire or her sister.

_ Fuck yeah, let’s go.     _

He didn’t know if she got  _ all _ of the meaning but she smiled happily regardless. He nodded to her, jerking his head in the right direction before bending to pick up his bow and stepped to the side so she could lead the way. He watched as she got settled, then he made a trip to one of the bags to yank that ugly ass towel free and head back to cover her with it, shaking his head at how pleased she looked, wrapped up like a tie-dyed burrito.

As she closed her eyes he found his mind sliding to a topic he hadn’t thought about in over a week.

_ What the fuck nickname could I give a girl like Beth Greene?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! So there's...that, no bullshit fishing for feedback here I need to know. Did that seem OOC for Daryl? Here's my reason, which if you don't need or want feel free to click away lol this is mostly for my own conscious :) So my thought was that he's been wrecked emotionally and this day has been the worst of all, and right when he's giving up it's like she's back and all that emotion gets kind of derailed because he doesn't know what to do with it, and so sexy thoughts. But these are not things he'd actually act on, not right now at least.
> 
> Oh that's long, ok my apologies, I guess if it made sense I wouldn't have to explain it aha aha.
> 
> Thanks for reading guys feedback is appreciated always no matter what.
> 
> Oh and I don't own The Outfield or have anything to do with the lyrics used in this chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storm, feels, new guy, much talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Howdy pals! Thanks for all the support last chapter, hope this slow burn isn't killing all of you too much - like a little is fine - but there's quite a bit that happens in this chapter. It follows the show pretty closely which the next few chapters will as well, but I'm going to be kind of low key talking about events that happened in the show, but really focusing on Bethyl, if y'all could let me know if it gets to be a little too much let me know!
> 
> I wish you all happy reading!

**Chapter 14**

 

He really was beautiful.

Beth watched as Daryl paced, somewhere between caged animal and a piece of the storm outside come to swirl impatiently around in front of her. She was physically and emotionally exhausted as she steadily tracked his movements from her place curled up on the barn's floor.

He had his bow loosely gripped in one hand, and every other swinging step had him casting a furtive glance her way. He knew she was awake and watching him, could probably see firelight winking off her eyes as she did. He didn't glare at her though, well not only at her, his eyes were at a low slit that on anyone else would definitely constitute irritation. But on Daryl it was more anxious, thoughtful even, he seemed to have boundless energy even after the insane day they'd had.

Beth wished she knew, not for the first or last time, what he was thinking while he made his circuits back and forth over the worn floor. She was also in the middle of sending thanks skywards for her earlier ability to control herself.

Singing had made her feel, content, and it had given her the gumption to approach him. He'd looked at her warily but not aggressively so, and then he'd let her touch him, and the warmth and solidity of him had gone lancing through her.

She tried to keep his words from the clearing in mind, he wasn't ready, didn't want her to...but this – this contact was established and acceptable. Her belly still tickled and trembled, her fingers made light passes as the skin there twitched underneath, the weight of his head like a full meal making her lethargic and oddly pleased.

She hadn't totally wrecked things with him. Maybe set them back or something, but there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Daryl Dixon was worth the wait. Her body had reinforced this knowledge, throbbing and clenching, each shift of her hips on the hay bale eased with slickness. And even if it  _ was _ like getting stitches in her irises, to have her body react so severely to him while only rubbing his shoulders, well that just gave her something to look forward to for when he  _ was _ ready.

And they still needed to talk, she needed to tell him about Grady and Gorman, but it was all so, dark and murky, and she’d been  _ living _ in dark and murky for a while. Couldn’t help that she wanted some brightness, hot like a spark, bit of raw life that tethered her to the living.

She considered her will power to close her eyes, instead of catching each peeked bit of blackish blue that came her way, when she realized his rangy frame had grown still. Following the direction of his stare she tilted her head along the arm cushioning her cheek and looked to the barn's doors.

The chain they'd secured to the handles was slack. The storm that continued to assault the area was pulling and slamming the doors in equal measure. Each completed swing sending out a creaking snapping bang of old wood and cracking chains. She watched as Daryl settled his bow against one of the supports and made his way over to the swinging noise makers. Her brows twitched as she watched him stall out next to the still flapping doors instead of cinching up the slack in the waving chain.

Her lungs locked up when, with a start, Daryl was lunging at the doors, pushing them shut with a startled grunt tearing from his throat. She was starting to push the towel down her body when he began wrapping the extra play of the chain through the door handles, and whipping around, placed his back against the heaving wood.

Beth leapt to her feet as a snarling mass thudded against his desperate hold, and without hesitation she threw herself full bodied next to him. From the look on Daryl’s face, what she could catch through flashing electricity and the undulating movements knocking into them repeatedly, the herd of dead outside was a big one. A fatal one. And  _ Jesus _ their whole family was in here, Judith was sleeping only a  _ handful _ of feet from here, and Beth felt that anger from the past week howl through her like the storm.

_ Daryl _ was in here.

He turned quickly and Beth watched as two strong arms braced themselves on either side of the alternating breached and then secured doors. His gaze locked onto her and in one startling rage filled moment she knew, knew that she would use this feeling only to keep them all alive. She’d take every terrible  _ goddamn _ thing that had happened to her since the end had begun and wield it against everything and anything that got in the way of what she wanted.

To keep him alive.

To keep them  _ all _ alive.

And maybe for the first time she felt what he’d been looking for in her these past three weeks since Atlanta.  _ She _ desperately and  _ fiercely _ wanted to live. She nodded, even though he hadn’t asked anything, and digging her feet hard into the slightly shifting mud, helped him slam the doors closed. She gritted her teeth when she felt the unyielding walkers press against the wood under her hands. 

Their last push must have made a substantial amount of noise, or maybe some inherent familial distress had knocked Maggie into consciousness because the next thing Beth knew, her sister was slamming a desperate back into the door at her side. The sound of running feet had woken Sasha and Tyreese who were the nearest to them, and within moments more bodies were helping her and Daryl’s to keep back the biters. 

She could hear her own panting breaths,  _ sweet Jesus _ , more dead must be adding to those that were working against her frantically pressing group. Even with Tyreese and Daryl’s considerable strength they were still being slid back inch by precarious inch. She felt the near sob of relief bubble along her throat when, one and then another, her family came running until the only member that wasn’t throwing their weight into the doors was poor screaming Judith.

Everything was rolling wood, sliding steps, tangling arms that strained and flexed against the uneven grain below unrelenting hands. She could feel her eyes, narrowed in determination even as her body shook against the pressure she was exerting. Slivers dug into each softly padded surface of her fingers and palms. Her focus began to click onto the people in the group she could make out, her face smashed against the wood as it was, lightning offering the only real illumination.

The whites of Tyreese’s eyes leapt into view, his expression terror stricken as his massive body bent with every ounce of strength in it, trying to keep their loved ones safe. But his eyes weren’t the only ones she could see through the snarling twist of arms. Blue that would rival the fire flashing across the sky right now snagged at her. Daryl didn’t seem to blink as he watched her, a small band of infrequent light exposing the inked hair slashing across the paled tan of his face, his gaze locked to hers with everything spinning in chaos around them.

And it must be spinning she realized, this wasn’t any normal storm, the herd alone couldn’t knock them back with such force before falling away suddenly, giving them just the chance they needed to regain ground. 

_ A friggin’ tornado? Seriously?  _

She held onto the only life line she could while her body shook, her feet gaining indefinite purchase on the mud slick floor, walker’s growls sounding nearly on top of her. Her eyes stayed on his, world tearing apart around them, and all she could do was try to tell him through every quick scorching flicker of light that she was right  _ here _ with him. She wasn’t going to zone out, wasn’t going to do something to get them killed. 

Wasn’t going to leave him. 

She didn’t know if it was the fear, the circumstance, the growling coupled with the claustrophobic feeling and the small fraction of his face she could see, but suddenly all Beth could think about was that time in the trunk. How terrified she’d been, how adamantly focused he’d stayed all night, how far they’d come since then, making it feel like another life. 

By the time she got done thinking about that night all those days ago, or maybe she’d just been so oriented on Daryl she didn’t notice. But the arms around her began dropping away and she realized it had grown relatively silent and unresponsive on the other side of the doors. Finally, her and Daryl being the last, they all straightened and waited. The quieting storm whipped what sounded like dirt, maybe small branches, into the doors, but the tightened chain kept them closed.

She was not sure how long they all stood, barely breathing, as the storm lessened by degrees, and not a single growl could be heard over the remaining wind. Slowly, very slowly, they began to break away and go lay down in clusters and pairs. Until it was only her and him left, just like it always seemed to end up being, since the prison fell.

She felt every inch of her shiver and tremble, all marrow and pores quivering to the last bit of her. And still the two of them held still, arms nearly touching, as eventually their breathing returned to normal and Beth’s shiver turned to a manageable quiver. A warm paw-like hand landed on her shoulder and she leaned into its warmth. She kept leaning until her side was flush with his and heat pumped like a heartbeat through her, head turning she was able to meet his questioning gaze as his hand slid across her back until he was rubbing, down and then up, of one of her freezing arms. 

“It was like the trunk all over again.” She was barely mindful that her voice sounded shaken, and either something in her face or tone made him squeeze the now tingling flesh of her bicep.

Part of her wanted to hug him, most all of her actually, but she wouldn’t be able to stand it now, to feel him tense up below her hold. So instead she decided to stay in his half embrace, as his callused fingers and palm made – insistent – overly thorough trips against her flesh, now and again squeezing seemingly at random. She watched as his head tipped towards her a little, watched his eyes flicker over her face. Glanced at cheek, brow, nose, lips, and back again to her eyes, before he nodded jerkily and released her.

Beth swayed without him, but managed to keep her feet, and followed his gesture to return to where her pink and yellow towel laid waiting. She shuffled down to lay along her side, and before she could reach for it, felt the cottony roughness slide up along the length of her body, felt course skin nick along her chin as Daryl finished tucking it up around her. He moved back, but before the panic or sadness (she wasn’t sure which) could take hold, he swung around and settled his back along the wall she was laying against. His hip inches from her wisped hair, legs drawn up until he could rest his elbows on them.

Turning her head, she watched in weary fascination as he began to yet again watch the doors, like nothing had happened and it was still his turn to be on guard. She was about to open her mouth, to tell him to get some rest, when one muscled and grime smeared arm dropped from his nearest knee. She felt tears burn her tired eyes as his hand traveled slowly and tiredly from the apex of her shoulder, down along the backs of her ribs, until it stopped mid-spine. 

His knuckles knocked into the wood paneling behind her, but he either didn’t feel it or didn’t care, as he continued his careful passes. And for the first time Beth realized she wasn’t the only one trembling.

She could barely make out the jitter in his fingertips, the quake in the heel of his hand, but it was there, and she felt with a certainty, that she shouldn’t be gazing up at his face right now. That if he were to turn and look down to see her eyes on him – he’d yank his hand away – scalded by the intimacy of his own touch. 

Dropping her head back to her cushioning arm, Beth closed her eyes quickly,  _ tried _ to get a desperate handle on her breathing. She  _ tried _ her best to stop the other tears, after the first, that pressed themselves out from behind her tired lids when she felt those shivering tips skate along her face. He drew them across her hairline, pulling a wayward lock behind her ear, traced the shell, and skimmed a quick thumb down the curve of her jaw to her neck.

When his hand returned to making comforting runs over her shoulder and back, Beth couldn’t help but drift off to sleep, tear tracks like mentholated strips trailing off the bridge of her nose and crest of her cheek. She dreamed of sun warmed skin stretched taught over rolling muscle and sharp bone, soft pressure along hip and chest, panted words that seared her from the tips of her ears to the crook of her neck.

Waking was a little disorienting. 

First of all she could not see, at least not in anything other than blacks and light turned greys, she blinked repeatedly, refusing to panic. Last night’s events were arranging themselves in her mind, and she knew she’d fallen asleep next to Daryl, which meant no matter how confused she was with her non-view, she was undoubtedly safe. 

Taking quick stock, she realized that her head was comfortably placed, whatever it rested on being firm with a slight give, she had both hands curled and tucked under her chin, keeping her makeshift blanket in place. The bottom half of her was decently warm while the top half was deliciously cozy and a heated weight was draped down her shoulders, making lazy movements against one of her blades. 

Running a hesitant tongue against dry lips, she pressed her head more firmly down on whatever it was resting on, and felt those lazy motions still immediately. Alternatively, nuzzling in deeper to it made the whole thing flex into something resembling but not limited to, stone, iron, or agitated redneck.

Rocking her head back she took in a sloping leather covered abdomen and chest, reddening neck, bristled grey and brown whiskers, thin pursed lips, stalled out fingers that had apparently been mid fidget against the earlier noticed whiskers, flared nostrils, and she terminated her search at a pair of blue flecked black eyes that held onto her.

At some point during the night not only had she readjusted her position to be lying across one of Daryl’s thighs, but he had for some inexplicable reason  _ allowed _ this to happen. Not only that, but he had slung his other arm over her shoulder and was keeping her warm while drifting different parts of his hand against her shoulder blade.

And it felt… _ amazing _ wasn’t a strong enough word. 

She’d never felt so safe in all her life, before or after the dead started walking, and talk about peaceful…even as she felt the body that was vaguely wrapped around her tense and nearly vibrate – Beth couldn’t stop the smile that pulled and tugged the corners of her mouth.

And she felt him still marginally below her, some of his anxiety softening from her look. He moved his fingers away from his chin, eyes watching her with an exhausted wariness that didn’t niggle at her too much. After all, he wasn’t shoving her off him, wasn’t looking anywhere but at her. His expression was a little guarded, but Lord knew he must be worn down to the bone. Their relationship being what it was…she couldn’t ask for more of him than what she was getting right now. 

The sun must be up, he was highlighted along one side of his vest, the rise of his biceps, planes of his flushed face. She couldn’t imagine how sore and cramped he must be feeling, awake for God only knew how many hours, all the events of yesterday and then staying still underneath her while she slept…

Yeah – he really was beautiful.

Taking a quick breath in of leather, smoke, wilderness, and Daryl, she carefully and slowly pushed herself into a sitting position. Stopping a bit when her change in position brought their faces closer together, before she swallowed thickly, moved at an equally slow pace to back up until she mirrored his position with her spine along the wall.

He lifted his straightened leg with a low groan that made her blush, before he started picking at the dirt and dried skin along his hands and cuticles. He was probably casting glances at her through his hair, but she was at a bad angle to know for sure.

“You should get some rest.” She kept her voice low, hearing the rhythmic breathing of the others around them. Now he did turn his head to look at her, gaze considering as she tracked along the bags under his eyes, the slackened set of his face, to his sharp as ever grey streaked blues.

“Yeah.” He murmured just as quietly, speech not nearly as rough as she’d expect it to be after all night spent awake not talking. He didn’t make any move to lie down though, and his hands kept picking steadily at one another.

“It’s safe now.” She said then for some reason, obviously he knew it was safe, had watched over them while they all rested. But she wanted him to know that he could sleep just as soundly as she had, with  _ her _ guarding  _ him _ , that he could trust her enough to do that.

She couldn’t quite hold the look he was giving her, like he was digging through her – eyes first, curling scarred knuckles over her frontal lobe, sniffing out something he hoped to find. Pink prickled along her cheeks, when his considering look didn’t leave her, and she found herself casting around for something to focus on, not trusting her sleep fogged mind to keep her from doing something unwanted.

At least for him – at least for now.

Her eyes stopped finally on Tyreese, who was lying side by side with his sister, a slightly grey pallor to his usually rich skin. She could still picture his expression from last night, wide eyed and rolling, like one of her horses back on the farm. Perhaps even more than her, Tyreese had a terrible time trying to acclimate to the world they lived in now.

“He’s tough.” Daryl said quietly, murmuring again, almost gently like he’d been able to read the tracks of her thoughts. “He’ll make it.”

“He will.” She agreed firmly, bringing her focus back to him, not surprised that he had yet to look away.

“So’re you.” Her breath hitched as he continued, his face turning something near rueful and maybe…proud? “Ya act like ya don’ know it sometimes, but y’are.”

“Thank you.” She all but whispered, while his eyes told her more than what he said, and she got the feeling that maybe, maybe they were on even ground again. 

Or close to it.

They’d have to talk. It had to happen…eventually. 

He held on tight with his gaze for a few moments more, sight heavy lidded, body pressing hard into the wall at his back. And all Beth wanted to do was wrap herself around him, run slow fingers through the scruff along his jaw, watch him spiral off into sleep.

He nodded, to what she wasn’t sure, a thought he’d had or decided on, a confirmation of what she believed his words to mean. And then he shrugged stiffly from his vest, balling it against the ground, he tucked his head next to her thigh, blue eyes finally closing with a deep exhaled breath. She sat cautiously still, waiting until his chest’s movements evened out, and then with piano nimble fingertips, she carefully slid some of the hair off of his face.

After watching him sleep for a while longer, she finally turned to stare resolutely at the barn doors, keeping watch over him and the others as the early morning stretched silently on.

It was a few hours later, everyone was up milling about, Maggie and Sasha had gone to answer the early morning call, and Beth was sitting peacefully against one of the barn’s supports watching Daryl clean and maintain his bow – arm muscles flexing, large hands easily pulling back and testing the draw, blue eyes intent as he looked for any frays or weaknesses – when Maggie’s voice from the door caught everyone’s attention and everything started getting intense for them once again.

Beth had sidled along the barn’s wall, getting out of easy reach of the stranger, not so much for her own safety, but because she could see Daryl was highly disconcerted about the man’s sudden presence and had cut many tense glances her way. She’d gotten the unique feeling that if this Aaron guy even  _ looked _ in her direction too long Daryl would either shoot him or snap his neck. 

He was talking to the stranger now, saying something typically sassing and rude, and she watched Aaron’s reaction, but he seemed simply nervous. Understandable considering the many weapons and muscle surrounding him, but Beth had this gut tickling feeling like she usually did with people. 

Aaron was one of the good ones.

She paid close attention to his open and pleading gaze, specifically his eyes, there was no deadness there, something she’d seen often these days even in members of her own group. Rick in particular was making her far more uneasy than this stranger was, but then again Rick had also been with them in Richmond and seen the graffiti for the Wolves and witnessed that slaughtered community.

Everyone he cared about was in this barn right now and they’d had no warning this man was watching them…Except, she realized now, they had. He was no doubt the one that had left them the water, so he was either incredibly devious and this was a rather elaborate set up, or he really was, as his note had said – a friend.

She was sussing all this out, listening to his description of his community, that sounded wonderful and terrifying in its perfection. Anything that well established and protected was going to draw attention, it had with them, either the dead or the living, both were a jealous lot and nothing stayed untouched or untried for long. But she was thinking about all of this when Rick strode forward and threw a punch that knocked the stranger flat.

“Rick!” She couldn’t help her surprised exclamation, because honestly what the hell? She took several steps forward, hesitating at Daryl’s scowl before shaking her head and kneeling in front of the unconscious – to her eyes – nonthreat.

She could hear the others begin to speak up around her, Michonne, and then Maggie, heard Rick’s command and the quick scuffling to obey it. Sasha offered her a clean-ish bit of cloth, and Beth smiled her thanks and began dabbing the sweat from Aaron’s face. She checked for any noticeable lacerations or damage but couldn’t find any, all the while she was completely aware of Daryl’s presence at her back.

When blue eyes, far more sea sky than that of the man’s behind her fluttered open, she wasn’t entirely surprised when a thick knuckled hand fisted itself into the fabric covering her back and hauled her away. She let him, catching her feet and backpedaling easily, didn’t miss the way he kept his eyes from hers as he stepped around her, basically blocking her from the other man’s view completely.

As the talk continued Beth couldn’t help but find herself agreeing more and more with their surprise guest. He was the one that left the water, he didn’t think there was much of a chance of them believing or trusting him, and even though he’d been watching them for a while (something that she both understood, but like Daryl, felt uneasy about), he seemed to have come up with a pretty good handle on their dynamic. The only thing at this point making her tense was the fact that she knew she was going to get into a fight very soon.

And it wasn’t going to be with the guy she didn’t know. 

Maybe it would be with one of the people in their group, maybe with Rick even, but she had a sinking knowledge it would be with Daryl. His shoulders looked impossibly wide in front of her, and she knew that he was making himself as large a target as he could so that if there  _ was _ an attack, they’d go for him first. And it made her heart twist, her guts cinch up hard against her ribcage, but she wasn’t going to let them, any of them, kill this man without serious cause.

Thank God for Michonne and Maggie, their doubt in Rick’s certainty had the group splitting up to check Aaron’s story and when their leader mentioned that _splitting_ _up_ could be what these unknown people with their captive were expecting, she wasn’t surprised to hear Daryl speak up after he’d moved Aaron to one of the barn’s supports.

“I got the perimeter.” She was a little shocked however, when he spun to her and jerked his head towards the barn door. “C’mon, yer with me.”

She vaguely heard Rick agreeing with the idea of pairs and sending people out to keep guard, but she mainly was trying to catch Aaron’s eye as Daryl moved to leave. She caught his gaze, and she knew with a kind of finality that she was right, he looked a jumbled mixture of scared and hopeful, there was no guile there, no passive waiting for things to explode around him.

He was worried they would kill him. That they would kill whoever was with him, but he was banking on the fact that like her, he could tell a good person when he saw it. Meeting each other’s sight she did her best to convey any kind of peace she could to him, giving a reassuring nod as she passed. Rick wouldn’t kill him, until the hour had gone by, she had faith. But if that time  _ did _ come…well she’d have to deal with it then.

She waited outside the weathered and beaten structure as Daryl held the doors for everyone but Rick and Judith as they all filed out and got underway. Looking around, she had a brief moment to marvel at the cataclysmic level of damage to the woods around them, before her haphephobic beau was motioning her to follow him through a less mangled copse of trees. 

They walked in silence for a time, and Beth knew the exact moment when Daryl decided they weren’t in immediate danger, there was a shrugging roll and while he made sure to keep his bow up, it was no longer gripped until she could see each defining line in his biceps. Not wanting to delay the inevitable, she decided to jump in and tear the scab off, deal with the resulting blood the best she could.

“I believe him.” 

There, good, short and sweet, Beth didn’t have to wait at all for his reaction, seeing his face snap towards her immediately, heck she could even tell he was back to flexing those arms until she’d like to get a feel, wonder at the size of them.

“You fuckin’ wi’me right now?” He growled after a moment, and she pursed her lips before stopping to look at him. She wanted him to see her, to know that…well to garner whatever he needed to, just by viewing her like he seemed so often to be capable of.

“Don’t tell me you can’t see it too.” She kept her arms loose, avoiding the impulse to cross them across herself, Daryl noticed every damn thing when he wanted to, and her looking defensive wouldn’t help anything.

He’d stopped when she had, was fixing her with a heated glare but she wasn’t going to stop, she didn’t want to be on the outs with him, especially not with how she felt like they were evening out after the last week – but that didn’t mean she was going to be silent and not speak her mind.

He had to know. 

That she wasn’t the kind to just let things slide because she didn’t want to make waves with him. Daryl wouldn’t want someone to be subservient to him, he couldn’t, she’d seen the surprise in his eyes that day by the shine still, her being willing to stand toe to toe with him is what got her on his radar. She didn’t care if he realized that or not, she felt it in her bones it was true, just like she felt that Aaron was a good person and didn’t mean them harm.

“Christ, you thinkin’ this set up he’s goin’ on about is legit?” His gaze flickered around her and back as he kept half his mind on any threats trying to sneak up on them.

“I do.” She ignored his snort and rolled on through, taking a small step towards him. “Daryl, he isn’t lyin’, he’s a good person I can tell.”

He was having a hard time looking away from her, and was getting irritated by it, that too she could tell, his face was turning like he’d be pulling his sight with it at any moment but his eyes were locked to hers. Face coloring slightly he gave it up and leaned in, a little aggressive with his inward swing, but this man could throw a punch into the air next to her head and Beth wouldn’t flinch.

Daryl Dixon would chew through his own wrist before he laid a hand on her in earnest anger.

“You really think this guy’s wantin’ us t’join some fuckin’  _ community _ ?” She gritted her teeth at the sound of his tone, sweet Jesus she didn’t want to argue with him, but he could be so  _ friggin’ _ infuriating when he got like this.

“You heard Michonne same as me.” She couldn’t stop her hands fisting along her hips or the way she was leaning even farther towards him. “This could be a chance for us to get a little bit of peace Daryl, of makin’ another home for ourselves, somewhere other than run down shacks and barns.” She gestured, in an irritated movement, back the way they’d come.

“Didn’t Grady teach you  _ nothin’ _ .” He bit out and for a moment it did feel like he’d slapped her across the face, managed to open up the steadily fading scar on her cheek. “The funeral home, the prison, yer goddamn  _ farm _ for shit sakes?” 

She felt the anger furl through her ribs and fingertips, and was about to start calling him all manner of names, starting somewhere with insensitive jerk and ending right around ignorant ass redneck, when her breath paused halfway in. She took the barest moment to take in his face, he was flushed same as she was and looked…well pissed as hell, but she knew this look, this wasn’t him really mad. It was him angry because he was scared. 

Huffing out her breath she reconsidered what to say to him, saw the uneasiness in his eyes when he could tell she wasn’t just going to yell back like he’d plan. Big idiot probably preferred it that way, she mused a little, at least  _ that _ he was used to.

“I’m not sayin’ that nothin’ bad’s gonna happen there.” Her voice was calm, steady, he was scanning back and forth between each of her eyes, she wasn’t sure for what. “I guess I just figure we gotta come to terms with the fact that that’s the way it’s gonna be. We’re gonna find places to regroup and rest in, and maybe they’re not safe, or won’t stay safe, but we gotta keep tryin’ to find a place to call home. Even for a little while.”

She waited patiently as he continued to study her, she’d been pretty erratic since she’d been back with him, so no doubt he was trying to figure just how seriously he could take her words. Or maybe he really didn’t want to get his hopes up about what Aaron was telling them about. Either way, after a long minute or two he gave a harsh breath through his nose, not quite a snort and straightened up.

“And anyway.” She muttered when he’d finally looked away from her. “If anything about the place makes me  _ think _ it’s like Grady, I’ll say somethin’ and  _ then _ y’all can start shootin’ people.”

Daryl turned back, his look incredulous, and she tried a little smile. It wasn’t as unstoppable or probably as sweet as the one from this morning, but it made him freeze a little, she watched as he traced the edges of it with his eyes before meeting hers. He growled a bit, nothing scary, and she knew by the way the narrowness in his eyes shifted that he was trying to take her up on the renegotiation of their truce.

“Hell, it’d mean I had t’ be around people again.” Her face scrunched into a wider smile at his muttering and they turned in unison to keep walking the perimeter.

“Yeah, those  _ poor _ people, they’ve got no idea.”

He hummed a little in agreement, and she turned her head some to see him eyeing her, she couldn’t have said what it was about the look but it tickled along the back of her neck, down her sides, made her want to shiver. But when he seemed to pick up on this, maybe realized he was staring a bit, he glanced away, and everything between them was silent again.

They were going to need to talk about everything, she thought for about the fifth time this day, about Grady, about what happened in the clearing before the storm. And while today might be crazy, she had to know where his mind was, before they got to where they were going and dealing with all the mess that was sure to make. She didn’t want this to be something that kept getting pushed further and further away, kept getting put on hold until they didn’t know how to get back to the way she was feeling about him right now.

Like just being with him was making her nerve endings spark, like the idea of holding his hand or wrapping her arms around him made her brain short circuit and her lungs forget to breathe, and the thought of kissing him? She glanced over, got an impression of sharp cheek bones and scruffy jaws before sliding back to the forest around her, she wanted to kiss Daryl Dixon as much she wanted her heart to keep beating, her voice to sing.

That night, after about ten more awkward conversations, and a few more near death experiences, everything finally settled down into a manageable kind of tension that they were all used to. They were in the warehouse and Aaron was with Eric, who Beth had gotten small chances to talk to and had just as high an opinion of, the others were starting to bed down for the evening – albeit slowly.

She was in the middle of catching small peeks at a restless Daryl when Maggie came to settle down next to her. They smiled casually at one another and Beth went back to trying to work out what specifically had the usually stoic hunter so wound up. Daryl was a study in contradictions at the best of times, quiet and raucously loud by turns, though less than he used to be, he was still – yet fidgeting by degrees and now he seemed to pace and stew by equal measure while she watched.

Being here with everyone while Rick, Michonne, and Glenn had gotten separated had been rough on him, they’d had enough people to be plenty safe. Had holed up here with Eric, and she’d watched him become more and more agitated as time passed. No doubt blaming himself for anything that might happen to the other members of their family while he wasn’t with them.

She’d wanted to remind him that the seating choice had been Rick’s call, but since part of that decision probably sprung up from the fact that the man knew how anxious it made Daryl to be away from her, Beth had decided to stay quiet. But even now, with everyone back and safe, he was very much on edge, and she couldn’t quite figure out the why.

“So.” Maggie began tiredly, taking her gun out disassembling it, only to begin putting it back together, apparently for something to do. “Noticed Daryl didn’t mind beddin’ down by you last night.”

Beth gave her a glare and a smile that her sister returned, still moving practiced fingers over the different pieces of the firearm in her hands.

“It was more like this mornin’ and it was probably just because he was too tired to move anywhere else.” Beth answered, watching as the man in question walked out of the room they were all gathered in, moving deeper into the warehouse. 

“So you guys all made up and everythin’?” She looked at Maggie suspiciously, not at all trusting that too innocent tone.

“Sort of I suppose. Why?” Her sister smiled a little knowingly to herself, sliding the clip into the reassembled gun, flicking her eyes to Beth.

“Just wonderin’ when y’all were gonna get around to kissin’ or doin’ somethin’ other than those damn backrubs.”

“Maggie!” She hissed, smiling falsely at Tara who had looked over at her outburst. “Is right now  _ really _ the best time for you to be worryin’ about this?”

“And the  _ looks _ .” Maggie continued as if Beth hadn’t spoken. “Lord have  _ mercy _ but I’ve never seen so much ocular intercourse in my  _ life _ .”

“Oh for cripes sake Maggie would you  _ stop _ ?” She pleaded, face heating slightly.

“Well that was mostly before last week, but y’all yelled each other back together again, and believe me little sister the making up part is why ya fight to begin with.”

“Are ya tryin’ to embarrass me ta’ death right now?” Her face was one solid shade of red, she could feel the warmth radiating out from specifically her cheeks, and placed two chilled palms on them in an attempt to hide and calm them. 

“First I was tryin’ to make conversation.” Maggie replied easily. “But then, yeah, Daryl left and so now I’m needlin’ you so ya go after him.”

“God Maggie!” Her half-hearted slap landed with a  _ thunking _ noise on her sister’s arm. “Why do you  _ care _ so much about this?”

“Because I love you Bethy.” She quickly forgot about her cheeks when she saw Maggie’s expression. “We all love the both of you, an’ it isn’t like we talk about it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t a fair share of us wonderin’ what’s holdin’ y’all back.”

“Well, I mean I’ve been…” She didn’t quite know how to explain it, didn’t think she’d  _ have _ to, Daryl wasn’t the only one to notice how reckless she’d been acting, he just seemed to be the one most affected by it. “An’ I haven’t told him…about Grady.”

“And is that everything?” Maggie asked after she seemed to figure out that Beth couldn’t really explain, thankfully not recommending she talk about the hospital right then since she’d brought it up.

“I don’t…” She trailed off looking at the door he’d disappeared through. “I’m not sure I mean, he’s probably worried about what people’ll think if we  _ do _ get together.”

Maggie nodded a little, Beth was sure if it had been any earlier in the group’s existence, that Maggie would have had  _ quite _ a few negative things to say about a man of Daryl’s age and background shacking up with her teenage sister, but things were different now, they were all different now.

“He’s thinkin’ we’d yell at ‘im?” Beth huffed a little at the question.

“That, but he’d probably expect it, I’d think he’d be more worried about the way everyone would  _ think _ about him you know? How they’d treat him.” She paused a little, not sure if she should say the rest before shrugging and going for it. “Daryl hates losin’ people, always has, since at least the prison. Haven’t talked to him about it, but that’d be my guess.”

There was a not so uncomfortable silence while they both thought about what Beth had said before Maggie continued with a sigh.

“Well Bethy, until you guys  _ do _ talk about it, you won’t know for sure.” Beth swayed with the force of Maggie’s good natured push. “So hop up sis, go get your man and figure out when he’ll be ready to stick his tongue in your mouth.”

“You’re a really terrible person, you know that?” Beth gasped as she held in a laugh, making a few more light hearted blows to her sister’s arm and side.

“G’on now.” Maggie laughed, waving her hand dismissively as Beth climbed to her feet. “Make me proud.”

“Oh lord, Daryl an’ I’d both be havin’ fits if I tried makin’  _ you _ proud Maggs.” Beth muttered, rolling her eyes at the grin being flashed her way.

“Bet ya’d have fun ‘til then though.” Beth had to quick-walk from the room just to avoid making eye contact with anyone else before she made it out.

It wasn’t too hard to find him, she just followed the now reassuring smell of tobacco and smoke, he was in one of the larger rooms of the warehouse, gazing up through the skylights. Moonlight didn’t so much as glint off his unwashed hair as it did cling to random strands, highlighting the shape of his skull, the curve of the bone.

He looked over at her as soon as she took a step in through the doorway, looking uncomfortable but not exactly surprised to see who it was. He didn’t say anything, just continued smoking as she made her way across the mud streaked cement before coming to a stop a foot or so in front of him.

“We gonna talk about what happened before?” Apparently today was one for being direct, she was sick of waiting. 

Well that wasn’t exactly it, she’d wait forever (corniness recognized) if he said he wanted to be with her, if he needed time to become comfortable with all the aspects of being in a relationship. If he needed her to tell him every waking moment of what had happened to her in Grady. The thing was, they’d never really had any kind of talk about what was going on between them, and while he  _ did _ look at her in the ways she’d expect of someone wanting more than friendship, getting things out in the open couldn’t hurt.

“Hell no.”

Or not.

“ _ Seriously _ ?” He’d obviously known exactly what she’d been referring to, probably had an idea what she was going to say soon as he looked over and saw her at the door. 

She tried to stop her brow from furrowing, her hands from flying out to the side, they were  _ not _ gonna repeat that fight on the road. She wasn’t about to let him get away without at least  _ trying _ to talk about it, and she wasn’t going to let his usual way of dealing (being an asshole) with things he found uncomfortable (most any emotion) cause her to lash out. 

“Look, s’fine ok? Things got outta hand.” She was utterly confused by his words. Why was he making it sound like it was something she hadn’t meant to do? Like they’d been out drinking and she’d made a pass at him, unwanted but understandable. 

That wasn’t it at all.

And what about their time in the barn? That clearing wasn’t the only place where’d they’d touched more than what was typically found in the average run of the mill platonic relationship.

“You’re right they did.” She answered, noticing the way his eyes narrowed a little more, obviously not trusting her agreeing with him so quickly, and now she did cross her arms over her chest, she needed the armor. “But that’s not why I tried to kiss you Daryl.”

As if saying it out loud made the panic spring up just as harshly as it had when the event occurred, his eyes widened in shock before casting a worried search over her shoulder to the still open door.

“Keep your damn voice down.” He snapped, and Beth tugged her arms tighter together, feeling suddenly like she was making an idiot of herself.

He didn’t want people to know. Didn’t want them to think what? That he would kiss her, that he wanted her like that? Would it be so awful? He’d seemed happy enough to be close to her before all this, before Grady and being back with everyone. Her mind was starting to spiral but she couldn’t seem to slow it down too much. She was keeping ahold of herself but that didn’t mean she had control either, she was just fully aware of the things coming out of her mouth.

“God do ya  _ hate _ me that much?” She could feel it now, the bunching of skin between her brows, dried skin rubbing together as she pursed her lips to keep them from trembling. 

He exhaled his last drag, trailing dark set blues over her face and circling arms, before dropping the filter and bit of ash to the ground and stepping on it. Eyes casting away before tripping back to her, large curving hands clenching without their item of distraction.

“Didn’ think ya’d want people knowin’ what happened.” She didn’t stop her head from shaking even before he got finished.

That couldn’t be true, Daryl was not a liar, but that couldn’t be true. And he was looking at her now like it was paining him to even lay eyes on her, let alone consider  _ ever _ trying to kiss her or be kissed by her. And she’d expected it to be awkward this conversation, but she hadn’t expected it to hurt, not like the way it was picking at her, like his fidgeting nails are working her heart muscle, digging at the beating flesh and flicking away dripping bits.

“Well you’re right.” And her voice sounded a few octaves higher than it should, but she couldn’t seem to stop and he was going all still in front of her. And she’d started now so what was the point of stopping if the stopping would make it sound so much worse than it already was? “There’s a lot of stuff I wouldn’t want them knowin’, like the way you look at me sometimes like ya can’t stand the sight of me.”

His eyes closed slightly like a flinch without the movement and the muscles in his forearms started to stand out as his fists clenched hard beside his hips.

“Or how half of me hates the way things went back at the funeral home, that we ever had to leave, ‘cause I sure as shit liked it better when you were willing to be yourself around me.” The words were flowing like a broken faucet and all she could manage to do were hold his eyes with hers as she continued. “When you didn’t mind holding my hand or givin’ me a damn piggyback ride like it wasn’t nothin’.”

She wasn’t quite sure if she was being fair here but the only thing she could think about was how much she missed that easy contact, that carefree back and forth. The way he’d muttered about not liking the others watching while he rubbed her back, it made such perfect sense in her mind of what she was half accusing him of, losing interest because they were back with the others, or being too afraid to pursue interest because of the same.

“Us bein’ with ‘em again ain’t got nothin’ t’ do with that.” His mouth was fixed in a harsh line, his face gone rosy, but it must be from anger because she couldn’t think of what could make him bashful about what he’d said.

“Then what does?” What a stupid question, she knew it even before his face twisted up incredulously and the words came shooting through his tight lips.

“Ya know  _ exactly _ what the hell’s been goin’ on.” 

She nodded, conceding the point, she did know and maybe she wasn’t yelling but she wasn’t handling this as calmly and rationally as she’d intended. The man wound her up too easily, pushed all sorts of buttons without even meaning to probably… _ Probably _ .

“I haven’t been right.” There, a confession, he sure better appreciate it, because he wasn’t the only one not enjoying this conversation. “I get that now, saw it clear enough in your face when I…”

How to even finish that sentence? When she’d disregarded everything he’d said on the road? When she threw it in his face that he cared about her? Or when she’d tried to kiss him? She was building up quite the list that was worthy of some pretty resentful looks on his part.

“But after…the barn? An’ the storm. I was thinkin’ maybe you saw somethin’ different then.”

He’d yanked his eyes away again, was rubbing his thumbs so roughly against his index fingers she could swear the sound of grinding half catching flesh was echoing inside the mammoth room. And then in an air killing moment he shrugged, the motion was followed by complete silence as she waited for something a  _ little _ more concrete to surface before she got too excited.

He nodded.

Beth took an immediate step forward, not too fast, but it drew his eyes back to hers for when she resumed talking.

“So…” Her mouth and throat had suddenly ingested cotton without her knowledge or consent. “So maybe, you’d be willin’ to rethink the idea of me kissin’ you?”

She could almost laugh, the way his face flushed, so dark there was more red than brown to it. Could laugh, to stop the tears that tickled and hissed around her ducts, or at least to make the sound, so that the liquid wouldn’t be lonely as it rolled down her smiling cheeks. She’d taken another step towards him, small, not wanting to crowd him but needing to be closer. Beth didn’t want to miss a single eye flicker, one shade of his shifting coloring.

“Don’ think you sayin’ ya wanna do that helps ya prove you ain’t crazy.” And she did let a puff of laughter escape, because she was pretty sure he was back to making fun of her being crazy instead of worrying that she  _ actually _ was.

“Is that Daryl for yes?” She knew he probably didn’t appreciate the smile lifting at the corners of her mouth, the laughter that twined her words, considering he looked about ready to crawl out of his skin.

“Tha’s redneck English fer I think yer cracked.” His words sounded a little harsh but she felt no actual heat behind them. 

In fact, the only change of temperature was to her skin, the lining of her stomach, that summer storm feeling was back – and the charge of it leapt back and forth between them in a current.

“I’m not hearin’ a no.” She murmured, accompanied by another small step, only to by blocked by his suddenly crossed arms before he spoke.

“We gotta talk, ‘bout Grady, sometime.” He said definitively, and she nodded, this much they already agreed on, but he wasn’t done. “An’ I ain’t lookin’ t’ be no one’s cheap thrill.” Beth shook her head confused, he kept doing this, she’d be so sure she was on the same path as him, only to find out she wasn’t even on the same type of road.

“Dar-”

“Too damn old t’ be sneakin’ kisses out in the woods, or behind the fuckin’ barn.” What was this emotion he was throwing at her? It wasn’t mad, wasn’t quite fear…she couldn’t exactly grasp it.

“I-”

“Hey Daryl?” The two turned in unison to the door behind her, Glenn stood uncertainly, eyes ticking between the two, apparently aware (if rather late) that he was interrupting something. “Rick’s uh…” Another tick-tock look back and forth. “He’s wanting to do a perimeter check and set up a watch schedule for tonight.”

She didn’t know who she wanted to smack right now, but it only seemed fair that she get to do it to somebody. Looking back to him, Beth found his eyes already firmly set on her, and now the expression there was considering. She didn’t know of what, or which of them it was, but he seemed to be mulling some aspect over before nodding (to her or to Glenn she wasn’t sure).

“Comin’.” He muttered, releasing her gaze from his and following her brother-in-law from the room.

When she made her slow uncertain way back to the room where everyone was hunkered down in, she gave an uncertain smile to Maggie’s questioning thumbs up. Gathering her stripped towel, and finding a decent patch of floor, she curled up in order to think.

Talking would happen. Sure. Eventually that’d be a conversation she had to get through.

He wanted her to know he wasn’t looking to just mess around? He didn’t want to be used to distract or kill time? Fine by her, she didn’t want any of those things either. Didn’t want them to sneak around and hide, the two of them together being something he saw as her feeling embarrassed or ashamed of? Also totally not a problem for her, she could never be any of those things while being with him.

So maybe…maybe those weren’t more excuses…maybe they were just…ground rules?

Which meant he was willing to…try?

Beth brought up her clenched fists from underneath their resting place of her chin, and pressed them hard against her lips, trying not to release the odd little shrilling noise blocked up in her throat.

_ Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! _

Kissing Daryl Dixon was starting to look like a  _ real _ possibility. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for all the support, and as I always say, all feedback is welcome!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhh...talking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Thanks for all the support, you guys are all blowing me away with the enthusiasm on every update. I really appreciate all the love, and hope to keep it going with this chapter, so without further chitty chat.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading. ^.~

**Chapter 15**

He was in trouble. No way around it, no use second guessing the notion. He watched her climb onto the RV where he was keeping watch while they got the engine trouble worked out, and the knowledge hit him like a fist in the gut. She smiled at him and his blood gave a shuddering little half pump through his veins and he knew.

He was at some point, going to have to deliver on all those sordid little day dreams he’d been having about her. From the car ride to Richmond, in the forest after she’d tried to kiss him, and then in the barn, he’d had all these near tactile flashes of want – something he’d never had about a specific person – and she’d given him the all clear to start on – at least – some of them.

And he was in big fuckin’ trouble.

He twisted back to stare ahead at the road, feeling her come stop along his side, like a sunrise, and he did everything he could not to shuffle like a jackass on his feet. He couldn’t quite figure out how it had gotten to the point where he adamantly wanted to do unspeakable things to a teenager with bright hair and brighter eyes, how that teenager seemed to want to do the same to him…The thought alone sent a quick little quake straight south, Daryl evened his breathing angrily, he was still on watch and it wasn’t her goddamn fault he couldn’t keep his mind on task.

Plus, they still had to talk, that was still something that _had_ to happen before _anything_ else.

If she was wanting this, wanting him, as bat-shit insane as that still sounded, then they’d also have to…tell people. Maybe not necessarily right out loud, but people would see them sitting by one another, maybe catch them…kissing…if he could work himself up to it. If her and that sweet pitched voice of hers could override decades of his body learning to reject any and all physical contact that felt threatening.

And Beth Greene wanting to kiss him?

That was the most threatened Daryl had felt in a long fuckin’ time. Girl held so much purity and love within those eyes of hers on any given day, it made him feel like he never had had either. And it wasn’t a purity in that he thought of her as…he didn’t know about any of that, didn’t need her to be a…but her emotions were pure. She wasn’t much of one for guile or games, and that was attractive to him, because there was no way he’d be able to handle any kind of emotional hoop jumping.

And love. Well shit, she might love him as a member of the group, but again, that wasn’t the love that drew him to her. It was the way she’d seemed to feel about everyone and everything she enjoyed in her life. That unashamed attachment that he’d never had the courage, or chance, to show.

His eyes left the road to cut in her direction at his side, feeling the jump in his skin at her proximity, along with the thrilled uneasiness that he wasn’t used to but wasn’t completely against feeling either. Taking a deeper breath he shifted his stance a little, not much, barely noticeable but it brought them that much closer to having their arms touch.

Chilling shocks wound around his bicep, smacking into elbow and shoulder joint before branching along his chest and shoulder blade, when she shifted the rest of the distance in. He just needed to act like a damn adult right now, no flinching, or hyperventilating, she was apparently fucking _aware_ of him like he was of her. Got his tiny motions, at least for right now, trying to show his willingness to…

_Try._

Christ it wasn’t like he hadn’t done this shit before, except it was _exactly_ like that. Because it didn’t matter the small amount of faceless women in bars or in some shitty apartment or trailer he’d pawed at or been pawed by. None of them were her, and he’d never wanted anyone or _any_ damn thing the way he wanted Beth Greene. And fuck, she was tearing up his heart just by touching her goddamn arm to his.

Wanting had been a suicide mission before the world went tits up, and now it was for the truly masochistic sonsofbitches, whose ranks he was apparently leaping into. Because even as his lungs tried to work themselves up his esophagus out of the panic and the unaccustomed contact, he still found himself wishing he could do more even as he didn’t.

Wanted to maybe sling an arm across her shoulders, she’d probably smile at that, crazy woman that she was. Probably think it was cute or some shit like that, big ol’ redneck throwing a meaty limb around her like she belonged there. He huffed out a silent breath, what the hell did he think he was doing with this girl? She leaned in a little more, and he near rolled his eyes at his own idiocy, as he immediately did the same. Feeling how it was almost like they were holding one another up now with the pressure.

Lord only knew what Beth could get him to do, if he was ready for it or not, if it’d kill him or not. He wanted her bad like breathing, but was terrified as fuck of her too, because wanting was dangerous and always had been and here he was – wanting someone and something that’d been hard enough to come by for regular people before the walkers and most of the humanity died out of the world.

“You worried?” His attention whiplashed out of his circuit running thoughts to the quiet voice next to him, and he turned his head a little, stopping before he saw her eyes. Standing this close was distracting enough without looking her full in the face.

What had she asked? Was he worried? Well fuck yeah, he was worried about pretty much every damn thing there was going on at the moment. Between them, with the group, where they were headed, who they would meet, what that’d mean for the group, what’d mean for him, for him and Beth. But none of it would do her any good to know about and wasn’t doing him any good to do in the first place. So in lieu of a complete lie he shrugged.

His one hand was wrapped around the stock of his cross bow, and now, as uncertain and gut churningly hesitant little chilled fingers crept in, his other hand was wrapped around hers. It wasn’t the first time, but the first time had been under much different circumstances. Though, he reminded himself as his hold tightened marginally, the intent was the same. To comfort. She’d run her fingers in between his then as she did now, to comfort the both of them.

And just as it had then, it did now, and he took an embarrassingly shaky in draw of air.

Aaron had better hope this community was everything he’d professed it to be, or Daryl would make sure his death, first _and_ second, was as slow as time and circumstance allowed. Bad enough the whole family was going into a situation that felt a little too similar to Terminus, bringing Lil’ Asskicker along with them this time.

But now too, there was Beth, and what she meant to him and…Well, the man had just better pray Daryl got killed quick, if this was more of the same twisted bullshit as they’d seen before. Otherwise, somebody was gonna pay for getting her hopes up.

And his.

“You gonna stick by me, when we get there?” He wasn’t sure why he was making it a question, it usually worked better when he made it a bit of an order, like he was pulling rank to keep her safe.

But now things were shifting and he didn’t want her to think that he wasn’t going to take what she wanted seriously, with this, and every other aspect of what might happen between them. Not to mention, he couldn’t risk him being an asshole and her getting her back up about that kind of thing right now, before they got into this unknown situation, had to make sure they were as solid as the last three turbulent weeks would allow.

Her grip tightened and he felt her knock her temple, flyaway hair tickling along his bared skin, sweat speckled flesh sticking slightly to his own, against his bicep right where it met the shoulder.

“’Course.” She answered, still quietly, but with a firmness that made him nod, either a thank you or just an acceptance of her words he wasn’t sure.

His thumb began making fidgeting passes along her index finger until a nearly imperceptible shiver lanced up her arm making him still. His awareness of where they were and how viewable they were to the rest of their family tickled along his sweat soaked neck and the backs of his arms. But he refused to take his hand from hers just as, after a few breath steadying movements, he began more deliberate sweeps and rotations with the pad of his thumb.

He’d told her he wasn’t willing to hide, felt too much like a fuckin’ lie and he wasn’t gonna lie about something this goddamn important, and he’d told her he wasn’t willing to just mess around so she knew he was serious about this too.

He might not know a lot about couples or about being in a relationship like the one he was going to be in with Beth, since she had decided this is what she wanted, not to mention the fact that the idea of public acts of affection made him want to vomit. But he was pretty sure, despite all of the other, that holding hands with the one you were with was both expected and accepted.

And besides, he fuckin’ wanted to, and if anyone said anything they could fuckin’ blow him, because Beth was running little electric pulses up his arm into his major organs and the longer it happened the more he was pretty goddamn sure that he actually _did_ like it. And from the way she was tilting her head closer to his shoulder like she was thinking about resting it there a little more permanently than the previous light knock, she was enjoying his small attentions to her quickly warming digits.

The sounds of the RV starting up roused him from the debate he’d been having, eyes scanning either side of the road, if she’d like him to change up his hold a little, start scraping his thumb along the inside of her palm a bit. Nothing, too crazy, not for now, but he thought, since she’d initiated the contact, that maybe she wouldn’t mind him doing that. That he wouldn’t mind him doing that either. Might make her breath catch a bit, let him feel that little shiver that had caught at him like predator after prey.

She gave him one last squeeze before releasing him, but before moving away she took an extra moment to run contact warmed fingertips down the inside of his forearm, causing all the muscles in connection to twitch and jerk and he had to contain his own little shiver in response. Not prey then, another predator…the word _mate_ flitted along the back of his skull as he watched her make her way down the rickety looking metal ladder to the ground.  

The thought was quickly chased by another wave of panic and he clenched his molars together while he made his own way down. It was painfully obvious he was going to have to take fucking baby steps here to avoid some kind of goddamn pussy panic attack that would embarrass him to the point of no return. He knew both his body and his mind agreed on the interest he felt towards Beth, but it didn’t seem to be enough to quickly overcome years of conditioning and disinterest when it came to the opposite sex or connection in general.

Disinterest might not be the right term, he liked sex just fine, he just fuckin’ hated people.

Simple.

He was almost grateful that the rest of the day went as quickly as it did. Them getting to the community, being on high alert the whole damn time, feeling like his head was on a swivel, every sense peaked as he waited for some kind of attack that didn’t come. Making sure every time he turned his head a certain way he caught a flash of blonde out of the corner of his eye.

Then they were handing over weapons, well, the rest of them handed over their guns and he made it clear he’d rather go stay in the woods than let his bow get anywhere close to coming off his back. Only a little mollified when they gave into his stubborn refusal, and then there was the awkward interview with the woman Deanna who’d have no doubt been leading initiatives to have people like him and his kin moved farther out into the sticks where they couldn’t harass upstanding members of the community like herself before the world went all to shit.

She couldn’t seem to get much of a handle on him which suited Daryl just fine, but she surprised him by staying nice even when he barely answered or acted like he could care less about what she was talking about. Either the woman wasn’t as fuckin’ snooty as he’d originally pegged her as, or she was a good liar, in any event he’d have to keep an extra set of eyes on her.

He was cleared into the community, invited to shower (which he did long enough to wash the heaviest layer of dirt off) and to make himself comfortable. But since that wasn’t likely he chose to pace around the homes they’d been allotted, ranging around like a caged animal until blonde hair could be seen leaving Deanna’s and headed his way.

He took an unconscious step towards her, nodding at her shaking smile as she closed the rest of the distance. His eyes couldn’t seem to help rolling along every inch of flesh they could, even though he knew she must be fine. She was one of the last ones to be interviewed, and everyone had reported the same, the leader seemed polite and as far as they could tell genuine, giving some of them jobs (not him) and telling them to make themselves at home.

He was skinning the possum he’d bagged outside the gate later on, a few of the family walking around the edge of his peripheral as they got settled, when he heard Rick tell Carl he could go explore the other house if he were quick about it. A small flare of surprise hit him when the quiet blonde a little behind and to the left of him didn’t offer to tag along. He’d flashed her about three curious glances, trying to figure out what to say when she spoke.

“Am I buggin’ you?” Her voice was quiet and he turned to see her fully, she sounded on edge and he couldn’t have that. For a whole fuckin’ slew of reasons. “Sittin’ here like this?” She added, after he had failed to answer the first bit.

“Nah.” He shook his head, eyes still locked with hers, and he noticed finally that she hadn’t made a move to go and shower, had chosen to stick to his hip instead. “Be buggin’ me if ya weren’t.”

He’d said the last half mostly to himself but she was close enough to catch it and for some unknown reason it seemed to please her, earning him the first unstrained smile he’d seen from her since they arrived.

“Would ya mind…” She stalled out a little before shaking her head and he offered a questioning hum in reply. “It’s nothin’ I jus’…” Her eyes tracked along his face before shaking her head again.

“Ya’lright?” He ignored the other presence, who he thought was Rick, out on the porch with them, but Beth was casting furtive glances away from him before shaking her head for the third time and beginning to spin the fabric tied around her scarred arm.

He’d noticed she kept it, even though it was filthy with all the fighting she’d been doing with it on, had kept the other scraps of his shirt too, telling anyone who asked that she’d planned to find a use for them. He couldn’t figure out why it snagged at him the way it did.

“Yeah, I just.” She blinked those big blues at him, and he had a hard time to keep from blurting that if she’d _spit out_ whatever it was she needed from him he’d fuckin’ do – if it’d get that look of uncertainty and near fear off her face. “I got a favor to ask you tomorrow.”

“Why can’tcha ask it now?” He murmured, almost able to _feel_ the warmth of their spectator like a constant reminder that they weren’t alone.

“It’s nothin’ real important I just…”

And he wanted to snap at her, tell her if she said the words ‘I just’ _one_ more time without finishing, he was going to box her ears (which was a complete fucking lie and she’d know it but _goddamn it_ ) and to say whatever was bothering her so he could fix it. But that look on her face made him stop and he just nodded like she’d given a discernable answer instead.

Trying to change the subject he jerked his head to the house. “Why don’tcha go shower or somethin’, everybody’s back, there’s hot water and everythin’.” Her eyes widened noticeably, and he felt the back of his neck heat up.

Well for fuck’s sake he hadn’t offered to go _with_ her. Was he crossing some kind of boundary by saying what he had? She’d loved the running water at the prison, even if it wasn’t heated, so he’d thought for sure she would have been up there and done by now…

Unless…he felt his eyes narrow more while he considered her, curled up, small frame pressed against the house, head almost resting against one of the windows. His crossbow to one side of her, him to the other, she obviously felt more on edge being here than Rick or even he did. This is what she had wanted but she obviously, understandably, hadn’t felt comfortable enough to go shower.

He didn’t press it, not for now, she’d talk to him about it when she was ready, and when her eyes slid from his he knew now wasn’t that time. He went back to cleaning the possum, gave it to a frowning Father Stokes to cook, and then went in search of the jittery blonde who had moved herself into the living room.

Rick dragged him outside for a few moments later on so that he, Carol, and Rick could agree on them all staying in the one house, and the one room, until they got a better feel of the place.

But it wasn’t until after Deanna had stopped by to check on them (and every other female in the group commented on Rick’s transformation without his beard) that things took a bit of a startling turn for his day that he hadn’t expected. They were all gathered, enjoying the comfort of the place, thick blankets, working lights, sound structure etc, when he noticed from his place curled up on the bench by Lil’ Asskicker’s new crib, Beth standing up fluidly from her place against one of the walls on the other side of the living room.

His attention was immediately on her, but it took several moments for the general chatter to jerk itself to a close and people reading to look up at its sudden halt.

“I wanted.” She stopped, and took a quick look around, eyes skimming passed his own and a little thrill of warning shot down his spine. “The thing is, and I know this won’t come as a shock to some of you-” _The fuck?_ If she was about to say what his gut was telling him she was, then who the fuck _wasn’t_ surprised? _He_ was, and he was part of it. “but Daryl and I, we’re…” She stumbled a little, hands clenching along her sides. “Well we’re gonna…” And now her eyes did tick to his – the ones that couldn’t have looked away if he’d pried them from his skull. “Try.”

And maybe it wouldn’t make sense to some of them, and to other people it could have sounded as somehow inadequate, but to him – Daryl knew exactly what she meant and why she was doing it, even if the incredibly public announcement made him curl tighter around himself and mildly want to die. He had to admit he sort of had this coming, telling her he wasn’t going to mess around or sneak away to be with her like a secret they shouldn’t want seen in the light of day.

She was doing this as much for him as herself, and maybe even giving the others a heads up whether they deserved one or not, needed one or not. He could feel his own gaze burning itself through her, noticed the way she swallowed and smiled cautiously, probably taking his lack of fleeing as encouragement…which it was.

“Nothin’s happened and since I decided to do this maybe nothin’ ever will.” He felt a few eyes pull his way, but he couldn’t stop looking at her, beautiful and brave, lined ponytail to boot tip with dirt. “But I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t want nothin’ to, or hide it if somethin’ does like I’m ashamed, ‘cause I’m not.”

By the end of her little impromptu speech, he was well and truly blushing, kind of wishing she’d stopped a few sentences ago, but again he had no one to blame for his embarrassment but himself. Shit, he’d basically dared the girl to do it, and what the fuck did he expect Beth Greene to do with something like that? Didn’t stop him from wanting to phase through the goddamn wall at his back when her words were met with a total silence, all eyes in the room (other than the sleeping baby’s) swiveled to him.

“Daryl?” He’d turned his own gaze down, soon as heads had started rotating his way, but flicked it back up at the sound of Rick’s voice. Reading only curiosity in the haunted eyes he knew so well, before another voice was pulling his attention.

“D’you…” Maggie’s smile was a mixture of supporting and inquisitive, with just a little splash of uncertainty that made him fidget, picking at his hands as she continued. “Are you wantin’ the same?”

Confusion swamped him a bit at her question, Beth had said _he_ and she were going to try, the both of them. And while there would’ve been no way in any level of hell he’d have ever, _ever_ , said all those other things, he was in basic agreement with them, had said as much to her at the warehouse. Of course, he realized, Maggie hadn’t heard that conversation and it made him feel a little bit better that apparently Beth hadn’t told her sister _every_ detail of what they’d talked about.

Taking a hurried sweeping glance of the room, he found a lot of curious faces, unable to swallow passed the desert in his throat, he shrugged, before looking down again. He’d probably just disrespected the fuck out of Beth, who’d had the courage to stand up in front of everyone they both cared about, in this new and possibly dangerous place, and lay it all on the line. While he, a man twice her damn age, and nearly twice her tiny size, shrugged like a jackass to a question he couldn’t answer a more resounding yes to in his head.

“Well.” Rick’s pleased tone snapped his eyes back, and he noticed vaguely how the absence of the beard made the other man’s grins much easier to pinpoint. “Ok then.”

Everyone then turned away, looking to Daryl like they were just about to go back to chatting and reading, like none of them had any kind of fucking opinion or condemning evidence as to why this was _not_ a good thing. Like none of them noticed how much older he was, rougher he was, dirtier, dumber, uglier, meaner, and a list a mile long – overall _worse_ than she was. In fact, several of them, Rick, Carol, Michonne, Glenn, and Maggie, all had goofy grins on their faces like they couldn’t control their damn upticking mouths.

“Tha’s it?” Holy fuck had he just spoken? Daryl tried to gulp back the words but the return of all eyes to him made it clear that wasn’t a possibility. He glanced quickly at Beth, seeing her casting her own quick look around the room. “Y’all ain’t gonna say nothin’?”

He couldn’t stop his eyes from staying longer on those grinning five, knowing, even if he’d never fucking admit it, that it was _their_ opinion of him and Beth’s relationship that mattered the most. Them being against it wouldn’t stop him, not now, not after everything that’d happened the last three weeks, but it would bother him something awful if the two of them being together made those five hate him.

“What did you expect?” And that motherfuckin’ _brother_ of his wasn’t even _trying_ to hide his slow curving smile, hands placed on his hips like they still held up a holster.  

And he wanted to yell, tell him to get that stupid fuckin’ smirk off of his pretty boy face, or at least do a decent job of glaring, but all that he could seem to manage was another shrug before Maggie was speaking up again.

“That we’d yell?” She flashed a smile over to Beth and Daryl made a note to ask the blonde about it later. Of course that would mean they’d have some kind of a _private_ moment later, which sent both thrills and chills _all_ through his tightly wound frame.

“Call you names?” Glenn jumped in, his smile just as easy.

The whole damn bunch of them were working together to do stupid things to his idiot throat and useless eyes. He swore to god, as Rick took a step or two closer, that if he became noticeably emotional he’d scale that damn wall and disappear _tonight_.  

Beth’s blue eyes lit and flashed with the lamplight to the side of Rick’s whipcord figure, and he knew he was lying to himself, even as the man began to speak, making Daryl lock eyes with him once again.

“Act like we don’t _know_ what kinda man you are all of a sudden?”

He didn’t know how he’d managed it, to get this group of people to trust him like they did, care for him like they did, just like he couldn’t have told anyone how it was Beth had come to decide he was worth any extra attention at all. But fuck if they weren’t about to make a fool of him in front of God and everybody.

“Awe!” The boisterous voice made a few of them, including Daryl, jump. “Y’all are so _cute_ !” Daryl did manage a decent glare at the large redhead that was beaming at all of them like he’d just happened on a room full of Redbone pups. Abraham’s smile was like the muscled nut job was out killing walkers as he looked at Daryl. “ _I_ wish ya well on _all_ your future hunting endeavors.” Daryl added clenched jaws to his narrowed eyes as the flashing smile switched over to a pink-faced Beth. “And of course.” Daryl pushed a hard breath through his nose. “I’m addressin’ the fair Miss Greene with that remark.”

There were many easy smiles around the room and Daryl couldn’t stop the snort or the shake of his head, as this time, people went unhindered back to what they’d been doing, and a hesitant figure made their way across the room to him.

He moved his bow and, as soon as he was placing it on the ground, she was curling up on the bench at his side. Daryl caught her quick glance before they lapsed into a heavy silence that played along his nerves.

Before he could manage to do anything to unsettle everything they’d been working on, he reached out suddenly to grasp the nearest hand she had placed in her lap. He linked their fingers and dropped it down between them to the wood below, like he had beside the campfire that day they’d eaten deer, shielding the contact mostly from view but refusing to pull away even if it was seen.

If she could be brave, he had to give it a shot too, owed her that much at least.

He leaned back, slightly disturbing the blinds, hearing them scratch lightly along the window’s sill, eyes shutting for one elongated moment when he felt a soft cheek lay itself on his arm. She smelled like road dust, wet bark, old sweat, and Beth – it was hard for him not to turn and sink his nose into the hair that filled his peripheral vision. And he thought he’d be feeling mortified, by her speech, by the attention, the reaction, all of it, but instead he was just fuckin’ _grateful_.

Grateful for her strength, so that right now, on this night when they were even less sure about their safety than they usually were, he was allowed the small comfort of her hand in his and her body warm and reassuring. He could handle most any threat that came at them, he thought, but for right now it was some kind of Beth inspired blessing to have this small respite before anything shit related started to hit the fan.

When it got late enough he went on watch, but not before he gave her hand one more squeeze, holding her gaze for a few long seconds before letting go, and headed out the door. She looked calm enough, pleased enough with the amount of contact they’d shared, which thank fuckin’ god because there was no way he was gonna have their first kiss be in front of the whole damn peanut gallery.

But it was coming, he knew that much as he hunkered down on the front porch and let the time pass over him like a dream, eyes scanning but mind nowhere near what it should be on. He couldn’t help it, even holding her hand like they had been, made dribbles and drops of smelted need go trudging down his veins. Each pump of the old heart muscle bringing it that much closer to his chest. It was like his lips itched, were suddenly restless, along with his tongue that patrolled the crevices and ridges of his mouth to excess.

It was in stark opposition to the way his heart beat too hard, jerked uncomfortably in its cage, the panicked undertone to his thoughts even as he wanted to move closer, feel more of her.

_Fuck –_

He knew the chances of him getting to have a normal fucking relationship were slim to none, but that didn’t stop it from pissing him the fuck off. He shook his head angrily, tearing a bit of skin along his thumb in the process. Rolling his tongue along the coppery depression he made a bit of a deal with himself, a kind of game plan for kissing her. He’d go for it, next time they were alone, next time it felt right (right as it could with the earthquake in his chest) and if the contact made him freak out like an idiot, he’d stop and hopefully…

Well shit, hopefully she’d be alright with moving slower, but he wasn’t fucking dropping this.

The way he felt about Beth, that’d never happened, not once, not in his entire goddamn life and he wasn’t willing to let it go just because he was scared shitless. Maybe he would have before but…after the hospital and all that, he didn’t believe much in a higher power but he wasn’t an idiot _all_ the time. And ignoring a second chance with her this blatant seemed like a pretty stupid thing to do.

And another thing, he reminded himself doggedly, they _still_ had to talk about what had happened to her at Grady. She didn’t seem real interested in starting that conversation and he wasn’t going to push her. But that in and of itself gave him a bit of an out, a little breathing room, because nothing – kissing or otherwise – could happen until they _did_ have that talk.

When Abraham relieved him, grinning the whole time like an asshole, Daryl headed back inside and stretched out alongside her with a sigh. Instead of using one of the community’s thick well-made blankets, she was half covered in that stupid towel again. His mouth twitched a little as she curled into a little stripped ball, fuzzy hair clinging to the pillow. He fell asleep on his back next to her, contemplating different things that shared her same characteristics.

Still looking for the right nickname…

He woke with the first rays of sunlight, fighting the shock of being in an unfamiliar place by darting quick eyes around him until things dropped into place for his memory. There was a warm mass heating his side, that must be Beth, and tilting his head on his arms he was greeted with slowly blinking pools of blue.

“Mornin’.” Her voice whispered across the bare parts of him, and he felt his eyes crinkle a little, smiling without the participation of his mouth.

“Hey.” He half growled in response, words catching and rolling hard through his throat like they usually did first thing in the morning.

They watched each other for a little bit, Daryl was hyperaware of all the sleeping bodies around him, along with the slightly more alert one that was cozied up next to half his ribcage. She was thinking about something that made those two little lines appear between her brows.

Her mouth was a thin worried line that nagged at him to make it curve. Girl was always smiling usually, hell even when she cried that mouth of hers was bared like it was moments away from changing its set. She even had a way of thinking with her lips slightly parted that instead of making her look like a slack jawed idiot just drew attention to her teeth and lips in a way that had always made him uncomfortable until now.

Fuck, the idea still made him uncomfortable, but at least _now_ he _knew_ why it had before.

Way too easy to catch hold of that bottom lip when she did that…

“Would you do me a favor?” She asked quietly, nudging a little farther forward.

“The one ya couldn’ ask me about yesterday?” He guessed easily, watching her nod, blue eyes flicking away from his and back as her cheeks colored slightly. “Whaddaya need?”

“One of the up stair rooms has a bathroom in it.” She explained lowly as his eyebrows clicked together in confusion. “Could you, would you be willin’ to hang out in the room ‘til I get done, in the shower? I just…”

And there were those two words again.

“I _just_ , can’t seem to wrap my head around it ya know? Bein’-” And here she swallowed hard, making his Adam’s apple bob along with the motion. “Well, a’ bein’ that vulnerable I guess.”

“Why didn’tcha ask Maggie?” He questioned, understanding the motivation but not necessarily why she needed it to be _him_.

“Because…Maggie’s tough but…” Blue eyes that seemed to fill all of his vision pinned him with such a look as to be unquestionable. “But if you’re out there, ain’t nothin’ gonna get to me.”

_Safe._

He made her feel safe? He had about ten quick reasons why that shouldn’t be the case, but all of them lodged up against his sternum, fighting his heart for space. And instead he found himself nodding, climbing to his feet with her, snagging his bow on the way out, and climbing the steps silently at her heels.

She’d grabbed fresh clothes and made sure she had every other thing she needed before disappearing into the confines of the bathroom. Daryl for his part, tried to ignore the fact that for a person confessing to be scared, she’d left the door unlocked after she’d closed it behind her. On impulse, he surged to his feet from his place along one of the far walls, and crossing the room clicked the lock to the bedroom door.

That might raise some eyebrows, but if someone walked in while she was in there, and he was out here. If they opened the bathroom door before he could stop them…Well there were many reasons to wanting that door locked that didn’t make him feel like a pervert. None of them seemed to stick very well though, and he prowled his way back to where his bow rested, folding himself down onto the floor to wait.

She was in there for a long stretch of time, steam rolled out from under the door, and instead of filling his head with all sorts of non-shower related thoughts, it just made his mouth quirk in a bit of a smile. He’d been fine with his half a cleaning, but he was more pleased than seemed right or sane, at the idea of her getting to soak in the hot water until it turned cool.

She’d been through a lot, deserved a nice relaxing bit of something when she could get it. Deserved peace of mind while she went about it too, so if she needed him on the other side of the door so she could bask a little in the water’s warm embrace, then right here is where his ass would continue to be.

The time stretched a little further on after the water cut off, and he imagined her running pinked fingers through her freshly shampooed and conditioned hair, getting some kind of brush or comb to do a more thorough job for the first time in – he didn’t even know how long. Maybe scowling at her steam hazy reflection as she battled against week entrenched tangles, picked impatiently at a twisted rat’s nest lurking at the crown of her head or behind an ear.

When the door finally swung open, it felt like he was coming out of a dream, and there she was all shiny and new looking. She was wearing her spare jeans, a dark grey tank hung from her shoulders, off-white undershirt instead of a bra, peeking out at the bottom and around her chest. She was barefooted, dirty clothes and boots in one hand as the other made trailing checks through her unbound hair.

“Decided just to leave the cloth band on.” She told him as he clambered awkwardly to his feet. He saw his ripped up shirt wrapped faithfully around her arm, turned darker tones by the water. “Couldn’t get the knot undone anyway.”

“Could cut it.” He offered, gesturing towards it sort of weakly, as his eyes continued to scan and rescan her body. She made a displeased _tsking_ sound while she set her pile of laundry on the bed, letting the boots _thunk_ to the ground as she did.

“It’ll dry just fine, I like it where it is.” She murmured, rubbing the hand that had carried the soiled clothing on her pant leg before having it join the check through of her hair with the other.

He wasn’t sure how, but one of them had taken a certain amount of steps towards the other so that they were now quite close. Beth’s eyes on his as she skillfully ran quick fingers through her lightly spiraling locks, and he watched each movement with an amount of fascination that would’ve embarrassed the hell out of him for someone else to see. But she didn’t seem to mind at all, as her neck tipped back to watch him, as he took in the flashes of fingertips popping through the near white ravels.

And then her hands were landing on his chest, he guessed they kind of had to with the way he was suddenly so much in her space, leaning over and into her, catching her brief look of surprise before his mouth touched hers. It was the soft give of her sun chapped lips on his, still over warm from the shower’s exposure that made him freeze.

_Fucking Christ._

His whole body all but seized with the realization of what he’d done, of what he was at this _moment_ doing. Eyes closed, nose brushing a heated cheek, mouth lightly covering her plusher one, while his arms hung uselessly at his sides – hands half rising like he’d thought to put them on her before coming back to his goddamn senses.

Something was supposed to have happened before this, they were supposed to have talked about-

He was one heartsick, panic stricken moment away from tearing his mouth from hers, when she was just as suddenly moving into him. Her initial shock dissipating much more quickly than his own, her hands flattened on his chest, not to push, but to allow the rest of her body to fit like a mold to his. He could feel the warmth of her chest pressed to his through vest and plaid, and her mouth, first unmoving, now added force to his in a way that ran lightning down the back of his throat.

He should stop, they should stop, his mind was in hysterics, muscles and tendons tensed enough to snap the bones they writhed around. It was all panic and mayhem, he should _not_ have done this, he had fucked up. No way in hell was he ready to be kissing Beth Greene. His stomach cinched its way upward trying to meld with his ribcage, and his heart didn’t know whether to stop or burst.

Her lips parted against his and she ran a quick seeking tongue tip along the seam of his mouth. If anything he quit breathing entirely, if he’d quit breathing before, he forgot how to, forgot he ever had. When he didn’t respond, the warm liquid pressure tried again, and the hands on his chest slid up until she gripped his hair. His jaw unlocked and her tongue met his while she made a little humming noise in the back of her throat.

The sound was like the ones he’d heard while his thumbs rotated quick circles into her trap muscles, and the memory had him rolling his tongue along hers in a similar way, the next noise she made was the same as when he was pressing stiffened fingers into her shoulder blades and now his hands _were_ on her and his mouth was moving against hers while he pulled her closer.

He knew these sounds, knew it meant he was doing something she liked, and the knowledge lit quick brands of fire from one end of him to the other, feeling his body heat and the muscles unclench until they were twitching with a whole different kind of feeling.

His hands slid over her hips, up her waist a ways until her could move them over her back the way he’d done those few other times. Working his mouth against hers, coarseness of his tongue catching at her own, as he spanned her shoulders and spine with fingertips, knuckles, and palms holding her as tightly to him as he could, as tightly as she could stand.

She tasted sweet, that didn’t surprise him at all, the hell else was someone as pure as her supposed to taste like? But there was a bite to that sugar on her tongue – it was what caught at him, made him delve deeper, hold on harder. A wildness tracked along with that slow saccharinity. The longer he kissed her the more he wanted, and the more he couldn’t place the flavor that slid insistently against his taste buds the longer he tried, kissing her until they broke apart with struggling lungs and wide eyes.

He probably would have moved back if it wasn’t for the death grip she had on his hair.

Probably, _maybe_ , fuck if he knew anymore.

He loosened his hold, he had to be hurting her, but the lack of force made her murmur a sound like a whine without the noise, it kicked off the back of her throat as she tightened her own arms, going on tiptoe for leverage. It had her sliding her body roughly against his in a way that ground against his pants, tugging a far more sinister sounding growl from his chest.

_Don’t even think about it._

He felt quite clearly the way his dick paid him little to no attention as it hardened against her restless frame. He really needed to get some distance here, she seemed –pink lips flashed at him with their slight swollenness – good with what he’d done. Didn’t feel too interested in letting him go anytime soon, meant she…she liked kissing him.

His face was heating, covering up to the tips of his ears and the back of his neck even as his head dipped down to slant his mouth over hers once more.

Well fuck, he really was losing his damn mind.

She let out a pleased little moan – this one the same as when he had used the heels of his hands, rubbing circles into her lower back – and her own hands now dropped their hold on his hair to fist into his vest, holding him as tightly to her as she could manage. He flexed his arms, one dropping to press the base of her spine more firmly against him, shock peaking over his arousal when she didn’t freeze at the feel of the hardness against her belly, but instead made an eager little noise that accompanied his movement.

_God-fucking-damn it._

_Too fast._

It went through his mind like echoes in the woods, resounding off different points inside his skull, but then she was running barely restrained teeth along his tongue and he thrust against her in reflex. A deeper moan this time – heels of his hands pressing down the length of her back on either side – and he groaned to hear it, to feel it, catching her bottom lip between his teeth before moving his hands up to her shoulders and pushing.

_Way too fucking fast._

He breathed hard, staring somewhere that was her chest but wasn’t, not with his eyes this unfocused. He wasn’t exactly sure what the fuck had just happened, had not thought their first kiss would go…well honestly that it would go that fucking well.

He didn’t kiss, not as a rule, he wasn’t that red haired chick from _Pretty Woman_ or anything but he’d avoided it all costs. It was way too intimate, the women were always forceful as fuck, jamming their tongues into his mouth making him want to gag. It was awkward because he didn’t like doing it, didn’t have the practice and ended up cracking teeth or moving his tongue in some kind of half-assed ineffective way that had earned him many confused looks.

All this summed up to his first kiss with Beth being some nervous peck or gradual pressing of lips. Which was obviously, _nothing,_ close to what had just happened, he’d never kissed anyone in his life like that, didn’t think it was even _possible_ for his mouth to fit against another person’s that way. No clicking teeth, no awkward wriggling, and no way was he supposed to have…

His pants still felt painfully tight, and the body that had gone from panic attack to level ten aroused, was coursing with barely contained energy. Hell, the lack of his body’s freak out made him freak out a little, did this mean he couldn’t trust it to put the brakes on when they were doing this stuff? Because he’d kind of been banking on that as a thing.

“Woah.” The barely breathed word drew his attention back to the girl he was still holding at arm’s length, slowly drying hair tickling one set of his knuckles. “You’re.” He could hear her swallow and attempted to do the same. “You’re really good at that.”

Hot lancing pride shot through him, a kind he’d never experienced, similar only to how he felt after bagging a large kill that could keep everyone fed, but still vastly different in the way it wrapped around him, dropped down low in his gut.

Without his strict permission his arms slackened and her weight drifted her back into him, but instead of going for another kiss – one he couldn’t have stopped if she had – she rested her forehead against his chest, finally releasing the leather from her hold.

“Nah.” His voice was sandpaper and the salt before the shot, he’d left his hands on her shoulders, could feel the shiver through her bones when he talked. It sent another throb through his cock, and he hoped she stayed where she was until he could get a handle on himself, any closer and he _literally_ did not know what could happen. “Tha’s all you girl.” His voice dropped to an impossibly low register as he muttered – “ _Goddamn_.” And his hands flexed a little as the remembered sensations rolled through, too fresh for the power they had on him.

She let out a surprised laugh, his eyes refocused to watch her shake her head. “Never had _anybody_ kiss me like that Daryl.”

Her eyes met his and he finally felt the almost relieving feeling of anxiety hover up his spine. But it wasn’t her or the kiss, the contact, it was the unfamiliar want – closer to a need – of not stopping the next time their mouths met. Her words were like water on a grease fire, spread the flames all over him, he couldn’t breathe for wanting another go at those lips of hers, that tongue that slid so needy against his.

Fuck, if he didn’t feel, it wasn’t powerful, not really, more like he’d never had anything other than his abilities in the wilds that was worth offering anybody. Had never wanted to excel in this area, have anyone want him because of it, but now, Beth wanted it, wanted him, wanted him licking into her mouth and holding her to him. And it fucked with a certain submissive side of him. The one that was wrapped in several layers of _fuck you_ and alpha male bullshit, and it wanted with an urge bordering desperation to give her this thing he didn’t know he was capable of.

She drifted up to him and touched her lips to his in a much sweeter way than they’d kissed either time before, and his arms slipped from her shoulders so that his hands could move into the damp recesses of her hair, entranced by the new silky aspect of it. His lips mirrored her movements, parting just slightly as they went, tongues gliding unhurriedly, until she carefully drew her mouth away.

That’s what it was, he finally knew what she reminded him of, he’d _had_ that taste, and finally the question of her nickname was put to rest.

_Gonna keep it…_

His fingers slid down to her neck, and he couldn’t stop his quirking smile, even as the panic tickled up the scars on his back, and his hard-on rubbed incessantly against his zipper. Because he was standing in some million dollar mansion at the end of the world, kissing the prettiest girl he’d ever known, and she was looking up at him with the bluest eyes, swooping scars framing those damn gorgeous blues, cheeks pink, lips a little parted.

All of this, and he felt fear, felt uncertainty, unworthiness, but more than all of that bullshit, was the knowledge that not only was he going to get to kiss her again, but she _wanted_ him to. Hell, girl said _no one_ else ever had done it like he did, so yeah sure he was scared, but no fuckin’ _way_ was that going to stop him from doing it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waits nervously for feedback*


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot? Why though? Kissing? Yeah sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. Howdy you first class individuals! Big thanks to all! Thought I'd take this time, to warn you all, that there is going to be (in my eyes) very little essential plot over the next few chapters, b/c I apparently lost my mind, and enjoy writing them actually getting to be a couple without all the will they won't they. My apologies if after a bit it seems overkill, tune in after a few updates and we'll get back to plot drama.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading and vicarious living!

**Chapter 16**

She was an idiot.

Or at least she couldn’t quit smiling like one. Working her way through the kitchen here at the house they’d all camped in last night, Beth barely took stock of the meager yet adequate collection of stores. Her cheeks continually bunched, nearly sore from the happy tension there. 

He’d  _ kissed _ her.

She’d matched each one of his steps as he’d come towards her, thinking vaguely at the time that he’d had something he’d wanted to say, with the way his eyes tracked her, jaw a little loose as if his lips were about to part so he could speak. But then he hadn’t stopped moving, not until his lips pressed to hers and she’d wondered if she hadn’t fainted in the shower.

Even now the memory of it made her breath shudder and hitch delightfully in her chest, catching and clawing until her stomach and vaginal walls clenched, until the air peaked along the inside of her skull, releasing a high to echo the one that she’d felt with him touching her.

She found some jam in the pantry, her cheeks straining to smile just a bit larger. He had to be hungry by now, she knew she was starving, there was another container of jam where she’d found the first and she doubted anyone would begrudge them a sweet treat. 

Never in all her brief imaginings of the first kiss itself, had she thought it would have gone the way it had. Daryl was so, uneasy, when it came to touch – to affection. She’d been planning to wait maybe a few more days at least, gradually get them used to being around one another, close to one another, before trying again. Because the thing was, she was sure, certain, positive, that  _ she _ would need to make the move for it to happen.

She ran a quick tongue over dried lips, it had been only hours ago, but she was already wondering how quickly she could talk him into doing it again. Couldn’t push she knew but, gosh dang he was…Hell with that, the man was a  _ damn _ good kisser. She’d spent a portion of her time since the warehouse, preparing herself for any kind of awkward first touches there might be. 

Heck, it had been a bit of a while for  _ her _ , since Zach, and Daryl to the best of her knowledge hadn’t done anything like that since at least arriving at her daddy’s farm.

She could be wrong about that, but she felt it like a heartbeat to be the case.

But maybe she had helped a little, had kept it from being that way, fumbling or short-lived, she’d felt his freeze – felt him stop suddenly with only the barest pressure against her mouth. Thank God she’d been able to recover from her shock quickly, had reciprocated and upped the level, unable to help herself.

He couldn’t blame her for wanting more, not when he’d looked at her like he had, not when that thin hot line of flesh had touched hers. She really could  _ not _ have done anything else, than to run her tongue along that warmth, try to find out if he was liquid metal inside from how high his temperature was on the surface. And maybe that was the thing, that had made her try again when he’d remained still, the fact that she felt for the first time like she honestly couldn’t make another decision than the one she had.

Her mind had clicked off, all blown fuse, flicked switch, and wind caught flame, that had  _ never _ happened before. Not while kissing, or heavy petting, whatever you called running your hands over another’s body without actually moving below layers of clothes – at least below the belt. It had been…such a mind locking bit of peace and chaos.

She’d sensed more than heard the vibration of her throat, felt how more focused and willing he’d become after that. Hands pressing her into him and…her cheeks began to tingle at the memory of him against her belly, of how it hadn’t made her stop, even  _ think _ of stopping, and she was  _ so _ glad her mind had quit working on some inhibition having level. Because if she had been thinking like she normally was during those kinds of situations, she would have tensed, and  _ that _ she was sure, would have ruined everything.

Daryl had no doubt been having his own level of out of body, mind blanking episode, because considering the way he’d blushed at her as he’d gone out the door to sit on the porch a little while ago – he never, not  _ ever _ , would have jerked into her the way he had. And if her logic and need to lay her own kind of ground rules like she’d done with the others, had kicked in, well no doubt Daryl would have been given the chance to crawl back up inside his head. Let her interruption serve to punish himself for what he’d done, when that was the very  _ very _ last thing she wanted him to do.

She was grabbing a spoon when she heard the front door open, heard Carol’s voice and Daryl’s lower grunting answer, she waited patiently, not wanting to interrupt, only making her way to the front door when she heard him holler that Carol looked ridiculous. Lord only knew what  _ that _ was about, but Beth wasn’t going to question the other woman’s choices here, she’d noticed the chipper tone and innocent shrugs, so totally alien to the way Carol usually was these days.

They were each just doing what they needed to keep them all safe, one way or another, all of them were coming at it from a slightly different angle, which is what made them strong in the first place. 

They were adaptable.

Opening the door, she hesitated only one shy breath when his eyes met hers, cursing her prickling cheeks, she closed the door behind her and moved until she could rest her back against the house. She didn’t want the extra space of the porch between them, but figured it was a safe bet to go with for now. He was eyeing her as he worked on his bow, perched on the sturdy wood railing as his long arms and arched wrists tinkered with the weapon’s mechanics inside. 

There was something entrancing with the way his forearms flowed into those wrists, the large hands curving in, she ran a quick moistening pass over her lips, tongue stalling halfway back into her mouth when she met his eyes again. Clearing her throat a little she snapped her jaws shut to smile uncertainly at him. 

Happy when she received a shy little head bob in response.

“Thought you might be gettin’ hungry.” She supplied by way of her excuse to come and see him, raised the little jar of preserves as proof, smiling again when he nodded. “So Carol’s off to do her new job?”

He snorted and jerked his head in affirmation, she opened the jar while he swung his legs down, set his bow along the railing so he could accept the offering with the metal spoon dipped in and ready. He took a heaping bite, cheeks hollowing as he moved it around his mouth, and handed the jar back to her. She did the same, feeling like the strength of her heartbeat must be enough to vibrate her skin, make the wobbling bits inside the container she held shake with the force of it.

She was passing back their brunch, when she noticed the flexed pull of one side of his face, he squinted at her, his mouth could be considered one of his smiles if one half of it wasn’t pulling so severely in the opposite direction.

“They give you one?” His voice growled out to her, spoon wielding hand motioning vaguely towards Deanna’s house. “’A job?”

She nodded a little, lips pulling to mirror his own, a not fully committed grimace.

“Told her about helpin’ out on daddy’s farm, she’s wantin’ me to look into makin’ a garden so we don’t have to send people on runs s’often.”

“Why not get Maggie doin’ that?” He muttered grumpily, fingers brushing hers when he handed the last of the jam back.

“Deanna wants Maggie ta’…I don’t know, be her second in command or somethin’ wants her leading, and I needed somethin’. Everyone’s got a job to do, you remember my dad sayin’ that?”

He bobbed his head at the mention of Hershel, but looked more irritated for some reason that had her raising her brows in question.

“You’d ’ve been a better pick to be  _ leadin’ _ people.” He scoffed after a minute, bringing his hands up to begin picking the darkened spots off his skin. She shook her head in disagreement as she swallowed her last bite and watched him.

“Maggie’s-”

“Not as good with people, ain’t half as good readin’ ‘em either.” He cut her off, shoulders jerking in agitation.

“But she’s stronger, doesn’t have a problem standin’ up for what she wants too.” Her heartrate had changed from pounding too hard, to whiffling around its cage like it’d slip out between her ribs. His next look at her was incredulous as his fidgeting paused.

“So yer only able to be a  _ strong _ pain in the ass when it comes t’me, that it?”

Lungs compressing passed the point of her next breath out, Beth tried not to gasp in a startled catch of air at his words, watching as he quickly became uncomfortable with her silence.

“Guess so.” She murmured finally, noticing the small twitch of his lips even as his head was angled down making the thin line hard to see. “Think she’ll be able to come up with somethin’ for you?” 

“Hope not.” He grumbled with a shrug, and she was quickly realizing he no longer wanted to talk about their place in this community, was already hitting his maximum level of unease with still being in here.

“Well maybe I can tell Maggie to tell her ya should be out huntin’, at least ‘til she thinks of somethin’ else she needs you to do.”

Silence settled heavily and Beth decided to pull her eyes from his restless movements, she wanted very much to just close the distance and kiss him, wanted him to press her against the wall she was resting against or the railing at his back…

“You gotta start doin’ any of that shit t’day?” His question surprised her, eyes meeting his when she looked back to see his fidgeting stopped and his hands gripping the wood he leaned on. 

“No, they gotta get the supplies for it first…” She trailed off a bit as he nodded quickly, seeming far more relieved than she’d expect him to from the small amount of information. 

And she couldn’t help but wonder if some of his irritation was from worry that she’d be taken from where he could easily keep an eye on her. That maybe he was worried about sticking too closely to her, or trailing along to wherever she worked at, letting these strangers know she was important to him. Or maybe just taking up too much of his attention while he was trying to keep guard over  _ all _ of their family.

“C’mon.” She said suddenly, motioning with her head back towards the door, stalling when he furrowed his brow in question. “Either you’re gonna feel caged by bein’ in the house, or be out here but have ‘em watchin’ every move.” 

He still looked uneasy about following her inside and she was sure she didn’t even fully understand where all of that was coming from, she had an idea of the way he grew up from what he’d said and what she’d seen, and maybe that was part of it, he probably liked his chances of handling any threat if he were able to get eyes on it and the house limited his view.

It could be a million things she couldn’t even name at the moment, but if she slipped and suddenly gripped into his vest, pressed her lips to his, she didn’t want it to be out where the Alexandrians could see. Not if he wasn’t wanting them to, telling their family was one thing, but giving potential threats that kind of information wasn’t a good idea.

Just because she had a fairly good feeling about this place and its people, didn’t mean it wasn’t without its potential dangers. In any event he did follow her, bow in hand, shutting the door soundlessly behind him. They went into the kitchen so she could wash out the now empty jar and she felt instantly more at ease, grinning a little when he lifted himself up to be sitting on a section of the kitchen’s island counter. 

She could feel his eyes on her, and she did her best not to fumble the glass into the sink, took her time while getting her breathing under control. Shutting off the water and turning to him once the task was complete, she held his gaze as she made steady steps until she was just a tad in between his parted knees. Each muscle in his arms stood out and she knew he was tensed like the draw of his bow, and was very careful not to actually touch him as her head tipped back to catch his gaze.

They remained like that in silence for a time that stretched and stilled until she wasn’t sure of its actual passing. And then she saw his chin dip just a fraction down in her direction and she gave him what she prayed was an encouraging smile.

“You gonna kiss me again Daryl Dixon?” Her voice, not quite a whisper, was sure to reach him, and she watched the work of his jaw as his eyes flicked down to her mouth and back.

“Hell girl.” He grated just as quietly. “Did three times already.”

She took a sidling step closer, tipping her head a little as a grin tickled the corners of her mouth.

“Ya didn’t inform me I was gonna have a daily  _ limit _ Daryl.” She couldn’t get enough of looking at him, especially when he swallowed like he did, lips pressing together until they nearly disappeared from sight. “Doesn’t seem fair to enforce it, before I even get the terms.”

“Aint’cha had enough?” He muttered lowly, and she swore at that moment – she would throat punch the first person that walked into the kitchen. As it was, she barely managed to shake her head a little in response, her own eyes ticking between his mouth and gaze.

His arms were braced on the counter he was sitting on, hands gripping the curve at the edge of the tile, and she was now touching that edge with her thinly covered stomach, feeling the warmth of his thighs on either side of her as she moved farther into him.

“Shouldn’ do it out here.” She could barely hear him, even as she went up on her tiptoes, trying to alleviate the difference in their heights. She agreed with him in a kind of detached, couldn’t rightly care, kind of way, everyone was out either doing jobs or touring the settlement.

Far as she could tell they were wasting time.

“Wanna go back upstairs?” He gave a surprised huff of air that twirled around her spine and hips, pulsed sweetly there while he shook his head minutely. “Then why’re you stallin’?” Her hands had made their way up to the open sides of his vest and she used her hold to improve her leverage, pulling herself up and him slightly down.

He hummed and then his mouth was covering hers, and it was everything she could do not to wrap her arms around his neck to improve her ability to lessen the space between them, minimal as it was. He didn’t make a move to deepen it, so she let the kiss be the most chaste one they’d shared, just enjoying the warmth and willingness of him. She dropped away from his lips after a few moments, but refused to release her hold on his vest.  

“Yer gettin’ a limit.” He said thickly, and she managed an unconvincing glare as she surged back up to him.

“Th’hell I am.” 

He met her easily, and this time she wasn’t content with just lips pressing together, and barely stopped from smiling when it only took the slight opening of her mouth for him to slide his tongue into meeting hers. It started out slow, the rolling of tongues, the sugar of their brunch flavoring each exploratory movement. But she couldn’t bring herself to lower away from him this time, her grip becoming more insistent as her jaw opened to a startling degree to feel as much of him as she could.

And then she was stumbling as he slid off his perch, a hand on her shoulder to keep her from toppling back, using that leverage to yank her to him once again, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like – “ _ Damnit _ .” – as he did.

She had a brief flash of them switching places, of him levering her into his previously occupied chunk of counter top but Lord only knew where that would lead, and she had an idea they were spiraling at a decent enough speed as it was.

Her hands passed heavily over stubbled cheeks before plunging into the smooth confines of his hair, murmuring into his mouth when she felt his palms press high along her sides, fingertips digging lightly into her shoulder blades. She loved the scratch of him against her, facial hair rubbing along her chin as she closed her lips around his tongue, dragging them along the length before opening up and plunging back into the warmth of him.

She didn’t have enough experience to know if this was considered sloppy kissing or not, didn’t care one way or another, just knew that the others she’d experienced hadn’t felt like this, and  _ this _ is what she wanted more of. He was keeping a careful grip on her upper body even as she pressed her hips into his, trapping him between them and the counter at his back. 

She did her best not roll into him, to wiggle, or thrust, didn’t want to give any serious cause for him to enforce that rule he’d joked about. But their mouths were becoming more and more demanding against one another, her breath leaving in a gust from her nose as she felt his do the same.

His hair was well and truly mussed from her steady clench and release that mirrored the pulse going on between her thighs. And even as she tried not to press against him, there was a heated weight rubbing into her stomach with every shift of their mouths and she couldn’t stop the noises that climbed along her vocal cords.

She wanted everything, every inch of him, top to toe – she wanted all of him.

The front door opened and she sprung back even as he released his hold on her and whipped his head towards the entrance of the house. She could tell they were both working to quiet their harsh breathing, listening with everything in them to the sounds filtering through the hallways.

“I don’t blame Maggie for being on edge Abraham.” Rosita’s voice was tinged with irritation as she continued. “It doesn’t matter if Glenn can handle himself or not, you know how quickly shit can turn bad.”

“Man’s been balls deep in this C list slasher apocalypse from the start.” The reply sounded an odd mix of reassuring, patronizing, humored, and concerned, Beth found herself perplexed by Abe not for the first time. “Knows exactly when to pull out, it’s a quick run, and he isn’t on his own out there. Got Tara and Noah with him so he won’t have to worry about it bein’ just him and that limp dicked Alexandrian bunch.”

Beth’s lips were curling into her mouth as she listened to the conversation that had paused itself in the living room camp they had set up, she was steadily licking along the swollen flesh – distractedly collecting every trace of the taste of him that she could as she took in what the other two were discussing. 

All the information wasn’t new to her, and she was somewhere in between agreeing with both of them when she looked up to see Daryl watching her intently, eyes still a breath hitching darkness that made her release her hold on the lips that parted as she returned his gaze.

He jerked his head back towards the staircase leading to the upper floor and she nodded quickly, heart giving a jerk when he gathered his bow strap in one hand and her nearly shaking fingers in the other. He led her soundlessly up the switchback steps as the conversation continued from the next room, and she barely dared to breathe as he tugged her along to the bedroom they’d just been in that morning.

He let her pass him by as he shut the door, again without a sound, and paused – his head tilted almost touching the wooden barrier as he listened intently, obviously trying to gauge if they’d been noticed. Seemingly decided that they hadn’t, he turned and trailed a look over her, before carefully walking around her and placing his bow against the far wall. 

She smiled slightly when he turned back to her, could tell he was already back to feeling awkward, hadn’t wanted to come up here to begin with, and suddenly she felt the bed a couple inches to the side of her like a walker in the room and she understood. 

He was worried just how fast they’d start moving given the proper setting, and she couldn’t say she blamed him. If the kissing had been the gradual process she’d thought it was going to be, she would have had an easier time shrugging off any concern he might throw at her. But with that at least, they’d clicked, and it definitely set up the need and curiosity to see just how far that stretched to.

And that couldn’t happen, they hadn’t talked, not about Grady at least – and for right now she didn’t much care to alleviate that situation. For once, the hospital was the farthest thing from her mind.

His eyes slipped to the side of her, she watched as he brought a hand up, rubbing a half clean index finger against the hair below his bottom lip, probably wishing he were outside smoking, and she walked to him – keeping her gaze from his as she wrapped her arms loosely around his waist.

“You good?” He growled quietly, and she felt heavy arms rest on her shoulders as he wrapped them with equal looseness around her head that she had pillowed on his chest.

“Keep kissin’ me like that?” She puffed out a laugh, thumping her head into him lightly, an accompanying squeeze to his sides. “An’ I’ll be great.”

He gave a murmuring hum that vibrated against her and she nuzzled more into him. “Didn’ sound like I had much of a choice, won’ let me make a limit or nothin’.”

“Did you really want to?” She whispered into him, stroking an idle hand against his back. “We can, I guess, or somethin’ like it.”

_ Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.  _

She didn’t want to push him, wouldn’t want to  _ be _ pushed, but dang it – she  _ more _ than liked kissing the man already and he seemed to –

“Nah, don’ gotta.” She closed her eyes at the sound of that low rumbling thunder he called a voice. “Jus’…” And she felt the catch and press of scruff as he rested his mouth partly against her forehead. “Ain’t gonna go any farther than this for a little bit, alrigh’?”

She sighed out a breath of relief, nodding quickly into the slight give of his chest.

“Yeah?” And she could hear the uncertainty there, the fear that laced its way through the question, and she was so…proud of him…for telling her what he wanted without clamming up or snapping. 

She’d known this would be hard for him, and she’d already gotten more than she’d hoped for right now. There was still a tenseness in the body she’d wrapped her arms around but it wasn’t unyielding. 

“’Course.” She replied, tilting her face enough to kiss his neck slowly, before tucking her head against his lips once more. “Nothin’ wrong with that, ain’t gonna hear any arguments on my end.”

He gave a derisive snort, fluttering her hair quickly. “Be a damn first.”

She went to pinch his sides, but he quickly released his hold and snatched her wrists, his vest taking most of her halfhearted assault. She was smiling, and his mouth was pulling up pretty high on one side, maybe one of the biggest smiles she’d seen from him.

“You better watch yourself Mr. Dixon this goes both ways ya know.” She warned him, jerking her chin at him since he held her arms tight. “I could cut’cha off, then where’d you be?”

“Hmm.” He considered, eyes narrowed as he tilted his head back a little to look at her, hair cutting across his eyes and cheeks. “Prob’ly nowhere worth bein’.” 

His face flushed as soon as she stilled, she tried hard not to go all round eyed wonder at him but it was hard. She’d always had a high level of respect for Daryl, even when he was driving her nuts. And maybe it shouldn’t have, she was sure they’d have gotten to this point at some point, but she couldn’t help but be a little floored by the way he kissed her, by the shockwave that blew across her body when their tongues met, and his capable hands held her to him.

_ Had _ to respect a man that could kiss like that.

“M’real happy you decided to kiss me Daryl.” She let a little smile play along her lips, trying to break some of the weight that had settled over them, stretching it a little at the noise he made.

“Pfft, quit it.” He released his hold, shaking his head, trying to rock a step back but she caught at his vest and he froze long enough for her to get a hold of his mouth with hers.

She really needed to get a hold of herself, she knew this, even as she slid her arms back around his waist and felt him pause until she made a little sound of impatience and he was immediately opening his mouth to hers. And then his hands were framing her neck, thumbs moving in small arcs along her cheeks.

Beth knew she couldn’t keep claiming his mouth like this, couldn’t keep forcing him, because one of these times he was going to rear back like he had the first time she’d tried in the woods that day, and she didn’t want to be moving backwards with him. But a part of her also felt like he needed this, to know that she wanted him, needed him. 

For goodness sakes, couldn’t get enough of him.

She couldn’t say for sure, didn’t know exactly where his head was at, could barely track her own, but she didn’t want him to start doubting her craving of him once he went out of her embrace. Wanted to reinforce  _ really well _ her thoughts – her staggering approval – of his abilities in this area. And considering how he let her, not just let, but after making sure it’s what she wanted, enthusiastically (as he was now) participated, she doubted this feeling was a wrong one.

Her hands slid up his chest, his trailed down her arms, and she weaved her fingers into his hair, sighing contentedly into his mouth as he pulled her closer. He didn’t want to go too fast? She could respect that, because kissing Daryl Dixon was a whole other level of friggin’ amazing that she wasn’t looking to foul up. 

She caught his tongue with her teeth, filing away his deep grunting hum as something he approved of, her breath catching when his mouth was suddenly off hers to land on the juncture of her neck. She thought she was plenty warm, what with all the kissing and pounding blood pressure, but his mouth on her skin made her second guess his mortality. How could anyone’s tongue be that hot? His teeth scraped along her flesh and she had to rest her head against his even if it interfered with his nipping movements.

She was making little kicking whimpers, air catching too hard with each exhale, and she could feel a pooling between her thighs that had her clenching them desperately. His hands felt like they were spanning the entirety of her back and she couldn’t escape the overall presence of him. She was breathing him, inhaling him in every pull of her lungs. She was sweating with his heat and her need that was ratcheting up with the way he was dragging open mouthed kisses along her neck and shoulder, nosing her tank strap out of his way.

“This don’t count as farther?” She attempted to clarify, her hands untangling from his hair to dig into the muscles at the base of his neck, her arms set wide to brace along the broadness of his shoulders.

“Still jus’ kissin’.” He ground out against her throat and she felt her fingers spasm into his skin, making him hum again.

_ Just kissing? _

Funny, since she wasn’t entirely sure, but she could feel her body climbing towards something, the pulse in her clit stronger than her heartbeat, and when he bit down harder she couldn’t stop her hips thrusting forward and the noise that tore from her chest. Thank God their position meant she hadn’t bucked into him, or she had, but their height difference meant she didn’t connect her hips with anything. 

He must have felt the motion regardless, the jittering movement hard to misconstrue as anything else while they were plastered together like this, but it only had him moving his mouth to her ear, making her shudder when he panted into it a little, mouth and whiskers nuzzling the cartilage, nose riding the top of the shell. 

“Ya’lrigh?” He breathed and she moaned lowly at the rolling tear of his voice so close, sounding like  _ he _ needed to be asked the same question, even as she nodded and he pressed a kiss to the ridges before returning to the hollow under her jaw, forcing her head away from resting against his. 

She seemed unable to do much anything but hold on, her eyes closing, fingers rigid but managing small insistent circling actions into the muscles they clung to. His head dipped and he began returning to already assaulted ground, her tender flesh sending shocks of feeling, not mere sensations, through her rapid firing nervous center.

She may have lied, fibbed, she wasn’t  _ entirely _ sure if she was alright after all. She was worked up pretty good, there was an ever building need for friction that would no doubt count to him as this ‘farther’ he’d mentioned, and if he kept at her throat like he was, she had no qualms in admitting that she was one more good lick away from crossing some kind of line that’d get her in trouble.

She was going to have to tap out, he’d pinned her, won, there was no way she could think of this as ‘just kissing’ she was about ready to climb him. Desperately she dug back into his hair, pulling enough for him to detach from her neck, covering his lips with hers, tasting her own salty flesh when she dove her tongue into his mouth.

He made a deeper growling noise, large hands dropped like a shot to her ass, clenched tight and hauled her against him, and just like that she was getting her friction as he rubbed his hard-on against her clit. She gasped at the meeting of her need, was able to work her hips into him once before stilling. 

He stopped when she did, and Beth cursed internally, her mind hadn’t flicked on, so much as her conscious had made one small valiant effort to remind her that he didn’t want to go too fast. And considering this was the first day they’d ever  _ kissed _ , she figured riding him, even through all of their clothes, that that would count as much  _ much _ too fast.

She pulled her mouth from his with deliberate slowness, nipped at his bottom lip as she did, feeling the way he relaxed a little. They were still frozen against one another, his fingers flexed into the muscles of her ass, her hips were still pivoted up and pressed flush with his, and she could still very much feel the hardness of his dick as it dug into her right where she wanted it to.

“Think we left  _ just kissin’ _ somewhere back a ways.” She murmured once she could get a clear look of his face, and he huffed a little in agreement, skin blazing red – ears near glowing with it. He did his best to release her quickly so they didn’t grind against one another anymore than they already had, and steadied her when she wobbled.

“Might  _ need _ t’cut me off.” He said a little darkly once she was standing alright enough on her own. 

She shook her head resolutely, popping up to kiss him once, hard, before pulling away, still able to feel where his hands had released their hold.

“Not a chance, Dixon, we’ll just get better at stoppin’.” She did her best to ignore his disbelieving scowl. Deciding now would  _ not _ be the best time to ask him if he was alright, she decided instead to give him the go ahead of what he was probably wanting right now. “Now scat, I got some a’ the world’s crustiest laundry to get goin’ an’ I’m nearly excited to use a washer again.”

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, his eyes taking in her carefully crossed arms, the ones she was trying to keep to herself. Daryl looked at her for a couple more half lidded blinks, before turning to scoop up his bow and swing it over his head.

“L’go check t’see if there’s any word on Glenn an’ the others.” She smiled brightly at him with an approving nod. That was good, him being able to get back outside with something set to do was good. Daryl without a direction led to him stewing, and she would really like to avoid that.

He took a step to go by her, pausing uncertainly, she was about to ask him what was wrong when he stooped quickly to brush her cheek with his lips, straightening and fleeing the room before she could even react. 

_ Jesus, Mary, and Joseph… _

The thought rolled slowly through her mind as she kept her arms wrapped protectively around herself. That man… _ that man _ …how in the heck had she gotten lucky enough to be someone Daryl Dixon cared enough for to try like he did for her? 

She had to stop swooning over the thought of him, she thought stubbornly, turning to make her way out of the room. But as she went methodically through her tasks, it was basically the only thing she could manage to do. His friggin’ arms wrapped around her, covering almost every inch of her back, his mouth…those eyes. She sucked in a hard breath. The feeling of him pressed hard to her center, feeling like he could sling her to any height he needed her at for the best leverage while he…

“Well, someone’s looking rather pleased with herself.” Beth jumped, maybe not a foot, but a good inch or two as she spun to see Rosita propped against the doorjamb.

“ _ Lord in heaven _ .” She gasped, heart flying, her hand doing its best to keep it in place – pushing hard into her sternum. “If you were a walker you’d ‘ve bit me!”

The other woman smiled slyly at her, arms comfortably crossed as she watched Beth catch her breath. “So, I saw Dixon hauling ass out of here a little bit ago.” Beth turned hurriedly to turn on the machine she’d just finished loading with the least crud covered articles of everyone’s clothing. “Thought maybe the two of you had gotten into it or something since I knew you were still kicking around here somewhere.” Beth took steady breaths as she turned to face the still grinning dark eyes teaser. “But now seeing  _ you _ I’m thinking something not so angst driven may have happened.” 

“Daryl’s just goin’ to check on when the run group’s supposed to be back.” She answered easily, innocuous smile drifting across her mouth.

“Yeah? He tell you that before  _ or after _ y’all got done suckin’ face?”

She tried, she really did, to keep a blank expression and not let the steady heat gripping her cheeks rat her out, but Rosita’s eyebrows were raising and a knowing smile was creeping across the full mouth. Beth couldn’t stop the eye roll or the exasperated grin that appeared from nowhere, and tried not to blush harder at the appreciative nod she received.

“Good for you girl, guy’s one grumpy fucker, but he’s a good man.” Rosita pushed her shoulder off the jamb, taking a pivoting step backwards. “Can’t wait ‘til you tell your sister.”

Beth groaned loudly as she was left alone in the laundry room.

Great. Just. Great.

Maggie was  _ never _ gonna shut up about them now.

She stopped her separating of the next load and felt the smile split her face again, the phantom warmth of him pressing into her, his grip like an engrained memory making the color spring back onto her face, and she ran a speculative tongue over her lips. 

Worth it. 

So very  _ very _ worth it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so yeah, there's some bad decisions, i.e still not talking about stuff and things but I guess we'll have to see what the ramifications are for that (if any) down the road. I wanna thank everyone again, hope you all liked it.
> 
> Feedback, all is welcome and appreciated.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl is trying to get comfortable with Alexandria, there is talking, and a little just kissin'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - All of you are amazing and I hope y'all had a great weekend, the couple stuff is continuing and will do so for the foreseeable future, I don't know dudes, I include a bit of show plot to keep everything oriented but honestly does anyone else just find the Alexandria stuff obnoxious?
> 
> Anyway, the timeline between this and the show might get tweaked, b/c everything that happens on the show is like only a day apart which is insane. So we might stretch the day between end of S5 and beginning of S6 by like a week so we can focus on Bethyl feels. Let me know your thoughts :)

**Chapter 17**

He’d had a shitty day, funny (in a fuckin’ obnoxious way) considering the day before that had maybe (closer to goddamn definitely) been the best of his life. With his luck the way it was, Daryl knew he shouldn’t have been surprised that the universe was trying to even itself out.

He’d kissed Beth Greene –  _ a lot _ . And now things were trying to match up the shitty with the good that had happened to him, or some ying yang ball buster thing like that. 

Yesterday he had left the house in time to see that punk take a swing at Glenn, and then had all but gotten  _ told _ to behave himself by Rick who was now a goddamn cop again – if that wasn’t some bullshit. And  _ then _ really the best thing to top it off, had been when they’d got told to pick rooms, settle in. They’d all gone around choosing which ones they wanted, but he’d been sure to tell Rick and Michonne that the one with the bathroom in it was already Beth’s.

He’d gotten some raised eyebrows.

He did not. Give. A. Fuck.

A lot of them besides her were pissing him off anyway, so they could wiggle their brows all they fuckin’ wanted at him. She liked that one, didn’t feel comfortable using the other bathrooms, the house was so ridiculously sized it had  _ two _ other ones besides the one that was in her room. They could deal with it, they’d gone from shitting in the woods to having running water, who cared that one of the youngest got the biggest room?

And which one of them  _ really _ wanted to argue with him about it?

Because with the mood he’d been in after all that, he’d kind of  _ wished _ they would have.

But they hadn’t said anything, Michonne not caring, and Rick he could tell was worried about them having bad blood over the fight and the cop thing. Whatever, they all wanted to play house and live in the suburbs, he just wanted to keep them safe, specifically the blonde with the big blue eyes who couldn’t seem to keep her lips off his.

He’d avoided her gaze when Rick informed her of her new living quarters, and had been surprised when she hadn’t come to find him that night while he stayed out on the porch. Because while he was more than happy to get her the best room in the place, he sure as shit wasn’t – one, sleeping in the house, or – two, sleeping in the same room  _ let alone _ the same bed as Beth Greene.

Of course they’d slept close to one another before, while out on the road, but things were a whole hell of a lot different now. For instance. The girl knew what it felt like to have his suddenly overeager cock rubbed against the juncture of her thighs, and he hadn’t planned on that happening – well honestly ever – let alone the day they’d only first kissed. Sure, he’d thought about all sorts of brazen, amazing, things to do with that small tight body of hers, but it was one thing having it in his head, a completely different thing to have it pressing willingly into him.

But she hadn’t come to find him, which was good, he’d been wired almost the entire night, dreading what she’d say, what she might want him to do. He still wasn’t exactly sure what was going on with his body, he didn’t like being touched, or at least hadn’t used to. Maybe it was the backrubs, maybe it was just her, fuck – girl could probably do just about anything to him and he’d take it, dick hard and ready.

The next day, today, had been frustrating and relieving in almost equal parts, Carol wanted him to try, which he already fucking  _ was _ it was just with Beth and not with this creepy Stepford knockoff town. They were planning things, Carol and Rick were, that he knew to be smart but made him uneasy. A lot of lying and shit that he didn’t feel comfortable with, then again most the people here were still looking at him like he was a circus animal, so fuck them. 

He’d gotten to know that Aaron guy a little more though, out hunting, lost the damn horse which he’d already told the other man to keep his mouth shut about. He’d hoped they could bring it back for Beth and the kids, hell he didn’t have much trade with horses, but it’d be nice to have one around. 

And now here he stood, outside Deanna’s house, dressed nicer than he had been in years, shirt chaffing his sun soaked arms and feeling like an idiot. Because there was Beth Greene, talking on the porch with a couple of yuppy assholes, including the one that had swung on her brother-in-law the day before, and he was out down the street a ways, just far enough for the lights not to hit him, watching her like a creep.

The guys she was talking to, looked like they were having the time of their lives, yapping at the pretty blonde girl with the sweeping scars that only served to make her look more wild than tame, more beautiful than ordinary. She was talking easily with them, arms crossed but loose, body posture relaxed even as her back was towards the street, he could read it clear enough.

Guys looked like they’d stepped out of a damn magazine from before the end happened, and here he was looking like someone had had the inclination to dress up a scraggly ass one eared coyote. It wasn’t that he thought Beth liked them more than him, or that she was eyeing them the same way they were clearly eyeing her. But he felt…embarrassed. 

Out of place.

He’d had a crappy night on that porch missing her, had watched that poor fuckin’ horse get eaten, and he didn’t feel like shuffling and glaring at a group of people who looked at him like the church folk in his home town had as they’d driven passed him on their way home from service. Like he was part beast, dangerous and interesting, tolerable as long as they could flick the locks on their doors.

Turning, he began making his way back to the house that half of them were staying at, wanting more than anything to get out of these clothes that felt too similar to ‘Sunday best’ and get a little peace before everyone came tottering home. 

He wanted to be angry, or at least irritated, because of all that, when Aaron came out on his porch to invite him to dinner, but he couldn’t quite manage it. After all, his family was mostly all together, the town had accepted them it seemed – and it felt nice – having at least a couple of the new people not be afraid of him. After dinner, and the bike, and the offer, he had to say he felt pretty confident he’d made the right choice.

He’d had a crappy day, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the other ones to date.

Nearing the house he slowed his gate, a figure sat on their front steps, blonde hair lit by moonlight, pale skin glowing in the relative darkness. She had her chin resting on one hand, head tilted back to watch the star bright sky, and she was without a doubt the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. 

The town had given them all new clothes, and Beth had found a light toned plaid shirt in creams and light reds that managed to almost match the frayed bit of his old shirt that still twined itself around one finely muscled arm. She had new jeans too, ones that hugged every toned line from hips to almost heels, bits of sparkle and unnecessary embroidery on the back pockets that drew the eye, and her curves kept them there.

The heavy pile of spaghetti rolled a little in his stomach, as he reached out and rubbed at the spot by his cuff he’d used as a napkin before remembering he had an  _ actual _ napkin next to him on the table. He cleared his throat in nervousness, berating himself when it caught her attention and the silken head whipped in his direction, stilling immediately.

“Hey.” He should have worked harder to unblock the passage, his voice crackled over the cords, managing to make him sound rough with only a single word.

“Daryl?” She stood quickly, and he felt a small amount of annoyance.

“Who else?” He groused, stopping once he’d reached the bottom of the stairs so she’d have an easier time seeing him in the small amount of light the lamps and other bulbs cast from inside the house, and he wondered briefly why she hadn’t bothered to turn the porch one on.

“Sorry you just look…” Her eyes swept his clean clothes and hair, he’d gone another round in the shower, done a more thorough job this time. Doggedly  _ not _ thought about her while he was in there.

“ _ Proper _ ?” Jesus fuckin’ Christ, he sounded like an asshole, he needed to change back into his regular clothes. Didn’t like the idea of her comparing the way he looked tonight with those dudes from the party. Couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, which pissed him off too, he’d been getting better with that – didn’t like the feeling of backpedaling.

She scoffed and his gaze did snap to hers, eyes set pretty steadily in a glare. 

“Daryl, you could be in a full tux and still look all levels of  _ improper _ .” She took a step down and then another, and he realized in a kind of shock that she was  _ flirting _ with him. 

He’d usually have a pretty hard time telling, but she was dragging her eyes up him like he wasn’t wearing anything at all, and her face was saying she liked what she saw. He had to remind himself she hadn’t grown any special abilities and that he was still covered decent. Back of his neck heating as she came to a stop right in front of him, the stairs evening out their heights, Daryl was greeted with the smells of too many bodies, soap, and Beth. 

She made a move to put her hands on him, his face, or shoulders maybe, but he shifted away from the touch. He was being a dumb fucker. That much he knew, but he didn’t want her liking him like this, wanting him like this. Because it rankled at him, and her getting used to him looking like this made him panic.

He wasn’t this guy.

“Missed ya tonight at the party.” She was trying hard to ignore him shying away from her, which only made him feel worse. She hadn’t done anything wrong, he just couldn’t find the words to say it right.

“Ate dinner with Aaron and Eric.” He shrugged in reply, keeping her eyes with his but barely, feeling the need to look away like an itch. “Got invited.” He added for some reason when she only looked at him in surprise.

“Daryl, that’s great!” He squinted up at her, damn she looked pretty tonight, and here she was beaming at him like he’d done something worth that smile. “Gosh, I wish I coulda’ came. Instead of gettin’ bragged at by the Monroe brothers for half the night.”

He felt a little guilty, the thought  _ had _ tripped through his head that she might like to come to dinner with him, it was the kind of normal she’d appreciate. Not to mention, she’d liked Aaron  _ before _ he had, same with Eric, and he was sure the two men would like her just fine because  _ everyone _ with a brain liked Beth. But the image of her chatting with those two idiots had flashed in his mind’s eye and he’d let the impulse to go and get her loose.

“They bother ya?” He was pretty sure he knew the answer, and hell, Beth could take both those preppy motherfuckers in a fight, but he wasn’t willing to admit he’d seen her with them and skulked off. 

She shook her head, bottom lip trapped by her teeth for a moment as she rocked from heel to toe, eyes still considering him before she spoke.

“Not really, just woulda’ preferred other company.” He bobbed his head in understanding, barely catching what she murmured next. “Didn’t you miss me at all?”

_ Fuck yes. _

How was she supposed to know how much she spiraled his thoughts all night, day, and night again? Wasn’t like he’d been able to tell her, didn’t know if he’d ever be able to in any kind of straightforward way, it’d have to be like it had been back on the stairs at the not-Georgian Georgia house. She’d have to be able to infer that shit, read between the lines, that kind of thing.

He shook his head in irritation, cursing internally when she wrapped her arms tightly around her midriff. “Just.” He shook his head again, flicking his gaze from hers, he held out his arms a little nodding to their black covering. “Ain’t me.”

And even though it wasn’t an answer to her question, or an apology for shaking his fool head, she watched him carefully before nodding like it was both of those things.

“Well c’mon then, let’s get you back to normal.” This time when she reached forward to snag his wrist he didn’t move away, let her lead him into the quiet house, pull him up the stairs, only stalling out when they’d reached her room. “What?” She questioned, arm stretched between them as he stood stock still.

“Can change in one a’ the other bathrooms.” He muttered, eyeing the room uncomfortably before looking back to her puzzled expression.

“Well…” She trailed off, head cocking to the side a little before she continued. “All your clean clothes are in here, and there’s a bathroom in here, an’ I promise not to peek at you, but there’s a workin’ lock so…” 

He felt his brows knit hard at this information. When in the hell had she gotten all his shit in here? And then he remembered like an idiot, of course, she’d said yesterday she was going to do laundry. 

“Why’d ya do that?” He was trying not to get snappy, but she hadn’t asked, and he knew she hadn’t because she was well aware of the fact that he never would have said yes.

She released her hold on his wrist to prop the hand on her jutting hip as she looked at him challengingly. “We’re together ain’t we?”

He’d had his hands clenched into her ass, their pelvises ground together, and his tongue knew the taste of every inch of flesh from her mouth to her shoulder blade. Yeah they were fuckin’ together. Even if he was the kind of prick that did that shit with whatever woman was handy (which was so far from the case it was laughable) after feeling her the way he had, no way in hell was he going to allow anyone else to do the same.

Not while she still wanted it to be him.

“Don’ see what that has t’do with my shit bein’ in here.” He grumbled darkly, trying to ignore how fuckin’ cute she looked when she dropped her cocked hip and smiled at him happily.

“You really plannin’ to sleep on that porch every night?” She looked at him inquisitively when he flinched back a little. What part of not movin’ too fast was she not clear on?

_ Probably the part where you came near to fuckin’ her standin’ up, same day as ya said that shit.  _

“Ain’t sleepin’ in the same bed as you.” He wasn’t panicked, this jittery feeling rifling through his veins wasn’t panic. 

Nope.

“You really think we’re not mature enough to sleep in the same bed without doin’ anything?” 

She at least had the decency to blush when he scoffed at her. Girl didn’t have no short term memory loss, she knew  _ exactly _ how far they’d gone without even  _ touching _ the damn bed.

“Well.” And he knew he was in trouble as soon as he heard her tone, but if he hadn’t, the set look in her winking blue eyes would have done it fine. “I think it’s worth a try. And we can set some of those rules you were mentionin’ yesterday.”

“Like what?” He asked suspiciously, his look flashing between her and the bed.

“No touchin’ once we’re on it, stay on our own side of the bed, ya know, that sorta thing.”

His eyes were slitted so far he could barely see, searching for any kind of game or con she might be trying to pull on him right now. Though he should have known better, not doing that kind of shit was exactly why he liked her. One of the many reasons why he did. 

He wanted to argue more, point out a few key errors in her logic, but the thing was – he really didn’t feel like sleeping on the porch again tonight and getting to spend more time with her didn’t strike him as any kind of  _ bad _ thing.

So much for not sleeping in the  _ house _ let alone the same  _ bed _ as her…

_ Jesus Christ.  _

And so with that he found himself nodding grudgingly, shaking it soon after when she started beaming at him. Girl was crazy, why she’d even want him in that bed with her was confusing, he tended to be dirtier than the average wild animal, for at least twice as long. 

She seemed pleased as all get out about him agreeing – so what the hell.

Stepping in, he closed the door quietly behind him, relieved to find his bow tucked safely in one of the corners once he made it farther inside. She’d turned and hurried to one of the dressers, pulling it open and, brought out a soft pair of old jeans – that he almost didn’t recognize but for the hole in one of the knees they were so clean – and one of his regular sleeveless shirts, this one the black that was heavily frayed where he’d ripped it uncaringly along the seams. 

“Now go change, so I can kiss ya before we get into bed, and then I’ll tell ya all about the party.”

He blinked at her a few times in surprise before nodding a little dumbly and going to do as he’d been told. Damn girl with her kissing. The hell she’d have to taste so good for? Move the way she did? A man couldn’t be expected to put up any kind of self-respecting fight when she said shit like that. 

Finishing in the bathroom, he shuffled out awkwardly in his socks, clothes piled in one arm, boots clutched like a lifeline in the other. One she quickly jerked from his grasp, moving fluidly to put them near the end of the bed on the side closest to the door, and even in the middle of his anxiety he approved the decision. Any threat would get to him before her, and whatever it was better hope it killed him quick, because he wasn’t letting  _ anything _ get to the other side of that mattress.

She then returned for his clothes, dropping them unceremoniously into a wicker hamper near the bathroom door. He was gnawing pretty steadily at the inside of his lip at this point, eyes sticking to her as she came to stand in front of him once more. Her lips quirked at him a little, not a smile, too pensive as it forced small worried lines on either side of her mouth that he didn’t like.

She was looking at him like she wasn’t sure he wanted her kissing him, which was about the most bizarre thing he could think of, not wanting to kiss Beth Greene. Not wanting to do it _all_ the damn time, to never let her out of this _fucking_ _room_ so he didn’t have to stop. She was that glowing bit of soft light that he’d thought died out in the world so long ago. The warmth of her, even with her chilled skin, rolled along his aching parts until he felt less broken standing in the glimmering radiance she cast.

Yeah, he had it pretty bad for her, and she thought he could take or leave a kiss…

He hummed a bit, not really sure why, before dipping his head enough to press his mouth to her slightly parted one. His body moved into her without conscious thought, hands reaching out to clasp her jean clad hips, it was a little easier to keep a hold of himself this time. Of course his nerve endings still fired like a semi-automatic, peppering the whole of him with sparks and jerks.

The rub of her lips against his, chased the berry sweet flavor on her tongue down his throat, frying the air in his lungs, the destruction continued down his spine, landing hot and insisting in his gut. The thickening and heating of his dick was pretty much the same as every other time she’d touched him, but this go around, instead of feeling embarrassed or scared with the wonder of how she’d react – he knew it wasn’t something that would frighten or gross her out – him wanting her was something she  _ liked _ .

He enjoyed this, the almost lazy way their mouths stroked together, the way she played idly with the frayed edges of his shirt along the peak of his arm. How she was basically laying into him as he gripped thick seamed jeans, before sliding his hands almost tentatively back until he cradled the swell of her ass with palms and fingertips. 

But even as she released a hungry little noise at the back of her throat, her jaw kept the same rolling ease they’d set, and her hands crept under the fabric lining his shoulders – making slow dull scrapes as the two of them pushed into one another.

She ended the kiss with a bit of a gasp, just a deep breath, and his eyes slid open to meet hers as she looked up at him, seeming a bit shaken. 

“Time to stop?” She breathed, flicking a glance to his mouth which made it hard for him to want anything  _ other _ than what they’d just been doing.

“Yeah?” He murmured, readjusting his hold on the fleshy roundness that he was becoming more and more partial to. Woman had a great ass, had a damn great everything, far as he was concerned.

She let out a shuddering little breath and he quickly felt guilty and uneasy, he kept doing this, setting these rules and then pushing right the fuck over the line of them. The hell was he trying to do? Get her good and wound up before climbing into that big ass bed to tempt the shit out of fate? 

He wondered if the him of even a year ago would have been this way. He seriously doubted it. Her and the others had been cracking him open for a long time now, making him more solid, a little more sure. 

“Better.” She reasoned, still sounding like she was attempting to catch her breath as her hips shifted a little roughly into him and his air caught and raked its way clear of his throat. “Before this turns into  _ ‘Just Kissin’ _ again.”

He nodded quickly, even as he moved to cover her mouth, hauling her into him a little tighter, just a bit of friction, that’s all he needed. Her hands moved to press into the side of his head, heels sliding into the dips behind his ears, nails digging into the flesh of his scalp. Her hips tilted up and he took that as an invitation to repeat the grinding of her against him. Ok so just a  _ little _ more friction but that was it.

He was throbbing like a motherfucker now, and from the plaintive little noises, and the shear heat of her he could feel through his jeans, he figured she must be feeling about the same. But yeah, the two of them sleeping in the same bed? Not a problem. And apparently it being a little easier to control himself wasn’t  _ entirely _ accurate, at least not anymore.

Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck and he felt her flex until she was moving up his body, her feet leaving the floor, and he groaned into her mouth as this enabled her to spread her thighs to either side of his and the friction became  _ just that much better _ . And she may not be exactly light, but right now she felt like nothing much at all, while he repositioned her and thrust forward.

Her moan was so forceful it puffed inside his cheeks, vibrating the corners of his mouth and racing along the length of his teeth until it met the one he’d made in the back of his throat.

_ Fuckin’ love ‘Just Kissin’. _

He gave one more, lighter, push against her heated center, before lowering her unenthusiastically to the carpet, agreeing whole heartedly with her grumbling sound of disappointment. He really needed to remember this shit about the time she broke the bed rule or something close to it, he was a dumb sonofabitch who was coming dangerously close to crossing a boundary he wasn’t ready for, had a feeling she wasn’t ready for either. 

He basically had to peel his fingers one at a time from her cheeks, pulling his tongue from hers, his lips followed, and he swayed back a little unsteadily. She looked up at him, something like irritation peeking through darkened blues, as the rosy shade coloring her cheeks and swollen state of her mouth, made him murmur an unintelligible little sound of appreciation. 

She was gorgeous, fuckin’ gorgeous.

“You do that  _ one _ more time Daryl Dixon…” She stopped, taking a quaking breath in, he was such an asshole, she really was going to end up cutting him off. 

Really might have to, he wasn’t supposed to be acting like a horny teenager, had no fuckin’ excuse, other than that sweet mouth and round ass.

She didn’t seem able to continue, or couldn’t think of anything dire enough to threaten him with. 

“S’rry.” He apologized quietly, watching her eyes widen a little, before she was slowly pulling herself completely free of him, shaking her head a little.

“No I-” Her face darkened another couple of shades. “I like it, I just…I’m worried we’ll hit a point and I’ll…” He was still kind of stuck on hearing her say that she  _ liked it _ , because that wasn’t helping him much, not that he deserved help calming down after that.

“I’ll try pushin’ you too far.” She swallowed hard, taking a small step back. “An’ I don’t want that to happen, not ever.”

He  _ really _ was a dumb sonofabitch. He was just also the  _ luckiest _ dumb sonofabitch this side of the apocalypse. Because  _ this _ girl had somehow gotten it into her head that he was worth sharing her  _ time _ with, let alone her mouth, and her bed.     

“It’d kinda serve me right at this point, dont’cha think?” He grumbled, feeling every inch the jackass he was. Her breathing stilled and he found his own stalling at the look that came over her face.

“No Daryl. I don’t think  _ anyone _ deserves touchin’ that they don’t want. Doesn’t matter who’s doin’ it.”

If he could puddle into the fuckin’ carpet below his socked feet that’d be real good. So not only had he got her wound up with no adequate ability (mentally) to finish the action, but now he’d obviously triggered something about what had happened at Grady.

Oh yeah, he was  _ amazin’ _ alright.

Because to top off this whole situation he  _ still _ hadn’t made the time or effort to sit down with this woman who was far too good for him, and have her talk about the shit that had made her fly off the handle to the point where he could have easily lost her gorgeous fuckin’ ass before he got anywhere  _ near _ those lips of hers.

“Beth-”

“Nothin’ happened.” Her sudden words froze him, mid hand-raise-to-apologize for the second time tonight. He felt everything focus into the single point of her gaze meeting his. “He tried. One of the cops but…” He could see her clenching fists at her sides in his peripheral, but he couldn’t have dragged his sight from hers, not even if something got cracked along the back of his thick skull. “Put his hands up my…” She motioned at her shirt, pulling from his gaze to yank at it distractedly. “But one of the girls he’d already…she died and turned, I smashed him over the head and she got a hold of him. Tore him up.”

He was dead. The fucker was dead. Daryl didn’t really think his death sounded near slow enough. But at least now he knew, maybe it’d help him keep his goddamn hands to himse –

“But I wanted you to know, you touchin’ me doesn’t make me think about that. Not once I swear.” His chest felt near ready to collapse at her words, he didn’t deserve her, never knew it more certainly than this moment. “But the idea of me not stopping when you ask me to, of you going along with it ta’ make me happy, or ‘cause you feel like ya have to for some reason. It makes me sick Daryl, I mean it.” 

Her eyes were fierce on his as he felt his vision blacken around the edges, Christ, how was he supposed to breathe again…he couldn’t quite remember the details. She took a hesitant step back towards him and it was like her proximity pushed the air back into his lungs. His eyesight cleared to see her open faced desperation as she peered up at him.

“So you gotta promise me, you won’t keep quiet if you ain’t wantin’ to go any further one of these times, ok?”  

He managed a head bob after her words detangled in his head, it didn’t sound like  _ nothin’ _ not to him, sounded like she’d fought the fucker off that’d been about to rape her. But she seemed to want to either move on, or was trying to tell him that it was the idea of becoming some kind of aspect of her attacker that she was worried most about. He had to respect that, even if he didn’t think he deserved all that worry she was aiming at him.

“Promise.” The word rasped like dead snake skin from his throat, and he didn’t trust himself to touch her, because right now, he was pretty sure he’d go far as fuck with her. Might have some kind of crisis afterwards, which would defeat the point of what she’d  _ just _ got done telling him but…

She was – he didn’t even  _ know _ this feeling.

“C’mon.” He said after things cooled slightly through him, he motioned at the bed with his chin, he was gonna get a fucking hold on himself for her, for the both of them. “Gonna tell me about that party ‘member?”

She searched his expression for a moment, before smiling happily and nodding.

“Ya ready for…” He trailed off a bit.

He didn’t know if she was comfortable enough to use the sweats or other pajamas he was sure they’d supplied her with, had supplied all of them with. Didn’t know how comfortable that outfit she was wearing was either. Looked a little…close fitting.

He watched a little dazedly as she went to a different side of the dresser and pulled out what looked like those stretchy pants 30-something moms used to wear around all the time, pushed things a little out of her way until she found a t-shirt that was far too big for her and, without giving him another glance, disappeared into the bathroom.

He eyed the bed a little warily, thinking a few unhelpful thoughts as he did, they’d talked – she’d told him what had happened with the lucky-to-be-dead motherfucker that had laid a hand on her. He already knew what had happened with Dawn, he’d check, but it seemed like it had been what the two of them had done that had gotten to her the most. Which meant, he didn’t really have them needing to talk as a barrier before things progressed, that put things squarely back onto them and their ability to behave.

To figure when and what steps it would take to get them to that point.

His eyes flicked to the still closed door before landing back on the soft expanse next to him. He was determined not to fuck this up, but then, he’d been goddamned  _ determined _ not to kiss her before they’d had a decent conversation about the hospital. He’d been thinking that…well that he’d touch her and it’d – trigger her again – and he wouldn’t have been able to handle that shit at all.

See his touch kill that light inside her eyes.

He’d have reached a whole new level of self-loathing, probably one he’d never leave. But apparently it hadn’t been  _ that _ much of a fuckin’ worry since it hadn’t stopped him from putting his mouth on hers again and again, grinding her pelvis to his…

The bathroom door opened and he looked up to see her drop her own worn clothes into the wicker hamper, though she seemed to second guess the choice and he watched her in a little bit of confusion as she fished her jeans back out. She fiddled with them before she put them on the floor next to her side of the bed, similar to how she had with his boots.

_ Smart _ .

He’d give her more than enough time to pull on the extra fabric, if anything came through the door, though they were already a little safer from being on the second floor…Which meant anything coming threat-wise was human, and whoever thought to come in here with an idea of hurting her better pray they were quick as fuck. 

“Ya’ok?” His eyes focused on her, where she stood next to the bed, comforter slightly pulled down. 

He jerked his nodding answer, had to quit thinking about that shit happening, he was ready for it if it did, that’s what mattered. He moved to help her pull the blanket down enough so that they could both slide underneath it and the sheet. 

He thought about staying on top of the covers, but a part of him figured he’d catch an earful about how that meant he didn’t trust her, or some wrong bit of heresy like that. He didn’t trust himself, not with Beth Greene, but after what she’d just found the courage to talk about – he didn’t want to risk upsetting her.

“So, I think we need’ta be keepin’ an eye on our people.” She launched in as soon as they’d gotten settled, him on his back – propped up with an insane amount of pillows (at least two) – while she was turned towards him on her side. 

The declaration threw him a bit, and he stayed quiet, waiting for her to continue with her reasoning. He’d thought everyone was doing alright, even Rick, who’d seemed about one more herd away from cracking, was working to acclimate the best he could.

Though…maybe that wasn’t true considering they were constantly working out ways to weaponize themselves against the Alexandrians…  

“For one thing, Rick is getting’  _ way _ too interested in that Jessie woman.” The fuck? They’d been here for like a minute, and the man was already making eyes at one of the locals? Shit, maybe he should’ve gone to that party, he’d had no idea. “An’ not only is she married with a couple’a kids but..” She stalled out a bit and he watched her face screw up in thought. “I don’t know there’s somethin’ about her. About the two of them, her an’ her husband Pete, puts me on edge.”

He grunted immediate acceptance of her judgment, Beth said there was something off about the couple than there must be. Girl had a radar for people, should be her out with Aaron, bringing folks in. Maybe the three of them could go, he didn’t see why not, she might be up for some training…and then he wouldn’t have to leave her behind when he left.

And fuck he just  _ did not _ want to  _ ever _ do that.

“And then there’s Sasha.” She nodded at his surprised expression. “Yeah I know, thought I was gonna need to keep an eye on Tyreese, but tonight Sasha straight went  _ off _ on some lady that wanted a’…what was it…somethin’ silly.”

“Neudermeyer lady wants a’ pasta maker.” He supplied, feeling an odd kind of happy for knowing what she was talking about, for getting that round eyed expression from her when he knew something so gossip related.

“How did you…” She glared playfully at him once she saw his lips twitch, the way his eyes crinkled down at her. “Aaron and Eric?”

“Mhmmm.” He had to admit, this was sort of nice, sitting here real comfortable, the house quiet around them and getting to spend some non-adrenaline high moments with her.

“Hope y’all got along good ‘cause I think dinner with those two would be a great time.”

“What?” He grumbled at her words, feeling light even as he narrowed his eyes at her. “Think I can’ make nice an’ shit?”

“Oh hush.” She rolled her eyes at him as she took a swipe at his chest, and he surprised them both by catching the hand and holding onto it. “But we-”

“So Sasha’s barkin’ at the soccer moms?” He cut her off, rubbing content little circles into her palm with his thumb. “Everythin’ stay t’name callin’?”

She was watching his movements with a kind of interest that made his blood heat before she was nodding her head and attempting to answer.

“Y-yeah, Tyreese got her to calm down, took her for a walk.” Her eyes tripped to his and Daryl knew his half lidded look wasn’t helping anything, but didn’t stop that or the attentions to her hand, hell he was barely breaking the rule right now. No kissing or anything. “Guess she’s havin’ a hard time dealin’ with how easy they’ve had it here.”

He huffed a breath and nodded. “Can’ say as I blame ‘er.” He ran a steady track along the base of her fingers.

“We’re gonna have to keep an eye on all of ‘em.” She reiterated her opening argument.

“Ain’t much fer babysittin’.” He mumbled, edging his way down a little flatter, retaining his hold on her. “Ain’t got the patience.”

“Dunno.” She answered quietly, sidling a little closer to him across the mattress their eyes catching a little before he looked back to her hand. “Ya did alright with me.”

“Tchuh.” He scoffed, flicking quickly to her and away. “Never  _ babysat _ you girl.”

“Felt like ya had to.” Her voice was a near whisper and he moved closer to her, head tilting to catch her words even though he’d heard her fine. “Figured ya’d been mad over gettin’ the prison’s weakest link.” 

“That what you think?” His grip tightened a little, head shifting on the pillow to lock eyes with her. “I’s pissed ‘cause  _ you _ was with me?”

“Daryl it’s fine.” She had that soothing tone that told him he was snapping at her even when he hadn’t meant to. “I don’t think that’s how ya see me  _ now _ .” 

“ _ Hell _ girl.” Shaking his head he broke the rule a little more, and tugged until she lay half on top of him, looking down at him in shock. “Wasn’ that alrigh’?” He didn’t want to get into where his head had been at, when they’d first made it clear of their most recently lost home. 

Some of his family dead, home tore to shit, man that killed his brother the cause, and there he was with Beth Greene. Last beacon of fuckin’ home and hearth, if it had been one of the others,  _ any _ of the others, he’d have been more alright with it. Because  _ when _ he lost them it’d be just one more shitty thing that happened in this new nasty world of theirs. 

But Beth…

He couldn’t bear  _ then _ the idea of losing the sweet and feisty farmer’s daughter who sang like she was wrapping up every good thing left in the world and working it into a tune. He didn’t want the last person of his family he was going to see alive be Beth. That had seemed too much to take with everything else he’d lost. 

“Daryl.” And he could tell she didn’t quite believe him, was warring with the image she had in her head of the way things had gone between them, and what he was telling her now.

_ Ok so fuck the rules. _

Holding her face, light as he could with his clumsy hands, he lifted to press his lips to hers. He licked into her mouth, felt her tense and then settle into him, until he could drop his head back to the pillow. 

She’d thrown a leg over his thigh when he’d first pulled her over, and now her knee glided its way up to his hip, nudging at him with every small shift of her frame. He dropped a hand from her face to snuggle his fingers in between her softly clad calf and thigh, tips digging lightly into the back of her knee to encourage its movement farther over.

He didn’t want to rub into her, he was already hard of course, but he wasn’t looking for that, just liked her warmth, even as her cold hands clutched into his shirt. Fuck did she taste amazing, and just like after the first few times he’d kissed her, he reveled in the knowledge of  _ exactly _ what that wild sweetness reminded him of. She whined into his mouth, body going liquid heavy against him, tongue rolling insistently against his slower moving one.

With a kind of strength he hadn’t really fuckin’ exhibited lately, Daryl was able to pull his mouth away, move his hand to her thigh and squeeze a little, stroking it dazedly as he pressed the back of his head into the pillow, breathing like he’d been in a fist fight. She was watching him with slightly parted lips, looking that kind of beautiful that hurt to see. 

“Ya can’t help it can ya?” She sounded so fucking surprised, was he that hard to read? Shouldn’t she have realized that shit a while back, that he couldn’t  _ help _ any of it?  

That lamp lit beauty was tugging at something along the corners of his eyes and he shut them, shaking his head against the soft press at the back of his head. He kept them closed as she moved away from him, sliding her leg from his grasp, her cheek from his touch. There was the slight movement on the bed, and he’d finally gone too far, broke too many rules, pushed that shitty Dixon luck too far. She was leaving him, probably going to find a safer place to sleep where he couldn’t run his hands over her.

He should stop her, tell her it was really her damn room, he’d go back to the porch…

The meager light glowing against his lids went out, and after a few silent moments the bed gave under her weight, and he sighed out a breath as she insinuated herself once again along his side, laying a warm cheek on the juncture between his chest and shoulder. Fingers skipped across his stomach to take up his hand and he clasped it a little too hard before easing.

“I can’t either.” Her whisper trickled down his spine, and he turned his head until his lips were tickled with conditioned locks and he gave an affirming squeeze to her hand.

He fell asleep at some point like that, wrapped up with her, feeling like the normalist motherfucker in the world. He woke a couple times during the night, habit to make sure he was still alive and not being chewed on, and found that she’d rolled away from him. 

Throughout the night he’d wake to find her in a different position each time.

He had no idea why, but it made him want to smile. He’d never noticed her to be much of a fitful sleeper, but then, most of the times they’d slept in the same area she’d been bone weary or not in a position to toss about. He liked it, dumb as it sounded, getting to see this side of her, rolling about, curling or stretching into whatever position she wanted.

Morning light had him shifting from the covers she hadn’t managed to pull off the both of them, putting his boots on silently as she continued to huff out slight breaths behind him.

He opened the door only to freeze immediately. 

Rick flinched mid-step, eyes shooting over at the sudden movement, hand making a movement towards one of the weapons he was no doubt carrying, before stilling at the recognition of who he was looking at. Quick eyes flicked over Daryl’s shoulder and it became apparent that the man had just put together whose room he was walking out of. 

Daryl finished closing the door behind him, as Rick’s eyebrows rose towards his messy morning hairline.

“Don’t.” He growled immediately, soon as the click sounded from the barrier at his back.

Hands were held up in defeat as the two began making their way down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Wasn’t gonna say a thing.” Rick defended quietly, steps making slightly more noise than Daryl’s as they cleared the last step and entered the well-lit room that was still clear of people.

“Nothin’ happened.” Why the fuck was he still  _ talking _ ? Man said he wasn’t going to needle him about it.

_ Leave it be Dixon, Christ. _

He saw Rick’s poorly hidden smirk and felt his returning glower appropriate.

“Stop it.” He snapped, fists clenching, and he realized as he continued why it bothered him, the smirk. “I mean it, goddamn it.” He didn’t want anyone, even Rick, thinking that Beth would sleep with him so quickly.

And wasn’t that stupid?

End of the whole damn world and he was getting his back up about whether his brother thought his girl was easy. Who the hell cared about that kind of shit anymore? Beth didn’t need him protecting her honor or some medieval nonsense like that but…he couldn’t stop the way his teeth gritted or his brow furrowed.

_ Fuck it.  _

Just one more thing about her that he couldn’t help.

“Daryl.” Rick watched him with highly raised brows, hands resting easy on the counter. “I believe you man ok?” Daryl huffed out a breath and nodded, moving to open the pantry door in search of something to eat. “Just think it’s good ya know? Two of you are good for each other.”

Their eyes met and Daryl caught at the inside of his cheek before nodding again and looking away once again. Beth’s words from the night before niggled inside his newly wakened brain and he almost said something about that Jessie lady, but decided against it. He’d try to keep an eye on it, but right now he didn’t feel like getting into another awkward conversation first thing in the morning. 

Snagging a can of fruit (pears thank fucking hell) he plucked a spoon from the drawer, and offering Rick a nod in goodbye, took the stairs two at a time so that he could get inside their room (yeah that was still weird) and away from everyone but her.

Sleep filled eyes blinked at him from her place in the covers and he paused a second before jiggling the can a little.

“Breakfast?” She croaked before clearing her throat and smiling. “Gosh that’s pretty sweet.”

“Mhmmm.” He hummed, ignoring her attempt to tease, taking a seat on the bed, turning sideways while keeping his boots off the bedding, one leg propped up, the other still flat against the carpet. 

He pulled the snap top lid off, dropping it on the bedside table before putting the spoon in and offering her the can. She took a bite, waited for him to do the same, before he found himself with her hand on his face and her lips pressing hard to his.

He had a startled moment to move his mouth against hers before she pulled away with a pleased smile that made him scoff a little.

“Good mornin’.” She beamed at him, happy as hell to have an old redneck bringing her pears in a can for breakfast.

“Mornin’.” He murmured back, watching as she ate another bite. “You wanna train with me today?”

_ Woah where in the fuck had that come from? _

Her eyes widened while she chewed, reaching out with her free hand she gave his arm a squeeze, and nodded at him enthusiastically until she swallowed.

“Of course!”

Something tight and wound began to uncoil in his chest and he dipped a nod of acknowledgement before telling her about Aaron’s offer and his idea that she might could come with them when it didn’t interfere with the job Deanna had given her.

“Like t’keep ya with me.” He finished finally, digging around the can for an easily attained pear that he used as an excuse to not be looking at her.

“Good.” Her answer was quiet and pulled his unwilling gaze to hers, finding her closer than he’d thought she was. “’Cause that’s where I’d like ta’ be.”

He was a little more ready this time for the kiss. Except he didn’t think he’d  _ really _ ever be.

_ Fuck kinda person trusted feelin’ this happy? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, kind of just some more of them feeling out the relationship, hope this doesn't get boring for anyone, we might spend some serious time being domestic as fuck here for a bit, so like I said let me know peeps b/c I love the feedback! All of it!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth doesn't behave, and then talking and couch time is a thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - You all are wonderful and lovely and I'm rather attached to you ^.^ Would now be the best time to warn you guys that I'm leaving in a week and a half, and won't be able to post for a couple weeks after that? No? Better to do it at the end of the chapter maybe? :| Well peeps I'm sure it'll go by quick!
> 
> I wish you all semi-steamy reading!

**Chapter 18**

 

She friggin’ loved _‘trainin’._

Her head lolled to the side as Daryl’s mouth made insistent motions into the skin along her neck, her ass cradled against his hips – their jeans snagging at one another, feeling him rub at her cheeks and a little bit sweeter south in half ragged movements as she held his bow all but forgotten in her hands. It was all she could do to keep a hold of the heavy thing as he held tight to her waist. 

“Damnit Beth.” He growled, and she could tell that growl wasn’t  _ all _ desire even as he thrusted once more making her gasp. “Didn’ come out here t’fuck around.”

It really  _ was _ her fault, they’d been tracking and practicing with the bow (he was going to start hand to hand tomorrow) and the thing was - he’d been reminding her, how to aim right – shoot – the whole nine. But then his arms were showing her, pressing skin to skin, voice quiet and focused in her ear, and she sort of  _ pushed _ back into him. It had felt a bit clichéd, a bit obvious, a  _ bit _ like she was going against what she’d sworn she wasn’t going to do while they were out here. But her body didn’t seem to take much of that into consideration.

He’d snapped at her, told her  _ what _ they  _ weren’t _ gonna be doing, how she better just  _ forget that shit  _ right now. So yeah, she’d done it again, because the area around the trees they were standing in was quiet, there wasn’t a walker anywhere near them, not a human in sight either, and he didn’t get to be the only one messing up, making her blood go all molten and near painful while she just  _ waited _ for it to happen. 

It had made more sense…when she’d done it.

He’d growled then too, muttering a few choice expletives at her before gripping her hips and snapping them back into his, that mouth that was the same temperature as her blood – adhering to her neck, working the skin there with teeth and lips, every now and then rolling his tongue there like he did his hips against her backside.

But hadn’t they already discussed this? As shocking and strange as it was, they couldn’t seem to help it. He wasn’t supposed to be this comfortable touching her, being touched by her, she was no doubt supposed to be having some lingering trauma from Grady – but even as he slid his roughhewn hands below her shirt, the only thing she felt was need, coupled with want, and a healthy dose of  _ oh fuck yes _ .   

He didn’t go farther up, that was ok, just pressed scraping heels against smooth, softly heaving, abdominal muscles and flexing stomach. She wanted nothing more than to encourage him to find more of that contact he was steadily rotating his hips in search of, but if she let this keep going she was going to want to be kissing him, have her arms wrapped around something other than his dang crossbow.

And that would mean she’d have to move, and as soon as she moved he’d be able to get a hold of himself, which was no doubt what he  _ should _ be doing, even if it seemed – and felt – like a  _ terrible _ idea to her right now.  She just never seemed to know how it escalated to this, and so very  _ very _ quickly  _ every _ time. Heck, he’d done it the very first time they’d kissed, and that was about as far from what she’d expected, she probably couldn’t have guessed it, had someone asked her to. 

Maybe they’d been priming one another for too long before this, for anything else to happen now that it was recognized and allowed – for them to touch each other in a way that was more than easing one another’s aching muscles. She didn’t really know, and as the wet between her legs slid her lips against her clit with the help of her jeans and the man rocking behind her, she didn’t really care.

“Ok.” The word hitched out as his fingers slid along the top of her jeans, not going for the button or trying to peek a digit underneath, but just the vicinity alone being enough to startle her lungs into working incorrectly. “M’sorry.” Harsh breath as he bit a little harder on her exposed shoulder.

Ugh, she  _ really _ liked it when he did that.

_ Focus _ .

“Training.” Her voice was a little steadier, and he stilled his movements, taking about a full minute to get his body under control. 

Forehead resting on the skin he’d just finished leaving marks on, his hair running shivers down her spine where it brushed her too warm flesh, breathing hard, hands clenching rhythmically on the flesh of her stomach. 

“ _ Damnit _ .” She frowned as he hissed the word and dropped his hold suddenly, removing his body so quickly from hers she stumbled back. “God  _ damnit _ !” She turned in time to see him begin to pace, face screwed up in irritation.

“Daryl I’m sorry.” His reaction surprised her, they’d gotten to this point about  _ every _ time they’d kissed, he’d never seemed bothered by stopping. The opposite, he was always at least half embarrassed that it had started in the first place. “Ya told me not to, I shouldn’a-” 

“Damn  _ right _ ya shouldn’a!” 

Her eyes felt huge in her head as he spun on her, face flushed, fists balled up at his sides. Her turning had brushed her back up against a tree, and despite all the images  _ that _ presented, she stayed solemn in the face of his anger, trying to discern if she were misunderstanding the cause.

Because she had to be, Daryl Dixon didn’t get pissy over a hard-on, especially not with her.

Leaning back a little against the trunk, keeping steady eyes on him, she lowered the bow until it was propped up next to her, unable to bear its weight any longer. He tracked her movements with his eyes that narrowed steadily, like she was doing something  _ else _ to antagonize him. 

“That whatcha want?” And he stalked closer to her, immediately invading her space. “Huh?” She could feel the warmth of him – breath to breastbone as he leaned in closer still. “Me throwin’ ya up against one of these trees?” And at this he pushed, almost gently – but firmly, between her legs as her pulse jumped and she felt just how  _ not _ calmed down he was, a hot near damp weight pressing hard into her. “Ya want me  _ fuckin’ _ ya out here ‘til ya scream?” She gripped his vest and held on, eyes searching his, still waiting to see where his agitations really lie. 

“Daryl-” She barely managed his name like a curse, as he rolled once into her. 

But even now he wasn’t…threatening…overbearing…even as he moved against her, manipulated her lungs with his gaze. Eyes too black to show blue, and he pressed in, one more time, holding it there until she wriggled, wanting that friction that he was  _ so _ good at providing.

And then, just as quickly as he’d moved into her, he was gone.

“Tha’s what yer lookin’ for, you better run that tight ass a’ yours back inside the wall,” his arm lashed out towards Alexandria, tendons standing out on his neck as he spit, “better get  _ real _ friendly with one a’ them dumbass  _ Monroe _ boys.”

Her brow furrowed immediately, they’d  _ had _ this conversation, she knew (and so did he dang it) that it wasn’t just messing around going on between them. It wasn’t just some darn itch that needed scratched or time needing spent doing something other than surviving. 

If it wasn’t Daryl, it wasn’t anyone, that’s all there was to it. The longer they spent together, as a couple, as partners before that, mentor – student, whatever and whichever, there just wasn’t anyone else that was gonna come close to touching him. 

She didn’t have him up on a pedestal or anything, but she knew his worth, better than he did, and it was so considerable it still staggered her even after all this time. 

So for him to try to make her feel guilty over wanting him, well that was pretty akin to her shaming him for getting attached to her. And she wasn’t looking to go backwards, never again, so when she answered that little insult, her tone was sharp.

“Stop it.”

Not that it slowed him in the least.

“It ain’t  _ never _ gonna happen Beth!” He gestured angrily between the two of them and the tree at her back, accent kicking up hard, that brash tone leaking into it a bit. “Ain’t riskin’ it.”

Her heart swelled, crowded her lungs, knocked against the bottom of her ribcage.

So  _ that _ was it.

She’d distracted him, without hardly trying, and he’d obviously gone against his own personal vow of not losing control out here when it was possibly dangerous, and they could get hurt or killed. She was willing to bet a backrub though, that his concern was almost entirely for her. 

Even as he took out his panic and anger at himself on her now – which wasn’t ok – their attraction kept them pushing at one another, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. She was really going to have to control herself when they trained in the future.

He was back in her face, obviously sensing that she wasn’t quite  _ there _ with him in her thoughts. 

And he apparently didn’t like whatever his brain formulated as the cause.

“But I’ll tell ya one thing.” His voice dropped to his early morning growl, and she was breathing in the air he expelled when he kept going. “You do decide on one a’ them, they best hope t’ Christ they’re a two pump chump, ‘cause I find out about them bringin’ ya out here fer that  _ shit _ ,” her pulse trilled along her wrists as he got close enough to kiss, “an’ they’ll get a bolt in ‘em  _ way _ b’fore they get a’ chance t’ finish.”

She took in deep, but unsteady breaths, her whole body humming and whirring with throbbing that might have centered in her clit, but by no means stayed there, reining in the urge to tip her head forward the small inches to kissing him – she answered his rant in a throat scratching voice.

“Are you done?”

Her near lack of answer must have thrown him, he took a hard breath in through his nose – maybe thinking to pop off with something else – before leaning back away from her slightly.

“D’pends.” He answered after a moment, eyeing her warily, some kind of emotion close to guilt in his eyes. “Ya gonna hit me if I am?”

She reached down and scooped up his bow, refusing to acknowledge the plaintive grumbling of her muscles as she straightened back up, locking her eyes with his.

“I was gonna say we should go back home.” He looked mildly taken aback, eyes widening minutely in surprise.

“Yeah?” 

She walked by him, snagging his hand as she passed, towing him behind her as she started back towards the community. 

“Yeah.” She flicked a glance over her shoulder at him, immediately catching his eye once again, not missing the uncertainty in his expression or his gate, as he followed obediently in her wake, eyes digging into hers when they met. “An’ don’t worry, I’ll give ya plenty a’ chances to make up for what ya just said to me.”

She had already turned back when she heard his answer, could almost  _ feel _ his bobbing nod.

“Alrigh’.”

She hollered to Spencer once they reached the gate, having handed Daryl back his bow and dropped his hand, since they still weren’t letting the Alexandrians know they were together.

“Hey.” The oldest Monroe brother said in a quiet voice once he’s slid the steel aside, his tone one that seemed to Beth much more intimate than it should be considering their single conversation last night. 

And she tracked the way his eyes flicked to a brooding Daryl behind her, the way his lips twitched as if he found the idea of the longhaired growling wildling, training the girl next door to shoot, the most humorous thing for all sorts of reasons. But namely, like there was some kind of inside joke between him and herself, like he’d forgotten Daryl was in the group she’d shown up with.

“Back.” She chirped, smiling easily as she considered how thoroughly the man behind her could thrash the preppy boy with the smirk, knowing that Daryl was probably thinking the same as he followed her in.

Not that she’d ever encourage or admit to  _ those _ thoughts. But it was, comforting, knowing just how capable Daryl was, how strong, maybe it was some primal thing that should be obvious. She just liked the knowledge that if something tried to take him from her, it better be willing to lose a chunk of itself it the process, because Daryl wasn’t going to let something take him out without giving it the worst fight of its life. Human or walker, heck – grizzly or mountain lion – didn’t matter the predator, because Daryl wasn’t prey.

“He teach you anything good?” Spencer asked lowly, keeping his eyes on her as he slung the gate closed behind him.

“Nope.” She answered sweetly, waiting for his smile to grow before continuing. “But he’s about to.”

She saw confusion flash before she turned to head towards the house, knowing without looking that Daryl would follow her, hearing his low rumble before he did.

“Hand-to-hand.” But his voice sounded more threat than cover. “Ya let me know if ya want a turn.”

She had to bite at her cheek to keep from laughing, glancing at him as he came up to match her pace, hands wrapped around his bow strap, face slightly darker than usual, neither of them said a word upon reaching the house. She made it inside, closed the door after him before motioning for him to take his bow off and flicking the lock on the front door. 

She waited just long enough for him to get the bow propped against the end of the couch before she was pushing him down onto the cushions. He grunted a bit in surprise, but didn’t have much time to say anything as she straddled his lap, pressing her mouth to his so quickly he sucked the breath from between her teeth in surprise. She let the kiss linger for only a moment or two before breaking away to look at him.

“Don’t say that kinda shit to me again.” His brows jumped at her cursing, but he nodded readily enough, the look on his face one of unsure awe. 

She kept control of her hips and chest, no moving or sought friction, just bent down again and melded their mouths together. Noticing, even as she slipped an inquiring tongue into his heated mouth, that he kept his hands quite carefully placed on the cushions that were to either side of him. She had hers on his face, palms full of course hair, thumbs stroking along the ridge of cheek bone on each side – the ones that always looked sharp enough to cut. 

Kissing him was a whole other form of reality, her entire being distilled down to where his taste buds swept and rolled against hers, the scraping and catching of lips and tongues with teeth. Hot puffs of air against her face when she did something he really liked, but refused to make the sound that was supposed to accompany the breath. 

She broke the contact with an inhale that took several attempts to complete, nuzzling along his tickling facial hair, laying her head on his leather clad shoulder, clearing a dark sweep of hair so that she could cozy up next to his twitching throat while she caught her breath. Her hands dropping between them to help her keep the right amount of space she was trying to achieve.

“Ya doin’ that after I yell at ya.” And boy did she love the whiskey and smoke sound of his voice, it was a shame he didn’t talk more. “Ain’t gonna help me learn any kinda manners.”

“I thought it was you, gonna be teachin’  _ me _ somethin’  _ Mr. Dixon _ .” Her teasing tone was apparently lost to him as her words shivered over his skin. 

“Guy’s a prick.” She caught his earlobe in her mouth, and felt his breath leave in a startled little whoosh. “Beth.” It was possible to say she was fascinated by the new variations of his tenor she was experiencing these days. 

He sounded like he was a little desperate, a little irritated, and just a  _ little _ like he was praying.

“I think we gotta do this more.” He scoffed, as she ran an unsure mouth around his shell, lipping the cartilage when he didn’t move to push her away. “M’serious, we aren’t used to havin’ someone we can kiss.”

“You-” He began, obviously thinking of how he’d met not one but  _ two _ of her boyfriends since they’d known one another.

“Already told you Daryl.” Her nose butted into his temple lightly. “ _ Nobody _ like you.” 

His responding shiver trembled up her thighs into her hips, and she took a few steadying moments to avoid increasing the contact, this being exactly what she had been telling him about.

“Ya kiss me an’ I can’t think, can’t reason.” His hands came up to hesitantly rest right above her knees that were pressed to either side of his legs. “Can’t remember why the hell I’d ever wanna stop.”

She couldn’t look at him, feeling an odd mix of bashful and powerful all at once, his lungful’s were erratic against her still limp fingers, and he leaned his head the slightest amount against her mouth as she spoke, dragging her lips across the flesh of his temple.

“An’ I know we aren’t ready, neither of us, to go as far as that feelin’s tellin’ me to.” Her muscles clenched as his hands moved to grip higher up her legs, fingers working into the muscles, and she was sure if she were to press down into him, she’d find him just as wanting as she was right now. “Think I’m ready t’go a little further, but I’ll wait ‘til you are too, long as it takes ‘cause if it ain’t you Daryl, it’s not worth it.”

“Gotta stop.” She froze against him at the haggardness in his tone. “Gotta stop talkin’ like that Br-” He swallowed hard, cutting off what he’d been about to say and she frowned, waiting. “I don’.” Stopping again, Beth could feel the tension roll through him when his words wouldn’t come the way he wanted, and she brought her arms up to snake around his neck, one curving hand trailing light fingernails against the side of his scalp as he tried again. “Don’ think I’ll know.”

She thought about that for a moment, it didn’t sound weird or crazy to her at all, just because she knew, didn’t mean she’d expected him to. Knew the amount they’d done so far was staggering to him, could tell it every time they broke apart after, his eyes flashing and face flushing like he didn’t know where or who he was anymore. Heck, her straddling him right now might be pushing his anxieties for all she knew, this whole process was a challenge for him.

“An’ that’s alright,” she flexed her arms a little for reinforcement, “guess it just goes back to what we were talkin’ about last night. You gotta tell me when it’s too much.”

“You gotta tell me too.” His head moved and she finally adjusted so she was meeting his eyes. “I need’ta know if somethin’…” Daryl’s face screwed up, and she knew what he was going to say before the words tripped out his mouth. “If I do somethin’ that makes ya think a’ that fucker.”

She nodded, reaching for one of his hands, she studied it a little, before lifting her shirt just a tad, and put his callused palm and twitching fingers to her bare stomach, digits wrapping around her waist, thumb stretching up to ghost the bottom of a rib.

“Out in the woods?”

“Where we  _ ain’t _ doin’ none a’ that shit again?”

“Yeah.” She smiled a little at his glaring look. “ _ Those _ woods. You put your hands across my stomach?”

She felt him freeze and was already shaking her head, leaning in quickly to press her mouth to his, nothing too heated, reassurance in her pressure – in the way she ducked back in to do it again when he didn’t respond to the first kiss. 

“I’m not sayin’ it won’t ever happen, but you wasn’t bein’  _ real _ gentle…” His face went rosy immediately and his eyes skipped away from hers. “An’ I  _ liked _ it just fine.” A skittering glance to check her face and he seemed mollified, though she was sure he probably didn’t enjoy talking about all of this in general.

“Yer ok?’ He mumbled, gaze cast down to where his one thumb was making steady swishing arcs against her thigh, while keeping the one on her stomach completely still. 

“Daryl, if I wasn’t tryin’ real hard right now, ta’ be respectful of what ya wanted, I’d  _ show _ ya, how ok I am, with  _ everythin’ _ that you were doin’.” 

His eyes didn’t lift to hers, but she felt his hand spasm a little on her thigh, clench into her side –thumb dipping below a rib, his jaw opened a bit behind closed lips as he appeared to roll his tongue around the inside of his mouth, looking a little contemplative as he did so before answering.

“Could maybe show me a lil’ bit.”

Her face split into a smile, watching as he still carefully avoided her eyes, cheek tucked between his teeth. She was having a fluttering issue in her chest, all caged bird and wayward balloon, dang thing didn’t want to stay moored at all.

“Yeah?” There was a lot of hope in that one word of hers, feeling it bubble like mad when he ticked his jaw forward a little with his nod. 

“Mhmmm.” His hand slid the length of her thigh, knee to hip and back again, the one on her midriff rubbing back and forth slightly around the curve of her body – all the while watching the movements like he hadn’t had those same hands gripped into her  _ ass _ , on more than  _ one _ occasion.

“Yeah?” She whispered it this time, lips nearly touching his as she brought her hands around to cradle his face again, smiling against his lips as he hummed in reply.

It started sweet, easy, little pressure, small gripping pulls with her lips on his. Feeling him settle into the rhythm, moving her hands inch by inch back into his hair as she deepened the kiss, felt the hand on her hip join the other on her back. Her appreciative noise, as it had before, encouraging him to continue the movement, to up the stakes a little. 

Heated weights dragged in a stuttering friction from base to shoulder blades and Beth’s mouth broke its hold to release the gasp escaping her lungs. He froze, arms hardening to either side of her, until she murmured something unintelligible, ground into him just a bit before recapturing his mouth. His tongue moved hesitantly, hands gliding unsurely down, no doubt in an attempt to escape the trap her shirt and flesh created. 

She wanted to stop him, ask him to do it again, do it more, do it everywhere, but they were trying to get to a point where they weren’t about to jump each other every time their lips met, so she only continued the working of his tongue with hers as his hands settled back above the flare of her hips, warm hands still wrapping her midriff.

A nick with her teeth and he was jerking up into her, the hold he had on her assisting the motion and Beth whimpered into his mouth, but he didn’t do it again, didn’t press her down into him, and she did her best not to rest more weight than was necessary into the scalding warmth of his lap. Doing her best to focus her attention on kissing him, how good their rhythm felt, how natural his fit to hers.

She released a breath like a laugh when they finally stilled, foreheads pressing together, chests pitching tremulously to capture and keep the oxygen they needed. 

He was all slick steam and hard planes, body below hers solid and sound, hands nearly chafing her sides from their insistent – deliberate – stroking. She adjusted her hips a little, trying to make sure she was far enough back not to graze him right now, and sucked in one of many harsh breaths from the cooler air that hit her pants and made her aware just how wet she was below the layers of jean and cotton.

“See?” Beth managed, drawing away enough to take in his dark gaze and still slightly working jaw, like he was still thinking about her tongue in his mouth as he watched her. “Better.”

He snorted a little, hands gripping her hips in a breath and clenching as he tugged her back down onto him once again. His hard length straining in his pants, feeling like a missing piece when it made contact, rubbing into her clit, killing what air she’d managed to wrangle in her lungs.

“Feel  _ better _ t’ you girl?”

_ Fuck yes. _

“Hmmm-haah.” She breathed out as she rolled into him, and his grip tightened as he met the motion with a rumbling breath of his own. 

Her next grinding pass sent throbs all the way down her thighs, knocking into her knee caps as she circled against his stiffened cock, hearing as much as feeling the groan that ripped out of him. He used his tight grip to direct her movement, even though after once or twice around she knew  _ exactly _ what he wanted. 

After that he was using his arm strength to keep her lightweight frame as heavy as he wanted, nearly crushing her against his hard-on, her breaths turning desperate and loud as they increased the pace of her rotations until her extremities sparked with unspent lightning. 

“Stop.” She all but collapsed on top of him when his hands left her like he’d been shocked, her head going back on his shoulder out of necessity, legs shaking as she kept her hips completely away from him. “S’my fault.” He growled, back to sounding pissed and disgusted with himself.

“ _ Our _ fault.” She panted into his hair, hands grasping and releasing along his shoulders. “But it did work, for a little bit, before…”

His hands landed, and just as quickly, left her trembling legs, one large hand coming to curl around the back of her head, tilting it until he could turn and nuzzle into her neck while his fingers hung along her shoulder.

“Think so?” And he sounded so friggin’ uncertain, like he’d messed them up, like he’d never be able to get a hold of himself. And how strange, for the man who as far as she knew, hadn’t really desired any kind of physical touch like this in such a long time. 

“Mhmmm.” She ran adrenaline soaked fingers through his hair before continuing. “And anyway, it’s got to, ‘cause we’re not givin’ up on this right?”

She felt a gusting puff of warmth on her neck before he answered. “Too ignorant t’ give ya up, cant’cha tell?”

Her smile rolled along his leather as his stubble scratched a path across her throat.

“Sounds like you’re wisin’ up to me.” He scoffed as he drew away from her, and she didn’t even try to stop the smile that flashed happily at him while she straitened and balanced herself on his sturdy knees. “It was bound to happen I suppose.”

He gave her a half-eyed look, stretching back to lay his arms along the back of the couch, looking all the world like the most at ease man in all the apocalypse and she grinned more at him as he considered her.

“Ya keep sassin’ me like that an’ I won’t rub yer back tonight.” Her breathing stilled for a moment as she sunk fully down onto him, checking again that she was far enough back not to rile him, legs feeling sore from the near constant flex she’d had them in.

“Don’t know if you should be rubbin’ my back with _or_ _without_ me sassin’ you.” Just the memory of those thick knuckles and wide palms moving over her made her want to shiver and clench all over.

His eyes scanned her face, shoulder moving a little before he held her gaze with his. “Would like to, if yer alrigh’ with it.” His mouth had barely stopped moving by the time she was nodding her acceptance.

He  _ wanted _ to?

She wouldn’t deny this man any kind of contact he wanted right now, because she knew none of it would be anything she wasn’t ready for too. And he was looking at her, eyes on hers, and that in itself was huge for him, and she just…she felt…

Shaking away the train of thought she gave him a half tugging smile.

“’Course I am.”

“Kay then.” She didn’t miss the pleased spark that lit his blues before he was glancing away from her. “Gonna need yer back rubbed for the next little while anyway.”

She rolled her eyes, thinking about what their week would entail. “Right. Hand-to-hand.”

“Ya still wanna righ’?” He was looking more comfortable with their position, eyes flicking to hers and away, taking in her face, her arms and abdomen, the room around them, but not looking nervous or uncomfortable. 

Coming back to her when she spoke again.

“I really do, like the idea of bein’ able to keep up with you.”

“Could always keep up with me fine.” It was times like this that she had to remind herself that Daryl didn’t lie as a rule. It was just hard to believe that he hadn’t looked at her inability to stay alive on her own with contempt. “Maybe couldn’ fight for shit, but ya’ve always run like a fuckin’ deer.”

She laughed, smacking at his chest, watched him tense in surprise before a twitching grin flickered along his mouth. She was about to start berating him about semantics when a figure caught at her sight over his shoulder and she snapped her eyes to it.

“Hey guys.” Carl greeted with a small smile, bouncing Judith as she looked at Beth with something along the lines of indignation on her sun-kissed face. “Sorry, I would have come through the front, but it’s locked.” She was a little impressed with his ability to keep any kind of teasing tone from his voice. “Judy was getting hungry, figured it was time to give up visiting all the neighbors for the day.”

She could be sitting on the rocky ground for all the give Daryl’s body was suddenly offering her, but she didn’t move, not right away. She wasn’t going to scramble away from him, not like she would have if Carl had walked in here a little while ago. She’d figured Daryl wouldn’t like much in the way of PDA but this was the whole reason they’d told people wasn’t it? So that they didn’t have to go skittering away from one another whenever someone entered the room?

“Guess we could see about gettin’ a lunch goin’.” She looked back to Daryl to see him focusing off to her left for some reason, face and ears coloring steadily. “Others should be headed in from their jobs soon shouldn’t they?”

He took a moment to realize he was expected to answer before rasping out. “Should be.”

“Alright then.” 

She smiled as she made it to her feet, eyes clicking over to where Carl bounced his sister, giving her something of a mischievous smile before turning to head into the kitchen. She felt a shivering of fabric, and looked down to see Daryl tug at her shirt. It had, at one point, been rucked up underneath her breasts – but was now only showing a sliver of belly button before the man in front of her pulled it back into place.

Ignoring the prickle in her cheeks she smiled at him some more, this time in thanks. “So which do you wanna do? Watch Lil’ Asskicker? Or help me cook?”

The look on his face, neck craned back to be able to see her, turned her smile sweet – there was a kind of awed hope there still, that she wasn’t used to – but liked it immediately. 

“Givin’ me a’ job Greene?”

She offered him a hand he didn’t need, to climb to his feet.

“Yep, just ‘cause we got a’ couch now, doesn’t mean you get to turn into a potato.”

He scoffed lightly, picked up his bow, walked quickly to the door and unlocked it, before he followed her back to the kitchen, where Carl was staring sightlessly at the contents of the pantry, Judy propped on a barely there hip.

“Ain’t gonna fix itself more ya look at it.” Daryl quipped lightly, setting his bow against the counter, as Beth leaned passed the youth to pluck out a few things.

She watched him with an uncertain smile as he looked back at the older man, gears obviously turning by the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, Carl cast another quick look to Beth before shrugging and changing his mind on whatever he’d been about to say.

“Guess I’m just missing the protein.” He answered instead, turning his head a little to the side, one eye narrowing a little with the smile he shot Daryl’s way. “Think you’ll be able to go hunting any time soon?”

Beth didn’t entirely know why but she released a slightly held breath, it had seemed like, maybe Carl was about to give her guy a hard time about seeing Beth on his lap, or maybe make some kind of otherwise blush inspiring remark. But thankfully, something had stopped his tongue, and she flashed a grin to him in thanks as Daryl answered, taking Judith to give the teenager’s arms a break.

“Should be able to. Yeah.” The hunter answered with a nod, stooping to blow a ‘moose’ (as he called them) into the squealing girl’s stomach who had apparently guessed his intentions right before he’d done it. “Wanted to wait ‘til the runners got done with their next big haul.”

“When’re they doin’ that again?” A lancing bit of uneasiness went through her at the reminder, she didn’t like her family going with the Alexandrians, not after the way things had gone down last time. 

“Few days.” He answered darkly, and the three of them traded looks, it still didn’t sit well with them the idea of Glenn and the others going without some of their own family’s more experienced scavengers.

“Why’re you waiting until after?” Carl asked after a few moments, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms. “Worried they might try something with some of us gone?”

“Nah.” And she paused in the middle of opening one of the cans for their lunch, feeling his eyes on her. “Just wanna be here if things go tits up.”

There were a couple more traded looks as they all thought about what he’d said.

There always seemed to be another shoe ready to drop these days.

Trick was to be ready when it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this whole them just becoming more comfy with the touching is going to be a thing, I think I said that already, the same is true for at least the next bit though I do think there is some drama coming here in a bit, you know writing ahead of posting can be a bit confusing for these notes...oh well, you've been suitably warned. 
> 
> Feedback is welcome!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in I find I cannot write short physical scenes *sigh*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - You all are awesome, I hope you enjoy this chapter...it uh well just let me know what you think of it if you get the time, you know the drill you amazing bunch of fellow fanatics :) 
> 
> Warning: There is mention of past, not quite consensual, sexual acts in this chapter, it's about halfway through and while it isn't a long description I would say it's mildly graphic so here's a heads up.
> 
> Regardless, or in despite of that, I do wish you all happy reading.

**Chapter 19**

They were good.

For a  _ whole  _ two days.

They went through training, meal times, getting used to the Safe-Zone, and all the while they'd take a few minutes here and there to kiss. At first, he felt pretty fuckin' stupid about it, embarrassed, like he was some half-wit who couldn't control himself. And that just was not an issue he was used to having, controlling himself, at least not in this way.

He'd been known to lash out violently when pressed, but it had been a while since even that had happened. But she'd been right, the more time they were able to squirrel away from the others, not sneaking necessarily, but now and then throughout the day she'd snag his wrist, run a hand across his shoulder blades. And it didn't matter what the hell he'd  _ thought  _ he was going to be doing for the next little clip of time, he'd followed behind her like a junkyard pup, quietly wagging his tail.

It did get easier like she said it would, but it had still been a trial of wills. Each of them working to keep themselves and one another from tipping over an edge they weren't ready for...the thing was though...he was quickly finding he was ready for  _ something _ . Didn't know what specifically, couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the images that had once assaulted his vision.

They were too near to happening, he'd probably go fuckin' blind if he tried to picture that shit right now. Especially right  _ now _ , since she was lying underneath him, hands gripping the biceps that propped him up, his lips on her neck as she pressed her hips against his.

He really  _ had _ been good, kept his dick to himself and everything, for at least a day out of the last two. But this morning, he'd woken to find her lips trailing along one of his arms, hand laying unassumingly on his chest, and he'd kind of snapped.

Not in a bad way, not really, it was just that she'd been touching him so softly. Like she hadn't wanted to wake him up, but hadn't been able to help herself from laying chaste little kisses against the swell of the non-flexed muscle.

His eyes had blinked open, meeting hers after a few dizzy and hazy moments, the sensation so foreign for never having happened before. She'd stilled as he'd tensed, for one wild moment thinking a walker had crawled into bed with him, before his mind was able to put together what the hell he was looking at.

She had taken her hair out of the ponytail and the resulting look was tousled and wild, probably had gotten snarled up while she steamrolled back and forth across the bed last night. He should find it obnoxious, the way she tossed and turned, but she never exactly flailed, didn't move enough at any one time to wake him. 

He  _ was  _ beginning to run a tally as to what position she ended up the most in.

On her stomach, hands shoved under pillows, one leg straight, the other cocked up slightly, was the current winner, but curled on her side facing him, hands tucked under chin, knees nearly touching him - that was a close second.

The air grated out of his throat as she moved her hold to the small of his back, pushing down, encouraging him towards more contact, to move against her the way they both liked him to. He panted out a breath into the soft material of her t-shirt somewhere in the vicinity of her collar bone.

Resting more fully into her, settling in the nock of her thighs, he pushed and rocked, humming at the sound of her quiet gasp. Yeah he was looking for  _ something  _ a little  _ further  _ than 'just kissin' and the way she wrapped a leg around his thigh, held herself to him - met his thrusts - he was willing to bet a backrub she was too.

Which was just another thing that had both helped and tortured him the last two nights, their continued backrubs, everything was a temptation with Beth, everything a chance to show her how much she meant to him, or to possibly fuck the whole thing up.

Hand-to-hand fighting had been going well, she'd lost some of that early hesitation she'd once had when it came to violence. And she was quick,  _ super _ fuckin' quick, made him proud and hard all at once to watch her whip around her opponent - either him or Michonne - and she was learning fast.

Being real good too, any time they were out, she stayed focused (helped him to do the same more often than not) when there was a walker she'd tell him her plan, waiting until he'd acknowledge it in some way before going after it. Not running in, not throwing herself into the fight, being smart, being goddamn beautiful as she took out whatever threat she'd come across.

It was all of this that made it pretty damn difficult to do anything other than keep his hips going in a constant motion with her now, to do  _ anything other _ than bite her lip, her neck, her cloth covered tit. He stilled immediately when she jumped, breath dampening the cloth against his mouth.

"M'sorry." He must have gone a little too far, hadn't given her enough warning. "Should stop."

She didn't even answer him, didn't speak or move her head, reached down between them and worked her shirt free from the vice of their bodies. She had apparently not worn a bra to bed last night, his body chose the moment he laid eyes on her peaked nipples and perfect handful of flesh to go totally rigid.

_ Fuckin' Christ. _

He didn't know what the hell to do, well he knew, but he didn't  _ know _ . She was all milky tints and rosy hues, the latter becoming more prevalent as he gawked at her, as much as his lust narrowed eyes were capable of gawking at the moment. He felt the breath she was about to expel, to say something, apologize or ask him if he were ok, he halted it a bit by dropping his head.

He was back to being some kind of base animal, nuzzling along the warm flesh, breathing in the smells of soap and sweat. Making her breath shiver as his facial hair grazed the soft roundness of her, as his nose bumped into one toughened bud, before opening his mouth and laving a broad tongue over it and drawing a shocked little noise from her throat.

He pulled the textured flesh into his mouth, rolling around it, nicking it with his teeth, feeling her buck into him, clutch at his head as wavering hums vibrated through her and against his sucking lips.

He was moving his face to attend the other perfect mound when she spoke, sounding breathless, nerve wrought, as air flexed through her words making them unstable.

"You don't...have...to." He could barely hear her, not from her volume, but his whole fucking world was revolving around her left nipple at the moment and he could hardly be bothered to focus on her sentences that weren't making any damn kind of sense. "They're not...I know they're..." Her fingers clutched into his hair, pulling until it hurt and he nipped a little harder in response.

He could barely think for the throbbing of his cock and the heat of her fuckin' pussy pressing into him even as he removed his mouth from her tit to kiss along its side, he was gonna set something on fire the amount of friction that was happening between his jeans and her sleep pants.

"Whad'er you sayin'?" She whimpered a little, either from all the contact, or his voice he didn't know, but it had been all of a minute since he'd visited her right tit, and he was pretty sure it was missing him.

He was sucking it gently into his mouth when she tried the words thing again and he paused, lapping distractedly at the sopping little nub to listen.

"My..." And he flickered his eyes up in time to see her motioning vaguely at the chest he'd attached himself to. Her eyes were closed, lips a conch shell pink shine that were almost alluring enough to pull him back to her mouth - almost. "They're..."

Amazing, perfect, delicious, sexy as fuck, soft as sin.

Any of the descriptions would do meager justice but he paused his movements, frowning at her embarrassed expression, her face twisted up like she couldn't think of a word negative enough to describe the little mounds of heaven he was currently hovering over protectively, one hand twisting the beaded nub of her left tit while his whiskers caught and nestled against the other while he waited.

He couldn't blame her for the lack of speech, shit, he suffered from that on the daily, let alone when he was doing these things with her. But he had just about determined that he didn't  _ like _ whatever it was she was attempting to say, seemed like it was going to be derogatory to his new favorite things in the world, and they were  _ his _ now (as long as she let them be) and didn't appreciate anything negative being  _ thought _ about them let alone said aloud.

"I'm not-"

"Gonna say a thing." He growled up at her, catching fogged surprise when her heated blues finally opened to look at him. "'Cause I can tell ya ain't gonna talk sense an' I don' wanna hear it." She blinked at him a couple times, unable or unwilling to go against what he'd said. "Any part of me feelin'  _ disappointed  _ t' you girl?"

And he dipped his mouth to suck a patch of flesh on the underside of her tit between his teeth, humming his victory when she arced into him with a breathy little cry that made him have that proud male feeling again. He didn't let it go too much to his head, considering this was the first time he'd attempted this, and was basing his nonexistent technique on whatever caused her to make the best noises.

"Turn over." His eyebrows knit at her sudden demand, he didn't feel much like going  _ anywhere _ other than side to side at the moment.

"No." He grumbled against her glistening flesh, muttering darkly as she hauled on his shoulders, making him without actually being able to, to roll him onto his back. " _ Why _ ?"

And he actually grinned a little when she smiled at him, he'd sounded a little bit like a teenager told to do his chores right then,  _ but hell _ , he'd been having a great time and it had been clear to  _ even him _ that she was having a great time too. So why the hell was he on his back instead of rubbing his dick raw against his jeans, a nipple in his mouth, and one in his hand?

"Tell me when to stop."

_ Good lord. _

"Beth-"

"Better not say it 'less you mean it though."

He'd never known her less and more than he did right now, hair hanging in tangles and swirls to the tops of her sweat and saliva shining chest, nipples a rosy bruised color that made his mouth all but water at the sight of.

But she was giving him that moonshine smile, and when she looked at him like that...hell, he'd already burnt down a building with her over that smile. Daryl didn't think there was much he  _ wouldn't  _ do for her when she smiled like that.

He managed a nod, a hard swallow, watching without breathing as she reached for the button of his jeans. Fuck sakes, he was nearly over the damn hill in the age department, but right now he sure didn't feel a day over twenty. Not an experienced twenty neither. Twenty year old virgin with the prettiest girl in the world undoing his fly.

He didn't think she was planning to...he hadn't even had a chance to snag a damn rubber from anyone or anywhere because they weren't close to doing that. Except he was pretty worked up enough to do anything she wanted, so that was some short sighted shit on his end.

Part of him wanted to stop her, even as he lifted himself up and stared in half-lidded wonder as both layers of his clothing were shuffled down, and suddenly there was his damn cock, standing up all happy to be included, and he couldn't stop the flush that tumbled down his face and into his throat.

He should stop her, wanted to, but it was all nerves he could tell, there wasn't any of that gut crawling unease he'd felt countless times before. Just didn't seem right, didn't feel like he should like her looking at him like that, keeping her eyes glued to his bobbing dick as she pulled his clothes down and off his flexing toes.

Yeah, he shouldn't like that look at all, definitely shouldn't be about to shoot his load at the sight of it.

Her face was darkening the already pinked tinge of her skin that had been there from their earlier activity, he finally had to suck in a breath, it was either that or pass the fuck out with no pants and a hard-on going. Her gaze locked to his and he did his best to read her expression, trying to find any kind of fear or uneasiness.

She looked nervous, and he didn't know if it was him, or if he was really fucked and it was because she had never in her 19 (ish?) years seen a dick close up. She licked her lips as she looked back down at him and he tensed slightly. There could be  _ no _ way she was planning to do what her mouth  _ looked  _ like it was thinking about doing.

There were steps goddamn it, and sure he'd never adhered to them in his life, but if she hadn't done...then there were steps, important ones, and suddenly he realized he was getting this all wrong. He hadn't even offered...he was such an asshole.

"I should..." He rasped, reaching to hook a finger into her waistband, flinching back when she jerked away from him.

"It's ok." His retreating hand was caught deftly by hers as she leaned in to kiss him. "I wanna, I'd like to touch you first, if it's ok?"

"Why?" And this time the word was gargled through salt water and he had to clear his throat while she answered, leaning in and bumping their noses together.

"Because when ya touch me," and he could feel the heat from her face on his, "I think I want a couple of things to go with it, that you aren't...that  _ we _ aren't ready for."

"Like what?" Him clearing his throat hadn't done a whole lot of good at all.

"I don't wanna wait, after ya...if you use your fingers." She'd dropped her face to hide it in the hollow of his jaw, and for once she might be running as warm as he was. "I want you inside me right after ya do."

" _ Jesus-fuckin'-Christ _ ."

She was trying to kill him, it was obvious to him now, her mouth against his neck, both hands clutching the one of his he'd tried to extract, his knuckles grazing a swaying nipple. Woman was actively trying to stop his heart or get it to explode in his chest.

There were  _ steps  _ goddamn it.

_ Didn't she know nothin'? _

"S'the other thing?" He was finally able to murmur, hand clutching into the bedspread to stop himself from taking hold of his cock that was looking bruised, shining with sweat and pre-cum.

She shook her head a little and he disentangled their hands to weave shaking digits through her pillow mussed hair, drawing her away to look at him.

"C'mon girl, ain't gonna bark atcha whaddaya want?"

"I don't think we should have sex 'til..." She swallowed hard, eyes darting around his face and a little down, like she wanted a glimpse of him hard and waiting for her, like it was going somewhere. "'Til you feel alright with showin' me your back."

He tensed a little, fingers tightening in her hair, loosening as soon as he felt the strands pull tight against his callused skin. She thought he didn't want her to see his back? He'd had no idea she'd been worried about that at all. Of course he didn't  _ like _ to show people his back, it was embarrassing and ugly, kinda like the rest of him, but...

He released her and swung his legs off the bed, frowning when she gripped hard onto his shoulders, holding him down as much as she could.

"It doesn't gotta be soon!" 

And then her thin arms were wrapping around his neck, head lying along the back of his, tits pressing hard into his back, as she tried to stop a man from leaving that never had the inclination to do it in the first damn place.

"S'fine Bri-" He swallowed down her nickname chokingly, damn but he was having a hard time keeping that to himself, it ran through his mind every time he saw her, the entire time they kissed or walked out in the woods. "L'show ya m'back now, but we ain't gotta...I don' mind ya seein'."

Her. 

If it was her, it’d be alright, or at least not as awful.

He worked the buttons of his shirt as he spoke, feeling her arms slide from him as he shrugged off the nearly sweat soaked clothing. He dropped it on the floor and tucked his chin until his hair swung forward so she had a clear view, curling protective wrists around his dully throbbing dick, hunching a little as the silence lengthened.

"I'm gonna say somethin' an' I want ya ta’ try and take it the way I mean it." His brow furrowed at her words, confused until she continued. "I wish…I wish that I could kill him for ya." Heart thumping like it had been when he was grinding against her, he turned to look at her, face blank as he took in the set expression - the sparking blues. "I know it sounds awful, an' I don't want ya to hate me for sayin' but-"

He didn’t know how she knew, maybe the stories had made their way through the group by now, bits and pieces put together about him from things he’d let slip or glimpses people had seen. He didn’t know, and he didn’t much care for the how…

He  _ was _ sure though, that she'd have kept ripping his chest up if he'd have let her, if he hadn't twisted and reached, grabbing her by the back of her head to bring their mouths together. She made a crying noise into him when his tongue worked its way passed her lips, met hers and dragged against it hard.

Fuckin' woman was fierce, strong, so goddamn good and beautiful, that her looking twice at him had never been something that was supposed to happen. Beth was every good thing in life, let alone  _ his _ life, and she had  _ such _ a skewed view of their dynamic. Seemed to think that he had the upper hand or something, or that they were even on equal footing, which wasn't what it felt like to him at all.

He would run himself haggard, go through whatever mental or physical trauma bullshit he had to, if it meant getting to touch her, be near her. He'd follow along attached to her apron strings, even if she never wanted him to, he was Beth Greene's bitch - and he didn't fuckin' mind not one bit.

Hell, he'd killed for this woman, would do it again without a thought, if she were the kind - she could wield him like a weapon - aim him at her enemies and shoot. She thought he'd find it fucked up? Her saying she'd like to murder his sonofabitch old man? Why? He actually  _ had  _ killed the bitch that'd hurt her, the fuck was he gonna do? Get pissy because his dad was blood? What kind of blood did that to their own?

All of these thoughts wound through his mind as he rolled them onto their sides.

And maybe it should bother him that that’s where her mind went these days when it never used to, not before Grady, but it was a pretty shitty world they lived in now and he needed her tough as she could be, couldn’t lose her, not now – not ever. And anyway, he’d heard her sing, she still had that Beth sweetness, it was just wrapped real safe in a cloak of thorns.

He slid his hands up a back that’d never felt the lick of a belt, dug his fingers into shoulders that had never felt the cut of an old pocket knife. He wanted to touch, taste, and see every single bit of her, wanted to spend days doing it. She whimpered into his mouth as his tongue worked hers and his hands worked her muscles. He was laying buck ass naked on a bed in the nicest house he’d ever stepped foot in, with a woman who touched him when he wanted and stopped when he asked, and he…

He didn’t even know this feeling.

She pressed against his shoulder and he rolled without complaint, watching in disbelief even after everything, as she moved to settle in between his spread legs, making the prettiest mental picture he’d ever been blessed enough to have.

“I never.” She jerked a chin at his dick, such a constant ache at this point he’d nearly forgotten it was there. “Never wanted anythin’ to go this far before.”

_ Yep. Fucked. Yep. _

“So ya ain’t never?...” He didn’t know how to finish that, there were so many nevers to ask about with that one. 

She shook her head, shuffling around until she lay on her stomach, inching her elbows along his inner thighs, giving him a good look over. He had no idea how to handle this, his shoulders were trembling, trying to hunch and hide him, even as he didn’t want to miss a single inquisitive look she was giving him.

Beth’s eyes met his and she smiled shyly. “Sorry, don’t mean ta’ be awkward or anythin’.”

“S’fine.” He graveled out, clearing his throat once again. “Ain’t never done this either.”

There, this way, he did something stupid – he’d warned her – and maybe it’d make her feel better. That she wasn’t the only one that had no idea what they were doing.

“Really?” She blinked at him in surprise from around the side of his pulsing cock, and he had to close his eyes for a moment before he could nod. “Why?”

He shook his head a bit before looking back down at her. “Seemed…” He struggled with the concept clacking around his skull, it didn’t make sense if you didn’t grow up the way he had, seen what he had. “Rude.” He forced the word out, even though it wasn’t quite right. “Mean.”

He’d seen women wanting some of his brother’s or his brother’s friends’ product, drugs, merchandise, whatever you wanted to call it. He’d seen them gagging and crying while sweat and dirt covered men thrusted grunting into their mouths. Had to clean up their vomit afterwards, watched them slink away looking broken. So anytime Merle reminded him that there was ‘more than one way of getting your dick wet’ he’d blatantly refused, begged off, cracked a shitty joke, but ultimately avoided it. 

The only ways Daryl had ever got rid of that obnoxious itch was from behind the woman, or with his face pressed along a faceless throat, doing what he could to get them both off before barely taking the time to pull up his pants and get the fuck outta Dodge.

But right now Beth Greene was giving him this real soft look, like she was seeing everything going on inside his head, she was watching an old VHS tape through his eyes on hers. And when she looked away to raise a carful hand and wrap it around his length, he couldn’t stop the hissing gut-punch of a breath at the feeling.

Finely boned fingers stroked down to his base, making his nerve endings fire like mad, but stuttered back up before stopping. A frown curved down her lips as she ran into the issue of there  _ for once _ being too much friction. She flicked nervous eyes up to him as his nostrils flared, and he did his best not to pant like a trailer park mutt. 

His fists were clenched against his hips and he was determined to keep them there no matter what happened. He  _ would not _ tangle his gnarled fingers into those silken strands while she had her mouth on him. His fuckin’ hips  _ would stay _ stuck to this mattress like they’d been stitched to it.

She flashed another look at him and he could tell she had a question she was too bashful to ask, but the best he could offer has an inquiring grunt. She opened her mouth to speak, twisted her grip a little thoughtfully and stilled when a sound like rock chips in a grinder came out of his throat.

It should be awful, the fumbling, and here he was not being able to get enough of it. Every touch from Beth was amazing, every uncertain look, and movement of pursed lips, was something else that raced through his cock, shot through his balls, and straight up his spine like a fuckin’ fire cracker – he wouldn’t be surprised if she could see the sparks in his irises, the smoke rolling from his mouth.

“How the heck do guys get hand jobs?” She asked, obviously perturbed, and he released a gusting snort that wasn’t in any way proportionate to what she’d asked, but his lungs were holding on for dear life like the rest of him, so he let it go. 

He couldn’t even speak, just gestured towards the head, nodding when she raised herself up to look at it from a better angle, blinking at the glistening skin found there. Her only response was to hum a little at the sight, before dropping down to lick across the slit, eyes maybe on him as he released a groan.

He wouldn’t know. 

His own eyes had fused themselves closed.

She was wrecking him with her little hums, like he was rolling his thumbs against her trap muscles, tongue flicking out here and there from base to top, making his arms bunch and flex until he thought he might not be able to load his bow the next time he tried. 

Her mouth sinking down over his throbbing length got him a hairs breadth away from breaking the second rule he’d set for himself. Hips twitching forward, trying to chase the wet warmth that killed the air in his lungs, before he reined them back down. Cursing profusely, he wasn’t even able to keep the string of profanity inside his own fool head.

“I hurt you?” He shook his head at her question, opening his clenched lids to see her, kneeling above the cock that was aimed straight at her mouth, glistening almost halfway down with her saliva. “Ya gonna walk me through this at all Daryl?”

Her tone was near teasing once she realized he wasn’t in a bad kind of pain, smile starting when he again shook his head, this time harder. He couldn’t words right now. Might not be able to words for a long  _ long _ time after this either.

Somehow his own awkwardness seemed to make her happy, fine sure, what the fuck ever made her feel better was fine by him. Because he couldn’t offer much else besides it, didn’t think there was anything left but  _ that _ inside him.

He watched this time, long enough to see her roll her tongue around his head, but his eyes snapped shut again when she sucked just a little bit of him into her mouth. And then she was gliding him in across her tongue, sucking him inside her, and it hurt just a little and he wanted to tell her to ease up but was unable to do more than formulate the thought.

She’d added a hand to his base, doing her best to get all of him in along her tongue, he’d never felt anywhere near as big as he did in Beth Greene’s tiny mouth and hands. Tried to catch the thought that these weren’t the only aspects of her that would be tight for him. She was moving enthusiastically and each jabbing bit of pain was so swamped in pleasure that he’d just about decided it was something he could live with, when she lessened her pressure and suction. 

“Mhmmm.” He was surprised at his own ability to make  _ any _ kind of noise, of being able to repeat it and nod when she made a little inquiring sound that sent vibrations down his shaft fit to kill him.

She picked up speed, continuing her little humming noises, probably being able to tell he’d liked it by the moan that hadn’t been cut off quick enough, he was trying to remember there were still people in the house with them. Maybe, he couldn’t tell what time it was with his eyes closed.

When Beth removed her hand and took him deeper inside, he cracked, hips jutting up into her mouth, cock brushing the back of her throat, she made a small choking noise and his eyes flew open to check on her. She looked at him in surprise, shocking the fuck out of him when she quickly did the motion again, and again his hips disobeyed his direct fucking orders and popped up to knock her lips into his pubic hair. 

_ Sto-woah-fuck. _

He was trying to open his mouth to say something (he was almost sure) but instead, a grating grunt was expelling from him again and again, losing all ability to process thought when a small hand gathered up one of his fisted ones and put it into her tangled hair.

Yeah he lasted about a second after that, that steady pressure that had been clenching at the base of his spine released for the first time in a  _ long _ time and he felt the panic that accompanied the release.

“ _ Move _ .” He grated, eloquent as fuck, trying to flex his disobedient hips in, to yank her away without hurting her, but she just made a more stubborn humming noise which managed to totally set him off directly down her throat. “ _ Beth _ , Christ.”

Her gasping joined his after a couple of careful swallows, he watched in fascination as she took careful steadying breaths, before licking a little lazily at a few drops of slowly sliding liquid from his now twitching shaft. Her cheeks were flushed in those cherry blossom hues he was a rabid fan of, and when she looked up at him, he was thrilled and terrified by the look of satisfaction she was giving him.

“I did a  _ good _ job.” She murmured happily against his slowly softening cock, like they were best friends and she was telling it secrets. Well fuck, he guessed that was close enough to the truth, it was obviously  _ real _ fond of her after all.

“C’mere.” He could barely get the words through his throat, motioning her as insistently as he was able to right now. Heart caterwauling in its cage, even as his marrow filled with a sweet sinking led that had his bones floating underneath his skin. “How’n the hell you do that?”

She crawled carefully up until she fit herself under his arm, head on her spot between his shoulder and chest, his fingers gliding thankful strokes down her bare spine and back. He felt her shrug into him before she answered, sounding as though she hadn’t really thought about it before.

“Don’t have much of a gag reflex I guess.” 

He stilled immediately, fogged mind attempting to clear. “You fuckin’ w’me?”

She gave a surprised huff of laughter before digging quick fingers into his side. “I’m not tryin’ to be sexy here Daryl.” She chastised lightly, snuggling into him when he’d flexed her against him due to her pinching assault. “Just always been that way, never really thought much about it.”

“Gonna be the  _ only _ thing I can.” He half groused, mind already trying to whir with ideas, maybes, and ifs, while his body seemed to find a new level of settle, molding itself to the sheets against his back.  

“You liked it a lot huh?” She asked quietly, and he could hear the smile there, the pride, tinged with just a certain amount of want that nagged at him.

_ She deserves to feel this way… _

“Ya should let me.” Not quite finishing the thought, he did the impossible and moved physically, turning them until her back was flat and her head was pillowed by his forearm, his free hand landing light and unthreateningly on her stomach. “Let me take care of ya.”

He offered an embarrassingly lack of fight when she pushed lightly on his shoulder, managing to return them to their prior position.

“You do take care of me.” His sigh was a mostly happy one when she brushed her lips against his ear and spoke the words that he liked her saying, even if he didn’t fully agree with them right now. “I’m happy ya let me do that Daryl.”

He shivered, didn’t much care how it made him look, girl was mind fucking him like a pro, he couldn’t fend her off if he tried, and he was far too weightless to try. He could chalk this up to one more thing he’d never experienced before or after an orgasm, a complete lack of self-loathing or disgust, no real anxiety in sight – just his girl laying against him, his arm wrapped tight around her half naked body.

This was happy.

She pulled herself up a little, and he cracked a peek at her in question. “Kiss me.” 

_ Done _ .

“Kay.” She deepened the action immediately, sliding passed his lips and he groaned at the taste of him still wrapping around her tongue. He cupped her face with too large hands, holding her in place, licking all the saltiness from her that he could. “You want me t’ rub yer back or anythin’?”

He had to do something, even as he felt himself about ready to pass out from the combinations of fleeing adrenaline, orgasm, and contentedness.

“No, but I want ya to roll over so I can rub yours.” 

Now that did  _ not _ seem right. 

But…

Arguing with her right now seemed like an ability he currently lacked.

“Alrigh’.” At least his murmur had the decency to sound embarrassed.

“Gosh you  _ sure _ are agreeable after I do that.” Christ, he couldn’t even manage a semi-believable glare as he paused in his roll to kiss her soundly once again. “Hmmm, guess I’ll need to do that again sometime.”

He managed an agreeing grunt, his mind too peaceful to think about the way her hands passed over his scarred back, sweeping down it once or twice – before rubbing easy circles into his muscles and humming some song he didn’t recognize under her breath as she did.

He fell asleep in about half a minute.

When he woke later, he was still on his stomach, hands mostly asleep and tingling with blood loss from their awkward angle. Everything flooded back to him like a cresting wave and he whipped his head to her side of the bed, stilling instantly when he found her there sleeping. 

She’d put her shirt back on, but was curled on her side facing him, fists tucked up under her chin, knees brushing just above his knee on his lower thigh. He marked another tally mark in his head, tying up the two positions in his mind. He looked back at the clock and stalled out a bit, it was eleven, he hadn’t gotten out of bed at eleven since…since all-nighters at the prison had him catching up on rest. And even then…eleven…Jesus.

Moving his head to look at her once more he debated for a moment before sidling up close to her across the mattress, dragging a sleep deadened hand to move flyaway bits of hair from her face. It wasn’t long before she blinked awake, taking a moment or two to understand what had woken her, before smiling and rubbing her cheek into his palm.

“S’late?” She whispered, and then sighed when he nodded his confirmation. “Fine.”

“Ain’t gotta get up.” Letting go on the idea of being able to clear the rumble from his throat, he continued. “I’mma go getcha some breakfast, jus’ wait alrigh’?”

Lips twitching, Daryl watched the wide smile that slinked along her mouth until he saw teeth flashing at him. So fine, he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was ‘whipped’ like Merle would have said, crowed about, and given him shit for. It’d take an idiot not to do right by this girl after the morning she’d given him.

“ _ Real _ agreeable.” And pressing a quick kiss to his palm, she snuggled up in the blankets and shut her eyes again. 

He watched her for a moment, before removing his hand and climbing his naked ass to a deliciously taught standing position, stretching out his tightened muscles before gathering his clothes to dress. There was an appreciative little humming sound, and his eyes cut to see hers on him, making him flush and flounder while he pulled on his pants and did up his fly.

“We goin’ trainin’ today?” She asked after a moment, maybe to clear his blush, or maybe because she had more things planned for him, and didn’t want to worry about sticking to their out-of-wall rules.

“Nah, why?” Her shrug didn’t answer much, one way or another, her eyes clocking his movements to button up his shirt with the least amount of fumbling possible. “Don’ think I’d be able to put up no proper fight against ya Greene.” He teased, mouth pulling up a little on one side as she gave him a cheeky little grin that made him think about forgetting breakfast and climbing back into bed with her.

“You never could  _ Mr. Dixon _ .”

He huffed out a breath as he turned to make it out of the room and put some distance between himself and that mischievously curving mouth, muttering under his breath just loud enough for her to hear as he did.

“ _ Good lord _ .”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh - uh let me know peeps.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone dies, someone goes back on their word, and someone freaks. So lots of someones and drama, the regular.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Bethyl bless you wonderful people, thank you so much for the support on that nerve wracking last chapter. So this is going to be the last update for FotW for, I am thinking two weeks, if I can get them going sooner I will. I was going to try and get another one out Saturday before I left but I'm not a comfortable amount ahead of you guys anymore lol so I apologize about that not happening.
> 
> So quick reminder that I'm still (mostly) following the show - so drama lies ahead in this chapter.
> 
> I wish you all happy reading, and I will miss you all when I'm gone!

**Chapter 20**

Everything fell apart so quickly.

One minute, she was in bed with her guy, having the most amazing time, surprising the both of them with her confidence. The next, all hell was breaking loose and people were dead, a member from each group. Aiden and Noah, gone so quick, just like all the others in her life had been recently, their new world didn’t really offer the chance, or torture, of a slow death.

She’d sat with Maggie until Glenn had finished giving his account of events to a mourning Deanna, had hugged her brother-in-law with all the strength in her, felt his answering pressure keeping her tethered, before they parted and she waved them on to spend some time together.

She went to the infirmary first, to visit an unconscious Tara, motioning a morose Eugene back into his chair when he made to leave at the very sight of her entering. The two sat in silence for a while, Rosita and the surgeon who was Jessie’s husband Pete, coming in and out as the hours passed.

“I am most sorry for your loss.” Her breath came in a surprised little jerk and she turned to look at the man who’d been sitting quietly next to her. “I was not too close to him myself but I am aware that the two of you shared a bond.”

She was able to offer a trembling smile and shaky nod, doing her best not to start sobbing, knowing easily how that’d go over with the socially inept scientist. She sat there with him a small time longer before her chest started to constrict and clench, offering him a whispered goodbye, she made her way quickly from the room.

She didn’t much see which way she’d chosen to go, just kept walking on one of the paths that circled the community, stopping once she’d reached the little gazebo, bracing herself on one of the railings and struggling through the weight on her ribs. The grain of the wood felt solidly real under her hands, and she focused on it as her lungs quit struggling and her mind began to clear.

It felt too similar, the panic just then, like something from Grady was crawling up her shins trying to get at her heart. But it couldn’t. She sighed a little in relief, because her core wasn’t wrapped in fog and fire anymore. Those things were still there, but time and something more tangible had inserted themselves in between her fundamental self and the forces yearning to rend her to pieces.

“Ya’lrigh’?” She barely took the time to look before she threw herself at him, not questioning how he’d found her, or if he’d be ok with the sudden forceful contact.

Daryl was of course the other thing that had helped keep the negative things at bay, had stood watch inside her and glared, cursed, and fought back the scrabbling darkness that hoped to snuff the light and life from her. And he’d done it even as she tried to help those malicious powers along herself. She didn’t care if he decided he couldn’t handle their relationship _tomorrow_ , she’d stick with Daryl Dixon until the day one of them died.

His arms came around her, resting on her shoulders as they usually did, but she could feel the tenseness that coiled throughout him. After just a moment he released her, jerking a darkened gaze towards the bench tucked into the small structure, and she eyed him uncertainly before she complied. He was obviously on edge, like she was, but there was something more than losing a member of their group.

He whipped off his bow and sat himself perched on the edge of the wooden seat, weapon propped within easy reach, as she sat carefully next to him. She was having a hard time reading him, didn’t like that she was either, if she didn’t know better she’d say he was mad but…Beth ran through the events of the day, maybe he was mad about not being on the run, or blaming the Alexandrians for being a bunch of unprepared children who’d gotten two people killed with their inability to coordinate a more secure run.

Or maybe…

Her brows furrowed as he continued to sit next to her in silence, was he mad at her? The morning they’d shared rolled through her memory and she tried to shake away the flare of heat the memories inspired. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that, but she had to admit it bothered her rather sharply the idea of him being mad at her after what they’d done. Not that he wasn’t allowed to ever be angry at her again, but by God if he _were_ mad he better get quick with the talking thing.

They hardly had anything between them anymore when it came to barriers, she’d thought anyway, he’d shown her his back for cripes sake. She had moved her fingers over every inch of his gash-healed flesh well after the point of him falling asleep, feeling her own arousal ease into a low murmur as she had. Being with him, it was like blinking, the pound of her heart, lilt in her voice, she didn’t have to think about it.

Didn’t need to worry or be constantly aware of everything when they were touching one another like she had with the other romantic partners she’d had. There was no policing needed with Daryl, he wanted her, she’d seen, felt, and tasted the product of that want, but he didn’t push or wheedle like those boys had. Not bad people, Jimmy and Zach, just young and impatient, and at the end of the day she didn’t know if she’d ever have slept with either of them.

Her eyes flicked to the silently brooding man next to her, she hadn’t known her body could have a reaction to another human being like hers did to his. It wasn’t even a question of _if_ or _when_ she was going to sleep with Daryl, but _how_ many times and what level of _force_ she could look forward to.

In one of those rare occasions, she didn’t feel the urge to fill the silence, she wasn’t sure which part of this terrible day had him wound up tight, but he’d get around to telling her or he wouldn’t. She couldn’t be the one to start first every time, his heat rolled into her like a furnace, and she took the time just to be grateful he was living and nearly vibrating with life next to her.

She thought about Noah and felt another wave of sadness crest over the top of her. She’d nearly died a couple of times trying to keep him safe. And who knew, maybe if she _had_ died at the hospital, events would have gone differently and he wouldn’t have been killed today. Or maybe she’d only delayed the inevitable…

If she had…if she _had_ died at the hospital.

Her breakfast granola bar surged around her stomach at the idea. Her shoulders hunched slightly and she glanced again to the quiet man at her side. Light shown off the tops of his shoulders and the dull and dirtied white of his wings, he was curled forward a little, elbows resting on his knees and staring at nothing but the greenery and steel that lay on the other side of the gazebo.

It had come very close to her never walking out of Grady, only Daryl’s instincts and quick reflexes had saved her. And she’d have died to what? Buy Noah a couple months of life? To insure one way or another that Dawn didn’t see another sun filled Georgia day?

At the cost of _what_?

She’d have lost her sister, her family…her _Daryl_ . He’d have…she swallowed hard at the bile raising in her throat, he’d have been right there to watch her die, probably been the one to carry her lifeless body from the building…And what would they have even been able to _do_ with her body if she…She’d be one more person they lost, that _he_ lost.

Never would’ve gotten the chance to lay hands on him like she had, never felt his stubble along her lips and chin, or licked along the seam of his mouth to taste the smoky earthiness of him. She wouldn’t have woken this morning to the sunlight casting golden hues on his skin, body rolled bronze and silver scar, and when he woke – meeting her eyes like he’d never seen anything so wondrous in all his life.

Looking like he’d never been so scared and happy all at once.

“Ya talk to Carol?” Thoughts stalling out, she had to take a moment before muttering a no to his waiting back. “She’s buddied up with a lot a’ the women here, says one of ‘em told her Nicholas ain’t sayin’ the same story Glenn is.”

“ _What_?” All the implications of that flew through her mind and she saw him nod, obviously knowing he didn’t need to fill her in on what that could mean for them. “That why…why you’re mad?”

His head twitched to the side before he sat back enough to look at her. “I _got_ somethin’ else?” He frowned more heavily when she didn’t answer. “Somebody do somethin’ to ya?”

“No ‘course not.” She replied quickly, shaking her head.

“Say somethin’ to ya?”

“No.”

“Rest of the group alrigh’?”

“Far as I know yeah.” His face screwed up a little as he considered her and then seemingly mollified with her answers, he relaxed enough to press his back into the bench like she was doing.

“Hell else I’d be mad about?”

She held his eyes for a moment or two before shaking her head a little. “Just, was thinking about Noah.” He dipped his head once in answer as she continued. “Thinkin’…thinkin’ how much worse it’d be if…if I hadn’t made it out of Grady.” She wouldn’t have even needed to be looking at him to know he’d stiffened, she swore she could feel that kinda thing _in the air_ when it happened now. “If you hadn’t of saved me…how, how much ya’d probably be hatin’ me right now, tryin’ ta’ save someone I barely knew, only to have this happen right after.”

“Don’ think about it.” His voice was that cracking kind of gravel when he could barely get the words out, and she saw the tightness that pulled at his lips and eyes.

“But Daryl-”

“You’da died, I’da been too fucked up t’ even _think_ about hatin’ ya.”

She should stop, he was looking at her right now like she was stitching her name though the stuttering tissues of his heart. Felt like another being that kept moving her mouth, some base part of her that _needed_ to know more, even as it hurt him to tell.

“Even then? Before?”

Before everything, backrubs and kissing, heated flesh and moaning throats, before they even _knew_ how desperately their skin, minds, and chests would beg for that closeness they’d barely begun to grasp during their time at the funeral home. Maybe she _was_ sick, maybe was and had always been, some horrible sick twisted person…

_“Tellin’ me I’d miss your ass when you was gone…”_

How the hell could he care about someone that did this to him every time? Wanted to crack him open and peer inside at all his broken bits, see what made them topple and crumble the way they did. Prod at the things that caused him pain just for some kind of affirmation, some kind of proof and validation for herself.

_“…the fuck kinda person has t’ twist the knife in the wound like that?”_

Beth watched as Daryl tracked the lines of her face, glanced off her own silvery scars, still mostly pink in their newness. How he lingered on her mouth and finally stuck to her eyes, looking pained and uncomfortable, his hands rubbing steadily against one another.

“Be worse.” He rasped finally, unable to hold her gaze once he’d started talking. “T’lose ya now…lot worse. I’da never…what’s happenin’ now wouldn’a even…” Head shaking in irritation, he rolled his shoulders in a shrug, giving up on the words that wouldn’t work for him when he needed them to. “But I knew…I knew.” His eyes moved to catch hers again. “Knew losin’ you was gonna wreck me, _way_ b’fore that goddamn shine shack.”

She was glad he didn’t tense or pull away when she leaned in to kiss him, nothing more than a hard desperate pressing of her mouth to his, but she had to do something, to show how much those hard won words meant to her. How much she appreciated his ability to appease that entity in her that needed to know the things he wanted to talk about least – think about never.

When she moved away after a few moments more, he swept his eyes across her face a final time, before nodding and climbing to his feet. She followed him up, walking wordlessly at his side as they headed home, arms brushing now and then. The heaviness of the day and their talk still sending jabbing shoots of pain through her now and then, but it was manageable and that was what mattered right now.

If she could just hold on until it wasn’t so fresh she’d be ok –

“Headin’ out with Aaron t’night, just t’ scout aroun’ the Safe-Zone a bit.” His quiet words pulled her up short and she literally stopped walking, they were only a hard throw from their front porch. His awareness being what it was, he’d only taken a step ahead when he turned to look at her, face carefully neutral, eyes slightly narrowed.

“Am I comin’?” She could feel a litany of arguments piling one after another against the back of her teeth until he nodded his head.

Even with the movement though, something tickled along her Daryl senses. He was gripping his bow strap harder than necessary, and there was definitely something else he was working out how to tell her. He shuffled slightly, not as bad as he used to, a slight rocking and adjusting of feet that would have looked perfectly casual to someone who didn’t know him as well.

“Gonna go lookin’ fer people day after next.” He supplied when he realized she was waiting for the information she knew him to have. “Like it if ya stayed here.”

“You said-”

“Know what I said woman.” He groused, not quite snapping, but she could tell the topic was making him uncomfortable. “Don’ got a good feelin’ ‘bout it alrigh’?”

“All the more reason for me to come with ya.” She wondered vaguely, as she clenched her fists and lifted her chin at him in challenge, if she’d always been this stubborn or if prolonged exposure to him was affecting her. “Been trainin’ an’ they still haven’t gotten the stuff for the garden. You _really_ tellin’ me ya’d rather have Aaron at your back instead a’ me?”

She was handling this wrong…some distant part of her psyche warned her. There had to be a good reason for him to all of a sudden want her to stay here, he wasn’t just being some kind of jerk…

“You hear that shit comin’ outta my mouth?” Ok so _now_ he was snapping. “Ain’t enough that I ask ya t’ stick aroun’ the walls? You gotta bust my balls about it too?”

She didn’t know why, as her pulse upped its pace and her eyes closed to slits, but her mind flew back to this morning once again and she wondered how this step further in their relationship was causing this change in their reactions to one another. He’d gone from not being able to handle her out of sight or reach, to wanting her benched behind the high walls of the Safe-Zone.

She didn’t deserve this, she’d been working (for an admittedly short time) to show him she could be a capable fighter and hunter, so that he wouldn’t find it necessary to do exactly what he was right now. Leaving her behind. And a nasty irrational voice in her head said it had something to do with what she’d done for him this morning, it had hindered her somehow, had detracted from his view of her as a partner.

It made her feel, wrong, dirty – no matter how trite the term sounded in her head – and she felt her eyes burn, but she wouldn’t burst into tears like some child throwing a tantrum. Without a word she walked around him, legs eating up the sidewalk between her and the house, air gusting through her nose as the stairs got closer from her long legged movements.

He wanted to go back on what he’d said then that was just fine.

Her logic was warring with her insecurities. The calmer part of her was replaying the conversation they’d _just_ had in the gazebo. Apparently this new development was making it necessary for her to hear his pain laced words once again.

Flinging the front door open she didn’t bother closing it behind her, bypassing a few of her clustered family without saying a word as she made for the steps. Pausing on the first one before remembering she’d been running another load of laundry this morning before everything had gotten so crazy.

Spinning around, she caught a glimpse of him filling the open doorway, ignoring what he chose to do, she headed for the laundry room. It had nothing to do with her actions this morning, she was being ridiculous, she’d seen the look on his face – after and then again when he’d woken her after they’d fallen back asleep. The man obviously was just trying to deal with all the emotions that came along with what they were doing.

Hell, had she not cried stupid happy tears as she’d gotten ready in the minutes after they’d finished eating breakfast together? In the bathroom, cheeks shining and mouth curving up hard like an idiot, who had even _heard_ of a girl having that reaction after giving their first blowjob?

She was just as shaken up about this relationship as he obviously was, she knew all this, but it still didn’t stop her from being pissed off as hell at him anyway.

Didn’t stop that niggling ugly little voice either, made her second-guess what she swore she already knew better than anything else. And she half blamed him for that as well. She went storming into the laundry room, slammed open the drier door, before pulling out the cooled cloth in order to pile it up on top of the machine. He knew the things that got to her, they knew what drove the other crazy, even if they ignored it half the time and chose to poke the bear in any case.

 _His_ choice was making her feel weak, even if she shouldn’t be letting it.  

She didn’t hear him come in the room behind her, not until the door slid closed quietly with a snap. He stayed silent, and she worked to even her breathing as she moved the wet clothes over from the washer and slammed the drier door closed, leaning around the small mountain of fresh garments to start the drum going. She was forcefully folding clothes when he finally spoke.

“Ain’t even gonna be gone a whole day.” Her temper might be different now too, she mused slightly as she had to restrain her reflex to scream or slam her hands on the innocuously tumbling drier.

She really wanted to tell him _exactly_ what he could do with that placating unobtrusive tone. She could just imagine him behind her, broad shoulders barely fitting in the space the small room provided, arms crossed tightly, muscles bulging and covered in whatever dirt he’d managed to pick up today.

“Pretty sure that’s what Noah said to me this mornin’.” It was slightly harsh maybe, but honestly not far from the truth, and the knowledge made her terrified and furious all at once.

“M’not Noah.” His tone was flat, just stating a fact, but it made her shake her head angrily as she continued making barely controlled movements to organize the clothes she’d already folded. Not being able to stop herself from slamming the washer lid down to give her more room to work in.

“Doesn’t matter how _tough_ ya are when there’s a’ bunch of walkers Daryl,” she shoved the folded clothes onto the washer lid, almost sending them right onto the floor, “don’t you _frickin’_ talk to me like I’m some Alexandrian that don’t know any better.”

The resulting silence only served to ratchet up her nerves and panic stricken anger, he was going to leave her here, something terrible was going to happen, and she swore _to God_ she would _never_ not _ever_ forgive him for dying – not now – not when she…

A hand slid across her stomach, jerking her mind away from her current trail of thought, without thinking she dropped the shirt in her hands and slammed an elbow into the arm attempting to wrap around her. It dropped immediately and she spun, near panting, catching his startled expression before his face blanked and he stilled.

This was her fault she never should have…her mind reeled beyond panic or reason…the steps that had led her to this moment seemingly only connected to the most orienting event she’d had recently, which was them in bed this morning. She’d done that with him and it made him decide he was better off going without her. And he was actually going to try and _touch_ her now, knowing full well it could be the last time he did?

“I never would have done that.” She could hear the tears in her voice, the barely controlled sob as she continued. “Never would have done that to you. If I’d…I’d known it’d make ya treat me like…like I wasn’t good for nothin’ but… _suckin’ your dick_.” Her voice broke finally and she moved quickly around him, escaping upstairs to their room and slamming the door with a clicking lock to follow.

It took her a long time to calm down, ignoring the worried knocking from her sister and Carol, curled up sitting in a corner as tears slid unending down her face, pattering silently onto the knees of her jeans that were drawn against her chest. The adrenaline from her fight or flight reflex wore out eventually, and her head started working out things in a carefully logical way without letting the detachment get a hold.

She’d been scared, not of him, never _of_ him. That should have been the first thing she said but she’d been…he hadn’t made her feel like Gorman was touching her. But the thought that that might be the last time she ever felt…God she just couldn’t, not after this day, losing Noah and hearing that Nicholas was lying, which could only mean trouble for their family, and then he was telling her he was leaving her here and…

Awful wasn’t quite a strong enough word for how she felt, not only for what she’d said, but for the fact that she was letting the very _thought_ of losing him tear her up so bad. She didn’t want to be the girl that fell apart if she lost her man, she wanted to be the kind that fought through the pain and kept going. She wanted that for herself, she wasn’t just some appendage of his, her existence dependent on their connection…

All that aside though, like he’d said about losing _her_ , Daryl being taken from her would wreck everything she had. Bust her to pieces, make her sweep up the jagged slices, that’d cut to put back in place. It seemed in a way that they were moving fast with their relationship, but then in another way, it was like they were moving terribly – painfully – slow. _Too_ slowly for this world they lived in, she wanted years with him, wanted decades.

Finally she climbed to her feet and moved to the bed, the sun had set and night was making a moseying appearance, ray by lost ray. She thought about going back downstairs but didn’t feel like getting the looks or questions that’d come with it. Thought about going to find him, but he’d no doubt be gone with Aaron by now. Rolling to her back she blinked sightlessly at the ceiling, hoping to come up with some kind of a game plan for what she’d say to him when she did see him.

Though Lord only knew when that’d be, she wouldn’t be overly surprised if he chose to sleep out on the porch after how she’d reacted, after what she’d said. He’d been about to wrap his arms around her probably, and she’d lashed out at him, basically a worst case scenario for someone that’d been through the things Daryl had. She released a long winded sigh, could things just not calm down long enough for them to have some peace? For them to have a day that wasn’t the world’s largest emotional rollercoaster.

As night rolled in and he still didn’t come knocking, she considered changing into her night clothes but decided against it…wasn’t safe enough without him in here with her…a sudden pang shot through her chest at the thought of spending the night without him in their bed. Of waking up during the night to switch position, and not see him steady like a rock, usually in the same spot he’d fallen asleep in.

She rolled to the edge of the bed and got her feet underneath her, making her way quickly to the door she unlocked and opened it without a sound. He’d be on the porch, she could try her best to get him back upstairs with her, but she couldn’t force him, couldn’t hound him, they were both a little raw after today and getting in his face about it was not the way to go.

She was making the turn on the switchback stairs, squinting in the low light when she collided with a very solid mobile tree of some sort. That knocked her sprawling on her butt against the stairs she’d just finished going down. Looking up in surprise she got the impression of a shaggy head and broad shoulders before any real alarm could set in and she sighed in relief.

“ _Fuck_.” He muttered lowly after realizing the same lack of threat. “Beth?”

“Present.” Her whispered reply was met with a decidedly awkward silence, and she winced a little as she climbed to her feet and was met with a hooded look of glinting eyes and furrowed brow.

“Thought you’d be in bed.” His tone was noncommittal even as it growled out in the near silence of the house.

“I was.” She looked around for a moment like he did when she answered, his eyes moved to trail down the clothes she’d been wearing all day before coming back to her gaze.

“Yer still in jeans.”

“Didn’t feel safe ta’ change, ya know, without you…with me.” Her lips pursed as his eyes skittered away from her in the dark, obviously not knowing what to do with that information considering their earlier interaction.

“Whad’re ya doin’ out here then? If you was in bed?”

She thought that’d be rather obvious, but again, rough day for the both of them.

“Came lookin’ for you.” She supplied, taking a hesitant half-a-step towards him. “Were _you_ comin’ to bed?” Offering a gesture towards his placement on the steps as her reasoning, she frowned when he shook his head.

“S’gonna come say sorry, get m’stuff outta yer way.” She opened her mouth to say something, probably a loud panicked something, before their location hit her.

“C’mon.” She grabbed up his hand without thinking and tugged him up the steps behind her, not for the first time that week.

Flicking the room’s light on as she entered, she dropped his hand only to close the door behind him. She had time to register that he didn’t have his bow, that his face looked haggard, before he was speaking.

“Didn’ mean t’ scare ya like that.”

“Daryl you-”

“Wasn’ thinkin’…s’my fault.” She opened her mouth to make him stop but he plowed through, face mostly hidden behind his hair. “But I don’…ya doin’ that this mornin’.” He shook his head hard, sending brown locks flying enough for her to catch the redness of his face. “Ain’t make me think bad of ya, I did…” He stumbled a little over his words, hands clenching at his sides when he picked back up. “I _did_ like it.”

She’d sidled up to him slowly, feeling the tension coming off him like sound from a speaker, he’d seemed to have worked himself up to saying what he was, and she wanted to interrupt him, tell him she hadn’t got scared the way he thought, _said_ what she had for why he thought either.

But he was still trying to get the rest of it out.

“Don’ wantcha comin’ with us ‘cause a’ _me_ , can’ think with ya bein’ close righ’ now. S’not safe…” He swallowed like there wasn’t a drop of moisture in his throat. “But I don’ look atcha like _that_ , like you’re _only_ good for that.”

She reached slightly shaking hands to push his hair out of his face, scraping a thumb pad over a rosy colored cheek bone when she felt the stiffness in his frame.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did.” She murmured quietly, shaking her head when he tried to shy away from her words. “I didn’t mean it, I just, I got _so_ scared.”

This time she couldn’t stop him from jerking away, but she did block his path when he tried to make it to their dresser, latching onto his vest when he attempted to flee back out the door when that didn’t work.

“It’s not what you’re thinkin’!” She dropped her volume when they both froze at her sudden outburst. “I wasn’t scared of _you_ Daryl, not _ever_.”

“ _Kay_.” He scoffed, doing his best to pull from her grasp without actually touching her, or using too much force.

“You think you’re the only one?” She hissed at the face that was stubbornly still averted from her own. “Don’t think I’d be friggin’ _devastated_ if somethin’ happened to you while I was here, twiddlin’ my thumbs? Think I could _stand_ it, if the last time ya touched me was huggin’ me in the laundry room ‘fore ya left?”

She knew it was hard for him to believe her right now, his eyes dragging across the features of the room to the features of her face. Knew she had to give him all the time he needed to search her eyes and see the truth there. When he had, she could tell it still bothered him – her reaction – she could only imagine how he must have been feeling this whole time while she sat up here and detangled her thoughts.

Reaching slowly, she took his hand, felt his struggle not to pull it from her grasp. Locking her eyes with his, she brought it up to lay on the small flare of her hip, holding it in place while she did the same with his other hand on her unoccupied hip. Holding them there until he tilted his head, shuffled closer to her, still looking uncertain.

"I _shouldn't_ have said it." She reiterated, moving her hands to hold his face. "You didn't deserve that, even if ya _did_ make me mad as hell." He puffed out a breath through his nose, ducking his head a little more into her touch. "I just got so worried, thinkin' about...about us bein' apart if somethin' happened, out there _or_ in here."

"Might know what that feels like." His skipping gaze landed on her scars before meeting her eyes again. "Would'a stopped ya this mornin' if I'd known-"

"Daryl." She leaned into him, lips pursed. "We're just...I'm just gettin' used to this, we both are, an' I freaked out, that's all." Her mouth curved a little in embarrassment. " _I_ liked this morning too." She kept talking through the spasm of his hands on her sides. " _I wasn't scared of you_. That wasn't a Grady thing, that was an us thing."

"Us thing huh?" He asked after a moment, and she could feel more of the tension seep out of him when she nodded. "Hmmm. Kay." She moved her arms to loop his neck, feeling his hands move to the small of her back as she did.

"Were ya really gonna move outta our room?" Her voice sounded sad to her own ears, her finger tips gliding down the back of his neck as he hummed confirmation. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinkin' how'd it seem to you, an' then by the time I realized, I figured you'd be gone with Aaron."

He nodded a little, arms flexing around her like he was enjoying the feel. "Went out a'ways, good ways, saw light from a fire, too late to check it out." She tamped down the shot of fear that shivered up her spine.

"That mean y'all are gonna head out tomorrow instead?" He kept her eyes as he nodded, and she knew it was probably hard on him after everything, to still not shy away so she did her best to sound like she was at peace with the decision. "Ok. Well..." She took a deep breath and moved her hands to the edge of his shoulders so she could rest her head against his chest. "You tell Aaron, he lets _anything_ happen to you, I'mma whoop his ass."

He snorted in surprise, arms tightening around her further, calming her nervous center immediately.

"Wasn' gonna be the last time ya know." He mumbled after a little while of silence that had slid into her like a calming weight. She clenched her hands into the skin along his upper arms, signaling him to continue. "That I touched ya."

"In the laundry room?"

"Mhmmm, had plans on at least holdin' ya tonight, if ya weren't too busy flailin' aroun' all over the goddamn place." She let out a surprised laugh, drawing back to look at him. Taking in his twitching mouth as he considered her. "Ya always been such a' fuckin' spazzy sleeper, or's that somethin' ya started just for me?"

"Just for you, you jerk." She beamed up at him, enjoying the solidity of him against her, the playful squint of his eyes, the pursing way he held his mouth to stop a wider grin. "You're just sore I ain't one a' them girls that'd snuggle up on ya all night."

"Tchuh." He scoffed lightly, reluctantly dropping his hold on her before rocking back a step towards their closed door. "Gonna go grab m'bow, g'on an' get changed."

"Bossy." She murmured with a mock glare that he returned, looking down the end of his nose at her a bit, as his mouth quirked.

Once he'd left the room she got into her sleep clothes quickly, and was already sat up under the covers by the time he got back. He hesitated only a heartbeat or two after stowing the weapon, before shucking off his clothes in quick deliberate movements, going down to his underwear, before climbing under the covers beside her.

Her mouth suddenly dry, she slid to his side, ducking under his heavily raised arm, she laid along his side, gingerly placing a hand on his chest. She didn't quite trust herself, after her ricocheting emotions that'd had her all over the place today. Her tenseness bled into his own, until finally he rolled his head to bump the top of hers with his stubbled chin.

"This alrigh'?"

"Yeah. 'Course." She bit at the back of her lips for a second before continuing. “Just tryin’ to behave myself ya know?” She trailed a few fingers down his shivering chest. “Don’t wanna have to go back to the no touching rule while we’re in here.”

“Didn’ last real long.” He mused a little thickly, as she ran short nails across the compact section of ab muscles. Daryl didn’t have hardly an extra ounce of fat on him, due to his willingness to always go without if it put more food in someone else’s belly.

She watched the ribbon width of old shirt still twined around her wrist catch and rub along the ragged collection of chest hair he had when she moved her questing fingers to his collar bone. It was one of God’s few miracles that they’d gotten to where they were, and she prayed these weren’t the only moments like this that she’d get with him.

“Hey.” She craned her neck to look up, feeling more than seeing when he shifted his head enough to gaze back at her. “Kiss me.”

She moved against his body a little, him curling up to meet her. “Bossy.” He rumbled against her lips before she closed the rest of the space.

Beth wanted to taste him, just a little, feel him against her and hear that amazing way his air would drag from his throat when they parted. Sounding like a near continuous growl until he caught his breath, if she let him, if she didn’t keep pressing in for more. He reached with the arm not already curling around her shoulders, and with deliberate slowness, slid it inch by inch below the hem of her shirt, resting it with warm timidity along her ribs before stopping.

A sigh wound its way out of her, chased by a moan when he ran that callused hand against her bare back. Her nails skirted his pec and nipple on a southern track down to his cloth covered hip, smiling against his mouth at the surprised rolling grunt he let out. His warmth from under her shirt left suddenly to skid along to her thigh, wrapping long fingers there to yank it over his own.

Her breath caught as she changed the angle of the kiss, jaw working more urgently as she was able to circle her already fluttering clit against the peaked bone of his hip. Feeling his gripping digits slide themselves up until they clenched with familiarity into the muscles of her ass, assisting her with the motions even as something solid nudged above her knee.

She loved this, him feeling comfortable enough to pull her into the position he wanted most, it made her a crazy kind of happy that ran current through her sparking skull. Not that she wanted to think about it right now, but a part of her was able to be grateful that their fight this time had lasted a considerably smaller chunk of time than the one before it.

They were doing ok, they were working through it.

Daryl’s abdominal muscles offered her barely more give than the ones coiling his arms as she pressed into them, made tracks with the restless heel of her hand,  trips that ended farther down his midriff with each pass. His heat as usual worked to kindle her own, temperature in her small frame taking steps to match the boiling one of his.

Everything spun and he was on top of her, a thick arm sliding out from underneath her back, the one kneading her ass similarly moved to prop him up as his mouth latched itself to her neck. She didn’t know quite how far this was going, didn’t have the mental capacity at the moment to know if she were ready for how far it might.

All she could feel was stretched skin over flexed and near trembling muscles, the scalding sweep of his tongue up the side of her neck, and the apex of his warmth grinding into the hollow of her stomach until she used her hold on his slick covered back to align them. Lightly guttural sounds climbed up her throat, hearing his answering pant into the underside of her jaw.

“Let me.” His lips tracked shivers down her when his whiskers skimmed the soft skin they were pressed into. “Let me.” He repeated, voice scrabbling from a steadily growling throat. “C’mon girl, wanna…” Daryl’s rocking movements stopped, making her suddenly aware of the volume of her own breathing. “Beth.” And maybe her ability to reason really was fleeing, because her name sounded like a prayer and she held onto him like she was about to fall.

“You’re ready?” There, that was the question she was supposed to know, to ask and be asked and it definitely was _not_ the question he was supposed to be shaking his head to now.

He rubbed the side of his face into hers, texture making her crave it like an overly affectionate cat, she encouraged him to repeat the gesture, bumping her temple to his. He wasn’t ready, was she ready, what was ready, what were questions…words felt rather cumbersome didn’t they?

“Don’ wanna do that…” He puffed out an unstable breath, when she glided her nails up his back, as she listened with every working part of her brain. “When m’leavin’…like I’m…”

“Not gonna come back?” Beth’s words breathed themselves into the night blackened room and she felt him nod against her cheek. “Then you…you want?”

“T’touch ya.” And he said it so quietly, like it was the biggest secret he had, like saying it would make it never come true.

It wasn’t that she didn’t _want to_ , hell, as it was she was going to have to take her panties off in any event from the amount of wetness she could feel slipping around down there. But after this day, with him leaving tomorrow, she couldn’t imagine feeling him inside like that, and if he were able to get her to orgasm, to feel that once only – to have it be the only time…

But if he didn’t come back…if this was it…just how much would she hate herself for telling him no? How much of her would survive if she told him yes?

“I can’t.” She gritted out finally, feeling him nuzzle along her ear when she did. “It’d be…”

“Worse?” That rasp wasn’t the least bit upset, she didn’t think she’d ever heard a man so understanding after being told no. And then she remembered what he’d said today at the gazebo, that losing her now would be worse than it would have been before.

She got it now, thought she had an idea before, but the vise cracking her ribs as she clung to him made her realize she hadn’t fully known, even in the face of her angry panic attack, how badly losing him would affect her.

“You better come back.”

He rose to look down at her, glinting chips of black shot blue flashing somewhere above her.

“Better be here when I do.”

He waited for her to nod, before he kissed her one more time, tongue licking slowly around the recesses of her mouth until she wanted to cry, before he was rolling off her, pulling her to his side. Beth spent the next several moments getting her breathing under control while Daryl stroked a half steady hand along the length of her back.

She didn’t even realize, an hour or so later when she was falling asleep to his steady strokes, just how tightly she clutched him to her, fingers digging into soundly expanding and compressing abdominal muscles as air and life surged quietly through him. The steady thumping of his heart was lulling in her ear, broad hand cradling her elbow, and his heat all around her winding away consciousness.

She’d hold him tethered and tight, keep him from ever dying through sheer stubbornness.

Had to, because she…

Because of course she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I literally just realized this ended up falling so Daryl is about to go on a trip and so am I...Well God willing my trip goes better than his did at that warehouse am I right? :)
> 
> Hope y'all liked it alright, love any and all feedback, see you guys after a little while.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey look I'm back and Daryl's gonna be going and coming back all in one chapter b/c no one likes the in between stuff am I right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. Holy Moses pals I am back! Lots of fun was had, I came back home sun burnt which is the sure sign you've vacationed properly. Hope y'all missed me as much as I missed you, thanks for all the support and patience while I was gone.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and heads up for Thursday's update - it's a bit of a monster, super long, could have split it up but I figured you guys wouldn't mind it too much ^.~
> 
> I wish you all some lovin' readin'!

**Chapter 21**

He didn’t have a whole lot of time left, it was early morning and Aaron was going to be coming by anytime now to head out with him in search of the campfire they’d seen the night before. It had been close, too goddamn close, if whoever it belonged to was an enemy, they’d easily be able to find the Safe-Zone. If they were a good person, the kind they wanted here, then whoever it was could just as easily bypass Alexandria altogether, and would no doubt die out there.

Leaving Beth here had been a hard choice for him to make, he was already riddled with that gut wrenching anxiety that he hated so goddamn much. But the other signal his gut had been sending him, was that it was safer in here (at least for now) than it was out there, even _with_ _him_ being there as well. 

He couldn’t risk her, and even when he thought that fight they’d had was it, that she didn’t want anything else to do with him after how she’d flinched away from his touch, after what she’d said…It still hadn’t been an option for him to go back on asking her to stay put, her dropping him would rip out every lightened shade he had, but causing her death, wasn’t something he could bear even the thought of, wouldn’t let it happen at all – not if he could do something to prevent it.

His hands moved over his bow, checking and rechecking, ass firmly planted on the porch’s wide railing, back pressed against one of the supports, he did his best to keep himself occupied. Had to, that blonde haired woman of his was inside, and Daryl was pretty sure if he got within a few feet of her, he’d sweep her up and take her right back to their room. 

See if she was willing to wrap those pretty lips of hers around him again before he…

He’d rolled out of bed quick as he could this morning, dressed and ignored his painfully tight pants until his body had settled, it was taking everything in him not to go back on something  _ else _ he’d said. 

Lucky, that’s what he was, first time in his life far as he could tell, that Beth didn’t hate his welshing guts. That his attempt at hugging her, no matter how well intentioned it had been, didn’t completely fuck everything up by triggering some shit from Grady she hadn’t realized could happen. He’d fuckin’ known she was pissed, knew she had all the right to be, but he’d watched her fold clothes and wanted desperately to hold her close – tell her it’d be alright even if they both knew he couldn’t promise her that with any real certainty.

And then she’d…

He shook his head, nearly fumbling his hold. It was over. That’s what mattered, she hadn’t meant it, panicked and said some shit that cut at him a bit, made her imperfect in the strictest sense. But to Daryl, made her all the  _ more _ perfect for him, woman had some jagged edges. Just meant they could knock along his, maybe they’d chip them off together.

“Good morning.” The quiet footfalls he’d heard making their way up the sidewalk had stopped in front of their house, and Daryl cut his sight over to the speaker. Blonde woman, one that Beth said was a little off for some reason. Jenny? Jill? Fuck, that didn’t sound right. “I’m Jessie.” 

_ So close. _

He grunted some kind of response that might have been construed as a greeting, eyes going back to the weapon in his hands. Seeing as she moved up the stairs in his peripheral, woman must be coming to see Rick, didn’t seem like a good idea. From what he’d heard, things were getting more and more tense between the lady’s husband and the community’s recently appointed constable.

Instead of making for the front door, she came to stand between him and the second set of doors off to the right of the main entry, still a good distance from him but the proximity still made his skin itch and his eyes narrow. Wasn’t he still being avoided like the plague around here? He wasn’t much of one for small talk or making friends, he’d already buddied up with Aaron and Eric - he’d met his goddamn quota. 

“Rick inside?” She questioned, arms folded loosely, genial enough smile on her mouth. 

Shrugging and muttering he kept an eye on his bow, even though he was technically done checking  _ and _ rechecking it, and the other eye on the blonde woman that wasn’t  _ his _ blonde woman that was still next to him and staring. The hell did she want, sure as shit wasn’t making her way to the front door to  _ knock _ or nothing.

Finally giving up, he turned and eyed her in mild irritation. “You know…” She tilted her head a little, eyes squinting with her smile. “I already gave  _ Rick _ a haircut.”

He could feel his face screw up a little at the insinuation, or maybe the offer, of her giving  _ him _ a cut like she had Rick. “Yeah?” He grumbled, eyes turning back to his bow. “Hadn’t noticed.”

“I could-”

The front door opened, and he didn’t know who it was, but  _ anyone _ was welcome at the moment.

“Daryl I packed you some-” Beth stalled out, a thumb hitched back over her shoulder. “Food. Hi Jessie how’re you doin’ this mornin’?”

The woman smiled easily and nodded. “Doing good Beth, how’re you?”

“Doin’ just fine thank you.” Daryl watched her eyes jump back and forth, mouth slightly parted like she was about to say something. He was doing his best to stare at her as hard as he could, hoping to recall some of that ability they’d had, of having an unspoken conversation. Fuckin’ telepathy was a thing right?

He saw her eyes narrow a little at him.

_ What? _

His gaze flashed to their guest.

_ Don’ ya fuckin’ leave me out here with ‘er. _

He almost snorted at the way she smiled a little to herself close to wistful, obviously pleased that the only blonde he was wanting to spend time with was her. Clearing her throat a little, Beth crossed the porch to settle against the railing he was sitting on. Of course she leaned right into the place where his ass had been comfortably placed, knocking into him and about sending him pitching over the side.

On reflex he snapped out an arm, wrapping it tight around her waist, while his other one was busy keeping his bow from hitting the ground. His body tensed at the viewed contact, but when he went to remove the offending arm, Beth latched onto his wrist and kept him in place. Of course he could force the point, wrench away from her hold,  _ probably _ be able to land the fall on the other side of the railing…

She curved the hand of her old shirt twined arm around the bottom side of his grip, her right hand laying itself against his wrist, looking all the world like they’d done this millions of times. He glanced at Jessie from under his hair, saw her look of surprise through her slightly frozen smile.

“So were you lookin’ for Rick?” Beth asked sweetly, leaning more into him so that he’d have to do the same in order to keep his seat. “Or were you needin’ anythin’?”

The newcomer’s eyes were glancing back and forth between the two of them like she was trying to figure out if Beth was playing a joke on her right now. “I…was looking for Rick yeah.” She made a quick motion at him, and Daryl’s grasp flexed involuntarily into Beth’s stomach. “But then I got a look at his hair and was offering him a trim.”

His girl made a little sound of surprise before twisting to look at him. “Oh gosh I don’t know. I kinda like it this long.” She removed her left handed hold, sliding soft fingertips across his forehead and cheek, pushing some of the strands that lay there out of his eyes. “Don’t you Daryl?”

_ Damn, she’s beautiful. _

He really fuckin’ wished they were alone, so he could kiss her, girl was so damn gorgeous, knew how to shake off people without causing shit to get weird, could half read his mind so he didn’t have to talk, not when he didn’t feel like it. And she never complained not once, about his look, smell, or general cleanliness, how the hell was he going to leave her here for a whole day, not knowing if he’d be back in that time for sure or not…

His arm tightened and he shrugged, feeling his face flush when she smiled happily at him. He needed her to be safe, hadn’t been to this place where the fire had been seen, didn’t know who or to what he’d be tracking. Wasn’t safe, even less than usual, he knew all this – wasn’t going to change his mind but – fuck he was gonna miss her so bad.

“Well in that case.” Jessie said with another smile. “I guess I’ll see you guys later, have a good one.”

Beth waved cheerfully while he kind of nodded and kept eye contact, which was as friendly as he was willing to get at the moment. They waited until her footsteps faded and then, while keeping hold of him, Beth turned and steadied him a bit as he swung his legs down. He followed without comment as she tugged him back inside the house by his wrist, stayed silent as she led him into the kitchen where she was apparently loading him up with food for his trip.

“Only gonna be gone a’ day, Beth.” There was something in his voice that made him feel embarrassed, didn’t remember ever hearing it there before. 

“Plannin’, you’re only  _ plannin’ _ on bein’ gone  _ one _ day.” She corrected, almost business like all of a sudden in her tone, dropping her cool hand from his wrist and closing up the bag she’d prepared. “Ain’t gonna risk ya goin’ hungry from short sightedness.”

Her sudden change in demeanor caught at him, tripped his warning center, she’d obviously been putting on a happy face out on the porch and was in all reality completely stressed out. Wasn’t hard for him to guess about what, since he was feeling the same way about the same thing.

“I hunt, woman.” He set his bow on the counter, trying to keep her face in sight, even as she started fussing with the bag that looked perfectly sealed up to him. “Should keep some a’ that for you an’ the-”

She waved an irritated hand and he stopped talking immediately. “Just don’t. Alright? I can’t…” There was a stiff set to her mouth, a slightly wider quality to her eyes. “I’m not goin’ with ya, so I gotta do  _ somethin’ _ .” She swallowed hard twice, ducking his eyes as she headed into the laundry room, he couldn’t seem to help but stay on her heels. “Somethin’ to make it feel like I’m helpin’ ya ta’ come home.”

She started pawing through some of the clothes of his she’d cleaned, searching desperately for something that she couldn’t seem to find. “Hey.” He didn’t touch her, still a little gun shy maybe, but came up beside her, arms loose and ready to hold her if he got the chance. “I’m comin’ back alrigh’? Ain’t gotta  _ help _ nothin’, I’mma be back here by tomorrow night.” 

She shook her head hard, and he saw the way her lips were pursed, the pink flush as she continued to search through his clothes for a moment more before slamming her hands down on them.

“ _ Damnit _ !”

He fuckin’ hated everything about this moment, he should have taken it more into account what other feelings besides angry she’d be having about him going off without her. Hell they hadn’t been apart really since he’d gotten her back from Grady. He’d refused to leave her even when they’d made their trip to Richmond and gone to check out Noah’s old neighborhood. 

“The hell’re you lookin’ for?” He murmured it to her, trying his best to be some kind of calm that she could maybe latch onto. 

“That red rag of yours.” Eyes closed, the answer came out as a bit of a grumble.

“Already got it out of there when I woke up.” He’d sidled closer to her as he spoke, feeling like he was trying his best not to spook a jittery doe. “Thanks, for gettin’ it washed.”

Her whole face crumpled and she sucked in a harsh breath before turning and pressing her face into his chest. Frame shaking as she covered her eyes and cheeks with her hands, cried into him, her shoulders and back shivering with each inhale against his own hands that held her to him. He didn’t know if he’d ever had someone as worried about him as Beth Greene obviously was right now, most people expected him to just be able to take care of himself, which he  _ could _ but…felt nice, having someone that didn’t just  _ expect _ him to be alright.

Felt like glass in his arteries though, to hold her while she cried,  _ that shit _ he couldn’t let stand.

“So,” he mumbled into the hair by her temple, “ya really like my hair long huh?” Her breathing stopped in between exhales, paused for a bit before huffing out something that thankfully sounded like the ghost of a laugh.

“’Course.” She answered him quietly, hands dropping from her face to wind around him. “I like it quite a’ bit actually, don’t you?”

He shrugged, just happy to have her less upset. “Don’ really care.”

“I figured as much.” She sniffed as she drew back from him. “You notice how Jessie didn’t keep lookin’ for Rick?” 

He blinked down at her a couple times, keeping hold of her elbows, having trouble for a moment trying to place the name, before the events of only a few minutes ago came back to him.

“Nah, not really.”

Her mouth pulled all to one side like she was considering something, before dropping her head back down to his chest. “Think she’s lookin’ for someone to save her, I’d think half the town was enough.” She mused sadly, fingers digging in now and then against his back. “Maybe she’s thinkin’ you’re a sure bet, or maybe she just doesn’t realize how many people are already workin’ on it.”

“Ain’t got a fuckin’ clue a’ what you’re talkin’ about.” Fortunate for him his growling never seemed to put her off any, she just held on tighter while she explained to him what Rick and Carol had been talking a lot about lately, how maybe no one had said anything to him because most of the people in the community were still scared witless of him.

He was only able to give a grunting answer of acknowledgement in response. Did he like the idea of  _ any _ woman getting beat on like his old man had done to his mom? Hell no. But if the others thought they could handle it, and that he shouldn’t get into it, he wasn’t about to intervene. 

There was a knock on the front door and they broke apart reluctantly, Beth grabbing the small bag of food from the kitchen while he swung his bow onto his back and they made for the entrance in silence. He answered the door, greeted Aaron with a jerking nod before muttering a quiet goodbye to her, taking the offered knapsack with a twitching smile of thanks. She stayed on the porch as he made it down the steps and headed for the gate, feeling the back of his neck itch like crazy with every step.

“You alright Daryl?” Aaron asked. Daryl was sure his face was probably a little stormy while he did his best to get passed the nasty cinching in his chest.

Thing was, he couldn’t quite manage an answer, even a nod seemed too much to deliver at the moment. He was leaving his girl here,  _ his girl _ , he had this gut feeling something bad was going to go down and he wanted her in the safest place possible. So he was doing kind of a shitty thing and asking her to stay put, just this time, until he could train her more and then she wasn’t  _ ever _ leaving his side. 

Because he couldn’t take this shit.

And if this whole situation didn’t suck enough ass, they’d spent their last few minutes before he left, talking about some chick he didn’t even know. When what they should have been doing is memorizing each other’s taste, or at least just holding onto one another until he had to go. Didn’t care how much of a pussy the voice in his head that sounded like Merle said that made him, Beth was  _ his _ and he’d keep it that way for as long as she let him because he…

He  _ knew _ .

The gate was opened for them, and without being able to even breathe properly, he turned.

And looked back at her.

She’d seemed unable to let the distance between them stretch without doing anything about it herself, she’d gone down the steps, trailed along the sidewalk behind them a ways so that even though the house was no longer viewable from his place at the main gate, she was.

He could hear Aaron’s questioning tone from beside him but couldn’t make out the words, didn’t even try to, she’d followed him after they’d said goodbye, could have easily turned around and gone back in the house and he’d have been looking at empty street and manicured lawns.

_ “An’ that’s the whole point, neither of them have to be told, it’s more like they can’t help it.”   _

She wasn’t wrong, not for him, not right now.

Her movements stilled and through the rib shaking beat of his heart he felt like they weren’t nearly half a street away or more, that he was standing right in front of her, could see the way her eyes went wide – how her lips parted in a surprised little  _ oh _ .

He held her there for a moment or two more, just to make sure, just to imprint the look on her porcelain scar-swept face before he nodded once, and turned back around to head out the still open gate. Hell and high water had been gone through to find Beth, he was willing to go through much of the same to make it back to her again.

Of course, he didn’t have any idea at the time just  _ how _ close to the literal truth he’d get to that by the time he, Aaron, and Morgan came trudging back through those gates the next night. He’d been close, closer than he had in a long time, to dying – known it while he sat in that damn car – walkers clawing at the windows, and a good man at his side. 

He’d been pissed as fuck too, for being right, for ever leaving Beth Greene’s side no matter the situation or how unavoidable it had seemed at the time. But most of all, he was pissed he hadn’t said that shit at the gate out loud to her, it’d taken him too long, way too fuckin’ long to realize what the hell the feeling was that twisted up his heart muscle like it was. So she never got to hear him say it, and Beth deserved to hear how much she was loved  _ every damn day _ .

The knowledge of how badly his death was going to wreck her had been almost overwhelming, that he’d lied to her without meaning to, and Daryl Dixon wasn’t a liar – not about the things that mattered. He owed this Morgan guy, owed him big time, because if Heaven was a thing, and he’d done enough to balance his books, he was pretty sure Beth would have curb stomped his ass soon as her time came around and she met him up there.

Wasn’t as surprised as he may should have been when they came in on the scene they had, Rick covered in gore, killing that Pete guy like he was Deanna’s attack dog. Maybe it needed done, after what Daryl had been told, maybe it was Rick going off the damn deep end again, he’d have to keep an eye out…But he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t the voice  _ after _ Morgan’s shocked recognition of their blood covered leader that he cared most about.

“ _ Daryl _ ?”

And then a flash of blonde was pelting towards him, skirting a dazed looking Rick, before plowing into his chest, arms vising his middle as he wrapped his own around her shoulders. He was home, just like that, one hand moving to cradle the back of a ponytail topped head as she breathed him in deep. 

There was so much obvious insanity going on around them, he had shit he needed to take care of he knew, but now?  _ Right now? _ Anyone trying to make him drop his hold, would get themselves a sound ass kicking.

That’s all he had to say on the matter.

He could hear talking from the group in front of him, heard some answers and explanations being given, flicked a quick glance to Rick to make sure his brother was through shooting people for the night, but mainly his entire focus was the woman in his arms.

“You’re late.” Her words came muffled from his chest, and he wanted to be somewhere not in the view of just about every person in town, because the sound of her lilting voice was making his throat feel swollen and his weary eyes feel burnt. 

“Ain’t midnight yet.” He muttered back, knowing that their relationship was pretty well evident to all those who had previously  _ not _ been in the know. 

Though, with all the bat-shit insane things that had just happened, he figured this might not break the town’s folk top ten items of things to discuss this week. They had to stick around until past midnight to detangle the worst of the fallout. He couldn’t just leave the others to deal with everything, even if all he wanted was to go curl himself around his girl and get some sleep. Or not sleep, whatever the fuck she wanted to do.

She shadowed him for most of the night, always staying where he could glance and see her quick, which he did more often than was remotely necessary. By the time they’d worked everything they could out for the night, and people were headed back to their homes or stumbling off in whatever direction to clear their heads, she came to his side, laced her fingers with his. 

“Come on.” Aaron was the one to say it finally, jerking his head towards their houses. “They can work out the rest without us, because if  _ I’m _ tired you’re exhausted.”

He shook his head even as he met Rick’s haunted eyes and motioned his head similarly towards home, receiving a vague nod in return. “Did as much as me.” His protest to Aaron was met with a worn-out smile as the three turned to begin the short journey.

There was an awkward silence as no one wanted to discuss what they’d all just seen, not that he would have tried to, but he figured the other two were trying to think of something suitable to say that didn’t seem forced. It was moments like these he was glad to not be a talker, no one expected him to fill silences.

“Well it might sound odd to say.” Aaron began haltingly after a few moments. “But I  _ am _ glad to see that you two worked everything out.” Daryl’s gaze snapped to the side, could see the back of Beth’s head as she looked at the curly headed man in surprise. He’d brought this up to Daryl as they sat in that car, talking about how Daryl was trying to fit in with the community. Telling him it was seeing him and Beth, and then the two of them leading the others to safety that had made him decide to bring them back to Alexandria. “I uh, I was watching remember? When the two of you were by the barn, before the storm hit.”

Memories flew through him and he felt his face flush, ears even burning as he dropped his gaze and focused on the street ahead of them, no way in hell was he going to talk about that shit, hadn’t in the car when he thought he was about to  _ die _ . Beth could if she wanted, but he was already trying to deal with all the new emotional mine field level of stuff that was happening with them right now, no way could he offer any kind of intelligible comment about that day by the barn.

“Oh, that’s right you were.” She said after a moment, tightening her grip marginally on Daryl’s hand.

Aaron sounded immediately embarrassed as he continued. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about how you uh…” He fumbled a bit before continuing. “I stopped listening once I realized what…what was going on. I swear. But like I was telling Daryl, it made me sure. You know, about what good people you all were.”

Daryl felt her eyes on him, and peeked at her through his hair, she was looking his favorite kind of glow, all pearl and fairy lights – like she had back on the steps the night they’d drank together.

“Yeah, only took me forever to convince him there was such a thing  _ as _ a good person.”  She squeezed his hand again, and he leaned a bit on his next step to bump her shoulder.

They’d reached the group’s houses and Aaron nodded them a goodnight as he continued down the road, stopping suddenly to turn and call back.

“You two should come for dinner soon,” his eyes flicked back to the mess they’d just walked away from, “seems like a good time to keep your friends close and all that.”

Daryl nodded in answer, saw Beth do the same albeit more enthusiastically, lifting a hand to the other man as he turned to make it home to his own love. It was Daryl’s turn to lead her up the steps, entering the house and making it to their room without a word. She’d barely gotten the door clicked shut behind them, and he’d barely slung off his bow, when he was yanking her into a hug that he might have thought was a little too hard if she wasn’t binding him just as tightly.

He marveled not for the first time about the way she fit against him like they’d been planned that way, to fit against one another, clicking into place to know they’d found that mythic other half that sounded like bullshit – but was the realest thing he’d ever felt.  

Unlike him, she smelled like fresh soap and clean clothes, her hair silky to the touch now that she had the time and means to tend to it. His arms were wrapped almost completely around her, hands feeling the softness of the dark loose knit sweater she’d been given. The tight hold she had around his neck was impeding his ability to do the other thing he really wanted at this moment, which was to kiss her until he couldn’t breathe.

“We’re not doin’ that again right?” She whispered into the nearly complete darkness of their room, and he shook his head next to hers, managing a barely audible –

“Hell no.”

“Kay good.” And her voice sounded strained even through her relief. “Do I wanna know how bad it got out there for ya?”

Walkers piling out of semi-trailers, heads being whipped off by a chain, dead hands and mouths slamming against the glass next to his face.

“Nah.” He murmured succinctly, releasing his hold so that he could pull her arms from him, humming as he pushed her back enough to bring his lips to hers. 

And there was that bite of wild sugar that he’d missed for what felt like years even though it was only a matter of hours, and there were his hands dropping to slide down that perfect fuckin’ curve of her ass to bring her flush against him once again. He swallowed her noises whole, rolled his tongue like he did his hips, feeling himself harden at the familiar intoxicating sensations. 

She hadn’t said anything about him looking back at her, about how they both knew what it meant when he had. Not that he’d given her the time to, not that he planned on doing so anywhere in the next good while. Maybe this was it, maybe they were ready, he hadn’t really thought that far ahead. He just wanted the taste of her in his mouth, the smell of her ground into his skin like her hot little cunt was to his stiffened dick. 

Small adamant hands were shoving at his clothes, and he had to drop his hold so that his vest could hit the ground, and then it was her tripping nimble fingers down his button up. He broke from her mouth, catching his breath over the hitching grating noise in his throat, bending down a little to lick a broad tongue along her neck, nipping as she shoved the long sleeves off his arms, making his sleeveless plaid his last barrier between her and the hot skin of his chest.

“Layers.” She groaned, working on the final set of buttons. “So many.”

“S’cold out there.” His explanation was muttered against her neck, hands clutching her hips until the shirt was finally ready to be discarded, leaving him in jeans and boots.

She hummed an answer, placing her chilled hands against his heated abdomen, causing him to growl as he pulled her against him once again. He’d prefer more skin to skin contact, something he’d  _ never _ have thought to find himself wanting, but he still couldn’t bring himself to start removing her clothes.

Felt like something he should wait for her to either direct him to, or begin herself.

“I missed ya like crazy.” She whispered, sending searing pangs of want through him as she threaded her fingers into his hair for the sole purpose of tugging him off her neck and back onto her mouth. “God Daryl, I couldn’t even sleep without ya.” He was only able to shake his head against her parted lips, hoped she understood it meant that he couldn’t either.

That if he wasn’t in the middle of being tongue deep in her, he’d be dead to the world on that mattress right now. As it was, the earlier adrenaline was bleeding into a new surge from touching her, and he could feel the fine tremble in his bones, wanted to curse his weak body because if she felt it she’d stop them, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep it in check.

Maybe the ‘if they were ready’ part wasn’t going to matter one way or another, because he might not be physically able, might fall unconscious halfway through – freak her  _ right _ the fuck out. He pulled his mouth from hers, reached up to place his hands on either side of her neck, breathing deep while he could, eyes sliding open to see her looking at him in the near darkness. His hands looked almost black against her pale skin, and in a dazed kind of way he realized after fighting all those walkers and hauling ass back home, he was fuckin’ filthy.

If he ran his hands over her like he wanted, she’d be tracked in old blood, dirt, and five other kinds of grime. It was making him calm down a little, a nagging feeling of embarrassment tempering his still throbbing need. She blinked at him, eyes probably straining to see in the low light, she was all he wanted – maybe the only thing he had ever been brave or crazy enough  _ to _ want.    

“What’s wrong?” She was running slowly warming hands up and down his flesh, simultaneously cooling him while upping her own temperature.

He pulled his hands from her reluctantly. “M’all covered in walker an’ shit from the road.” It didn’t seem right, touching her when he was this covered in nasty crap that’d leave marks that weren’t made simply by his teeth or fingertips on her skin.

_ Ain’t even slept with ‘er yet Dixon, gettin’ a little ahead of yourself there. _

Tilting her head she looked at his hands for a little while before returning light reflecting pools back on him. “Did ya wanna go shower?”

_ Wanna fuck you or sleep.  _

He shrugged, dropping his head to hide behind his hair, feeling too strung out to care that the tactic was something he had been trying to break himself of. Not to mention, it was near pitch in the room and she probably couldn’t see much of him to begin with.

“Daryl?” She murmured it real low while coming up on the tips of her toes, his name sending pleased little trembling shivers down his spine and the muscles of his back. “I don’t care if you don’t, ya know that right?”

Thing was, he did, made it all the more necessary to give her everything she deserved. Beth deserved a nice place like this to live, comfortable bed, food in her belly, clean and happy as long as possible – that’s what he wanted to give her, maintain for her. She also deserved a man not covered in gore, grease, and mud. 

She sighed quietly, and her words froze him in his tired uncertainties. “I don’t think I wanna do this to ya.”  Her fingers were hooked into his pants, knuckles scuffing the smooth skin between his hips.

His head wasn’t working right, she didn’t want to what, fuck him? Had that really been what they were moving towards, but now she was backing out? Or had she been planning on doing something else to him, flashes of memory involving her hot mouth and pain too mixed with pleasure to matter went through his mind and he felt heat bake his cheeks.

Of course she didn’t want to do  _ that _ with him, any of that, he was unclean in a lot of ways that mattered and…but hadn’t she just said…she didn’t care about that. His eyesight seemed to flicker, shooting through sunspot white haze for a moment, and he blinked several times, trying to focus. She was frowning up at him, he was probably standing too close, he attempted a shuffling step backwards, but she clung to her grip on his jeans and he looked down a little in surprise.

“Don’  _ gotta _ do nothin’ w’me.” He rasped, trying to understand why she was suddenly much stronger than he remembered. “L’ego.”

“Mister, you think I didn’t hear what Aaron said, ‘bout you bein’ exhausted?” He went to put his hands on hers, get her hold off him, but got a little distracted with the softness his rough hands found there.

_ Love those hands… _

“M’gonna go sleep on the porch.” He informed her, thumbs running smearing circles into the bones that stood out as she flexed her fingers into the material of his jeans. 

“Hell you are, didn’t I  _ just _ get done tellin’ ya I couldn’t sleep without ya?” Fuck, she had too, he knew that, knew he hadn’t been able to do so either.  _ Goddamn it _ . He glanced over at the bed, heaving a tired breath. “C’mon, take your boots off an’ we can go to sleep, no rush on us doin’ anythin’ tonight, that’s what I meant.” She tugged on his pants to draw his slow moving attention back to her, that loss of adrenaline was a bitch. “You know that’s what I was talkin’ about right?”

He managed a nod, leaning back, still unable or unwilling to break her hold. “Don’ wanna sleep in the bed.”

“But  _ I’ll _ be in the bed.” She prodded with a soft smile, pulling him towards her, he rocked back into place and she met his mouth with hers. She ran a questing tongue along the seam of his mouth until he gave into the sensation with a grunt. He thought he felt her hands shift on his jeans, but she was licking her way along the backs of his teeth, and he just wanted to freefall into the feeling. Stopping after a few more dizzying moments she whispered against his lips. “I’ll rub your back ‘til ya fall asleep.”

He groaned when he felt her hand slide inside his drawers, soft skin gliding against his sweat soaked pubic hair that he didn’t even  _ want _ to think about the state of, wrapping a warmed hand around his still hardened cock and squeezing slightly. His head bowed to rest against hers, and his breath left him haggard when she ran a light palm over his head, gathering the small amount of moisture she found there and ran down the aching length of him.

She sure was a quick fuckin’ learner, that’s all he could say, girl gripped him just right, made him release fatigued pants and near whines as she worked his dick like she’d done it for years, knew just how he liked it. Of course it was a real possibility that he was tired out of his mind, and just her touching him  _ at all _ was enough to make him want to come. 

Soap and Beth filled his nose, soft sweater now bunched in his shaking hands, holding on with everything in him, as his hips began making unsteady thrusts into her tight hold.

If he hadn’t been feeling so uneasy about the state of him, he’d have maybe pushed her back on that bed, kissed her until she started pulling off more of his clothes – hopefully some of hers too so he could feel every goosefleshed inch of her. Could lap and suck chunks of that ivory bliss into his mouth, if his hands had been their normal shade of brown instead of near black, he’d have liked to see them splayed against pale ribs and pressing those tits of hers up – be able to appreciate the contrast between those rosy little nipples and his tanned flesh.

If he were cleaner, he’d maybe ask her to use her mouth again, look down in the low light as blonde hair bobbed along his cock, keep his eyes open to see her look up at him as she moved and moaned. His hands slipped under her sweater, fingers sinking into the giving tissue, as he tried to remember  _ why _ it was that he hadn’t wanted to sleep in the bed with her tonight.

“M’all dirty.” He panted his late arriving response against her mouth, before she was sucking his bottom lip between hers. Even as her pace increased and he felt a coiling that was about to snap, and did, when she moved her free hand to his hair, moaned into his mouth when he gripped her hard along her waist, desperate for a purchase as he came all over her wrist and his boxers. “I’mma fuck up the sheets.” He finished once he’d caught his breath, and she huffed out a laugh, withdrawing her hand gingerly, licking along her wrist as she pulled him like a water legged foal towards the bathroom.

“You’re sleepin’ in our bed tonight Daryl Dixon.” She was a fuckin’ wonder, he didn’t even know what to do with her…with what she’d just done to him,  _ for _ him. He should be embarrassed by how quickly he’d came, just like when she’d had her mouth wrapped around him, probably didn’t harbor well for the first time they fucked.

And the way she was smiling at him in the darkness, all flashing blues, and liquid tongue on her pale flesh, he wondered if his tired body would keel over if he got hard all over again at this point.

Though, her jacking him off definitely got the result she’d wanted. “Kay.” Was all he mumbled, nodding as he did his best to hold up his unbuttoned and unzipped pants from falling and tripping him. “Migh’ fuckin’ kill m’self in the shower though.”

“Not gonna shower, worst of it’s on your clothes an’ hands.” She explained this in such a soothing calm voice, if he didn’t have the sticky proof catching at him still, he’d think  _ she _ was the one that just fuckin’ orgasmed. “Here.” 

He moved where she motioned, blinked blearily against the light flicking on in the bathroom, watched her raptly as she guided his hands under the running faucet. Blinked suddenly teary eyes as she washed their hands together, leaning into him and humming another tune he didn’t know, but that stitched up his heart anyway.

He should tell her, say it now, she deserved to hear it out loud.

“There, perfect.” She smiled at him in the mirror, and he swallowed and bobbed his head even though she’d barely gotten the worst layer from his mildly trembling hands. “Ok, now do ya need me ta’ get your boots undone? Or do ya got ‘em an’ I’ll get ya some sweats to sleep in?”

He shook his head, throat dry and painful like the rest of his body. “Got ‘em.”

“Not even gonna argue about the sweats?” She questioned, teasing mixed with genuine surprise and he managed another shake and a mildly twitching mouth. “Think I’m gonna enjoy keepin’ ya this easy to persuade Daryl.” Warmth flooded his face at her look, redoubled when she smiled so sweetly it hurt his chest to see. “Seems like a win win, dont’cha think?”

“Seems like.” He croaked, clearing his throat when she smiled wider and left him to get those sweats she’d just talked him into. He tried his best not to feel like a coward as he sat on the closed toilet lid, unstringing his boots in tired jerking movements.

He’d tell her, he would, but she knew now anyway so it was alright, she’d ask him to say it if it started bothering her. But she shouldn’t have to, wouldn’t, he’d get there – he would.

Shucking off his boots, still damp socks, he stood and let pants and boxers fall. Toeing them against the wall, he moved back to the sink, turned on the water to a warmish temperature and splashed it fitfully against his sticky softened dick and pubic hair. She appeared in the doorway and he froze, her eyes trailed heatedly down his body – and he couldn’t help but feel less awkward under a gaze as beautiful and approving as Beth Greene’s.

Girl deserved better than him, but wanted him like mad, and he couldn’t seem to help but feel the same for her. Through the weariness of his body and bafflement of his mind, he watched her set his clothes on the counter, go to one of the hanging towels, and handing it to him – watch as he slowly dried himself. 

He  _ should _ stumble and cringe from a stare as intense as hers was while he pulled on all the clothes she’d brought him. Didn’t though. Would  _ never _ admit how good the stretchy material of the sweats felt on his stone heavy limbs,  _ and _ he might never tell her just how much he liked it when she wrapped sure fingers around his wrist and pulled him behind her. Did though. 

He flicked off the bathroom light, grumbled lightly when she folded back the comforter for him on his side and waved him in. But he didn’t say a thing when she climbed in and motioned for him to lay his head on her chest, just rolled into and onto her with a barely controlled sigh. Her steady hand made sweeping passes against his thinly covered back, and he wrapped an arm around her to hold her tight – drifting to sleep with every easy exhale of her lungs.

Fuck, did he love Beth Greene? 

Hell yes – never loved as much in all his life.

And he’d say it too, he would, soon…soon.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hopefully the look back got at least some awe's and I get maybe there might be some thoughts like, maaaan I don't think they're ever gonna do it, understandable however their first kiss was from Daryl's POV and it didn't seem fair to have the first kiss, the silent love you, and their first time knockin' boots be from his side... hint...hint.
> 
> Hope you guys liked the chapter, excited to hear from y'all regardless.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> O.O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. *bows head and prays before hitting post chapter* Awe hell, here we go.
> 
> I wish myself luck, and all of you happy reading.

**Chapter 22**

Beth’s eyes cracked open with the slow uncertainty of the not fully rested, body a delightful kind of heavy that she wasn’t used to, but didn’t have a problem being. Light strained its way in through the blinds of the room, unsteady shafts that caught and twirled small bits of things that always seemed to ghost through the air even without the passage and movement of people or beast. 

Her eyes had that crackling feel at the corners that told of her heavy sleep, and now that she was more and more conscious her back and hips complained of a night without the ability to readjust or stretch. Weight like a stone shifted and settled against her chest and stomach, a scratching palm dragged a trail of warmth up her stomach and stilled on her uncovered ribs. Daryl’s head moved again, rooting around for a more comfortable position, easing finally when he was half-pillowed on her right breast. 

Man didn’t move in his sleep like she did, picked a spot and stayed there, so this is how they’d spent the night. Her legs were even pinned by one of his heavier sweat clad ones, arm laying crooked on her abdomen, large blocky hand coming up to cover the lion’s share of her ribcage. He was back, he was safe, she had no idea what he’d had to do in order to be that way. But from his behavior last night, she knew it’d gotten pretty bad.

She’d thrown herself into every household or community chore she could while he was gone, dealing both with Noah’s death and Daryl being gone and the possibility of him not returning had made her the most on edge that she’d been in…well crap, the way things were now…only days since she’d felt about to snap. But to top it all off he’d looked back at her when he was leaving, she didn’t think he’d forgotten their conversation from the gas station, but had he actually been thinking of it right then as she had?

He’d nodded but… 

She didn’t want to wait anymore, hadn’t really wanted to for a little while now, things just seemed to keep happening that threw them off track and she was getting just about sick to death of all the interruptions. It wasn’t only her body, though parts of her ached for him that she didn’t think could, or maybe should, be doing so. Sharp pain sweeter than any throb or sore muscle had settled lower than her gut, higher than the apex of her thighs. Pricked and bothered in time to her heartbeat when she thought of him, which anymore was  _ all _ the time.

Even now, without him being conscious or touching her in any directly lustful way, she wished she’d have thought to strip down to her underwear, make him do the same. Feel the grating and grinding consistency of his facial hair as it slipped along the top of her breast. The bristling expanse of muscle covered leg that trapped her own, all of him warm and comforting like a blanket fresh from the dryer, a tightly knitted sweater that stopped the chill from her bones.

Daryl was starting to stir, she felt the delicious tension of her skin and frame as he sleepily hugged into her, a little slow rhythm that held her attention with each sluggish flex. She couldn’t see much of his face, slightly greased hair and tanned forehead being the sum of it. The swell of his shoulder was visible, the bunching of his bicep when he moved the arm to squeeze her lightly again and again, like he was enjoying it, and trying to figure it out all at once. 

There was a deep humming noise that tripped up the pace of her pulse for reasons she didn’t have the time or focus to consider now. Daryl turned his face into the sweater she was still wearing and inhaled deeply, her next breath went a little longer than the others at the sensation.

He was making slight scraping sounds at the back of his throat, those serving too to quicken her heartrate. Made her think of that morning she licked and sucked along his length, heard his next lungful rip and grate through him.

Knowing that she could do that to  _ him _ , that she’d been able to the first time she tried, was the most erotic thing Beth had ever,  _ ever _ , experienced. And maybe it helped that he’d never had it done, that she was his first, which was comforting and scary all at once, but he’d…he’d liked it so much – made the most amazing noises – they’d thrilled the hell out of her. She’d needed to do it again, had hoped to last night, but he was almost literally dead on his feet, unsteady and slow blinked.

It was selfish, what she’d done, working him until he came in his own pants like that but…it was a need she hadn’t been able to quite shake, reaffirmation that he was alive and whole in her hand. 

That he still was with her, wanted her, couldn’t stop her and didn’t want to, and he hadn’t seemed anywhere near displeased with her attentions. But still, she should have just browbeaten him into lying in the bed and skipped the rest…

Should have.

Maybe.

Daryl was definitely waking now, nuzzling into her shirt, hand moving in a meandering fashion to slide up, cover and roll around the small mound of flesh there. Boys had always seemed to find her chest rather shrug worthy, she’d been told many times that it was ‘alright’ she had small breasts, that there were  _ other _ things about her to find attractive. 

But the man pressing one of them with a thick hand, and the other a searching mouth – he’d shocked her senseless with his devotion to them, had hunched himself over them like she’d seen him do with his food or bow on occasion – like he thought someone was about to take them from him.

Would fight them if they tried.

His thumb rolled over her quickly hardening nipple, the layer of material her bra offered next to nothing in the way of protection. What small impediment it did represent was apparently more than he could stand, grumbling against the other side of her chest as he slid his hand down only to shove the article up and over her tender flesh, making her bite her lip. Once he was touching her skin to skin he made a happy little vibrating sound that caused her to grin in spite of her laboring heart.

“Feel fuckin’ amazin’.” He rasped into her sweater, hand kneading her breast in slow heavy motions that tugged straight through her stomach and clenched all the way to her toes. “Smell s’good, make me fuckin’ hard, jus’ gettin’ a whiff of ya girl.”

To prove his point he ground into the side of her hip, pressure becoming a shade close to unbearable on her breast as he used it as leverage. She didn’t even know what to say to that, was certain in her quickly pooling want, that the idea of him like this would plague her in the future, anytime they were with a group of people. Beth didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath until he was pushing at her sweater and bra, divesting them from both sides of her chest, rubbing his face against the sensitive skin there until she whined lowly.

“Should piss me off…goddamn perfect ya are.” Daryl’s voice in the morning was a weapon, it short circuited her brain, wound through her and licked along her clit with each guttering syllable that clawed its way from his throat. “Think about it sometimes,” he bit almost roughly and she cried out in surprise, all the while her hands flew to his head to keep him in place, “’til ya make those fuckin’ sounds for me, then I jus’ wanna fuck ya.”

“ _ Jesus, Mary, an’ Joseph _ .” She didn’t know what the hell had gotten into him, couldn’t quite process much while his tongue swirled and flicked that way. How he was thrusting slow and steady against her, making her warm and shivery. 

With a rumbling noise he pushed himself up to roll, still a little sleepily, between her legs. The hand that had been steadily torturing the budded flesh, moved so that his sinfully long tongue could take over the ministrations. She felt like she was going to suffocate, he always mentioned his smell or dirtiness, but all Beth could scent was  _ his _ smell, it was all Daryl and it swamped her – galloped down her spine and stretched her taught. With a huff she wiggled her rucked up clothing up and over her head.

Without much thought, more of a need, an impression that needed confirmation, she reached along his back and began scrabbling at the fabric there until he rose up and pulled it off of himself for her, lowering back down immediately to move sides once again, sending shocks and pulses from her nipples to her aching clit. 

She’d been right, knew it, as she did some pressing and kneading of her own against the muscles of his uncovered arms, shoulders, and back as far down as she could reach. He did feel incredible, weighing her down with his stocky frame, heated flesh searing her own soft stomach where they touched.

He bowed his back, running his stiff cock against the jeans she was still wearing from the day before, growling in irritation when, she guessed, the level of friction wasn’t what he was looking for, she agreed. Couldn’t feel him nearly as well as she wanted to. Moving her hands between them, she took a quick moment to palm him through his sweats, moaning into the mouth that was suddenly on hers in reward, feeling him be so painfully rigid for her. Releasing him, Beth undid her jeans, hooking them with her thumbs and pulling them as far down as she could with him blocking her path.

“Daryl.” She murmured against his mouth, even as she slid her fingers in between his sweats and underwear, working the outer layer down, as he panted slightly. His hair was falling to tickle and glide along her face, feathering strands disturbed by each of their labored gasps. 

He didn’t seem willing, or able maybe, to help her in this department, so she moved slowly, giving him time to make her stop, say something that would pause her movements. Sliding a little lower underneath him, she slid the fabric until the extra layer was mid-thigh. Far enough at least for now, she just wanted to feel him, they were still fine, base clothing still intact and in place.

Coming back up to where she’d been, Beth took a quick look at his face, pupil blown eyes stared down at her, thin lips marginally parted as he tried to control his breathing. He was a bit devastating to her at the moment, face flushing his tan a deeper tone, hair framing his features, those sharp cheek bones and that heavy lidded gaze making him look feral and terrified all at once. Tempered her own slight exhilarated fears while she met his sight, made her confident as she reached up between them once more to stroke him through his boxers.

The moan, if it could be called that, ripped through his throat as he lowered himself against her barely covered cunt. Air caught halfway out for her, as he began moving against her, not his usual stuttering or more confident rolling thrusts, but small little prods that bumped into her hood and the cluster of nerves beneath repeatedly. Unable to deal with the urgent throbbing for more, more of him, of pressure or a filling of what her swollen muscles there couldn’t seem to find, she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down for a hard kiss before licking her way into his mouth.

He didn’t let her for long, tangling their mouths together for a space of heartbeats before burying his slick hot face against her neck. His hips beginning more recognizable movements for her – stuttering snapping actions that made her kick little cries out of the back of her throat as they picked up speed. Instinct and need had her raising herself to meet him, tilting her pelvis to feel every inch of him slide against the wet of her panty covered slit.

“Daryl.” And something about the way she’d bit out his name made the thrusts harder. And she was going to die – heart beat itself to death in the cage. “Do you wanna-”

But she didn’t even finish the statement before he was shaking his head against her, making her teeth snap shut over her growl of frustration. That wasn’t fair – if he wasn’t ready she didn’t get to make him feel like shit over it. But  _ fuck _ , did this not feel as overwhelming to him as it did her? How could he stand not going further when just  _ this _ was the greatest thing she’d  _ ever _ felt, and he wasn’t even  _ inside _ her yet.

There was an impatient knock at their door and Daryl’s sweat covered, bowing back, stopped above her, his hips twitching forward now and again still, like he couldn’t stop the motion even as the knock came again.

“Daryl.” Rick’s voice snapped through the partition, and Beth had to fight the urge to scream, why was it that they couldn’t get a  _ moment _ to themselves? Did their half-cracked leader need her man for every friggin’ thing that happened? “Y’all decent?”

Daryl’s head whipped up as he half rose off both her and the bed, furious gaze sweeping down her naked chest, all the way down to the yellow cotton panties that were probably in a pretty mangled state – no doubt nowhere  _ near _ decent.

“Fuck _ off _ man.” Her eyes widened at the snarl that cracked its way from him, she figured Rick, even in the messed up state he was in, was having a similar reaction from the absolute shocked silence coming from the other side of the door. “Someone  _ else _ die?” 

He’d turned his head towards their unlocked door, body looking spring tight and ready to launch, either at the door to stop someone coming through it, or to the blankets that’d gotten kicked off in order to cover her. He was a gorgeous kind of oiled, between the mess he’d collected over his time on the road, and the perspiration he’d built up moving against her like he had. She could see, with a needy pang, that his dick had managed to come through the fly of his boxers, feeling a little mesmerized as it stood out, dipping and bobbing against the fabric still riding his hips.

“No.” Beth was surprised at the amount of feeling that was packed into such a small word, everything from embarrassment to anger riddled the man’s voice, and she could see the slight affect it had on Daryl. His shoulders hunched a little as some of his anger deflated, and she could tell he was obviously worried about the man that had become like a brother to him.

“Then jus’ give me a’ minute.” His tone was a lot calmer, and he straitened to be kneeling between her legs on the bed. “L’meet ya downstairs alrigh’?”

“Yeah, alright.” Rick answered quietly, before his soft paces signaled his departure towards the stairs. 

Daryl looked down at her, and in the late morning light he seemed to maintain a certain level of darkness around his face, hair clinging to the concealing element. Her own sweat slickened body felt on the verge of temperature related shivers, and she self-consciously started to cover herself from his pinning gaze, hands to her breasts, thighs closing off access to her trembling lips and tender little batch of nerves. 

“Nah c’mon.” He murmured, almost softly, passed the buckshot in his voice. “Don’ do that.”

She could feel the mildly pinched expression she held as he took broad hands, and first, gently parted her shut legs, before settling back down in his place, just as carefully removing her sheltering hands from her chest.

“S’cold.” She didn’t mean her voice to sound so quiet and unsure, rarely felt the need or inclination to make it that way anymore. “Down here without you.”

Narrow eyes, more from design than emotion at the moment, flicked over her before settling on and holding her sight with his. She wanted to ask what had made him stop, if it was something them related, or if he’d known they wouldn’t have the time they’d need. But he was looking so intently at her, that the words seemed to slink along her molars not willing to finish the trip out to him. 

“M’sorry.” He rumbled finally, and she felt her brows knit, reaching up she cupped his face gently, mouth twitching into a small smile when he closed his eyes at the touch. She wasn’t certain what the apology was for, but since she didn’t need one, she didn’t try to whittle down its target.

“G’on then, I’ll be down in a little while.” She swallowed, feeling him twitch unintentionally (probably) against her thigh. “Might as well take a shower before startin’ this day.”

He gave her a bobbing nod, bottom lip distorted as he pulled the inside of it between his teeth to worry at. She ran her fingers through his lightly swinging hair when he still didn’t move, scraping blunt nails against his scalp.

“You ok?” There wasn’t a definite reason why she’d asked, he just looked not quite ready to leave her, and she wanted to give him whatever excuse he needed to stay put for a moment or two longer.

He was still for a moment before tilting his head and shaking it slightly from side to side, moving it in his wobbly shake, like he had to talk the rest of him into finishing up the action. The sight of it made her readjust her legs around him so that she gripped him tightly to her, the action feeling protective even as she didn’t know what it was she needed to be fending off.

“Don’ wanna go deal with this bullshit.” She wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she pulled lightly at his scalp until he got the meaning and laid his head on her chest. “M’gonna smother yer ass woman.” He groused lightly, without trying to move an inch away.

“I like it though.” She answered lowly, feeling him breathe deeply against her ribs and stomach, his hips finally a safe distance away from hers. She dragged her fingertips along the expanse of his shoulders and back. “Look, we go deal with all the crap’got kicked up last night, an’ then I say we come back here, maybe do a little more of what we were doin’ ‘fore Rick knocked. What do ya think?”

He hummed into her sternum, making her inexplicably heated once again, before he rose up enough to meet her mouth with his, kissing her long and slow until she couldn’t think.

“Hell of a plan.” He answered against her cheek once they’d broken apart, and with a grumbling mutter, rolled off her and onto his feet. Padding over to their dresser, shuffling through a few things before beginning to pull things on, glancing back at her, he twitched a shy smile at her blatant staring. “Got no shame at all girl.”

She stretched with her own smile as his eyes ate up the action, his fingers fumbling a bit on his pants and buttons of his shirt as he finished. “Get it from my man I think.”

His ears went a little red as he moved back to her place on the bed, and leaning over her, angled his lips over hers, tongue diving into her moan as a rough hand cupped and squeezed her breast.

“Fuckin’ like the sound a’ that.” He growled quietly, before kissing her again and tweaking the nipple he’d been palming in a light but efficient way that made her gasp into his open mouth.

He continued working against her tongue with his while his hand slipped off her tingling and tightened flesh, skated down the expanse of twitching stomach muscles, to rest heavy and warm over her mound, grunting in surprise when he found her panties wet to his finger’s touch. She couldn’t help it, didn’t even try, just covered his hand with hers and pressed digits and wide palm down into her small amount of giving flesh.

A high pitched sound buzzed in her throat, and she reveled in the gust of breath that puffed against her cheek when whatever the amount of air he’d been holding in reserve exited him in a surprised gust. His fingers curled against the soaked cotton, heel of his hand making an experimental push that made her buck against him with a whine. 

“You gotta go.” She reminded him, even as her grip tightened and she ground herself against him in forceful little rotations. “You gotta go.” She panted again, eyes slitting open to see him gazing aptly down his arm to where she held him to her, jaw loosening and tightening like he’d speak if only he could remember how.

“Gotta  _ let _ me go.” He was able to rasp finally, even as his bicep flexed and he assisted her in adding more sweet pressure to her fluttering clit.

She felt so close,  _ so close _ to what she knew must be an orgasm, not something she’d had in a  _ long _ time, not since the farm and the old back massager she’d kept stowed under her bed. But it wasn’t quite enough, not yet, and the knowledge that people were waiting on him, and the frustration of not knowing how to manipulate his hand in a way that would speed her along to completion, had her releasing her hold and pushing halfheartedly at him.

“Go, go, quick.” The words were whispered out, he looked terribly confused by her decision, but she didn’t have the time or mental function to explain it to him. Not to mention, confusion wasn’t the  _ only _ prevailing emotion, and she knew if she kept him there any longer, more than just Rick would be coming to check on them. “Tonight right?” She tried, thinking of something,  _ anything _ , to say to get him moving.

He stood up off his leaning position, nodding before a pained expression took its place. “Not sure ‘bout, ‘bout how far. I-” She shook her head, an equally pained smile fixing onto her lips to stop his regretful speech.

“We ain’t gotta, just, just more time together right? That’s it, all I’m lookin’ for.” He nodded his acceptance, adjusting himself with a wince through his pants. “G’on now,  _ git _ .” She tried weakly to tease, kicking her accent up until it sounded more like his.

Huffing out a breath he nodded again, before turning and striding from the room, she took a few minutes to catch some air that didn’t immediately escape her. Scooting out of bed, going to the bathroom and jumping into the coldest shower she could manage, she was already counting down the seconds until they could be back in bed together.

Late afternoon found her at the kitchen table, she’d just gotten done handing Judith back to Carl, who’d she’d given most of the day off of babysitting, happy to help but also pleased that she’d apparently graduated from perpetual kid watching duty. She was at the moment sketching a general outline for the community garden that would be going up as soon as the crazy could level out and they could manage to haul in the supplies necessary.

She was about ready to stop her work, there was a couple things she needed to double check with Maggie before putting them down on paper, when the front door opening got her attention. A quick glance up had her eyes widening a little in surprise, Sasha and Tyreese came strolling into the room with matching tired smiles.

“Hey guys,” she smiled a little worriedly at them, putting her pencil down as they came to take a seat at the table with her, “everythin’ alright?”

“Far as we know.” Tyreese nodded, he looked rested but sort of drawn, like the hours he  _ was _ up and going were being hard on him.

Sasha had looked perpetually pissed lately whenever Beth had laid eyes on her, but right now she just looked as worn out as her brother. They must have been on watch, a long one from the look of them, and she was trying to understand why they were here instead of hitting their respective sheets.

“Realized we hadn’t really gotten a chance to see how you’ve been.” Sasha replied, settling her chin on her crossed forearms on the table. “You know since Noah, and Daryl and everything like that.”

Beth glanced at her in surprise noticing the mildly startled look on Tyreese’s face before he slid his gaze from his sister to Beth. “Well I don’t know about that second part, but yeah we wanted to see how you were.”

Skipping her eyes back to Sasha she was met with a slightly devilish smile. “So how  _ are _ you and Daryl?”   

“Sasha! Leave the woman alone, that’s not  _ any _ of our business.” Tyreese scolded, even as he smiled embarrassedly at his sister as she waggled her eyebrows at them both.

“Oh c’mon now!” The other woman chastised, straightening and waving an arm imploringly at a mildly blushing Beth. “We could use some happy, until Rick and Michonne wise up and start sharing a room too.”

“Wait  _ what _ ?” Beth and Tyreese chorused, only to have Sasha roll her eyes at them.

“Hopeless, all of ya.” She murmured, resting her chin back on her arms, and then tilting her face until she looked at Beth sideways. “So you guys  _ are _ happy though?”

A quick look to Tyreese only earned her a shrug and raised inquiring brows.

“Yeah, we’re…we’re real happy actually.” She answered with a grin that quickly turned goofy at the sibling’s flashing smiles.

“That’s good.” Tyreese said lowly, expression so genuine it pulled at her a bit. “We gotta hold onto that kind of thing, hold on hard as we can.”

“Easier to do with walls.” Sasha grumbled, jostling her head to wave her brother’s exasperated look off. “I’m not gonna start up again, I just…makes that stuff with Noah harder.”

“He was supposed to have made it.” Beth answered with a nod. “We all got here, kept gettin’ told how safe it was, and then…just when we’re getting settled that happens.”

“And now Rick…” The siblings traded a look as Tyreese quickly stopped, but Beth nodded, they’d all seen when Rick flew off the handle, it was terrifying. 

“Just have ta’ wait an’ see.” She replied weakly after an uncomfortable silence.

“Would you sing for us Beth?” Sasha asked into the next stretched silence, the request caught her off guard for a moment, no one had asked her to sing since the barn. She still did to herself, to Daryl while he was falling or already asleep, but not to a group – no matter how small that group was.

“Oh, sure, sure, what would you like to hear?”

“Something slow.” Tyreese answered as Sasha said – “Something sad.”

“Somethin’ sad?” Beth looked at the two of them, but they both seemed to be in a slightly melancholy mood, one she was sure she’d be in too if it weren’t for the man they’d just finished questioning her about. “Wouldn’t ya rather have somethin’ cheerful?”

“Just in that kinda mood I guess.” Sasha smiled ruefully with a small shrug. 

Casting her mind to a song that’d been on her mind, but had felt a little too morbid to sing with everything going on – she took a deep breath and began quietly at first.

“ _ If I die young bury me in satin _ _   
_ _ Lay me down on a bed of roses _ _   
_ _ Sink me in the river at dawn _ _   
_ _ Send me away with the words of a love song _ _   
_ __ Uh oh uh oh ”

She could remember hearing it for the first time not long before the end started. She thought vaguely now, as the words flowed out, that she’d thought it was the most heartbreaking song she’d ever heard. And so in typical 16 year old fashion, had listened to it on a never ending loop for what felt like weeks, until she’d known every word. 

Of course the focus had been on the idea of  _ her _ being the speaker of the song, of how awful it’d be to pass before she’d gotten a chance to do much of anything. How sad it’d make those that were in her life and loved her…

“ _ Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother _ _   
_ _ She'll know I'm safe with you when _ _   
_ _ She stands under my colors, oh and _ _   
_ _ Life ain't always what you think it oughta be, no _ _   
_ _ Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby _ _   
_ _ The sharp knife of a short life, _ _   
_ __ Well, I've had just enough time ”

Her eyes watered a bit on the verse, thickening her voice as she started the chorus over again, thinking of her mama, of the barn…her daddy at the prison. Thankful she  _ hadn’t _ been someone they’d had to bury. It hadn’t been true then as it wasn’t true now, she hadn’t had enough time, not even close, but  _ especially _ not now. 

“ _ And I'll be wearin’ white when I come into your kingdom _ _   
_ _ I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger _ _   
_ _ I've never known the lovin' of a man _ _   
_ _ But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand _ _   
_ _ There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever _ _   
_ __ Who would have thought forever could be severed by

_ The sharp knife of a short life, _ _   
_ _ Well I've had just enough time _ ”

She wasn’t even in the room anymore with them as she continued singing, couldn’t see or think of anything other than Daryl, the fact that  _ technically _ she could still wear white in that way, if that was something that mattered anymore which it didn’t. Never really had, now that she was far enough away from that life to know, but at the time when she’d first heard the verse, well, the whole thing had sounded pretty romantic to her sweet sheltered self. 

Now, a rough hand holding hers while they stayed up late talking, narrowed eyes that were peeked out from long half-dirty hair as he turned to look back at her, a nod that could mean a hundred different things, but that she knew could only  _ ever _ mean the one…That was love to her now, would be until she  _ really was _ buried.

“ _ So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls _ _   
_ _ What I never did is done _

_ A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell ‘em for a dollar _ _   
_ _ They're worth so much more after I'm a goner _ _   
_ _ And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin' _ _   
_ __ Funny when you're dead how people start listenin' ”

Setting into the last of the song, Beth finally came out of her head enough to notice she wasn’t the only focus of the siblings as the notes twined through her throat. Their eyes were slipping back and forth from where she sat at the head of the table, back to the kitchen, to the two doors that opened onto the front porch. Chords of the song fading out, she turned in her chair to see him standing in the open doorway.

“Daryl?” 

He looked, stricken, was the only term that’d come to mind. She pushed herself up from the table, walking to him quickly, her hands rising to clear the hair that hung in lank strands across washed out palely tanned cheeks. Only to have him jerk away from her touch, pushing her hands gently but adamantly to the side as he ducked around her and headed up the steps two at a time on his way to the second floor.

“I am  _ so _ sorry Beth.” Sasha said quietly, getting to her feet, eyes on the stairs.

Tyreese stood as well, coming to place a hand momentarily on her shoulder. “I didn’t even notice he’d come in.” 

“I didn’t think he’d…” She shook her head quickly, he wouldn’t want her discussing anything like that, not even with people in their family group. “It’ll be alright, I’m just gonna go talk to him, thank you for coming by to check on me.”

“We didn’t…” Sasha stumbled, looking a little panicked as Tyreese beckoned her from the open entryway, obviously intending to head next door. “I didn’t know.”

_ Neither did I. _

“Not your fault, I  _ am _ glad ya came over.” She smiled as she hugged the worried woman to her tightly. “Was nice, hearin’ that there are others thinkin’ about Noah, nobody knew him very long and everyone deserves…deserves to be mourned.” 

She shut the door behind them as they left, nearly sprinting up the stairs to get to him, opening the door to her and Daryl’s room, she found him on the edge of the bed wrestling off one of his large black boots. She stayed quiet as she closed the small barrier between them and the rest of the house, watching as he attacked the other boot with equal impatience. 

“Fuck you sing that for?” He snapped, glaring up at her, standing and beginning to unbutton his black sleeveless shirt, he’d already cast his vest down on the floor and the next article quickly joined it. “Ain’t got a million songs in that damn head, ya gotta pick the one ya wrote about dyin’?”

“I didn’t write it.” She said quietly, trying not to get distracted as he yanked at the button to his pants, before thick fingers ran the zipper south.

“ _ Tha’s _ what ya wanna fuckin’  _ clarify _ right now?” He retorted in a twanging growl, kicking free of his jeans, before turning towards the bathroom. 

His back was mapped in scars that rolled with his agitation, spidery lines of the tattoo slinking down and warring for space with the ropey marks. She vaguely wondered who in the world he’d let get that close to him in order to leave the inking shapes.

“Are ya mad at me for singin’ it?” She left her place at the door to catch his wrist, feeling the restraint as he pulled it from her grasp. “Or because it made ya sad?”

His head shook as he headed into the bathroom. “M’takin’ a’ shower.”

“You don’t have to.” She replied dejectedly as he turned to shut the door.

His glare was still firmly in place as it swung closed on his words. “Don’ remember askin’ fer yer opinion.”  

Scrubbing her hands against her cheeks in irritation she gathered up his clothes, feeling strangely domestic as she deposited them into the hamper. He’d been out working on his bike and dealing with Rick, and with the man he and Aaron had brought in, Morgan. She wouldn’t have sung the song if she’d known he was within hearing range, knew it sounded too similar for him to think of anything else.

A little uncertainly she stripped down to her underwear, tossing her own clothes in the hamper before going and flicking the lock on the door. Never hurt to cover your bases. Feeling far too exposed considering his seething emotions, she folded herself down on the middle of the bed and waited.

He didn’t take long, that didn’t surprise her very much, it just had her wrapping milky arms tighter around milkier shins as she waited for the door to open. A small amount of foggy steam exited out of the room before he did. She’d had time to undo and finger comb her hair, felt it tickle against her bare back, knew it probably looked like she was trying to manipulate him into not being mad at her anymore. It wasn’t what she was after, more like she was stubbornly going to pester him until he forgave her, or went to sleep on the porch.

They’d made a deal damn it.

She’d been looking forward to having him lying half naked against her all friggin’ day, and one old country song was  _ not _ going to stop that. He froze partway out, ran brooding eyes over her quickly before he turned and made his way to the dresser, towel slung along his hips. Waist looking narrower without his usual layers, shoulders stretching broader than they had a right to.

“Ain’t fuckin’ ya.” He threw over his shoulder at her, rifling angrily through the drawers, she prudently did  _ not _ mention anything about his choice to spend another night in sweats.

Instead she made a derisive noise that had his back tensing. “Pfft, like I’d let ya? With how rude you’re bein’ right now? Wasn’t nothin’ more than a song an’ you’re actin’ like ya caught me with another guy’s tongue in my mouth.”

He slammed the drawer to the dresser so hard the wall rattled behind it, cut a look of a dangerous level of frustration her way before prowling his way back into the bathroom and slamming the door shut there as well. She puffed her cheeks out releasing a breath, she might not have said the best thing there, but he just, he knew how to push her buttons too well. And she apparently knew how to do the same, not that they were very difficult for one another to rile, not after everything that’d happened.

Daryl’s reappearance had her scooting forward on the bed as he threw the comforter back on his side, gaze stubbornly averted from hers as he climbed underneath the blanket and lay on his side, the one that was facing away from her. Turning around fully, she eyed his freshly covered shoulders and spine, wet hair on the pillow. She considered reaching out and rubbing his back, but there was a tightly coiled energy about him, one that said he was waiting for this and would not have a positive reaction if or when it happened.

“You’re welshin’ on our deal Dixon.” She muttered quietly, almost to herself.

It wasn’t surprising he heard it, but the snort he gave seemed a bit unnecessary. “You’re underdressed fer someone ain’t gettin’ any t’night Greene.”

Her eyes closed to slits even as her mouth dropped open slightly, indignantly, he was such a…

“Don’t remember askin’ for your opinion.” She parroted back at him. “In fact, this isn’t quite right is it?” He didn’t reply which she’d expected and just kept talking. “No, actually, I remember right, I wasn’t wearin’ this much earlier today was I? Makes me  _ overdressed _ if we’re bein’ technical.”   

Unhooking her bra she gave into her grade school instincts and dropped the white cotton directly onto his face, smirking a little when he pawed it away quickly, until it hit the floor. She  _ tsked _ slightly, making an overly loud observation about the light still being on, flashing a look at his face as she went to turn it off. 

She stopped a little short, when she saw the way he was hunching into himself, ticking off the light she sighed again. She really had to stop letting him goad her into lashing back at him when he barked at her. But then, it seemed like only something she could  _ hope _ to mildly improve, their temperaments being what they were, she doubted this would be the last such episode they had. 

Moving to stand in front of him, she lowered herself onto her knees, raised a hand to carefully sweep some of his long hair off his face. He winced back, eyes opening to glare at her in the lack of light, body stiff and waiting for whatever she tried next.

“Was just a song.” Voice low, she let her lifted hand fall on the bed without trying again to touch him. “Wasn’t tryin’ to hurt you, and I’m not lookin’ to leave ya anytime soon.”

He held her gaze intently for what felt like small lifetimes before nodding his acceptance, body relaxing slightly when he did. She offered him a small smile, scooped her bra off the ground, decided not to put it back on, because why? And moved around the bed to climb under the covers on her side, gently turning with her back to him, trying her best to give him some space so that he could decompress and they could hopefully try again tomorrow.

Nighttime got closer, and she realized as the low light streamed in, that it was still pretty early all things considered, in their pettiness they’d jumped into bed to ignore one another while forcing them closer together. It made her want to laugh and cry all at once, mostly because while it seemed something rather believable on her part, the knowledge that Daryl had been the one to climb into their bed first to better give her a cold shoulder was pretty dang humorous, now that they were mostly made up anyway.

There was a slight shifting from his side and she stilled completely until he settled once more into place. Maybe he’d figured out what she just had, and was trying to decide on actually falling asleep or not. There was another small movement and her brows knit, Daryl wasn’t much of a restless sleeper, or one to try a bunch of different positions in an attempt to get comfortable. He, from what she could tell, had such control over his body that he picked a place and just willed himself to sleep no matter where or how comfortable it was or wasn’t.

Warmth was her main warning, before a heated palm slid gently down her naked back under the covers, making her shiver harshly at its unexpected sensation. He didn’t say a word before he was sliding in behind her, fingers ghosting her ribs before covering her breast, a gasp barely escaped her throat as he palmed it before stroking a thumb over it. Daryl’s mouth was a pure source of hot deliciousness, flexing and flicking against the apex of her shoulder, leaving a liquid line of fire down to the crook of her neck.

“You piss me off, ya know that?” He grated it right into her ear and she couldn’t stop the moan it caused, he bit lightly on the cartilage and she wiggled back into him, allowing him better leverage to touch wherever he wanted.

“You keep sayin’ that.” She groaned softly, as his questing teeth landed in the flesh of her shoulder, fingers and thumb twisting a nipple to the point of pain. 

His arm under hers, he effectively blocked her from getting her own hold on him as his mouth moved back to her ear. “’Cause you keep fuckin’ doin’ it.”

She tried to turn, wanted to pull that shirt off his back, pull those sweats clinging to his hips out of the way, but his bicep flexed and that’s all it took to keep her in place as he dropped his hand slightly to make the same aching mess of her other breast as he had the first one.

“Didn’t mean for you to hear the song, I swear.” She wasn’t quite sure  _ why _ she was swearing anything, just knew she didn’t want the corded expanse of his forearm to disappear from under her hand, the hardened body from her back, even the merciless fingers from her nipple, but specifically and most importantly – the voice in her ear – that needed to stay  _ right _ where it was.

“Ain’t even talkin’ about that.” He muttered, breath buffeting lightly against her shell, his body shifting uncomfortably behind her, hips nudging against her butt a little. “Layin’ next to me buck ass naked, m’over here tryin’ t’ stay mad goddamn it.”

“M’sorry.” She mumbled, circling her hips back into him, exhaling loudly when his pinching and rolling of her pebbled skin changed to his heavier kneading. 

His face was in her hair, she could feel the gusting heat of his exhales, the snag of his whiskers on her silkier strands. “Hell you are, tossin’ yer damn bra in my face, Christ.” He moved until his scruff was back to tickling along her ear, growling at her while massaging her chest again with a pressure that made her squirm. “Ya know how much I like havin’ these tits in my mouth girl, don’ fuckin’ act like you don’.”

She wasn’t sure what to say, if she  _ could _ say, which response was the right one, which one would have him turning her over and doing exactly what he was saying he liked so much to do?

Turned out, her needy little humming was what he’d been looking for, she felt the mattress against her back and sighed happily when he moved immediately between her legs, head dipping to drag a quick lick over one erect nipple before moving to do the same with the other, sucking the flesh into his mouth and making her arc into him with another gasping noise that made him murmur back to her. 

“Daryl, c’mon.” She pleaded a little, bunching his shirt in her hands, even as she pressed up against him with her hips. “Just like this mornin’ please, can we?”

He nodded quickly, mouth releasing her flesh with a little sucking noise, doing the work for her this time, stripping his shirt quickly over his head, shoving the sweats to near his knees before covering her once again. This was good, she liked this, couldn’t hardly get enough of it, wanted to bawl at him, hard and easing along her slit, the barriers remaining barely worth the mention as he teased against her nerves.

His stuttering snapping thrusts from this morning were back, moving into a smoother motion as she pulled him up into a kiss. If he didn’t want to go further, that was fine, she licked into his mouth and sucked hard on his tongue, feeling the wet of her steady want start to creep down her lips, seeping slowly into her lavender colored panties. She wanted more, wanted all of it, wanted to see just how much that hard length of him would fill her.

But she could wait, she loved him, and she could wait no matter how long he took to know it was ok to fuck her like he wanted, whatever it was that was hanging him up that he couldn’t seem to put into words. She wrapped her legs around his hips, pivoting back and forth in time to his increasing pressure and pace.

Good Lord, as it was she might come just from this.

He ripped his mouth from hers and she sucked in a conscious saving breath, panting loudly as he let out something that sparked into her awareness, something too close to a whine, she knew the sound, made it often and loudly – tried not to be embarrassed about how involuntary it was.

Daryl’s head went to her collar bone, refusing to budge when she tugged at his still dampened hair, fingers sliding through without purchase until she was able to dig her fingers along his scalp, a rumbling moan vibrated into her but she was still unable to pull his face to where she could check on him. 

A straining arm on one side of her disappeared suddenly and he was pressing a thumb against her throbbing clit, making her thrust up into him harder, the sounds and noises leaving her were high and panicky without her actually feeling an ounce of the emotion. He circled the spot a few times, no doubt grinding a knuckle or two into himself as he continued his sliding motions against her.

There was fumbling that she couldn’t see, air that hit her like a whip, making her suck in a startled lungful before he was edging his way inside her. And it definitely  _ wasn’t _ his fingers, she felt shock swamp her, something akin to their first kiss but inexplicably larger. She should be stopping him, not because she didn’t want him doing what he was, she wanted it so bad she could feel the tears prick her eyes. It was him, he hadn’t wanted to this morning…but  _ now _ he was grunting with each inch of him that sunk into her.

She thought about it, she did, but then he hit something mildly uncomfortable, teeth latched into her collarbone and he pushed the rest of the way in, drawing a startled moaning yelp from her. It was hard to breathe for a few moments, even with his arms bracing him mostly off of her, and then the longer he stayed still the more she didn’t want him to. But it was…he felt like every unsure broken bit of her that’d been chipped off, like he’d been holding the parts of her that she couldn’t keep with her all the time – thought she’d lost, but he’d kept them safe.

Daryl started moving, and it was just like the times they’d done this  _ without _ him being inside her, started with shallow little questioning thrusts, before turning into the snapping ones that had her hitching in and expelling air in fits and bursts. She had no idea about size or technique, but every pulsing piece of him that stroked against her clenching walls felt barely as much as she could take, even as she used her legs’ hold on his hips to tentatively meet his movements.

She’d thought it’d hurt, but after that one point, all she felt was nerve crackling pleasure.

He felt the way he tasted, fucking amazing, and she clung to his broad shoulders as he puffed unsteady pants against her chest and sternum. There were so many things she should be thinking about right now, questions, concerns, - they lapped lightly at her consciousness but couldn’t seem to make it passed the perfectly hard dick inside her, sliding against her nervous system with harder and more uneven strokes, or the slabs of muscles that bunched and flexed under her gripping fingers. 

He was a warm weight covering her, stretching her, threatening to rip her apart with every thrust, promising that she’d  _ fucking love it _ when he did.

She was climbing towards something frame shattering – muscles clenching around him experimentally – when he huffed a breath that from a smaller set of lungs might have been considered a gasp. And then he was pulling out of her quickly, a warm splashing spill of liquid hit her stomach, making her freeze, confused. 

He took a few more gulping inhalations, and then it was like she could feel him begin to collapse in on himself. The shoulders she still held began to hunch and his limbs were slinking back towards his torso, pulling away from her.

“Daryl?” She went to touch his face, only to have him rear away from her, yanking up his pants before shoving himself up to standing. 

Beth couldn’t quite catch up to this sudden development, she was still feeling the tightening at her core, her vaginal muscles clenching like mad against the hollowness inside her, where once slick heat and rocking pleasure had been.

He’d fled once again to their dresser, braced himself against it and looked to be shaking.

The sweat on her skin made her shiver and she drew her legs together, that almost crying feeling was scraping at her again, and she rolled quickly to get her feet underneath her, ignoring the underwear that were caught painfully to one side of her lower lips. Taking jerking hesitant steps to him she touched his exposed side lightly, lip catching desperately between her teeth when he cringed away from her.

He looked wrecked, it was the song all over again and she didn’t know what to say, she should have stopped him…

“Please don’t…” She looked up at the face he wouldn’t turn her way, but from the half hidden profile looked a shocking shade of red. “I just had…it was my first time Daryl.” He shrank at her words and she kept going, for lack of a better plan. “I didn’t mean t-to…” She swallowed the sob and panic threatening to steal her voice. “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have kept going when you weren’t ready, you just felt so good I-”

Daryl let out a ragged sound that silenced her, the black blown blues peeked her way before skidding back to his hands that clutched the expensive wood of the dresser, fingers looking to break or be broken. 

“Yer alrigh’?” His voice was thick enough, she worried for a moment he was about to be sick, and instead of abating, her confusion only grew. “I didn’…I didn’ hurt you?”

She blinked up at him, hazy mind trying to focus on what his body and mouth were telling her. 

“Fuckin’ didn’ ask you or nothin’, heard ya cry an’ still kept goin’.” Throat working hard, he glanced back at her, tracked the lines of her face, scars and the furrow between her brows. “M’a piece a’ shit Beth, it ain’t supposed t’be like that.”

His face crumpled before smoothing, and she knew she’d been wrong to think he was mad  _ at her _ for what had just happened. Man seemed one harsh statement away from breaking into tears, she had to fix this. It wasn’t the most important thing, that it had been her first time. That it hadn’t gone exactly like maybe either one of them had planned. He certainly had  _ not _ hurt her, not any more than the act warranted, and she didn’t think Daryl  _ capable _ of forcing anyone into anything. 

Especially not her.  

“Good- _ ness _ Daryl.” She breathed, reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder. “You get short term memory loss in your old age?” He didn’t even have the energy or grumpiness to glare at her for the teasing dig. “I was tryin’ to talk  _ you _ into it just this mornin’.”

“Doesn’ mean I can jus’ do that shit, not without askin’ ya. First time. I couldn’ even-” Daryl’s teeth snapped shut over what he’d been about to say, eyes dropping to her stomach before cutting away hurriedly. 

His face hadn’t even thought about going down in color.

“You…” Her face warmed and she hoped for some reason he’d see it, so he wouldn’t feel alone in his awkwardness of the situation. “You…uh, went off early?” There was no way she was going to be using the actual term with him, didn’t care if it made her less of an adult, they’d both die of embarrassment.

He shrugged and shook his head, but his eyes darted to her and away, cheek probably bleeding from the pressure he seemed to be exerting on it with his teeth – so she kind of didn’t believe him – but wouldn’t count it as a lie.

“Ain’t hurt ya though?” His voice was so low she could barely hear him, leaned in with her face resting on his bicep, tilted up to look at him while her fingers made soothing passes down his back and across his shoulders.

She waited until he was able to drag his gaze to hers. “Only when you left me layin’ there on my own, thought I’d pissed ya off again.” His expression went a little more miserable, before he carefully raised the arm she was pillowing her face on, moved it to hook around her neck and pull her close.

“M’sorry, wasn’ nothin’ you did.” He angled their bodies so that she could tuck her still naked chest against his, lay her head under his chin. “Fuckin’ disgusted m’self, couldn’ stand the thought a’ touchin’ ya…after thinkin’ I’d hurt ya.” His throat worked against her forehead and Beth took one of the hands she’d had fisted under her chin and reached to grasp onto the wrist that dangled off her shoulder close to her face.

“Daryl.” She didn’t want this, him regretting what they’d just done, sure she hadn’t finished, but it had been so amazing for the time it’d lasted. All she wanted was him, it didn’t matter to her if they  _ ever _ worked this part out, but she knew they would. 

He was punishing himself again, and he shouldn’t be, not for this – not for most the things he put on his shoulders either. Even now, he was talking more than she’d  _ ever _ expect him to. Trying to explain things to her so she wouldn’t do what  _ he _ was so good at, making everything bad that happened, his fault.

“Shit that you told me about Grady, means I should’a done tha’ differently, should’a anyway ‘cause I…”  Throat clearing, he stalled out, and she wondered what made him feel like he couldn’t say it out loud, that he loved her. Wanted to ask, poke at it, but he was already trying so hard. She’d have to leave it alone for now. “I keep fuckin’ this up Beth.”

“Well, I liked it.” She felt him tense against her, wanted to tell him how wrong he was, but sometimes it felt like she could remind Daryl Dixon he was a good man until she was blue in the face and he still wouldn’t listen. Now and then she just had to show him, convince him with her actions that she wasn’t just talking to hear her own voice or something. “Can’t wait ta’ do it again, actually.”

“Beth-” He quieted immediately when she slanted her head back and pressed her mouth to the underside of his gritting jaw. 

“Will ya touch me Daryl?” His other hand came to land shakily on her hip, she licked along his neck, sucking some of the tanned flesh into her mouth gently. “I want you to.”

His breathing started to sound like old TV static as she moved her attentions to the hollow of his neck, tongue and lips taking time to taste him, even dropping her hold on his wrist so she could wrap it lightly around the column of his throat, gripping languidly at the hot flesh to keep him in place. If anything, he tightened the flexing arm draping her shoulders, hand fisting next to her chin while she moved along the twitching skin above his collar bone. 

Sinking her teeth in a little, she let out an answering noise to his grunt, feeling the phantom pain on her own collar bone where he’d bitten her earlier. She wrapped her other arm around his waist and squeezed him tight, heart hiccupping at the way his fingers dug into her. 

“Did I feel alright to ya?” Part of her was encouraging him to get out of his head and stop blaming himself for something she refused to see as a bad thing. And part of her, a little uncertain part that worried over things she knew she shouldn’t – really wanted to know, needed to hear what  _ especially _ Daryl thought. “You like bein’ inside me Daryl?”

He let out a hoarse rumbling noise as she continued her ministrations to the front of his shoulder.

“Mess on yer stomach don’ tell ya nothin’ girl?” Her hold on his neck tightened a fraction before slackening quickly, she didn’t know if he’d like that, if it’d freak him out. 

Bantering was easier, even more so when she was able to hide her pink cheeks where he couldn’t see them. At least he was talking back to her, had lost some of that negative tension, was leaning his face against her hair.

“Me clenchin’ around yer dick didn’t tip you off I was happy to be fuckin’ ya?”  

He started a little against her, back muscles jumping in surprise, and then he was pulling her back to ram his mouth into hers, lightening the pressure as he opened his jaw and slipped a tongue in her mouth. She felt him moving into her and stepped back, turning slightly, letting him walk her backwards towards the bed. 

Daryl removed his arm from her shoulders and pushed her back until she was lifting her legs hurriedly to knee walk her way back on the mattress, watching raptly as he stripped off both pants and underwear and followed after her.

“You can’t?” She tried to question, knew something about the basics to figure he couldn’t possibly be ready again, but he just wove his hands in her loose hair and pulled her in to slant his mouth over hers once more.

She was directed through his little touches, on her side and shoulder, to lie down. Did so happily, tried to get a control on her breathing as he reached down and with gentle motions, peeled her panties down her body, tossing them indiscriminately to one side.

“Nah, only  _ one _ of us is a teenager still.” He informed her quietly, and she resolutely kept her cradle robbing jibe in her head, because she was cheeky not stupid. “Like t’ feel all of ya I can though, skin’s downy as a chick, woman.”

She smiled up at him as he settled over her with a familiarity that made her oddly pleased, near playful as she sassed him. “Covered in feathers?”

“Soft.” He murmured, emphasizing his point by dropping his head and rubbing a stubbled cheek in between her breasts, making the hold she had on his biceps spasm. He braced an arm next to her head, glided a hand down her ribs and stomach, kissing her shallowly before stopping with his knuckles grazing the hair of her mound.

“Haven’ done this.” The admission brought her up a little short, didn’t irritate her or anything but, she’d for some strange reason been banking on him knowing how to do the things like this that she didn’t. He wasn’t asking her to show him, and she knew that he wouldn’t for either pride or bashfulness, that he was leaving it up to her to offer.

Trying to think she raised her head to kiss him again, catching his bottom lip with both of hers as she pulled away. “I’ve never been able to…it doesn’t work for me when I do it to myself.”

He rose up a little in surprise, looking down at her shifting uncomfortably beneath him. “Ain’t ya never…” Daryl blinked at her several times, and she waited while the gears turned in his head, whirred around in his eyes. “You tellin’ me you ain’t never came?”

“’Course I have.” She defended a little snappishly.

More clicking switches and spinning parts. “Boyfriend?”

“No.” She could feel the warmth pouring off her face, moved her hands from his arms to her cheeks to cool them, returned his questioning look the best she could. “I had a’…a’ back massager at the farm, but I never put nothin’ inside, an’ I didn’t let anyone do…do that, this.”

He was a good person not to rib her about suddenly turning so skittish for having just been the one being so brave and talkative, it was quite a different experience now that he was the one making her squirm, and he wasn’t even trying to.

“We ain’t fuckin’ doin’ none a’ this like we should.” He groused a little, scanning down her body and back, before snorting to himself a little. “Least I ain’t a’ total dumbass, thought ya felt tight enough t’ damn near snap m’dick off.”

Her lungs convulsed and he twitched his lips a little at her, ears reddening even as her own face went back to feeling tight and near painful with its burning. Beth looked at him a little pleadingly as he bent down and laid small kisses on the too warm flesh. Daryl then moved his attention to her mouth, kissing her slow for a moment as he twisted his arm until he could press the heel of his hand against her hood, circling lightly.

He was obviously trying to recreate the sensations that she’d liked from this morning, and Beth quickly knew that nothing had changed since then, chasing his arm’s length she clutched at his hand with hers. The feeling of the worn and rough skin working nearly as much as his careful movements did to work her up, she was starting to feel a little sore, but it was that sweet kind of stiff muscles, and she didn’t hesitate to pivot her hips against him.

A broad finger eased between her clenching lips and he huffed against her cheek as he dipped inside her. She could feel the easy passage he had – she was still so wet and swollen. Her unsteady gasps of air were in direct correlation to his, as he fucked her slowly with first the one digit before adding the second. Spreading them inside her, Beth knew he was feeling every tautly gripping inch of her, prodding experimentally, gathering up each breath in her and trapping it with the inward thrust, releasing it with the retreat.

Daryl’s movements were focused and deliberate, she somehow got the feeling even as the trembling waves of pleasure lapped at her, that he was enjoying his exploration of her. Rubbing along her walls, nuzzling along her jaw and ear, repeating the motions when they received a whine or moan – a hitching lungful or clenching pull. He hooked his fingers and Beth let out a guttering sound from the back of her throat, thighs attempting to vise him into place as her hips lifted without thought or conscious command.

His name clipped off the tip of her tongue, and he groaned in response, picking up speed as she sensed him thrusting slightly against their twined arms. Face dug into her neck, she felt his grunt when she unclenched from his surging hand to wrap her fingers around his semi-hard cock that’d been rubbing against her thigh.

“Ain’t gonna do nothin’ for ya girl.” He warned her, sounding too focused on getting his thumb into position to flick against her throbbing clit to care if she knew that he were unable to get himself fully hard again.

Her first few attempts to speak turned into – tongue to the roof of the mouth sounds that didn’t quite convey what she was trying to tell him – even as she continued to stroke him in time to his movements inside her.

“Doin’-” She made an involuntary noise, somewhere between a laugh and a cry, had to start over again as she twisted her neck to press a cheek to his hair. “Doin’ plenty for me as it is.”

His hips bucked forward into her hand and she was close, so very close. “So goddamn tight an’ wet.” He turned his head a little, whiskers and lips smashing themselves against her ear. “Didn’ think I’s gonna be able  _ t’get _ m’fuckin’ dick inside ya.”

She could only moan, babble about how big he’d felt, how amazing, how he was the only one she’d ever want between her thighs. She came with a cry that snapped her spine into a hard curve, shoved her head back into the pillow as her body convulsed from the place where his fingers still plunged in and out of her. The first cry wasn’t her last and she ended up biting her hand by the base of her thumb, eyes forcing wet trails out from behind shut lids as she rode the orgasm and its aftershocks out.

Daryl’s hand had slowed until he finally stilled, breathing as raggedly or more so, on top of her now than he had while having his cock inside her. The member in question was pulsing steadily in the hand that had managed not to squeeze it too painfully while she came. He might still not be totally ready to go again, but she bet if she gave it only a little more time he could get that way, not that she was looking to try out the theory right now.

Her heart was slamming around so hard, it felt like it was vibrating her teeth, knocking into her organs. She needed to up her cardio or something, it hadn’t been that long since the prison, was she getting out of shape? A deep humming came from beside her ear and she had to swallow down another moan. She watched from behind heavy lids as he pushed himself up to look down at her, stilled at whatever he saw there.

She probably was a bit of a sight, teeth still clenched into the side of her hand, eyes unable to open fully, hair fanning all around, and her cheeks had a steady warmth that put them somewhere between a dark pink and light red. He pulled his fingers from inside her while his eyes flicked around her face, sticking both glistening digits in his mouth, gaze meeting hers as he licked them clean.

When he was satisfied he’d gotten all of her he could, his gestures and the look on his face trying to send her pulse bungee jumping into the abyss once more, he leaned down and with his teeth snagged onto her pinky and jerked until she removed her rigid hold. Vaguely registered the deep pink rows of indention that ran in crescents on the top and bottom of her hand, before he dropped his own hold and pressed his mouth to hers. Their tongues met once or twice lazily, before he parted them and rolled to the side of her.

He lay on his back, and after a moment of collecting and realigning her thoughts, of recapturing the ability  _ to _ think, she let her head drop to the side to look at him. Even though it had managed to get dark while they’d been carrying on, she could see him perfectly, all sharp features and bristling hair, his eyes were steadily watching her, waiting as she wound down.

“Well, you managed to salvage  _ the fuck _ out of tonight Mr. Dixon.” His look of uncertainty developed slowly into one of relief and then perhaps even a little pride, mouth and jaw moving a little until he jerked a chin at her, eyes going down towards his shoulder after he did.

“C’mon.” 

“M’sticky.” Her warning only earned her a scoff.

“Don’ give a fuck, git yer ass over here.” She gladly took the invitation and wrapped herself along his side, resting her head on his chest, in the slight dip between shoulder and pec. “Ya keep cursin’ like that, I’mma catch no end a’ shit.”

“From who?’ She questioned unconcernedly, wiggling into a more comfortable position against him, lifting a knee to relax against a slightly jutting hip bone. “Maggie?”

“Everybody.” He muttered back quietly, readjusting his hold to encompass more of her back, fingers splaying her ribs. “Beth?”

“Hmmm?”

“Didn’ have a rubber on…before.”

She’d known this, it was one of the things that had been in her – things she should be but couldn’t be concerned about – list. Twisting her neck she pressed a kiss to his chest before snuggling back into him.

“I know.” He was quiet, and she knew he was going from sleepy and satisfied like she was, to cursing himself and freaking out. “We’ll get some, but you pulled out, an’ with my body bein’ the way it is…well we’ll have to wait I guess, but I’m…” She didn’t know the best way to put this, hoped he wouldn’t get too irritated at her. “M’just happy right now, Daryl.”

His other hand came to lace with the one she had laying on his stomach, and he was quiet again, but it felt like a better quiet, which she knew didn’t make any kind of sense but it’s what she knew to be true.

“Whaddaya mean, with the way your body is? Fuck’s wrong with your body?” She smiled into his skin at his grumbling tone, nuzzling the warm expanse under her cheek.

“Just woman stuff Daryl, don’t worry about it, ain’t sick or nothin’.”

“Woman stuff.” He snorted slightly, shifting deeper into the mattress, not sounding embarrassed about the idea at all. 

She rose up to look at him, eyes gone to a deeper blue now that the black had gone back to its place. His gaze was firm but easy as it met hers, and she wondered if there was ever going to come a time when he didn’t surprise her. 

“Think we’ll be ok is all.” He bobbed an accepting nod, biting the inside of his bottom lip until she tightened her hold on his hand. 

“Ain’t worried, ‘bout me givin’ ya nothin’?”

He was going to break her heart with the look he was giving her, and she was still too happy to have that happen right now, pushing herself up a little wobbly, she moved over him until she could taste his lips, kissed him until she couldn’t think once again.

“About as much as you are of me doin’ the same.”

He bumped his nose into hers and she smiled against his mouth.

“G’on t’sleep B-Beth.” She moved back to grin a little at his stutter, ducking her head at his heatless glare.

“G’night D-Daryl.”

He yanked at her hand, upsetting her precarious balance, and she wiggled her way back to where she’d been, half laying on him. The liquefied lead in her marrow weighed her down quickly and she drifted off with the same repeating mantra resounding in her mind.

_ I love him, I love him, I love him     _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I claim no real creativeness on my part for that first time, I basically took that interview with Norman from a while back, the one I'm sure most all of us have seen, and did my spin on what he wanted to have happen. 
> 
> Sorry if it was overly awkward or anything, but I was trying to make it a little...eh whatevs y'all know the drill, I love all the feedback, even if you didn't like it, I'm interested in discussing the why. So let me know either way. ^.^
> 
> Oh and also - Disclaimer: I do not own or have anything to do with If I Die Young by The Band Perry.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Morning after thoughts with Daryl, and the two of them working out self control and boundaries and all that fun stuff...Real talk, I'm not looking to write straight smexy scenes from here on out or anything, but with the way the show and the plot I have worked out goes, I'm just saying, if it seems a little much for the next few chapters just think of it as the honeymoon period or something before shit begins to hit the fan again.
> 
> Also school is starting soon and when that happens I will miss you all lol. Might have to go into hiatus depending on how crazy classes get.
> 
> Happy reading y'all.

**Chapter 23**

A half warm force burrowed into his side and Daryl felt his mouth curve.

Who knew getting woken up repeatedly could make him so happy? He cracked a lid open to see what position she was in this time, smirked some more to see her pressing her spine against him from ribcage to hip.

Rolling carefully, he draped an arm over her side, curling a wrist around her stomach, rubbing across the dried tacky remains of him on her skin. Tucking his fingers slowly between her side and the mattress, he tried to beat down the arousal he felt at having his come adhering them together. _Tried_ to focus instead on something like, how her regular tossing and turning had relocated itself to his immediate vicinity as of last night.

Last night.

He’d fucked Beth Greene last night.

Daryl cringed at the thought feeling her shimmy, completely unconscious, back into him which had him tightening his hold in apology. She settled down and continued breathing deeply with little fists clenched under her chin. Technically, that was what he’d done, but any and all of the usual bullshit terminology he’d heard regarding the act didn’t seem to come close to what he’d _actually_ done with Beth last night. His head couldn’t settle on a description that didn’t make him want to either scoff or cringe again, and risk waking her.

Maybe if he…if he thought about how much he’d _loved_ fucking her…maybe he could just try getting out of his head long enough to revel in it, before the day started and he had to go back to dealing with Alexandrian bullshit. And he had, loved it, girl drove him insane. The whole day had been a shifting mess of emotion, from the moment he’d become aware of his arms wrapping her up and her smell soaking him.

She’d wanted him then, and he would have, probably with as little restraint as he’d shown last night, but he’d still felt the shifting dirt and oil covering him. Been easy enough to see the smudges and streaks his body had left across hers as he’d humped her like a rutting buck. It hadn’t seemed to faze her, but then Rick had come knocking and it hadn’t really occurred to him to tell her the _why_ of him not wanting to. Not to mention he still hadn’t managed to get his hands on any rubbers, so they wouldn’t (in his mind at the time) be _able_ to do what they were both obviously wanting to.

He’d thought at the time she’d gotten what he was talking about, she’d accepted so quickly, and he’d had to go see to Rick…But after everything, lying in bed with her sleeping, sticky and glorious against his side, he’d replayed the conversations they’d had and knew shit had gotten kittywampus as fuck. With each of them too worried about the other to figure out what the hell was _actually_ going on.

He _guessed_ that’s what happened when people loved each other as hard as him and Beth did.

 _Knew_ she loved him, even if she hadn’t said it, wasn’t ready or thought he’d freak. Just another conversation to have another day. Daryl didn’t need her to _say_ the shit to feel it every time she kissed him like she did, cursed his name, making it the best sounding thing he’d ever heard in his whole damn life. It was that love that’d had him beside himself after…after he’d…

_Fuck._

Wasn’t…it _wasn’t_ rape, he hadn’t forced her…didn’t know why his goddamn head was wired to make him feel like shit over anything it could. He’d just gotten so caught up in the feel and scent of her, the way she’d hissed his name and moved underneath him. He’d tasted the want of her, and his whole body and mind had cried at him in a way he’d never experienced in his entire lifetime.

He’d never wanted, _needed_ , to fuck someone like he had Beth at that moment. And it hadn’t mattered suddenly that he didn’t have any protection. That he hadn’t checked, double checked, fuck – triple _fucking_ checked – that she still wanted him. It could have been such a disaster if she didn’t…if she wasn’t…if she hadn’t already been so ready for him.

Already hard, due to the morning and her being snuggled against him, Daryl avoided the instinct to rock into her. Cock twitching against his still naked stomach, he closed his eyes remembering, god had she been a sweet squeeze to work his way into. No amount of imagination could have _ever_ prepared him for Beth Greene’s tight little pussy straining around his dick. Wet and weeping her walls had held him so hard he thought bottoming out alone was going to make him come.

Throat muscles working, Daryl lifted his lids, but that had been the second time he’d fucked up majorly in the space of moments, that little cry – made him sick how hard he was while thinking about it – had to tell himself it was because he knew _now_ that she’d wanted him. That if he actually _had_ hurt her, really hurt her, like that fucker had tried to…Well, it wasn’t something she’d have to worry about happening twice because he’d fuckin’ off himself as penance.

So he needed to just…just calm down, she’d seemed happy. No. She’d outright fucking _told_ him she was happy. And maybe it hadn’t lasted long enough, but he’d made up for it, made her feel good by some post-apocalyptical miracle. She’d been stretched around his fingers…the memory made him swallow too hard, flex his arm a little around her as the rest of the night’s events played for him again. He’d made her come, _he’d_ done that, just like she had for him.

Beth murmured muzzily, and Daryl fixed hooded eyes on her hair and half the profile of her face he could see. She pushed back against him a little, twisting so her right shoulder dug into his chest, ass cheek pressing into his hard-on, before settling once again with a sigh, arm dropping down the length of her body to lay a hand on his forearm. Unable to help himself, Daryl, propped himself up slightly with his free arm, shaggy head resting against his closed fist.

Watched as her head lolled in his direction and she breathed in deep, prior movements uncovering those perky little tits that were hardening now with the air hitting them.

_Goddamn it._

He really needed to find some fuckin’ rubbers, like now, he was pulsing against her and the rigidity was getting near painful. His thumb stroked the soft flesh along her side, couldn’t seem to help it really, with all the other things he was wanting to do with her – it seemed like a small trade in the long run.

He’d never stood a chance against her, not from the goddamn _second_ she decided she wanted him in this way. With that moonshine smile and heart big enough to kick start his own three sizes too small Grinch of a thing knocking around his ribs. Cracked right through him, laser focused straight through every defense he thought he’d been sure of.

Blue eyes blinked open slowly, he shouldn’t have kept rubbing his damn thumb back and forth, but even now as her gaze focused on him, Daryl still didn’t stop the actions. Tilted his head as he looked down at her, tongue making a circuit around his mouth as he did, body heating further when her cheeks stained themselves a nice shade of pink. Beth squeezed his forearm, lips thinning until she was smiling, and just like that he wanted to die.

Felt his chest twisting, fracturing the bone and tearing the muscle, as she stretched in his hold, arms going over her head and lithe body pulling taught. He ran the palm of his hand over her stomach as she moved, tongue slipping out to drag dry against his bottom lip. Crested one side of her ribs, ghosted an index finger and thumb pad across the bottom of one peaked mound, feeling it like a tug in his gut when her breath hitched.

“G’morning.” She whispered quietly, shifting her hips, eyes flashing at him when her ass cheek pressed firmly against him. Even now, after being inside her, he couldn’t help the heat that trickled up his neck and around the shells of his ears.

“Mornin’.” Daryl’s mouth quirked, eyes narrowing playfully at her grin when she heard the gravel in his tone, or maybe it was the fact that she’d woken to him being fuckin’ hard against her, like he’d been waiting here patiently for another chance to slide it in.

Smile broadening, Beth turned to lay her back flush to his heated chest, Daryl tried not to give into the almost overwhelming feeling of protective possessiveness that flooded through him when she pulled his arm around her until he was almost touching his own stomach with his fingertips.  She slotted her frame to his, air kicking around his throat when she arched her ass just slightly against his dick.

Lowering his head some, he scraped whiskers and lips along the back of her shoulder, giving in finally to the urge of rocking his hips against her. He liked listening to her, the little sounds she made, the stuttering intake of her lungs, sliding of her teeth when she gritted them and pushed against him once again. They couldn’t do this goddamn it, once, that was the heat of the moment shit that’d fuck someone over every time. But not twice, not back to back, after he _just_ got done going over all that shit in his head.

“Jesus, you feel _so_ _good_ Daryl.”

 _Fuck_.

“Hmmm?”

It was the only thing he could manage to get out, tongue edging out of his mouth to trace the sweeping lines along her throat, connect the little patch of freckles he found near the apex of her shoulder. She was moving his arm, pushing it farther down the length of her body, all the while rotating her hips in a way that was cutting off any kind of blood flow to anything north of the cock rubbing shining trails of pre-come all over the tops of her ass cheeks and the base of her spine.

“Can we…” She left the question hanging even as she guided his hand over her mound, making him use his teeth a little where he had been laving open mouthed kisses.

_No the fuck we cannot._

Fingers still being moved steadily, Daryl felt his mind give a funny kind of wobble, like he’d had cable but the shit was experiencing heavy interference and he could no longer get a clear picture, damn thing happened soon as his padded tips slicked across her clit. Fuckin’ coincidence right there. Beth sighed, leaving him to his own devices only once she seemed certain he wasn’t going to stop or pull away.

“How’re you feelin’?” He asked raggedly, middle and index fingers slipping down her plush folds, sliding back up to pinch lightly at the bundle of nerves that made her cry out lowly.

She’d just had her first time last night, had his dick and fingers inside her – _had felt fucking amazing, can’t wait to thrust right into that velvety fuckin’ hole of hers_ – he needed to make sure she wasn’t sore or pushing herself too far. He couldn’t risk being a person that brought her pain, didn’t like the idea of the amount he’d already produced that was largely unavoidable.

“M’fine Daryl, _c’mon_.”

_Pussy’s already gettin’ wet, barely fuckin’ touched ‘er yet._

He let out a grumbling growl from deep in his throat, he couldn’t…but if she…could get her off at least, take care of himself later. Or maybe she’d want to do it for him. He just had to keep his head as straight as he could.

“Can’ fuck ya Beth.” She gave a short whine, and Daryl couldn’t tell if she knew she was fucking murdering him between the restless movement of her hips, or the new hold she’d gained on his hair, but his breath was beginning to whoosh out of him – stomach muscles flexing painfully against her back.

He worked a finger inside her, air leaving him altogether to feel her clench at the digit like she wasn’t willing to let it go. Beth’s grip on his hair tightened until he gritted his teeth against her neck, eyes slit open to see the desperate flex of her curved arm, the hardened rosy peaks of her tits that jumped and heaved as his pace inside her quickened by degrees.

She was helping to grind the flat of his palm against her hood, hips bucking now and then, when he hit a place or two that she really liked. One of these had her yanking his head unintentionally, and she dropped her flexing hold as he bit her trap muscle, moaning and running apologetic fingers through his dampening locks.

“Just a little, wantcha inside, please, _please_ …”

_Awe hell._

His rhythm got jostled when she moved her arm from curling back around, fingers plunged into his hair holding his face against her shoulder, to wriggling between her side and his own straining arm. Making fluttering little grabs until she wrapped her small boned hand around his cock, making him roll out a guttering moan. This put Daryl in a bit of a shitty spot, either slide his fingers out of her to free himself, or keep along the current tract until she’d worked him passed thought or reason and he ended up making yet _another_ mistake with her.

God fucking damn it, it’d be so easy, move his hips back some, knock her hand away, hitch that leg of hers over his and slip right the fuck inside her. Beth’s slick was dripping down his fingers, coating the inside of her thigh, he wouldn’t hurt her – _could do it slow, real fuckin’ slow, bet she’d like it, make her moan ‘til she’s hoarse_ – he’d been able to pull out the first time and he was way more aware of what was going on this time.

Shaking his head against her, he latched his teeth into the first patch of skin he could find, biting down until the muscle and bone beneath twitched uncomfortably. Pulling out wasn’t good enough, he knocked up Beth Greene during the end of the goddamn world, he’d beat the shit out of himself before anyone else got a chance. Maybe before, maybe if they’d been able to find one another and all the reasons they shouldn’t work somehow got ignored, and she’d still wanted him and they were ready – maybe then kids with Beth would be a thing he’d have one day wanted, but now…

“Stop.” He pulled his fingers – the other two that had eased in one at a time after the first – out of her and felt the moisture swish between each touch of knuckle to knuckle. “Beth.”

She released him with shaking movements, and they both took at least a full minute to pant and shift around uncomfortably. And even then, he felt like if she were to make another noise of want, another sly press against his fuckin’ throbbing dick, he’d have said _fuck it_ and slid right the fuck home.

“S-sorry.” She breathed, shifting away from him, a decision he in no way condoned as the sudden lack of touch made his skin shiver. “You’re right, I…I don’t know what I was thinkin’…it’s like I’m tryin’ ta’ make up for lost time or somethin’.” He watched as she moved to the edge of the bed, tone embarrassed and head hanging.

 _Christ_.

_Nope, hell no._

Without a thought to consequence or past trauma Daryl snaked out an arm to hook her midriff and pull her gasping back onto the middle of the mattress with him. Dragging at her until she was slammed back once more against his chest.

“Hell’re you goin’?” He growled lowly, feeling as whatever motion she’d been about to make came up short, palming one pebbled tit he smiled slightly into her hair when he heard the answering moan. “Ain’t finished with you yet.”

“You…” Beth’s hand came to cover his as he kneaded the sensitive flesh. “God, that’s what ya said before,” she swallowed hard, cutting off her next word, “-member Daryl? Remember that?”

“Nah, tell me.” Murmuring the half-serious command, he pinched lightly at her nipple, thumbing the hardened flesh with an inward groan at its quick response. “You like it when I said it before?”

She was back to taking deep unsteady breaths through her parted lips, and he decided that he was rather liking this goddamn position, this was something to do again in the very, _very_ , near future when he had some motherfucking protection to wrap his dick with. His mind was half reeling through all the conversations they’d had that would have him saying that, hadn’t been anything recently that he could remember…but half of his attention was on stroking and sliding mildly tacky fingers down her quivering stomach to resume his interrupted work.

“Mhmmm.” Her head nodded emphatically, and he sucked and licked along her neck as encouragement and reward. “At the g-hu…” He hummed into her skin as his index finger slid back inside her, curling until she writhed and squirmed against him.

“Want me t’stop, s’you can tell me?” Words spoken directly against her ear, his arm flexing and mouth moving away as she shook her head quickly, the lithe body moving jerkily until he inserted another finger and continued thrusting in and out of her steadily.

“Gas station,” Beth hissed at last, her hand clenching his wrist until their bones ground together as he circled her clit once more with his palm, “after your fight w-with, after all that, I was gonna leave an’ ya ahh-” Her face was starting to screw up, half a smile, half a grimace twisting her mouth, two little lines between her brows. “Told me.” This was fucking amazing. He was trying not to let that proud male thing get too out of control, but shit, maybe he wasn’t the _best_ at this, but as long as he could cause those faces and sounds when he did it…

“T’git yer ass back into the office.” He rasped, the memory coming swiftly back now. “Hadn’t had the chance t’get m’hands on ya.” Emphasizing the point, he pressed harder with his palm and curled his fingers inside her.

“Did ya want me then? Like this?” She half mumbled, arching against him, body tensing and walls starting to flutter and clench with his movements.

If there was a time he could be honest with her, could tell her anything, now was it, feeling a certain amount of powerful and humble with each stroke of his fingers. And he didn’t have to tell her the whole complicated bit about the touching bothering him at the time, she knew that in her own way anyhow. But had he wanted her then like he had her now?

“Fuck yeah I did girl.” He was back to rubbing his cock against her, forearm muscles flexing and straining as he pumped harder and quicker, feeling her tightening more and more, and he spoke the words gruffly into her pink hued ear. “Wanted ya bent over that fuckin’ desk, boosted up against the back wall, ridin’ m’fuckin’ dick ‘til ya came. Cryin’ for me the whole fuckin’ time.”

The tongue and throat noise she made, like the muscle was bunching at the back of her mouth restricting the sound, was almost enough to make him shoot his load all over her back. His attentions finally slowing and then stopping as she rode out the orgasm, and maybe she wasn’t crying his name while she did…but she sure as fuck was cursing it through gritted teeth, and that would do him just fine.

He pulled from her slowly, hearing the wet slide as she groaned at his loss, without a thought he brought the come covered fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean like they were covered in deer grease. His girl tasted delicious, and it gave him all sorts of ideas as she lay, taking deep shuddering breaths, next to him. Another first was occurring to him as her juices sluiced their way down his throat, air hitting his shining digits as he ran them down a quivering stomach.

Could be awful at it, Daryl figured, eyes scanning her damp mound hungrily. But then Beth had never sucked a cock before, and she’d been brave enough to try it with him. He pulled at her thigh a bit, moving back some to get a better look at her. Aching something awful, he did what he could to ignore his own want, the watering of his mouth taking precedent over the dull throb between his legs.

“Daryl.” Beth’s near whimper caught at his attention and he murmured a questioning grunt at her as he ran index and middle fingers up her slit, gathering what moisture he could before bringing the bounty back into his mouth. “Why didn’t you wanna, yesterday mornin’?”

Making up his mind, Daryl maneuvered her legs into a wider set before lifting himself up and taking position there, flicking quick eyes to her hooded questioning ones.

“Same fuckin’ reason we can’ this mornin’.” He informed her gruffly, easing his erection against the sheets, trying not to hiss at the friction. “Why we _shouldna’_ last night.” Her head bobbed in his peripheral vision and he checked one more thing off the list of things they needed to talk about, even as he ran a questing thumb along her blonde covered lips. “An’ I was still covered in a’ bunch a’ nasty shit…” He muttered at last, stilling when a small white hand laid itself over his darker one.

“How many times I gotta tell ya I don’t care about that?” She asked the question quietly, and it was all he could do to meet her still darkened gaze before he shrugged an answer.

It wasn’t hard for him to see how little he could offer a woman like Beth, least he could do was take a shower before she let him touch her, maybe it’d stop nagging at him so much after a while…but for now he was taking what steps he could to show her what it meant to him to be able to do what he was even _at this very moment_ doing.

Her fingers slid slowly away to her thigh, and Daryl could feel eyes on him as he once more pulled one fleshy lip to the side, peeking at the pink glistening skin below. His sharp hearing picked up her quavering breathing as he ducked his head to run an experimental tongue against what sweet tangy slickness he could. The sensation was intoxicating, let alone the flavor and smell of her, her half-choked gasp was more than enough to make him part her further with his other hand and repeat the movement once more.

Goddamn, he had the insane thought of rolling his whole fucking face against her shivering folds, inhaling her until he could find her in a crowded room, track her through a patch of woods like a fuckin’ bloodhound. Checking on her – hearing as the breath was sucking and huffing loudly from her gaping mouth as she watched him – Daryl did what he could to record the image of her splayed out in front of him. Eyelids fluttering, spots of color high on her cheeks, teeth flashing behind panting lips.

He was about to make a pass over her opening, clear to the swollen nub at the top, when a quiet knock sounded on their door and Daryl felt himself tense in agitation. Beth’s hand that had been clutching itself into her thigh, moved back to once more cover his own as she caught her heaving breath, he should move, he knew that, but then again she was making no motion to dislodge him and maybe this time the person on the other side of the door would do them a favor and go _the fuck_ away.

“Beth?” Maggie’s voice had him jerking his hands back like a shot, something akin to panic licking along his languid muscles making them harden. “You awake sis?”

“That’s _it_.” Beth breathed quietly, lids closing over wild hued blues. “We’re movin’.”

He barely got the chance to give a scoffing sound of reply when the second soft knock landed.

Scrambling a little, Beth extricated herself from him and hopped off the bed, Daryl watched closely as she tugged on clothing and cast a quick look at him. Understanding the silent command he turned and yanked the comforter up from the bottom of the bed and pulled the cover clear up to his chin before lying down. He’d have gone as far as closing his eyes, but there was no way that wouldn’t seem weird, that a knock on their door wouldn’t wake him.

He almost warned Beth that she wasn’t actually wearing a single scrap of _her own_ clothing, but she was already opening the door a crack to reveal the older Greene sister. Maggie’s eyes widened a bit, and Daryl was sure the blonde hair in a crazy halo, and the pink of her cheeks, was more telling than the fact that Beth had answered their door in his undershirt and boxers. He blinked slowly back at the startled looking brunette until she ripped her sight from his and looked at her sister once more.

“Sorry, I-” Maggie’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, some kind of intense sister look passed between the two before she continued. “Deanna’s wanting us to do some kind of gathering here at the house tomorrow night…for unity or somethin’, and I wanted your help with the plannin’ but I’ll uh…” Another quick glance was thrown his way and Daryl hoped his hair covered most of his flush.

“Wait for me downstairs?” Beth offered, sounding far calmer than he’d ever have been able to manage.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course.” Her sister answered with a jerking nod, eyes still on him. “Glad y’all worked things out alright.”

There was a moment of confusion before he realized the last time Maggie had been around them had been before he’d left with Aaron and he and Beth had had that fight. He couldn’t really even offer much of a nod to her statement, rescued as the woman wearing his clothes caught the brunette’s attention with some kind of expression he couldn’t see. Maggie’s eyes widened in response, some kind of grin or disbelieving look tightening her mouth, before she edged away from the doorway and his blue eyed savior shut the barrier with a click.

She turned and they spent a few moments looking at one another before a smile split her face and he felt his eyes narrow in response. Alright yeah, so he probably looked fuckin’ ridiculous covered up to the damn whiskers, nearly every inch of him hiding like a fornicating teenager under the damn blanket. But she didn’t have to look so fuckin’ pleased about it.

“I’m so sorry.” She said finally, crossing the space between them, her tone not quite covering the hint of laughter she kept in her chest.

His mouth was half open to say some kind of snarky ass reply, when she grabbed the comforter and hauled it off him. He hadn’t been expecting the sudden movement, and instead of making some flailing action to snag back his shielding or to cover himself like she hadn’t already seen everything as it was, Daryl chose to glare up at her as she moved to straddle him.

“Hell you think yer doin’?” He groused, not even pondering the idea of stopping her as she leaned down to slant her mouth against his.

“Apologizin’.” She murmured against his mouth, swallowing his answering hum. “Hopin’ you’ll be up for tryin’ what you were doin’ again some time.”

He gave her a chin dipping nod, blood reheating after their interruption, as she rolled her hips over his still hardened dick. Beth rewarded him with another bright smile before pressing a harder kiss to his willing lips. Fuck, did he ever need to find some goddamn condoms as soon as he possibly could. She’d managed to flick some kind of switch in his head and his body, it was all he could do not to flip her on her back and push his boxers out of the way, work out this fucking hard-on the way he wanted to.

“You gonna be alright?” The question was asked in a pant as she moved restlessly against him, hands moving to clench his shoulders. The heat from her cunt was almost more than he could handle, girl was really pushing his willpower to the limit, moving and feeling the way she did.

“Mhmmm.” He breathed out, tracing up the length of her thigh to press a thumb into her juncture, dick throbbing harder when she moaned quietly and pressed her clit against his assisting digit.

“Want me to…” A hand left his trap muscle to wrap around his painful length making him groan and shudder in her hold.

With the last scrap of his sanity, Daryl stilled her slow pumping actions, eyes cracking open to see her furrowed brow. Obviously they were both losing their shit, because not moments ago her _sister_ had been at their door and was at the moment waiting for her downstairs. And instead of getting dressed and hightailing it to the living room, Beth was mounted over him and working him like they had nothing else going on. And god did he want nothing else but to let her keep going the way she was.

“Git the hell outta here girl.” He growled, clasping the back of her neck and dragging their mouths together before releasing her. “Ain’t nothin’ I can’ handle. Yer already gonna catch an earful for openin’ the door in m’damn clothes.”

Beth blushed a little, looking down at herself, for the first time apparently realizing this to be the case. Eyes meeting, he watched her teeth work her bottom lip for a moment before she nodded and clambered off him. He flipped the comforter back over his stomach as he watched her book it into the bathroom, faucet sounding as she no doubt took a quick moment to wash off his sticky traces. Then she dressed and dragged a brush through her mangled locks.

Daryl was able to manage a tugging corner of his mouth when she stalled out by the room’s door, looking back at him, lips parted she looked about to say something before shaking her head, she exited with a silent whispering of clothes and air slipping passed the jamb.

It didn’t take long, leaning against the tiles of the bathroom a few moments later, buck naked in the shower with no water running, to get the fuck off at the memory of Beth clenching and shivering around him last night. Getting a handle on his breathing, Daryl turned on the tap, watching the remains of his small effort trickle down the drain before going about getting ready for the day.

Priority one: Find rubbers.

Everything else was kind of secondary in his mind, balancing what the community needed, making sure none of his people flew off the damn handle…again. He was just going to have to multitask this bitch, because trusting himself not to burry himself inside of Beth tonight wasn’t much of an option.

It was shockingly easy it turned out, barring the need for a small amount of theft, to acquire exactly what he needed. Damn Alexandrians had everything someone could need, including it turned out, condoms in various quantities and types. Only thing was, like everything else in the damn Safe-Zone, people were allotted a certain amount, and it was recorded who took what.

Fuck. That.

No way was he looking to have the townsfolk of goddamn Mayberry, know without a doubt that he was fucking Beth Greene. Nope. Not gonna happen, bad enough that probably every member of their family had a good idea of what was going on, or that Maggie was more than likely getting some amount of intimate detail about what had happened last night.

He shrugged away the knowledge even as he palmed one of the larger boxes and slipped it into one of his baggy pockets, all the while eyeing some mild antiseptic on another shelf in the non-grocery area of the goods that were open to the populace. The Greene sisters were close, and he wasn’t about to tell Beth what she could and couldn’t discuss with her family. Might incline her towards not allowing him anywhere near her, and that wasn’t worth the saving of any small amount of face when it came to his fumbling.

He could feel eyes on his back and knew the woman, Olivia, was watching him worriedly. He wasn’t doing much to make her nervous, but then, after everything that had went down with Rick and Pete…probably didn’t take much. Turning to look at her, he motioned sullenly towards the small bottle of antiseptic.

“Alrigh’ for me to take this?” Her eyes widened at his question, and Daryl did his best not to glare or look overly grumpy at the reaction.

“Y-yes of course, but if you’re hurt you should go to the infirmary.”

He resisted the urge to point out that the doctor was dead, that even if this wasn’t the case, he couldn’t be too fuckin’ hurt to be gazing for an unnecessarily long time at a travel sized bottle of antiseptic. Shrugging was good, safe, another nonthreatening gesture that earned him a hesitant smile in return.

 _Good_.

Didn’t want anyone questioning his sudden interest in checking out this area of the Alexandrian stores, with an answering nod he plucked the bottle off the shelf, waited for Olivia to write down his name and what he’d taken, before heading back home. He tried to tamp down the nervous flighty feeling in his stomach, damn thing was close to giddy, and that wasn’t an emotion he was used to entertaining.  

Entering the house, he passed the living room where Beth and Maggie were still seated, discussing the newest asinine bonding exercise that the town’s leader found necessary for some reason, even after the death of a good number of her family. He guessed it was supposed to help with the loss of a lot of the community’s morale. Whatever, he wasn’t much of one for pep talks or shindigs, he’d kill something and bring the meat if they wanted. That was the extent he was willing to involve himself in the party planning.

In the kitchen he found Carol and Glenn, the two also seemed to be in mid-discussion, but let up immediately when they laid eyes on him. He jerked an acknowledging nod at them before joining them at the table where they were seated. Glenn was looking a little washed out in the days since Noah’s death, the man was trying hard to regain some of his earlier lightheartedness, but Daryl got the impression something else had gone down recently to compound the trauma of their group member’s passing and the resulting conflicting stories that had happened.

But as per his usual, he wasn’t looking to pry if the younger man wasn’t wanting to share.

“Hey man, you hear about the get together?” Daryl nodded at Glenn’s question, batting away the urge to start fidgeting under the twin stares he was receiving.

“What?” He half-snapped when the other two continued looking at him without any other response.

His mind jumped to the immediate suspicion that somehow Maggie had already told Glenn about this morning with Beth, and Glenn, who couldn’t ever manage to keep his mouth shut, had in turn told Carol. The box in his pocket seemed to dig its way into his leg and he fisted his hands on the table top to keep from shifting awkwardly.

“We were just saying,” Carol began brightly, making him tense, “that it’d probably be good if you at least made an appearance at this one. After everything that’s happened, wanna show support if we can.”

“Why ya need me for that?” He grumbled irritably. “Ain’t the meet an’ greet kind.”

“Oh you don’t say.” Carol intoned sweetly, eyes crinkling with her teasing that made him shake his head with a huffed breath. “Never would have guessed that about you. Glenn, would have _ever_ guessed that Daryl wasn’t a people person?”  

“Nope.” The other man answered with a slight smile that barely reached his eyes.

“Stop.” Daryl griped halfheartedly as he slouched back in his chair.

Melodic laughter sounded from the living room, and he couldn’t help the way his ears perked up at the sound, eyes twitching in the direction it had come from before trailing back to the people that were considering him with varied levels of humor.

“Daryl’s definitely a _person_ person though.” Glenn observed with the same barely there wit that marked the weight of whatever was going on with him. Carol nodded, lips folding in on her smile as Daryl flashed a glare at each of them in turn.

“M’gonna go get my bow.” He muttered, levering himself to his feet with the table’s help.

“Going hunting?” The slightly grinning man questioned, dark eyes sparking at Daryl’s attempt to escape.

“Nah, but I’m shootin’ _somethin’_ when I get back down here.” The baseless threat was lobbed back over his shoulder as he climbed the switchback stairs, pointedly ignoring the quiet laughter that followed him up to the second floor.

Closing the room’s door behind him, Daryl moved at once to the table on his side of the bed and quickly deposited his stolen goods into the silently opened drawer. He then went and stowed the small bottle of antiseptic into the bathroom’s medicine cabinet, all the while nursing a steadily building dread about the upcoming party.

He couldn’t shake the idea that something either bad or at least uncomfortable was sure to happen during it. Emotions were running high since the incident with Noah and Aiden alone, not to mention the latest catastrophe with Reg and Pete. He doubted there was any real threat to be found in the Alexandrians, not when they’d seen more often than not how dangerous Daryl’s group was.

But shit, it was still highly fuckin’ likely to be uncomfortable as hell, and since he’d recently acquired a value pack of Trojan’s finest, he had much better ways of spending his night. Cursing mildly to himself, he headed back out of the room and down the stairs, following the chattering until he found the lot of them discussing just what he’d been cussing about on his way in. Coming up short in the doorway, he watched Beth gesture at the room vaguely while she explained some kind of spacing concept to a nodding Glenn.

Her eyes flicked to him almost immediately and he couldn’t stop the way his mouth thinned and curved the barest amount at her apparent enthusiasm. She beamed back at him before turning her head to respond to something Maggie had said to her and Daryl did his best to wrestle down his uneasiness. If it made her happy, he could stomach some idiot attempt to restore morale.

If it made her happy, he could stomach just about anything at all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go, I'm having a harder time writing lately my peeps, so if posts slow down that's why. I'm really sorry, I don't know what my deal is, end of summer ennui or something.
> 
> Love all the feedback and thank you all for the support.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Thanks for all the continued support you guys are awesome, I gotta go write some more I hope you enjoy this and happy reading!

**Chapter 24**

It was friggin’ official, she was Pavlov’s dog.

That freakin’ redneck had somehow managed to train her all too eager self to react like a pup to a treat. It might not be hunger of the regular kind in this specific case, and it wasn’t the ringing of a bell that would set her mouth to watering. But the result was still the same, every time Daryl Dixon hummed, her whole dang body would break out in a tingling flush, and her foolish lips would part in anticipation. It apparently didn’t matter if they were alone, if he were even reacting to something _she_ had said, without fail though, she’d hear the deep rumbling grate and her well trained mind would flick into getting ready to be kissed mode – feeling terribly jilted when she didn’t receive her reward for noticing the sound.

Fitting, that she put this altogether the day after she lost her virginity, and what a stupid saying – lost it – hell she’d never been so happy to lose something in all her life. But then, Beth cast a furtive look at Daryl across the room, her partner probably had a lot to do with that. He was talking to Glenn about something she couldn’t quite hear, except for that murmured noise, had her itching and agitated the longer it went on without being followed up with his lips hot and pressing against hers.

She’d managed to slip most of Maggie’s incessant questions today, but honestly, between her never-ending smile and blushing cheeks her sister had been able to come to her own conclusions. It had been a relief, she had worried, that it’d be more than Maggie could handle, _knowing_ pretty much for certain now, what her younger sister was doing with the man twice her age. The idea was no longer such an abstract one.

So far however, Maggie had only smiled and asked questions she knew there was _no way_ Beth would _ever_ answer. And she’d even gone as far as _proposing_ a few scenarios that caused cheek flaring and hissing requests for silence on Beth’s end.

But she didn’t mind, not really, she was too dang happy to care a fig what her pestering older sister said to embarrass her. Chest feeling full and oh so wonderfully warm, being in love with Daryl was…terrifying…made her feel almost _too_ full. Some power had liquefied every happy memory and moment in her existence and was pumping it through her veins full bore. She was such a cliché with all the corny thoughts and emotions dribbling about her insides, but the dead walking about or not, end of the world be damned – she was _happy_ for shit’s sake.

Carol and Maggie were discussing the party, still, and while Beth had to admit she was looking a little forward to it, even if it was unnecessary and put more of a strain on their rations in the pantry. A party _did_ go right along with her current mood, and any time taken away from how their lives were now (with all the death) was nice and worth trying for. All that being said, she was far too wound up to entertain the subject any longer, so when Glenn nodded and got up to join her group, Beth waited about half a second after watching Daryl make his way to the kitchen before she hopped up to head the same way.

Maggie could tease her to death about it later.

She found him leaning against the island’s counter, facing the doorway she came through and when he saw her approach, he jerked a head towards the two doors that led to the front porch. She wasted no time in rerouting her path, leaving first the house, than the porch, taking light and quick steps between the houses back towards the town’s surrounding wall. Reaching it, Beth took a moment to look back and forth along its length, seeing no one she turned to the silent hunter that’d shadowed her path.

“D’you-”

She didn’t let him get much further with whatever he’d planned on saying, surging up to meld their mouths together. Daryl made a surprised little grunt that had her smiling even as she deepened the kiss and shuffled joyful fingertips through the facial hair lining his jaw. His arms banded around her, and the sound he made probably would have been one of the nerve jittering ones he’d been using to work her up, if only his lips hadn’t been opened and tongue flicking along her own.

Beth was barely aware of the metal that connected gently with her upper shoulders, and then slowly her spine as Daryl released his hold on her back and took possession of her hips, pushing her solidly into the town’s wall. It’d been getting chilly as of late, so Beth reveled in the slow heat of the material at her back in comparison to the sweltering one of the man lining her front. It was unimaginable at this moment, with his weight against her chest, and his adamant tongue working hers, to remember this wasn’t something she’d always been allowed to do – grab onto Daryl Dixon and adhere herself to him from lips to hips.

Considering the way he was clutching at her, digging blunt fingers into jeans and flesh, she got the idea that he might be on the same train of thought, or at least something that meant close to the same. Blowing a struggling breath out of her nose, Beth moved from his mouth to the edge of his jaw, once more using a hand on his throat to hold him steady when he made to duck his head and intercept her lips. Her fingers vibrated along the heated flesh as he made a groaning growl and yanked at her hips to bring his growing hard-on into contact with her belly.

He tasted salty, and she figured on never being tired of feeling thirsty, well worth it to have tanned and tightened flesh under her mouth, quivering under her tongue. Daryl moved his head again, restless to be holding mostly still while she made a sucking slippery mess of his neck, and Beth tightened her hold until he froze once more. She had the vaguest repeated concern about him disliking the hold, only to moan lightly when he started rubbing against her in earnest, and _then_ she was worried about the show they were about to be giving the first unlucky town or family member that happened upon them.

Sliding her grip to the back of his head, Beth did what she could to calm down, aching and clenching throughout herself. It was some kind of moonshine level of intoxication to have someone as physically strong as Daryl was, submit to holding still in her hand, and on the other side of that same coin, made her feel incredibly safe to be caged so completely between him and the wall. His own motions came to a stop as she ran quick fingers through the hair at his nape, fisted her other hand next to her face on his chest. Listened to their breathing while her pulse rocked against her wrists and clit chaotically.

“The hell got into you girl?” He rasped out at last, and Beth didn’t have much choice in her puff of a laugh as she raised her head to consider him with arching brows. “Christ.” He murmured, looking all the world to be embarrassed by the innuendo as his ears reddened where they peeked out from his hair. “Can’ spend all day kissin’, got shit t’do.”

“Better than me?” She challenged, only half serious, knowing that he was right while simultaneously not being able to stop herself from lobbing the bit of confrontation at him. Didn’t much like the idea that it was so easy for him to deny the urge that she’d been having a near biological issue refusing.

Daryl’s eyes narrowed to slits, reaching up, he captured the hand that was nestled in his long hair, locking her gaze with his as he dropped their arms and slid until she was cradling the hard line of him through his pants.

“Got me hard like a shot, ya wantin’ t’ go fuck with yer sister an’ the others in the house waitin’ fer us t’ finish on the other side a’ the fuckin’ door? I got the rubbers, can be inside ya quick as ya can scamper to the room.”

Breath hitching two or three times on its way in, Beth gave an involuntary little squeeze, his only reaction was a huffing shot of air out flaring nostrils while he waited for her answer. He’d already managed to find condoms? That was rather impressive, he’d only left the house for about an hour this morning, before ghosting his way back in while she’d been talking to Maggie about the party.

But considering the way he’d asked the question, she was led to believe while he’d do it, he wouldn’t be overly happy about them having sex when the others would be able to so easily figure out what they were doing. Not to mention, it’d been only a handful of hours since he’d used his fingers on her, and she was trying to jump him already…Well she couldn’t be very apologetic about that, she knew what he could do to her now and didn’t much care if she seemed too eager from him to do it again.

“What’ve ya gotta get done?” She asked, mostly innocently, as she slid a palm up and down his length, lips going once more to his neck. “Huntin’?” She guessed for him since he seemed unable suddenly to answer. A flexing arm moved passed her head to brace against the wall. She bit lightly at the hollow of his jaw before running a tongue over tender flesh and springing hair.

“Yer a goddamn demon, ya know that woman?” Beth wasn’t going to lie to herself and say she didn’t love the haggard tone, or the roughness of the hand that did nothing to stop her torture as it rocked along the back of her knuckles, keeping up with her motions.

“Ah c’mon now.” She chastised sweetly, other hand dipping in order to ruck up his shirt a little and run short nails over his flexing stomach. “M’not _that_ wicked Daryl.”

“The fuck you ain’t.” She wondered if he’d have some kind of attack if she dropped to her knees in front of him now, in full view of anyone that looked their way, including the people he’d been _so_ worried about hearing them.

Stilling, she twisted her arm  until she was holding the hand that’d assisted in his torment, her other fingers flattening on his abdomen, thumb stroking idly as she drew back to be able to see his flushed face and cutting eyes.

“An’ what about you huh?” His face twisted in confusion, and she kept going, trying to ignore for the moment he was hard and they could be in their room taking advantage of that at this very moment. Instead of standing out here and talking about things that were just going to antagonize their want even more, while not being able to do anything about it, at least for now. “Can’t focus on a friggin’ thing in there while you’re makin’ those noises.”

“Hmm?” He questioned unknowingly, from what she could tell, making her go all tingly once more, even as he interlaced their fingers and brought his other hand off metal at her side to brush a few thick fingers across the flyaway bits of her hair before laying itself against her neck.

“Daryl Dixon, ya hum every dang time you go to kiss me just about.” Blackened blues slid off hers and he shrugged, uncomfortable maybe, from not having realized this himself was the only thing she could figure. “It’s drivin’ me crazy.” She said quietly, trying to atone for getting him hard twice in one day without being able to do her part to alleviate the situation – though it wasn’t for lack of frickin’ desire that was for sure.

Her last words at least offered the reward of his gaze clipping back to hers.

“Didn’t know you were doin’ it?” Her prodding was more to give them both the time they needed to calm down, _before_ they had to go about their day without being in each other’s back pockets. He gave her a shy little wobble of a head shake and she smiled a little at him. “Any theories?”

Another wobble.

“Like kissin’ ya.” He admitted like she didn’t know, lowly and while glancing at her mouth. “Ya taste sweet.” There was next to no volume to his words, and Beth felt his flush transfer bodies, trickle through the palm on her pulse point and bloom inside her cheeks. “Maybe m’tryin’ t’warn ya so you don’ get spooked an’ shy away.” Leaning in, he trapped her bottom lip with both of his and tugged a little before releasing it, and continued in the same near-silent pitch. “Maybe jus’ like the taste an’ can’ help it.”

She caught the barest twitch of his mouth when she swallowed too hard, and she didn’t regret the hand that pulled itself into a claw and dug into his sensitive flesh, making him flinch and curse as his grip on her neck left and he pulled the weapon from his skin.

“ _You’re_ awful.” Her complaint earned her more of a curving to his lips as he viewed her through slit lids, eyes sparking a varied arrangement of emotions from between them.

Daryl made to dip back in for another kiss, and with raised brows she bobbed back, he stilled – the playful glare turning a little more heated before the smile he wore lengthened farther and she had time to get an idea of what he was about to do before he did it.

“Hmm?” Her groan of irritation was as close to a growl as she’d ever heard it, but she managed to juke away from his next attempt, not making any kind of real move to get away from him. He seemed to be rather enjoying himself as he ran his lips and tickling whiskers along her throat before coming to rest right next to her ear. “Hmm?”

_Jesus, Mary, an’ Joseph…_

Her small vocal chords could never hope to rival his deep reverberations that cartwheeled from cartilage to pelvic bone, both of his hands went to pulling her against him as he made the sound once more and nuzzled against her sensitive skin.

“You’re _just_ as wicked as I am.” She accused him through a sucking breath that nicked and scratched its way into her lungs. “You gonna be back tonight from huntin’ right?” She asked then, after he made no effort to defend himself, shivered some when he nodded without moving his mouth. “Alright, then.” Conceding, she reached to frame his face and pull him back enough to get a look in his eyes. “Kiss me an’ get outta here so you can get back quick.”

He managed a quick nod that itched little trails against her palms, the soft dryness of his lips was a sweeter press this time, and Beth only licked along his tongue a few slow times before releasing her hold. Straightening, Daryl dropped his hands but kept a searching look on her when he spoke.

“L’be here before dark alrigh’?”

“Doesn’t give you long.” She replied, eyes flicking to track the sun’s position.

He gave a customary shrug, seemingly unconcerned. “Long enough.”

Nodding, she went on tip toes to kiss him once more, a peck to say goodbye, before he turned after a last prodding look, heading for the entrance gate at a ground eating pace. Beth watched faded wings until he turned out of sight, and then made her way back inside the house.

To put it mildly the rest of the day, or much of the next, did not go the way either of them had planned. When Daryl showed up with an assortment of game hanging from his belt, she was able to ask him quickly how things had gone. But then Carl had come in to ask if she wouldn’t mind watching Judith again, the almost-toddler crying in his arms, and then Rick had strolled in and asked Daryl to come with him for a perimeter check. She spent the rest of the day babysitting while cleaning, both the house and Daryl’s kill, like he’d shown her all those months ago when it was just the two of them.

Dark had settled in and after not getting off baby duty until later than she’d planned, she was forced to ask around for her man until someone informed her he’d been put on night watch and wasn’t going to be back until early morning. Searching him out along the raised platforms that hugged the barrier wall, Beth had found him being talked at by one of the townsfolk, she thought his name was Tobin, and from what she could catch from the half of his moody profile she could see, Daryl wasn’t thrilled to be there.

After whispering up a greeting she watched, both startled and amused, as his head had snapped her direction, and without a word to his watch mate, had nearly jumped off the full length of the ladder on his way down. They were able to discuss quietly the shitty turn of events, but Tobin was within ear shot, and so they only said goodnight to one another after a few minutes and then Beth was headed home without her redneck in tow. She spent the night in her clothes, sleeping poorly, and then Maggie was waking her up just past dawn. Her and Daryl passing one another on the stairs with traded looks of moroseness as she trailed along grumpily behind her sister.

While the supplies had yet to be successfully pilfered from one place or another, a crew had been gathered to begin digging and staking off areas where the boundary for the garden would be. She then spent an obnoxious amount of time helping out and directing people, until the changing weather turned the cold morning to a mildly pleasurably warm afternoon.

Returning to the house covered in sweat and muscles twinging with an unused soreness that irked her, Beth clambered up the steps only to find their room and bed empty. Muttering dark words about the never calming state of the apocalypse, she peeled off dirty clothes and took a quick shower, all the while wondering where the hell Daryl had managed to get himself to.

She ate a granola bar and dried her hair after getting dressed and padding downstairs to the kitchen. When she had redone her braid and ponytail, and there was still no sign of him, Beth was just about to head back out into Alexandria looking. But then her sister had came breezing through the door with Olivia, who kept track of inventory, and Beth was forced to spend the time up until the party making food and then getting ready for said event.

All in all, she decided while studying her reflection momentarily, almost the last 24 hours had got shot straight to hell and she was not a fan of the way things had unfolded. She was almost certain Daryl would be at the get together, if only to shrug his way through the crowd in order to drag her out of it. Which as far as Beth was concerned, sounded like a fine plan, the idea was nice and all, and no doubt Deanna was doing all she could to keep herself and the town above water…but she’d rather be spending her night locked in her room with a certain broody hunter than making small talk about pasta makers.

Eyes lingering along the bright pink loose knit sweater (that’d get her eaten the moment she stepped foot outside the walls) and the white undershirt, she picked a little distractedly at the dark wash jeans, tapping her black booted foot that would serve her no use anywhere outside of the Safe-Zone. She felt a little weird, dressed up like she was about to go to the mall, or the movies with some friends, or considering her age – maybe to some college party. Or…on a date.

Smiling a little at the idea of going to dinner and bowling, or some other small town certified first date with Daryl, she shook her head and left the bathroom to head once more downstairs. Her hair was streaming along her neck and shoulders, and while it looked rather nice and she never really got a chance to wear it like this anymore, once again, she felt as though it were out of place in this new world. Long unbound hair was easy for dead hands to snag into, it got easily caught while ducking through chain link fences or the bones of burnt out buildings.

People trickled in, some looking near scared, others irritated or good humoredly put out by the imposition of showing up. She couldn’t really blame them, but then, she’d done her bit. The darn thing was planned and food was plentiful thanks to Daryl, and as long as they didn’t ask what it was, she was sure the Alexandrians would like it just fine. As the time passed, Beth gravitated either to her sister and Glenn, or Eric and Aaron, the last of which informed her that Daryl had last been seen handling some kind of possible weak point in the fence with Abraham and Tobin, and that he should be arriving at any time.

Beth smiled a thank you at him and kept a watchful eye on the door, rewarded after the sun had fully set when she saw an irritated looking figure pass from the house’s double doors in the kitchen and duck his way through the groups of guests before hoofing his way upstairs.

“Hey.” Beth blinked away from the sight of a black work boot disappearing up the second set of the switchback steps to see Spencer near her elbow. She looked around a little in surprise, she’d somehow wandered off by herself and the man was looking at her expectantly with the slightest smile, though it seemed rather pained for obvious reasons. “Thanks for, uh…” His eyes scanned the room and she could tell he was working out something. “For doing this for my mom, it’s kinda silly I know but, well, I think she was going a little crazy thinking about Aiden and my dad all the time at home.”

Beth nodded quickly, losing people wasn’t something anyone got used to, but like many of the people that had come to Alexandria with her, loss was a well-known if bitterly acknowledged event that they were on all too familiar terms with. She watched him with searching eyes as he looked about the gathering once more, he appeared to be slightly or moderately intoxicated. It wasn’t something she was about to judge him for, but inebriation usually led to people making poor decisions…or burning down moonshine stills, which had just been awesome.

“You workin’ through it?” Keeping her voice light but low, Beth was aware of the fact that there really was no great way to ask _or_ answer that question.

Spencer locked back onto her and stared long enough to make her tense, before he shrugged and blinked away from her. “You really with the old redneck?” He questioned, a bit of a sneer marring his handsome features and Beth didn’t stop the frown that tugged down the corners of her mouth

“ _You_ really askin’ me that? After everythin’ else that’s been goin’ on the last couple a’ weeks?”

He gave another indifferent shrug, mouth pulling to one side to assist the motion of his shoulders as he continued, eyes ticking restlessly around the party. “I just mean, I get it, you know, like… _before_ you got here. Dude’s a nut job, looks like he was _born_ in the woods, definitely the best bet to keep you alive. But…ugh.” And he gave a little play shudder like the image of her and Daryl together turned his stomach.

She was surprised, how calm she felt, in the face of the ugliness of his words. Maybe it came from the fact that they were no stronger than the petty kind of insults thrown around a high school hallway, or maybe it was that she knew even _without_ Daryl she could beat his smug face right into the hardwood floor. He couldn’t touch her, not her body and not her mind, and she realized as his eyes flicked back to her once more to gauge her reaction, that he was just hell bent on trying to make someone feel as shitty as he did.

Well _fuck_ him, because she was happier now than she had been in a long time, and this little Alexandrian piss-ant wasn’t going to drag her _anywhere_ she didn’t want to go.

It was wonderful, this certainty, this centering of everything that had for so long blown hurricane style inside and outside of her until she felt rent open from crown to stomach with all the things she couldn’t control. People dying and hurting, people hurting _her_ and being unable to stop them while they did, but this boy, in grief or not, wasn’t going to be one of them. And for once, Beth had a say in what was able to sink hooks into her, and Spencer Monroe wasn’t it.

She enjoyed the way his eyes narrowed when a smile stretched itself Cheshire-like across her face until the point it looked manic, Beth clocked the way he swayed away from her when she took a step closer to him. It was her highest hope that he was beginning to question which one of them, between her and Daryl, was _really_ the crazy one.

“You have yourself a good night Spencer.” Walking past him, she let a little giggle bubble its way out of her throat. “ _Born in the woods_.” She chuckled to herself, weaving her way through the groups of people until she was climbing the steps away from the noise and idiocy.

She had a redneck to find.

Slipping into their room, she shut and locked the door silently behind her, nearly skipping her way into the bathroom that must house him. She noticed briefly that the window in their bedroom was open, before she was opening the second door, peering through steam and smoke to see him standing in just his jeans against the counter, drag exhaling long and billowing from his mouth.

Her quiet movement caught at the corner of his sight and his head whipped her way as he tensed, she watched it drain out of him instantly when he realized it was her. The water from the shower provided a calming background white noise and Beth reveled in finding herself once more in their little safe place with a locked door between them and everyone else. Maybe it would matter to him that the others were all in the house and awake, but she was going to do her darnedest to make that bit of knowledge escape him.

She’d waited just about as long as she was going to.

“Smokin’ in the house huh?” She asked, coming to stand in front of him, feeling as she did like her eyes were going to get whiplash from trying to take in every tanned, mildly grimy, inch of him as he took another drag and nodded. “You ok? Aaron said somethin’ was goin’ on with the fence?”

“Ain’t nothin’ t’ worry about.” He grumbled, trailing slower blues over her as he talked, making her skin warm quicker than the water’s steam. “S’not the reason m’smokin’ anyway.” Gaze meeting hers, she saw something shadowy pass behind his irises. “Party goin’ alrigh’?”

She crossed her arms to keep her hands off him for a little while longer, trying to at least give him the time he needed to finish his cigarette. “People are all antsy, and Spencer’s a jerk, but that’s about it.”

“Wha’d he do?” The question was gruff, but he didn’t look seconds away from stomping some ass, so she took that as his faith in her ability to handle herself. “Say somethin’ to ya?”

“Betcha can guess the gist of it too.” Beth answered with a shrug and a nod, stepping a bit forward, releasing an arm from curving her body to run a slow path down his ribs and side, loving the way the muscle and skin jumped and twitched under her pads.

“Prick.” Even with the rasping of the word and quick pull he took, Beth could tell Daryl was totally locked onto her every motion, and when he opened his stance a little more so she could edge closer she grinned happily at him while he finally put the cigarette out in the sink.

“Am I stoppin’ you from gettin’ ready?” Head tilted to the side, she flicked her eyes up to him while rubbing the palm of her hand against one flexing abdomen, the fingers of her other hand dropping to hook into the top of his pants.

“Mhmmm.” She was a little surprised when, instead of wrapping his arms around her or leaning down for a kiss, he placed his own hands on the counter behind him. “S’posed to make it down to the get t’gether this time.”

He had to be messing with her.

 _Had to_.

“I see.” Stepping away from him, she went to the still running shower and shut the thing off, turning to him with a bit of a challenging look. “Well I just don’t think you’re going to make it Mr. Dixon.”

“Beth.”

She knew that tone, it wasn’t one she was thrilled to hear, it was that duty bound guilty conscious one he’d get. And she was also sure that since she hadn’t been able to get him distracted properly, _yet_ , he was still thinking of the house full of people that could possibly hear them, and the family that would know _without a doubt_ where and what they were doing if they didn’t come down.

Unfortunately for him, all Beth could think about was how good he looked slightly mussed and dirty from his day, how the steam was making him appear dreamlike and the enveloping way it was clouding up the mirror at his back and putting a light film over the frosted window to her left.

Yep all in all it seemed like the perfect scenario for her second time, and no crappy end of the world party was going to stop her. However, eyes narrowed and lips thin, Daryl Dixon might get in the way a bit. Looking down at herself, she ran a bit of the shirt’s fabric between her fingers, feeling the sweat tingling at the small of her back because of the too warm clothing.

“Look nice.” He muttered really quietly, and she couldn’t help but smile brightly at him, catching his gaze when she looked up from the pink material. “Ya’d die n’about two seconds out there.” Small gesture down at her impractical black heeled boots. “But ya do look real nice.”

“I was thinkin’ the same thing!” Laughing, she took a step closer to him and the counter, to be able to lift a leg and plant the foot near his hip. “I mean do ya _see_ this thing? I’d break my neck about the time I tried runnin’ in these, an’ I bet they’d fall apart after about a’ week in the woods.”

“If yer lucky.” He agreed, a large hand lighting on top of her foot, pushing the jean up from her ankle to wrap around the soft black expanse, tipping a shaggy head thoughtfully as he did. “Ya wear this kinda thing? Before?”

“If I was goin’ out maybe.” Before, it felt like so many lifetimes ago. “But usually I was strictly a cowboy boots kinda girl, only thing that could keep up with things at the farm.”

He nodded distractedly, teeth worrying the backside of his lip. “So like dates an’ stuff? Or goin’ ‘roun with your friends?” The heat of his hand slid up her calf, and Beth felt her muscles straining as she leaned a bit forward in the precarious position in order to encourage him to continue.

“I’d have _definitely_ worn this on a date with you, was just thinkin’ that when I was headed down to the party actually.” She replied, smile dropping when he snorted. “What? I would’ve.”

“Ain’t no way _in hell_ , you an’ me would’a ever been _goin’_ on no date.” Hand dropping back down to her ankle, he squeezed, before dropping his hold. “Better knock that off, them weak ankles getcha ev’ry time.”

Dropping her leg to stand on two feet, Beth viewed him with furrowed brows, she didn’t like what he’d said, not one bit. Mostly because he was probably right, and she hated the idea of them ever, in any scenario, universe, or reality, not ending up together. But he _was_ twice her age, they were from very different backgrounds, and it was through the craziest mixture of events that had led them to where they were at this moment.

Still…

“You sayin’ you wouldn’a _liked_ it if I’d worn this on our first date or somethin’ Daryl Dixon?” Moving to fill the space between his legs, she hooked adamant hands into the top of his jeans once more, eyeing him stubbornly as he glared down at her in exasperation.

“Youd’a worn that, I’da taken one look atcha an’ run.” One corner of her mouth curled when he decided to play along instead of pointing out that he’d said they’d never have gone out on a date in the first place. “Would’a figured I’d gotten m’ass conned or pranked, been lookin’ fer that ta’ catch a predator guy whole time I’s hoofin’ it back t’ my truck.”

“Oh stop.” She laughed, yanking a bit on his pants, smiling wider when he sunk large roughened hands into her hair, enjoying the snag and pull as he cupped them around her skull.

“Ain’t no way a’ girl lookin’ this good, all done up an’ sweet in fuckin’ _pink_ , be wantin’ anythin’ t’ do with my country ass. Prob’ly Merle playin’ games.”

“Well.” She leaned into him, enjoying the heaviness of the air and the weight of his hands on her scalp. “About the time you’d‘ve tried runnin’ off on me, I’da shoved one a’ these pretty shoes right up your tail end mister.”

His mouth quirked right before she lifted herself the distance it took to get to those lips and kissed him slow, waiting until she felt his fingers flex in her hair before going for the button on his pants. Daryl grumbled something she didn’t catch and pulled his head back, but she’d gotten the bit in her teeth already and chased the kiss. Beth wasn’t willing to stop on the basis of duty and mockery alone. No, if he wanted to wait for things to die down in the house that badly, he’d have to make a stronger case than that.

She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, worried it with her teeth while working his zipper, getting a harder nip in when he used the tether of his hands in her hair to pull her mouth off his, too late, as she sank steam warmed hands into his underwear. Smirking at him good naturedly when she felt the heavy stiffness in her hands, his glare sure did lose _a lot_ of its muster when she ran easy palms down each side of his length.

“Why’re you fightin’ this right now?” She murmured, even now with her body aching, and him ready to go in her hands, Beth still had to know if she was right about the objections he might have. “Are ya really not wantin’ to?”

“Quit it.” He breathed out raggedly, and her movements stilled immediately. Only to have him growl, a hand dropping from her tangled locks in a flash as he straightened, joining her possession of his hardened dick to help resume her lazy sliding movements. “Not that.” His hand on the back of hers flew her mind straight back to this morning and Beth couldn’t help the flashes that assaulted her memory. “Ain’t gonna be a’ time I don’ wanna fuck you girl.”

“You’re not wantin’ people ta’ hear us?” She asked quietly, rubbing her thighs together as one hand left him so that she could reach up and hook it around his neck, dragging him down for a hard kiss as she gave him a squeeze. The sweat that had been centered in the small of her back now covered her from just about head to toe, the heat becoming uncomfortable as he nodded and groaned into her mouth, lips sliding slickly over one another.

Not being able to bear the temperature anymore, Beth released her hold on him, his grunt of unhappiness licking along her belly as she stepped back to tear the sweater and undershirt off her torso, before pulling up a leg at a time to wrestle off her shoes. She didn’t allow him much of an appreciative view of the result of her actions, moving right back into him for another kiss while she began shuffling the clothing from his hips, thrilling when she heard them drop in a heap around his ankles.

“M’gonna show ya what I was thinkin’ about, whole time we were kissin’ by the wall.”

With that she sunk to her knees, losing no time before she gathered him up and was wrapping her lips around his smooth length. Daryl made a deep grating noise and Beth moaned around him, running her hands up his thighs and hips until she could dig palms and then shortened nails into his tensed stomach.

“ _Fuck-damn it-Christ_.” He rolled out through gritted teeth, hands landing tentatively on the back of her head as she sucked the tip of his. “Ain’t washed yet, woman, jus’ let me-”

She gripped a little harder with her nails before sucking him entirely inside her once, pulling back harder than was probably strictly pleasurable, tearing an agonized sounding moan from him, before gliding her hands down to hold his base in one and a shivering thigh in another. Lips sliding off the end of him she laid little kisses along the side, listening to his heavy breathing for a moment before glancing up at him. Daryl’s face could barely be seen under his sweat and steam soaked hair that hung in strands over cheekbones and blackened eyes.

“Must not be doin’ a good job this time.” She said against his throbbing skin, feeling his hands twitch in her hair. “If you’re thinkin’ about that and not me doin’ this to ya out in front a’ God an’ everybody.”

His hips popped forward the smallest amount, knocking his cock and pubic hair against her lips and hand before he was seemingly able to get a hold of himself. She grinned up at him, the happiest girl in the world to be on her knees in front of Daryl Dixon, to have him concentrated solely on her as his chest heaved and his hands shook in her hair.

Focusing on where she could see the barest flash of his eyes, Beth ran her tongue up and down him before rolling a quick pass once more over his head, only dropping her gaze when she took him back inside. She wanted to get that thunderstruck look back on his face from the first time she’d done this to him, that awed kind of affection that’d made her feel strong and happy in the strangest ways.

Working him with hand and lips a few times, she then dropped her finger’s wrap and pulled him in until she could feel that pressure at the back of her throat again and Daryl was making shaky sounding grunts as his hands fisted hard and aided her motions while his hips thrust forward. Her own want was a dull pulse in the back of her mind, she was too focused on getting him off, hopefully with that same uncontrollable pumping down her throat as the first time.

One moment she was sure he was about to come, the next she was being tugged off of him, spit dripping in a ropey strand from one corner as she was hauled to her feet. She only managed a confused little whine before his mouth was smashing into hers, pressing until her lips cried out from the cut of her teeth. Her body was being jerked and jostled roughly, scraping flesh and impatient fingers, but his mouth was still on hers and he was plunging his tongue inside like she didn’t have a choice to have it there.

She was weightless for a moment as he hauled her bodily from her entangling pants and underwear, legs kicking in surprise even as he stepped from his own. He allowed her breath only so he could run his teeth along her trap muscles, and she was being gripped on breast and ass cheek, both of which had found themselves bare. The heat and sensation was making her feel senseless. Smallest nipping pains shot through her shoulder before her hands were ripped from the hold they’d managed to find in his hair, and she was being turned and pressed into the bathroom’s low counter.

There was a startling moment where she thought even through her haze that he was going to shove her face first into the tile, but then one arm was curving up over her chest, paw-like hand engulfing her throat as the other went between her legs, slipping barely restrained fingers over hood and clit, sliding against her folds.  Beth was barely able to crack her eyes open, see their distorted forms in the mirror, before he was growling something in her ear.

“Fuckin’ rubbers are in the bedroom.”

Out of her head, _clearly_ , Beth pressed back into him, searching for that hardness she knew would be there. Moaning and needy when she felt him rub along her ass, slipping over the sweat slickened skin there. The bedroom sounded too far away, anything not within arm’s reach sounded too far away. It’d been too long, any time at all was too long, to not have him inside her.

“Damn it woman,” he grated as she rubbed against him incessantly, “knock that shit off, gi’me a’ second.”        

A _second_ ? Was he out of his _goddamn mind_ right now?

Leaning forward, Beth half strangled herself on his restraining hand along her neck, lifted herself on tiptoes and felt him slide along the crack of her cheeks as the hand that had been inside her death gripped onto her hip. Muttering and huffing in irritation she made the motion again, feeling her calf muscles strain and scream as she tried lifting and leaning into the right position, sucking in a breath when Daryl apparently realized the too hard clench of his fingers.

“Fuck it, _fine_.” He growled, and hand leaving her hip, she felt as he guided himself inside her, stretching until near painful, and then as he breathed a harsh breath out, stalling once he was fully slotted inside. She scrabbled onto the forearm and wrist that banded her chest to keep it there, loving the feeling of him wrapped around her like he was. “Jesus.” Daryl gritted from clenched teeth, air slackening through her wind pipe when he subconsciously squeezed while pulling out, other hand going once more to her hip.

He began moving in and out of her, slow but hard thrusts that made her cry and dig blunt nails into his arm. Her eyes couldn’t seem to decide whether to be open or closed, dissipating steam and smeared blotches of color, light and dark, that moved in the mirror’s blurry confines. And all the while he panted and cursed lowly in her ear. Her inability to see him drew her focus into the fingers digging bruises into her hips on each side once he’d released her throat, dragging out of her clinging hold.

It was apparently so he could pull himself _completely_ out of her, and Beth caught onto the counter with a whimper.

“Jus’ _stay here_.” Daryl muttered before pressing scalding lips to her shoulder. Legs and arms shaky, she nodded, barely hearing as he left the room. Not trusting herself to stay upright and not willing to risk him stopping if he found her sprawled shivering on the floor, Beth used what uncertain, adrenaline fueled and wobbling, strength she had and hoisted herself up on the counter’s edge.

He came back in, appearing like some kind of roughhewn forest deity, flesh warm and shining as he rolled a condom down his bruised looking length. Daryl barely glanced up at her as he spread her legs and stepped between them, freezing only when he seemed to feel the quivering of her limbs.

“I’m fine.” She assured him before he could even ask, encouraging his closer proximity by way of his shoulders. Nodding, as he held her with his eyes, her lids slipping closed as he edged his way back inside. Too high on him to feel embarrassed, she felt her bottom lip jut out slightly once he was fully in place. “Like ya better bare.”

“I know.” He rasped, resulting thrusts sending her skidding back a bit on the counter making him sigh and her to kick out a laugh. “C’mere goddamn it.” His rumbling tone was more playful as he slid her back into him, hands anchoring her in place, a thumb going to her clit, circling with each thrust.

Beth lost all ability to think after that, one hand leaving his shoulder to prop herself up on the counter and help his angle, trembling legs doing their best to stay hooked on the sides of his waist. She didn’t try at all to police the sounds rolling through her throat as he worked with this new position, she didn’t feel quite high enough, the angle slightly off and jarring compared to what it had been before. But everything about sex with Daryl felt incredible to her, and Beth was sure to let him know through her sounds and clenching muscles as she came, hand clenching into his shoulder while she did.

“Hold on.” She clung to him as he lifted and pressed her heated back to the cool layer of fogged over frosted glass, the window sliding against her shoulder blades and spine as he began thrusting into her in earnest, clearly chasing his own orgasm.

“Break?” It was the only word she could gasp out as her cunt vised itself around him, climbing her towards another release, his only answer coming as grunts and then the shaking of his head where he’d lodged it against her throat. He pounded into her a few more times, before going rigid with a breaking kind of groan that was almost a cry, and then stilling once more.

She reached down to touch herself, she was so close again, but immediately the feeling of her own fingers drew her back from the peak and she gave a scoffing noise of irritation. Still riding the current of electricity running between their joined bodies, Beth moved her hips along his slowly softening cock.

Daryl, somehow, without her saying a word, pressed his body in closer knowing her meaning, and she wrapped him up with legs and arms, allowing him only the room he needed to get his fingers to her clit. He didn’t have to work long, a few hard circling motions and him still inside her, and she was moaning out her next orgasm as he caught his breath and she shook around him.

She wasn’t going to say she loved him. Even as he buried his face in her neck, mouth open and panting against her pulse. His hands back to clenching rhythmically where they held her to him still, she wasn’t going to tell him. Didn’t know if it was something he’d want said aloud anyway, or that he’d even need it to _be_ said. Dirty traitor that her body was it took a life separate from her head, lungs clenched, expelling the unspoken _love you_ as a slightly high pitched rasp that she clamped her teeth over. The glass at her back felt slick against her steaming shoulder blades and her sweat covered back slid up and down with each of her half-hitched breaths.

“Don’t you dare think a’ sayin’ anythin’ remorseful about this.” She muttered instead, feeling the matted hair move that was there against her lips as he nodded. Sliding to her feet eventually, as Daryl held the condom in place, she watched as he unsteadily took it off and tied it closed before dropping it into their bathroom’s garbage can. Beth couldn’t seem to stop touching him, running her own unsteady hands over his arm, his chest, sighing when he ducked his head to give her a soft kiss that pooled along her belly. “How’d you know?” She questioned when he straightened after a few moments of making her heart cinch. “’Bout the glass?”

The two looked at the window in question, Beth blushed slightly at the impression her naked body had left before he answered her with a shrug and quiet words. “Rich people tend t’ have tempered glass where they’re likely t’ slip an’ kill themselves.”

“I got no idea what you’re talkin’ about.” She admitted flatly, watching in confusion as he tipped his head to the side before running a finger along the nearly opaque surface a few sweeping times before he tipped a sex lazy smile her way.

“S’looks like wings.”

Beth jerked her head from staring at his smile to the window and grinned a little at the rough wing shapes her shoulders and back had made, and the outline his strokes had created.

“Ready for the party?” A feeling of near dread crept into her chest when she asked him, her eyes dragging off the story they’d made on the fogged window, Beth caught his quick shake, before he was tugging her towards the door.

“Fuck no, we’re goin’ t’ bed.” This sudden information was backed by him pushing her lightly but determinedly onto her side of the mattress, before clambering naked and glorious over her to get to his side.

“Oh _are_ we?”

“Didn’ catch a’ fuckin’ wink without ya this mornin’, an’ m’so fucked, I can barely stand.” He confessed with a heavy lidded gaze, sounding an adorable amount of pleased about it as he went about yanking the covers up to their bellies. “Wanna sleep on ya.”

She laughed a little breathlessly as he shoved himself flat and crooked a long muscled arm over her abdomen, hand resting familiarly on one bare breast as he pillowed his head on her chest.

“Well gosh Daryl I hope you’re comfy.”

Shaggy head popping up, he eyed her in the darkening confines of their room, while voices drifted up from downstairs. “Ya don’ like it?”

The sudden return of uncertainty in his eyes made her swallow and shake her head quickly, fingers dancing skittering lines over his bare twitching back. “Nah.” She swallowed again, trying to get her accent in check. “I was just kiddin’, ‘course I like it.”

He searched her for a few moments before leaning in and kissing her, hand leaving her chest to cup her face as he dived a few hard strokes against her tongue, eyes meeting hers once he’d pulled back, but keeping his hand in place while their gazes held for a shivering few heartbeats.

_Love you._

Surprise ticked up her pulse rate, and it was possible she was wrong about what those steady blues of his were saying, but then again, they’d gotten pretty good at this silent conversation thing. Dipping her chin in a minute nod in order to not disrupt his hold on her cheek, Beth curled forward a bit to kiss him quickly, smiling when she was looking at him once more.

_Love you too._

Daryl hummed an answer, lips twitching when he felt her hand spasm on his back, and replaced his head and palm to their earlier positions, snuggling into her to get comfortable. As she lay listening to his breath even out, she kept one hand trailing steadily, tracing the paths that mapped lines of old pain across his rangy frame.

She really didn’t care if anyone thought that she was crazy, either in general or for being with him, didn’t care if they thought he was weird, strange, she knew better and the good people in their lives knew it too. All of that meant that she was going to enjoy this time with him while she could, this blissful honeymoon-like stage, that would hopefully keep the nasty things at bay for at least a little longer.

But really, she wanted every moment she could get, every single one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's that, sorry about the short party scene, I was going to do the whole grr Daryl thing, I swear, but then it was like already a long chapter and I hadn't even gotten to the smexy scene so there you have it, woman empowerment instead which I think worked out fine, and I'm sure Spencer isn't done being a jerk anyway.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, nickames, and behaving badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - You all are amazing thanks so much for all the comments and follows and faves and all that jazz. Classes start next week so this week is probably the last of the double posts, or even weekly posts as far as I know. I'll do my best to keep updating throughout the semester and I promise not to ghost out on you guys and just leave the two stories unfinished.
> 
> I love this chapter, I hope you guys do to.
> 
> Again limited time was spent on the proofread so I apologize before hand.
> 
> Happy honeymoon reading folks!

**Chapter 25**

It was gonna be a good goddamn day.

He wasn’t going to let anything less than a herd change his mind on this point. Hands moving easily along his bow, ass on the porch boards, back pressed to the house siding, he could feel the tiny little curve that wouldn’t leave his mouth. About the time someone came along he might try to do something to change that, but as for right now, if his mouth wanted to tilt that way who the hell was he to stop it?

Last night had been fuckin’ amazing, shit, that word didn’t even come  _ close _ to encompassing the mind blowing things that girl had done to him. Fuck, felt like he’d spent the whole time just trying to  _ keep up _ with her, had started the exchange tired out of his mind too, for not being able to sleep without her by his side.

_ And when the fuck had that happened? _

The first time he was away, that shit made sense, he’d been out of his head with worry that something was going to happen to one of them while they were separated. But apparently it was now a thing he was gonna need to take into consideration when life caused them to hit the sheets at different times. Hopefully that bullshit could be avoided for the most part, because he didn’t like it one bit.

Shaking his head slightly, Daryl sped up the playback in his mind until the part where she’d gotten on her knees for him, wrapped his dick up tight in that smartass mouth, hadn’t seen  _ that shit _ coming for the second time in a row. Been as dead set to slide into that tight bit of heaven again, as she’d seemed to have been to get him off  _ period _ . Christ, basically had to pry her off him so he could fuck her, nearly ripped the clothes that’d blocked his way. And then, the way she’d moved against him, mindless, begging for his body by using hers. His movements came to a slight stop as his cock twitched inquisitively at the scenes looping through his mind and heating his blood.

A slow breath through his nose got him calmed back down, wasn’t like the sex was the only part of the night that had been great (though fuck if it wasn’t just about the greatest _fucking_ moment of his whole _fucking_ life) _after_ _that,_ was what made it as damn near close to perfect as he was likely to ever experience. Falling asleep with Beth’s hands on him, one rubbing his back, the other laying splayed on his forearm, he loved her for it. Had told her in the only way he could for now, but she’d got it, said it back – he knew she had – same as he knew his own name, the marks of game in the woods, or the workings of his bow.

Plus, to top it all off, not only had he not had to go to that stupid fuckin’ party, he’d gotten to spend all that possible wasted time with Beth. Yep, all that set today up to be great. Nothing like waking up half on top of a breath wrecking blonde while the two of you were naked, to turn a person optimistic as fuck. Considering the solid night of sleep he’d gotten, Daryl would have been more than alright with going for another round as soon as she cracked her eyes open. It was unfortunate as hell, his decision to let her sleep. Because of course the moment he’d dressed and made his way to the kitchen for some breakfast, Michonne was there and had talked to him until Maggie had shown up to fetch Beth for more work on that damn garden. 

He’d blushed pretty substantially, when the sleepy blue-eyed wonder had come trudging downstairs, took the power bar he’d handed her with a mumbled thank you, before raising up and kissing him soundly in front of the two spectators. Maggie had given him a wink, Michonne had smiled hugely at him until he’d grumbled something about checking the weak spot in the wall they’d patched the night before, and had then hightailed it the fuck out of there. 

At the moment he was waiting for her to get back, they hadn’t done hand-to-hand in a few days and he wanted to make sure she could continue to defend herself. There were of course other things he could be getting done as well. But none of them involved spending time with Beth, and so, weren’t things he was fuckin’ interested in getting accomplished. Partly because he liked spending time with her, and partly because when he wasn’t with her,  _ being _ with her was the only thing running through his head.

Fuck he loved that girl.

It was startling each time it hit him, smacked into him like a barroom brawl, a beer bottle straight to the back of the head, shoulder tackle to the gut, and once again his hands came to a standstill. He’d thought it before, damn broken record at this point, he was lucky, blessed, fortunate, whatever the fuck a person wanted to call it, that’s what he was. Couldn’t quite get over how he’d been able to find a life worth wanting to have  _ only after _ the whole world had turned to nightmares and ripped flesh. 

Universe sure was fuckin’ weird.

_ Beth _ .

The sound of her footfalls, one of the things about her that was chiseled somewhere along one of his ribs, snapped his head and eyes up to see her striding her way towards him and the house. He loved watching those long legs of hers eat up ground, bend and stretch, wrap around his waist…it was getting impossible to think of much anything else other than Beth in some kind of naked situation. Not that he minded. He just hoped he was able to get it together enough to continue training. Or for fucks sake to fight, without having a moaning Beth Greene pop into his head, probably just in time to get his ass bit by something less fuckin’ enjoyable than her. 

He had to crane his neck around to follow her progress up the stairs, clocked the way she froze halfway to the door like a doe in the woods, before her head swiveled in his direction and she set bright blues on him. That damn tilting pull of his mouth lengthened as her face broke into one of the biggest smiles he’d seen. 

Yeah, he stood  _ no _ chance against that damn look of hers, good thing he wasn’t planning to try.

“You’re  _ here _ .” Happy words said through flashing teeth, as she changed course quickly to come his way.

“Was waitin’ on ya.” He answered with a nod, getting his bow out of the way in time for Beth to straddle his lap. A small wave of uneasiness lapped against his consciousness, eyes flicking around for anyone catching a glimpse. But there didn’t seem to be anyone near, and anyway, he found he sorta liked it best when she was as close as she could get. “Have fun at the garden?”

She shot him a wry look at his teasing, clasping dirt smeared hands behind his neck. “You could come lend a hand sometime ya know.” Releasing the hold on his bow, Daryl wrapped steady hands around either side of her hips, giving her a little satisfied squeeze when he did. The thought about doing just that  _ had _ occurred once or twice, finding her to help out, it’d pestered him only every other goddamn second this morning while he sat twiddling his thumbs.

“Wouldn’ mind?” Cheek bunching one of his eyes almost shut, he stroked a sort of nervous thumb, against her thigh. “Havin’ me shadow ya?”

She shook her head quickly, leaning in just as fast to kiss him rapidly and too short. “Long as you wanted, whenever you wanted.” Mouth quirking a little he nodded, scanning her face, all sweat sheen, rosy hues, and fading scars. “I was thinkin’.” Arms flexing, she brought their torsos closer together and Daryl got a little sidetracked, watching her mouth while she continued. “I know this place is buggin’ you.”

Maybe a little yeah, but honestly, Alexandria had started growing on him around the same time it allowed him to sleep in a bed with Beth. At first it’d felt like he wouldn’t be able to make it work, was sinking through the damn mattress, but if he left and went to sleep on the porch or even the floor…Well, Beth might think it had something to do with her, or that she needed to join him because that was the kind of person she was. There was no way Daryl was going to have her sleep out like a barnyard cat when there was a nice bed for her to snuggle down into.

Everything else, the people, the walls, the too rich houses, and the all so normal-not-normalness did nag at him now and then, but overall,  he hadn’t had time to obsess over that shit while he’d had someone like Beth brightening  _ every _ goddamn thing,  _ every _ goddamn day.  

“S’fine.” He muttered, just before she moved in with a grin to kiss him again, making his damn heart flutter like a hopped up June bug. This one lasted longer, included a little bit of her tongue in his mouth, but he barely got a taste before she slunk back with a cheeky little smile. A look that had him fixing her with a playful one of warning.

_ Don’ even fuckin’ recognize m’damn self anymore. _

The thought should bring with it more rankle and worry maybe, but he was too wrapped up in Beth to see much other than how good that statement felt. All this kissing and being close was giving him ideas of how they could spend their afternoon, he hadn’t come close to having her all the ways he wanted, and not even for a breath as long.

“Why don’t we go huntin’ or somethin’?” It was probably the first time in his life that Daryl hesitated to answer with a resounding yes to going hunting. It was just…the house was empty…and they had all those rubbers…

“Why?” He decided on at last, trying to give himself some time to come up with an excuse other than –  _ I’d rather be fuckin’ ya _ – for why they shouldn’t go hunting, something that  _ wasn’t _ a lie. 

Unless he didn’t  _ need _ another excuse…

“Because, they’ve got their normal, and you’ve got yours,” she was smiling at him with a slightly knowing look that made his ears think about burning, “and there’s no reason we can’t do both.” Awe hell, it was hard to think about talking her out of it, when she’d obviously been worrying about him being happy in this place that she could tell made him feel cagey.

Considering the woman that was so content to be straddling him here at the end of the world, something occurred to him as he slid wanting hands up her sides, moving them to brush up the backside of her ribs. He hadn’t thought to ask her if  _ she’d _ been handling town life alright, it’d just seemed something so pro Beth, he’d figured it was a given. Like how there was never going to be a voice that sounded as good to him as hers. Or, how he loved the way she felt, the way she shivered, and how her lids drooped to a half lidded gaze as she looked at him right now. How it was ok for her to know exactly what he was thinking, because she was thinking the same. 

“Wha’ about you? What’s normal for you?” She might be trying to torture him a little, he realized, stifling a groan as she pivoted those hips forward to press their bodies that much closer, peering upward with a look of mock intense pondering. 

“I think I like me a lil’ a’ both actually,” she said, meeting his eyes with another lively grin that tugged at him, “everythin’ in moderation, that’s what daddy always said.”

His own thin little curve of lips inched higher. “ _ Everythin’? _ ” Coal fire in his gut as her look turned a bit hungry and there was that damn pride thing again, that  _ he _ was the one getting this apple cheeked stunner to get that gleam, and that spark.

“Well,” she hedged in a breath, getting closer once more so her nose could bump his, “ _ some _ indulgence never hurt.”

“Hmmm.” He swore to Christ he didn’t mean to make the damn noise, he was a largely nonverbal type person these days. He’d gotten accustomed to making as little sound as he could to stay alive, and, because he’d stopped having to do that bullshit bravado. 

How the hell was he supposed to know it was going to end up as some kind of horniness trigger for her? Not that he was looking to change that, lessen it in  _ any _ sort of way, didn’t mind at all the way she moaned real quiet and kissed him hard. What kind of a  _ dumb _ sonofabitch wouldn’t want Beth Greene digging her hands into their hair to hold them still while she ran a hot tongue across lips all too willing to part? No, Daryl didn’t plan on quitting humming anytime soon, even if it was something he’d cooked up to tease her, which it wasn’t, it just got him the  _ best _ kisses in the world for him to  _ want _ to do anything else.

He kept up the heady contact a good lung-breaking amount, running restless hands up and down her heaving back once they’d split. Personally, he was pretty ready to fuckin’ go, and not to the woods. But then, some alone time with Beth away from town, _had_ _been_ his initial plan. Until she’d gone and sat on his lap – making all non-naked thoughts fly straight the fuck out of his head.

She closed her eyes and breathed in deep, like she was trying to inhale his goddamn essence right there on their Alexandrian porch, and he’d be damned if he didn’t feel an answering little wobble in his gut that had him sucking in his own chest full of air. Sky blues blinked open at him, and she levered herself up by way of his shoulders, sweet smile in place as she offered him a hand.

The forest was nearly silent, except for all the usual sounds that told him the area was relatively safe for the moment. Crossbow ready and waiting on his back, Daryl could feel the small tug every now and again on his vest where Beth held onto it, her other hand on her knife’s hilt. It was a good idea she’d had to come out here, he figured, feeling his skin settle more comfortably over his bones as they passed near silently through the trees. 

He’d just been hunting a couple days ago, but there tended to be a nagging bit of incompleteness in the solitary pastimes in his life now. As far as Daryl was concerned, the only thing that could possibly make his day any better was finding a soft stretch of ground to fuck Beth on. But that wasn’t likely to happen, ever, because he really  _ was _ dead set on not doing a goddamn thing that’d risk her life. So, things like forest sex, or pregnancy, were things he was vehemently trying to fuckin’ avoid at all costs. Which is how he’d managed to pull himself out, after being balls deep in her last night, the thought of losing Beth was becoming literally his worst nightmare.

After they’d been walking for a good distance, Daryl signaled her to take a break, and they settled against some trees that were a few dragging steps away from their neighbors. He tossed the water bottle to her underhanded and she caught it in a blink, wiggling her eyebrows at him and making him want to laugh.

Felt good, even if it was hard for him to trust.

That’d it last, that nothing bad would happen.

Not anything to do with the two of them on an emotional basis, well nothing with  _ him _ anyway, he loved Beth Greene. That was it. He was done. Fuckin’ game over, sorry any other insane woman thinking of getting his attention from now until the day he was buried, burnt, or bitten. 

He loved Beth, he was gonna love her until the day he died.

And mostly, except for the lowest most insecure parts of him, he believed the same went for her. Being so much younger than he was, there was the slim possibility she’d meet someone she liked better but…well maybe he was too fuckin’ blissed out to be thinking clearly, but he just couldn’t see it happening. Beth had picked him, he couldn’t understand it most of the time, didn’t know when it had started or what made her decide now was the time for them to be together. He was just planning on bear hugging that stroke of genius with everything in him.

It was all the outside shit that he couldn’t see coming that he was worried about, as always, the rival groups, the walkers, illness, accident turned tragedy, that kind of thing…

Her lobbing the bottle back at him yanked his attention back to the moment, and he wasted no time knocking back a swallow or two. They were out to hunt, spend a little time together that didn’t involve getting right to the edge of fuckin’ before someone interrupted for the billionth goddamn time. 

“Wha’ made ya think about comin’ out here?” She looked surprised at his question, and he couldn’t really blame her, he didn’t go in too much for chatting. Listening to her while  _ she _ was chatty was nice, but he didn’t initiate bullshitting sessions as a rule.

“Was just thinkin’, I mean I know you went huntin’ not too long ago but, well,  _ we _ ain’t been out together since before you left with Aaron.” She shrugged thin shoulders, and he watched her until she continued, knowing there was something else there. “Don’t want ya thinkin’ the only time I wanna spend time together is when we’re,” his cock immediately twitched at her heated look, “havin’ sex. An’ maybe I wanna make sure that’s not the  _ only _ thing we’re doin’ together.”

“Hell.” He groused, flicking a squint eyed look at her. “Why not?”

“Oh stop.” Laughing, she wobbled her head a little bit while rolling her eyes. “You know we gotta be doin’ more ‘en that.” He gave her a blank stare, thinking to tease her into a kiss or something, but she got all thoughtful on him instead and he had to change gears. “Daddy said if you don’t have hope what’s the point of livin’?” 

That was the second time today she’d brought up Hershel, maybe it was working out in the garden, or the way things were changing so fast that’d brought him to the surface of her thoughts. Either way, Daryl felt the necessity to do more than stand and blink at her, taking an uncertain step forward he caught up her hand in his, irritated when his face heated. He really was a shitty adult, could kill the dead  _ and _ the living if need be without pause, but hold his girl’s hand even when no one could see it? 

Yeah, fuckin’ blush worthy event right there.

“So that’s it.” She continued, twining their fingers and offering him a pleased smile at his miniscule effort that in no way deserved that sweet a look. “I want…I want you ta’ be my hope, an’ I’ll be yours. And I’m thinkin’ somewhere along the way more hope’ll come along, it’s bound to.”

Fuck she was hitting him with both barrels right now. He agreed with everything she was saying, hell it already felt like something he’d known in his chest even if his head hadn’t gotten that far along yet. It was just, he was developed kinda poorly when it came to the emotional shit. Could think it all day, how much he loved her, how he would love her until there wasn’t anything left of him, but never in his lifetime did he expect himself capable of saying all that out loud…where she could fuckin’  _ hear _ it and shit. 

“An’ what if it don’?” Wasn’t trying to be a prick, or close up on her, he was just…scared, and he wasn’t supposed to be. Not of…of anything.

She searched him for a moment, sliding down a few nerves into his brain, seeing something there that thankfully made her feel confident enough to pull herself over to him by their joined hands.

“Then at least we’ll have  _ some _ for a little while longer. I ain’t plannin’ on dyin’ anytime soon.”

He was able to nod before she was kissing him, nothing to get them wound up, just something that barely did the trick of getting him to not bring up the point that none of the people they’d lost had  _ planned _ on it. But then, they’d been out having themselves a nice little day in the woods, so he cupped her face and kissed her deep until it  _ did _ start to rile him. Drawing back, he ran quick eyes over her face as she looked up at him, hoping to the point of prayer that he’d be given even more time with her than what he’d had.

She took a shaky breath and he could tell she was about to try to take his mind off the dark places it’d slunk to. No doubt his damn face had shown her everything she needed to know exactly what he was thinking

“So ya still thinkin’ on that nickname?” 

_ Well that’ll do it. _

“Christ, again?” He scoffed, not dropping her hand as he resumed their trek, not until she was talking and gunning to be a pain in his ass. 

Technically, she’d lain off the nickname subject for a while. It was just…he had the sinking suspicion that if she looked at him too woe begotten over it, he’d spill his secret quicker than shit. Keeping his eyes on scanning the trees around them, he did his best to prolong the inevitable.

“Oh come on Daryl, you don’t want one, which I don’t get-”

“Why’d I wanna hear ya call me honey or babe?” He grumbled, darker than he felt, already thinking about where he was going to end up having to take her, and steering them that way subtly as she continued, arm tugging morosely on his vest.

“It’s just somethin’ that shows we’re close, I dunno.” It wasn’t hard for Daryl to know the moment he fucked up, casting a quick glance back at her, seeing her crestfallen expression that immediately made him feel like the prickliest prick to ever exist. 

Sighing, he took another all-encompassing check of their surroundings before stopping. 

“Look.” This was going to be even  _ more _ talking, this is what love did, made him talk. 

Being reasonably sure he wasn’t letting a walker sneak up on them, Daryl turned and pulled her into him, hands going to curve around the sides of her neck, keeping her in place, as he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. It might make it easier for him, if he didn’t have to have her squinting at his soul while he was telling her.

“I don’ wantcha callin’ me any a’ that shit because I  _ like _ hearin’ ya call me by m’name.”

He felt as her hands came to bunch in his shirt. “Oh. Really?”

“Mhmmm,” he hummed out, knocking her nose lightly, “like the way it sounds when you’re hollerin’ at me, or callin’ me when it’s time t’ eat.” Ignoring the tightness of his  _ no doubt _ reddened skin, he kept going before he lost his nerve and all respect for himself. “Way it sounds when it sighs outta ya, like a’ curse, when I’m inside ya.”

Beth’s small fists made surprised little scrubbing motions against his abdomen, which somehow only served to make him hard, his body didn’t make any kind of sense to him anymore.

“A-alright then.” Yeah that breathy sound in her voice wasn’t going to make his hard-on go anywhere at all…but there was no way, not in the woods with no kind of shelter to keep her safe.

“Yeah?” Daryl opened his eyes, moving his face back enough to be able to get a good look at her pinked cheeks and wide eyes.

“Yeah.” Answering instantly, she seconded it with a jerking nod, gaze tripping to his mouth with every other bob of her head. Steeling himself, Daryl kept going, seeing the steps that lead to his name for her coming out in his mind.

“Ya want me to, I can call ya one a’ them pet names. I get that ya like it, I jus’ don’. Not for me.”

Another wide eyed nod.

“Ya got somethin’ in mind that ya’d like?”

Head shake this time.

It was getting the smallest bit funny, like this little peek into his mind had completely blown hers. Narrowly keeping the smile from his face, Daryl jerked his chin in the direction they’d need to head next.

“Got somethin’ I’ve been meanin’ t’ show ya. C’mon.”

“Yeah ‘course.” She smiled at him with her answer, and he felt less nervous about telling her, not a lot, but some. Problem was, she could hate it, think he was an idiot for his pick, but it was too late now – the nickname had twined itself around her in his mind – girl was stuck with it one way or another.

It wasn’t a terribly long walk to get to the patch of ground he had in mind, it’d worried him when he’d first made the connection, since they were in Virginia, that he wouldn’t be able to find it to show her, if he…well if the shit that had  _ just _ happened came to pass. But sure enough what he’d been looking for was common enough to stretch this far north. Stopping in front of one plant in particular, Daryl motioned to it, feeling the anxiety weeble wobble its way up his spine, as he clutched onto his bow strap.

“What is it?” Hopefully it was a good sign for him that she looked so interested while she studied what he’d pointed at, flicking a smile over to him before looking back at the winding stems and glossy leaves.

Taking a deep, probably unnecessary, breath he glared at her mildly when she looked back at him inquisitively. “S’not a stupid  _ peach _ .” 

There was a heavy amount of confusion before her mouth was coming open slightly, uncertainty warring with comprehension and maybe a hint of excitement.

“It…makes ya think of me?” 

He couldn’t look at her, it’d be faster if he could just stare at the twirling stems and blanketing thorns, list off what he knew about it like this was one of their training sessions and he was just looking to keep her alive, yeah he could do that, nodding to himself and to her, he began talking quick and low.

“Plant can save yer life if you’re stuck out in the woods. Lil’ tendrils there? Ya can pick ‘em off eat ‘em jus’ like that. Ain’t gotta cook ‘em at all. One a’ the only ones out here tha’s a good source a’ protein too. Springtime, they got these little clusters a’ berries, bluish-black lookin’ things. Flavor’s surgery” –  _ an’ wild, taste jus’ fuckin’ like ya _ – “See that thicker stem part?”

The body of the plant wasn’t nearly as sweetly whimsical looking as the baby curlicues that wound their way up around the surrounding trees and bushes, no these thicker stems bristled like wartime with thorns. Beth was watching him avidly, and his voice was sounding more and more like he’d used the damn things he was gesturing at to gargle with before starting this fuckin’ speech of his.

“That thing ain’t gonna let ya crush it all the way through ‘til ya hit some tough little pit.” He muttered, remembering peach mush trailing down his fingers and onto his clothes. “Fucker’ll make ya pay for every  _ inch _ ya try ‘an take from it.” Swallowing passed the dry pain in his throat, he took a step over and carefully grasped a leaf, delicately thumbing aside a few of the thorns and breaking them off. “But it ain’t hard t’ get close to…if ya take yer time.”

There was a choked breath from next to him, and he looked over at her in time to catch the body that had thrown itself at him. Beth’s arms snaked around his neck hugging hard, shocked as shit, Daryl hugged her back, his arms banding around her back. He hadn’t quite expected this reaction, he was slightly alarmed, but also pleased as a motherfucker.

“What’s it called?” 

_ Oh fuck, right, the whole goddamn point. _

“Greenbrier.” The answer came out in a croaking crack of his vocal chords, and clearing his throat, Daryl tried again as he gave her what’d been substituted for her name in his mind most days since the first time they’d kissed. “ _ Brier _ .”

She pulled back enough to give him a moonshine smile, eyes a little over bright for someone who’d just been told they’d been nicknamed after a common (thorny) forest plant. But then again, he’d known she was weird for a long time now. Had to be, to see  _ any _ reason to love and stick with his ignorant ass. 

“You’re amazin’.” It was a near thing, that kept him from ducking his head in embarrassment, took him right back to when this thing with them had first been starting, after Atlanta, when he’d come back to the group with that deer. 

_ An’ shit, ya thought she made you feel ten feet tall  _ then _. _

“Jus’ a name, picked from a damn obnoxious climbin’ vine tha’s too bossy for its own good.”

She gave him a folded lip smile that wasn’t fooling anyone, able to tell no problem how uncomfortable all this was making him. Hadn’t they planned to go hunting? What the hell had happened to  _ that _ idea?

“ _ How’re _ they bossy?”

“Boss me around plenty.” He grumbled, even as she laid a soft kiss to his stubbled cheek, shooting him a disbelieving smile after she’d drawn back again. “I ain’t bein’ cute woman, look at them thorns, ya got any idea how irritatin’ it is to hunt around these things?”  

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever known Daryl Dixon.”

_ Oh Christ. _

“Tchuh.” He scoffed shaking his head, bashfulness reaching critical levels, almost to the point of wanting to shrug her off him…almost. “Stop.”

Beth simply smiled and shook her head back at him, before pushing up on her tip toes to kiss him, and their no PDA in the woods rule was getting shot to hell once again. 

“Take me home Daryl.” 

Getting a good read on the look in her eyes he nodded without argument or question.

“Alrigh’ Brier.” He graveled out, landing another quick kiss. “I c’n do that.”

A single thought kept running like a fox from a pack of hounds in his mind once the two of them got safely locked behind their bedroom door.

_ Dangerous _

That’s how he felt. Couldn’t really figure the exact  _ why _ , maybe she’d split him too far open, got him to show her enough for him to feel safe enough not to reign everything in. Or maybe that switch she’d flipped shouldn’t have been, it might have been there to keep someone safe.

Or fuck, maybe he just loved this woman so goddamn much he was out of his head with it.

Didn’t matter much in the end, because when she moved to walk around their bed, milky arms snatching up the hem of her shirt, he was behind her in two quick steps. Tugging the thing out of her grasp to toss it in the general direction of the hamper before his mouth was pressed into the crook of her neck. Thick dirty fingers rubbing their way down the hitching surface of her belly to dive under the line of her jeans. He didn’t give a fuck if he busted the fuckin’ button of her pants if it meant getting a few fingertips on her clit instead of fooling with the obstacles.

Arms scrambling around in front of them, Beth did the work for him even as he felt the waistband tearing some hair and skin from his forearms. Index and middle finger of his left hand pushed against her bundle of nerves a little roughly, and he felt her convulse against the hold he had on her, Daryl’s biceps had no problem keeping her in place, in fact he flexed and pulled tighter, better to rub his swelling dick against her ass. His right hand started a measured, but insistent massage on top of her mound, trying and mostly failing to chill his ass out while she writhed, scratching and gasping with each movement he made.

Slipping a middle finger inside, Daryl grated against the dryness of his throat, somewhere in his head he was trying to track her sounds and body language as he slid his other hand to roll against her clit while swirling the digit he had buried up to the knuckle inside her. Beth was doing what she could to remove her pants, but seemed to get distracted when he removed a hand from below her waistline to cup and squeeze a rose tipped tit. 

The fuck had she done to him?

The underwear and zipper grinding his cock wasn’t what he needed, and while he’d like to spend days fingering Beth until she couldn’t function, let alone leave their bed, he wanted to sink inside her, make her cuss him a bit. Releasing his hold, slickened winking fingers went to work divesting himself of his own clothing, while he enjoyed the show of watching Beth shimmy out of hers. Damn girl hadn’t even been wearing a goddamn bra the whole time she’d been with him, good fuckin’ thing he hadn’t known that shit while they were in the woods.

He’d have gotten them killed, makin’ her cry for him out there.

His vision was a bit wonky, kept trying to blink the mix of black and sparking bits out of the way, but they danced and shimmered every time his eyes shifted to a newly bared area of Beth’s pale body. Thought process was on the damn fritz too, had to be, for him to push her on the bed like he was. To palm himself watching that sweetly curving ass as she shuffled her way up to crawl more fully onto the mattress. She was pushing at the covers that had been left balled in the middle, but he couldn’t seem to care about any of that as he moved to knee walk his way to her, pushing down on a flexing shoulder, putting her right on her face, that ass sticking up as she made a little noise of surprise.

Christ but she looked good like this, made him want to…Leaning forward, one hand on the bed to steady him while the other one went to the small of her back, Daryl ran lips then teeth over that bunched bit of flesh, biting until she wiggled. Had to stop that shit, he released his mouthful, breathing heavily on the now reddened skin. He’d already left marks all over her, had blushed something awful when he’d seen them, even as they’d made him hard. Little bruises and teeth marks on her clavicle, their first time, and then her shoulder, the morning after…Jesus if he wasn’t a mutt with poor training. 

His attempt to calm down, get a hold of himself, got waylaid by the smell of her that was easy enough for him to breathe in deeply, being this close to her. And there went the fucking switch again, as he hauled her up by her hips, ducking down to run a seeking tongue along the length of her slit, feeling the moan before he heard it. No idea what he was doing, didn’t slow him down at all, wanted a taste, that was all that mattered, and that was what he was going to get.

Lips and tongue, fuck even his nose, moving her glistening folds aside, licking until he wished he could unhinge his fucking jaw to get at more of her. But it wasn’t the angle he wanted, neck bowed awkwardly, he wanted that little bundle of nerves, could feel it tremble against his tongue every time he flicked and worked it. He wanted to know what sounds Beth would make if he sucked it, ran his teeth over it real gentle, he could do that, he could calm the fuck down enough to be gentle.

She whined and flexed her hips, running herself down his tongue, and he dove it inside her before drawing back. Had to flip her over, no matter how fuckin’ much this position and view of her was ramping him up, wanted to make her…

Grabbing a hip, Daryl pushed her to one side, liking the stretch of back and ripple of ribs under skin, as she crumpled to one side. About to complete the rotation, he grumbled beast like, when she clutched at the mattress and dragged herself back to the same position. He’d sunk one split knuckled hand into an ass cheek, when she threw a look at him over her shoulder, and he stilled like she’d spoken a command aloud.

“Like this.” 

_ Yes ma’am. _

Gripping himself, Daryl moved forward, propping a hand above her shoulder, near to her face, he looked down. Throat muscles working as he rubbed the head of his cock against  _ his _ already tongue worked little pussy, that Beth was good enough to spread wider for him with her bent kneed stance on the bed. Guiding into the already vising hold of her, he barely recognized the guttural noise that vibrated out of him. She couldn’t handle the weight of him, sinking them both into the mattress, but he liked that just fine, ran him from chest to cock along her back and he moved to slide an arm under one of hers, searching and finding a small shaking hand that clung to him.

He should check to see if he was smashing her, should ask her if she could breathe, if it felt alright, if she was ready, if she still loved him. But instead he drew his hips back and plunged down, groaning at her cry and the way she tightened around him. Made his next thrust even harder, using his arms and the entirety of his fucking body to move into her, hips smacking and pushing at her ass until he was fully inside her once more.

_ Check on her. _

The voice was distant, barely able to be heard through the sounds of flesh and throats. He was all around her, wrapping her up just like she was him, stomach and chest slicking across her back, arms housing her small frame, her shoulder slamming into one arm with each thrust even as her hand wrung the feeling from his other hand. Couldn’t see her face, she had it buried into the wrinkled sheets, had no idea where her other fucking hand was, it’d disappeared under her, wasn’t working her clit – he’d have felt it – maybe was using it to stifle her cries.

And she  _ was _ crying, he could feel it in his sternum as he bowed his back and snapped his hips, forgetting his earlier shyness about leaving marks, and sunk his teeth into her shoulder blade. He was getting so goddamn close. She was sucking him inside so hard with each thrust, it was going to be the head resting on the back of her neck that was going to explode. Daryl almost told her to touch herself, remembering at the last moment what she’d told him. Trying to pull free of her hold, he stopped the attempt when he saw her shake her head in his peripheral.

“Beth?” He could barely recognize his own voice. “You alrigh’?”

_ Now, now you check? _

She didn’t answer, and panic made his next thrust stutter and stall.

“ _ Brier _ ?”

He was about to pull out, when Beth thrust back hard into him, clicking his fucking teeth shut to keep the moan as tempered as he could manage. When he began moving again, so did she, and he knew he couldn’t last much longer. Not with the added sensation, not with the fucking relief that coursed through him.

“You close?” He breathed along her neck, nose getting knocked by her ear when she shook her head. The fuck she mean, she  _ wasn’t _ close?  _ Jesus Christ _ . “M’gonna finish without ya, you best get that way pretty fuckin’ quick.” 

Daryl’s spine and back were beginning to tingle and prickle, and Beth yanking his hand in hers down the sweat soaked length of her body, forcefully pressing his fingers against her mound was about to do him in. Daryl wasn’t about to have that, they’d _done_ _that_ shit already, he wasn’t a fan – coming before her – made him lose that proud male feeling he was becoming sort of attached to.

At least with this.

“Greedy little shit.” The words rumbled over her ridges of cartilage, and he watched as she finally turned her head so he could see, damn side of her hand between her flashing teeth once more, eyes scrunched closed. “You fuckin’ like it this way dont’cha?”

She whined through her improvised gag, Daryl started hard circuits of her clit, watching in fascination as her cheeks puffed and her nostrils flared. His arms were tiring and he wasn’t coming only by the grace of god, figured, that fuckin’ Beth Greene would make him find religion, but he somehow didn’t want to stop, if it kept that look on her face.

He must have pressed and thrust just right, because suddenly Beth was crying out a moan that was high pitched enough that it made him worry, sounded like it hurt, like she hurt, but she was shutting around him so hard his concern slipped as his body reminded him he’d been ready to come a  _ long _ fucking time ago.

Beth was going boneless beneath him as she rode out the aftershocks, moving both arms to rest on his elbows, Daryl ignored the trembling in his legs and arms long enough to slide his hands to be holding both of hers. Having a bit of a fight at first to pull one from beneath her languid body and the other from her mouth, holding tight, he pumped heavily into her, his orgasm was right there and he was chasing it like a last meal. Didn’t worry about pulling out because he’d gotten the…

His frame locked for a few moments as he came hard, groaning it out against her spine, as he emptied out everything he had. Knees sliding out from under him, he felt his weight settle into Beth with a kind of warm finality, and he wanted to move, except he really didn’t, and so lay there trying to track her breathing in case it became labored.

He had to be smothering her, was so much larger than she was, but she didn’t squirm or twitch underneath him. Pulled in air and released it carefully, and he felt like he’d melded their bodies together, locked inside her by his weakly pulsing dick. His girl felt like embodied bliss wrapped around him like she was, and when she pivoted her hips, he was at her mercy. Because as drained as he was…he might stroke out, but his mind was willing to go again if his body could find the ability.

“Don’t pull out.” She murmured, sounding so husky, it caused a slight thrusting reflex that made them both moan. “I wanna go again.”

Rubbing her thumbs along his fingers, she craned her neck a little, and he slid to the side some to meet her gaze. He couldn’t, not right away, but she felt so good…Maybe he could delay her some, go down on her again to give his body time to recoup, he just needed to throw the rubber in the trash and then he could go about turning her over and…

Cock twitching inside her, Daryl froze, eyes still locked with hers as realization seemed to dawn on both of them. Beth clenched around him experimentally and he cursed while tugging himself out, air hit his naked dick, and he seemed to be able to do nothing other than gather himself up on his knees and stare down at it confusion. Now granted, it looked soaked enough to make him feel the beginnings of getting hard all over again, but sure as shit, the damn thing was devoid of a rubber. 

Hadn’t he?

Well obviously he fucking had  _ not _ .

His eyes slipped back up to where Beth was gazing at the same place he had been, she flicked her sight up to his. After the soul shaking sex he’d just had, Daryl was doing his best to prepare for whatever panic, fear, or anger she was about to unleash on him. He was an idiot, a horny idiot, he’d gone and stole those fucking condoms and then promptly forgotten to wear one the  _ second _ time he and Beth had had sex after getting them. 

How did one go about kicking their own ass? It’d been a long time since he’d seen  _ Liar Liar _ …

“I don’t care.” Beth’s voice snapped him back to reality, watching in shock as she pulled herself up enough to turn over, lean legs spreading once more before him. “We’ll use one this next time.” Jerking a head towards his bedside table, she gave him a look that had shivers wrapping his limbs. “C’mere.”

He should freak out about this more.

He’d do it later.

Beth pivoted her hips, flashing silky pink at him.

Much… _ much _ …later.

Far as he was concerned, it was  _ still _ a good goddamn day.

Now he just had to hold onto that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh, drama. Thoughts ideas concerns? Give it to me in the feedback if you are so inclined to take the time, and our honeymoon period is over folks, here comes wolves, walkers, and baseball bats. Probably a good deal of pain as well, but we'll have to see.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support peeps, don't know when the next update will be, I'll try to get used to the work load quick as I can but until then there might not be any updates for a bit.

**Chapter 26**

“Oh my God Beth, tell me you’re jokin’!?”

Hissing out a command, she looked around from their spot in the gazebo, eyes widening in irritation at Maggie once she’d established that no one was nearby enough to hear their conversation. The topic of which, embarrassingly enough, was her sex life (which Jesus, Mary, and Joseph was incredible) and her and Daryl’s bit of absentmindedness the day before. She knew it was possible, of course, that she was pregnant. 

It only took once she knew that. 

The thing was, she just highly doubted it for some reason. Which was perhaps a little naïve of her, maybe Daryl was super virile and so were his sperm, and for all she knew she could be the most fertile woman left in the apocalypse. But there was no way for her to  _ know _ any of this for certain, and until she had undeniable proof of  _ being _ pregnant, she wasn’t going to worry herself to death about it.

Unfortunately for her, Daryl did not agree with this outlook whatsoever, and it had taken him all of a few hours to completely shut down on her. He wasn’t cold or snappish, no, after he’d gone down on her again and kissed along her body and used his fingers, and she’d thought she were about to shake herself to pieces. He’d reached into the bedside drawer, ripped through the little foil package, and then, once he’d gotten the condom in place, they’d had sex again. So slow and soft it’d made tears stream from her eyes, she’d been glad his own blues were tight shut with his forehead pressed to hers, dipping down now and then to kiss the breath from her lungs.

He’d come and she hadn’t, but each of her previous orgasms had spiraled her body into such a tingling swollen mess she couldn’t  _ actually _ say that she hadn’t with any kind of certainty. Each thrust had felt like its own kind of orgasm by the end of it. And when he’d reached down to touch her with his fingers once more, she’d clasped his wrist and shaken her head. She’d been all raw nerve and satisfaction, another push over the edge had felt almost dangerous.

It was later, much later, as she’d been all wrapped up in his arms, still trying to remember if her skin was made of sparks or flesh…that she’d noticed the steadily tightening of his hold. And when she’d tipped her head back to get a look, had found him staring blankly at the ceiling, she could still remember the panic and hurt that had tumbled out with his name. But he’d held her close, blinked and kissed her, refusing to let her go,  _ or _ talk about what was bothering him even though she’d already  _ known _ the cause.

Which had only served to rile her up more, they’d just had literally the best day she could recall, and since he’d kept going after the discovery was made, and enthusiastically so – she’d kind of hoped that he’d deal with it the same way she’d decided to. So they’d lain in bed, him becoming more like an iron giant around her, and her seething in irritation, until she’d muttered something about needing to pee. He’d let her go and she’d gone to the bathroom and showered, found him dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed when she came out.

But they were getting better with the fight thing, and he’d wrapped her up once more, muttering apologies into her wet hair while his hands rubbed her towel covered back. And she’d sighed out her irritation and apologized too, just because it felt like he’d ended up regretting half the times they’d had sex, didn’t mean he loved her any less or wasn’t happy with her. Of course Daryl would freak out over getting her pregnant, things were dangerous enough and he hated losing people.

They’d gone about the rest of their day and been mostly alright, had slept near one another, and she’d woken again with his arm weighing her into place. But she could tell it was still bothering him pretty severely, the man was walking around and getting things done looking haunted and sick. So she’d pulled Maggie outside, didn’t know what else to do. He’d barely opened up any more while they were apologizing to one another than the first time she’d asked him to talk to her about it. She knew what she  _ wanted _ to do to try to make him forget about it…but considering the cause for his drawn face and hunched shoulders, she doubted that it’d do the trick.

“Don’t lecture me Maggs,” she groused lowly, taking in her sister’s wide eyes, “An’ don’t you dare say anythin’ to Daryl or look at him any kinda weird way either. He looks about ready to go to pieces as it is.”

“Look.” Maggie led, taking a deep breath and fixing Beth with as neutral a stare as she probably possessed. “I’m not tryin’ to make  _ either _ one of you feel bad about it, I mean, we’ve all been there.” The two sisters exchanged awkward nods of understanding while Beth had a moment to feel like she’d entered the Twilight Zone or something. To be having this conversation with Maggie where and when and about  _ who _ that she was.

“Thank you.”

Her older sister nodded once more before continuing. “I didn’t mean to…” She made a rolling motion with her hand like something was popping out of her mouth. “I just, all of a’ sudden you were sixteen again and I wanted to  _ kill _ Daryl, and everythin’ in the middle got a little hazy, but I’m fine now.” Maggie gave her a reassuring little smile. “Really the only thing you  _ can _ do about it, is talk to him sis, and if he isn’t ready to do that then you gotta give him time until he is.”

Beth huffed out a sigh and bobbed her head in answer, she’d known this was the case, but it felt better getting Maggie to back up her theory. It didn’t help that Aaron had come by earlier today to invite them over for dinner. She’d have rather gone when things between her and Daryl weren’t all up in the air, but there wasn’t much of a way to back out without seeming rude or airing their dirty laundry to the man. It’d be alright, it wasn’t like they were  _ fighting _ , it was just that neither of them were very good at hiding their emotions and she doubted Daryl would welcome inquiries about his mood.

“The thing that’s  _ really _ obnoxious.” Beth grumbled almost to herself. “Is that I haven’t gotten my dang period regularly since the  _ farm _ . I don’t want him walkin’ around, beatin’ himself up, an’ lookin’ at me like I’m already six feet under for X amount of weeks or  _ months _ until it does decide to show up.” Blushing slightly and unable to make herself look Maggie’s way she added. “And I  _ really _ don’t wanna wait that long for us to sleep together again, if he gets dead set on punishing himself until we  _ do _ know for sure.”

“Awe gosh sis.” Her face heated even more at Maggie’s teasing tone. “Y’all really are fully twitterpated with one another aren’t ya?” At Beth’s nod, the playful note in her sister’s voice intensified. “I mean, we all worked that out for ourselves at the party, just how  _ happy _ Daryl is with the two a’ you bein’ together anyway.” 

_ Oh Lord. _

At her panicked expression Maggie let out a laugh before patting Beth on the back.

“I don’t think  _ everyone _ heard, but it sure seemed like our people started talkin’  _ real loud _ all at the same time, while the Alexandrian’s were lookin’ so dang confused, it was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a  _ long _ while.”

“You don’t think Daryl’ll hear about it do you?”

“Screw Daryl,  _ I _ wanna hear about it!” Beth figured this must be the most she’d seen her sister laugh recently, and while it was of course at her expense, she couldn’t help a few shocked chuckles from escaping her throat as Maggie got a hold of herself. “Not that I need to know the particulars or anythin’, but sis, that man walks around like…like…”  _ A God? _ “I don’t know, it’s  _ Daryl _ , I just couldn’t believe I heard that kinda noise commin’ from him  _ at all _ .”

“Well, it’s good you don’t want the details  _ sis _ , ‘cause I ain’t tellin’ you a  _ thing _ about it.” Maggie went to give her a pinch on the thigh, and Beth dodged with another laugh, doing her best to block the resulting onslaught of quick diggings while trying to get in a few tweaking grabs of her own. 

“Ugh Bethy, you’re no fun at all.” Maggie griped once they’d settled down a bit, nudging Beth with a shoulder and a smile. “Glad for you. Glad for you  _ both _ . Y’all deserve to be happy, makin’ eyes at one another an’ blushin’ ta’ match.” Green eyes winked a bit at her as Maggie continued. “It’s about the cutest thing I ever saw.” 

“He’s the best Maggs, he’s just…” Beth sighed happily, and a little dejectedly, thinking about the day before in the woods, and then, all of the  _ after _ too. “Sweet an’ funny, an’ I know he’s only worried about somethin’ bad happenin’ to me or the baby if I  _ am _ …” She motioned in mild irritation at her midriff. “It’s not like he’s freaked out ‘cause he isn’t lookin’ to stick with me or anythin’ like that.”

Maggie nodded sympathetically, moving her hand on the bench they sat on to take Beth’s and the two sat in peaceful silence for a while before her older sister began speaking a little haltingly.

“Not that I’m wantin’ you ta’ be, since the two of you just got together and aren’t lookin’ to have baby make three, but it wouldn’t be the  _ second _ end of the world I don’t think, if you were.” That was a bit of a shock, Beth looked at Maggie in stark confusion, while it was the truth, the thought seemed out of nowhere before she noticed her sister’s hesitant expression. “I mean, then our kids would be real close in age.”

Feeling like her brain had suddenly dropped through her gut, Beth shook her head to feel the thing jerk around inside before she attempted any kind of speech.

“ _ You’re _ ?”

Maggie nodded, looking scared and excited all at once, before Beth was half tackling her against the gazebo’s railing. There was of course the fear that came with the hot spike of joy, but she wanted  _ all _ the good things for her sister, and that included a family with kids. They’d discussed it so often while growing up, what they’d name their children, how many they’d have, and then all this had happened and it’d seemed impossible…like watching the children they hadn’t had be slaughtered in front of them.

“We don’t know for certain of course.” Maggie laughed as the two rocked back forward and Beth dropped her arms to clutch her sister’s hands in hers. “But we’ve been tryin’ and I think I am.”

“That’s amazing! Oh Maggie I’m so friggin’ happy for you!” 

“Thanks Bethy,” she was grazed with an unsure green eyed smile, “I could’a picked a better time to tell ya maybe, but I didn’t want you thinkin’ you were the only one goin’ through it ya know,  _ if _ you are.”

Beth beamed at her sister and wrapped her up in another hug.

“Could you imagine Glenn an’ Daryl havin’ ta’ deal with both of us pregnant?” She whispered into Maggie’s ear, and the two shook apart with laughter at the idea.

“Things are gonna be just fine little sister.” Maggie told her after they’d calmed down a bit, running an affectionate hand over Beth’s cheek. “I mean, they might not be…” She waved off the snort that accompanied this backtrack and fixed her younger sister with a smirking glare while she continued. “But what  _ matters _ , is that we’re together an’ can figure it out.” 

Beth figured that was true enough, as the two left the shelter of the gazebo, walking arm in arm down the road towards the house. All of the incredible events that had happened since the prison alone had led them all here, and any  _ one _ of those events going differently could’ve ended her up as walker or worm food. But instead here she was, walking down a quiet neighborhood street with her sister (who might be expecting) on her way to find the man she loved, and even if things were a little strained with them it could always be worse...

“Was it on the bathroom sink? It was, wasn’t it?” Maggie let out another gust of laughter as Beth hip checked her roughly, only their entwined arms keeping the brunette on her feet.  

Her sister was impossible.

She had plans to track down Daryl so that they could do some  _ actual _ hunting. And no doubt Maggie needed to get back to Deanna, who was handling her heartbreaking losses with a lot more character than her son, from what Beth had seen. 

Turning a corner of the street, an uneasy chill whiplashed down her spine as she took in the scene that was happening at her and Maggie’s planned destination. There was her man on the front steps like he preferred, especially if she wasn’t in the house, sharpening his knife – or had been. Now he was pointing it in the general direction of the Monroe’s place, lips thinned to a slash across his face as he spit out some kind of reply to Spencer…who was apparently suicidal or something with the death of his brother and father.

Dropping her hold on Maggie, Beth began to half-jog down the street, keeping a watchful eye on both men as the younger one spread his arms while taking a step closer, the pose one of nonchalance even as it got him closer to the irritated redneck. There was no way in the holy hells that Spencer was actually wanting to fight Daryl, something about the well-to-do rich kid screamed coward to Beth. Then again, maybe it wasn’t cowardice, but more of an untried and unsure hesitancy that alcohol consumption and grief were bolstering.

He probably thought Daryl wouldn’t dare hurt him much, after everything that had happened since the Georgia group had gotten here. 

Spencer was an idiot.

He also had no idea that the redneck had been brooding steadily since yesterday, and also the distinct possibility that he  _ too _ was spoiling for a fight. She could see it in the tense set of Daryl’s body, and that ready look behind the glare that told of a man well acquainted with violence. 

Maybe didn’t seek it out – but found it familiar and comforting in times of stress nonetheless.

“Daryl!” Her call drew his eyes like a knee jerk reflex, and she beamed at him as she closed the distance between them. Could easily read the warning in his gaze to stay back, he didn’t want to show or be shown affection right now, didn’t know if the little punk in front of him was going to try something…

And was on edge anyhow.

Beth could hear Maggie at her heels, passed Spencer without a glance, and ignored for once the unspoken communication being sent her way. Her smile stayed fixed in place, because when she got closer, Daryl instinctively kept the weapon in his hand away from her. Sheathing the blade, he barely had gotten it placed next to him on the step, when she was on her knees, resting on the step below the one he was sitting on. Fisting leather, leaning and arching her body, Beth felt a little thrill when he dipped down for her kiss after only the slightest pause of irritation or embarrassment. 

She knew he didn’t like doing this kind of thing out where people could see them. That he didn’t want the teasing or criticism, but she also knew that it made him feel better to kiss her. Easy to know when it did the same for her, and also, it bothered Spencer who was taking his pain out on everyone around him like a prick. So really a win win. 

When Daryl’s mouth left hers, she flashed him one of her brightest smiles, liking how he was barely able to flick a glance the other man’s way before being pulled back to her. The slight pinch in his brows said that he knew she was trying to distract him, but he must not mind the attempt, keeping his gaze on hers instead of eyeing the grieving man at her back. Doing her best to act like she hadn’t seen Spencer whatsoever, Beth began speaking, hoping Maggie would drag the moron out of harm’s way.

“It’s trainin’ time, ya ready?” His expression stayed grumpy and he didn’t reply other than an extra loud exhale through his nose. “Look. I know,  _ I know _ , I got us all distracted yesterday an’ we didn’t get much huntin’ done.” She tugged, mostly involuntarily, at his vest as the memories of yesterday assaulted her vision, making it necessary to swallow before continuing. “I promise to focus, we can hunt or work on hand-to-hand, your pick.” 

There was the lowest register of talking going on behind her, and she stubbornly held his sight, as she felt more than saw their two spectators leave. The departure was confirmed in the more relaxed curve of broad shoulders, and the smoothing of furrowed brow. Daryl brought his hands to rest on her biceps at last, and Beth crinkled her nose at him happily until he scoffed.

“Man has any sense,” he ticked his chin towards the place Spencer had been standing, “he’ll thank ya once he sobers up for savin’ his dumbass.”

“Oh you wouldn’a killed him.” She grinned at his squint, while he rubbed unconsciously at her arms before replying.

“Accidents fuckin’ happen, ‘specially in the middle a’ beatin’ the shit outta some asshole.”

“He’s just not handlin’ his grief the best.” That earned her another scoffing sound, and she decided now would probably be the best time to stop talking about the current subject. “I wasn’t jokin’ with ya by the way, what are you wantin’ to do?”

His eyes flicked towards her body and Beth felt the precarious ease between them wobble.

“Can’ be doin’ that fight shit.”

“Daryl-”

“Should hunt anyway.” He steamrolled over her voice, eyes skidding from hers, thumbs scrubbing pleading little arcs into her skin. “Food storage’s lookin’ low, used all that game from the other day fer tha’ damn party I didn’ even end up goin’ to.”

“Regrettin’ that?” Beth questioned, glancing at him through her lashes uncertainly, swearing to herself to take more responsibility in the future, making sure they used protection wasn’t just up to him. She just kept getting so caught up in it, the act, the feel, the smell, all of being like that with Daryl was  _ distracting _ to say the very least. It’d literally been the last thing on her mind yesterday,  _ and _ the time during the party…he’d had to be the mature one then too, it wasn’t fair.

Warmth left one of her shoulders as he moved to grasp her ponytail, using his hold to tip her head back so she met his eyes, heat swamped her with his look – made her wonder if they were ever going to get to a place of being able to function normally around one another again. Kind of hoped not on some illogical level, she was a huge fan of the way her heart thrummed against her skin, which felt fire kissed and too tight, like she could stretch from top to bottom and split her seams. 

She liked it, that anytime he looked at her – kept his eyes on her a little longer than they needed to – that that was all it took for her to clench or curl from toes to teeth.

Right now, how he dragged those darkening blues down her face to her mouth, she didn’t want that kind of look to ever stop happening. Blue rimmed black met her gaze, and they sat there while Daryl seemed to send every bit of gasping want, and thrusting, pleasure-filled, moment, from that night through his locked sight on hers.

“Better get goin’.” His rasping suggestion had her nodding against the leash of her hair, and she felt with a pulse, how Daryl gave it an unnecessary pull before releasing it.

Yeah, yeah they’d better get going.

They did much better this time, keeping set on their task, Beth had almost forgotten she’d been getting decent at tracking before Grady and again before Daryl had left with Aaron. She was mostly following his lead this time, wanted more for them to bring back some actual food than for her to have a shot with the bow. But there was a certain satisfaction of keeping up with Daryl’s silent steps, of not scaring away his prey or holding him back once he got on the trail of something. 

A couple possum and a half dozen squirrels later, they were headed back home, the sun thinking of setting when it slipped through the trees at them. Beth felt a startling level of peaceful, one hand resting twined around the hilt of her knife, the other holding affectionately onto Daryl’s vest, they’d got something accomplished even with things being a little off center between them with this whole pregnancy scare issue. She could only hope that he’d be able to get comfortable enough talking to her about it soon, but she’d promised to stay on task while they were out here, so she was going to do just that... 

“Ain’t that I’d never want kids with ya.” She couldn’t help the spasm of her fingers against leather, but kept quiet as she listened. “Jus’ gotcha,” he muttered, sounding almost sulky, “ain’t really lookin’ t’ share ya already. But m’not wantin’ t’ lose ya more.”

“I know.” Answering as quietly as she could, Beth adjusted her hold to by gripping his shirt instead, so she could feel the spongey warmth of his skin against her knuckles. 

With everything in her she wanted to be able to tell him that even if she  _ was _ pregnant, that he wouldn’t lose her, that they’d be just fine like Maggie had told her earlier. But it felt too much like a lie. Sure their situation now was a lot more steady and secure than it had been since the prison, but nobody knew like their group did, how quickly that could get taken. Quicker than you could even blink. It made her scared to think about, for herself and for Maggie, and she knew how deeply things affected Daryl. Loss being the worst, and loving her now…well she didn’t know for certain, but it seemed like something he hadn’t had before. 

Would hurt him even more now than it would have before, and if the baby died too…

“If things weren’t like they are now,” he continued, keeping his eyes scanning around them, “like to, maybe. Someday.” She felt her toe catch and had to recover her balance as he continued his low scratchy murmuring. Like he could say these things, in the sanctity of the woods, that it was the  _ only place _ he felt comfortable enough to pry the secrets from his spinal cord and offer them to her in rumbling and halting sacrifices. “Still might.” 

Attempting to be as unobtrusive as possible, Beth was pretty sure she’d stopped even the air entering her lungs, in case it rasped and caused him to fall silent. 

“Got me all fucked up, s’only been a’ couple a’ weeks…” She could almost hear him screwing up his face as his head twitched in a shake. But she knew what he meant, physically, it’d been a couple of weeks but they’d been overlapping one another a while before that. “Baby. Who’d the fuck ever think a’ givin’ me a ‘ baby?” It was becoming clear to Beth that he was now thinking out loud, which was so strange for Daryl, that she felt it impossible not to respond.

“You’re amazin’ with babies Daryl, an’ kids too.”

“ _ Rick’s _ kids.” He argued, finally turning his head to look at her. “Dixon’s make shit parents girl, you don’ even  _ know _ .” 

She’d had no idea this was such a fear of his. That it started at losing her, but went so much further than that as well. Eyes flicking around their surroundings, she smacked the hand holding his crossbow, until he grudgingly employed the strap and hung the weapon in its customary position on his back. Gathering up his grime smeared fingers with her equally grungy ones, Beth laced them together as they continued their trek.

“Ya might be a Dixon,” she allowed, holding onto him tightly, “but you’re also Daryl, the guy who went an’ got formula for Lil’ Asskicker when Rick was too out of his head, an’ don’t think Carl didn’t tell me about ya talkin’ to ‘im about your mom.” There was a glint of an eye through his hair and she kept going, pressing their forearms together. “You’d be a  _ great _ dad. I  _ don’t _ think I’m pregnant, call it intuition or wishful thinkin’, but I’m hopin’ that I’m not because it’s so soon, not because I think for a  _ second _ you’d make a bad daddy. So don’t  _ you _ be thinkin’ that either.”  

The boundary wall came into view and Daryl brought them to a stop, turning to give her a searching look, hand that wasn’t wrapped up in hers hanging off his bow strap.

“You wantin’ t’ have babies with me Brier?” She tried to smash the smile that turned up the corners of her mouth, since she could tell he was asking it seriously and not to be cute, but it was hard not to grin all moon-eyed at him when he mixed the word ‘babies’ with that nickname, the one that made her love him even more.

“Like you said Daryl,” she answered, stepping up so she could press her lips quickly to his, before moving back enough to hold his gaze, “someday, maybe.”     

A corner of his mouth pulled up a little, and he bobbed his head in acceptance, before they turned towards home. She expected with every quiet fall of their feet that he’d untangle their hold on one another. But when Tyreese opened the gate for them, Daryl’s hand was still cradling hers warmly, and she offered the darkly bearded man a wave as they passed, the redneck nodding his own thanks as they headed by on their way home to get ready for dinner. It was a relief, even if they didn’t know for certain if she was or wasn’t expecting, to have talked everything out the way they had. 

And considering Daryl’s easy embrace on her digits, Beth figured he felt much the same.

Dinner with Aaron and Eric turned out to be exactly what she and Daryl needed to work out the rest of their small amount of angst from the past day. They all worked together, with the other couple learning how to clean and dress one of the possums Beth and Daryl had brought with them to add to their dinner. The corresponding faces this caused Eric to make had Beth just about rolling on the floor with her laughter, after many pleading looks, Aaron took over and suggested his other half go check the soup the meat was going to be added to.

“Oh gosh.” Beth said, grinning as Eric kissed his man before sliding out of the ‘slaughter zone’ as he’d christened it. “Daryl, can I go ‘check the soup’ too?” She tried her best pleading expression, which earned her exactly one scoff and a shaking shaggy head.

“Hell no, ya gotta know this shit Br-Beth.” A glare was shot at her smirk, he apparently didn’t want anyone hearing her nickname, which was just going to cause her to love him more, for even more reasons she couldn’t begin to explain.

“I already do know this  _ shit _ ,” she grumbled, tossing the guts into the sink until Daryl could dispose of them outside, “Eric ya gotta tell me your secrets about gettin’ your way, ‘cause I’m  _ obviously _ doin’ somethin’ wrong over here.”

“Well,” Eric began matter-of-factly from his place of refuge by the stove, “Aaron  _ really _ likes it when I-”

“Oho!  _ Ok then _ , you know Beth, I’m sure Daryl and I can get this finished up if you’d like to help Eric  _ with the soup _ .” Waving her over with a wink, Eric offered Daryl a close lipped smile when the hunter turned disapproving blues his way. When it was clear that the man was unrepentant, Beth watched as the frown was turned on poor Aaron instead. “What? I’m doing you a favor, you  _ do not _ want her knowing that move,” he flicked an embarrassed smile Beth and Eric’s way, “you’ll be helpless.”

“I’ll explain it later.” Eric stage whispered to her, and Beth beamed at him through her heated cheeks. She could catch a bit of Aaron’s muttered warnings to Daryl, and her man’s resolute silence to any and all statements or questions directed his way.

It was a comfortable kind of dynamic that unfolded between the four, and Beth found herself wishing she’d thought to invite Glenn and Maggie for the little couple’s get together, but she supposed it was good…for her and Daryl to just get to  _ be _ a couple. They weren’t anyone’s sibling, here at Aaron and Eric’s, no one’s hunting redneck with all the baggage and past identities that came along with those roles. 

Once the meat was cut into cubes by Daryl’s practiced knife strokes, the hosts began setting the table while Beth started cooking up the final piece of their meal. A loose shiver rippled down her spine when Daryl’s familiar fingertips traced a path over the line of her vertebrae before landing a warm palm on the small of her back. Pressing the heel in, he rubbed along the base there in short little motions until she turned her attention to him.

Ducking down, she was forewarned with a deep hum before he landed his mouth on hers, causing her to freeze in utter surprise…there were people _in the_ _room_ with them. Sure it sounded like they were completely engrossed in their conversation about the secret ingredient of Carol’s cookies…But it was so unlike Daryl to do anything affectionate where it could be seen and commented on. 

The fingers on her back curled themselves up in the shirt she was wearing, pulling the fabric tight over her stomach, as he continued to move his lips slowly over hers. Daryl kept the kiss sweet and innocent, pulling back much sooner than she would have liked, lips folding in and then showing themselves once more with a shining wet sheen, like he was savoring her taste there. 

“What the heck was that for?” She wondered aloud, though quietly, catching her own warmed bit of flesh between teeth that held it steady, in order to flick a tongue over the sensitive nerves, eyes trained on the man that was clocking her every move. “I’ll try an’ do it more often, ya tell me what it was.” The corners of her mouth ticked up encouragingly at him, all the while her gaze burrowed along half lidded eyes and thin lips that still flashed in the kitchen’s light.

“Feels nice,” he confessed in a secret telling volume, all the while looking shy and rosy, “bein’ with ya, ‘round people ain’t lookin’ t’ judge.”

“Our people-”

“Nah.” Daryl intercepted with a twitch of his head. “Not them. They jus’ like t’ rib me now an’ then. Meant the Safe-Zoners.”

“Wait, hold on a sec, I’m sorry…” Trying to clear the confusion from her thought process, Beth ran the spatula in her hand along the bottom of the pan to turn over sizzling chunks of meat before they burnt. “ _ Who _ in our family is teasin’ ya about us?”

He snorted lightly, leaning in to nuzzle along her neck before responding. “Ya mean other ‘en all of ‘em?” Shifting to the side, she forced their eyes to meet, trying to tell if he was messing with her or not. “I know, damn people ain’t scared a’ me at all anymore.” Beth let out a little surprised laugh that earned her one of his quick smiles. “S’awful. Ain’t they been doin’ the same t’ you?”

“Maggie…but no, not really.” He made another derisive noise while shaking his head, and Beth’s mind caught back up to what else he’d been saying. “An’ the only Alexandrian to say anythin’ was Spencer…”

His face blanked and Beth knew that’s who’d been on his mind when he brought up the topic, realized with all she’d been trying to do in order to take his mind off the confrontation, she hadn’t gotten around to asking him what’d been said outside the house today.

“Was runnin’ ‘is mouth.” Daryl shrugged at her silent question, but his eyes slid away from hers, and the hand on her back started making reassuring sweeps, ones that felt as though they were somehow more for his benefit than hers. Like he was reminding himself that she was there, that she didn’t mind him touching her like he was. “Sayin’ shit tha’ isn’ true.”

Beth was gonna throat punch that shit-eatin’-grin right off Spencer’s smug face next time she saw him. She and Daryl had been through too much, way,  _ way _ , too much. Working through the baggage and drama, the miscommunication, all of it…for that little prick to cause that uncertainty to bleed back into Daryl’s movements. 

She hated it.

“What’d he say?” She demanded in a hushed tone, still very aware of the men’s voices coming from behind her. Daryl was obviously just as cognizant of the pair, dark blues tripping their way before turning back to Beth and shaking his head in answer.

Nothing he felt comfortable saying here. 

Maybe saying at all.

Turning towards him fully, Beth went on tiptoe and melded her mouth to his, feeling the tightness of her chest where they met, the pull and scrape of the hair that lined his jaw where she ran her hands before fisting them in his hair. He felt hesitant, lips opening grudgingly when she ran a tongue tip against him for entry, hand lying unmoving on her back and the other refusing to leave his side to touch her. Beth knew it was the audience that hindered his reciprocation, and she only demanded a few probing, hard dragging, undulations, from his own trepid tongue before moving to his ear.

“I’mma do that trick for ya sometime.” She whispered, even as they heard the voices from their hosts continue in a companionable bickering, there was zero doubt in her head that he was in any way confused by her topic change when his fingers flexed into her back. “But I’m not tellin’ ya when.”

He was able to grunt some rolling kind of growl for an answer as she went back to being flat footed, releasing her handle on his sweat and heat softened locks. She’d just managed to get turned around and flipping the browning pieces of meat again when Eric’s voice sounded from the table.

“Awe.” Beth flashed a smile over her shoulder even as she felt Daryl pull his hand away, slowly, and saw how he glowered good naturedly in the speaking man’s direction. “The two of you make me believe in love again.”

“That’s-” Aaron began before stalling, and she didn’t try to stop the giggle that floated in carbonated bubbles up her throat. “Wait,  _ what _ ?’

“Oh.” Eric  _ tsked _ dismissively. “You know what I mean.”

As she added the savoring smelling portions to the vegetable soup, Beth allowed the sarcastic squabbling to enfold and fill her. Shifting her sight to Daryl, she felt serene, seeing him resting back against the counter, arms folded and a steady miniscule smirk on his face. 

She wasn’t about to seek out a confrontation with Deanna’s son over whatever he’d said to Daryl, though her man was going to be telling her what  _ had _ been said here soon. Beth wasn’t willing to take one more minute of Spencer’s shit though either, he might not know it yet, but he had officially run out of strikes with her.

Daryl huffed out something laugh-like next to her, and Beth did her best to expel her irritation as she turned around and knocked a hip into him, mirroring his position and winking at his considering look. Lord knew, there’d be plenty of time for fighting and anger before their time in this new world was over, but right now, she had a glowing bit of love and domesticity to enjoy.

So pregnancy scare aside. Entitled jerkoffs that ran their mouths aside.

Things were as good as she could ever have hoped them to be, and it did her no good to fixate on those things she  _ would _ change if it were possible. A warm hand lit once more on her back, and Beth sidled into Daryl’s side, the heat and steadiness of him was nearly intoxicating, there was no getting enough of him that much she knew.

It just wasn’t possible.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the support. :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Holy Moses it's only the first week and I'm already behind. So guess who double checked the show's timeline and found out there's a month break in between the big pull and Rick and Daryl's most excellent adventure? Yeah, so thoughts are welcome on having one or two laid back chapters, and then we'll be diving into Hill Top and The Saviors...good times.
> 
> Happy Reading.

**Chapter 27**

“Am I goin’ with ya today?”

Daryl’s eyes cracked open at her question, sight lash-veiled enough to only make out blonde hair and pale forehead before he gave up and closed them again. The muscles in his arms complained of soreness, but they could bitch all they wanted as far as he was concerned. He had Beth pillowed on one bicep, the hand of which was deadened completely, and the other was wrapped around her side, holding her to him. The last few days since their dinner at Aaron and Eric’s had been shitty and today was shaping up to be no kind of better far as he could see. 

Goddamn herd getting caught in that quarry, good lord could they not just go about their lives without these kinds of fuckin’ things popping up all over the place to mess with them? They had to do the test run today, see if everyone was ready to go for when the real deal went off. He’d been having to keep an extra close eye on Rick since Pete, and now that Carter bitch was looking to pick shit too. Daryl had been pretty sure the other day that Rick was going to put one in the back of the dude’s head. 

He and Beth were going to be on his bike, with Sasha and Abe in a car helping to lead the pack, it was a solid enough plan, they all just had to quit sniping at one another long enough to get it done. Something those fuckin’ Alexandrians didn’t seem willing to do. 

Her knuckles brushed along his chin, and his lids popped open fully at the sound of her hiss of discomfort.

“Y’alrigh’?” Moving his head back, Daryl picked up a weary arm to collect her hand in his, taking in the red abrasion across her porcelain skin, making it looked cracked.

“Forgot about it.” She explained, offering the hand towards his mouth, which he scoffed at but promptly kissed, feeling like a fucking idiot but willing to do it again if she wanted. 

Eyeing the angry looking skin he smirked a bit at it. “Ya didn’ have t’ haul off and clock the fucker,” he squeezed a finger slightly, “prick gave ya beard burn, tha’s  _ my _ job.”

_ Tsking _ quietly, still a little tired, Beth grumbled adorably before snuggling more into him. 

“I draw the line at him comparin’ you to a’ damn pedophile.” Her nose nuzzled his chest, tickling along the hair and bringing his lips in contact with her softer strands. “Ya should’a let me hit ‘im  _ again _ .”

“He took a’ step.” Daryl answered with a shrug, releasing her scathed digits to rub a callused hand over her bare back. “Wasn’ somethin’ I really thought out.”

“His eyes got  _ so _ big when ya slammed ‘im into that wall.” He could feel the puff of laughter that warmed his skin and made his already interested body perk up. “You think he’s ever been in any kinda fight?”

“Doubt it.” 

They’d apparently not reacted  _ strongly _ enough to show Spencer their fucking displeasure at his continued insistence to run his mouth about them being together. Guy had found something to pick at and obsess over that took his head off the deaths he couldn’t seem to cope with, and yesterday as they’d all been headed back into town after working on their walker barriers for the big pull, he’d spouted off some nasty shit about Daryl liking little girls, had cautioned Rick to watch the redneck around his daughter. 

It was definitely worse than what he’d said to Daryl the other day, before Beth had come over to get him to go hunting with her,  _ that _ time, it’d been how desperate the blonde must have been on the other side of the wall, how much it must have turned her stomach to let an old man touch her. He’d known it was bullshit, but the guy was so cocksure and said everything like it was a fact, it’d messed with him a bit. But as usual, Beth had reeled him back up from the pit inside his head, and he’d been able to shake it off.

Yesterday, he hadn’t even gotten the _chance_ to move towards the sneering asshole, before she was suddenly just _there_ and slamming her tiny fist into the side of the guy’s face. Daryl’s arm tightened, fingers pressing into the flesh along her spine, making her murmur, as he remembered the shock and anger on Spencer’s face. But then the mildly bleeding little shit had _really_ fucked up, taken an incredulous step forward, probably to ask her what the hell she’d been thinking – making there be an _actual_ _consequence_ to his actions? How fuckin’ awful.

Daryl had slid passed Beth, noting the way she was coiled up for another blow, but had also seen a certain shade of red at the thought of Spencer retaliating in  _ any _ kind of way. Yeah his girl could handle herself, no she didn’t need him stepping in for her, but there was no way in the nine circles of hell that he was  _ ever _ going to be able to just sit back and watch someone come at her without doing something about it. He just wasn’t wired that way, loved her to the point of distraction, of madness, or self-harm, all the good things too of course…but he wasn’t unbroken enough for the unhealthy parts of love not to sneak in as well.

So yeah, he’d hauled that motherfucker by the shirt into the nearest metal paneling that Spencer’s own deceased dad had put up, and crashed the shocked frame into it, had been trying to figure out if an elbow to the windpipe or a fist to the face would be more beneficial for the preppy little pussy when Rick had pulled him away. He’d then been informed lowly that they didn’t  _ have time _ for this kind of thing, to which he’d just as lowly pointed out, that they always seemed to  _ have time _ for it when it had to do with what  _ Rick _ thought was worth a little violence…

Couple of shitty days for damn certain.

Lucky him and Rick had the history they did, were able to work that misunderstanding out, with the constable allowing that if Daryl wanted beat the shit out of Spencer, he could,  _ after _ they got done doing the big pull. 

Fine. Fair enough.

Spencer hadn’t seemed real down with the idea, but in all honesty, Daryl was probably just going to let that shit go, because when he and Beth had gotten home last night…

“Did get me laid.” He murmured into her hair, hand sliding down her back to sink into one of those perfect cheeks of hers, loving the way she made little encouraging noises when he did. “Otta’ leave ‘im be, how fuckin’ good it was.”

“I don’t think Spencer should reap the benefits of  _ my _ hard work.” Beth groused, turning her head and scraping teeth over a bicep that flexed into her mouth. “But it would  _ probably _ be best if we all quit fightin’ with one another, long as he can keep his friggin’ mouth shut.” 

“The hell you talkin’ ‘bout  _ your _ hard work?” Daryl demanded, already shoving Spencer from his mind. “Girl, I don’ remember  _ me _ bein’ bent over this damn bed with you fuckin’ me fit t’ faint.” 

“Nice alliteration, Mr. Dixon.” He was about to inform her he didn’t know  _ what the fuck _ that was, when she wrapped a hand around his morning erection, and all the sass and fight promptly left with his next breath.

“Yer not even  _ tryin’ _ t’ be fair,” ignoring the accusation completely, she stroked him, making sleepy but interested noises deep in her throat, “Brier.”

“Next time,” She whispered, tilting her head to run a tongue under his jaw, “I wanna hear you say that while yer inside me alright?” Pressing and rubbing the head of his cock against her mound lazily, she moved her scraping teeth to going along his throat, making him inhale too loudly. “Just over an’ over again, right in my ear, will ya do that for me Daryl?”

“Do it for ya right now.” She squeezed him tightly and he let out another breath that sounded more like a gasp than an exhale. 

_Damn_ _woman_. 

“Am I goin’ with ya today?” His head tried to rewind what they’d been talking about before Spencer, and before she’d started slipping his cock around her lips and clit.

“If ya wanna, ‘course.” She’d already gone with him to map out the route, but if she wanted to go for another ride with him on his bike, Daryl certainly wasn’t going to try and keep her from coming. His girl felt great, all snuggled against his back like a second skin, fingers playing along his stomach, making him both hard and wanting to laugh from the tickling sensation. 

Sighing contentedly, she stopped her tortuous movements, causing him to grunt and work his hips forward in needy little probes that slid along her slit and the slickened folds underneath.

“Better not.” Sounding sullen, she snaked her other hand down to cradle his balls and Daryl was honestly not going to be able to take in much of anything she was telling him while she was rolling him around her palm like that. “Maggie wanted me to help her with Deanna, runners found some seeds at a nursery day before last, she thought it’d be a good idea to get her focused on somethin’ livin’ an’ growin’ ya know?”

Sure, yes whatever she said.

His free hand, the one that wasn’t gripped into her ass, curled up painfully to catch onto her ponytail and crank her head back carefully, until he could get a taste of her. Didn’t give a fuck about morning breath, wanted every variation of her he could get, kissed her hard as her hands still worked and teased him along her heated center. 

But then she was dropping him, and moving back from his mouth and his dully aching dick. Frowning at her in confusion, Daryl waited for an explanation, wasn’t about to whine or growl at her if she’d decided she didn’t want to anymore…but fuck, he was hard and ready to ease inside of her if she’d allow him the smallest chance.

“We gotta get goin’.” She began, moving off the bed, eyes trailing over him, covers moved back so she caught the full show, and he was surprised to realize he wasn’t anywhere near blushing to have her look at him like she was. “An’ I want ya thinkin’ ‘bout me while yer gone, make sure you do what ya can to make it back to me.”

“I’da been thinkin’ ‘bout ya  _ anyway _ .” He half-scoffed without hesitation, rising and making his own way to standing with a bit more cracking and groaning than she had. “Jus’ a practice run girl, ain’t gotta be worried ‘bout me bein’ gone this time, an’ yer comin’ when we do the real thing.”

“I’m always gonna worry when you’re gone Daryl Dixon, so just let that idea go right now, and we both know how easy stuff changes when you’re dealin’ with walkers, so you just remember what’s waitin’ for you at home alright?” She stood looking at him from the other side of the bed, hands on rounded hips, hair all flyaway bits and snaggled strands. Morning rays seeping in, highlighting the rosy tips of her breasts and running beams along thighs and flat tummy. 

He wanted her with a kind of skin tingling need that should have been uncomfortable, but was too constant and familiar to freak him out. Walking around the bed, he gathered her up, kissed her quick and did his absolute best to ignore the nice heat her belly pressed against his arousal caused.

“Don’ gotta give me blue balls for that shit t’ happen,” lips tilting in a smile that almost showed teeth he kissed her once more, “already told ya, be thinkin’ ‘bout ya anyway. Wanna make me wait tha’s fine, but it means  _ I _ gett’a pick what we do, time I get back tonight.”

She was smiling sweetly up at him, from what he could tell, pleased as hell that he was grinning at her like a slack jawed yokel. “What’re you wantin’ ta’ do?”

“Ain’t tellin’.” Daryl replied, trying his best not to feel corny for teasing her like he was. “Not gonna be the only one goin’ ‘round t’day bein’ hot n’ bothered.”

“Could  _ make _ ya tell me.” Beth whispered against his lips, trailing a fingertip up his length, smile just as playful as his own.

“Could try.”

_ Please try. _

Shaking her head, she stepped out of his hold, throwing a look at him over her shoulder before closing the bathroom door behind her.

_ Damn _ .

The rest of the day and the next, it occurred to him that that's what he got for teasing, should have known there was a reason he'd stayed away from it for as long as he had. Alright, so maybe the herd breaking loose, the Safe-Zone getting attacked, him getting held up and ditched by that blonde bastard and his woman, and then that crazy shit with the bikers and the bazooka - maybe he couldn't peg  _ all _ of that on teasing Beth alone...but he hadn't fully realized just  _ how _ shitty the rest of his week could get.

By the time he, Sasha, and Abe could make it back home from all that insanity Daryl thought he was past worry and fear, there was only what he could do to clear the nightmare they’d come back to.

Pulling into Alexandria, there were walkers every- _ damn _ -where and the same thought that had been slamming his brain into oblivion since they'd heard that never-ending truck horn sound from the town, echoed now like the last beat of his heart as he tried not to go into another full-blown panic.

Where  _ the fuck _ was his girl?

He'd snapped, back when they were first pulling the huge mob of biters from the pit, and they'd realized something was going terribly wrong back at home. Beth was there, had stayed with her sister, and when the first semi had toppled into the gorge and they'd had to start executing the plan during their  _ practice _ run, he'd been a little relieved that she was safe behind the wall. But then it got  _ real _ clear  _ real _ fuckin' quick that the monster herd from hell was actually the least of their goddamn problems, and all their family were in danger while most of the best fighters were doing the pull.

So, he'd broke rank like a motherfucker, and yelling a quick - "I have faith in ya!" to Abe and Sasha, had taken off towards Alexandria and his girl. But then of course, Rick had to get on the radio, say some shit that reminded Daryl and everyone else why in the hell he was still considered the leader of their group. And Daryl had gotten real religious all of a sudden, sent up a word or two to Jesus, told him to watch over Beth until Daryl could get back to doing it himself. He’d turned around to finish the job, and then, if possible, shit had gone even  _ more _ downhill from there.

Instead of being able to make it home that afternoon, he'd gotten kidnapped like some milk carton reject by that group of poor idiots that'd managed to make off with his bow and bike in the end, but he'd meant what he told them. They  _ were _ gonna be sorry. Didn't even seem like Daryl was going to have to be the one to make sure that happened neither. Situation they were headed back to sounded much worse than anything he was willing to do. 

They should have come with him.

But of course they hadn't, he didn't blame them all that much, the trusting bit anyway. He knew plenty well what he looked like, saw the tough mean-old looking bastard looking back at him every time he stepped from the shower. That's why having Aaron with him while looking for people had been so important, that dude  _ looked _ trustworthy.

He guessed the reason it ran splitting rips though him, was that all the time he'd spent with Beth, it'd made him think maybe people were starting to be able to see more in him, than just his daddy's mean set eyes and thin cutting mouth...might notice more of his mama's blues and earnest chin...fuckin' stupid. Couldn't expect anyone to trust him, just like he couldn't trust anyone.

No one except his family.

No one except Beth.

Speaking of which...he needed to get these walkers cleared so that he could find her. Girl better have herself tucked away safe with Lil' Asskicker in one of these mansions with the sturdy doors and surplus of blunt items. He'd  _ better  _ find her in their room, he better...

_ Lost enough people, please, let her be alright. _

Let their family scrape through this one.

Unloading the fuel from the tanker into the duck pond, he set the fucker ablaze, watched as walker after walker, trudged and dragged their way into the fire. Searching every dead hued face, trying to prepare himself each time, that he'd know the next one to stumble into the flames, that it'd be her. Might be too soon, might have to canvas the whole fuckin' zone before he found...

There was a yell to move forward from near one of the far walls, and Daryl didn't hesitate, leapt from the top of the fuel truck and began hacking a grunting and lunging path towards the voice he'd heard, knew that damn yell like his own. Rick was over that way, and with this many dead pressing in, could use the extra set of hands he was sure. His brother might shorten his search, might already know where Beth was, or know what happened to her.

And the baby.

With a growl he stabbed down hard through the next biter's socket, collapsing half the skull with his blow. Woman said she didn't think she was pregnant, and she'd know better than he would, except he couldn't get the memory and sensation of emptying out into her. It was tactile as fuck in his head. Sure as shit had never done that before, for obvious reasons, never been with anyone ever distracted him bad enough to  _ ever _ forget using a rubber. And fuck, that was the  _ second _ time with Beth he had - but she wasn't pregnant - and he  _ needed _ to stop thinking of her as gone already.

Just because it looked bad, just because he was feeling guilty over refusing to do hand-to-hand with her until they'd known for sure or not if she  _ was _ expecting, didn't mean she couldn't take care of herself. His movements sped up, desperation belying his internal lecturing that she was fine, sprinting passed what walkers he could, chasing the area of the paneling he'd heard Rick's shout come from.

When he got nearer, his mind shut down a bit, he didn't see blonde, and getting the rest of the group clear was what he needed to be focusing on. Fighting his way through, he saw a few familiar faces, and that was going to have to do until he could get them fought clear of the remaining dead that hadn't noticed the inferno that was now the duck pond. He nodded at Aaron, feeling his own flash of relief when the man looked at him like he'd seen a ghost.

Making his way eventually to his friend, Eric and the others on their side of the group flanked them as Daryl gripped Aaron by the shoulder, shaking some of the spooked look from his eyes.

"Man, y'alrigh'?" He did his best not to holler in order to be heard, not wanting to gain any more attention than the striking group already had.

Receiving a nod, Daryl jerked his own head in response before Aaron was blurting out his next words like he’d been holding them tight while they struggled. "She's safe!" Daryl stumbled a bit, and if anyone saw it, hopefully they'd think he'd been jostled too hard by those fighting around him. But he wouldn't have lied if asked, hearing Beth was alive, it'd almost knocked the knees right out from under him.

His grip on Aaron's shoulder tightened until it was probably painful, but the other man never flinched, simply nodded once more to Daryl who returned the gesture in shaking bobs before working his way over to Rick, who was cleaving walkers apart with the energy of something unholy. Not saying a word, he concentrated with a kind of surgical precision to eliminate all the lurching bodies from his sight.

When they cleared the area around them, Rick gave another command to move forward, and Daryl kept in close to his brother's side, downing any stray walker that got too close. During one such execution, after the lifeless body fell at his feet, he scanned over, only to meet a wide set of eyes that caught his attention. With danger still within sight, Rick was only able to chin dip his greeting which Daryl returned before they continued on.

He followed Rick’s steady track of heading to, he realized, the infirmary and there they fought until there were only stragglers of biters that were headed single mindedly towards the flames and paid the stationary humans no mind.

“Beth’s with Carl.” Daryl’s head whipped to the side at the other man’s croaking tone. “He got shot.”

“He alive?”

“For now.”

He couldn’t think of anything to do but nod, meeting Rick’s eyes that seemed as though they were coming back from whatever place he went to when things became too much and the switch flipped that helped him to survive. Where Daryl shut down and walled himself off inside his head, the lawman appeared to do the opposite, became a live wire that’d electrocute and execute anything and just about anyone that threatened him or those he loved. That spark was gazing at Daryl now, blue too hot to be human blinking at him repeatedly, like Rick was trying to come down off a bad hit of something Merle would have fancied.

“You did it again.” Hands came up to lay on his neck, and Daryl held still, some relief bleeding into his anxiety as Rick’s forehead touched his momentarily before the contact was being withdrawn until only one blood and gore covered hand rested on his shoulder.

“What?” Mind still jumbled, he was torn between making sure Rick was going to be stable enough to leave, what with his kid obviously being pretty severely injured, and rushing through that door that was only a handful of feet from him to lay eyes on a different pair of blues.

“Saved us again.” Rick’s grip tightened momentarily to reinforce the statement before he dropped the hold altogether. “Made it back just in time.”

“Been better I’da got here sooner.” The uneasy feeling he got from his brother’s gratitude made it clear that while he’d made steps to feeling better about connections and relationships of all different kinds, feeling appreciated and wanted was still something that tightened at the scars on his back and made him shift uncomfortably.

“Got here in time.” Rick corrected quickly, eyes settling into something mortal once more.

“You alright?” Michonne asked, her own sight missing little, scanning him and the walkers that plodded off to get burnt to ash.

He nodded his head, only to hiss when pain flared across his back. “You are  _ not _ fine, you’re bleeding.” Carol muttered disapprovingly, before giving him a slight smile and the hand that had prodded his gash went to pat in a non-wounded section of shoulder. “I’m glad you made it back alright, now c’mon, we’ll get you patched up and I know she’s-”

“Can we move this pow-wow indoors please?” Glenn’s voice brought everyone up short, him and Maggie trudging in from a different direction than the group had come from.

Anyone not injured elected to stay and be on guard, while the rest shuffled in, Daryl’s heart was ricocheting around the cage looking for an exit, as he stepped through the door. A woman he didn’t quite recognize immediately started talking to Rick about Carl, and people began breaking a part to rest against walls or a few open beds. His back and arm stung with all the dirt and sweat making its way into the cuts, but movement and sudden stillness near the far hallway caught his attention and every bit of weariness or pain fled his body like pheasants before hounds, and he took an unlabored breath for the first time in over a day.

“ _ Brier _ .”

The word left his mouth as a breath when he saw her frozen in place on the other side of the room, she was covered in blood and other bits he could guess at, all except her hands and forearms that were ruddy pink, looking like they’d been scrubbed to within an inch of their lives. He moved around what people and objects that littered the path between them, before stopping in front of her and just staring. There was never a way to know how someone was going to react to violence once they’d been a victim of it in the past, but her gaze quickly dissuaded him of any possibility of her falling back into the detached loose cannon that she’d been right before they’d reached Alexandria.

She looked determined – and pissed.

“Where in  _ the hell _ have you been?”

She was mad at him? Fine, he didn’t give a fuck, shit, he kinda hoped she’d hit him or something if she wasn’t willing to kiss him. Anything to prove his vision wasn’t just being hopeful as fuck, and it’d have to be her to initiate the contact, because he was too goddamn scared to find out if that was the case or not.

“Got taken.” He responded, eyes flicking over every bit of her he could, quiet voices barely registering behind him as Beth’s expression flashed serious levels of incredulous anger.

“Who? The Wolves?”

Shaking his head, Daryl sidled a step closer, sight sweeping across pinched brows and slightly parted lips that flashed teeth and held his attention. “Nah, jus’ some people runnin’ from some worse people sounded like.”

Large eyes blinking at him, somewhat like Rick’s, looking dazed and honed all at once, she began her own roving check of what she could see of him. “You alright?”

“You mad?” He deflected, not wanting her to fuss over his back and arm, not yet.

Raising shaking hands, his lungs quit when she pressed them against his chest, lids sliding shut as she moved into him and laid her head down, frame jerking in hitching draws against his wide palms that landed unsurely on her back. She was here, alive and whole from what he could see, had made it through whatever attack happened here and was still all fire and fight, even as she stood trembling inside his arms.

“Scared me to death.” The whisper was so low he had to bend his neck to be able to catch it when she continued. “An’ then Glenn didn’t come back either-”

“He’s alrigh’, came in with Maggie when we did.”

Daryl felt her nod, as thin arms circled his waist and tightened with everything they had.

“Ain’t leavin’ ya in here again.” He tried, when she’d stayed silent a worrying amount of time, which for him right now was any amount at all. “Don’ care what else s’goin’ on, I gotta walk through that gate, yer comin’ with me.”

“Doubt we’ll be goin’ huntin’ anytime soon.”  

“ _ Tchuh _ .” The sound spit out his mouth before he could hold it back, remembering something that all the crazy had made slip from his mind. “Ya ain’t wrong, them bastards took m’bow,  _ an’ _ my goddamn bike.”

She pulled enough away to look up at him, and the level of outrage on her face made his sternum ache. “We find ‘em I’ll hold ‘em down while you whoop their asses.”

“One of ‘em was a woman.” He informed her, some of the weight sliding off him at her rolling eyes.

“Fine, sounds like it’ll be a’ fair fight when we come across ‘em.”

“Ain’t no fair fight, girl.” Murmuring the next statement against her lips, he kissed her for the first time in too damn long. “Could tell she didn’ know the first thing about fightin’, prob’ly can’ even punch without breakin’ ‘er damn hand.”

“Well good.” Sliding trembling fingers up his chest, she set about digging them into his hair. “Then I’ll kick  _ his _ ass an’ you can watch.”

Daryl managed some rumbling noises before she kissed him again, drawing  a sigh from somewhere deep in his torn up body when she drew back once more, lips a little pinker than before. Tipping his chin in, he let the reality of her being alright wash over him again, trying to ground and cement the knowledge into place so his mind could stop billowing up somewhere in the fuckin’ stratosphere. A thumb glided along one of his eyebrows, making him blink and focus on her once more instead of his pin wheeling thoughts.

The awareness too of so many witnesses at his back was starting to creep in, along with the fact that it had grown distinctly quiet, but he’d had something else running through his head while he fought his way home and then again when he was downing the last walkers that clawed and gaped their way between them. He couldn’t keep this shit in anymore, it’d been in his chest too long, had crept through his eyes to her once or twice, but somehow had always managed to bypass his lips. Ducking down, so that he could nuzzle against some of his favorite cartilage in the world, he said as quietly as it took not to be overheard.

“Love you, Brier.”

Even after taking all that time to prepare, after knowing it as surely as he knew anything in the world, it still put a tax on that stupid beating thing he had dead center, still freaked him the fuck out that she might –

“I love you too Daryl.” 

His arms engulfed her, strapping her to him, reinforcing the fact of her being real and tangible. Of her loving him out loud, like she’d only been waiting for him to ball up and say it first, which she probably had. Not that he could blame her, emotions were still very much her territory, but he couldn’t help but feel a little of that male pride thing…That he’d managed to pull it off without passing out in front of the whole damn group before getting the words out.

Beth went to hug him back, only to run a hand over the gash that ran down his shoulder, the resulting wince and curse got him a sound lecturing while the new doctor went about quietly patching him up, trying and failing the whole damn time to hide the barest of smiles as the tiny blonde lit into him about infections and priorities.

The second of which he felt sure he’d still had the right idea on, but kept quiet so she could fuss over him. Doing his best to look put out and grumpy while she did, keeping a hold of her hand and rubbing reassuring little arcs there until she wound down into telling him how Carl was holding up, and that Lil’ Asskicker was safe. Rick had disappeared a long while back, and Daryl was sure the man would be found at his son’s bedside, white knuckling his way through the kid’s second gunshot wound.

The night had fully passed, and light was edging through the windows by the time he was finished being sewn up and bandaged, took a bit for him to realize he didn’t even care that the doctor had seen his back, and that probably  _ everyone _ walking in and out of the house had too. Just didn’t really seem to matter, not with Beth holding tight to his hand, not with their family having actually made it through another battle, there were casualties he knew, people to bury and dead to burn over the next couple of days…

But he’d made it home, and she’d made it through the attack, and for right now, he wasn’t willing to ask for much more than that. Maybe things would be quiet for a bit, a few days, a week, maybe even a month…and he’d take any quiet time with Beth he could, but he wasn’t going to hold his breath, and wasn’t going to shy away from spending what time of that peace he could, being with her. She kept squeezing his hand every now and then while she talked, filling him in on what had happened while he was gone, and with every new detail his mind became more and more set on his decision.

He sure hoped she’d told the truth a little while back, and that she really didn’t mind him shadowing her, because for the next clip of time he was sure as shit willing to try his hand at farming or whatever else she was going to be into. Had never been real fond of coincidence and it sure seemed strange how every time he wound up leaving her here, something bad would happen, but it was a problem easily remedied. Just give him a fuckin’ shovel or hoe – whichever in the hell – wasn’t like he could go huntin’ anyway.

Nope.

Daryl was gonna learn how to grow shit, or whatever… 

Because if Rick could fuckin’ do it, so could he.

Probably.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya liked it, we'll get a bit of a rest while Daryl tries farming, and people heal up from the wolves attack, the next chapter will probably focus a lot on Beth thinking about certain things that happened during the attack while she's getting to spend time with Daryl. 
> 
> It is crazy how much less time I have already, so I'm not promising anything for next week but fingers crossed I can get something done :) Feedback is appreciated if you have the time and inclination :D


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - This took SO much longer to get out then I had originally planned. I think we might have more farmer Daryl next chapter, because...well you'll see. We are going to have one or two more chill chapters, and since I wasn't really planning on them being here it might take me a minute to work out what's going to happen during them.
> 
> Are we sick of the physical scenes yet? Is that awkward to ask? Well, I must be blunt because of the time crunch :) Let me know peeps. I miss you all and hope everything is going well. I had to write a ten page story for one of my classes, and let me tell you, when all you can think about is Bethyl - trying to get other stories out is like pulling teeth.
> 
> Woah that got long...
> 
> Happy Reading!

**Chapter 28**

 

Beth exhaled until her lungs hurt, the burn rivaling the one that cloaked her skin. Pulling back to rest on her ankles, she looked at the newly tilled ground with its protective ring of salvaged railway ties. The whole thing was coming together slowly but surely and it felt good, to build something after all the ugliness that had happened recently. A lot of her original group had chosen to help out with the work, and even though no one said it, Beth got the very solid notion that everyone wanted to spend time with one another after the scare. 

Made it a little less odd, she figured, to see Daryl among the volunteers. He was at the moment leaning with his crossed forearms on a shovel’s handle, eyes in their usual near-closed squint as he cast them around the garden while listening to whatever Rick was saying next to him. Even with the coolness of the weather, he was wearing another of his sleeveless shirts, leather vest firmly in place. Using the back of her arm, Beth wiped a trail of sweat away before it could trickle into her eye, watching the way Daryl’s mouth ticked back at a corner – clearly disagreeing with something the other man had told him. 

She wondered though, if it was  _ clear _ to everyone around them, if they’d know from just that one slight motion what he was thinking. Rick might, or Carol, perhaps a lot of their family group, she didn’t know. What  _ was _ certain, was just how happy it made her that  _ she _ knew. That most of his little mannerisms told what he was thinking even without him coming out and saying anything, or  _ showing _ much of anything. Ribs cork screwing around her heart, Beth let out another breath, it was hard to hold onto sometimes…how much she loved him. Hard to conceive of or put into words that sweet aching pull that tugged all the way through her from soul to spine when she saw him in calm moments like these. Even better was first thing in the morning when he looked puffy and ruffled, and far too endearing  _ not _ to love. 

Or when they were together, when he was moving inside her, and their eyes would meet for startling raw moments. His gaze dark and fathoms deep, she’d noticed the progression he’d taken. At first not seeming  _ able _ to look at her at all, and then there’d been a determined uncertainty. Like he was scared she’d push him off of her for looking her in the eye. But after he’d made it back from the big pull of walkers and found her in the infirmary, after he’d told her he loved her, the next time they’d had together…

Her whole body flushed and pulsed, ran tingling from hairline to kneecaps and she tucked some of her bottom lip between her teeth. God save her, she’d felt him tumble right through her pupils, had blinked too wet eyes as he thrusted and clasped one of her hands in his, squeezing the digits with each inward press. She knew this scared him too though, could tell in the light trembling of strong arms when he held onto her afterward, how intertwined they were becoming – just how bad the hurt was going to be when the inevitable happened and they stopped getting lucky.

But for now, they agreed wordlessly to dive into the time they had, to not talk about what  _ could _ happen or how devastating it’d be  _ when _ it did. For her part, Beth was cherishing every second she got, like the ones right now where they were working at something positive with the ones they loved. These were the moments she wanted him to hold onto later, because there wasn’t a bit of her that thought Daryl would be the first of the two of them to go. Even though she was careful never to bring it up again, she still knew he’d be the last man standing.

Blue eyes flashed to hers, and she felt little pangs of pleasure when the tilting narrow cut of his expression changed minutely to an equally contented one at the sight of her. It’d probably be for the best if she looked away, let him get back to giving Rick his undivided attention. No doubt whatever was being discussed was important, and lord knew after what had happened to Jessie and her family…well…Daryl’s brother needed as much time with him as Beth did. But she couldn’t help but smile a little, he always did manage to look so dang good covered in about three layers of dirt.

Lips curving in response to her easy grin, he nodded, before those quick eyes clipped to her side and the look became something other than loving.

“Miss Greene?”

Turning in surprise, Beth offered Eugene a slightly more hesitant twisting of her mouth. Her gaze flashed over to Daryl, who wasn’t even pretending to listen to Rick anymore. That once relaxed posture decidedly gone. He had one hand fisted and lying against his hip and the other around the shovel’s handle. Shaking her head minutely, she did her best to ignore the now scowling redneck as the fearful looking scientist continued.

“I was wondering if you were planning to dedicate some section of this garden to sorghum?” It was easy enough to guess that Daryl was still glowering in their direction, considering Eugene appeared to be moments away from losing his nerve to speak to her altogether.

“I didn’t know if we’d be able to find any.” Sight flicking repeatedly over her shoulder, the man dipped his head in a jerking kind of answer, while maintaining an almost laughable amount of distance between them.

“I’ve been goin’ over different logistics, and it appears there is a warehouse not far from our present location.” Swallowing thickly, he hunched in on himself, before muttering the rest to her as he became very interested with the railway tie at his feet. “I’d bring it up to the next group of runners, but rumor has it, the two in question are Rick and your paramour.” 

Beth couldn’t stop the grin that happened at the thought of what kind of sound Daryl would make at being christened with  _ that _ particular label. The hunter had managed to not be overtly hostile towards the more cowardly Eugene. But there was still a whole lot of tension there. And she could make an educated guess that it might have something to do with the fact that she and Daryl had started to  _ actually _ sleep together. Now her man knew  _ exactly _ what the voyeur had been trying to get a peek at, and he liked the idea even less now than he had before, if that were possible.

“Well, that’s not for a couple weeks yet Eugene, but I’m sure if you gave Daryl a map with the warehouse marked, they’d be more than happy to check it out.” The already pallid face went another shade paler at her suggestion. “He’s not gonna hurt ya.”

“Who’s not going to?” Carol questioned, wiping at her face with a rag as she came over.

“Eugene’s worried about askin’ Daryl an’ Rick to check out a sorghum supply on their next run.”

“I’m simply not wishin’ to exacerbate any harbored negative associations he has with my person.” The women exchanged a quick smile before Carol replied, still with a bit of a smirk.

“Well Eugene, as long as Daryl doesn’t catch you like he did before…”

“I have no inclination of repeating that particular interaction.” The scientist answered with a hard shake of his head.

“Then you should be just fine to bring it up to him yourself.” Beth kept her face as neutral as she could while the man looked back and forth between the two of them, until giving up, trudged away after giving them a nod. “Poor guy, seems your beau really put the fear of God into him.”

“He  _ has _ been known to be rather fierce now an’ again.” Casting a quick glance the redneck’s way, she watched him mutter something to Rick who smiled easily in return before clapping him on the shoulder as he replied. “Aren’t I the lucky one? Ta’ have such a’ keen eyed guardian?”

Giving her a knowing look, Carol shrugged. “Seemed to me you could look out for yourself easily enough.”

The levity evaporated from Beth’s chest as memories of the raid came back into sharp relief. It was true, she had handled herself well enough, her and Carol had managed to ambush a couple of the Wolves early into the attack. It was lucky. The way she figured it anyway, that she’d been at the other woman’s house discussing ways to make the food stock stretch. They’d looked out of Carol’s window in time to see Shelly Niedermeyer be killed. Mostly she’d followed orders, the plan was solid and relied on their ability to stay discreet and keep their wits.

How strange, that the middle aged mother who was an abuse survivor, and the once church going farmer’s daughter, had developed themselves into such efficient killers. But if Beth were being honest, she’d felt next to nothing when her knife had sunk into the skinny male body. The only thoughts going through her head, as she’d divested him of his clothing, was that they had to keep the attackers away from her house. Judy was being watched there by Carl. After donning their disguises, the two had stalked the streets of Alexandria, taking out Wolves where they could, but mostly focusing on gaining entry and securing the armory.

It’d been a long bloody day, and then after that, the bell tower falling and crushing the fence…

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t succumbed to a bit of that numbing cold from Grady. But either because of the time passing between then and now or all of her training, it hadn’t overwhelmed and taken over her. She hadn’t lost it when she watched Sam and Jessie be ripped apart, or when Ron shot Carl…Heck, she’d been right behind Rick when he’d gone pelting off into the mob of walkers in a rage, but then Michonne had pulled her back, asked her to stay and watch over the unconscious teenager. And what else could she do at that point? She’d been tasked to look after Rick’s kids almost every day since their mother had passed. Besides, of everyone at the infirmary other than the new doctor, Denise, Beth was the most capable of helping after spending so much time doing the same for her dad.

All the while, it nagged and clawed at the back of her mind, that Daryl hadn’t come back yet. That he should have been home and wasn’t, neither was Glenn, and if her and Maggie did happen to be pregnant…how devastating would that be? 

She almost hadn’t believed it, when she saw him standing in the room that night. Filthy and haggard, white of his eyes showing from beneath black plastered streaks of hair as he gazed at her like he was seeing spirits. Never in all her life had she experienced the wave of tumultuous emotions like she did at the sight of him. Happiness, relief, and love, mobbed with fear and anger that he’d been away for longer than he’d meant to. Which, she knew he’d never do willingly, it had made her so worried that she’d never see him again…just like when he’d left with Aaron.

But he was back. They were both fine. Carl was healing and they were all working on this garden together in order to shore up some peace before the next flood of violence and insanity rained down on them. Like it always did. Offering a mild smile to Carol, she nodded, before scanning the project around them. It really was coming together, almost done in fact, the only main problem being that they’d have to wait a long time for any noticeable returns for their hard work. At the very least, she was getting time with the ones she loved. 

Getting to watch Daryl curse and fume about gardening and farming in general, was well worth the sweat that at the moment was swamping her body.

It hadn’t really surprised her much, that he’d been bored out of his mind almost as soon as they’d begun. It was pretty sweet though, hearing him mutter obscenities under his breath, only to get a blink-and-miss-it grin when she’d look up to check on him. And each night, the answer to her question, about if he were sure he wanted to give it another go the next day, was a slow kiss that left her swirly headed and smiling. The man certainly was coming into his own when it came to their time together, and it made her deliriously happy, that he was willing to put in hours with her that didn’t just involve them being devoid of clothing or restraint.

Taking a deep breath, she watched as Maggie, Glenn, and Michonne, all helped Judy poke seeds into the tilled earth, moving slowly but laughingly down the row. Carol had left her to go talk to Daryl and Rick, so Beth decided she might as well get going on planting her own set of nursery seeds down at the opposite end of the row that the others were working on. They seemed more focused on cheering on Judith than getting things done in any kind of timely manner. Not that she blamed them, but she’d been out here longer than any of them other than Daryl, and was about sick to death of sweating out her body weight.

As she went, Beth considered Eugene’s idea about the sorghum. She didn’t have a lot of familiarity with the grain herself, but if memory served, her daddy had considered planting it several times but the demand hadn’t been high enough to be worth the labor. Anything that could help the residents put much needed weight on was worth the trouble nowadays though. And she might just have to talk to the boys about it before they headed out in case the scientist never got around to building up enough courage.

A water bottle plopped down next to her leg, and squinting up, she smiled as Maggie grinned down at her in reply. The two groups had merged while she’d been crouched over her bit of earth and thinking. She got all light and tingly from seeing all of them together, teeth flashing in the afternoon sun as they helped along the little farmer in training. Judith walked with assistance from Glenn over to Daryl, who held her hand and spoke lowly as she ‘helped’ him with his planting.

“This was a good idea Bethy.” Her sister murmured, eyes cast the same direction as Beth’s. “I’m glad ya mentioned it.” 

“Just felt like we should spend some time together, didn’t involve killin’ or runnin’.”

Maggie nodded, hand drifting over to lay dusty fingers on dustier blonde locks. “Feels good doesn’t it? Like we’re closer to daddy out here, like we all are, the lot of us.” 

Beth had to admit that it was the most at home she’d felt since the group had arrived at the Safe-Zone’s gate. Even though they’d lost so many, including Deanna, it was reassuring that her family unit had survived. As bad as that sounded. Carl was wounded, could have died, but someone had definitely been looking out for all of them recently. Like with her surviving Grady, and it was nice to think that her daddy had something to do with it.

“How’re you farin’? ‘Bout ready ta’ call it a’ day?” The hand moved from her hair to her shoulder and Maggie grimaced mildly at the slick that came away on her hand. “Little sister you are  _ drenched _ in sweat.”

Looking down at herself, she was a disgusted to find her clothes matted to her body, dark with perspiration and clinging, it hadn’t fully occurred to her just  _ how _ badly things had gotten. 

“Ugh.” Groaning, she climbed to her feet, swiping at her sternum experimentally. Beth made another face when her hand dripped from the quick contact. “I’m  _ wet _ .” Good- _ ness _ , but she hadn’t meant to become quite so grungy and soaked, it’d just been so nice being around everyone while they…there was a choked gagging noise from down the row, and she and Maggie turned their attention to where Daryl was coughing out his recent guzzle of water while Glenn smacked him unhelpfully on the back. Too distracted with her own liquid issue, she waved the shimmering hand at her sister for emphasis. “ _ So _ gross.”

“Beth, I think ya just damn near killed your man,” a folded lip smile was aimed her way as Beth tried to figure out how she’d exactly managed  _ anything _ like that, “you best go check an’ make sure he’s breathin’.” A green-eyed wink made her flush as the words finally registered and the group’s expressions began to make sense. “That there’s no need for mouth-ta’-mouth or anythin’.”

“Jesus, Mary, an’ Joseph.” Beth grumbled as she went sidling passed her sister. “Are y’all  _ ever _ gonna stop with all that nonsense?”

“Oh definitely.” Maggie chirped, following along behind her. “Just around the time the two a’ you stop bein’ so much fun ta’ tease about it.” The answering sigh no doubt only made the brunette smile more. Beth could already hear it easily enough in her voice. “The first time neither of you blushes nine shades a’ red, well, it’ll just stop bein’ fun when that happens.”

“Somethin’ to look forward to,” she quipped, meeting a hot blue gaze that jumped with each resounding gargled bark while he attempted to get all the water out of his lungs, “how nice.” Coming to a stop in front of Daryl, she stubbornly refused to look at the many smirking faces around her while she asked him. “You alright?”

He managed a nod before another coughing fit hit him, and was able to halfheartedly push away a Judith carrying Rick, who attempted to add his own patting smacks on top of Glenn’s. 

“I’m gonna head home, you ready-” there were a few catcalls that she waved a dismissive hand at, feeling her mouth tremble with a smile, “you  _ ready _ to get the hell away from these people?”

A myriad of disapproving sounds assaulted them as he dipped his head in answer.

“Be easy on him now Beth.” Rick lectured, appearing to enjoy the cheerfulness that was probably a welcome reprieve from his almost constant guilt and grief that had been bogging him down since the attack. “We aren’t as young as we used to be, an’ you managed to half-drown him as it is.”

“Shuddup.” Daryl croaked, which in no way went towards abating the jokes and innuendos that were lobbed their way as the two escaped the confines of the garden. “Fuckin’ idiots.” There was absolutely no heat to the hoarse words, and Beth fixed him with a wry look as they made their way towards home.

“ _ Well _ .” His eyes snapped to hers and he growled something that still managed to sound water logged as he glared at her.

“Well  _ what _ ?” The regular bite to his words sounded pained, and she rubbed along his winged back, feeling both amusement and pity. “Wasn’ expectin’ ya t’say that shit, in front a’ that whole  _ goddamn _ bunch.”

Pressing her lips together, Beth nodded as supportively as she was able to, while holding in her chest-aching laughter at his grumpy expression. Daryl’s quick eyes tracked her face, the corners of his own mouth twitching before he scoffed and snatched up her hand. It didn’t completely escape her notice that there was no one around and that if there had been, he more than likely would have avoided the easily viewed contact. But it was nice all the same and she wasn’t about to point her theory out to him, not when she was too busy feeling a little puffed up that she’d had such an effect on him back at the garden. 

Made her feel kind of sexy.

Cheeks prickling immediately, she dipped her chin to hide her rolling eyes. She’d been sleeping with Daryl for a little while now but still any kind of thought about what they did, she still had this reaction. Wanting to sigh but holding it in, Beth squeezed the roughened hand in hers, knocked into him a bit when he returned the gesture. 

_ Oh well. Not like it’s the worst thing in the world. _

Late that night Beth came awake with each dragging inhale. Sheet below and blanket on top, barely insulating the thinly toned lines of her body. Stomach pushing into the mattress, putting a satisfying pressure on her abdomen and spine, Beth wiggled fingers and toes in a deliberate ticking tap. None of her lightly chilled appendages felt tingle swamped or deadened by a lack of blood flow. There were no loud noises or even furtive ones. Scrunching up her face, hips and torso shifting to snuggle herself deeper into the bed, she tried to figure out the cause of her sudden wakefulness. 

It was only then that she clocked the solid weight on her shoulder, heavier now as her mind took pains to stir itself. It was less than a second before she knew what it was, murmuring contentedly when Daryl’s hand resumed its heated passes across her back. Palm and fingertips treading lines of shivering fire wherever they roamed, he hummed deeply in response as his ministrations continued. Beth wondered if her man knew. If it was clear to him, that what he was doing now, was more likely to get him whatever he wanted. More than any well placed grope or knowing look ever would.

Trembling little waves started rolling down her vertebrae, stopping long enough to plummet off her tailbone and pulse between her thighs. Backrubs, she friggin’ loved backrubs. It would be nearly impossible for Beth to associate the action with anything less than sexual, with anyone other than Daryl. Daryl, who knew better than a person had a right to, what muscles and ridges to work in order to make her a puddling mess. Could turn her pliable and thrumming with a few shallow digs and lazy rubs.

If it was anyone else, she might feel self-conscious about the inquisitive little sounds that vibrated along and out of her throat. Might worry she was bothering or presuming too much, by sliding across the few inches of mattress and fitting the side of her body, hip to shoulder, down her bed fellow’s frame. But it  _ was _ Daryl, and he slid a thick leg over the back of hers. Slipped that marvelously calloused hand of his down until he could grip a cheek and squeeze, just enough to make her moan before returning to the meandering circuit of her back. 

“You wanna?” Thick lipped and still drowsy, Beth pushed against him inquisitively, still enjoying the roughened scrape of his skin on hers. He’d never done this before, woken her up out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night for sex. Made her curious, made once lethargic limbs and brain perk up at the idea.

Not surprisingly, she’d hardly let a day go by without being with him as closely as she could.

To feel every spare patch of flesh and hair, every bunching flex of muscle, and blinking flash of blue. All of what he had, she took, and threw back at him, finger knuckles locking tight and calf muscles straining to cling to him best she could. Sweat slick and crying until his name rasped from her in happy pants and sighs. Loving him. The way he moved and looked every minute, including and especially, the ones he spent inside her. Also the way he’d hold onto her afterwards, wrapping her up like he was keeping her from fleeing. 

Loving all of it.

“Nah,” he grated out low, voice chafed and threadbare. “Well…” And the hand on her slid some, sheets and mattress dipping and tugging as he shrugged, making her smile. “Should’a left you alone.” Pads flipped to their tips and she shivered at the slight catch of blunt nails as they skidded to trace along the far side of her ribs. 

“Why didnt’cha?” Attempting to roll so she could face him, an exhale kicked loudly out her nose, when he moved quicker than she ever could. And kept her sprawling on her stomach, muscled leg going taught against her thighs to aid him. 

Offering some kind of apology, or maybe consolation, he leaned over to begin tickling open mouthed kisses to her shoulder. All tenseness drained out of her into the bed below, as the pressure of his digits became less gliding and more prodding. Plying those areas he knew so well that made her as compliant as _he_ _was_ after she’d gotten him off.

“Y’alrigh’?” he asked, the words coming out of him so very quietly. Beth’s eyes finally cracked open, blinking flutteringly until they adjusted somewhat to the almost complete darkness. With the next to nothing light of the room, he was simply the closest shadow of many. Her biceps were trembling and jumping with the heat and wet of his kisses, and the breath that ghosted along the surface of their remains.

She felt a prickling along her hairline. There was something serious in that voice that sounded barely above a whisper. Pushing her half folded arms deeper underneath the pillows, searching, until she was able to grasp his left hand with her right. The flat of his tongue licked its way to her neck before her mass of hair blocked his path. He ticked back a bit, sucked the skin that happened to be next to the blonde and spiraling roadblock.

They hadn't bothered dressing after having sex before falling asleep. It was the first time since the attack that he'd let that happen. Had stubbornly insisted on sliding his bedside table in front of the door before clambering back into bed with her.

Beth's eyes could just make out the line of him that merged with the bedding. Warm fingers gripping hers as he nuzzled into her hair, the actions burning her eyes for some reason. They hadn't talked much about the raid or him being held against his will (other than her making him tell her in exact detail what the two had looked like so she could slap the shit out of them if they crossed paths) but this wasn't exactly a new practice. They rarely, meaning the whole dang group, ever talked about the horrific things that happened. It was like they'd all agreed to bury it collectively and move on the best they could.

Concerned about this sudden shift in behavior, she shimmied herself closer until bones and not just his skin could be felt. Wormed her way over until he was covering as much as lying next to her. If he wouldn't let her turn, she was going to achieve as much contact as she possibly could. It might not have always been the case, but Beth knew how much her touch meant to him. Wasn't a hard thing to figure, since his meant just as much to her.

"I'm ok," she said, digging her thumb into his palm. He'd left his face buried heavily within her hair. Temperature climbing with her newly acquired second skin, she still suffered a racing chill from nape to curling toes. His breath seeping through to her, as he massaged her lower back. " _ You  _ ok?"

"Mhmmm," his hum vibrated into her shoulder blade. But she waited, knowing he'd get around to explaining their current position and conversation when he could gather up and arrange the words how he wanted. "Heard from Carol," his face pulled back so he wasn't muffled, snagging up bits of her hair in his whiskers, "said ya handled yerself with the Wolves. Didn't hesitate or nothin', had her back through the whole thing."

Tongue slipping through to wet dried lips, Beth nodded, knowing from their close proximity he'd have no problem registering the movement. It'd had to be done, she respected Morgan's outlook on life, but she'd also learned to trust her instincts and there was no goodness left in the eyes of those they'd killed. Humanity had left a vacant pit for savagery and cruelty to swirl into, and she honestly felt it was more merciful than anything else. What they had done. Maybe that was just her way to cope, but it was working so far.

"Ya didn' tell me."

Trepidation cinched at her lungs, compressed her heart like his hand around hers was doing now. Like he was worried she was about to yank from his grasp, clocking the way his other hand went to curve around her side, broad fingers sinking into the slight spongey give of her belly. Why hadn't she told him? She didn't think he'd look at her any differently or coddle her to no end. But she'd told him considerably less than he had about his own experience, even if that still hadn't been much at all.

No she hadn't told him, because he no doubt would have asked if she were alright, after taking human lives. And upon finding out that she was, would probably want to know or at least be curious as to why, her first kill wasn't weighing down her soul. Which would then lead to her having to tell him that it wasn't. Her first had been at Grady, and she still tried the best she could to stay away from that place in her mind.

"Back, when they had me, at the hospital," she winced slightly at the sudden pinching clutch under her ribs that slackened just as quickly with an added small rub of apology before she continued, "Dawn got into a' fight with one of the others. I ended up..." She took a shaking breath as his hold moved down to her hip. "I pushed him down an elevator shaft, plus there was Gorman, but I mostly just helped that one along."

"Should'a pushed Dawn's bitch ass down the chute too," he grumbled, kneading the place under his cheek in pet-like bumps as if he wanted her to scratch behind his ears. "You dealin' with it though?" her answering nod prompted one from him that dug the bristled tips on his cheeks and chin into her with a sweet sort of pain. "Ya'd tell me if ya weren't?"

At first she only moved her face in another slight nod, but then decided to offer him a little more of an explanation. "I think sometimes that I shouldn't be handlin' it as well as I am. Must mean I got parts of me busted," he didn't interrupt her, but the hand cupping her hip tensed and the chest pressed to her arm stilled. "Can't imagine what daddy would think, but I keep tellin' myself world's a better place without 'em, ones I killed."

"It is," there was zero doubt in his voice.

"I 'spose daddy 'ld say it wasn't my right to decide such things..."

Quiet rolled and eddied through the room, and then, as cold trickled through her marrow despite the heat surrounding her, Daryl began murmuring almost too low for her to hear.

"Remember what ya said, 'bout m'dad?" she opened her mouth to reply, but he kept going, clearly trusting her memory enough to skip an answer, "can peg the fuckin' second I stopped carin' if someone killed that bastard."

She had serpents in her gut, because even now he'd rarely if ever spoken about his childhood, especially anything regarding the abuse he'd suffered through on his own. But now, stiffened digits moved from her hip up enough to brush some of her hair closer to his face, she felt as he tucked it underneath him like a pillow. Then ran a deliberate path from her right shoulder down until it crossed in a slanted line across her spine. Lifting up to drag another burning trail over the top half of the first.

Holding her breath, Beth felt the wriggling feeling in her stomach redouble as she realized he was marking the placement of the cross-like scar that dominated the lion's share of his back.

"Got in trouble at school," he explained, tracing the path over and over again, making her twitch. "I's pissed as fuck, 'bout fourteen or fifteen, an' I'd been showin' up t' that damn school covered in every kind a' fuckin' bruise imaginable for years." Her grip was grinding the bones of his hand together, but he didn't comment or perhaps didn’t notice. "Bastard didn' even try an' hide it anymore, black eyes, busted lip, teachers never said a fuckin' word."

She tried once more to move, and again he held her steady, maddening finger strokes finally stopping before he was back to massaging circles and swoops. It was impossible for her to imagine the level of his rage and despair, what she felt on his behalf now was probably nothing in comparison. But it still raked and crawled up her throat trying to choke and smother as it was.

"Figured, they didn' give a' shit, why the hell should I? Started lippin' off, glarin' at 'em no matter what the fuck they said." She felt as he swallowed, and his arm went back to more of a hugging wrap. "Got home one day, barely got a foot in the house 'fore he had me on the floor, thought I'd just be gettin' the belt ag'in."

"Daryl."

"Principal had called. Told the ol' man I had the devil in me," his voice was starting to catch and rasp. She was torn between wanting him to tell her everything he was willing, and making him stop because she could hear and feel how hard the recounting was on him. "Dad thought it was pretty fuckin' hilarious. Said we'd show 'em I wasn' possessed. 'Bout made me puke, fuckin'  _ reeked _ a' booze." She didn't realize she'd begun crying until the first tear rolled off the end of her nose. "Made sure t' pull m'shirt off, one a' the last ones I had, did it with 'is old pocket knife."

This time when she struggled against him he drew back enough and she was able to cradle his face in her hands. It was dark, and she knew inherently that this was the only reason why he was able to speak so freely, tell her so much. Keeping her breathing in check, she minimized her 'fussing' over him as much as she could. If he felt crowded or pitied it wouldn't matter the lack of light or concentration of pitch, he'd pull away from her quicker than she could clench.

"S'not even the scar ya can see now," she had to tilt into him to hear. "Ones from a knife, they're thin, fade quicker. Took a belt to it, year or so later, went slow t' get the lines right."

She didn't kiss him to shut him up, hoped he knew that in a vague way as their lips met. Just wanted desperately to flush some of the pain from him, any at all would do. Every shift and ducked gaze was making more and more sense to her, each bark and looming attempt at intimidation. For his part, Daryl took only a few seconds of the kiss to edge a heated tongue inside her mouth, working inside her unhurriedly and deep. When they ran short on air, he tucked his chin enough to breathe, foreheads and noses brushing.

"Yer dad was good, but there ain't no way he'd be disappointed in ya, not for anythin'," he told her evenly, hand coming to lay against hers on his face. "An' ya ain't fuckin' broke, I don' give a' shit who ya gotta take out. S'not a world for goddamn pacifist bullshit."

"What about Morgan?"

"S'good guy, but he's crazy," a coolness swept the back of her hand before her ponytail got tugged quickly, and she could imagine the serious look being aimed her way, "it comes down t' you or them, it better be them every time Brier, ya hear me?"

"Yeah Daryl I hear ya."

Murmuring an approving hum, he began kissing her again, and it didn't take her long to feel how quickly his focus had shifted. Feeling as a solid span of heat knocked into her thigh as her hands slid back to take up their customary position in his hair. Excitement nudging aside some of the prickled anxiety and sadness that had been permeating the air. When she bit down a little harder than usual on his lip, she smiled against his growling mouth as he turned them in one easy motion. 

She honestly couldn't decide what her favorite position was, all of them, any of them, whatever made it possible for him to slide inside and rub slick and stretching against her walls.

"Thought ya didn't wanna?" she teased, even as both their arms went out towards the bedside table…that was no longer there, having been moved to block the door.

"Fuck you," he huffed a laugh, groaning when she reached between them to stroke him a time or two, "always wanna with you girl." Dipping his head, Daryl grunted out a sharp breath, body tightening as Beth went about getting him off in earnest. "The fuck you doin' Beth?"

It’d been a while since she’d tried using just her hands, and apparently she was out of practice.

"Lost my touch, if ya can't tell," she answered, containing her own growl when he closed a larger hand over hers and stilled her movements.

"Wanna fuck ya, not bust one out on your stomach."

The uneasy cocktail of emotions from their conversation was lining the back of her throat, a desperate kind of need sent twinges and trembles down her arms through the bones of her wrist, prickling the hand that still held him.

She wasn't prepared for the vulnerable note that eked its way into her next words. "Just wanna make you happy." 

Apparently neither was Daryl, who remained so completely still above her, that Beth was worried she'd managed to freak him out or piss him off.

He levered himself off her and rose to his feet, heading over to the end table and digging around blindly before a foil package winked into view momentarily. When he got back onto the bed and was covering her once more, Daryl continued not to say a word until he was pressing his way in, moaning when he met with no resistance.

"Yer slick 'fore I even touch ya," he panted, voice sounding almost pained like it had earlier after his mishap with the water. He was nipping the edges of her cheeks, teeth offering only slight mercy as he continued. "Didn' even have 'ta finger ya or nothin', jus' kissin' gets ya like this for me." She was pretty sure she tried to reply as he rocked, but then his voice started again and she lost all ability to think. "You got me talkin' 'bout all sorts a' awful shit Beth, lovin' me through it anyway." Hauling up her legs until her shins framed his face, and hitting a spot that was hotwired to a noise that came kicking and guttered from the back of her throat, she barely understood the rest through his uneven breaths. "Ya make me more'n happy."

Afterwards – when they’d come back down and the shivering stopped – once he got done making her tip over the edge once more with his fingers, had spent those almost silent minutes nibbling and licking her chest while he did. Daryl wrapped her up tight, banding her to his side as assuredly as he had the time he’d fallen asleep with his head on her chest, and his arm and leg weighing her down. 

And lying like that, she slept deeply. 

Shocked, when she woke up the next morning to find them both in the same position, her right arm and hip complaining mildly from the maintained pressure. 

It wasn’t quite clear to her why, but suddenly, she was so overwhelmingly happy that Daryl had decided to stick out his attempt at farming. Even if he wasn’t necessarily enjoying himself as much as he did while haunting the woods outside the wall. She loved the fact that he was willing to keep at it. Knew she’d thought more than once how she wanted all of him, how she wanted all the memories too. And that’s what he was giving her.

“S’time t’ get up already?” his voice sounded, cracked and misfiring, through the predawn light. Stretching in unison, she laughed a little when he came out of his own rangy pull of limbs with a sigh, only to roll and snuggle himself into her. “C’mon, girl l’es go grow some shit.”

“Gotta get off of me for that ta’ happen,” she answered, running practiced fingers through his only marginally greasy hair.

His mumbled reply had her knowing he was only moments away from falling back to sleep. 

“Alrigh’, jus’ give me a' bit.”

Smiling to herself, Beth kept scratching light paths over his scalp until she heard his breathing deepen and slow. It wouldn’t hurt anything for them to be late, not like there were things like timeclocks anymore. Felt like another great little snapshot to lock up and keep safe. Letting her eyes blink closed once more, she tried to memorize every sensation. And did so, right down to the smell, musky bodies and sheets that were now both a couple of sweating activities into needing another wash. Kept hold of something he’d said last night, if it came between her, or someone she loved, and an enemy…well she had things to live for and souls to keep firmly attached to bodies.

So no one had better think about making it come down to a life or death decision while Beth had her finger on the trigger. She wanted to believe Daryl about what her daddy would have thought about her ability to take lives, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter.

Because she wouldn’t hesitate to do it all over again.

She wasn’t looking to die anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so one, as you see we didn't get a lot of farmer Daryl and plus it might be funnier to hear it from his POV anyway. And two, sorry if any of that seemed OOC you guys let me know. Trying to walk that fine line of them getting closer and him getting too...not Daryl...? Thanks as always for your patience.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this and sorry about the wait.

**Chapter 29**

 

"This is  _ so _ fucking boring."

Daryl glanced back over his shoulder to check the distance between them and the others in the garden before shifting his sight back to the grumpy teenager. The one who was, at the moment, glaring in agitation with his  _ one _ remaining eye at the freshly tilled dirt beneath his feet. Daryl couldn't really nag at the younger guy for being a little pissy. Especially since he was in complete agreement with the grumbled complaint himself.

But Rick had asked him to get Carl out of the house, so here they were.

"Yeah, well," Daryl conceded while hoping their conversation didn't carry too far, "quicker ya quit bitchin' about it, quicker we can get the fuck outta here."

The singularly sharp eye that latched onto him from underneath the battered sheriff’s hat stopped Daryl from ripping the next bag of fertilizer open. Carl had always been clever and watchful, and if they could all keep him from cracking off like his old man and getting himself killed, he'd be a hell of a leader someday. Just had to make a certain allowance for that track of wild that ran through him wide as a country mile. Whole damn Grimes family was making Daryl gray before his time.

"You don't like this either," the declaration was made with a dribbling line of surprise sewn through it.

Daryl’s attention migrated, as it usually did these days, to where the blonde stood a few rows away from them both. Arm and leg bones shifting as if restless in their homes, he reined in the listless motions quick as he could, every bit of his movement caught by Carl's gaze. It wasn't that he didn't see the point, or couldn't appreciate the honesty of the work, but the soil gig wasn't likely to outrank hunting for him any time soon.

It was better than twiddling his thumbs, and since his fuckin' bow was with that stringy haired bastard, Daryl was grateful to have something to occupy his otherwise fidgeting hands. Only problem was that they became all the more twitching and grasping for being around that woman of his all the time. Breathing her in along with wet dirt, the metal of the tools, and cutting bite of the fertilizer, holding it all like a last draw of nicotine in his lungs until it drove him clear past distraction.

Anymore he didn't know if he found how clumsy it still made him irritating or funny.

Probably funny.

That was probably a good thing, not getting pissed off at every little thing that happened. Not being able to help the silly as fuck grin that'd tug at his mouth when she'd worriedly glance at him and his mumbling curses. Yeah he liked that bit alright too he figured. It didn't stop him from planning hunting trips in his head as he planted seeds or drove a spade or shovel into the unyielding ground.

"You really love her huh?" Carl's voice snapped him from his thoughts, and he looked to the teen with a half-formed retort, before swallowing it back down and fixing his sight on the hands he was rubbing together distractedly.

Daryl watched as a deep marring brown ground its way from his thumb pad to the space between the ridged knuckles on his opposite hand, and he executed a quick chin dip before looking back to the bag of fertilizer. Began once more to tear it open from the first slitting breach he'd made before the conversation had turned awkward. This would be the last bit they did on the ground that was seeded. Beth had plans for the last section, ones that she'd said Eugene would tell him about. He was  _ really _ looking forward to that fucking chat.

"You must, to keep doing this," it was said through a bit of a sigh, and Daryl offered a snort of self-derision as answer. Thinking about the dark-eyed girl he'd seen peering at them from around house corners.  _ What the hell was her name?  _ Enid. He went about the work while Carl went to the near edge of the plot to gather up a couple jugs of water amongst the horde that sat waiting.

"S'that the same reason you're out here?" he asked, letting the partially emptied bag thump back down while lobbing a needling smirk the teenager's way. When his remark was met with only base confusion, Daryl ticked his head to the side in Enid’s direction, observing as Carl got a glimpse of the girl just before she ducked out of sight once more.

There was a kind of forward momentum that happened and Daryl watched with the slightest tickling of amusement as Carl just barely succeeded in keeping himself from chasing after the girl immediately. Brim of the tattered hat dipping to the bits of farming paraphernalia sprawled out around him, the teen took a few moments considering something before looking back to where Daryl still stood looking at him, only now with raised brows.

"G'on," he told Carl with a toss of his hand in generally the right direction. No reason for both of them to be tied to this goddamn community project, it was way too late for Daryl. 

What he wouldn't give to have a reason to chase his girl somewhere.

"Don't even know what I'm going to say to her," the younger guy murmured, eye narrowing in thought. There wasn't a whole lot Daryl could offer in that department, nothing willing  _ or _ able come to think of it. He stayed silent until it drew an inquiring look that was shrugged off, unease shivering around his shoulders at the idea of having to actually come up with anything to contribute. Things had gotten strained between the two teens since Ron…and Carl having to focus on shit like physical therapy and not dying of infection. "What would you say to Beth?"

Shooting the mildly grinning boy a glare, Daryl shifted uncomfortably at the idea of him and Beth fighting period. Especially since anytime they'd gotten into it in the past, he hadn't exactly been the one to make the first move or break the silence. When it seemed like the pestering little smart ass wasn't going to get a move on until he got some kind of response, Daryl grumbled the first thing that came to mind.

"I'dunno."

Carl's mouth twisted into something that might be considered a smile, and Daryl sure hoped Rick appreciated him getting the little bastard into such a good mood. Because it sure would have been a more peaceful morning on his end if the teen had stayed inside the house while they all completed the planting.

"That's probably  _ exactly  _ what you'd say," Carl joked, stepping away quickly when Daryl made a feinting swipe towards one of his thin arms. "Tell dad I'll swing by the infirmary soon to get my bandage changed, alright?"

"Ya better 'less you're wantin' Michonne t'track yer ass down."

The woman in question was on the far side of the garden, toting a visiting Lil' Asskicker before Maggie took the curly headed blonde back home for a nap. Carl nodded before striding off towards the last house they'd seen Enid disappear behind. Sliding a step back, eyes still on the retreating form of a narrow frame that hurried to find the girl who the kid could no doubt not stop thinking about, Daryl didn’t realize how close he’d set the bag of fertilizer until it was too late. Snapping his head down in time to see the contents spill out in an earthy wave onto the neat row of what would hopefully one day be potatoes, he cursed in true redneck fashion at the brown on brown picture it made. 

Crouching with a grunt, hands scooping and thrusting the runaway mess, Daryl had the perfect opportunity to appreciate the track of things that led him to this moment. What in the hell Merle would think of him playing farm hand, while faithfully and relentlessly fucking the farmer’s daughter…It was an easy bet that his older brother would be laughing himself hoarse, or maybe he’d just be proud of his little brother for being fuckin’ normal for once, like he’d always harped about. 

Hands feeling encrusted and slightly burnt from his shoving grasp, Daryl stood, ignoring the throb and pull of aging muscles to reach for one of the water containers Carl had left. Dumping some of the contents over his fertilizer smothered hands, he looked up when Rick came over, nodded to him and then Maggie as Lil’ Asskicker was being taken out of the heat. Weather couldn’t decide what the hell it wanted to do and this far north wasn’t dependable for him like his Georgian skies where he could predict what the day held without ever needing to check a news report in print or primetime. 

“Havin’ fun?” Rick questioned, one eye shutting tight against the light as his mouth quirked.

Daryl held back a scoff as he began to scrub his hands clean, or clean- _ er _ , with the rag from his back pocket. “You an’ yer kid got the same shitty sense a’ humor ya know that?”

“I am aware yeah,” the man smiled broadly, it was still amazing to Daryl how much Rick’s demeanor had changed once it became clear that his son was going to pull through. This version was far more optimistic, it was Rick from a long time back without much of the leader’s prior indecision. 

It might have been this, or that fun little encounter with the couple in the forest, but Daryl had found himself doing a regression of his own. Where Rick was once more in a positive more gracious frame of mind, Daryl conversely found himself more wary than hopeful lately. He had one constant, his blonde North Star, and his family but all else was layered in heaps of gray and he was back to not wanting to explore those murky trails like he’d been willing to a few weeks back. 

“Where’d Carl go?” the two men looked over in unison, watching Michonne close the short distance, dark brows pinched in more worry than curiosity. 

“Off t’ make Rick a’ grandpa I think.” Daryl answered, almost flashing a tooth with his grin when both faces went slack. “Calm down, ain’t serious. Those two ‘re probably off starin’ at their shoes t’gether or some shit.”

Neither one looked like they believed him much, but they also didn’t go running off after the couple so Daryl figured there was no damage done. And thankfully Rick was too freaked out by the idea to come back with something about Daryl’s own situation. Which speaking of, a quick glance around the area showed him no ponytailed head, but he did see Abraham and Tyreese having the time of their lives trying to nail one another with volleyed globs of water while Sasha rolled her eyes and stayed out of range.

“You ready for this run comin’ up?” Rick asked, sight still fixed off a distance towards the houses. “Kinda lookin’ forward to it myself.”

Daryl shrugged, since the Wolves he hadn’t left the walls without Beth in tow. Without his bow or a suitable replacement, they’d gone to setting snares which meant no big game was being brought in. A lot of their excursions had started to include conversations about the state the neighborhood pantry was in, and what they could do to bolster it. Problem was, even though they’d lost several of the Alexandrians lately, there was still an overwhelming amount of people to feed. The garden would take a while to yield, he and Beth could only catch so much small game, handicapped the way they were, and stores were running out faster than could be replaced. 

Considering he still didn’t know if his girl was expecting or not, this made him edgy to say the very least. The idea of Beth or their kid going hungry triggered something snarling and hackle raised that wrapped about his spine, bit into the bone. 

“You two just watch yourselves and don’t do anything stupid.” Receiving twin looks of mild indignation, Michonne placed well worked hands on her hips before continuing. “I can’t even remember the last time that it was only you guys on a run, so don’t be eyeing me any kind of way alright? Anything happens to either of you and we’re one step closer to being well and truly screwed.”

Rick exhaled a silent laugh before nodding, long legs carrying him over to one of the wooden railway ties where he took a seat with a muttered sigh. “We can have Beth come with us,” he informed Daryl before meeting his gaze. “Lord knows she can hold her own nowadays.”

“Said she was alright stayin’ here for this go around.” 

That wasn’t exactly what Beth had told him, truthfully, she’d said that it might be nice for him and Rick to have some ‘guy time’ whatever in the hell that meant. Like she thought the two of them were going on a road trip for kicks or something. Daryl had to say he wasn’t opposed to the way his girl didn’t insist on riding his ass every minute of the day, and knew he still liked his alone time. But leaving her here had never, not once, turned out alright…but she’d reminded him a couple of times now that’d it been quiet. And also, that she was more than willing to go with them the next time they headed out.

“Dixon!”

The three of them swiveled to see a drenched Abraham smiling like a kid at a waterpark as he waved a meaty arm in their direction. At Daryl’s answering head jerk the man gestured back towards one of the distant sections of the settlement’s fencing where they’d gathered and stacked a myriad of building supplies. It was sprawling at the moment with brick, surplus wood, and any other piece they’d needed for the construction of both the garden and brand new church that was almost finished. 

He really hadn’t seen the point of that one, but it had given Beth some kind of peace to have a familiar place like that around, so he’d mixed mortar and stacked the jigsaw stones into place while she sang and straightened his rows.

“Your lady gonna get back with that PVC pipe anytime soon ya think?” 

Eyes tripping from the redhead to the piles of lumber and back, Daryl stomped down the slight uneasiness and started walking. “Prob’ly can’ find it, way you  _ organize _ shit.”

Offering two dripping arms in a water logged motion, conceding the point, Abraham’s smile didn’t falter. “I offered my services, but she seemed rather determined. I find it best to step aside when a woman with that level of fighting knowhow and badassery makes up her mind.”

“Well look at that,” Sasha called, handing her brother a towel with more holes than cloth. “Guess you’re not quite as dumb as you look after all Abe.”

There was some kind of look that passed between the two, but Daryl was already by them and on his way to where the muscle bound redhead had pointed. Woman probably was just meandering through the piles of materials, looking for other ways to improve their yield. Shit sakes, she talked of little else these days before they fell asleep, but then he figured all he could bring to the conversation was much of the same. None of them wanted a repeat of that winter after the Greene farm got overrun. They’d barely survived with a handful of people. 

He kept his pace easy, measured and with little sway, the absence of his bow making the leather on his back feel stiff. Feet scuffing noiselessly over grass and pavement alike, the church caught at his eye line and he almost deviated his course…you never knew with religious people, girl could of gotten the sudden urge to pray. Flicking too long hair to one side he kept going towards his first destination as planned, they were still going to need the damn pipe one way or another, might as well get it since he was half way there.

Their community really was becoming a group of Depression era hoarders. The varying types of wood and stone, not to mention heavier pieces of iron and steel that’d been a bitch to scavenge but offered the promise of expanding the walls. The more room the bigger the crop and maybe if they could make it until harvest they’d be mostly self-sufficient. 

For a while anyway.

He knew the area, like he knew all the areas, pretty well and he was still a good three stacks of extra railway ties in when someone grabbed onto his wrist and yanked him in between the carefully balanced heaps. There’d been the initial instinct to tense or throw a quick punch, but it evaporated at the familiar calluses that chafed along the bones above his hands. And he allowed himself to be pushed until faded wings hit against the roughly hewn lumber and he was met with impish eyes that cast the sun’s light back at him. Beth smiled widely, and Daryl caught a flash of incisor before she spoke.

“Did I get ya?” she asked, while strong hands half the size of his own crawled themselves underneath his shirt and scratched inquisitively at his clenching abdomen. “Took you for friggin’  _ ever _ gettin’ over here.”

Anxiety salivated its way down the length of his spine as Beth didn’t give him the chance to answer, and instead was lifting slightly, soft giving mouth pressing to his. She stole his words before he could even think them, let alone spit them out. Kissing her back, or at least doing his best to, Daryl kept his hands hanging. 

He’d have to shake off the nerves of them touching like this out in the open before he could hope to offer much of a response to her. There was a bit of relief to have the makeshift wooden barrier to prop him up, since the light of his fuckin’ life was doing her best to suck the existence straight out of his body by means of his tongue.

Daryl’s stomach shivered as Beth made little scraping drags through the sweat that had lain itself thickly on top of his skin, sending trickling and streaming bits of desire down along navel and hips. Head feeling clouded, Daryl ducked down enough to be better able to reciprocate the kiss. She knew how much he hated the idea of people gawking at him, especially when it had to do with the two of them. But there didn’t seem to be anyone around at the moment and he wasn’t going to say no to a kiss like hers…probably ever. 

_ Goddamn _ , but there wasn’t anything not to like about the way Beth worked her tongue against his, the lapping thrusting motion that only increased in tempo until he thought their teeth might start to crack against one another.

She dribbled those sweet little pads of hers along his ribs one more time, before hooking them into the waistline of his pants and keeping them moored there while she spiraled slick and wanting around the inside of his mouth. Barely keeping up, but not feeling much of an urge to pull away, he allowed his hands the pleasure of resting just on the swell of her ass, thumbs grazing some skin now and then as he arced them back and forth across her jeans. 

His head was a mess, he wanted to ask what the hell had her doing this, but there wasn’t much of a mystery to figure out. Not in the act itself. He’d be a goddamn liar if he said  _ he _ hadn’t been the one, more often than not, dragging her dust covered body to their bedroom each night. But that was the thing. He got them safe, and locked up tight behind their door, before they got going like they were now.

Sure there’d been times, with other women, when he’d been too drunk and wound up to care. When the idea of being seen was preferable to taking them to whatever piece of shit dump he and Merle were staying at that particular week. Those times had him behind the honkytonk dive bars for however long it took him to get off. Who the hell wouldn’t feel like trash after spinning some nameless chick around and fucking them from behind so there wasn’t a risk of cheaply manicured nails slipping up and catching against all those scars? Wiping their lipstick and saliva off the back of his hand, the one he’d offered to pillow their faces on, so they could avoid tell-tale abrasions. He’d been so fuckin’ relieved when his body had decided that sex wasn’t that much of a priority anymore.         

Beth rubbed herself against him and Daryl couldn’t stop from flinching back, dick swollen and twitching, while his memories slotted themselves slideshow style in his mind’s eye before he could blink them away. Deep blues were staring worriedly up at him and his sudden priority became getting enough air in his lungs and enough give in his knuckles – the ones that felt clawed into her backside. Shit he was such a pussy. Pulling his gaze from her inquiring one, Daryl scanned the nearly claustrophobic space around them.

“Ain’t nobody out here but us,” she informed him in that soothing voice that should annoy the shit out of him, but managed to loosen his muscles instead. “Abraham was tellin’ me how silly we were ta’ be out workin’ when everyone else was takin’ a’ day to rest.”

His face screwed itself up in a grimace that he tried to slacken as he looked back to her. 

“Walkers don’.”

Nodding, Beth watched him seriously before she was unclasping a hand to reach up and slide through the scruff on his jaw, raising it again to knock away some of the hair in his face. He hadn’t quite managed to get rid of the bunch in his cheeks or the narrowness of his eyes as the gentle motion made him shy away slightly for a second time. Whenever they were getting to a place he felt steady, something had to kick him squarely in the kneecap and send him tumbling. It wasn’t always Beth’s doing, but it happened all the same, and he wound up in a similar position it seemed like regardless. 

Stiff dicked with aching knees…

“Us t’gether ain’t enough?” her brows snapped in tightly, and if he were a smart man he’d have stopped himself right there. “Gotta risk ‘em seein’ me fuck ya now?”

“You  _ know _ that’s not it.”

He was halfway through unclenching his teeth to make an idiotic reply when an honest to God miracle happened and he managed to shut the fuck up and get himself together. She was still looking at him, forehead furrowed, one hand still gripping on stubbornly to his pants while the other curved around his bicep. Of course she was right. He  _ knew _ that was the last thing on her mind, and one of these damn days he was going to keep those snapping statements to himself and avoid feeling like such a prick.

_ One day. _

Mumbling an apology as he dropped down to kiss her, Daryl tightened everything in him and went about what he had to in order to internally prepare himself. His girl was everything to him, corny and beaten to death as that sounded, she was salvation when he’d felt damned for so fuckin’ long. If she wanted this, a quick hard fuck that was nowhere near their bedroom, it was kind of the least he could do without making her feel shitty about it. And he’d already managed to mangle the hell out of that last part. 

There was a hesitancy in her now that he’d caused, and it wasn’t real difficult for him to tell she was moments away from making him stop and talk out the why of what he’d said. If she still wanted to know, if she asked him later while they were woven together in bed, or a few heavy breaths after he finished doing what was now in his mind to do…he’d try and make sense of it for her.

But for right now they needed to hurry, because avoiding the soul crushing embarrassment of having someone walk around one of the maze-like corners and catch them was still high on his list of goals. Right next to living up to whatever fantasy Beth had had in her head that managed to bring about this situation. Better to do something like this here instead of out in the woods like he’d seen in her eyes that day they’d gotten into it. 

Remembering the way her stance had widened just a little, how she’d eaten up his frame and locked back onto his glare with a kind of anticipation to her look that had jittered underneath the concern.  _ That _ memory made it possible to get back into the right headspace as his fingers went about ticking the button of her jeans open and sliding the zipper down. 

Beth paused as soon as she felt the fabric give way, and he pursued her kiss when she pulled away, until her back bowed and he was able to connect his lips with hers again. Half his awareness was honed into the sounds that happened infrequently around them, that, and keeping his own breathing at a low pant when he broke from her mouth. 

Pushing the outer material out of the way, Daryl first turned the both of them before spinning Beth so that her belly pressed along the unfinished beams. He could hear as the air rushed down her throat, the rubbing of clothing as he unzipped his own pants and pulled himself free. Left hand braced on the wood, he waited for the sensation of her cheek to set off another assaulting wave. But his Brier hadn’t given against his weight, toned arms flexing and hands splayed out in a similar way on either side of his own, she turned her neck trying to see him.

“We don-”

He hummed an answer before shutting her up as nicely as he knew how, teeth drawing blunt paths over lips that opened after only a second’s worth of resistance. His fingers jerked aside the panties that were a size too big for her, or were now, that she wasn’t eating as much – he tucked the thought away as he pushed aside her lower lips and found out how ready she was for him. Sending up a quick round of thanks he’d had reason to clean his hands before this happened. 

He could work his way in without much of a problem, and they did need to be fast, but Beth had made a surprised little chirping noise in her throat that distracted him.

Instead of holding her underwear out of the way and doing everything he could to have her coming quickly, Daryl found himself repositioning so he could wrap an arm around the front of her and get better leverage. Pushing his thumb against her clit, he curled two fingers inside of her and felt the shudder go through and the strength of those sun-kissed arms go lax for a breath. When he couldn’t focus on kissing her, working her inner walls, and listening for curious family members, he let the first stop in order to maintain the other two.

_ Christ _ .

It wasn’t like he was completely fucking opposed to what was happening. The painful throb working itself against that perfectly rounded ass of hers was enough to tell anyone that much. It was the pound of his heart, that living and festered thing in his guts, and the tightening of the skin along his back that he could do without. He’d be the first to (grudgingly) admit that he was getting old, but the idea of anyone seeing Beth make that face…The one he  _ knew _ she was making even though he couldn’t see it with the angle he was at. It didn’t excite him in the least. If there’d been some way to guarantee that that didn’t happen, maybe he could relax a little. Until then, he was touching her rougher than he liked, mouth scraping whiskers and nipping teeth along her neck.   

“We c’n go back,” Beth ground out, words getting snagged in the back of her throat. “To our room…if ya want.”

She was so fucking swollen around his fingers already, pressing his knuckles together as they slid through. Girl must have been thinking about this for a good while, to be so worked up and ready with barely anything added from him at all. Was making it easy, shouldn’t take long to tip her right the hell over the edge.

“Nah,” he rasped out, slipping his Beth slickened digits free and then using them to line himself up. “This what’cha wanted ain’t it?”

“Oh sweet lord,” she breathed the words harshly, as he slid partly in before needing to paw, near desperately, at her hip to open her stance enough to get him all the way to his base. “You don’t got…”

No he sure as fuck did  _ not _ have a rubber to put on for this particularly mind splintering event.

How in the hell was he supposed to see this as a possibility for his day?

Forgetting anything along the lines of responding, or doing anything other than sliding carefully in and out of her, teeth clenched until his enamel wanted to crack in order to stop him from spilling out against her tightened walls. He didn’t know what it was, the situation, the position, whatever, but she was closed around him  _ so _ fuckin’ snuggly. Each thrust was like the constricting bliss of every time she’d come in the past. And being bare for it, feeling the gripping hold of her that stroked him to within an inch of his life with each pass…Daryl couldn’t stop the broken moan that came out when Beth pivoted her hips back and met his next thrust.

Somewhere a litany of his name was being gasped out. 

He didn’t realize he was forcing her into their makeshift wall until the knuckles of the hand that held firmly to her hip got pinched in between bone and railway tie. Beth’s arms finally gave out against his single minded focus, and her face pressed against the hand he still had braced in front of her. Hot breath skated over to his nailbeds and his next motion was far more jerking and demanding than he’d meant for it to be, Beth’s hitching cry enough to make him slow down slightly. 

Taking in a deep breath through his nose, Daryl was peppered with smells that ricocheted his mind into back allies and strangers at the end of his cock. Rhythm getting shot straight to hell, he buried his face into her neck. He needed that familiar scent, needed her sweat and sex to clear out the wood resin and baked brick that made him think of too many Georgian nights spent shit faced drunk. That wild sweetness would clear phantom smoke and Jack Daniels from the back of his tongue, and so he lost a layer of skin from the hand clawed into her hip to twist her neck enough to get his taste.

When she came, hard and crying into his mouth, he jerked his dick free with a grunt, her clenching walls threatening to milk every ounce of spunk out of him. Scraping a stinging hand past the band of her panties, Daryl circled his pads over her twitching clit until she was shuddering – cries chasing out each exhale as she caught her breath and he kissed the sweat slick expanse of her throat. Letting up in each area of attention only when her thighs flexed in defensively, letting him know she couldn’t take anymore. Dragging until he reached a shivering stretch of belly, he kept his place and held her as she re-spun herself into someone coherent once more. 

Carefully tucking his still hardened and aching dick into his pants after she’d straightened and turned, Daryl raised questioning brows at the dreamy but distinctly frown covered expression she gave him. He knew he’d done good, had the smear on his pants from her to prove it, but there was something making his girl look decidedly pouty which Beth didn’t normally do. Helping her to get her jeans in order, he met her gaze and waited. Woman didn’t believe in keeping stuff to herself when it came to him, he’d get an earful if she thought he deserved it.

What he wasn’t expecting was the small hand that came to cup him through the material of his pants, sending shots and currents to all the right places.

“Ya hated it that much?” she murmured, continuing to rub at him slowly, almost as if she didn’t realize she was doing it at all. 

He grunted some kind of disagreeing noise while tipping into her hold and propping an arm next to her head, scruff tickled by her breathing as he tried to answer with something resembling syllables. “S’real fuckin’ good Brier.”

“Don’t like it when you don’t get off.”

_ Me neither woman, shit. _

“Jus’ ain’t easy for me, worryin’ ‘bout someone gettin’ an eyeful of m’ass out here like this.”

Beth tugged lightly at the collar of his shirt until he lowered enough to kiss her, sparks rabbiting across his skin when she traced a path down his chest and stomach, clearly intent on making him the same boneless level of content she was. Trapping her wrists and pulling her hands from his body, Daryl felt the corner of his mouth tick into the slightest smile when she huffed out an irritated breath.

“You wait ‘til we get this pipe for the tomatoes over to the garden an’ set up Daryl Dixon,” Beth threatened quietly against his lips. “I’m gonna do that thing ya like, the  _ second _ we get back to our room later on.”

His hands convulsed unintentionally on her wrists, but it only made her mouth curve against his as he swallowed too hard.

“Tha’ one Eric told ya about?”

“Mhmmm.”

_ Fuck yeah. _

Maybe doing this kind of thing wasn’t too much for him to handle after all.      

Might just take some practice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy that bit of levity people, ride's gonna get bumpy after this.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Jesus and mass murder - happy holidays folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Woah ok, so hi, thought I'd take the time to say thanks x 1 million for all the support and patience and sorry it took so long to get this update out.
> 
> Also a little heads up - as always anymore, this has been proof read once so it will be rough and I apologize. Another thing, is that it skips through a couple of days events that happen in the show but are from Beth's perspective. I'll add more notes about this at the end but feel free to ask questions and I'll be more than happy to answer any points of confusion.
> 
> Happy Reading!

**Chapter 30**

"You must be Jesus."

The man in the leather jacket flicked his eyes up to hers. Beth cocked her hip slightly, just for a moment, to feel the reassuring weight of her knife push into her hip. She highly doubted he'd try anything, considering some kind of peace talk or possible deal was about to go on between him and the Alexandrians. A part of her still rebelled against the idea that she or her family were officially  _ Alexandrians  _ themselves, but it was kind of hard to argue the point with any real hope of success.

This was their home now.

Keen eyes tracked her movements without being overtly noticeable about doing so, and a polite smile curved the man's mouth as he extended a gloved hand. From the amount of mumbling and cursing Daryl had done about him in the short time since their return, she had to admit to a certain amount of curiosity about the stranger. Her man had been in an odd headspace since those assholes took him and then stole his gear and left him out in middle of nowhere. He'd been reluctant all of a sudden to look for other new people, and it felt like to Beth that he was withdrawing into himself. This new guy chafed at him, riled him all up, maybe even  _ more _ than those other folks had.

Meant this Jesus had to be interesting at the very least.

"And you must be Beth," he replied easily, hand squeezing hers firmly, lingering just a moment before letting go. "I gotta say, you're not at all how I pictured."

Her brows furrowed at the statement, but she still didn't feel that warning churn in her gut at his words, just more curiosity. "Didn't know my renown had spread so far."

Another quick smile, mouth quirked, he leaned back against the long kitchen counter and considered her like she was doing to him. Similar to when she had met Aaron, Beth paid close attention to his eyes. It was all in the eyes for her, at least initially, when it came to her getting a handle on someone's character. His were lively enough, if guarded, and she couldn't quite help but return his expression - while keeping  _ her _ guard up as well.

"Yeah, yeah it has," he answered, those quick eyes ticking to the kitchen's doorway as more people trickled into the room. “I mean technically, I think I’ve met all the other key people here so you had to be Beth. The big guy-"

"Daryl?"

"The one that looks like the most trouble?" he tried to clarify, brows jumping and beard twitching in amusement. "You've got quite a lot of pull with him."

Beth's lips parted slightly for a mildly startled inhale, maybe not as much surprise in the deep breath as there was a thrill. She knew that Daryl respected her, trusted her, but she hadn't expected for this stranger to pick up on that with such limited interaction. Her hunter was hard to read. So either Jesus was incredibly perceptive or he'd been eavesdropping - could be both.

"Is that so?" Her voice was all surprise, but her expression was a knowing one, and if the man was as quick as he seemed, he'd pick up on that and the dryness of her tone.

"Well, enough at least to make Rick think your opinion of me would carry weight with him."

There was not a single part of her that thought for a moment he hadn't known the name of "the big guy", or that he had gotten this information he was sharing with her now willingly from Rick. Their leader was inherently suspicious, in fact, that was one of the reasons he and Daryl got along so well. They both thought paranoia, when it came to the present state of things, equaled a healthy state of mind. Not to mention, Rick would  _ never  _ share anything that might highlight a possible weakness of his brother's. The two were pack animals in the purest sense, fought side by side and back to back, fangs and teeth flashing at anything that came too close to the other.

Not far from how she was these days either, come to think of it.

"Ya weren't as unconscious as the boys thought ya were huh?"

His eyes crinkled after a flash of surprise. "I've found," he led in, somewhat slowly, "that you can find out a lot about people when they don't think you're looking," another slight pause, "or listening."

"Dangerous though," she commented, having to tweak her level of respect for him slightly. He shrugged and continued to return her gaze, a shiver went down her neck and she knew without looking that Daryl had made his way into the room. "So what else did you find out?"

A heat that wasn't actually there rolled from one of her shoulders to the other. Beth could just imagine the look that was being cast their way as Daryl fought with himself about coming over or not. Maybe she should feel more concern about this stranger, about his abilities that were obviously considerable, about what his presence meant for her and the ones she loved. But it felt like everyone was on high alert enough for her to take a step back and try to get the layout of the situation her own way.

"Right now," he said, voice dropping, "he trusts you more than he does himself." He let that sink in a bit before continuing in a lighter tone. "Oh, and he hates my nickname."

That got a huffing laugh from her. "Don't take it  _ too _ personal," she replied, gesturing to where she could still feel Daryl's eyes on her back. "He doesn't much care for  _ any  _ when it comes down to it."

They were quiet for a second or two before he spoke again.

"You all are good people." Beth didn't know which of them was more surprised by this last bit of gathered information. "I couldn't tell before, but I can now, those two hauled me along instead of leaving me. Even if Daryl  _ would have _ preferred to leave me tied up in a tree."

Beth's lips folded in, trying to mitigate her smile. 

"Yeah, well, you're not the first one he's come across that thought he looked like trouble." 

Memories of that night assaulted her all at once and the humor left as quickly as it had come.

Her expression went flat and she noticed the way Jesus stilled as it did.

"Beth," Daryl's near growl raced up her spine, and now his actual body heat buffeted against her back. He'd actually held out longer than she'd expected him to. "Wantin' t' get goin'," he explained, with a chin jerk towards the group. He cut a look at Jesus, who remained looking mostly nonchalant.

At Daryl's scowl, the newcomer eased away from the counter and made unhurried steps to the table where they'd planned to have their talk. She felt a tug on her jeans and looked down to see a blocky finger hooked into one of the loops. The morning light leeched away a lot of his tan, but he still looked dark against her faded pants and purple tank top.

The gesture made her lungs quit. He was gnawing at his lips, clearly agitated, as he drew her closer to him, almost pulling their hips together as he did so. Beth couldn't seem to look away from his curling digits wrapped up white-skinned in the fabric, his broad palms obscured and the tendons in his wrist standing out.

On one hand she knew there'd been times when he'd been willing to touch her in public in a way that could be easily deemed as affectionate. But it had been rare and in between enough that the proximity of their family, not to mention the unwanted guest, made her pulse triple in her throat. A part of her was screaming at her to help him in some way, because there must be fog and fire in him now to warrant the touch. The kind that had swamped and threatened to undo her - that she'd barely managed to suppress with Daryl's help.

On the other hand, he didn't feel overly detached at the moment, her eyes locked on his when she was finally able to drag her gaze up. Like Jesus had said, he felt off balance, uncertainty in his face as they looked at one another silently. Maybe this had nothing to do with the people that had taken him, or the pregnancy scare (that still hung over their heads) or even the unknown element that was talking quietly with Rick at the moment. Maybe this was him trying again, like he had the other day with her pressed between him and those railway ties.

Breaking out of his comfort zone in order to make her happy.

_ Whad'ya think of him? _

She smiled softly, loving that they could do this, that she was one of the very few that could with him. Steel blues squinted mildly at her in exasperation, before he gave her loop a yank and knocked their hips together on one side.

_ Seems alright... _

Daryl didn't seem overly pleased with the verdict, but nodded his acceptance anyway, knocking their hips together again lightly before releasing her. She watched as he prowled his way over to the waiting group. There was a slight niggling in the back of her mind, a grating kind of worrying similar to his teeth in his lip moments ago. There was also some survivalist instinct bristling and rustling against her consciousness as she made her way over to them. The talk began, but Beth was more internally than externally focused as it continued to unfold.

Her man stood to one side of her, equally as silent, while Rick and Jesus did most of the talking about the two settlements. It was nearly an impossible task, to not shoot continual side glances his way as everyone talked around them. Those instincts that had been truly born while in the woods with him after the prison, the ones that had fled (along with most of her sanity) at the last of her time in Grady, and that had clawed their way back since he'd saved her - were all digging and rooting around for whatever it was had tripped them up in the first place.

Something to do with Daryl, something with where his head was at maybe.

He'd found no solace in working the earth. Missed his bow and bike. Felt the dwindling food supply like an open wound. And even though he believed her, that she didn't think she was expecting, they both knew it was still a possibility and the idea of their baby starving in the womb...Well, it was taking a mirror shard to his nerves.

If she couldn't manage to alleviate some of the pressure bringing out the darkness underneath his eyes and the stiffness in his frame it was going to cause trouble. The scale of which she couldn't begin to grasp at, but that felt too ominous to ignore. What she did know for certain, was that the next couple of weeks were going to be rocky as hell.

It was only a handful of hours later and she had to congratulate herself, in a strictly cynical and jaundiced way, at just how accurate her thoughts had been during the meeting.

"You two gonna be ok?" Maggie asked, hand lighting on her back, the Hilltop wall shading them from the afternoon sun. Beth shook her head uncertainly, throat tight and stomach rolling, watching as Michonne came down the front steps of the main building and crossed the open lawn to stop in front of them.

"You alright?"

This time she gave a jerking shrug, they'd be leaving soon and she couldn't handle being so wound up while being enclosed in so small a space with everyone - and him. The idea cycloned around her spine enough to make her grope blindly for the roughly hewn wall next to her. Her sister's hand went from rubbing to gripping, trying to keep her steady as Beth swallowed frantically. After all the death and heinous things she'd seen, and done, it was still beyond her how the man she loved more than her own life had just enthusiastically volunteered them to commit mass murder.

Their following conversation in the hallway outside of Gregory's office had gone from low whispers to whisper-yelling, and each of them storming off in different direction. It wasn't how today was supposed to have gone. Technically, she hadn't had  _ any _ kind of specific expectation about today’s events, but she couldn't stop the thought from skipping over and over again in her head anyway. Things had developed as they'd gone along, that had given her reason to hope, and now that appeared to be just another baseless dream.

"Bethy," Maggie murmured quietly, Michonne turning to glare away Glenn and Abraham who both immediately turned about and went back up the steps to wait. "It's not too late. I can go with ya ta' see Harlan. Doesn't look like Rick's had any luck getting him back either."

Well, if anyone (other than her)  _ was _ able to reel the redneck back in, it was his adoptive brother.

She stared at Maggie, both of them glancing at last to their other companion, who was thankfully able to stop herself from looking surprised or asking Beth a million questions. It occurred to her to say no, but it  _ would _ still be one less thing to worry about, and it certainly couldn't do any harm. So he wouldn't be with her, like they'd talked about after hearing there was someone at the Hilltop that could test to see if she was pregnant or not. So they'd just fought, and the knowledge of what their family was going to do made her physically ill to contemplate.

Like always, shit still needed to be taken care of.

They all had jobs to do.

Nodding, Beth wrapped an arm around her sister's waist and found solace in Michonne's encouraging smile as the two led her towards the doctor's trailer. She could feel several sets of eyes on her, and knew without scanning those sets that none of them were his. Her boots scraped going up the wooden steps, and she slid through the doorway when Maggie opened the door with its overly sharp edges.

When she found out, would she tell him? Eventually yes of course, and she wouldn't be withholding the information vindictively she knew. It was more of not wanting to push him further away than he already was. She'd avoided asking him to talk about it point blank for a while. Might have been justifying her focus on the physical attention she was giving him for the emotional stability she knew he was lacking. It'd made some kind of ridiculous sense at the time, to show him how ok she was and how much she loved him through satisfying them both as often as was possible. Daryl didn't like vocalizing much of anything after all, it had made sense...at the time.

All it had accomplished, apparently, was to make him far more desperate not to lose her. Not to lose the possible life inside of her. To not let her go hungry, or risk another Wolves or Governor situation, losing another home so soon.

She'd tell him, whatever the results were, as soon as things calmed down for just a millisecond. It would be good to be a little surer that the information wouldn't compound the argument that had happened only a few minutes ago.

Another, smaller, handful of hours later saw those that had gone on the journey trundling back towards Alexandria. A weighted silence filled the shuddering walls of the RV as they covered the back roads that would take them home. Maggie passed her a small black and white photo, anxiety clear in her sister's expression as Beth studied it, the smallish blob in the middle showing the makings of her niece or nephew. She breathed through the odd stabbing sensation that stung at her along sternum and collar bones, offering Glenn and Maggie both a mostly convincing smile as she handed the photo to Abraham.

The man smiled good naturedly at the ultrasound before tapping it against the knee of the still-brooding redneck perched on the seat next to him. Beth watched Daryl's face even while trying not to, failing miserably and being easily caught at it when dark blues snapped up to pin hers. With a tip of her head, Beth indicated the couple sitting next to her, the one staring at him in tandem with a slight wariness. She watched the muscles in his neck work for a moment before he dipped a nod at them and ticked up the world's smallest smile.

He handed the picture back to Glenn and settled onto the bench once more, his gaze quickly finding Beth's once he was in place. There was no way the man didn't want to know if she'd made it to see the doctor or not. For all her reassurances over the last month or so, he'd want the absolute certainty that only an actual medical professional could bring.

She waited.

Waited, for that easy communication to happen between them, but it didn't come. She looked at him and it was all barricades and smoldering anger, tinged with a kind of sulky curiosity that he refused to let move him into speaking - with his eyes or otherwise. Beth blinked away from what she saw as quickly as she could, throttling the inclination to cry that had itched along her lids and ducts. It wasn't the first time they'd been this way.

Their meltdown this afternoon didn't mean they were over, or that things were going to start back at square one. He was scared and pissed. She was worried and disapproving. 

No. 

Definitely not the first time that they'd been in this unforgiving terrain. 

Beth had to admit though that his choice to block her out - to refuse to even ask about the pregnancy results when he'd been the one so tore up about it - ticked her off pretty good. He'd cool off eventually, and when that happened he'd be the one to make the first move in mending them.

She wasn't ever going to give up on Daryl Dixon, but she sure as fuck wasn't going to let his fear bully her into agreeing with him when she didn't. Into staying silent while taking whatever bile that fear churned out and vomited all over her. She wasn't that person, and hadn't ever been, not at the shine shack and not now.

The next day, the day of the attack, Beth took time to clean and sharpen her knife once more before it was time for them to load up and head to the Savior base. It was, in a way, an act of rebellion on a couple of fronts. Firstly, her nerves were trying to get the best of her, and the well-known actions helped calmed her down - made her focus. Secondly, it had disappeared from the dresser in her and Daryl's room (the one she'd spent the night alone in) when she'd woken this morning, only to reappear after she'd finished showering. Almost as though, a  _ certain _ irritating someone, had taken it and done the work for her. Either not trusting her to do it herself, or as a show of truce. Neither of which she was in the mood to feel benevolent about, considering she'd slept like crap and had an ache that wasn't likely to get the attention of a backrub anytime soon.

"I should be going with you all."

Beth jerked her head up to see Tyreese, neck twinging when she did so, and she barely held back the wince that tightened itself throughout her shoulders. During their town meeting he and Morgan had both been opposed to the plan to attack the Saviors. She'd remained silent, just like she'd said she would. Not that that ignorant ass jerk had -

"If you're all going, so should I," he continued, looking tortured. No doubt the state of his expression was due to the idea of  _ actually  _ going, and along with that, the knowledge that mentally he just couldn't. 

Beth definitely hadn't been the only one in need of a mental respite by the time Aaron had come along to offer them a home.

Thinking quickly, she returned to her work before responding. "You know it's better to have as many people watching over this place as we can." She heard the scrape of a kitchen chair that was opposite the one she currently occupied, and glanced up as he sat heavily and watched her blade slip across the whet stone. Beth knew without saying anything that they were both thinking about the Wolves attack. "If it weren't for you an' Carl who knows what might've happened to Judith."

Tyreese nodded grudgingly, but didn't look completely mollified by her answer. "Kid's more willing to take care of issues like that than I am."

"Well," she muttered, wiping the twice sharpened edge with a bit of cloth, "ya'll will work just fine then as a team. He an' Enid are real quick, but they gotta be able to move without the baby's extra weight. I'm sure Carl'd rather have you protectin' his sister while he does what he has to. Only thing that matters is that Judy's safe, and that we have able bodies to protect our home while we get this worked out."

Another nod, this one accompanied by a sigh.

"I'm surprised Daryl's alright with you goin' in with them to the base."

Yesterday surged into her, loud and spitting with its memories, and she sheathed her knife with more force than was necessary.

"He isn't," she answered, her humorless smile earning raised brows.

"You and my sister are scarily similar sometimes, you know that?"

Her grin turned more genuine as she got to her feet, hearing the slight bustling noises of outside increase as more and more people collected on the street in front of the house.

"I'm taking that as a compliment."

Tyreese let out a rumbled laugh before standing to follow her out the front door, grumbling mildly under his breath a, "You do that" while he did. They stalled out on the porch, watching people talk in small packs, or helping others to pack the vehicles full of the gear they'd need to survive the day. Her uneasy gut frothed below her ribs, and deep breaths did little to settle it down. "You all come back safe alright?"

"Do our best," she answered, squeezing the big hand that had reached out to reassuringly hold hers. One more quick smile, and she turned away to move down the steps and see if there was anything she could help with.

Beth had gone all of five steps when a stationary figure in her peripheral vision got her attention, and she turned to see him looking at her. A night out on the porch certainly hadn’t done him any favors. There was a haggard edge to his features that she hadn’t seen in the longest time. Not since they’d gotten to Alexandria, not since they’d been together, had his face looked so devoid of happiness. Instead of hollowness, instead of his sharp cheek bones standing out even starker than usual, his face had a patchy swollen quality to it. At the distance she was at, Beth could never have guessed that his eyes were blue, or that his lips had ever quirked at her in crooked smiles that melted her boneless. 

The group moved all around them, but no matter how much she told herself to, each booted foot remained unmoving from the sidewalk. For his part, Daryl seemed just as unable, and worse for being lonely without his freaking bow. She almost gave up the idea of letting him come to her whenever he was ready, but stopped herself just as his gaze flashed and his chin tipped up in question.

_ You with me today? _

It took everything in her not to simply walk away, to close him out like he had done to her the day before on the RV. There was no room for the distraction though, so she nodded in answer. She’d thought that’d be the end of it, but he didn’t seem quite satisfied with her reply.

“You gonna stick by me, when we get there?” His words barely made it to her, and a couple of people walking by him looked over in confusion before they were able to follow his eye line. 

Beth awarded him another miniscule nod before finally getting her body to cooperate enough to make stiff legged steps away from where he stood. 

It was too much like... 

Actually it was the  _ exact _ thing he’d said to her when they’d gotten to the Safe Zone, and she didn’t want the reminder of how hopeful and terrified they’d been that day. How easily she’d been able to answer him and hold his hand, mostly out of sight from any curious spectators, and feel strength and safety in the touch. Beth didn’t know if he’d done it on purpose, or if it was simply what came to mind for him to say. Whatever the answer, she wanted this whole ordeal over with so that they might have time to get over their hard feelings and back to being the people that leaned against one another for support.

So it was time they got moving, time to get it all over with.

And  _ it _ was terrible…

_ At first _ .

More terrible than what she’d been expecting and that was definitely saying something. 

Pressing her blade firmly and unflinchingly through sleeping Saviors’ ear canals and eye sockets, Beth snuffed out life after life, and prayed that the rest of her family was just as successful in the task. It wasn’t like it had been with the Wolves. The souls she severed from their bodies weren’t senseless and reeking. They weren’t mangling or mutilating themselves or torturing and butchering victims. 

Not from what she could see  _ at first _ anyway. Not until Glenn silently motioned her to the first room he and Heath had cleared, where a wall of photos depicted exactly what kind of monsters slept in the beds around them. Exchanging a look with Daryl on her way out of the room, she was sickly thankful for what she’d seen in all those Polaroids. The bludgeoned victims that were within each shot without faces or names, too brutalized to be identifiable. It gave her something to focus on. 

What went through Beth’s mind after that, with each downward press, was the idea of the specific person that was under her knife doing those same unspeakable things to her family. 

To Daryl.

He hadn’t wanted her to come, to be a part of it. No way had she been willing to let that happen. 

_ No _ .

If he was going to be a murderer for her sake, then she was going to be the same for him. Special treatment wasn’t something she was interested in. Plus, as she’d reminded him through clenched teeth during their fight, bad shit happened every time they separated. So when he hovered over one sleeping enemy, she was meager feet from him doing the same, and at his nod they sunk their respective knives down, down, down.

They moved in sync through the silent hallways after a while, Beth shadowing him and his raised shotgun, Rick and Michonne within sight at all times.  

When the alarm sounded and the shooting started, she could feel the absolute terror and rage radiating from her man with the dirty angel wings on his back. The ones she ducked behind until his magazine was empty, and then swung to the side of, firing off her own round of shots as she continued to follow his path. As for herself, Beth was filled with that same old Grady-given coldness, determination and calculation hardened any would-be shaking nerve or muscle and she downed any opponent that peaked out from their cover for too long. Then the alarm was gone and they were outside and everything was quiet for a few overly loud beats of her heart that pressed painfully against her ear drums. 

It was like that until a familiar engine’s roar caught their attention and they all turned in time to see some guy tear out of the compound on Daryl’s bike.

" _Son of a’ bitch!"_

Her clip was spent, but thankfully Rosita was on top of things, popping off a few shots and giving Daryl the chance he needed to tackle the man.

The rest of the day spun by, in and out of the post-adrenaline haze that threatened to swamp her, and all she could do was think about how things had gotten away from them. She’d been expecting it to happen, but not in the way that it did. 

She’d just made the mistake of feeling relief after all, for a breath, when she found out that Maggie and Carol had been taken. Her sister had wanted to come with them too of course, but Glenn and Beth had been able to talk her out of it. Had actually talked  _ right over _ Maggie’s objections until finally Carol had agreed to stick with her and be their eyes while they took the compound. Listening to the radio conversation between Rick and the bitch that had her sister, Beth had decided to be stuck to the man’s hip as they scrambled to go after them.

“Beth don’t worry alright?” he’d told her, eyes in that too-wide set that said he was one more crisis away from snapping once again. “We’ll get them both back ok? I promise.”

_ Don’t do that. _

She’d wanted to scream it at him, but had managed a curt nod instead.

From the glimpse she’d seen of Daryl’s face, he appeared to be moments from throwing up.

But she’d been unable to worry about anything other than getting Carol and her pregnant sister back. There hadn’t been time to yell at Rick for making promises he wasn’t capable of keeping, or comforting the love of her life, or being comforted herself. Besides the first glance, she couldn’t find it in her to even look at Daryl again, let alone speak to him. Didn’t possess the strength to not wrap her arms around him, regardless of their fight or his shitty decisions, and beg him to make the same useless promises to her that Rick had. 

It worked out though.

The sun set and found the sisters reunited, basically wrapped around one another on Beth’s front porch with Glenn on Maggie’s other side, hand rubbing in shaking passes down her back. For all intents and purposes they’d done it, they’d won, and as far as they knew their deal with the Hilltop was good which meant they wouldn’t starve. It didn’t stop the pit that was inhabiting her stomach from trying to suck her throat through her lungs. Right now she simply wanted to hold her sister tightly until the freeze inside her thawed, and the tickle along her spine that told her Daryl was sneaking looks at them through the house’s windows went away.

“I swear Bethy, I’m fine,” Maggie reiterated probably for the tenth time or more. “Baby’s fine too.” This last she directed to both her clingers-on with a reassuring smile, and Beth did her best to ignore the troubling pallor of her sister’s face. “Glenn honey, can you get me some water please? All that murder an’ mayhem has got me parched.”

Getting the clear hint that she wanted to have some private talk with Beth, Glenn smiled and went into the house.  

“What’s up Mags?” Beth asked, once they were alone. She blinked her eyes repeatedly, urging herself to focus and come back to reality completely. Trying as she did so to forget how poorly she’d slept, how hard she’d fought, and how unlikely she was to have a restful night’s sleep tonight.

“You an’ Daryl gotta work things out.” Maggie’s tone was the kind of no-nonsense that reminded Beth of their daddy. 

“Maggie, us fightin’ is about the least important thing to be thinkin’ about right now.”

“No.” Her sister’s dark hair smacked her cheeks with how fast she shook her head, hands tightening in their place on Beth’s arms. “None of us can afford to be off kilter, maybe  _ especially _ not you an’ him.” She was having a hard time keying into her sister’s words, but did her best to internalize what was being said despite her exhaustion. “It ain’t worth it Beth,” Maggie pleaded, all tight lipped and almost desperate. “Today could’a been it, for any of us,  _ all of us _ . And y’all already took so damn long to get t’gether too.”

Taking a deep breath, Beth nodded, hugging Maggie once more and feeling her bone deep shivering. It wasn’t as though she disagreed, wasn’t as though making up with Daryl wasn’t just about the top thing on her list of to-do things. And maybe it was only because she was so tired, but going through whatever emotional rollercoaster that was going to be required when it came to ironing things out between the two of them – she didn’t have it. Not now anyway. 

As petty and awful as it was, end of the world or not, all she wanted was to curl up somewhere quiet and go to sleep. And for once, not be the first one that initiated whatever awkward conversation was necessary for them to get back to normal. 

He was Daryl.

He’d be dragging his feet the whole way, but he’d man up and talk to her.

She had faith.

She always would.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so there's that and I hope it didn't feel too choppy. The fight between Daryl and Beth will come through in more detail in later chapters as memories so if you feel like I left you high and dry at least know I did it on purpose and not because I've completely lost my mind. Christmas break is coming to an end here shortly, but for anyone reading my other fic Fix know that I plan (and hope) to have the Xmas chapter for that up before I head back into classes. Thanks so much guys!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memory turned nightmare, and Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Thanks to everyone who has supported the story until this point, the scene at the end of the chapter is one of the ones that made me want to write this fic to begin with, so I was really excited to get it all out at last. I honestly have no idea how many chapters this thing has left b/c the show is still going, which leads me to my next point...
> 
> This chapter might be a little confusing for those of you that stopped watching the show, it might be a little frustrating for those of you that are still watching it. I always try to skim through the show events just enough to keep everyone up to speed so the middle of this chapter is a little hectic as I try to not lose anyone. I apologize if it's disorienting.
> 
> Next - With trying to make sure everyone knows where I'm at in the timeline I decided to include a lot of the dialogue that happens in certain episodes to try to intertwine the story lines as much as possible. I feel the need to make another disclaimer at this point saying that at several points through this chapter much of the dialogue is the creation of TWD writers and not myself.
> 
> It's long people, pace yourselves.
> 
> Good luck reading!

**Chapter 31**

_ His eyes traveled their normal route down the features of her face. Her blues were a dark jean color, a sure sign something was bothering her, they usually blinked cool summer his way. If that wasn’t enough, those two little lines he’d taken a thumb pad or lips to on more than one occasion, had appeared between her brows. Full lips pinched together without a peek of white teeth below, and Daryl knew Beth was without a doubt irritated about something. _

_ “I don’t like this plan.” _

_ Her words, for all they were spoken far below her usual musical tone, clocked him across the back of his skull nevertheless. Gaze snapping from her mouth to where she was focusing just as fiercely onto him, he felt his face twist in surprise and irritation before he could manage to think through what she’d said. Though, after he got that chance, he was still left confused as fuck and let it color his voice and face all it wanted.  _

_ The fuck did she mean? She didn’t like the goddamn plan? How was there a choice? _

_ “Why?” he asked, but it had too much twang and he knew they were about to get into it from the way her jaw clenched and that stubborn ass chin ticked up at him in defiance. _

_ Distantly, too distant to do any good, he was telling himself to remember who the hell he was talking to. There was no way Beth would be second guessing him if she didn’t really see something fundamentally wrong with what had been said. And all that besides, this was his girl, the one he’d trudged through Georgia woods with during the end of the world – the one he’d scooped up all prince charming style in an old funeral home just to see her smile. She’d been the one to hug, kiss, fuck, and love him while everything was dying around them. The one that might even be carrying his kid in her stomach right now, and regardless, wouldn’t hesitate to ream his ass if she thought he needed it. _

_ But the longer they went without replenishing the pantry at Alexandria, the more he felt like a pacing creature. Something half rabid with desperation, and one that’d do whatever it took to take care of what was his. So that distant part of him, that little logical fucker, was being far quieter than the fanged and clawed thing that did nothing but dig at him and growl.  _

_ Did she really have to do this shit now? Pull him to the side once they’d gotten done with that limp-dicked fuck – Gregory – and have this little powwow?  _

_ He’d gotten too used to it apparently, to them being on the exact same letter, let alone the same page. Now they weren’t on the same goddamn book, and with everything else, he was finding the experience more than jarring and unsettling. She’d been the last one he’d been worried about needing to convince. This was just like the Wolves, she got that, had to. When it came down to it, they were both the people that understood what needed to be done.  _

_ Didn’t they? _

_ “We don’t know anything about these people,” she answered, voice dropping further and flicking a quick look behind him and back. _

_ “Which ones?” he prodded, feeling his irritation with her climb exponentially when she rolled her eyes at him. “Ain’t you the one? Said this Jesus fucker was alrigh’? Tellin’ me that Beth Greene radar is broke or somethin’?” _

_ Anyone else, they’d have crossed their arms, took a step away from him with how snappy he was getting, how thick his accent was pouring past his lips, but not her – oh no. Beth leaned  _ into _ him, arms hanging at her sides, but flexing as her hands fisted. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Did she want to fucking starve? Didn’t she get what could happen to her, to everyone they loved, if things didn’t change and quick? _

_ “I think Jesus is fine,” she said, clearly trying to keep quiet and calm, which somehow pissed him off more. “I think we can all tell that that Gregory guy isn’t worth followin’. What I’m really meanin’ is that this group we’re supposed to be goin’ up against is a’ threat we know nothin’ about.” _

_ “Hilltop’s got the info-” _

_ “They got a’ general idea about where this base is and what to expect  _ at best _ , Daryl c’mon.” Her eyes watched someone he couldn’t see pass behind him, and then she continued. “What’s this Negan guy even  _ look _ like? How do we know there aren’t more guys than what they’re expectin’ or other bases even?” _

_ It was his turn to close some more of the already small distance between them, feeling the pressure in his throat from his struggle not to raise his volume to a crowd-gathering degree. _

_ “Jesus fuckin’ Christ Beth, whada’ya want huh? Blueprints, pictures, and a’ goddamn itemized list of things to fuckin’ expect?” _

_ “I  _ want _ ,” she hissed, not retreating an inch, “somethin’ more than a’ halfcocked suicide mission that’s gonna include me an’ just about every person I care about killing an entire building full of people.” _

_ If he was being honest with himself, which he tried not to do during intense situations, he was a bit hurt that she didn’t seem to be in any way supporting him on this. A sure sign he was getting way too comfortable in their fucking relationship, this kind of shit never would have fazed him in the past.   _

_ “If it’s a stupid fuckin’ idea,” he gritted out between clenched teeth. “Then why didn’t ya say somethin’ in  _ there _?” _

_ She looked at him like he’d called her a name, or confessed to cheating on her or something. _

_ “I’d never do that to ya in front of strangers Daryl.” _

_ He scoffed, the air rushing out of him, and ignored the way she flinched at the sound. _

_ “Nah, go ahead, tell ‘em. An’ when we run it by everyone back home, you be sure to tell them too alright?” Her face was twisting until he could catch a glimpse of her teeth and her eyes were half their usual size as she narrowed them at him. “But when the shit goes down some of us are gonna have t’ do what’s needin’ done.” _

_ She’d been slightly shaking her head through everything he said, and his volume had climbed with each side-to-side motion, a whisper in name only, it had to be easily carrying all the way down the hallway. There were people watching them now, he could feel it, but like as it always was with Beth – he was completely locked onto her. _

_ “I’m not sayin’ anythin’ ta’ anyone but you about it,” she answered like he should know it already. “An’ don’t you even think about talkin’ like  _ I’m _ not one a’ them ’s gonna be gettin’ their hands dirty. Not after the Wolves, don’t you treat me like I don’t know.” _

_ He suddenly felt the need to puke, his stomach rolled hard and he didn’t know how the hell they’d jackknifed so hard into this argument. There was a niggling suspicion that it was his fault, but he was too far in it now to back up – didn’t know how – and that ranging beast in him had been looking for something to lash out at. But it wasn’t supposed to have been this way.  _

_ Was it? _

_ Fuck no – _

_ He’d been snuggled up next to her on one of the seats in the RV on the ride to the Hilltop. Not holding her hand or wrapped around he or anything, but they’d had their heads tipped together, talking the whole way after picking up the doctor, about finally being able to get some solid answers… _

_ He got flashes of red, and the sounds of gunshots cracked his eardrums open.  _

_ “Yer not comin’,” he spat, watching her whole body tense up. “Nah, fuck that, if it’s such a’ shit plan, best ya stay back home.” _

_ “These people-” and now he wasn’t the only one not trying to keep their voice down, but he didn’t even think about letting her finish.  _

_ Didn’t want to hear Morgan’s or even her daddy’s kumbaya, live and let live, all God’s children, bullshit right now. He wanted to get away. Wanted to put some distance between them, so that he could get a severe fucking handle on himself and quit hurting her and pissing her off like he was. Wanted too, to shake the audience he could feel heating up his back all the way up to his ears, and thrash the thing in him until it laid the fuck down. _

_ “Kill  _ kids _ Beth.” _

_ “Exactly!” she snapped, and they were all but nose to nose at this point, though he couldn’t remember how or when that’d happened. “They  _ kill _ kids without any worry about people comin’ after them for it.” He opened his mouth to bite something back, but got distracted by her finger in his face. “I am not staying back when it happens.” _

_ “The hell you ain’t.” _

_ He vaguely wondered how it was possible to both know how badly you were fucking up while simultaneously barreling towards the fucking up at full steam ahead. Knew he’d sure as shit got there though, when Beth Greene,  _ his _ Beth Greene – girl that barely found reason to so much as cuss during the goddamn apocalypse – all but snarled into his face before spinning on her heel and striding away. _

_ “ _ Fuck you _ Daryl Dixon.” _

_ Not letting her out-tantrum him, he turned and strode off in the other direction, roughly passing by all the bodies that got in his way and doing so quickly, so he couldn’t come to his senses and chase after her. _

_ He tore blindly through the building, succeeding only in getting himself lost… _

_ That wasn’t right – he’d made it out – paced up and down a section of the Hilltop’s wall until Rick had come and gotten him. It had taken a long time to calm down enough to get into the RV and head back to Alexandria – he’d been so screwed up in his head he’d barely processed Maggie’s ultrasound and… _

_ But looking around now, he was trapped in the big house, doors all around him that only led to another and another and another. Rooms full of beds. Rooms full of bodies. Full of walkers. Full of decay and mold that made him hack like hell. Panic was festering like all the black and spreading rot was throughout the house. He couldn’t seem to gain an inch on it, no matter how many hallways and areas he sprinted through.  _

_ There was screaming. _

Beth.

_ The next room had windows, and Daryl barely stopped his forward momentum, just managing to not crash through it. Finding her instantly in the courtyard, bent over on her knees, and clutching protectively at her midriff, he slammed a fist into the transparent barrier between them. The angle was off, he couldn’t see her face, but somehow he didn’t need to. Knew that it would be flushed and tear streaked, didn’t see mouth opening any of the times she whipped her neck around – searching – but knew anyway that it was her that was screaming.  _

_ His name warbled out with the next shot of hoarfrost that her throat shredding cries sent ripping down his spine. And now he did throw himself at the panes of glass that separated them, his own desperate yells trying to reach her until his body could. The window was too strong. It wouldn’t shatter –  _ tempered _ – clicked through his mind and an image of Beth naked and glowing a blissed-out rose color in their bathroom crashed through his mind. Finger drawn wings on a frosted pane of glass where he’d pressed her and thrusted until he’d thought they’d both die. _

_ And she was still screaming. _

_ There was a terrible taste in his mouth, coppery, like he’d hollered his throat bloody in frustration. She turned toward him, terrified, too wide eyes passing over him again and again like she couldn’t see him slamming himself senseless against the window trying to get to her. A horror so acute it froze him solid hit when he saw the dribbling bits of color edge out from her hairline. Beth shuddered from some unknown force, and the dribbling became a steady flow all down her face and into the wet earth underneath her.  _

_ Someone was hurting her – _

_ No. _

_ Someone was killing her. _

_ “Daryl.” _

_ He shouldn’t have been able to hear her.  _

_ She wasn’t able to scream anymore. _

_ Could see her lips move though – and they tried so hard to do it again… _

“Daryl.”

He jumped awake, pain lancing through his back and hips, and looked around wildly for whoever had spoken his name. For, who he was so certain, was Beth, until his blurry eyes focused on Carol. Her silent form in front of him, she waited while he caught his breath. Had to catch it, the fucker was escaping him repeatedly without delivering the oxygen his body needed. The two watched each other wordlessly, nodding almost in unison when he was able to get a little more control.

But only a little.

The panic of the memory-turned-nightmare was still pumping a scary amount of adrenaline throughout his body and he needed, with an unspeakable urgency, to see her. See Beth not broken and bloody, she could hate him for all he cared right now, as long as her eyes were filled with that instead of blood and terror. 

Swallowing down an influx of saliva that was too acidic to be safe, he blinked away from the woman inches from him, to the two double doors set further back on the front porch than the main entrance. Hoping to be able to catch a glimpse of her maybe, through a window, hear a lilting tune or something to calm his rabbiting nerves. There was no one there though, no sweet voice to reassure him of her safety. 

Almost everything in him hurt, nearly two weeks out on the front porch had wrecked him more than he’d thought possible. 

Would have been better off sleeping out behind the house on the grass, but couldn’t seem to get quite that far away. Easier to keep tabs on everyone from his current placement too, which was necessary, since most of the family had agreed he was being a prick and wasn’t talking to him much. Well, that, and he had been in a pretty volatile mood since the attack on the Savior base. So a lot of that, the not talking, might be his fault too. Really shouldn’t surprise him as much as it did at this point.

“You think maybe your pride could handle a move to the couch?” she questioned, face straight but something sparkly in her gaze telling him she found his idiocy amusing. Grunting a noncommittal reply, Daryl got achingly to his feet, feeling too shaky and vulnerable to stay sitting. “Or better yet,” she chirped, with false cheer, “you could pull your head from your ass and say sorry like a big boy.”

“Cute,” he grumbled, throwing a glare at her that she easily shrugged off. “How is she?”

“Not telling.” Carol gave another uncaring twitch of her thin shoulders when he shook his head at her in irritation. “Hate to break it to you honey, but no one’s willing to do anything that might prolong this fight between the two of you. Which includes spying on her and reporting back to you.” 

Christ, he’d like a cigarette right about now.

“Lil’ Asskicker would do it for me,” he muttered darkly, focusing on his breathing while stretching out his stiffened muscles. At Carol’s wry smirk he slid his gaze away, feeling nearly strung out from the nightmare and this sudden uncomfortable conversation. “That woman’s as likely to shank me, as speak to me.”

“Wow,” she replied, somewhere between awed and dumbfounded. “You are  _ such _ a baby.”

“Fuck off.” His grumbling probably did little to change her view, but he didn’t have the capacity to care much about that at the moment. “What the hell did ya want?”

“You ever wonder why I never seemed surprised about you guys getting together?”

“Nah,” he answered, rifling vainly through his pockets for smokes that were no longer there, and hadn’t been for a while. “Jus’ grateful none a’ y’all tried talkin’ about it to me.” He shot another narrow eyed look at her. “Should’a known that shit was too good to last.”

“You know, for a person who doesn’t like losin’ people, you’re treating the person you’d want to lose least  _ really _ shitty.” Daryl’s whole frame locked up, his nightmare flooding back through him just as he’d somewhat managed to get things back to baseline. “It was the clearest thing I’ve ever seen,” she told him unwaveringly, eyes honed in on him even as he refused to return the look, “how much you loved her. Moment you saw that Grady car, it was like everything lit up in you again.”

“Jus’ wanted her back,” he said, needing suddenly to escape the close quarters of the porch. His descent down the stairs sent varying waves of pain through his body, but he grunted his way through it and made his way to his newly reacquired bike. She followed behind him, arms loosely crossed. “How’ve ya been since-”

“Fine,” she answered, way too quickly, mouth pulling to one side when their eyes met.

“What’d they do to ya?” 

He didn’t know why he asked, a lot of the time none of them wanted to talk about the psyche obliterating shit they’d went through, and so it was understood that no one asked. But Carol had seemed almost as off to him lately as he was feeling himself, and it made him wonder just how right Beth had been about the attack in general. 

It sure as fuck didn’t feel like they’d won – full pantry or no.

“To us? They didn’t do anything.” 

Not wanting to press it any further, he began rifling through the saddle bags on his bike. Things had been insanely busy since the incident with the Saviors, and he hadn’t found a moment to check things out properly. Been too busy running supplies between settlements, doing perimeter checks, and scavenger runs – hell, he’d even camped out around the decimated base to see if any stragglers made their way back. In all goddamn honesty, he’d done anything he could in order to not sit and stew over how things were with Beth.

Each bag he pawed through was devoid of cigarettes, including the small new one tucked up into the frame that contained a whittled soldier. Tossing the thing aside, he sighed, but the early morning caught in his throat making it sound more like a purring growl. An echo of the sound came from Carol who, once he’d glanced up at her, tossed him her pack before turning and walking away without another word. 

Biting his bottom lip, Daryl looked at the half empty pack of smokes, eyes ticking back up to his friend’s retreating form. It really did not feel like they’d won a damn thing. Normally he’d say it was the price of survival, the haunted and broken looks he was seeing on so many faces. But it wasn’t just that. His gut was telling him there was something wrong, and while it was probably to do with Beth, it didn’t strike him as the  _ only _ thing gnawing at him. 

They hadn’t seen that big blond fuck at the Savior base, him or his woman, and yet Daryl’s bike had been there. Now it was quite possible that the degenerate bunch that’d slapped up Polaroids of smashed up victims, had turned them both into so much mincemeat – that they weren’t his problem anymore.

But fuck if he doubted he was that lucky.

He was still staring at the red and white packaging of the cigarettes, but all he could really see were those broken bloody remains that had once been people – once been skulls and hair and faces of survivors that’d fought and loved and done all that him and his were trying to do now.

Of Beth hunched over and –

“Fuck this,” he breathed out, shoving the pack into his pocket and then walking to the steps and taking them two at a time to the front door. 

It was early. She might still be in bed. He hadn’t seen her around much, and every time that he did made him hate himself just a little bit more. Because there hadn’t been not a single occurrence when she hadn’t looked exhausted, and that was something he didn’t have to guess the why or how for. He knew the look of sleep deprivation incredibly well, mostly because he saw it any time he was unlucky enough to catch sight of his own reflection.

Moving without a sound through the noiseless household, he was hit with a balled up combination of homesickness and nostalgia when he found himself outside their bedroom door. Daryl pushed it open, heart residing next to his Adam’s apple, and leaned in a little to get an eye on the bed. 

There she was.

Tucked up in the fetal position, still dressed in jeans with her knife on the bedside table, and all of a sudden it was all he could do to breathe and keep the moisture from his eyes. Sliding into the room, he moved until he was easing himself down on what  _ had been _ his side of the mattress. There was no question that he’d be willing to wait for however long it took for her to wake up, but something told him that she’d gained consciousness the moment his ass touched the comforter. So then it was the waiting, the patience to see how she took it, his being here.

It was up to him to apologize.

Fuck, as far as he knew she hadn’t done a thing wrong. He’d just let shit overwhelm him and had gone and bit the hand that’d fed him. Like he’d experienced previously, it came down to the not knowing. Hating that more than he could begin to explain. Not just about her or the baby (if there was one) but also about the Saviors and his family’s level of safety and all the rest. There was a constant state of uncertainty, and usually he’d have just been able to roll with it. Adapt. Survive. Keep on going. But now there was her, their family, and there was just so much more to lose now. Far more than he’d had before the world ended.

Daryl came out of these thoughts when he felt the slightest pressure on his back, moving in a steady sweep down. In the next second he realized she’d edged close enough to trace the outline of the wings on his back, and any air that’d been in his lungs pushed out of him hard and quick. Spine bowed, he dedicated all of his senses and focus to the barely there warmth that sent shivers throughout his entire frame. When she’d made the entire circuit around, she seemed fine with repeating the track again without a word.

“M’sorry.”

The movement stopped for an unbearable moment, and then he could feel the more solid weight of her palm pressed into one of his wings.

“I know.”

Relief didn’t lighten the heaviness of his bones, until Beth was sinking barely warmed fingers around the collar of his vest and shirt, pulling with a stubborn firmness until he relented and lay back on the bed – boots and all. It took her all of a millisecond to adhere herself to his side, throwing an arm and leg over him and nuzzling into his chest as his own arm curved around her and held her tight. 

The question he shouldn’t have needed to ask, the answer to which he should have been present for back at the Hilltop, was doing its best to choke him. It was his own fault for not knowing if he was going to be a dad or not. But he didn’t want her to think that was the only reason he’d apologized. Didn’t want her to think he wasn’t worried about it either but…he could feel the languid state of her body against his. The woman probably just wanted some decent sleep before they got into the whole,  _ what the fuck was wrong with him _ , conversation.

“Ya took  _ so _ long,” she said through a yawn, feeling as though she was doing her level best to melt right the fuck into him. 

“Long as it wasn’t  _ too _ long,” he replied quietly, his voice coming out all charred bark and worry, under his own heavy dose of tiredness.

“Never too long,” Beth sighed, squeezing him slightly. “You’re Daryl, never thought you’d do something in anythin’ other than your own time.” He flexed his hold on her until she hummed her appreciation, feeling warm, safe, and blessedly undamaged when she did.

They lay there for a while, each collection of minutes passing with him in continuous amazement that she hadn’t drifted off to sleep as he held her.

That he hadn’t either.

“Hey Beth?”

They both jumped and cast wary glances at the voice coming from the other side of the bedroom door. He’d gone and gotten his hopes up. Thinking that just maybe they’d get a chance for some truly restful shuteye, and  _ then _ they could work on talking shit out. But Rick’s tone was both urgent and apologetic in its own right as he knocked softly. 

“Yeah?” she asked, and Daryl couldn’t help the way he hugged her once more against his ribs. 

It sounded like not only was she as disappointed as he was with whatever Rick had yet to say, but there was a kind of defeat there that he didn’t like. Like she’d known they wouldn’t get the time they wanted.

Maybe he’d been too late after all.

“I hate to ask you this,” Rick said, really quietly, and Daryl could almost see the guilty bow of his brother’s head as he continued. “But have ya seen him? Denise is askin’ for him, and his bike’s here but no one seems to know where he is.”

“Some things really don’t change,” she muttered against his chest, blonde hair tickling his chin as she pushed herself to a sitting position. “G’on, we’ll talk whenever ya get done.”

It was the first good look he’d gotten of her and it did little to encourage him into doing anything other than staying right the hell where he was.

“You sure?” he questioned, not moving a muscle even as they heard Rick shift his weight uncertainly. 

The corners of her mouth twitched and then she bent down to cover his mouth with hers. 

She’d probably meant it to be quick – just a small brush to solidify their truce – but he lost the ability to control the arm that came up to curve around her and hold her there. That, or the hand that sunk into the static fuzzed waves of her hair. He wasn’t ballsy enough to deepen it, to slide a tongue against giving lips and try to get them both lost for a while. Her allowing him to drag it out was enough, her leaning into it and moving against his mouth with soft presses and little tugs of her lips was far more than he deserved.

When he relaxed his grip, Beth rested her forehead against his for just a moment before drawing back and letting him roll to his feet. The look of surprise on Rick’s face when he yanked open the door would have been funny as fuck if he hadn’t been so comfortable in bed with his girl until the other man had showed up. 

Even though they were eventually going to have to do that talking thing that he hated _so_ _much_ , if it got them back to the way they were, he looked forward to the awkward sentences and face burning flushes.

Rick filled him in on what Denise wanted to do. 

A run.

Not much of a problem, since they needed the medicine and apparently the place they were looking to scavenge from was some small time apothecary that hopefully hadn’t been picked clean yet. At least it wouldn’t have been a problem, had he been able to handle it the normal way. Taking the people he’d wanted, like hell, he could have asked  _ Beth _ to tag along. It would have given them the perfect chance to talk on the way there, but no, the doctor wanted him and Rosita to go for some damn reason.

Later – after they’d gotten what they needed and were headed back. When she was explaining to them, on the train tracks that would have eventually lead them to the road to Alexandria, why she’d chosen them and what she herself had been going through. He’d only gotten a  _ moment _ to process her telling him that he reminded her of her brother, to feel the guilt, because he hadn’t known she’d looked at him in such an affectionate way – when that arrow had punched itself right through her eye.

Dwight.

That was the fucker’s name. 

Who had stolen his bike and his bow, had taken him and shoved a gun in his face. The one he’d fucking  _ saved _ only to be robbed and left in a burnt out forest. His name was Dwight. And it hadn’t been  _ Denise _ he’d been aiming for, with the shot that had killed her all the same. 

The resulting chaos with Eugene and Abraham, with their group making it back to Alexandria, was a haze he could barely see through. All he could think about was that the piece of shit that had pushed the first domino of him doubting himself had gotten away. Reclaiming his bow didn’t have the satisfaction it should have. Not since it’d been used to murder the woman that had only felt safe going outside of the Safe Zone with him in tow. Not when he hadn’t gotten the chance to payback the deed.

Everything was quiet as he buried her. 

Beth breaking through the trees at the beginning of the process, panic clearly receding once she saw he was alright. Physically at least. She helped him dig, helped drop the body into place and cover it back up. All in silence and for that he was thankful, because he wasn’t close to trusting himself being capable of not fucking up all over again. He could tell she had so many things she wanted to tell him, things that were kind but untrue. Like it wasn’t his fault, or that Denise wouldn’t want him to blame himself. But Beth really did know him, and kept it all to herself as they finished up, as they looked at the small mound of earth amongst so many others…and walked away.

He tried to stay put.

To focus on the fact that he’d slept in his bed, Beth snuggly pressed the length of his torso, his hand cradled in both of hers. But even though he was too far past exhausted to see it anymore, he couldn’t sleep. Listened to the calming breaths from her, felt her heartbeat tick against his chest. When the morning came, he waited for her to toss and turn like she always did, and climbed to his feet the first chance he got. Snatching his boots off the floor, he was vaguely glad he’d decided to sleep in his clothes, and headed out of the house.

He had to get that sonofabitch.

Maybe if Glenn or Michonne had thought to wake Beth up when they came with Rosita to try and talk him out of it. Maybe  _ she _ could have talked him into coming home. He didn’t know why they didn’t, only knew that short of her screaming or sobbing at him to listen, there was nothing going to make him give up the hunt for that lanky haired prick. So when they tried, it was hard but not impossible for him to not do what they wanted, to keep on the trail and slowdown only long enough for Rosita’s equally pissed off ass to catch up with him.

But then the Savior’s tracks led them back and around, ending with a tied up Glenn and Michonne – and Dwight with a gun to his back. 

“Hi Daryl.” 

The voice was a level of bullshit cockiness that made him grunt mildly in annoyance. He dropped his bow to an unthreatening level, and turned to look at the asshole that had managed to sneak up on him – and promptly got shot at point blank range. Agony burst like a migraine throughout his entire body, but he bit back the groan that tried to roll its way out of his lungs.

“You’ll be alright.”

_ Fucking reassuring, you piece of shit.       _

Everything after that was jostled levels of pain. They were moved into the back of a van and driven somewhere they couldn’t see, even with the multiple bullet holes in the vehicles back doors.

He blacked out at some point.

Only coming to when someone touched him, whispering in low voices, making sure he hadn’t bled out yet. His shoulder was all exploded nerve endings, but it felt like a through and through as far as he was conscious enough to tell. The day swung on and it felt like the Saviors were driving them all the way back to fucking Georgia with how long they were in the confines of the van for. 

It got dark at last. 

The heat abated some, which was a fucking mercy, considering the continuous stinging from salty sweat getting into his gunshot wound was going to drive him crazier than the heat itself. Light spilled through the many small openings all at once, and Daryl came back to himself even though he didn’t remember passing out again. Thank fucking Christ he hadn’t died and turned while his family was locked inside this perfect death trap with him. A thin silver lining, but it was all he had to work with. 

Someone was talking out there, but he couldn’t catch any of it.

Dwight opened the doors and blinded him with the glare of a car’s headlights. He was then pulled from the vehicle, and the man was saying something smartass before pushing Daryl easily down to a kneeling position. Sight was a thing that was a problem, he blinked and swayed, trying to grasp what the fuck was going on. People, a startling amount of them, were ranged everywhere his wobbling gaze went. There were other people on their knees too, and he inherently knew he had to wake the fuck up, at least a little bit.

This was bad.

Terminus level bad, and if he didn’t get his goddamn head together –

Adrenalin pulsed through him weakly when Glenn’s voice registered and Daryl was able to link the word with why it was a terrible thing to be hearing at this moment.

“Maggie?”

That couldn’t be right.

Maggie was safe back home with the rest of them, where’d he left them all earlier today. Like Glenn, Michonne, and Rosita  _ would be _ if they’d stayed their asses there instead of following him. She  _ couldn’t _ be here, he reasoned with a painful slowness as he tried to bring the people down the line into focus. Couldn’t, because she was pregnant and still recovering from the last fight, and if she were here then –

“Daryl?”

His nightmare swamped him, and this time the adrenaline was a straight rush that brought everything into a dire focus. They were almost all of them in a line leading away from him. She was there. Why  _ the fuck _ was Beth on her knees with that same terrified expression that he’d hoped never to see in real life on her face? There was a movement and both she and Glenn got hauled back onto their knees after trying to move. 

Daryl’s guts were cinched up against his ribs, trying their best to migrate out the gaping hole in his shoulder. 

“All right!” a man said loudly, like he was speaking to some kind of paying audience. “We got a full boat.” He rocked back a step and raised a fist to the RV behind him. “Let’s meet the man,” he continued, sounding just as enthusiastic, and then knocked a few loud raps next to the vehicle’s door.  

A big guy was moseying his way down the steps, with what looked like a baseball bat resting on one shoulder, and once again Daryl was reminded of all those Polaroids they’d seen. Scruffy and with a grin, the man eyed them all for only a beat, his teeth flashing through the dark when he began speaking.

“Pissing our pants yet?” he asked, taking a few steps forward. “Boy, do I have a feeling we’re gettin’ close.”

The temperature had dropped even more, must have, because as the leader started his monologue about how  _ fuckin’ cool he was _ and how scared they should be, Daryl’s newly returned vision could see the small billow of steam that came out with each sentence. He watched the guy, who introduced himself as  _ the _ Negan, through the long sweat soaked mats of his hair. His muscles were trembling, which was not good, and he was having a mildly hard time understanding what the fucker was saying – which was worse. 

He’d been beaten bloody before, been shot before too, and he’d learned through the long painful training of his childhood to pay attention to body language if nothing else was making sense. He snatched a few bone trembling looks at Beth, her blonde hair was alight with the different beams of headlights that were being shined on them. Their eyes met a couple of times, when they both weren’t tracking what Negan was doing and saying, and he watched her receding into herself.

Good.

Didn’t have the time or luxury to worry about her not being able to fight her way back out of the fog that had gotten its hooks into her at Grady, the one that’d never really left her. She’d need it, if shit went the way he was thinking it was going to, and it might just keep her alive through whatever was going to happen. He just needed her, needed them both, to wait until there was actually some kind of opening. If there was none, well they might be forced to see where this new nightmare was taking them until something could be done.

“Now,” Negan said, after finishing his little preliminary speech and getting the fuck on with it. “Usually, we like to have a little bit of an  _ exhibition _ as it were, at the beginning of our agreements with new settlements.  _ For the purposes _ of makin’ sure that everyone gets how this new way of things is gonna be goin’ down.”  His shit eating grin made it clear that they would  _ not _ enjoy the kind of show he was describing. “And for you all, this should be  _ twice as important _ to do, considering just how many of my guys  _ you killed _ .”

Even though he knew it wasn’t physically possible in his current condition to win, Daryl was readying his body for an attack. If Negan’s barbed wire wrapped bat went anywhere  _ near _ Beth in a threatening way…it wasn’t in him not to try and stop it.

“But,” the man said with a shrug and another wide smile. “I get the idea that if I kill one of you, it might not be the motivator to the rest like it usually is. Ya see when most of the people working for me watch one of theirs get the hell beat out of ‘em, it straightens their priorities out  _ real quick _ . From what my men tell me though, you all have apparently  _ seen some shit _ , the kind that’d make you just as likely to become  _ more _ instead of  _ less _ difficult to work with.”

Negan’s eyes swept the line of them. Something about the look on Daryl’s face made the other man pause, his smile growing a little more devilish before going on.

“So then what am I left with? Could kill you all.” The bat swung in a lazy motion off of his shoulder as he idly paced back and forth in front of them. “But then I wouldn’t get my shit, and since I’m not lookin’ to  _ grow shit _ , or  _ scavenge shit _ , that doesn’t work for any of us now  _ does _ it?”

He let this settle in some as he lifted the bat back onto his shoulder.

“No damn it, we’re gonna try something  _ new _ , now I might end up regretting it, and if I do I’m  _ sure _ we can meet like this again and I can take care of things the old way. Instead of whooping one or two of your asses with Lucille here,” he motioned to the weapon in his hand, “which is a crying shame. Because she. Is.  _ Awesome _ .” Negan gave them all a moment to appreciate his girl, and Daryl wondered if maybe this guy wasn’t as cracked as the Governor had been. “ _ Instead _ of that though, I’m just gonna take a few of you with me. That way, about the time some of the  _ rest of you _ think about raisin’ hell, or not getting me what’s mine, I won’t have  _ already killed _ the only  _ sad excuse _ you had for staying alive and behaving yourselves.” 

A deeper silence settled on the group as his smile curled and widened once more.

“Now,  _ am I not _ just the nicest sonofabitch y’all have ever met?” No one responded, which he played at being offended at, all the while keeping his grin firmly in place. “Alright, let’s see, who to take? I mean,  _ obviously _ , my first impression is to steal away some of your ladies here.” Daryl’s teeth slammed together to keep the growl at bay, watching as the leather jacket wearing fuck winked at Rick. “But I’d hate to give you the wrong idea about me, first impressions are important, so let’s see what we’ve got here.”

He took his time going back and forth, making a show of considering each of them in turn. His trek stopped at Eugene and he sighed.

"I'd like to add you to the party at the Sanctuary, Mr. Mullet, but I  _ gotta _ take the ones people give a shit for, and unless I am very much mistaken you're not one of those." Negan checked for an answer, his face comically quizzical. "Am I wrong?"

"We care about  _ all _ of our people," Rick answered, voice hoarse, and Daryl could tell their leader was about to break.

"That's a no then," Negan replied, moving down the line. "Is this your kid, Rick? Oh this is  _ definitely _ your kid. He's comin' with me for sure-"

"Stop this!"

Daryl almost cringed at the desperation he heard in his brother's voice. It wasn't a good idea to show unrestrained emotion to a man like this one, to men like those that surrounded them. Not that he could blame Rick, there was an unmitigated panic ripping through each of Daryl's laboring organs. Every single place inside him that Beth had managed to twine herself around, and piece of flesh that she'd touched, was screaming at him to do something that would save her.

"Hey!" Negan shouted, just as loudly but clearly in more control. "I've  _ got _ to pick the little future serial killer! You made this one easy on me Ricky. What better way to keep your pansy ass in line then to keep this scary little fuck with me?"

Daryl blanked out of the next bit of torturous dialogue. Negan seemed equal parts interested and disturbed by Carl, prodded at him to get a reaction without success. Daryl decided to take another quick moment to glance at Beth, his vision sparked along the edges, and he swore to whatever piece of shit deity listening – that he'd kick his own ass about the time he passed out in the middle of all this. She wasn't looking at him at first, but some sixth sense maybe kicked in and her gaze snapped over to his mechanically.

_ Nothing _ .

He tried telling her that he was alright, was with her, but didn't think she got any of it. That nightmare might still have been fucking with him, because Daryl could have sworn that the only thing he could pick up from her - was screaming. None of it touched the smooth expanse of her face, and he knew if anyone else looked at her, they'd see a freakishly calm young woman blinking mildly back at them.

But the screaming didn't stop in his head, not until she'd looked away from him.

The leather clad sadist had moved farther down the line. Daryl hadn't heard all of what was said, but from the almost guilty look on Aaron's face, he figured Negan had decided to pass on taking him to the Sanctuary like he had with Eugene. That made the next person to be considered Sasha. Abraham straightened himself up, and Daryl tensed in preparation, if the crazy motherfucker was going to try something it was as good a time as any for Daryl to do the same. Beth was only a few spots down, and he highly doubted this prick in front of them wasn’t going to try and take her.

His girl was small boned and pretty, perfect type to hold as ransom.

"What about you beautiful?" he purred charismatically, head tipped to one side considering Sasha carefully. "Who cares about you?"

"I do," Abraham answered, voice booming in the dark.

Negan looked genuinely shocked when he saw who had spoken, eyes resting on each of them for several moments before speaking again to Sasha.

"Is that right? Big Red over there?  _ Seriously _ ?" At her answering nod, he let out a barking laugh. "Well hot damn, good for you Red. I mean,  _ I do not get that shit at all _ , but hell that really ain't the point now is it?" Daryl had no idea when  _ that _ particular development had went down, he could almost feel Rosita's incredulous look next to him. "Beautiful, you probably just saved your man's life, because just  _ lookin' _ at him, I can tell he's wantin' to be a pain in my ass."

Making his way over, Negan squinted his eyes playfully at Abraham, who looked about ready to surge to his feet and throttle the other man.

"Abraham." Sasha's voice pulled most everyone's attention to her, and she shook her head at him hard and only once.

It did the job though, even though they could all see him just about break his jaw with how hard he clenched his teeth, he settled back on his haunches with his eyes still locked on Negan.

"Good boy," the man said, an edge of velvet danger in his tone. There was a loud sniffling sound and Negan's attention got snapped back down the line to where Maggie kneeled between Rick and Beth. "Jesus." The sick awe in the bastard’s voice made Daryl really look at Maggie for the first time, a weight like river stone dropped hard into his gut at her pallor. "You look  _ shitty _ . Maybe we don't gotta go through all this run around after all huh? Wanna save us the time?  _ Take one for the team? _ Maybe I should just put you out of your misery right now."

There was a desperate scrabbling nearby and Daryl looked over in time to see Glenn claw his way across the gravel.

"No! No!" his voice cracked as blows from their captors slammed him into the ground.

"Nope," Negan said disapprovingly. "Nope, get him back in line." A few of the Saviors did as directed while Glenn made sounds that ratcheted Daryl's ribs right into his shuddering heart. A few groaned pleas were met with an equal number of bemused chuckles from Negan. "All right, listen. Don't any of you do that again. I will  _ shut that shit down _ , no exceptions. First one's free. It's an emotional moment, I get it." He clicked his teeth and fixed Glenn with a look. "You're coming too, and I  _ know _ you don't want to, but not only do I  _ not care _ , I'll remind you that the longer you bitch and complain about it, the longer it takes  _ her _ to get back home to see whatever shit show doctor you all probably got."

Daryl hated him. 

He'd hated his fair share of assholes in the past, but this prick had to be the absolute worst. Glenn was doing all he could to stifle the grief that was attempting to drown him, and all the while this smirking bastard was feeding and getting off on it.

"Now then, where the hell was I?" Negan asked, looking at Beth. It wasn't possible to stop the rasping breath that grated from his throat, and Daryl met laughing brown eyes before the man dismissed him and walked over to his girl. "And you sweetheart? Who cares about you?"

An almost unanimous answer rose throughout their group, to which Daryl's voice was one of many. A chorus of "I do" and "Me" filled the air with accompanying puffs of breath.

"Oh  _ fuck _ ," the Savior's leader said, appreciative in a way that made Daryl want to snap his neck. "You hear that boys? I went and found Alexandria's  _ lil' darlin' _ over here. Real prom queen type, bet you're the kind that the other ladies can't even manage to  _ hate _ ‘cause you're so sweet. Am I right?"

Beth only blinked emotionlessly at him, an animal waiting out the moves of a bigger predator. 

Negan's smile turned Cheshire once again, and he leaned down to murmur something to Beth that Daryl couldn't hear. But from the way Maggie stiffened, he was willing to beat the fucker to death with his own bat for whatever it was. His girl didn't answer, didn't even flinch, just returned the big man's gaze when he pulled back to look at her.

" _ Damn _ honey," he breathed, sucking slightly at his teeth with a clicking sound. "You married?"

Daryl was snarling silently, lips pulled back, he felt the cold air cling to the nerves in his teeth as his sleep and blood deprived body shook him down to the marrow. Still Beth didn't answer, but he could see the muscles in her throat work, and her lips part slightly as if she might.

"You  _ wanna _ be?" Negan tried again, grin going crooked before he laughed. "Damn it, there I go getting distracted. Women do it to me every time, don't they boys?" A general answering chuckle went through the Saviors – made Daryl want to throw up or hit something. "But what the hell am I thinkin'? Of course you got a guy."

All Daryl seemed capable of was a loud grunt, thankful in that moment that his habit and vocal chords made him sound like an irritable bull. Negan glanced at him before turning back to Beth, but now she'd switched her attention to Daryl and wasn't looking away.

"Oh my lord," the man stated, completely thrown. " _ What is up _ with this fuckin' settlement? I am in the  _ wrong _ goddamn place!" Shaking his head, Negan walked the few steps it took to reach him, sizing up him and Abraham as he did. "You dudes are the luckiest fucks I've seen this side of doomsday, you know that?"

Daryl glared at him without answering, there was a slight movement behind him and pain exploded in the back of his head closely followed by a blackening of his vision.

"He asked you a question."

Dwight's snarl was met with a low whistle from Negan.

"It was fuckin'  _ rhetorical _ Dwight, calm your tits would ya?  _ Jesus _ ." Daryl's sight cleared up in time to see brown eyes focus back onto him. "Man he just  _ really _ doesn't like you. You think he has a thing for your girl?” Negan teased, grin sliding back into place. “I mean since I know D like I do, I'd say no, but he  _ is _ gunnin' for you  _ real hard _ ."

When Daryl still refused to answer, the merest trace of irritation flashed in the other man’s eyes, but then that slipped away and his prior jovial look was back.

“You mind if I take your girl off your hands for a bit?” he asked, stroking up the bat’s length suggestively. “Show her a good time back at my place?”

More rolling gravel under heavy steps, but Daryl didn’t flinch, kept his eyes trained on the opponent in front of him as the steps stopped a way off to his left.

“Or hell, maybe she’ll help D here get back in the saddle again?”

“I’m sure we’d get along,” Dwight answered, and Daryl couldn’t stop his eyes as they tripped to where the gangly fuck stood behind Beth. 

He waited until Daryl was watching to wrap long fingers around her ponytail and yank her head straight back.

Flashing his gaze back to Negan, Daryl’s body coiled in on itself.

Negan winked.

Daryl sprung off the ground, arm lashing out with an aim that didn’t miss. Feeling a shot of satisfaction silence the jagged agony of his shoulder when scratching stubble and a decently sturdy jaw gave way against his fist. 

“Daryl! No!”

Too many voices tripping over one another, but he didn’t think he’d heard hers amongst them.

Many hands dragged him to the ground before he could do much else, and he lay under a combined weight, panting, until Dwight was suddenly shoving his own goddamn bow into his face. 

Negan was laughing quietly to himself – wiping the blood off the side of his mouth.

“Well, teenage dream over there ain’t with you for your smarts I can tell you  _ that shit _ right now.”

“Do you want me to do it?” Dwight asked, feeling like he was trying to shove Daryl through the Earth with how much pressure he was putting on the shoulder he’d already gone off and shot. “Right here.” 

Negan’s voice when he spoke, somehow managed to sound disappointed at the question.

“No, you don’t kill them, not until you try a little.”

_ Give it yer best swing, you fuck. _

“Well,” Negan continued, sounding impatient for about the first time. “I tried it the nice way, and what happens when you try to be nice? People take it as a goddamn invitation to slam their cock-jerkin’ hand into your face.” Daryl was dragged back into his spot in line, but he couldn’t stay up so they allowed him to kind of huddle on all fours. “So guess what that means…” There was a slight pause, and Daryl moved his sight up to see Negan’s confused face. “Hell’s his name?”

The Savior that introduced Negan at the beginning spoke up. “Daryl.”

“What that means  _ Daryl _ ,” the man in charge continued, “is that I have to do shit the old fashioned way  _ after all _ . And instead, of taking her and the others with me, I’m taking you and the others with me,  _ and _ …” Something flashed in the browns that’d suddenly turned black, and Daryl felt a truly desperate anxiety hit him, like he knew he was going to be wishing Negan’s bat had. “I’m gonna beat the blonde right outta that girl of yours, leave you with a  _ redhead _ , well, red anyway.” Those same sets of hands latched onto him and kept him down when he began struggling. “Did you really think I was going to take this sweet little lady somewhere and  _ rape _ her? Let my men  _ rape _ her?”

It was insane, how mad the man sounded, how  _ insulted _ .

“That hurts my feelings Daryl, and I don’t like that not one bit, and neither does Lucille here.” More men had to throw themselves onto his back and there noises he’d never known he could make tearing from his throat until he could taste blood. “Get him loaded up while I take care of this unfortunate and easily  _ goddamn avoidable _ bullshit. I’ve got a feeling he’s going to distract the others from this lesson I’m about to get elbow deep in.”

He was weightless and thrashing as they carried him to the van. His eyes locked on Negan’s jacketed form approaching Beth, saying something to her and the others that he couldn’t hear, and then he was raising the bat high up over his head.

The doors to the van slammed closed, and people were still pawing at his back and shoulders as he threw himself against the rough metal. 

There was a  _ thunking _ sound of impact and Maggie’s watery scream –

Another sharp blow to the back of his head, exploded flaring lights across the vehicle’s interior.

And all he knew was darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More notes: I'm so sorry. I know it's a dick move with the cliffhanger. Feel free to let me know your thoughts and I'll get back to you. But I'm not only sorry about the way the chapter ended but also, classes start again tomorrow and I don't know when I'll have time to get a new chapter of either story out.
> 
> And perhaps lastly, I am sorry for killing Denise. I know I said there wasn't going to be as much character death as there is in the show, which is still the case, but I never know who people are seriously attached to so I hope I didn't upset anyone too terribly much.
> 
> If anything about the chapter was confusing, don't hesitate to shoot questions my way. :D


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Hi guys! So that last chapter, what a crazy mess that was huh? Like I said in that chapter's A.N. I had those scenes in mind since before I started the fic, and since I knew what it would look like to an audience - I tried in my first A.N.'s to let everyone know I wasn't into major character death. From the comments I've been getting, obviously you people have been hurt before and weren't sure if you could believe me :) So here's the next chap, from Beth's POV, I got it done as swiftly as possible so the usual warnings apply.
> 
> Thanks to all of you who took the time to comment on that last update. I know it was kind of all over the place with how many scenes it jumped. It was an important chapter to me and to the story, and I really appreciate you guys sticking with both of us regardless.
> 
> Happy Reading!

**Chapter 32**

Her eyes burned nearly as badly as the multiple weeping tracks that wound down her forearm to her twitching knuckles. She traced Lucille’s form until it turned into Negan’s, ending finally with his eyes that glinted mischievously back at her. Daryl’s animalistic hollering had cut off with a quickness that shriveled her stomach, but she wouldn’t show it. Directly next to her, she could hear Maggie’s desperate attempts to hold in any other screams or cries that were attempting to make their way out. All Beth could focus on at the moment, was keeping any would-be tears in check until sometime later when she was alone. 

If ever.  

She wouldn’t weep now, men like Gorman, Negan, all of the other self-assured creeps that thought it was something novel for the mean and corrupt to be in power, nothing did it for them more than someone sobbing in one way or another. He wouldn’t get it, this new  _ big bad _ in their lives, she’d been training herself for a while now. The only man that was capable of eliciting that kind of response in her had just been carted away bleeding – and she was goddamned  _ positive _ she was going to return the favor to the men that’d done it. No doubt Daryl thought she was dead, or would soon, either through coercion or a guilty conscious.

It was about patience now.

“I think I got him,” Negan stage whispered, “do you?” Playing it on the safe side, Beth gave him what he wanted, basically, and nodded her head once. He seemed well enough appeased at the moment, probably congratulating himself on that little round of mental torture he’d delivered with so much enthusiasm. “Sweetheart, I bet you an’ him have some fuckin’  _ stellar _ conversations.”

There were a few murmurings from the Saviors that surrounded them, and Negan straitened up with a large smile in place. Noticing for the first time, or acting as if he was, that Lucille’s jagged perimeter had lacerated and slightly torn some of her skin open, and also, that she was freely bleeding onto the gravel below. 

“Oh shit darlin’ I’m sorry,” he said, considering the bat fondly. “Just couldn’t help but get yourself a taste of her,  _ could ya _ Lucille? Dirty girl, well I can’t blame you really.”

Beth didn’t think it was possible really, to put an even thicker set of boundaries between her and what was happening around her. But she felt next to nothing when he kept talking, when he dragged Rick into the RV and took him a few minutes after that to God only knew where, or when the remaining Saviors wouldn’t allow Glenn to go to Maggie – to let Maggie lean against anyone even as she worsened by trembling degrees. 

There was only a mild irritation at the situation in general. It was boring having to wait, it was obnoxious that Rick couldn’t manage a decent poker face long enough to get them out of this situation and into the next. 

Oddly enough she felt none of this impatience when it came to Daryl.

Now that she was able to finally realize what was happening to her and how to employ it the best way she could, Beth reflected calmly on what had just transpired and what planning was possible instead of wasting time seething at Daryl. Sure, her man should never have taken the bait that Negan and Dwight had so clearly, and almost ham-handedly, put in front of him. It very easily could have gotten her killed, and the reason it hadn’t was probably purely due to Negan’s interest in her. However, they’d been on the outs for nearly two weeks, he’d barely gotten done burying Denise, was low on sleep and blood. Daryl was without a doubt the most remarkable man she’d ever known, and while she thought of him as such in certain moments, he was not  _ in fact _ godlike. 

He’d cracked.

Happened to the best of them.

She had to use this detachment the best she could for as long as she could. It was good for her to have while everything was trying to spiral down into chaos around her. It’d keep her together. Beth knew it was possible for her to sit inside herself, almost sequestered in her own internal little farmhouse, untouched by what swirled around her. Watch, as the fog on the windows tried to push its way in and failed. It wasn’t like it had been the first time this had occurred, or even as it had been with the wolves, time and practice put up the necessary internal cover and she was bound and determined to use it.

If Rick would either pretend to, or actually become broken, then Negan would consider himself safe enough to continue with his plan. She was pretty sure he would take her with him, if his little whispered wonderings about what she  _ tasted like _ was anything to go off of. Interesting though, that the idea of nonconsensual intercourse had sounded truly distasteful to him, and that could  _ definitely _ be a good thing for her –  _ if _ he’d meant what he’d said. So that left how to successfully escape with Daryl and the rest of her family, without raining hell down on Alexandria and the Hilltop. 

_ This might take a lot of time for me to figure out.     _

Her mind clicked over mechanically to the next set of issues as the men around her spoke quietly to one another, and her sister’s breathing became more labored. Daryl had been seriously wounded, the amount of blood she’d seen wasn’t good, but if it had been anything  _ fatal _ she doubted even  _ he _ would have been able to put up the fight that he had. 

But then, that led to his sudden silence, which almost definitely told her they’d knocked him out – quickest way as Daryl had taught her – with a blow to the back of the head. He’d need the time it took her to formulate a plan just to heal up. He healed quickly usually, so that was a good thing, they must have access to decent medical care at the Sanctuary, and it wouldn’t make sense to let him die after all that effort…

Dwight.

Daryl would want to kill the guy himself, unfortunate, she’d really like to get a swing or two in for herself…Preferably while holding something sharp in her hand too. Best to play it by ear, not worth jeopardizing everything over, but he’d obviously been the one Daryl had told her about. He had a rather large tally in her mind, things he deserved a good ass-kicking for. Abducting her man, holding said man at gunpoint, stealing, murdering, assault – and he’d pulled her fucking hair. 

_ Patience _ .

She could do that. It’d be like Grady all over again. Watching and waiting until an opportunity presented itself. If they were smart, the Saviors would keep the people from today separated, harder for them to plan an escape that way. She wouldn’t at all be surprised if she wasn’t allowed to see Daryl at all. Negan seemed to be getting off on the idea of the hunter thinking she was dead, and if the bat wielding narcissist wanted Daryl broken, there really wasn’t a quicker way to do it. He’d want to enforce that lie. Complications, a lot of complications, and she didn’t know anything about where they were going to be kept, or the Sanctuary’s layout. 

Alright, so what assets did she have?

She didn’t panic in stressful situations, in fact none of the people that Negan had chosen to take with him did. So then the people – Glenn, Sasha, Carl, herself, and Daryl. In all actuality the asshole had done her a favor, besides Carl, he’d managed to avoid any wild cards or cowards. If she could get in a conversation with Rick’s son, Beth was reasonably sure she could get him to behave for as long as they needed…hopefully. 

They shared a history, the group of them, and she could use that if only she could think of a way how to. 

Events unfolded in front of her. 

Negan and Rick came back. 

There was a standoff and then the rather dramatic possibility that Carl would lose his hand. But finally,  _ finally _ , the sadist got what he wanted – and watched Rick’s psyche smash open like so much cracked shell. In her current state, Beth felt a vague gratefulness that it had happened without more bloodshed. And, that it had just  _ finally _ happened one way or another. Her knees hurt, her sister was a ghastly shade of sickly white tinged almost in green, and the quicker they could get to the Sanctuary the quicker she could formulate a better plan to get them out…and the quicker Maggie could get to a doctor. 

The individuals in their group that had been chosen were jerked up and shoved into the nearest vehicles, the rest left with a single truck to get them wherever they needed to go, and Beth tried to prepare herself for whatever was going to come at her next.  __

The Sanctuary was large.

The main building towered over her as she craned her neck back to take in the winding fire escape, wall of windows, and varied smoke stacks on the top. Large, and dirty too, she noticed as she was prodded to begin walking with the group of thugs that were apparently going to take her to where she’d be staying while she was there. Even though it must have been years since the factory actually functioned in any working capacity, the entire area seemed caked with a sooty darkness that leeched color from everything around it. Definitely not a happy place. Each face that peeked out at her, as she was shuffled through hallways and cavernous rooms, looked untrusting and miserable. 

An ache to be home in Alexandria tore through her, and Beth had to focus on the hollowness of her breaths to keep the feelings at bay. It was starting to wear off a little, the coldness, the nifty little insulation that kept her from feeling anything too sharply. It’d been a long day, long post-apocalyptic life actually, and things like adrenaline and indifference weren’t looking to stick around indefinitely. 

They started climbing stairs, and more stairs, and right when her legs were beginning to shake and chest to hitch, they turned down a hallway that led to her room. There were only a few tense heartbeats until the door shut behind her, and for now at least, Negan’s word was good. 

The room itself was a fairly large one, bigger than her and Daryl’s back home, and had obviously been reformatted from some sprawling conference room or workspace. Everything in it looked to be good quality, and while it by no means held the same comforting warmness that the Alexandrian homes did – it was a shade better than anywhere else that she’d stayed since the end had happened. 

Little to nothing could be used as a weapon, and of course everything of her own had been taken before she’d been lined up and shoved down onto her knees by Savior foot soldiers. A few heavy furniture items, a dresser, two armchairs, a coffee and a couple of bedside tables, could be shoved in front of the single entrance if she needed a barricade. Though, if it came to that, she would probably be screwed at that point anyway. 

There was a rakish tapping, and then Negan himself opened her door, a few mildly familiar faces behind him. None of which followed him inside when he stepped through into the room, and casually looked around. That same carefree smile was on his face, and Beth kept the mist cloaked around her burning core, by imagining the way those perfect teeth would look – broken and covered in blood, or those sparking browns put out by arrows.

But then no, Daryl might want to take care of things on a closer more intimate level –

Blond hair caught her sight, and Beth snapped her gaze to where Dwight loitered near the open doorway, scarred face and piercing eyes watching her sullenly. There was a familiar strap across his chest and an even more familiar leather vest hanging limply from his hands, covered in blood and torn across one wing where the bullet had gone through. She plunged herself into the remaining ice that was left in her, felt it sizzle and flush through her veins as their eyes met once more.

Daryl  _ would want _ the kill but, God and her daddy forgive her, she was going to visit no small amount of pain to the man that was staring back at her before she died. Of that much she was absolutely certain. 

“Thought I’d come to see how you liked your room, Sugar.”

Negan didn’t say it to her the way she’d heard it before, by mild mannered elderly people at church, or even the occasional flirting boy. No, when Negan said it, Beth could hear his words to her from mere hours ago – whispered once again into her ear.

_ “Bet you’re sweet as sugar to eat, aren’t ya?”  _

If he was hoping to get a rise out of her, he’d picked the wrong tactic, and she drummed up all her old lessons of manners from her mama,  _ and _ her lessons from Dawn on how to handle a volatile crazy – and let her lips curl the smallest amount.

“It’s very nice, thank you.” Polite, but not too much, there was still a chilliness in her tone and her eyes flicked from Negan immediately back to the man behind him once she’d finished speaking. 

She picked up from her peripheral vision, the way Negan frowned and stepped back to look behind him, and she could tell he did  _ not _ like the amount of attention she gave Dwight. No matter the reason. When he turned back, Beth forced her gaze to meet his, there was a fine rope she was walking and it would be all too easy to tip one way or another off the side of it. The bearded man smirked slightly, leaning towards her conspiratorially.

“I’m guessin’ you’re not D’s biggest fan?” he asked unnecessarily, a side of his mouth pulling back as she shook her head without hesitation. “That is  _ too damn bad _ Sugar, since I kinda made you and your guy, Dwight’s little pet project.”

It was on her lips, to make some smartass reply, or maybe ask where the blond man’s significant other was – so that he would know that Beth would be on the lookout for her. But there was something in Dwight’s eyes when she looked at him, made her stop and reconsider. Almost a warning, and one that wasn’t strictly hostile. She couldn’t risk it, not with all the loved ones she had with her. Not with Daryl at the man’s mercy. 

She shrugged.

Which for some reason, made Negan grin and lick his lips.

For all she was certain that the Savior leader hadn’t enjoyed getting punched in the face – there must have been  _ something _ in Daryl’s actions that made Negan like him. If that wasn’t the case, she and Daryl would be dead, and the big leather bound letch wouldn’t be giving her that look like he could see through her clothes. It was a bit of a gamble, being a noncommutative ass right now, but she unfortunately had to play this all be ear.

“Brought the Doc up with me to get that scrape me an’ Lucille gave you looked at.” At Negan’s sudden switch in focus a nondescript man, that made her think of a severe looking Ichabod Crane for some reason, came into the room. 

Without paying Beth much mind at all, the doctor came forward and plucked up her arm to inspect it. It took biting the inside of her mouth until she tasted copper, but she held still as the man ran quick fingers over several places, turning the limb this way and that to catch the light. 

“She’s going to need a few stitches, definitely going to want to disinfect the area as well, quickly too.” He looked over at Negan as he said all of this, continuing after a slight beat. “We’ll have to go to the med room for it. From your description, I only brought bandages, not suturing equipment.”

Negan looked mildly bored with the answer but nodded his acceptance. They left her room as a great procession; it made her feel uniquely uncomfortable, like she had a pack of coyotes licking at her heels. All the while she was kept close to the leader’s side as they made the trek back down the long stairway and into an entirely different building. This one was smaller, hallways branching out maze-like in every kind of direction, doors heavy and nondescript as they passed.

“If there’s anything you need Sugar, you just be sure to let me know,” Negan said, and she wondered distractedly if he’d have been likable once – or in another life. “You tell anyone  _ anything _ in this place, and it’ll  _ without a doubt _ get back to me.”

A warning, one she didn’t need, but something confirmed nonetheless. Lord knew her people were  _ more _ than acquainted with the kind of leader that inspired blind devotion in their followers. She’d already lost family to the last one, wasn’t planning to let that happen again if she could help it. 

“Thank you,” she murmured again, losing no pride or possible sleep over the shallow gesture. Unlike many of the men in her life, Beth was in it for the long con as it were. She’d gotten impatient once, and it had nearly gotten her shot in the head. “That’s nice of you.”

“Oohhoo,  _ boys _ ,” her walking partner crowed lowly, as they turned another corner. “You hear all that  _ snow _ mixed with her sugar? Tell me,” there was a long pause until she realized what he wanted, and supplied her name to him, “Beth, tell me, that old  _ roughneck _ warm you up any? Or are y’all this quiet even when you’re  _ bumpin’ uglies _ ?”

Blinking up at him, Beth continued to stare for a few more steps. “He warms me up just fine.”

Negan’s mouth dropped open comically, and even though she knew he did it all for show, she couldn’t help the reassuring little rush it gave her. 

“Oh I  _ bet _ he does,” Negan chuckled, stopping in front of the door that must lead them to the med room. “Well, if there’s any  _ warming _ , or anything  _ else _ you need done, just get word to me.”

“The only thing I want,” Beth began, lighting a hand onto the doorknob in front of her, “I don’t think you’d be willin’ to give.”

A large hand covered hers, and Negan was suddenly very much in her personal space, leaning into her with that same smile – the one that’d be so charismatic if it wasn’t attached to a psycho path wielding a barbed wire covered bat. 

“What?” And the fingers curling around the back of hers squeezed to the point right before pain. “ _ Freedom _ for you and all your pals?”

Considering the positions of their hands for a moment with stoic eyes, Beth craned back to look at him, much like she had when looking over the Sanctuary. The problem with Negan, was that he wasn’t stupid or brutish like Gorman had been, and he wasn’t completely reckless – as far as she’d seen – like both Dawn and the Governor could be on occasion. Another something that was going to take her a little bit longer than she’d like to figure out. Maybe events would happen that’d help make her decision, one way or another, about what the best next step would be.

“No, there’s no way that would happen,” she answered finally, waiting for him to finish nodding before she continued. “But I’d like to see him. Since it seems like you’re wantin’ him ta’ think I’m dead though, I doubt you’d be willin’ to let that happen.”

She could clearly see the gears spinning in the man’s head, which surprised her, she’d been expecting immediate refusal. His pondering set up major red flags for her, and each weary muscle she had tightened as the seconds ticked silently by.

“Hey Doc?” he finally called, leaning back a little to where the doctor was almost lost amongst the entourage. “What you told me about that particular guest? That still hold true?”

“Yes, and it will for perhaps the next day or so.”

Her mouth ran dry inexplicably, she didn’t like the leering smirks she saw from both the Saviors and their leader, as Negan used his grip on her hand to open the door. She thought bizarrely for an instant that she’d find Daryl crumpled and bleeding as the barrier swung open noiselessly… 

There was only a mostly clean looking room beyond, complete with an exam table, medical supplies and cabinets lined the perimeter. 

“Get cleaned up.”

The order was given quietly, and Beth followed it without thought. Possibilities whirred through her mind as the dried wounds along her arm were cleaned, stitched, and bandaged. When she made it back into the hallway all of the low level grunts had left besides Dwight, and Negan grinned at her happily.

“Ready?” At her nod, he whistled a quick note and jerked his head down the way they’d come. Beth hurried to pass by Dwight, noticing that he no longer held Daryl’s vest as she did, and caught up to Negan’s easy strides. “Now, if I was a  _ real _ asshole,” he paused, but she didn’t take the bait, “I’d say something along the lines of, if you can get him to follow you out of this building, that I’d set you all free, but  _ that ain’t gonna happen _ .”

Regardless, Beth’s pulse had slammed along her wrists at the idea alone, and she suddenly had a stark impression as to why he was allowing this to take place. Daryl must still be out cold, and that was why she was getting to see him, because he wouldn’t know she was there. It was still cruel, and Negan was probably going to enjoy whatever happened next immensely, but at least she’d get to see Daryl and know he was breathing. 

“I’ll warn you, Dwight got a little  _ enthusiastic _ in the van earlier, and according to good ole’ Doc Carson your man doesn’t know where, when, or  _ who _ he is.” Bile crept up her throat as they stopped in front of one of the many grey doors. So he was awake? At least partially? This might be worse than she’d thought it was going to be if – “Damnedest thing though,” Negan added reflectively, as Dwight unlocked the door and stepped back. “Man keeps talkin’ about  _ plants _ , burrs or some shit, what was it D?”

Negan opened the door with a flourish.

“Brier,” Dwight muttered, sounding somewhat uncomfortable. “He keeps saying Brier.”

They’d stripped him.

Light poured in from the hallway, and she watched with a pricking heart throb as her man reared back from the pain it caused him. Filthy and completely naked, Daryl first tried to stretch and arc away from the intrusive glow that must have been stabbing points of incredible agony through his assaulted skull. Muscle pulled and went taught over his large frame, before the movement itself became too much, and he curled up and hid his face the best he could. Noises like a wounded bear growled and groaned their way out of him, but those too turned out to be too much, and small whimpers replaced them.

“G’on then,” Negan whispered jovially, “you can talk, touch, whatever, he’s not gonna remember shit so it doesn’t matter.”

“Can I,” she swallowed the surge of something that tried making its way out, “can I shut the door behind me? The light…”

He was quiet for so long, Beth finally yanked her sight away from Daryl’s form, and saw an expression of near sadness on Negan’s face before it dropped away in a flash. His lips curled and he nodded once again, waving a hand towards the occupied room. Returning the gesture, she bobbed her head once, and took slow and unhurried steps into Daryl’s cell.

“Oh, one more thing,” Negan’s voice murmured dangerously behind her, “he’s been  _ super _ fuckin’ violent anytime someone gets close to him, so good luck with that.”

The door clicked closed, and she could just make out Daryl’s rangy frame from the small amount of illumination that snuck in from underneath the door. He moaned a grateful sound as the light was almost entirely diminished. Those hands of his, that she’d watched work on his bow, or her body, dragged themselves away from his face to lay motionless once more. At least they’d cleaned and patched the wound in his shoulder, sure the rest of him was covered in all matter of blood and grime but from what she could see – he hopefully wouldn’t get an infection. 

Negan’s warning did little to scare her like he probably thought it would. For all the things people called him, Daryl  _ was _ basic in many ways, but it was because he was instinctual. A part of that was about knowing people’s intents, or at least getting a fair handle on them, it was what had kept him breathing. So it didn’t surprise her in the least that he’d been lashing out at all these bastards that had tried to lay hands on him. She hoped by  _ super fuckin’ violent _ , Negan meant Daryl had gotten a chance to dole out some punishment for what they’d done to him.

“Daryl?” 

He twitched, and this too was violent, body hunching and coiled in the nearly gone light.

“Daryl, it’s me ok?” She’d used this tone on him before, more than once, and now it appeared to calm some of the slight quivering his skin was doing. “I’m here, and I’m  _ gonna _ be here.” Landing carefully on her knees, she laid a cautious hand on his bicep, matching his next exhale when it  _ wooshed _ out of him. 

Had to get closer, no doubt Negan and his jackass flunky were right outside the door listening. 

She didn’t really feel like making it easy on them.

“They’re gonna tell you I’m dead,” she whispered, bending over him, lips almost touching his damp hair. “That it’s your fault but they’re lyin’.”

“B-rier,” he groaned, jerking solidly at her tear ducts and from beneath her hand. 

There were other things he said, but she couldn’t discern what the garbled words were supposed to be. When Beth repeated his name, Daryl lurched forward onto his stomach. She only managed to get a steadying hand on his back when he was shoving himself up to a kneeling position. Great shuddering breaths kicked up the hair that covered his face as he weaved unsteadily. Without thinking, she made the two small knee-walking steps necessary to be in front of him, arms going around his torso to keep him upright.

His hands, the ones she loved, gripped onto her arms and stilled immediately. Had he grabbed any lower, Beth hated to think of the noise she’d have made, or the lancing discomfort that his large palms catching against her stitches would have caused. At any rate, he could only maintain the hold for a few startled beats, and then his arms dropped and he swayed heavily into her. 

Out of habit, her fingers stroked paths up and down his back. 

Daryl curled over her smaller build, head resting on her shoulder. She did her best to avoid any contact to the back of his head. The man was so damn heavy, her already abused knees were screaming at her to get them out of their current position, but Beth was afraid of what he’d hit if they went down together.

There were still mumblings, things that sounded like apologies, like begging, and she pressed herself against him to hold on tighter. For a heartbeat, they weren’t in the cell at all, had never left their bed the morning Denise had died. No, she’d forgone sleep for the both of them, had slid off his clothes a piece at a time – if she opened her eyes now she’d see his winged vest piled on their floor. He was warm and whole, nuzzling her neck and humming those throat grating noises he knew that she loved…

The side of his face knocked drunkenly against hers. 

Beth turned enough to kiss the side of his mane-covered cheek. 

A slightly impatient whistling sound came from outside, and her eyes snapped open. She didn’t remember closing them, or when the moisture had overflowed her bottom lids. 

They were out of time.

Reaching down, she snatched up his wrist, ignoring his grunt of irritation when she did.

“You  _ listen _ ,” she all but growled into his ear, the whole weighty frame of him going tense at the urgency in her voice. “They say you’re not gonna remember this, but I think ya will, you’ve got to Daryl. I’m  _ with you _ ok? Like all the times before, I am  _ right _ here with you.” She could hear the doorknob turning, ground her bones against his where she held him. “ _ You’re Daryl _ ,” and like they had several times before, the words felt lacking and too simple, couldn’t hope to contain all the internal meaning she’d tied to them in her head. “You save people, keep ‘em alive,” she released a sob-filled breath into his ear making him shiver, “even if they do got weak ankles. You stay alive, I’ll get us out, but  _ you _ gotta stay with  _ me _ this time.”

The unforgiving hallway light hit them, but thankfully, Beth’s head shielded Daryl from the worst of it. 

“Woah, what the fuck?” Negan asked, and the Savior leader sounded none too happy for once. “Didn’t Carson say this dude’s bell got wrung so hard he wouldn’t be able to run if a  _ pack of walkers _ was after him?”

“That’s what he said yeah,” Dwight replied, voice striking Beth as equally pissed.

“I love you,” she barely breathed the words, but Daryl’s free arm bumped into her repeatedly as if he was trying to wrap it around her. “I gotta go now, but I love ya ok?”

Something strained and desperate tore from his throat, and Beth was trying to ease him down when Dwight was just  _ there _ , and pushed Daryl off her. His body hit the cement with a slight slapping noise, and his hands went up once more to block his eyes from the light that was trying once more to hurt him. 

She didn’t even know she had stood up until Dwight’s scarred face was all she could see, arms flexed on either side, even her work-shortened nails managed to dig into her palms with how tightly her fists were clenched. Teeth bared, she must have snarled something at the taller, larger man. 

He didn’t manage to completely stop his flinch of surprise. 

“O-kay, ok,” Negan said, leaning in a little to pull her from the cell. “Let’s not push her clear over the fuckin’ edge  _ alright _ D? I mean,” he continued, steering her with minimal touches down the uniform and confusing hallways, “she’s behaving herself  _ so well _ . Don’t even know if I’d have blamed her too much for clockin’ ya right then.”

Things were quiet, or at least she heard nothing else. Her door closing and locking behind her barely registered. She walked numbly over to the bed, scanned it emotionlessly, the comforter and pillows were easy enough to strip off. Pushing the two armchairs together and against the farthest wall, Beth laid herself down and tried to get some sleep.

Pushed everything she’d just seen and felt, everything she’d heard, as far away as could for now.

She ended up watching the sunlight shift and change against the walls of her room for a while, passing out after an undetermined amount of time when her body couldn’t function any longer.  

Something clicked.

Beth was on her feet and half crouched before she was fully awake, eyes blinking blearily around at all the unfamiliar objects around her when the door swung open. A woman she guessed to be around her sister’s age stood watching her as the silence lengthened into something awkward. Her heart gave a shuddering twist at the thought of Maggie, and she wondered how long it would be, until she’d know what had happened to her last surviving blood relative. The stranger shifted uncomfortably, and Beth realized that she was still in a basic combat stance. Keeping a close eye on the newcomer, she straightened and did her best to look relaxed.

There was little to no chance of getting out of this room if they saw her as a constant threat. It’d been a while, since playing nice was a necessity. So long, that it might be out of reach to try for right now. Thankfully, the brunette in the impractical dress looked relieved enough that Beth didn’t appear moments away from launching herself across the room anymore. 

“Hi,” she said, almost waving before she caught herself and stopped. “I’m Sherry, I’m D-” She swallowed and crossed her arms defensively. “I’m Negan’s wife, one of them, anyway.”

Beth felt her brow furrow and Sherry nodded in understanding. Negan’s voice came filtering back to her from the other night, he’d asked if  _ she _ was married, if she wanted to be…And Beth had wanted to say yes – because it felt like she was – totally bound to the bleeding man that’d been only feet from her at the time. But it wasn’t like she and Daryl had talked about it, and it wasn’t like it mattered anymore really. 

There was also no way of knowing if Negan would have used that against either her, or her man, if he’d possessed the knowledge. That either hadn’t occurred or hadn’t mattered to Daryl, who’d gone and growled his version of an answer when Negan had said something about her having a guy.

God, but she’d loved him  _ so much _ in that moment.

Even through the haze, even through the cold.

Coming back to the present though, Sherry had been about to say she was…something with a D?

“I’m supposed to show you around, come on.”

There was only time for a slight hesitation before Beth was following her out the door and down the hall. She had no idea if this woman could fight better than she could, or if this was some kind of trap, but she wouldn’t be able to learn anything by staying in the room. They’d only made it down one set of the long stairway when she couldn’t keep the questions that were reverberating in her brain to herself anymore.

“Is Daryl alright? Do you know?”

The other woman looked a little startled at her sudden outburst but jerked her head in a quick nod. “Yeah, he’s awake now.” 

There was no reason to trust this person, she was married to Negan for hell’s sake, but Beth let the small amount of joy pulse through her in any event. She must have slept for a good clip of time then, which was obnoxious, any amount of different and terrible things could have happened in the Sanctuary while she’d been snoozing. But if it was the truth, and Daryl was conscious and perhaps functioning, that was a great sign. 

“And the others? The ones that came when I did?” 

Sherry pulled up short on the next landing, a look of understanding and pity sweeping her features before she hid it away.

“Everyone’s ok, it’s been pretty quiet so far.”

Releasing a hard breath, Beth started down the stairs once more, feeling some of the tremble leave her bones as they descended. 

Sherry was true to her word, and showed Beth basically all there was to see of the Sanctuary and its people. Glancing around the market area they’d ended up at, she didn’t see any of her family. That was hardly surprising. No doubt they’d either been given this tour, or would be getting it,  _ after _ she was tucked behind closed doors once more. She had to think of a way to communicate with them,  _ and _ a way to get them all out. 

“Look Beth,” Sherry said suddenly, like she’d been keeping the words locked between her teeth for a while. “Negan wanted me to tell you, no matter what happens in the future, you can’t let Daryl see you.”

She didn’t know why, but there was something in the way the woman spoke that made her  _ know _ he hadn’t been able to remember what she’d told him in the cell. Daryl didn’t lie about important things, things that mattered, and even if he’d wanted to – he’d probably have been awful at it. The reality of it, even if it was without proof, was enough to roll a melancholy wave of monstrous proportions over her. Slammed her lungs too tight to draw breath for a moment before she could suck in enough oxygen to matter.

“Says that if you do, he’ll kill him,  _ no _ second chances,” her unwilling jailor continued, holding Beth’s gaze with a sincerity that was impossible to argue with or distrust. “He means it Beth, alright? I know you’re Daryl’s…”

Sherry waited but Beth didn’t answer, didn’t fill in the unsaid word. Partly, because she still couldn’t speak, and partly, because that assessment was good enough. She was Daryl’s. He was hers. What else was there to say about it?

“I know y-” 

Beth ticked her sight over to where Sherry’s had suddenly gone, and froze.

Angel wings. 

Dirty ones.

But that frame was wrong, far too tall and lanky. The long hair above the vest was blond not brown. And the arms to each side, they could never hope to fill out the openings there, not like the true owner’s did. Beth’s lips parted and she felt them draw back like they had yesterday, but this snarl was a silent one.

_ That motherfucker. _

Dwight turned to one side, different parcels of what looked to be food in his hands. He’d gotten someone to sew up the torn wing, and it looked as if it was marginally cleaner, than when she’d last seen it on Daryl. The lines on the wings were basically nonexistent though, and it almost looked like an entirely different item of clothing, hanging off its new host like it was. 

Sherry’s hand was latched onto her arm, and Beth’s breathing came too hard as the other woman towed her back the unconscious step she’d taken forward. With difficulty, she yanked her focus back to Sherry’s face, her eyes feeling burnt from the blasphemy she’d just seen. Her tour guide had gone pale, and there was a look of fear in her large eyes. Not just fear for Beth, though that was marginally there too. No, she was scared for the blond man, for him and maybe of him like she didn’t recognize who she was staring at.

And things wobbled into place.

“You’re the woman from the woods,” Beth accused angrily, barely managing to keep her voice down when Sherry looked back at her. “The one that was with  _ him _ , who helped him take Daryl. You two stole his shit. After he  _ helped _ you.” 

She was rewarded with a miserable set of features before being tugged away from the market. 

Beth allowed it to happen, allowed it, because she’d ruin everything and  _ quickly _ if she had to look at that piece of shit in Daryl’s vest for a moment longer. Her legs were wooden rubber beneath her, the joints moved oddly and she stumbled over her feet more than once. How had all of this happened? And perhaps a random, odder question was…How had Sherry ended up married to  _ Negan _ ?  They were in one of the Sanctuary’s countless hallways, and then in some kind of meeting room, a long table and dirty windows flashed by – her body getting swung around to meet Sherry’s gaze.

“You can’t go after him,” the woman told her breathlessly, appearing to be truly panic stricken at the idea. “If you do, he’ll take it out on Daryl, they  _ both _ will.”

She almost asked why after everything, the idea seemed to distress Sherry so much. Then it struck her that it didn’t matter, and even if it did, this frantic mess in front of her probably wouldn’t be able to answer anyhow. Something stirred – a part of her that she hadn’t felt in a little while now – and Beth almost wanted to throttle the empathy that creeped into her throat. 

“I need you to do something for me.”

Sherry was shaking her head before Beth had even finished.

“He’ll kill me.”

Did she even know which  _ him _ was being talked about? Or was it all the same here?

“Look, just,” she stumbled in frustration, gripping the arms whose hands were doing the same to her. “If you see him, if you get a chance, you tell him…” What? There was no way in any scenario imaginable that Daryl would listen to this person that’d betrayed him. “Just, whatever ya would have, if I hadn’t asked you.”

“What? To not do anything that’ll get him killed, or  _ worse _ ?” 

Even though it was said with a hysterical note of sarcasm, Beth found herself nodding at Sherry’s words regardless. She didn’t know what good it would actually do, but it certainly couldn’t hurt anything, to have someone caution him towards self-preservation at the very least. She knew how angry, how  _ rabid _ , she would be if she thought someone had murdered  _ him _ . Trying to imagine the depth of Daryl’s rage and despair, of self-loathing, was enough to make her both nauseous and dizzy all at once.  

She needed a plan.

Needed one now and desperately, before she, he, or any one of their family could do something that was going to get the lot of them killed. There was little she could do, if Sherry decided to turn around and tell all of what was said between them to Negan, but she was short on allies and so far Sherry was the only person she’d been able to read clearly. And for now, nothing of mass importance had been shared, and  _ for now _ she’d keep it that way.

What would Negan learn? 

That she wanted Daryl to behave himself?

Hardly something offensive and nothing else could be known on their end.

“I can’t believe he’s wearing Daryl’s vest like that,” Sherry whispered, breaking Beth’s concentration. “Why would he  _ do _ that?”

Derisive didn’t quite cover the amount of scorn that colored Beth’s next expression, and Sherry’s hold loosened before dropping away completely, looking embarrassed on her ex’s behalf. 

“Well, I…I better be getting you back to your room.”

Their traverse of the stairs was silent, as was their short trip down the hallway to Beth’s temporary door to her  _ temporary _ room.

“Thanks Sherry,” she found herself saying, talking over whatever denial the other woman almost said in reply. “If nothin’ other than stoppin’ me from throttlin’ Dwight out in front a’ God an’ everybody.”

“It was the least I could do.”

_ Yeah it was. _

But she didn’t say it out loud, just shrugged and took what refuge the alien room could offer her for now. She had a strategy to formulate. Contingencies to guess at and to make navigable if the time came.  

She had to save him.

Had to save all of them.

Because of course she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is, I hope you guys feel a little better? There was more sadness I know, I tried to warn you a few chapters back about it. But in any event, let me know what you thought if you get a chance. Thanks again!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl's side of things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Hey guys :) Crazy semester. I know it's been a while so thanks to everyone sticking with the story. I'm going to be kind of interlacing these next few chapters, but if I do them right it shouldn't be too confusing aha aha... 
> 
> This chapter was a hard one, and like I've said before, the balance between skimming through things that people that have seen and including enough so that no one gets lost has been difficult for me. Basically this chapter is the episode The Cell, and a lot of the dialogue was kept but we'll be looking at it with a different context. Hope everything comes through clearly, but let me know if that's not the case.
> 
> Also I don't own anything The Walking Dead or Crying by Roy Orbison related.
> 
> Happy Reading Ya'll!

**Chapter 33**

He was in the deepest pitch black darkness he'd ever known. The weight of it threatened to rupture his eyes. There was nothing in here with him now...there was nothing in him. Things had tried to take a piece of him earlier; he'd lashed out until they'd left him alone. Let him be. No use yelling, or crying out for help, anything else. He might not know where he was, but he sure as fuck knew that he deserved to be here.

He'd killed her.

Not the maniac with the bat. He'd all but done it himself.

_Beth._

The lightlessness was what he'd been left with, and it was no longer a place he felt at home.

No, now the dark wasn't just in his skin, it _was_ his skin. He was all frostbite, and heartbroken almosts – that were never going to happen. What was left now, what he had planned anyhow, was to lay where he was and let it eat him. It was a lot better this way. The quiet. Nothing trying to violently tear into him, sink teeth in, pummel him to sopping bits. The silence and cold could just nibble him to nothingness, and then he'd be able to get to whatever next place there was.

He'd better take what time he could now, to work up a half decent apology for when he saw her. No doubt Beth was going to have a thing or two to say about...

Light flared through his personal section of purgatory.

Daryl wanted to scream, and maybe he was, because the beams that struck him were no gentle rays. They lanced through the nerves of his eyes, turned into wayward shards of the sun, and burnt every tender part of him. Christ, so much for getting to be quietly consumed like so much roadkill. So much for letting his tired body go to the unobtrusive erosion of the darkness. It would have been too goddamned good for him any-fuckin'-way.

He should have known.

The largest, most tired part of him, wanted it to just sear him to dust. Get it over with. But the stubborn animal in him fought the pain enough to peek a lid open. Wanted to see what was coming for him.

_Brier._

There she was, backlit and haloed from head to toe. The illumination flashed out to either side of her, phantom wings. They were prettier than the ones that he'd kept on his back had ever been. Daryl wasn't the slightest bit surprised about it. Of course she was a goddamn angel, and besides being vaguely worried about not ending up in the same place as she was, Beth already in Heaven made more sense to his devastated mind than anything else had in a long time.

He looked until the pain shut his eyes, but it'd been long enough. If it was a breath or a billion years - he'd seen every bloodless inch of her face - and it was enough. Something that did surprise him a slight amount, was how quickly she'd come to find him. Having her with him, and the guilt of what he'd caused, Daryl curled around the ragged hole that'd formed in his gut.

In his head, Merle called him every four lettered word and name for coward, as his spine curved in on itself.

_Yer the fucker had to swing your dick around an' prove how tough ya are._

His brother had rarely sounded so disgusted with him.

_Went an' got the only bitch crazy enough ta' love yer freak-ass killed, an' now look atcha._

"Fuck off Merle," he growled, as Beth's light sliced along his nervous system. "Ain't none a' yer damn business. S'between me an' her."

_Ain't fuckin' shit between y'all anymore, you slow bastard, she's as dead as I am lil' bro._

He couldn't stop the piteous noises that pried their way out of him at that.

Merle's voice hardened.

_No one left that loves you brother, ya let us all get wrecked. Ya think that new family will let you back in? Even if you can cut loose from this nutcase, you went and lost their golden girl._

"Jus' leave me alone...please," he added at the end, desperate for the words to stop. Beth was still shining down on him. He had enough shit to deal with right now without having to chug down Merle's bile.

 _Pussy. Hope that woman burns you alive. Then you an' me can have a_ real  _chat when you get to where yer goin'._

He didn't respond.

It wasn't that he feared the flame. But if Beth did use that light, that hurt him just to look at, to set him ablaze...Well, it meant she really did hate him. And even if he’d earned it, her hating him was almost worse than losing her. Those embarrassing damn noises still trickled out, and he couldn't even manage to care. They'd both known it was going to be so,  _so_ , bad when they lost the other. But he'd wanted longer, been willing to kill for longer. Her next action was going to determine just how damned he actually was.

The light faded - mellowed to a glow on his eyelids.

He couldn't hope for forgiveness, but a  _thank you_ attempted to form in his swollen mouth anyhow. The gentlest warmth eased across his barren skin. It made him realize just how frigid his body felt, and how lifeless what was left in him could be.

"Daryl?" Her voice was so fuckin' loud, and fading all at the same time. Daryl felt a kind of shock spasm through his muscles at the sound of her. "Daryl...ok?"

There was interference in their line, some paranormal static was tuning her in and back out by harsh degrees. But he did his best to calm down and focus. Everything hurt, especially her, her speech, her light, the unrepentant heat she was bringing with her from the other side.

He needed to move, to get to her, this might be his last chance. At the very least he needed to open his motherfucking eyes and look at her. So what if it made him lose his sight? Just like he'd told her about bad moonshine - wasn't nothing worth seeing out there anymore anyway. Especially now with her...

Especially now.

"I'm here...gonna."

What was she trying to tell him? He was going to miss it. She'd done the fucking impossible to get here to him and he couldn't even make his godforsaken ears work long enough to hear her. Desperation began bubbling at the back of his throat, and it started to choke him, until a benevolent level of burning touched his arm. The air pent up in his lungs released itself without warning as the heat soaked into his skin.

"I'm dead," she whispered, and he felt it like a kick to his already bleeding guts. “…it’s your fault but…”

_Awe god, please no._

He’d never wanted this. Never thought Negan would take his anger out on Beth. If anyone was supposed to be punished it was Daryl, it was him.

His jaw felt wired shut. Whatever veil she was crossing in order to impart this bit of well-deserved torture was laying over him heavily. He couldn’t let her go back without telling her every variation of _sorry_ he had in him. She didn’t have to tell him it was his fault, or that he’d managed to lose all the family he could have ever wanted when he lost her. He knew.  

“B-rier.”

This was a nightmare. His inability to speak was being amplified far past something bearable. The contact – maybe her hand – sent out pulse after pulse and rattled his joints. He wasn’t strong enough to stay under it without flinching back. “Didn’ mean fer it…girl I swear.” She was leaving, he could feel the warmth recede. Half sentences and pleas began escaping him. “Would’a loved you m’whole life. Still will – Beth. I didn’ mean t’get our baby killed. You’da been the sweetest mom. I-”

“Daryl.”

There was tightness in her voice. He’d gone too far maybe, bringing up the baby. Fuck…A shiver raced through him and Daryl heaved against the pressure trying to hold him to the ground. It pushed against his back, but he’d gotten the bit in his teeth now and ignored everything other than the need to get to his feet. She couldn’t leave him yet. She couldn’t. He hated losing people. He couldn’t _lose_ her. Couldn’t lose Beth.

What the fuck was he going to do without his Brier?

Pure energy wrapped around his torso, slamming into his ribcage and engulfing him. Daryl attempted to get hands on it. To try and push it away. Then he realized from the sigh of sound it made, that he’d actually gotten her to stay. His head was reeling and her proximity was going to destroy him. Happily, or near enough to it, Daryl hurled himself into the depths of her. Wrapped his beaten shell around her blazing core and prayed she’d take him with her when she left.

“Don’ you leave me here girl,” he murmured. “M’sorry, swear t’Christ. Jus’ don’ you leave me too. L’go with ya, m’so sick a’ fightin’ Beth.” Her soul held him tighter, and he felt something in his chest let go. “I get it now,” he promised.  

At least they’d gotten some time while they were living.

He was drifting, memories coming from the darkness to see him off to the next place. Electricity danced along his back, and he vaguely wondered if she was giving him a set of his own wings…

An eerie whistle dug through his mind – something about it was familiar and terrifying.

A whipcord of unyielding force ensnared his wrist. “ _Listen_ ,” she said, her tone making him want to strike out at whatever had her sounding so desperate. “Remember…Daryl. With you, right with you. _You’re Daryl_ , keep…alive.”

No.

       No.

               No.

She was supposed to take him with her. Panic seeped into him once again as the grip on his wrist clamped down harder with every word she said to him.

“You stay alive, you gotta…me this time.”

He didn’t understand.

The dark was coming, that was the whistle, and she couldn’t bring him. She wanted him to keep going without her. Wanted him to what? To listen to her this time? Whisperings in the dark – Beth was keeping it back. She was acting as a barrier between it and him. She didn’t need to do that. Didn’t need to leave him. He’d made a big deal about staying upright and breathing but it didn’t mean as much right now. Here. In the quiet.

Had to stay with her.

“Love you.” The sentiment was barely a sigh against his throbbing ears. Daryl made an effort to cling to the shifting form of her, but his arms fought him. “Gotta go…love.”

He was shouting her name. He was bellowing _anything_ he could. All those almosts came with a seething murk that shoved him straight out of Beth’s arms. He didn’t know if the resulting flash was her or not, if she was trying to chase the void away. But the light hit him, and something was growling, and he’d been…so close.

Unable to open his eyes, Daryl willed himself into nothingness. He wished for his mind to expand and shatter into millions of rolling pieces – a landslide out into the ether. If it’d just give him that, he could do the rest, find her out there. Probably hear her singing throughout the cosmos. He held onto the concept until things began to spiral around, and it was harder to remember what he was hoping for. If he could just get some rest. If he could finally get a wink of sleep, it’d come to him when he woke up. He was almost sure…

When he did wake up, and it all _did come_ rushing back, Daryl took a good long while wishing he were unconscious once more.

The cement and cinderblocks slid along his questing fingertips. He felt carefully along the edges of his cell until he knew the important things. His body moved through the motions, headache slamming like a two year old’s tantrum against his foggy brain. The door was located, and just as importantly, so was the farthest corner from said door. Daryl tucked himself against the barely textured surface. Scarcely able to feel his extremities, he did what he could to think through the all-consuming pain in his head.

The minutes ticked by like eons, each one filled a hundred times over with Beth’s death. Except his cockroach infested skull was good enough to fill in the details he hadn’t actually seen. Luckily, he hadn’t eaten since he didn’t know when, but his stomach still did its best to turn inside out while he pawed at the unforgiving room that caged him. Images that promised no less torment than his heaving bowls did, went slideshow style against his oxygen deprived sight.

Snapshots of her in the woods, fire lit, or by the moon. Ghosts of sensations – the tingling in the muscles of his back, lips along his ribs, braided hair against the palm of his hand. She blinked up at him from the rim of a cup in the kitchen back home, or from underneath her lashes as her hands pulled on the waistline of his sweat pants.

The idea of her being gone was like someone telling him the end of the world hadn’t really happened. But he knew it was true. The aches and pains of his body withered away from his notice, and he spent an inordinate amount of time staring at one of his wrists. He could see from the barely there light coming in from underneath the door that it was for some reason cleaner than the other, and at the same time, more deeply bruised. The sight of it kept tickling something in his memory, but things were far too fucked up in his brain to catch hold of any _one_ thing. Time slipped into a loop of blind torment, and Daryl was left to stare sightlessly in front of him as his consciousness attempted to meat grind itself into mush.

At some point the door opened. It was too bright, and food was being tossed at him.

He noticed hazily through all the shards stabbing through his vulnerable areas, that that bastard was wearing his vest. But the fact was riding low on his reasons to throttle the guy to death, so the thought didn’t stick with him overly long, once the door had shut again.

He ate in the same base way he’d checked the room. Some inherent part of him turning the gears of his joints to keep him going, and all the while his mind was in a circling horror show. They’d given him a dogfood sandwich – like that was a kind of punishment. People here didn’t know hungry. Obviously didn’t realize he’d eaten shit that tasted far nastier than his current meal, back before everything went to hell.

But if he thought he’d be given some peace and quiet after this – he was super fuckin’ mistaken.

The music started. It kept going, on and on, only stopping long enough for him to think about sleep, before they’d ramp the too happy tune back to full throttle once more. He was in a revolving door of pain, the same images – either real or imagined – rolling through his mind. Beth dying. Dwight bringing food. Death of the light. Over and over again, until he barely knew which position his body had decided to move itself into during any given hour. And he was just miserably tired, but they wouldn’t let him check out, not even for a moment.

He’d really like to get the fuck off _Easy Street_ as soon as possible.

A break came when Dwight’s scarred and scowling ass came again, and this time he brought clothes. Again, Daryl’s body moved, accepting the cover with animalistic interest. Autopilot, the term had never made so much sense to him before. But he allowed it, had to, the girl had told him to keep going. Keep alive. So he’d give it a shot. When Dwight came back later on and hauled him in to see the doctor, Daryl got an eyeful of a few familiar faces that he’d rather have not seen again.

That woman of Dwight’s told him in no uncertain terms to behave – and later on – he got jerked down onto his knees when Negan strolled around the corner of the hallway Dwight had been pushing him along.

But he’d been able to get through it all without even a word.

If he’d had the time or ability to think about what he’d have done when seeing any of them, if he’d been asked, his guess would have been something snarling and violent. The only thing that happened though, was a mild irritation at the feelings that came _close_ to happening. Things so deep within him they couldn’t quite reach his brain, or his heart. He realized the hate he held for them – Negan, Dwight, even the woman – was that their presence was threatening to make him become fully conscious again, when for days now he’d been in a never-ending nightmare.

Them being in his face was going to make him wake up.

Who the hell knew how long he’d be able to keep himself alive once that happened?

Wasn’t like he was good with people…especially not ones he’d like to murder.

He’d been locked up for another meaningless amount of time when the door opened and someone new stood holding Daryl’s next meal. It was one of Negan’s soldiers, the big guy, Daryl eyed him uncertainly as the guy stared back – clearly bored – before tossing the sandwich down at Daryl’s feet. The door shut, but this time the accompanying lock-tick didn’t follow it. He waited. Might be a trick. A few hours of his time earlier had been spent checking out the strength of the door and walls that held him. Daryl hadn’t expected to escape the room, figured it’d have to be done while they were moving him around outside.

Seemed a little too good to be true…but then, could he really not take the chance?

Had to get out of this place, get the others that were here out too, get the lot of them back to the family. Start making plans to burn this place to the ground, find a way to get that barbed-wire bat away from Negan and use the thing that’d killed Beth to obliterate that fucker’s smiling face.

The knob turned easily in his hand, and he immediately began to move silently throughout the hallways. His pulse was decently steady, felt like a hunt, though rarely had he been on the other side of the equation. The place didn’t have great light, better for him, he was harder to see in the dirty jumpsuit thing they’d supplied him with earlier.

A hand snatched at the material on his back, and he was seconds away from lashing out, when he recognized Dwight’s woman and stopped. His old man had made him uniquely unwilling to hit women, no matter the circumstance, and he scrambled to figure out what he’d be able to do as an alternative, when she spoke.

“Go back,” she said calmly, but there were clear signs of fear in her eyes. She pleaded with him, and her words slid around him like so much wind. “There are still terrible things that can happen if you don’t.” Something about the way she was talking to him, made him hesitate for a beat. Like there was more to her messages, to her warnings, a bit left unsaid that tightened the corners of her mouth.

But then again.

He couldn’t trust this bitch.

Daryl left her standing there, his feet padding without fault along the cement floor. Beth had told him to stay alive, and he couldn’t do that here. It’d take very little to set him off, make him go for Negan or someone else’s jugular. And then they’d kill him, or someone else he cared about. Maybe that was why his girl had told him to stay alive, she wasn’t cruel – not intentionally – must want him to get their people out safely. They’d need the help, and he had to do what he could to…

Nothing was going to make up for what he’d done, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to fucking try anyhow.

A door at the end of the hall showed with more light than the others, and when he got close enough he saw it had a small squared window that he could glance through to the outside.

Motorcycles.

A twinge, like hope, wiggled through his chest, and Daryl bolted. The asphalt was hot and biting against his bare feet. It was completely different from the smooth stone from inside the building, but he ran across it just as numbly. Going to a couple of the models of bikes that he recognized, his eyes searched for the keys that’d get him free. If he could just get out, get eyes on where they were all being kept, it’d be easier to roundup the others and lead them away.

A door opened nearby and men poured out of it. Daryl took a few running steps in the opposite direction, his heartbeat finally kicking up to slam adrenaline through his veins. If he wasn’t careful, he might just start feeling alive again. He didn’t like the idea of what the fallout of that would look like. More doors slammed open. His movement stilled once he clocked how many men from how many sides were flowing out to meet him.

Trick.

Trap.

He’d fucking _known_.

The big guy that’d brought him his food calmly raised a gun and pointed it at him. Not an ounce of surprise on his features.

And then the whistling started.

That goddamn sound…even though he fought it, it sent a cold ball of wet and rotten dog food right to the pit of his stomach. The man that made it sauntered over, and Daryl watched through his hair as Negan stopped in front of him. There was disappointment or a shade along those lines, in the other man’s eyes as they held one another’s gaze. His muscles jumped and flexed, readying him for whatever fight was headed his way. But he had to wait, see which way his opponent was going to play things.

It turned out to be more talking.

It consisted of Negan showing off who the big dick was in the area, and putting on more of a show with his men. It weirdly made Daryl miss Rick. His brother was by no means perfect, or stable most of the time, but he’d never done this with their people. Made them perform for his own ego. The idea of Rick and the others, what they must be thinking and feeling about him now, curdled in his gut and Daryl had to take measured breaths through his nose to keep from throwing up.

When Negan presented him with a list of options, Daryl didn’t respond.

He didn’t like _any_ of them –

Work for Negan as a walker.

Work for Negan as a worker for points.

Work for Negan as a soldier.

“Live like a king,” Negan said.

Fucking pointless.

The man with the bat got very still when his oh-so-generous offers weren’t met with any kind of feedback, and Daryl froze in turn. The instinct that’d kept him alive all of these long and brutal years, bellowed at him to attack or flee before the next action happened. And before, he’d have listened to it without fail. She’d told him to stay alive, to listen to her, but…

If he just let Negan do whatever he was aiming to, it’d be over, and wherever he was going could hardly be worse than a world without Beth Greene in it. Maybe the only thing he could do at the moment, was take whatever it was, and do it like she had.

Without a sound.

Negan grimaced and said, “Screw it.”

The bat swung back and then down, and the only thing Daryl did was keep his eyes trained on Negan’s. There was a sound close by. A ragged, strangled one, that cut itself off, but it barely registered with him.

It stopped.

And so did the bat.

“ _Wow_ ,” Negan said, and it sounded to Daryl as if the other guy were about to get a hard-on with how excited Daryl’s reaction had made him. “ _You_ don’t scare easy. I _love_ that.”  

If that shit got the prick off, Daryl was reasonably sure Negan and his old man would’ve gotten along just great. Nobody taught someone the proper way to take a beating like Will Dixon had.

Daryl got the chance to demonstrate this a few minutes later when Negan had his boys jump him and rough him up a bit before dragging his bleeding ass back to his cell. It wasn’t even that bad of a one if he were honest. Scrapes and deep bruising, but nothing ripped open. Nothing broken. In a way it felt kind of good – familiar. Gave him something to think about other than blonde hair stained red, and a baby dying in the womb.

And then Dwight had to come back and fuck all that up straight to hell.

Another dogfood sandwich was waved next to his swollen face, and Daryl jerked his head to the side in a silent refusal. He’d thought for another disgustingly short second that he wouldn’t have to live through seeing what things were going to be like without her. Before, the motions of eating and existing had been done for him without his conscious input, now the concept of choking down another rank morsel just wasn’t going to happen. Plus, his goddamn mouth and jaw hurt like a sonofabitch, so Dwight could take his soggy bread and shove it.

“Eat,” Dwight said, and dropped the sandwich next to Daryl’s hip. When he didn’t go for it, the man continued on unflinchingly. “ _You_ got your girl killed. I got Tina killed. And don’t pretend like you don’t know the score.”

A rage that was, like the pain from the beating, familiar and welcome, coursed through him. Snatching up the bread and unidentifiable meat, he turned enough to chuck it with all his strength at the lanky haired chicken-shit. It clipped the doorjamb and exploded in a satisfyingly wet way all over his captor. Daryl turned back to his previous position, and felt Dwight crouch down to speak directly next to his ear – his voice barely controlled anger.

“You should be dead, but Negan’s taken a shine to you. You’re lucky. Don’t forget.” Dwight reached across him and stuck a Polaroid to the wall near Daryl’s face. Something fluttered down and stuck slightly to the backs of his hands. “Bon Appétit.” There was the smallest sound of Dwight’s boots scraping the floor as he toed in the remains of Daryl’s food, and then the door shut heavily behind him with a lock’s tick.

Only a meager amount of light actually filtered into the room from the gap between the door and the cement flooring. Daryl’s stomach flipped and rolled as his eyes unwillingly snapped down to what was tickling the hair near his wrists, and saw a blood spotted length of all too recognizable fabric.

_Beth’s band._

It was the one that she’d kept woven around her arm since she’d been able to stop using those crutches that he’d made her in a fit of pique. Just a strip of plaid from one of his old shirts.

As if the thing were a wayward butterfly, Daryl turned it in his hands with an agonizing slowness, and brought it closer to his face.

There was a prickling in his eyes he ignored, rubbed the cloth between his fingers and thumbs, and inhaled deeply until the ghost of her scent and salted rust filled his nose. Clutching at the band, he wobbled his sight over to the Polaroid that was taped with its image facing the wall. Grabbing at it, he tossed it quickly to the floor. There was a finality to it that he hadn’t known was still somewhere unanswered in his mind. If he looked at what the picture held, there’d be no denying it, no way to lie to himself if he wanted.

Daryl looked at the black square with its white trim from the peripheral of his vision, considering it like he would a snake of any kind. He could tear it up, slide it under the door. Act like it didn’t exist.

But then Daryl Dixon didn’t lie, not about the important things, not even to himself.

With the edges of his fingers he flipped it over. And _made_ himself look.

Long pale limbs spread out to either side, a tank top too muddied with blood to tell the original color. A slight frame, but the picture cut off near the waist, north of the shirt was a gruesome mess of broken chunks. But amongst all the carnage he saw a few strands of rose stained blonde locks.

He couldn’t be sure it was her but…it looked like…

It felt like his eyes skittered away from the picture on their own accord, and afterwards, refused to land anywhere near the area for any length of time.

And then the music started again.

But they’d given him a new song…he couldn’t say he was a fan of the change.

The lyrics were a real bitch.

_“I was all right for awhile_

_I could smile for awhile_

_But I saw you last night_

_You held my hand so tight_

_As you stopped to say, "Hello"’_

His wrist let off with an odd ache, cheeks hot, he was slamming doors shut in his mind as quickly as possible. She’d been able to do it when the situation called for it. He needed to do the same. But they’d kept him awake for too long. Knocked a few too many knuckles and boots into him too, and Daryl took an unsteady breath as those doors cracked apart all to shit and crumbled to nothing.

_“Oh, you wished me well_

_You, you couldn't tell_

_That I'd been crying over you_

_Crying over you”_

His face crumpled by quick degrees, and he hated it so much. Not the liquid that rushed to his ducts or the heaving of his chest, but the knowledge that he was giving them exactly what they wanted. These people that had taken her from him – that had done what Dawn and the other assholes at Grady couldn’t – were now taking slow methodic steps to break him. And it was working. He hadn’t exactly made plans, set aside a given time, to sob his soul out over Beth, but he’d known it was coming.

Was it too much to ask? That he get to do it somewhere that wasn’t this room? With these sick fucks listening? Couldn’t he have gotten to do it in the woods maybe? Like when he’d thought that she was spiraling toward self-destruction…

The first warm tracks slid down his face and Daryl just stopped trying to hold it in after that.

_“When you said, "So long"_

_Left me standing all alone_

_Alone and crying, crying_

_Crying, crying”_

The crusted over bit of fabric in his hand got balled up into a tightly squeezed sphere as he gasped in more air only to choke it back out again. Great wracking breaths circulated through him, eyes and nose running while the song kept crooning at high volume around him.

_“It's hard to understand_

_But the touch of your hand_

_Can start me crying_

_I thought that I was over you”_

He curled down into the fists that rested on his knees, that same wrist pounded with an agonizing pressure that mirrored the one happening behind his eyes. He was never going to touch her again, hear her sing, he was never going to feel her agitated tossing and turning in their bed. When was the last kiss they’d shared? When had they last made love? Had he known at the time to imprint every shift of skin and voice cracking whimper into his memory? Or like an idiot, had he thought it couldn’t possibly be the last, because he was nowhere near through loving her?

_“But it's true, so true_

_I love you even more_

_Than I did before_

_But, darling, what can I do?”_

The sadness mangled him until he couldn’t breathe, crashed through his bowels until they surged up in protest and vomited out what little there was inside of him. He’d known getting pulled out of his fugue-like state was going to trash the shit out of him and anyone else nearby. And as the tendons in his neck seized and his throat constricted from the sobs and throwing up, he had a little window of time to feel relief before he all but blacked out next to his puddle of puke. His sleep was dreamless and without song.

It didn’t last nearly long enough.

He eventually got heaved to his feet, barely felt how torn up they were from the asphalt and intentionally placed boot treads, and stumbled unsteadily in the direction someone (he figured Dwight) was leading him. Daryl was beyond caring about the destination, or its outcome. There wasn’t the time right now, to think about what moment had done it for him – the band, the picture, maybe even that fucking song – but something had twisted down tight and hardened inside of him. They’d best put two in his head, because that’d definitely be easier for them.

Thought their goddamn mind games were gonna get him to kneel?

_I’ll eat m’own fuckin’ knee caps first._

They’d taken his girl.

They sure as fuck weren’t gonna get him to thank them for it too.

“Step in.”

An accompanying shove had him transferring from the cement of the hallway to the relative ease of the room’s rug. A large figure occupied the only chair, and Daryl didn’t have to look up to see who it was. Any doubt was erased when an indulgent little laugh made its way to him.

“Jesus,” Negan said, getting to his feet and leaning down for a glass of water that’d been nearby. “ _You look awful_. Don’t you worry,” he continued, “we’ll have Carson fix you all up. You thirsty?” Negan handed him the glass. “Here. Ah, hell, I forgot. Your mouth is all puffed up like a baboon’s ass.” Daryl kept his eyes averted as the man kept talking. Again, he was waiting, just waiting, to see how things were going to go.

Negan.

Guy was a talker.

Daryl _hated_ that shit.

Every awful thing the dude did was preceded by sentence after sentence until Daryl almost found himself hoping that something bad did happen just to break the monotony of having to listen.

This round of dialogue was all about Dwight’s backstory. This as it happened, was more interesting to Daryl than most of Negan’s speeches had been in the past. Getting to hear about what had happened to the guy that was currently wearing his vest, and toting his bow, was information worth listening to.

Finding out the shit Dwight had done for Sherry and her little sister Tina? That the guy had been trying to do his best to get him and his out of this shithole, and had ended up failing so goddamn miserably?

Was fucking unfortunate.

Made Daryl kind of understand why Dwight was such a bastard these days. Shit, if _he’d_ been trying to save Maggie from Negan for Beth, and things had ended up with Maggie dead and Beth _married_ to Negan in order to save _him_ – Daryl couldn’t even imagine what kind of an asshole he’d turn into because of that. Then again, he’d have never ditched the person in the woods offering him a way out.

Well, maybe he would have…

But Beth wouldn’t.

Negan kept waving Lucille around as he told the story, and while Daryl listened to everything being said, he fought off the images of what the fucking thing had done to the head he’d cradled and kissed during too few nights with her. How it had been used to bludgeon the life out of the only woman, other than his mom, that he’d ever loved. And that hardened shell inside of him condensed further down, and in many ways made him feel like he had when he was a kid. He was intensely focused on the body language of his opponent, while still being uniquely detached from his own flesh…

“The point being,” Negan said, finally wrapping up Dwight’s history and bringing things back around to Daryl. “I think _you_ can be that guy.”

So it was _still_ this same old shit.

Man wanted Daryl on his fucking squad of women and kid killers.

There _might_ have been a version of him in some alternate universe somewhere, which _might_ have been down for that. Some awful twisted type of him that’d gotten sucked into this nightmare cast of characters. Lord fucking knew how much he’d wanted to be accepted before all the world had imploded. Who knew what he’d have found himself capable of in order to please Negan?

Had done a few questionable things just to please _Rick_.

But right now? This version of him?

_Fuck no._

Not after what they’d done. And yeah, he had a hand in it too, would have his own considerable sins to atone for, but while he’d been the catalyst – this fucker in front of him had actually _done_ the deed.

“I think you are _ready_ to be that guy.” Daryl kept his eyes trained on Negan through the greasy curtain of his hair. “You look around here. This?” The bat got pointed towards the contents of the room the three of them stood in. “Well…it can all be yours. All you got to do is answer one, simple, question. Who are you?”

The answer that the bearded psycho was looking for, if the little display with his men earlier had been any indication, was _Negan_. Daryl’s breath tried to speed up, but he evened it out through force of will as Negan laughed quietly at the silence that met the question this time.

“What, does the cat got your tongue?” You’re just _overwhelmed_ by the _awesomeness_ of this?”

Distantly, Daryl enjoyed the slight amount of frustration that crept into the other man’s voice, and watched as the distance was closed slowly between the two of them. “I’m gonna ask you one more time.”

Negan was so close that Daryl, even over his own stink, could smell slight traces of something citrusy on the guy’s breath. Lucille was inches away from his chin, and the look on Negan’s face was devoid of anything resembling humor.

“Who are you?”

_“You’re Daryl.” That’s what she’d told him, back at that house he’d found in the woods, a sweet smile on her lips and his palms still warm from wrapping up her ankle. The words had sounded simple, but she’d looked at him so…sincerely, that it’d caught at his Adam’s apple and made him swallow too hard. He hadn’t even tried to dissuade her. She could be so damn stubborn about everything. “You’re the best at keepin’ me – us safe. Makes us pretty lucky I think.”_

_“You’re Daryl,” she’d murmured to him, exhausted even though he’d just woken her up. A bad night spent tossing and turning in their bed alone – had made her more fatigued than less. His nightmare fresh in his head, he’d been imprinting the feel of her along his side. “Never thought you’d do something in anythin’ other than your own time.”_

_“You’re Daryl,” she’d whispered to him, from some sort of other place, wrapping him in heat and warmth when he’d been sure that the dark was going to eat him whole. “Keep…alive.”_

He’d been focused on the barbed-wire bat, but now, his gaze dragged itself up to Negan’s eyes. It was a heavy kind of quiet that filled the room around him, and he could feel it press against his cheeks and the backs of his hands. It felt like the two other men in the room with him were holding their breath.

His was coming easy.

Who was he?

“Daryl.”

The quietest word of surprise came from Negan before Dwight began speaking. “Oh.”

“This is the only-”

“Hey!” Negan quickly cut the other man off, a hushing noise hissed out from between his teeth and his eyes never left Daryl’s. “It’s cool, D. He made his choice. Ain’t my problem if he made a _dumbass_ choice.”

Shockingly enough, they didn’t kill him.

 _Again_.

Minutes later he barely caught himself as Dwight shoved him back into his cell. Daryl had felt the fury in his jailor all the way down the winding hallway, and honestly, it showed some restraint from the guy when that was all he did. Daryl lowered himself gingerly onto the concrete floor, his bruises from the earlier beating weren’t happy with the move, but Dwight was yelling at him so Daryl pushed the pain down enough to listen.

“You’re gonna wind up in that room, or hanging on the fence!”

Daryl stayed silent, almost let the prick go.

But then…

“I get why you did it.” Dwight stopped, and Daryl kept talking, his voice the epitome of gravel and smoke. “Why you took it. You were thinking about someone else.” Dwight turned enough to meet his eye, and Daryl made sure the other man could see them. Could read him loud and fucking clear. “That’s why I can’t.”

The door shut and left him in the dark once more.

But that was ok for now.

For now, inside of him, he had the smallest bit of light of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always guys, and if there's any questions let me know.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth's plan in action. A.K.A. The chapter where Beth does NOT sleep with Negan in order to save everyone, because I hate that plot line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - I'm baaaack! Ok so the only reason this is getting uploaded is because I told a couple people that I'd have something posted this week. That being said, PEEPS, I am struggling with trying to get my fic groove back. I was working on chap 36 today and half of it got erased and as I was rewriting it I lost all ability to keep tense and chemistry going :| But I'm also really tired, as you all might have been able to tell from the rambling, so that might have been the reason. Hope you like this chapter, and that it makes sense and all that. We are, thank god, almost done with the crazy canon story line for a little bit so that'll be good.
> 
> Also, remember that these chapters are overlapping one another with their events, so going back and reading the last chapter might be a good idea since it's been a minute since I posted anything.
> 
> Happy Reading!

**Chapter 34**

 

"What in the hell are you talkin' about Sugar?" Beth kept her face blank as Negan sauntered a step closer. "What do you mean you wanna  _ sing _ ?"

She'd thought it'd be harder to get a meeting with him. The man struck her as one whose own importance took up a lot of his time. But here they were, Sherry waiting nearby with an almost bored expression that was doing a poor job of masking her anxiety. The metal walkway under their feet wound itself like a rusted vein through the warehouse where the workers milled mutely underneath. It had been about a day since she'd seen Daryl, and the state he'd been in had nagged at her like the pull of her new stiches whenever she unthinkingly caught them on something.

"Sherry told me I wasn't allowed to let Daryl see me," she said, and waited for Negan's nod to continue. "Well, last time Dwight walked me by where he was bein' kept I heard music loud enough to split my eardrums."

"You lookin' to lodge a  _ complaint _ ?" 

She pressed her lips together in order to stop the impulse to roll her eyes at his mocking tone.

"I just didn't want ta' break any rules that might make things worse." Negan's gaze plowed its way through her, and Beth sent up vapor and mist to meet his search. "If there's no chance of him hearin' me I wanted to get your permission to sing while I'm workin' or walkin' about the grounds with whatever guard I've got with me."

"My  _ permission _ huh?" He seemed pleased but suspicious, which didn't surprise her in the least. The Savior's leader was brutal, not stupid, which is why she hadn't tried to beg forgiveness before asking permission like she normally would have. "I like the sound of that. Says to me, you got a good mind as to what your place is in this little ecosystem."

Beth blinked back at him silently.

"Still," he said, sucking thoughtfully at his teeth before shaking his head. "How do I know you aren't planning to take  _ advantage _ of my  _ generous nature _ ?" His hand went to cover his leather shielded heart. "You might take the opportunity to send little coded messages to your friends or something, and I can't  _ have that _ ."

Her throat did its damnedest to constrict and choke her. She quirked her mouth to distract the leering man's attention. The air had taken a sudden spike into an atmosphere of immediate danger, but she had to keep going if she ever hoped to get her family out.

"Then you pick the songs, or the genre, whatever." A shrug punctuated the statement before she continued. "It brought me an' my people some comfort, thought it might do the same for yours."

He watched her for an unknown amount of time. Eyes keen to pick up on the merest twitch of her expression, or change of shade in her eyes. If he denied her the ability to sing, then Beth would have to start back at square one in the plans department. And she didn’t know if Daryl had that kind of time. 

Negan eased back away from her, his expression going thoughtful for a long stretch. "You know any Springsteen, or Petty?"

A sigh bubbled its way into her mouth. It died there before it got the chance to pass her lips and screw everything up. Beth squinted slightly as she tried to remember, those singers hadn't exactly been artists she'd listened to regularly. At her uncertain nod Negan was quiet again for several more moments.

"Alright, I guess it won't hurt to have a designated morale booster. Keep the workers happy." He leaned back in towards her. "But only when you get the all clear from me or one of my people. You hear me Sugar?" Beth nodded, but stilled when the small space between them shrunk even further, the smell of warm leather struck nostalgia and anger in her as he spoke. "And what am I gonna get in return for this bit of leeway that I'm letting happen? Huh?"

Sherry shifted uncomfortably behind her, and it pulled Negan's attention long enough for Beth to stifle her usually nonexistent gag reflex.

"A genuine thank you?" From things he'd said and things she'd heard, there was a reasonable amount of certainty that no one would be trying to force her into anything like Gorman had attempted. Which, Beth thought with a vicious conviction, would be the only fucking way anything like  _ that _ would be happening. "I might need some lyrics if you're plannin' on making requests."

His focus back on her, Negan dragged his gaze from her hips to her hair and back down to her side. A corkscrew cranked her spine tightly when his hand wrapped around her cloth covered arm and pulled it up to inspect it closely. She had to ramp down her desire to wrench away from his grasp. To hide the bit of old shirt that twined her arm, like it was an old wound, one that threatened to become infectious, that would then poison her coursing blood.

"Think I might need a little bit more than that," he said, plucking idly at the Daryl-cinched knot that had basically fused itself together past any point of ever being untied. "You can sing whatever you want 'til I get those lyrics found for you."

There wasn't an actual negotiation going on, not really. He suspected her plan perhaps, but there was no way for him or any of his people to know what lyrics would mean what to the captives from Alexandria. Negan probably thought he'd be able to stop any of her family from hearing her to begin with, and if that didn't work, the man was so sure of his superiority he no doubt figured he could stop whatever attempt they made. Might even bank on Beth’s words to tip the Saviors off to a plan before it got put into motion.

Well, they'd see about that.

At her nod, he pulled a small knife from his pocket, the thing was employed more for utility than damage she could tell, but she made note of it regardless. As he sawed through the threadbare cloth with obvious relish, Beth couldn't help the words that tumbled from her mouth.

"Why do you even want it?"

His grin was all the answer she needed.

Just like the music she'd heard, that song playing again and again.

They just wanted another way to torture him.

When Sherry led her away a few minutes later, Beth kept rubbing at the sensitive skin of her forearm until it itched and felt burnt in its irritation. She had kind of hoped that it wouldn't have been so obvious, her plan, but perhaps it was too much to wish for, to have stupid captors that were easy to shake loose of. But she'd planned on that. Contingencies had already been considered and applied.

Songs were funny things. Her mama used to call certain songs 'ear worms' and say they could spread like a sickness, getting stuck in one brain after another. Maybe they'd lock her people up tight while she was out and about, but if she could sing well enough and loud enough just maybe it would get back to them anyhow. A hum, a murmured lyric, complaints about the blonde girl who kept singing about  _ holdin’ on. _

Anything would do.

They put her to work, sewing, cooking, cleaning, one of Negan's soldiers near at hand kept watch over her. After a little while Sherry came and told the guard that Beth was allowed to sing for the next hour. 

So she filled the area she inhabited with the first melody she’d picked. The notes tasted bittersweet on her tongue as she began, the words lifting themselves like walkers from a mass grave and staggering through her mind. But it was necessary, the best way to catch the attention of certain people while, God willing, baffling those trying to decipher any hidden meanings in it. 

_ “Oh, you gotta hold on, hold on _

_ You gotta hold on _

_ Take my hand, I’m standing right here, you gotta hold on” _

The first time she started the song, many of the workers around her pulled up short and listened for several lines before hurrying to go about their work. Beth varied her volume, intentionally quieting slightly on the verses before once more belting out the chorus.

_ “Oh, but you gotta hold on, hold on _

_ Babe, you gotta hold on and take my hand _

_ I’m standing right here, you gotta hold on” _

She hoped it got to them, Glenn, Carl, and Sasha, she’d sang it often enough while they stayed at the prison. It had, in a way, become their theme song. Their mantra. She’d get requests for it now and again. By the end of their respite behind the fences and concrete walls, almost all of her people had known it by heart. Probably even Daryl, though she’d never heard him so much as hum the tune. He’d always managed to turn up when it got sang though, broad frame trying to tuck itself back into some dark alcove while the lyrics swam around the metal bars and privacy sheets. 

If the others heard it now, they’d, with any luck, get the message not to do anything dumb. To hold tight until she gave them another sign and it’d  _ also _ be great if it brought them a little comfort as well. But she’d settle for them  _ not _ doing anything homicidal for now.   

When she’d finished her second run through, it was her assigned time to stop anyhow, and Beth dutifully quit even the barest note from continuing. They had her cleaning out a large fireplace or furnace of some kind, and she kept her head down and did as she was bid. It was dirty work but it left her plenty of focus to consider the next song she’d do and when. She doubted Negan would give her much time to sing whatever she wanted. He probably had people scouring the sanctuary for things like CD booklets, or the like, that came with lyrics. Her knowledge of the singers he’d mentioned being what it was, she could only hope they had something she could use.

A whistle sent everyone to their knees. She was already down, not from any fake show of submission, she’d been sweeping up some ashes from around the furnace’s heavy metal door. Unsurprisingly her newest nightmare-made-flesh strolled through the cowering masses and paused in front of her with one of his customary smiles.

“Hey, you wanna take a turn around the gardens with me?”

Beth got to her feet and dusted her blackened hands on the stained material of her jeans. The Sanctuary didn’t really have gardens from what she’d seen, so he was attempting to be funny again. Without a word she began following him as he led her, him and the few rough-neck looking men that had been with him, outside. The place was littered with small buildings and sheds, like smaller fish hovering at the jaws of the shark that, in this case, was the main factory building. 

Negan set a slow and meandering course. Beth’s eyes ticked by every doorway and the eyes of the men that looked back at her through them. Something was happening. That chunk of ice in her gut didn’t actually need to be there in order for her to realize that events were about to go into motion. Someone had done something, or Negan was looking to flex his dominance some more. The slight breeze that fought its way through the maze of structures hissed its way up her sweat soaked back, and she gritted her teeth to stop the shiver. 

“Got the reviews back on your performance,” he said at last. “Five stars, nine of ten would listen again. You got some pipes as sweet as your nickname, Sugar.” He stopped them by one of the large rusted shipping containers. She glanced at the patchy blue stencil of a river that covered its side as Negan continued to talk. “I’m minutes away from havin’ your new and improved play list ready to go. Now, I won’t be here for a bit tomorrow so you got plenty of time to practice, because I’ll be takin’ that big stinking man of yours with me to do some business.”

She didn’t know how to take all of this, his sudden transparency, it made her tense. 

“It’s up to him how much he enjoys the trip. We’re gonna see if he’s learned a damn thing since this all started.” Negan gave her a wolfish grin before leaning around the edge of the container just as one of the doors nearby burst open and the sounds of bare feet slapping asphalt made it to them. Negan  _ tsked _ and jerked his head in that direction, more doors began to open. “You get to watch,” he said, voice so low she barely heard it as her heart lodged itself against her teeth. “But remember, no matter what happens,” he tapped a gloved finger against his lips, “he doesn’t see you, he doesn’t hear you. Or shit’ll get real  _ R rated _ out here. You understand?”

She nodded.

He grinned, and began whistling once more.

Beth waited. She waited until she heard him speaking, waited until she could be reasonably sure that all of Daryl’s attention would be geared towards the bat-wielding man. Because of course those had been  _ his _ bare feet against the blacktop. Stupid of her, to forget the main person most likely to cause a problem, that man of hers better hope he didn’t remember what she’d told him in his cell. A jail break directly after receiving a concussion that was compounded with some blood loss was not his surest route of staying alive. Which is what she’d friggin’  _ told _ him to do.

_ He thinks yer dead… _

Since when had the voice in her head roughened up and developed a more noticeable twang?

_ Might cut him some slack. _

So incredibly slowly, Beth peeked out around the side of the shipping container. They were a good ways off. Buildings to either side tunneled her view until all she could make out were a few bikes and the figures of Negan and Daryl. Other men were strewn around but she didn’t give them a single glance.

_ Daryl. _

They’d clothed him at least. His form was recognizably animalistic as he kept his side facing Negan while the other man spoke. She knew that stance, knew that it was to keep everything vital as far away from his opponent as he could without actually turning his back. The hunkered stance said  _ fight or flight _ had been suspended and he was waiting to see which one he’d need to employ. 

Without realizing it, she’d reached up and wrapped her hand around the edge of the container’s open door. It creaked bad-naturedly in response, and Beth found herself crouched low to the ground, right hand to the hot asphalt to keep her steady. It was very unlikely that any sort of noise would pull Daryl’s sight her way, but she wasn’t willing to risk it. Just as she wasn’t quite willing to look away from him as the scenario played out. 

He’d always seemed so large to her, mythically so. Now, seeing the other predators circling him, she was confronted with the image of him as a boy. Small but packed to bursting with a will to live, to survive – almost rabidly so. She also saw the dispassionate forces stacked against him, how they played with him. How Negan sneered as he poked Lucille at the ground near Daryl’s exposed feet. How he flicked a glance _her_ _way_ to make sure she was watching. The nails of her right hand gathered gravel underneath them as her splayed fingers went into a fist. The nails of her left hand made the metal whine as it too clenched where it rested.

_ "I wish…I wish that I could kill him for ya." _

She’d meant it then and she meant it now.

Beth heard Negan’s voice a moment before the bat was swung. Daryl’s name was a banshee in her throat and she nearly tore the fool thing out in order to smother the sound that fought its way free. Her hands clamped claw-like over her mouth, she dug dirtied and broken nails into the flesh of her cheeks until the desire to scream stopped. The attack hadn’t followed through, and if she’d screamed like her soul had told her to, Negan would have used the excuse to follow through on his next swing.

And there was her man. 

He hadn’t even fucking flinched.

A savage pride howled within her, even as she wanted to curse him for being so damned reckless. She wanted so much to let him know she was still with him, still breathing, because through that masking curtain of his hair she could tell he was a sallow mess. That vibrant life, that roughened armor, that sweet heart and soul that loved far more fiercely than anyone she’d ever known. It was all cracked and leaking out in the baking Virginia heat. 

Negan walked towards her as his men started raining down blows, and once more Beth found herself sinking into coldness. She had to. To release the death grip she’d had on her own skin. She straightened silently as the bearded sadist strolled by her with a beckoning flick of his fingers. As easy as jerking her heart out, one gushing bit of tissue at a time – Beth pulled her sight from the scene, her ears ringing with the sickening song made from the men’s fists and boots colliding with Daryl’s body. 

She was escorted back to her room without another word, and a pile of tattered lyrics laid waiting for her on her borrowed bed. As  _ promised _ . It was almost uncontrollable, her need to lash out, to put voice to what she’d seen and what was happening to Daryl, to all of them. Jerked around by their strings. Beth wanted to turn all those frayed booklets and their scrawling words to confetti, and then ram the jagged wad down Negan’s overused throat. 

But she had work to do.

Gritting her teeth until they creaked in protest, she crawled on top of the bed and began leafing through the contents before her. Negan, or some lackey, had circled “Born to Run” in one of the Springsteen collections. Beth felt the paper slice her skin as she fisted the faded gloss of the page. 

He thought he was  _ so _ on top of things, that his force of flatfooted sycophants was unbeatable, and that his willingness to go for the pain instead of the kill was some kind of ultimate strategy. 

She’d have to test that.

Sleep happened at some point. 

She woke to the news that Negan and a group, including Daryl, had been taken to Alexandria. Sherry told her that Negan had looked displeased and that Daryl had still been in his tattered jumpsuit. He still hadn’t kneeled. Well honestly, Beth didn’t know what Negan had been expecting. Maybe her man, her family, was made of different stuff than the others the murderer had been dealing with so far. He’d taken the wrong path. Negan thought he’d scare them and beat them into submission.

He was only going to make them sharper – in her mind’s eye Beth saw the lot of them being hammered into a denser and strengthened mass – something that Negan wasn’t going to be able to shatter.

“You’re going to have to give me something.” Beth pulled up short and turned to stare at the brunet who was escorting her through the compound. Sherry scanned the area around them too conspicuously, large eyes blinking rapidly and shaking hands fidgeting every which way, before she seemed able to get ahold of herself. The woman was inconsistent, which was a liability, but Beth wasn’t drowning in options for cohorts at the moment. “Negan’s starting to suspect something, I can tell.”

“It’s been a  _ day _ ,” Beth said, the implication laying heavily in what she left unspoken.

“I never have anything I can give him about what we talk about.” That was true enough. Beth had found out some pretty interesting things about Sherry’s circumstances and was fully employing that knowledge to get free, but not giving half as much information in return. “I need something, something he can…can use t-to.”

“Fuck with Daryl even more than he already  _ has _ ?” She wasn’t sure when the cussing thing had picked up so much steam. Dying eliminated some lingering inhibitions maybe. “What else could he  _ possibly _ expect to get from me to help with that?”

He’d already taken her bracelet. One of the last ties she’d been able to physically touch and feel, like she was just that much closer to Daryl. Negan didn’t know what it had meant, not really, but it had felt like losing a limb, or an appendage at the very least.

“ _ Look _ ,” Sherry said, the word clipped out before she paused to breathe once more. “You want this…” Steps sounded not too far off and they both began walking once more. “This plan to work out, we have  _ got _ to get him off your scent a little. And to do that, we’ve gotta make him think he’s getting what he wants.”

“You’re supposed to be gettin’ on my good side.” Beth affirmed, nodding as they turned another corner, passing the rust and river-blue flecked container that was a stone’s throw from the motorcycles that had witnessed Daryl’s beating yesterday.

Sherry made a soft scoffing noise. “Little does he know you haven’t got one.”

Beth’s mouth curved slightly but that was it. Admittedly she was depending heavily on Sherry, much more heavily than she’d originally wanted or expected to, but it was necessary. She had a plan, and it unfortunately hinged on the other woman’s information and willingness to participate. If her radar for people hadn’t told her that Dwight’s unwilling ex-wife wasn’t a terrible person, Beth would have been up shit’s creek. 

If Sherry said she needed something to distract Negan, it was probably true. Lord knew Sherry was far  _ far _ more acquainted with him than Beth was. That didn’t make her hate the idea any less. Of helping them to hurt Daryl when he was already so fractured as it was…no. No, not fractured, not broken. She could never apply that descriptor to him, would never. Daryl might have gone through things, was going through them now, that made him  _ feel _ broken. But he never would be.

To be broken, was to be wrong, corrupt at a base level. It implied he needed to be fixed, and there was nothing that needed to be  _ fixed _ in Daryl. What needed  _ that _ , was this situation, and in order for that to happen, things might have to get a little more tore up than they were already.

She of course knew the thing. The one that they could use, that would make him truly miserable beyond all hope and reason. Beth could only have faith that perhaps Daryl had already thought out this possibility, and that Negan rubbing it in his face wouldn’t make him snap. The betrayal rolled around her empty womb as she swallowed and told Sherry what she needed to know.

“We thought I might be pregnant,” she said, refusing to look at the woman as Sherry’s neck snapped in Beth’s direction at the admission. “I was pretty sure I wasn’t…but Daryl he…” Her eyes burned, and her gaze went heavenward to keep the tears in her ducts. “I could tell he kept thinkin’ I was. I was able to take a test,” she continued, leaving out any details about the Hilltop doctor. “Found out I wasn’t for sure, but then all this happened with Negan, and I didn’t get a chance to tell him. My family knew though, my sister, and Michonne, if Negan told Daryl he’d found out I was pregnant. That’d do it, he’d believe it.”

“Because he wanted you to be?” Sherry asked quietly, but Beth refused to answer one way or another. 

They’d gotten their pound of flesh, even if Sherry was ultimately trying to help, she was still going to deliver the message to Negan. And there was only so much that Beth was willing to let go of. There was only so much she herself knew.

Had he?

Or had he been so terrified and possessed such a guilty conscious that he couldn’t allow himself to think anything less awful was capable of happening?

Would it have been so awful?

But that immediately brought up thoughts of them together. Him, gently gripping her jaw so that he could slide his tongue into her, while his thrusts turned snapping and desperate.

She couldn’t think about that now.

Couldn’t think of pregnancy – because that made her think about her sister – and she’d had no word about Maggie’s condition. 

Sherry took her silence in stride and the two continued to the next place where Beth would be working. She had her appointed playlist. Sang “Born to Run” in the warehouse where Negan stopped his rounds to grin at her while she slowed down the tempo into something mournful. It didn’t matter what she sang in this place, far from where any of her family was being kept. She switched to Tom Petty’s “Wildflowers” and saw Negan’s smirk die by confused degrees. He’d probably expected her to belt out the first song until there was some serious likelihood of the others hearing it. But instead she sang those two songs over and over again in each area she was taken to work at. Quieting to a hum now and then. 

Negan thought he knew all she was capable of?

_ Try again you smirkin’ prick.       _

Her volume and with it, her intent, only changed the  _ next day _ when she encountered those areas where the guards on duty rarely ever changed out except to sleep. The places where, she had it on good authority, her family was being kept. At those places, a side building that housed Glenn, under a second floor window where Sasha paced, and near her own room where Carl was, Beth crooned out a tune she’d never heard before. One that Negan had been helpful enough to supply her with.

– “ _ The River” _

_ “I come from down in the valley  _ _   
_ _ where mister when you're young  _ _   
_ _ They bring you up to do like your daddy done  _ _   
_ _ Me and Mary we met in high school  _ _   
_ _ when she was just seventeen  _ _   
_ __ We'd ride out of this valley down to where the fields were green” 

The song was an innocuous one, harmless really, and the leers she got from some of Negan’s thugs made it obvious they thought she was singing a sad love song over that wild man they still had locked up in a cell. They were used to her singing one song over and over again too, probably thinking her blonde coloring made her vapid. That, coupled with her age, and no doubt she looked like a dumb girl who could only memorize a song or two at any one time.  _   
_ _   
_ _ “We'd go down to the river  _ _   
_ _ And into the river we'd dive  _ _   
_ __ Oh down to the river we'd ride”

Her voice rang out, loud, clear, and strong. She couldn’t drown out Daryl’s “Easy Street” maybe, but if everything worked out the way it should, he shouldn’t ever have to hear it again after today.  __ _   
_ _   
_ _ “Then I got Mary pregnant  _ _   
_ _ and man that was all she wrote  _ _   
_ _ And for my nineteenth birthday I got a union card and a wedding coat  _ _   
_ _ We went down to the courthouse  _ _   
_ _ and the judge put it all to rest  _ _   
_ _ No wedding day smiles no walk down the aisle  _ _   
_ __ No flowers no wedding dress”

She wanted to choke when she sang the verse near Glenn’s quarters, her brother-in-law’s stricken face was a living thing in her mind. If she was worried sick over Maggie, so worried she’d pushed it to the far reaches of her mind, than Glenn must be a wreck.  __ _   
_ _   
_ _ “That night we went down to the river  _ _   
_ _ And into the river we'd dive  _ _   
_ _ Oh down to the river we did ride”  _ _   
_ _   
_ The next verse was all but hummed before she got to the end. Each line built until the last of it was once again sung out, the loudest thing heard. Melody seeping through the cavernous rooms of rust and despair. Workers had begun to seek her out during their rest times over the past couple of days, and during this last performance she had quite the audience built up.  _   
_ _   
_ _ “But I remember us riding in my brother's car  _ _   
_ _ Her body tan and wet down at the reservoir  _ _   
_ _ At night on them banks I'd lie awake  _ _   
_ _ And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take  _ _   
_ _ Now those memories come back to haunt me  _ _   
_ _ they haunt me like a curse  _ _   
_ _ Is a dream a lie if it don't come true  _ _   
_ _ Or is it something worse  _ _   
_ _ that sends me down to the river  _ _   
_ _ though I know the river is dry  _ _   
_ _ That sends me down to the river tonight  _ _   
_ _ Down to the river  _ _   
_ _ my baby and I  _ _   
_ __ Oh down to the river we ride”

There was a hesitant round of clapping and Beth smiled politely, nodding at the workers, skipping her gaze across the guards that looked various levels of irritated or bored. She was so close to making this happen, of getting her family out, of getting Daryl back. Sherry had confessed to her yesterday her own wish to escape. Beth had offered her a safe place, but oddly enough, the woman wanted to go off on her own. Before Grady, before a lot of what she’d seen since, Beth might have tried to convince Sherry to join them. But she couldn’t save everyone, not if they didn’t want it. So Sherry was going to snatch the keys the group would need to get away.

On the motorcycles.

The ones near the shipping containers.

One in particular, stenciled with blue waving lines, and RIVER SHIPPING CO. painted in bold. 

Glenn, Sasha, and Carl had better have been able to figure out the code – because she sure as shit hadn’t been referencing the Potomac with her song choice. 

“ _ That sends me down to the river tonight _ ,” she sang again, and some of those who were quicker to pick up on the lyrics joined her until the tune ended and people began shuffling back to work or their lodgings. 

She’d asked Sherry to drop off the key to Daryl’s bike with him before she took her leave. There was no way he’d be able to ignore the temptation to bolt once more, not with key in hand. And when Beth had seen Dwight with it after the Saviors had come back from Alexandria yesterday, she’d known that was  _ one _ of the three things she’d be getting back from that thieving asshole.  

As the hours took days to go by, Beth could feel anticipation and anxiety roiling away inside of her. The sun stretched and took its sweet time falling from its zenith. By the time it got to be around three o’clock, it felt like her skin was going to crawl off her bones and begin the escape plan early.

She’d been assigned to sort through the goods brought in from one of the settlements, from the amount of produce it looked like Hilltop. It was barely enough of a chore to keep her busy, and she was nearly grateful when Dwight’s lanky frame came into view and strode over to her.

“C’mon, you’re comin’ with me.” He gave a curt nod to the man in charge of babysitting her. The guy shrugged a response and walked away. “Let’s go.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

He was agitated, and like Sherry, not good at hiding it.

“Negan wants to talk to you.” Dwight gripped her arm and yanked her along until she matched his quick loping pace. They weaved through the warehouse and its workers for a few moments before he spoke again. “He’s in a meeting with the generals so you gotta move your ass, and you’d better hope you have whatever answers he’s wanting.”

“I’ll try,” she said, but the lie was a bad one and Dwight’s scarred face twisted into a deeper scowl when their eyes met.

“You better  _ more _ than try.” They’d been headed through a hallway, cloudy light making it in through the dirt smeared windows, when he stopped and turned to her. “That old hillbilly of yours is becoming more of a pain than he’s worth. Negan’s getting tired of how goddamn  _ uncooperative _ he’s bein’.”

They didn’t know. Her heart rate had been slamming against the nerves in her teeth, but there was something about Dwight’s anger that actually made her feel more at ease. Had he acted like this was just another powwow with the boss, she’d have been dead certain they’d figured things out. 

“What the hell is wrong with you people?”

Beth opened her mouth to respond to him, probably with something that would have gotten her into more trouble, when there was an audible sound of impact and a grunt. She and Dwight both turned to see what was going on. One of Negan’s soldiers had Glenn up against the wall of the next building over. Her brother-in-law’s hands were up, and he was clearly trying to reason with the man before the brute cranked back and rammed his fist once more into Glenn’s stomach.

“Seriously?” Dwight stepped to the nearest window and wrapped loudly on the glass. “Wilkerson! What the fuck are you doing?”

The big man that still held Glenn, turned to see who was hollering at him, and Beth gasped as Wilkerson crumpled to the ground. Peering in shock, just as motionless as the man beside her, Beth recognized Jesus in his long leather coat. Dwight cursed darkly and made a move towards the nearest door. 

He got about a quarter of the way there before Beth caught him by Daryl’s vest. Reaching up and plunging her hand into his greasy locks, she wrenched his larger body over until his head collided with a thud and crack against the wall. He managed to keep his feet and whipped drunkenly around to swing wildly at her, but Beth had already leapt well out of his reach.

_ “Ya never let ‘em get a hand on ya. Tha’s the first thing alrigh’? With yer size, you ain’t lookin’ t’ grapple with nobody. S’like Michonne with that blade a’ hers, ya wanna be anywhere they ain’t. They do get a’ hold of ya, you go straight for the fucker’s nuts, ya hear me? Don’ care if ya gotta rip the damn things off, get yourself enough time ta’ take yer knife to ‘im”  _

“You bitch, y—”

He tried to dive for her. Beth desperately held onto what focus she could, but things were incredibly less controlled than her sparring sessions had been. Her next dodge wasn’t as successful and she felt a large hand twist up and hold fast to her shirt. Without thought, her knee snapped up and rammed home…or she thought it had. She must have connected with mostly thigh, because Dwight grunted but didn’t drop. He hunched in slightly and she clocked how he favored the one leg while trying to get another hand on her. Kicking at the weakened limb, Beth fell with him in a heap onto the concrete floor. Panic was flavoring her movements and thoughts, she knew if it overwhelmed her, things would come to a swift end and not in her favor.

Beth rolled and twisted savagely away, remotely noticing that Daryl’s bow had swung forward in the fall and was helpfully encumbering her opponent and his attempts to keep his hold. Fabric tore, and then she was free. There was no knife though, plus she couldn’t risk the mess. 

Pity.

Lunging back in, Beth grabbed anything attached to Dwight’s skull, and heaving upward, came down with all the force her arms and body could muster. There was a more substantial  _ thunking _ noise, and then he was finally still. Still breathing though. That was ok. For now. Air seared in and out of her lungs as she checked around her for any signs that the confrontation had been heard. 

All quiet.

She got to her feet with a bit of a wobble and looked outside. No body. No Jesus. No Glenn. But there were still no sounds of alarm. Beth reached down and unflinchingly wrestled first the bow, and then the vest, from the unconscious body.

“These. Aren’t.  _ Yours _ .” 

Her words hissed angrily through her teeth, and it didn’t matter if he could hear her or not. Beth dragged his heavy frame into the nearest maintenance closet, and began jogging to where the motorcycles were parked. Their keys were hidden in that river shipping container. If Jesus and Glenn hadn’t gone after the others, which she couldn’t imagine, they’d wind up there eventually. Unless…unless he hadn’t figured out the message. She’d told Sherry to wait as closely to night time as she could to give Daryl his key – what if…

She shook her head and kept her pace up.

She could only have faith.

“Come on guys, we’re almost out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so there's that, next week sometime I am hoping to have the next chapter up. Not to mention I have ideas for like three other fics including a sequel to Fix...so...yeah. Summer vacation's going to look about as busy as my school year. :D


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Yikes hey this was supposed to be up this morning but I wanted to go over it again and feel a little more sure about it considering how important of a chapter it is. And then of course work and life happened so yeah. Hope you guys don't mind it's a bit later, and I also hope you like it and let me know. 
> 
> For those of you who haven't kept up on the show, try not to freak out when you read the first part of this chapter. You'll know what I mean shortly. :D
> 
> Here it is guys, I wish you all happy reading.

**Chapter 35**

 

Negan took him to Alexandria to haul goods and show off his beaten state to Rick.

Daryl had actually thought that’d be the worst part of his day. Looking his family in the eye, or being unable to, after getting Beth killed. 

Surely he couldn’t sink any lower –

But as he stared at Maggie Rhee’s grave, and felt the last strands of his sanity start to fray, it was disgustingly clear just how wrong he’d been. Daryl knew he would never kneel, but that didn’t mean he’d be able to hold onto that little bit of light he’d found only this morning. 

His first awful thought had been – 

_ How’m I gonna tell Beth about this? _

The sadness at the idea of having to break the news to his girl, had then been fucking  _ obliterated _ by a far more immense despair when his brain caught up a millisecond later. 

He’d seen this whole family die.

Annette and Shawn as walkers, outside of the old Greene barn. Hershel on his knees in front of the Governor. Beth…his imagination had filled in any missing details that had happened there to horrific clarity. And now Maggie. Maggie and Glenn’s baby.

His and Beth’s baby too maybe…

It wasn’t only the pain, he realized sometime later that day, as he watched the Saviors burn the Alexandrian’s beds, knowing all the while that his and Beth’s bed lay among the crackling heap. But it was the sweet things too, that were making him become steadily more fucked up. 

It was a sign of his brain’s disconnect to the shit around him, he figured, that as they’d pushed him towards the parked convoy earlier this morning he’d heard it. A random Sanctuary worker, a youngish girl with dark hair, had been humming a song that could have been one that Beth used to sing at the prison. It was off key and meandering, and he’d probably been imagining it, but the sound had struck the air from his lungs, made him stumble over flat ground.   

When they reached the Saviors’ home once more, Daryl was shoved in the direction of his cell. He went, without growl or hesitation. It was getting bad, in his head, worse than it had been when he was a kid even. Back when he’d had to leave himself, watch his old man whoop him from miles away. Come back to take care of what was left of the flesh later on. But this agony was frighteningly more constant than his younger year torments had been. All that he loved was dying around him. Either because of him, or him unable to stop it.

Made him ashamed.

Made him start to think it might be a good thing if he never went back. Back home, to Alexandria. Today had been hellacious. And that was before they’d been led to the gravesite. 

Seeing Rick. 

The haggard and nearly distraught level of concern that’d been in his brother’s eyes. How could Rick have even  _ wanted _ to look at him? After what Daryl had done? It’d been impossible for him to meet Rick’s eye. Something too close to gratitude had filled him, when Negan ordered no talking  _ or _ looking between the two of them. He hadn’t been ready, and all those feelings of losing her, of being the cause, had come wailing back.

And Glenn.

_ Fuck. _

Glenn was somewhere in this compound with him.

Was Negan going to tell him about Maggie? Was he going to make Daryl do it? 

His last dogfood sandwich bubbled up in his gut and threatened to make a sudden reappearance at the idea. Fucking Christ, there was no way. He’d end up swallowing his own goddamn tongue with the attempt. How the fucking  _ fuck _ was he supposed to tell Glenn, his family, about the worst news in the world? That Daryl had managed to get both the sisters, not just Beth, both the babies, not just his, killed? Would Negan let Glenn kill him then?

He kind of hoped so.

His cell was dark and stifling, and silent only the length of time it took him to begin to dose, before that piece of shit song got cranked onto full volume once more. 

Time went by, but Daryl figured it was only because the fickle bitch couldn’t stop completely. 

Every now and again he was brought food. Every now and again he was dragged out of his hole in the wall and made to work. Every now and again…he’d swear to God he’d see a flash of blonde out of the corner of his eye. But every time he flicked his sight in whatever direction, nothing was ever there. 

Just another sign he was losing it. 

There was no way for him to track days really, but some amount of time after he’d been hauled back to the relative relief of his cell, and perhaps an hour into him slowly smacking the back of his head against the wall to the beat of “Easy Street” someone opened his door just as the music was cut off. Light cut into his eyes. Daryl threw a hand up to block the needling pain, and after blinking a few times, dropped it to be punished with the sight of Negan glowering down at him.

“Hey,” the big man said, leather creaking as he crouched just inside the room. “Just wanted to say, I meant it, what I told Rick by the gravesite. That’s super shitty, what happened to Glenn’s baby mama.”

_ Wife. _

Negan’s eyes closed for a few beats, just long enough to get Daryl’s attention. The man took a deep breath before continuing. “And look, I don’t really do this but I wanted to apologize, about your girl.” His stomach cartwheeled as his eyes narrowed at the sudden show of contrition, didn’t say anything as he held Negan’s gaze. “If I’d known she was pregnant like her sister, well, I draw the line at babies ya know what I mean?”

Daryl’s stomach stopped cartwheeling and plunged down into the floor.

_ No, no fuckin’ way. How would he? _

His glare gave him away and Negan’s expression ticked into exasperation.

“Man, Rick told me alright? Michonne had told him, so if you guys were hoping to keep it a secret…”

_ Michonne _ .

_ Hilltop _ .

She’d gone with Beth. Rick had told him, while he prowled the fence line after their fight and tried to calm down. She and Maggie had been with Beth when it should have been him. 

His stomach came off the floor and flew out of his mouth. Negan barely managed to get out of the way in time. Daryl heaved and retched, the lack of oxygen spotted his vision until he wished once more to pass out like he had before. 

He’d suspected. 

Thought it was so, even when Beth told him otherwise. He hadn’t given her a chance to tell him. Hadn’t got to tell her it’d be alright, and he would have, no matter how big a lie it was. He’d have made that shit a reality, he’d have…

But he hadn’t.

Hadn’t kept her safe,  _ them _ safe.

“Woah! Woah,  _ woah _ .” Daryl was vaguely aware of his visitor backing away. “What the hell? Don’t tell me you didn’t  _ know _ ? You two were all Bonnie ‘n Clyde and shit. Why in the fuck wouldn’t she tell you?” Between his gasped breaths, Daryl heard Negan musingly answer his own question. “Unless it wasn’t yours? Think lil’ miss prom queen was messin’ around? Women’ll do that, gotta keep ‘em  _ satisfied _ if ya know what I mean.”

There was a chuckle and the door shut, putting him once again in complete darkness. He didn’t give one single fuck over that last dig. Man could say whatever he wanted about the why. 

Daryl knew. 

Unfortunately he knew every miserable detail.

He’d refused to ask her, and at the end next to the roadside, he’d heard her screaming even though she’d never made a sound. Daryl had known without Beth telling him, that she’d always wanted to be a mom. It had been easy to see, every day she took care of Judy. How happy it’d made her. With how stubborn she was, girl would’a still had kids no matter what. If that’s she’d wanted. Beth had been fearless about being herself. She’d have made it work, them work, as a family.

He was crying again, moaning into the bile and cement floor underneath his face. 

But he didn’t lose consciousness this time. It galloped out into an eternity that was measured with his breaths. Spiraled away from him until he could no longer see its form or end, and his mind slipped into a nothingness that felt like dreaming. 

He almost missed the lock’s tick, the sound of the paper being slid underneath his door.

Even when he did put the sounds together into something worth noticing, it still took him a good deal of time to claw his way through the mess to reach the new addition of his cell. His proximity to the floor, to the small hint of light that made it in from the hallway, allowed him to just make out the words written next to the familiar key.

_ Go Now  _

Another trick?

A last test?

He didn’t fucking care.

It was like reassembling his body, to climb up to stand on two feet like a man. Almost harder than it was worth, he could probably manage just as well on all fours at this point. The halls were quiet, and his brain was all wreckage and jagged edges. 

He heard an argument, some breaking glass, he watched shards and pickles slide out from the next hallway up and quickly darted into the first room he could get into. 

A little snooping, the beast in him sniffing about, he put together it was Dwight’s place – little carved soldiers and shit around. Daryl decimated the man’s food stores while changing into some spare clothes. His ears, despite the state he was in, were sharp and he listened intently as the two in the hall cleaned up their mess and finally passed him by. 

When it was silent he went out again, a hat pulled down low to cover some of his face, clothes all the wrong sizes, but it was less clear he’d been an inmate here. He picked up some kind of rod on his way out, didn’t matter what it had been used for, what it was – it felt good in his hands so he kept it. It was time to leave or die, all of this other was too much for him to stand. 

He’d get the others out somehow, but getting away from here, it had to happen now.

Or he’d break his promise to her, wouldn’t be able to stay alive.

Someone, probably the same someone that had left him the note and the key, had shoved a matchbook to stop the outer door from latching, and just like that he was free of the building. The light was lowering. Not evening yet, still too hot, too bright, but getting there. Sun wasn’t straight overhead. Meant by the time he got free of the compound he could shake anyone tailing him in the surrounding woods. Just had to get to them – the forest would keep him safe. He scanned the area, couldn’t hear anyone, see anyone, boots on his feet this time as he ran across the pavement. 

There was his bike.

He’d made it, now he just…

“Daryl?”

_ Hallucination _ .

Things that weren’t there, sounds only in your head, something he’d become acquainted with happening to other people from a young age. Daryl gave his head a violent shake.

_ Not now Brier, gotta get the fuck outta here. _

His eyes were watering,  _ shit _ , helluva time to have that happen. Hear her voice, definitely was goin’ to need some time getting himself together before he attempted a rescue mission.

He was through getting people killed – he hoped.

Light sounds, footsteps but the person knew how to stay quiet. 

_ Threat.  _

Daryl whipped up from his quick inspection of the bike, arm tensing as he reaffirmed his hold of the pipe, head dropping a bit in case the intruder tried to take a swing at him. 

Weapon. 

_ Crossbow _ . 

His?

_ Dwight _ .

But no, his eyes tracked up the small frame and he froze.

_ Beth _ .

_ Shitfuckgoddamnsonofabitch _ –

Not now.  _ Not now _ . He was full on, as Merle would put it, tripping balls.

Christ she was  _ right _ there. She stood staring at him with pink cheeks, clean hair, wearing his vest, and toting his crossbow. The wayward light hit off her scars, made them wink at him as she took a step closer. She was whole. Skin unmarked, skull undamaged, she was alert and taking measured steps in his direction.

He took it back.

This hallucination was just fine.

“We gotta go now, ok,” she said, and a noise like a sob kicked out of his chest. It couldn’t be real. He’d fallen asleep after all, or his fraying sanity had snapped the last thread. “I’ll tell ya everythin’ that happened once we get clear, but for now we gotta find the others and get the hell away from here.”

She was two feet from him, hand raised like she was approaching a skittish horse, when another form entered his peripheral vision. 

The big guy…fuck was his name?  

One that’d brought the food that time, first time he’d been tricked, the one that’d pointed a gun at his head. And hadn’t that been Rick’s fucking gun come to think of it? He was going to  _ ruin _ everything. Any second and there’d be whistling, and men spilling out of doors. They’d beat him again and throw him back into the dark. 

_ She’ll leave me again. _

Daryl sprung forward, the vision of Beth moved swiftly to one side, and he slammed the pipe into the big man’s head. His adversary had barely seen him coming, and had never had a chance in any event. Daryl brought the pipe down again and again, making sure Negan’s man wouldn’t  _ ever _ come between him and his hallucination. Grabbing up Rick’s gun and shoving it into the waist of his pants, he took a shaking breath before turning around. Part of him was sure she’d already be gone. The moment it took to turn wasn’t nearly time enough to prepare himself for her not being there.

But instead, she just stood blinking calmly at him.

“Daryl?”

Glenn’s voice from somewhere behind him, but Beth kept her eyes locked on him so Daryl didn’t move. Just a few more moments, even if this was a dream, it’d turn nightmare any moment.

“Beth,” a man said, recognizable but barely. “Is he ok?”

Her eyes ticked to the side, and somehow this was the thing that made him start to struggle to draw in air. The way her features went from calm to stubborn, how her chin bobbed, and those wide eyes narrowed at being questioned.

“He’s fine.” She readjusted his bow on her shoulder and pointed off somewhere he couldn’t see. “The keys for the other bikes are in the River Shipping container under the crate filled with spare air filters for the trucks. Go get ‘em.” 

There were scuffling sounds, and then she was looking at him again. He was making too much noise. It finally dawned on him. His breathing was coming in with great gusts that scratched at the back of his throat. It echoed in the tight space, but he couldn’t seem to get it to stop.

“Daryl.”

She waited, because of course she did, knew he was tripwire tight right now.

Couple of steps, and he was right there in front of her. His hand raised, shook so hard, that she had to catch it with her own when he brought it to cup her face. Warm skin and strong bones. Her blues were the same heartbreaking hues, and he fell into them as the ringing noise of the pipe hitting the ground reached him. 

The knuckles of his hands felt rusted into place, and he had to try  _ so hard _ not to claw into the giving flesh below his fingertips. Daryl’s other hand came up to frame those pinked cheeks, and he watched in fascination as her lids slid closed. Looking so strangely peaceful with his filthy hands on her, just like she always had, and her hands cradled the backs of his to keep him close.

“Beth.”

His voice was rough.

It made her smile softly.

“ _ Brier _ ?”

Her eyes opened and tears trickled down the side of her nose.

“Guys,” Carl said, low and apologetic. “We’ve gotta move, come on.”

Beth nodded and sniffed, pulled slowly from his hands, but interlaced their fingers together as she tugged him towards his bike. He flicked a glance over his shoulder. Glenn, Carl, Sasha, and Jesus were swinging their legs onto bikes, some of them doubled up. Daryl mechanically did the same, felt the shocks adjust as Beth got on behind him and wrap her arms around his torso. It wasn’t tight enough. He gathered up her wrists and crossed them more firmly under his ribs, until he could feel the side of her face flush with his back. 

Engines roared and the next thing he knew, they were out and flying down open road. The others parted and Daryl sailed into the lead, doing his best to find a speed between  _ get the fuck out of here as fast as possible _ and,  _ don’t fucking kill everyone on the curves _ . Every time Beth’s death grip eased, his hand would snap down and tug at hers until she all but squeezed the breath from him.

There was no telling how quickly the Saviors would begin to chase them, and the group headed out and away from any of the known settlements until they could circle back without tipping off the enemy group as to where they were going. They stashed the bikes and Jesus led them to a campsite that was up the side of a pretty shear natural embankment that was backed by a rocky outcropping. As they made the trek up, Beth’s hand stayed firmly enclosed in his, and Daryl watched each step she made to ensure she wouldn’t fall due to his hold. 

There was little chance that walker or man would be able to make the climb noiselessly. Walkers probably not at all, unless attracted by a lot of sound or movement. They reached the cover of some trees and he immediately felt less likely to have a panic attack. Guns glinted between the shirt and pants of some of their party, knife handles peeked out from boot tops. They’d been able to strip some guards of their gear on their way to the bikes which was good. Jesus had left some goods stashed in the area, along with a light bedroll.

Daryl could tell the group was restless.

“How’s Maggie?” Glenn asked, barely waiting long enough to catch his breath once they’d come to a stop and no pursuit could be heard. 

Daryl’s hand vised without warning, and Beth let out a quiet hiss of pain. 

He immediately loosened his grip, too keyed up to apologize or let go. His arms ached to pull her into him and keep her there. There was a need in him, to do a detailed check of her body, run a nose and hands along each of her surfaces to make sure she was truly as undamaged as she looked. But he knew that wouldn’t be happening, not when she found out that Maggie was –

“She’s fine, who do you think sent me to see what was going on?”

It was a near thing, that Daryl kept his hand from fisting once again when Jesus answered. The guy wasn’t lying, or at least not that Daryl could tell. Glenn and Beth took twin breaths of relief as he attempted to put the how of things together. It was too much. Someone had lied for some reason or another and Maggie was fine.

Negan had lied and Beth was fine.

Daryl’s face was wet, but everyone was good enough not to say anything about it.

“She’s at the Hilltop,” Jesus said, gesturing over his shoulder in a clearly familiar motion that said he knew exactly where they were. “I was asked to do some recon, but then I saw that guy laying into you and…” He shrugged and shook his head. “And then when you told me you thought Beth had a plan to get you all out tonight, it seemed the right time to get things going.”

Glenn nodded and the two shook hands before Beth’s brother-in-law spoke. “I’ve gotta see her.”

His tone made it clear he meant immediately and not after things cooled off any.

“I need to get to my dad,” Carl added on quickly.

“Carl–” Beth tried, but he shook his head.

“You  _ know _ if we don’t give him a heads up about this, things will go south in a hurry when Negan knocks on the gates at Alexandria.”

There was a heavy silence as the sun sunk down further in the sky.

“I’ll go with him,” Sasha said finally. “If Rick’s likely to take the news badly that we all went missing, then Abraham’s bound to think Negan’s lying and that we’re all actually dead.” Her expression was set, and backed up her thoughts about what the redhead was prone to do in such a situation. 

“I can take them after I get Glenn to Hilltop,” Jesus said, clearly speaking to Beth only, and Daryl was more than happy to be left out of it. “But that leaves you two out here on your own.”

“Oh,” Beth’s reply almost sounded like a watery laugh. “We’re fine out here, don’t y’all worry about that.” She turned to look at him, and Daryl traced several features before making his way at last to her eyes. “Right?”

He might have jerked his head in a nod.

“I’ll tell Maggie you’re ok,” Glenn said, eyes landing on Daryl after moving them from Beth. “That  _ both _ of you are.” 

Eye contact was a bitch.

This time he was certain he nodded, and only froze a little when Glenn stepped to him and wrapped him in a quick hug. He was able to lift his free arm and hold tight for a few moments before his friend released him. 

“We just barely got us all back in one place.” Voice husky with tears, Beth’s smile was a fleeting thing. Daryl managed to give her a reassuring squeeze that she quickly returned. 

“We’ll all be together soon,” Glenn promised, going in for a hug, which Daryl made incredibly awkward by being unable to let go of Beth’s hand. 

The rest of them said their goodbyes, hugging and blessedly not saying anything about his continued struggles to keep in constant contact with her. Carl handed Beth her knife that he’d taken from the dead body of his guard, and Jesus gave Daryl the one from his own belt. 

When the sounds of their footsteps faded away, Daryl wasted no time in yanking Beth closer. She moved without hesitation to wrap her arms around him in a bone grinding hug that he returned full force, afraid that he would snap her into pieces. 

_ Alive. _

He was holding her, bodies pressed painfully together. He wondered if he’d ever actually stopped crying from the moment he’d heard her voice in the Sanctuary. The minutes ticked on but he was only interested in tracking the shudders of her frame and refused to let go until those died down into a mild tremor. When Beth finally tipped her head back to look at him, Daryl swallowed too hard as her clear unmarred features struck him dumb.

“M’sorry.”

_ So inadequate. _

The words were laughable, and he couldn’t believe she was allowing him to  _ touch _ her. Let alone hold her tight. He’d hauled off and gotten her killed. But she still nestled into him like he was the safest place she knew to be. 

Beth was shaking her head. He tried to focus, because every word of hers was a gift he didn’t deserve to get.

“You couldn’t have known. No Daryl,” she said, words adamant when he attempted to interrupt. “I mean it. You’re the one that got it the worst outta any of us.”

His head was on a tilted swivel, he couldn’t stop the shaking of it. 

“Got everyone killed, got…”

“Denise was the last one to get killed,” she reminded him softly, and a terrible wave of guilt lapped at his conscious at the memory. “And that was Dwight’s doin’ not yours.”

“I—”

“Daryl Dixon I did  _ not _ survive all a’ that and work so hard to get us out of there in order to hear you blame yourself for every  _ damned _ thing that bad people have ever done to us.”

Despite his arms firmly around her, Beth went up on her tiptoes to fit her mouth to his. Before he could do more than whine deep in his throat, she was lowering enough to fix him with a look that told him he’d best listen, and quickly. 

“Now let’s get camp set up best we can.” She watched him closely before continuing. “We still got jobs ta’ do right?”

He nodded.

Beth took a step away, to take a look at their supplies perhaps, but he caught her hand once more, dodging her eyes when he didn’t let go. He still wasn’t right. Things were topsy-turvy in his head, the idea of her not touching him sent him adrift to a sudden and terrifying degree. The words lodged in his throat and all he managed was to jerk his head in the direction of their tree cover.

“Gonna walk the perimeter.”

She dipped her chin in answer, but after silent seconds he saw she got it.

He was going to walk the perimeter.

And she was going to come with him.

Because it was not possible for him to let her go.

Not now.

They made a weaving course out to either side of camp. Beth offered him his gear back but he didn’t want it, again, not yet. Not now. He didn’t feel like himself, just wanted to get a good idea about how worried he needed to be about where they were staying at. 

After a while he could tell why Jesus had liked the spot. The man had outfitted it with a few lines of dangling cans and other noise makers. It was a place that was almost impossible for walkers to get to quietly without crawling the entire distance, which was easy enough to factor for when it came to sleep shifts. And anyway, something would really have to get their attention to make the climb, instead of simply stumbling around the perimeter of the steep hill.

“You wanna talk about it?” Her question was so quiet he almost missed it. Their eyes met and their steps stopped until she shook her head for him in answer when the silence stretched. “I’ll give ya some time for it.”

_ Some _ time.

But her response made it clear that he would be talking about it in the near future one way or another. Fair enough, he supposed as he led them back to camp, this kind of wound felt like one prone to fester. 

When they got to the site, he forced himself to drop her hand, clenched the emptiness when it was done, and tried to calm his racing pulse. Watching her move was unavoidable. He didn’t try to hide it. His eyes drank up every long-limbed movement as she began putting things in order for their night.  _ Their night. _ They were going to actually spend time together. Sure, they were being hunted and would be sleeping out in the middle of woods infested with the ravenous dead, but after everything else, that seemed like very little to be concerned about. Because time with Beth was still something that  _ could _ happen, not just visions of a madman, he’d gotten a second chance.

Or, fuck, was this his third?

It felt like another lifetime from when he’d had this kind of space to just…sit and think without having each of his senses assaulted by some abuse or another. Many lifetimes perhaps, since he’d gotten to appreciate the slope of her shoulder, the quick efficiency of those clever hands, and the way her hair captured the sun’s light and threw it back. She was with him, hadn’t left, and he was going to get the chance to tell her all the things he’d thought about while wallowing around in that cell. He was going to get much longer kisses than that last one she’d given him less than an hour ago, the one that’d been quick and hard and so fucking great, but he wanted it again. Wanted other things too, he knew, as he watched her roll out the bedding near a fallen log.

But that could wait, until she was ready, until she gave the all clear...

He had no idea what’d gone on while they were apart, or how long that had actually been. It felt like months, slow, tortuous months that had seemed never to end. But that couldn’t be right. Everyone had looked exactly the same since he’d last seen them. It couldn’t have been more than a week, but had it – 

Daryl couldn’t catch his breath. It played coy with his lungs, and fluttered in and away until he opened his mouth and sucked in a gulp and held it there. His fingers were rubbing themselves raw, he could hear the skin chaffing in amongst the bird song and hushed buzz of insects. The grass under his feet smelled half burnt, in need of rain, and the aroma was mixed with that of the slowly baking bark of the trees. Sweat slipped down across his collar bone as he watched the shadows from the Virginia Pines spatter Beth in a swaying half-light. 

Was he dreaming?

It had been real, the escape, the drive, getting up here. 

He was treading water and tiring now and then sinking, it was true, and could his moth eaten brain really be sure? Hadn’t everyone left them a little too quickly, hadn’t the getaway  _ itself _ worked out without a single casualty on their end? 

_ Too easy.  _

Beth was on her knees on the bedroll, glancing around her work, checking for any insect or rodent nests that’d taken up residence close to the downed log maybe. She either couldn’t hear, or was letting him work through, this attack he was having. Not a single flick of blue was cast his way, and Daryl was suddenly certain it was fake. He was dreaming. He’d snapped.

_ Broken _ .

She wasn’t even facing him, long sun-kissed arms came up to undo her snarled ponytail, and he imagined those limbs stretching up and up until wings were there and she’d leap heavenward and leave him. She’d bend forward and, like a nymph, meld into the wood of the log near her thighs and disappear from sight. He’d reach forward now, and watch in horror as his hand plunged through nothing, a mirage of heat stroke and desperation.

He was moving.

Stumbling forward as the light cooled into a post-sunset glow around them. He came down hard on his knees between her parted calves. A startled gasp was the sweetest thing he could have hoped to hear before his arms wrapped around her. Solid, thank fucking Christ, he met again with skin and bone. He squeezed tight and felt it all shift and compress in his arms until she released a pained breath. Daryl couldn’t stop though, had never been able to when it came to Beth, not really, and his hands slipped intentionally beneath her light tank top. 

More skin. Soft and living. Warm and jumping, as he dug his fingertips and dirtied nails into it. More sounds, a little cry, and that was familiar too. A hand swept up further and palmed her bra-less little tit, and when he gripped the hardened nub just enough to maybe hurt, Beth made a noise like he’d just prodded an especially painful knot in her back. It’d never been in him to touch her like this, not really, perhaps in play they’d be rough now and again but it always gave way to something smoother. He was shaking as his fingers dug between the skin of her hips and her jeans, pulling until he heard a pop and the material slackened enough to be pushed down.

He must be hard, knew it in a distracted way, but his goal was to feel her. All of her, to smell and taste and touch, until the reality of her life was ingested past the point of doubt. He’d imprint all of it now, because three chances was two chances too many and he might not get another opportunity. Every moan and murmur would reinforce to his battered mind that she was still with him.

“I  _ gotta, _ ” he said, rasping the excuse into her ear. “I gotta, girl.” Beth hadn’t frozen or made a move to stop his sudden motions, but even now he had to be sure. “You don’ wan’ it, ya gotta tell me now.” 

He was gross, in every way that he’d hated before now when it came to Beth, to being close to her and knowing to the pit of him it wasn’t the kind of love she deserved. But now, he abandoned the mistreatment of her panties, in order to turn her face enough to kiss her. This too was painful, his teeth in her lips until she opened for him, and his tongue swept in so that he could taste wild sugar over his own day-old vomit and dogfood.  A hand closed over his ear and tugged, he went to pull away, but she clamped down on his tongue and bit.

His wrist was jerked off of a bare hip and shoved down to where he felt the first wiry hairs of her mound. Beth moaned into his mouth when he stopped her grasp from getting his fingers to her clit. The kissing turned into a bit of a fight at that point, and his girl gave as good as she got, sucking his aching tongue until Daryl’s hips jerked and a growl was eking from his throat. He could feel her nails cut into the tender cartilage of his ear, and his only response was to swirl the long length of his tongue against hers.

They swayed and Daryl finally gave up on trying to get enough breath through the stolen inhales of his nose. Beth rolled her hips back, left off his ear to reach back and cup him through his pants. He grunted at the tangling shot that went through his system when her hand began kneading his dick hard enough to make him want to twitch away. But he didn’t. She tried again to pull his hand, this time intertwining her fingers with his.

“Can’t,” he groaned, started to like the mix of pleasure and nearly gut-twisting pain that she was causing. Made him think about the first time she’d sucked his cock, and fuck sakes hadn’t that turned out better than anything he’d ever felt? “Give ya a’ fuckin’ infection, I touch ya now.”

They’d had him cleaning all sorts of mess with his bare hands. Not to mention the blood, puke, and God only knew what else that was caking his skin right now.

“M’ready enough,” she said, voice a needy whisper that made his dick throb for a whole different reason. He shook his head. “I am,  _ I am _ , you said ya gotta, c’mon then.”

He heard his zipper a moment before her hand was around him. 

“M’gonna hurt ya.” He didn’t know how he meant those words. If it was a warning or a promise, a way to encourage her to get herself wetter, or a threat of what was in his body now to do. It didn’t seem to matter much to Beth, who shivered in his arms and gave a few pumping strokes to the cock that bobbed and dripped pre-come in anticipation. “Touch yerself, Brier. Get that pussy ready for me, girl. G’on now, s’just like when I do it for ya.”

“Could always use your tongue.” Her tone was teasing, and he’d be goddamned if it didn’t make his heart beat even harder to hear it. That being said, she slid her hand by his and made a shuddering little cry that tore at him. A few moments were filled with their panting, but at the last she whined in frustration.  _ “Daryl.” _

_ I need you. _

Something akin to that proud male feeling unfurled in his gut, and he gripped her shoulder and pressed until she was almost draped across the downed tree in front of her. Daryl repositioned, but not to eat her, he couldn’t wait any longer. Had tried to tell her. And when he slammed his entire length into her, Beth whimpered and shuddered, hands coming up to muffle the noise. He laid down along her back, felt every tremble as his hips went back and then rammed forward once more. Elbows next to hers on the tree, Daryl grabbed her hands from her mouth and held them tight as he began jerking into her without any restraint or rhythm.

“Ya do what ya gotta,” he said, biting into the nob at the top of her spine for a few thrusts before grating out the rest of his thought. “L’kill anythin’ comes lookin’.”

The sounds that pushed out of her after that were sobs, ones that echoed with each collision of skin that smacked and cracked through the trees around them, barely softened at all by the clothes that hadn’t completely been shoved out of the way.

“Brier?”

He was deep in it now, her walls shuddering and clenching around his cock so sweetly, but she’d never made those noises before. Not during back rubs, and not during sex, and he wasn’t looking to have to kill himself after fucking her today.

Beth sucked in a huge breath. “ _ Harder _ .”

Every movement he made after that was angry, not towards her, never that – not like this – but at himself for almost losing her. At the people that had made him think that he already had. His momentum picked up, trying to match his heart rate, when she spoke again between thrusts.

“Daryl…no…rubber.”

He reared them back, carefully closing both their hands over her throat, the other two went to press down just above her hood. 

“Don’t matter,” he panted, licking and biting along her neck. “Yer pregnant anyway.”

For the first time Beth stiffened in his arms.

“I’m not.”

He slowed.

For a heartbeat.

“ _ I don’t care. _ ”

Her next moan was broken as he snapped his hips up again and again. From how her walls went vice-like around him, Daryl knew she got what he’d meant. It wasn’t that he didn’t care that she wasn’t pregnant. That he’d thought she was and then they’d both been taken from him. It was that he didn’t care if he came in her right now and nine months later they’d have someone new to protect. Being scared might not be something he could or should let go of, but it certainly hadn’t stopped bad shit from happening to them. 

He wanted to come inside his girl.

He wanted to feel the life of him pour into her and have it held there.

To know for certain that with every pumping inch of him he was feeling her be completely alive.

With a ground out curse, he did just that, spilling into her as her hand shot free of his to rub fitfully at her clit until she seized up and then shook violently against him. Daryl kept her up, kept moving inside her until he thought the heightened sensitivity would kill them both. 

Beth sagged against him. He felt fucked out fit to die, but it was like his Brier-deprived brain and body wouldn’t leave him be. 

Moving smoothly, smoothly once again now, that the edge was taken off. He laid her down on the bedroll, stripped off her boots and bottom-half. He didn’t remove anything of his own, cast an eye to where his vest and bow had been set near the bed-site in case he needed to grab the weapon quickly, and went about spreading Beth’s legs.

“No,” she said, but her fingers combed into his dirty hair and clenched, pulling him in just a little. Daryl looked up the length of her body as he moved down it, enjoying the slight sting to his scalp. 

“Said ya wanted my tongue.”

She shook her head even as her hips rolled and lifted towards his mouth, her eyes too wide and half-lidded between each blink.

“I can’t.”

He looked down in time to see the milky white combination that was both of their making, leak slowly from her clenching and unclenching lips.

“You will.”

Her creamy folds were a sight for sore eyes. Daryl’s mouth began to water and he started gathering up the slow moving strands of come as he licked up her slit. Beth bucked and gasped against him. 

Good. 

_ More.  _

His hands couldn’t be inside her, but they weren’t gonna fucking punk out and be idle either. They stroked and pinched the pebbled points of her tits, held down her hips when she couldn’t seem to stay still, slid under her ass and lifted her more fully into his waiting mouth when she started to shake again. 

Fuck he loved it, his tongue prodding past her swollen entrance, licking up hard to that precious little clit and sucking it until her legs locked against the sides of his head. She’d always tasted good. Skin, mouth, pussy, it hadn’t mattered to him. All of it was intoxicating. But now, he had to say, to him she tasted like the first day of spring after one long-ass bitch of a winter, with his come mixing with hers like it was. 

He had to pry her legs open to dip down and lap up her second round, rubbing soothing circles against her sides as she breathed out sighing cries. Shifting his hips, Daryl grunted to feel his dick hard and aching once more, trapped between the sleeping bag under them and his pants. If the taste of Beth in his mouth hadn’t made him certain that all of this was really happening (there was no way his memory had done her justice) he’d have doubted his senses. After being with her for a little while now, getting in some regular use, he’d been able to hold his own in the stamina department. But this wasn’t no goddamned romance novel, and he usually needed at least an hour or more to get going again.

Well, he sure as fuck wasn’t gonna waste it.

When he moved up to rest between her thighs, bent to kiss her good and slow, Beth immediately felt his hard-on and pulled back from his lips.

“I’ve gotta rest Daryl,” she said, sounding tired and perhaps a little concerned. “We—”

“Jus’ once more,” he promised, the kisses to her jaw involved a lot of teeth, but they were gentle and followed with a quick pass of his tongue. “Once more, Brier, an’ you can sleep.”

Small but strong hands stopped his ministrations and brought his face up so their eyes met. It was minutes only before full dark would be on them, but he had no problem seeing her. So flushed she looked sunburnt, her pupils were blown wide to eat the clear blue of her eyes, and sweat highlighted the silver of her scars, the dark pink of her lips. So present, breathing, chest pushing against his, thumbs brushing across his cheeks. Had he started crying again? He didn’t think so, but maybe she was brushing away the visible tracks the earlier tears had left down his face.

She was trying to talk to him in that silent way. He could tell by how she gazed at him, how her brows knit when nothing passed between them. There was too much in his head right now, it was a cacophony of whistling screams and joyous sobbing. The ability to communicate wasn’t one he was able to master, verbally or otherwise. Too raw, too soon. After a moment she gave a slight tick of her chin, probably filing the information away.

Something else they’d be talking about later.

_ Later, please let there be more laters. _

He was so fucking grateful for all the  _ now. _

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

He opened his mouth to, do something, argue maybe, or tell her he didn’t want to talk about it yet. But one set of pads left his whiskers to glide down his cloth covered chest and hips until she found his dick and gave it a comforting little squeeze. His lids dropped closed as she guided him home, and this time he eased into her one slow stroke at a time until his hips pressed her thighs wide and he bottomed out. This was a whole different kind of beast, this fucking was too sweet to hold the term, this was the type of sex he’d tried so hard to recall during his time in the cell.

It had been one of the main things he’d wanted to relive.

And he was getting his chance.

So slow. 

He was so slow for his girl. Watched teeth flash from behind her lips as she bared them for each deliberate thrust into her that he made, and then he got a view of rolling pink as her jaw dropped open and low beautiful noises escaped past her tongue once more. His body was about as messed up as his head was, but looking at her as he gave her easy strokes that hopefully soothed some of the ache from his earlier ones, Daryl couldn’t feel any pain. She’d chased it all away, forced it to flee, just with the warmth of her body. The light he saw burning white hot inside of her.

“Love you.” He murmured it against her lips, her hair, the curve of her ear. “Love you, Beth.”

“I lo—” Daryl changed his angle and rolled hard into her, hitting a spot that’d never failed him in the past. “Love you too. I-ahh,” she moaned, words tangling and struggling to be understood as her poor abused walls convulsed with a spasm as she came. He picked up his pace, grunting when her constricting muscles went painfully tight around him and he came with a groan. It hurt. But he’d wanted it. “I love you, Daryl.  _ Loveyouloveyou _ .”

He could barely hear her, stayed in place, pulsing inside her as Beth’s eyes closed. After several minutes he knew she’d actually fallen asleep with him still deep in her. When her breathing had completely evened out and her hands had slipped from his shoulders, Daryl took a full minute to pull out without waking her up. Tucking himself back into his pants, he went about making her comfortable, folding the other half of the bedroll over to cover her nakedness, rolling up her pants to pillow her head. 

There was no likelihood of him falling asleep, even though he couldn’t remember the last time he had. Right now he couldn’t have been more wired, more aware of his surroundings, and he prowled the perimeter of their camp as the night ticked by. There was a lot of shit rolling riotous through his mind. Beth’s miraculous ability to stay alive, again. Their family’s successful flight, and the concern about how the others were faring out there in the dark without either he or Beth to help them fight. 

And lastly, and more troubling, why the fuck he’d been so willing to believe  _ Negan. _

Not about Beth’s death itself. He’d been bleeding a long while by the time they performed their little side show and he’d seen the bat and heard Maggie scream. They’d conned him, it sucked ass, but there wasn’t much he could do now, about believing the lie. But about the baby, maybe he could blame it on the sleep deprivation and torture, but it had been so  _ unlikely _ that Rick would ever tell their enemy something so personal. Something that was so easily weaponized, and able to be turned against Daryl in his already weakened state.

So who had told?

His eyes flew across the small area from where he sat, crouched on the balls of his feet, to where she slept soundly. Well that was hardly a brain buster. Who else could it have been? Was he mad about it? No.  _ Fuck no _ . She’d had her reasons, and whatever they’d been had gotten them here. He didn’t even need to question that. 

But believing that fucker about their baby?

Had he wanted it after all? Could have sworn that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t so sure now, not at all. That level of gullibility, the kind that’d get him a slap upside the head from Merle, made it pretty goddamn clear that he’d wanted it. Wanted it? Them? Little he or she that wasn’t and had never been. Wanted them? Wanted them so much that he’d taken gospel from the devil?  

He knew, as he continued to think, that he could have ensured him and Beth’s safety a little more if he’d taken up his bow and went in another weaving, zig-zagging patrol, out into the woods. But that would mean leaving Beth. He couldn’t do that, couldn’t leave her. Couldn’t bear to let her out of his sight. If anything got close he’d have plenty of time to take of it before it reached her. Until then, he needed to stay where he could watch the moon lend her mythic hues – take time to appreciate what he’d been gifted. 

As the night wore on though, it wasn’t overly long before he found his mind doubting, his fingers itching. 

It was never going to be just  _ once _ more.         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo....there's that. Let me know one way or another what your thoughts are and thanks so much for reading in any event.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Hey guys, so this is the chapter that was giving me such a hard time. Hopefully it turned out ok. Thanks so much for everyone who took the time to read and review. I was thinking about maybe wrapping this thing up soon, since I have three other fics I wanted to start. But there's still a lot of interest so I don't know, posts on the story might just slow down as I post other chapters but I'll see how long I can, one, keep it going and two, people stay interested in it.
> 
> Thanks again everyone.
> 
> Oh and Edda, baths will happen next chapter ^.~ I promise lol.
> 
> Happy Reading!

**Chapter 36**

 

It was night still, or the too dark time of morning to make much difference, when she came back to herself. Beth went from being utterly asleep, to eyes wide open and searching. The moon was high, full bright, and streaming down to dapple their little clearing with silver. There were a few animal calls a ways out from camp, but nothing large, no predators, none that meant her harm anyway.

The first thought that struck her, was that she’d done it. They’d done it. Gotten out, at least for now. She would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall at the Sanctuary when Negan found out the lot of them were gone. See Dwight hang his head in shame when it came time tell the big boss man that a little blonde woman whooped him and took his stuff. The idea nearly made her puffy lips curve.

The second thing, was that somehow, as quickly as they’d been reunited, they’d split like pick-up-sticks in all different directions again. It was for the best, she knew that, made them harder to track, easier to evade a larger group, and that was only speaking to issues with Negan’s people. She couldn’t blame everyone for not wanting to bed down before going to see their nearest and dearest. 

_ Maggie _ . 

Beth sure hoped Jesus hadn’t been sugar coating anything. Her gut twisted up hard, closing her eyes over the sudden rush of moisture. She willed it to be the truth. That Glenn was with her sister now, that they’d been able to figure out what’d made Maggie so terribly sick all of a sudden. That the baby was alright…Nothing was ever guaranteed these days, but some good  _ somewhere _ had to be allowed to exist. Didn’t it? She hadn’t exactly been praying on the regular anymore, but it’d be nice if God looked out for her sister and the baby.  

They  _ all _ needed something good to look forward to right now.

Which brought her to the third thing that moseyed its way into her sated brain – where in the hell was her  _ something good _ at this time of night? Because he sure as hell was nowhere close to her.

Her body was cool, not cold, but he definitely wasn't lying nearby. Man was a furnace no matter the season. She’d have been able to feel him straight away. Beth blinked into the darkness. Her sight wavered and readjusted as they searched the tree line. 

She could feel her body's dull ache without even needing to move. He'd painted bruises all over her light skin. That was easy enough to gather, she could see them without looking. They were splotched along her hip bones, where he'd gripped so tightly, where she'd felt the grit covering his hands dig in and imbed itself in her flesh. They ringed her wrists like new bracelets, and her fingers, that he'd held like lifelines, pulsed with a bone deep throb that radiated all the way down to the apex of her thighs. They spotted her breasts and stomach, her thighs, and perhaps her throat.

Burning on the taught fleshy part of her tummy were red abrasions that crisscrossed her bellybutton. He'd pawed at her as if trying to reach her organs, her spine, her beating heart, hugged her to him until she couldn't breathe. Beth was pretty sure if she had the muscle, it was sore and aching, that she'd used it to survive his needs.

_ My needs too. _

Her walls gave an inquisitive little flutter at the memory, and the next inhale lodged in her chest. He'd been a force in and of himself when he'd landed behind her. Hotter than the evening sun that'd slowly been lowering away from them, Daryl had swallowed her up, arms wrapped tight, breath hitching and rasping in a way that’d wound her tighter than his hold. His movements had been rough, but even through the unintentional dollops of pain; she'd been able to feel his fear. He'd shook with each push and pull on her body. Knowing what was running rampant through his mind right now might not be a possibility, not until that man of hers had time to sort through it, but she’d been more than willing to give him what he needed.

She’d needed it too, since he'd first whipped his eyes up her body at the Sanctuary. It was irrational how quickly she’d reacted to his proximity.

But shockingly enough, the physical stuff, what she had thought might be their biggest obstacle since the beginning of their relationship, had barely been a blip on the troubles radar. This world did mental trauma like a southern belle did a social event: all day with copious amounts of flare. So much so, that it was friggin’ impossible for the people living in it to cope a lot of the time. It’d sure done a number on her, that much was true. He might not react the same way as she had, but if he did, than Daryl might be looking at a personal reality filled with a lot of extremes for the foreseeable future. 

Beth just hoped she hadn’t already messed anything up by giving into her own baser urges.  

Even though she'd told Jesus that Daryl was fine, it was alright to admit to herself now, in the haven of her own mind, that she'd felt a scrabbling trepidation at the way he'd shaken his head in denial at the sound of her voice. His breath had grated in an awful and sickened way while he'd inserted the key to his bike. Like he hadn’t heard, or had, but didn’t want to. Almost like, like he was getting used to things talking to him that weren’t really there.

And his face when he'd seen her, that expression. It'd taken everything she had, not to break down in tears. More than likely, that would have been the worst thing she could have done in that situation. Her crying, it would have made him panic, made him more likely to strike out at either friend or foe. But it’d been so freaking much to take. 

There was the relief of having him with her, the rage of being separated in the first place, and the sadness – of knowing only a small degree of what he’d gone through, been thinking, and what she still had yet to tell him. That Negan had lied not only about her, but their child that wasn’t. How she’d helped to make him feel  _ even more _ wretched than the circumstances had allowed for already.

She felt her hand spasm at the thought of that first contact, her palm to the back of his shivering hand. It’d collapsed walls and worlds in her mind and brought her fully back into herself for the first time since Negan's people had abducted them. It’d been campfire deer on the side of the road with his fingers laced with hers, morning pears with him looking embarrassed but pleased with her surprise syrupy-kiss, the morning after…his thumb sweeping impatiently along her side, hard and ready, but only worried about how she was doing. All together in a single small touch that had barely lingered, but felt like a punch for all it made her feel in the brief moments that it happened.  

But where was he now?

She rolled to one side, head leaving her jeans that he’d apparently made into a pillow for her, feeling the flare of his artwork in all the known places, searching carefully along the perimeter for any sign. Had he finally been able to have her out of sight? Doubtful. The more probable thing was that he was out there just out of her own view. Watching. Keeping an eye on her and everything else for the past...however long it had been since she'd all but passed out. 

With him still...

A new detail.

Beth slid her thighs together and stifled a moan. Her legs stuck together slightly, the most exquisite pain yawned up into her lower belly. Her tongue felt burnt, like she'd tried to eat a steaming meal too quickly - sipped boiling water for fun. There was the barest trace of copper there, and she wasn't sure whose blood it was. For all her pains she felt loose limbed, as she rocked back and forth experimentally on her side, humming at the coarseness of the bedroll against her butt and calves.

A shiver hit her and heat dripped low in her stomach as one of the shadows detached itself from the ground and moved towards her silently, seemingly unable to ignore the innocuous noises and movements she was making.

Not for the first time, Beth likened him to a god, a woodland one that was roughly hewn, but no less awe inspiring because of it. He towered above her as she twisted her neck in an attempt to view his face. Head bare, he'd lost the stolen hat in the middle of throttling that foot soldier, his face was cast in an inscrutable darkness by dark hair and the angle he watched her at. It didn’t matter though, she could feel twin pools of black-shot blues on her as he stood there wordlessly, chin tipped down in her direction. Any agitation he had was masked by everything but his fingers, which twitched and rubbed against one another in the otherwise quiet campground. The clothes he'd pilfered were ill-fitting and baggy on his frame to the point where, with the decreased visibility, he almost appeared to her to be someone else altogether.

The gravel and buckshot though, when it came, was all Daryl. "You up?"

She nodded slowly, gripping the flap of the sleeping bag in a silent command to herself to remain calm. Her bruises seemed to heat and pulse, as if his nearness would make them blossom, like flowers for the sun. A long mental tirade took place in the space of a breath, hadn’t she learned a damn thing from their relationship so far? Sex was not enough to help him heal, get him through whatever the situation was that shredded his mind. It hadn’t stopped him from obsessing over the pantry and Alexandria’s food shortage, and it definitely wouldn’t help him recover from thinking he’d played a part in getting her killed.

So she just needed to knock it the hell off. 

No matter how cunt-shattering that sex was, no matter how wet she got, or how much he begged…Her throat itched with dryness and Beth wanted very much to smack herself on the side of the head. 

It was very possible his coming over here had nothing to do with  _ that _ .

For instance, it was as good a time as any for them to switch who was on watch. Had been nice of him to stay up, considering what Dwight and Negan had been doing to him. She could only imagine how exhausted he must be. There was also little chance that he was already prepared to open up and tell her how he was feeling about everything. Her being alive, the way it had all unfolded, even what they'd just got done doing a few hours ago. 

It’d be good for him to get some sleep.

She was being  _ totally _ irrational.

His head bobbed in his own answer, and then thick fingers and broad hands came up to undo his pants. Beth only had a moment for a surprised inhale, as he stepped over her, lying down behind with his back to the log. Even as her center pooled startling fast and her pulse trilled against her throat with anticipation, she still tensed as he slid underneath their thin cover. 

There were certain complications to this scenario. 

She was tender everywhere. No way had she known just how enthusiastically she’d be able to adapt to his roughness. How wonderful it could be, being unable to restrain sound or reaction from the force that, instead of bringing debilitating pain, had brought explosive amounts of pleasure instead. He'd never insisted on sex before the last time, and just as it was with the last time, he'd never  _ had to _ really. But admittedly, she wasn’t sure if she should be letting this happen or not. On one hand, the ferocity of him had been everything she could have dreamed of after coming so near to losing one another.

She'd wanted him just as desperately as he had her.

But  _ sweet mercy _ , was she sore.

Her contemplations got a bit sidetracked as Daryl rumbled like an oncoming summer storm, swept over her like one too. It made her sort of forget for the moment, that this might not be the heathiest way to deal with trauma. His chest was a thunderhead, vibrating and growling with the force of the gale that swirled within him. There was strength to everything he did, especially his softer more deliberate motions. His skimming fingertips brought with them a heady shudder, and a rolling wave of goosebumps that rushed from nape to thighs. Barely controlled breathing chased the raised flesh in warm waves that billowed spasmodically near the crook of her neck.

And his  _ heat _ .

It made Beth want to sob. Everything yesterday (if she could count it as yesterday, more like a handful of hours) had happened so quickly. They'd both been more than half out of their minds. Punishing one another for being away, for being in danger, for being dead, and at the same time rewarding one another for surviving yet again, when they'd had no expectation to.

When Daryl's hand slid warm and heavy up her torso, grazed an already hard peak through her tank top, and came to rest above her heart, Beth couldn't stop herself. Her next breath was too hard and lasted far too long. It released in a watery hiccup that was followed by several more. His palm rode along with the uneven breaths as he moved to shield her further with his body, blanketed her in warmth, his arm constricting to hold her closer.

There was no shake in his touch, but a tremble. A murmur, instead of a scream, compared to what she'd felt in him the last time. Now it was her turn. Beth cried as silently as she could, wrapping her hand around his bigger one and letting them both feel the pounding in her chest.

_ Together. _

It looped through her mind, struck waiting nerves along her frame.

He was stiff and twitching, an undemanding pressure against her ass, he’d obviously been like this for some time while she lay sleeping. The question of just  _ how _ long he’d been waiting for her in his current state spiraled through her mind. But it got lost when Daryl began circling the area of her heart with his hand. The perimeter growing by degrees and steadying her a little as he went. She started to calm down. His scruff on her neck, face skimming the sensitive skin there, before he was burrowing into the sweat-matted confines of her hair, and breathing deep. 

His hand dragged itself down her body, and once again Beth tensed without meaning to. What was the right move? The right choice? Would this help or hurt him? She didn’t know. Couldn’t decide if letting it continue was for him or for her, and there was no way she could trust his judgement right now. She needed to be the one to decide. 

But, it just felt  _ sooo _ …

The deliciously dogged journey against her skin stopped, waited, and then he was abashedly pulling away from her. The hot length of him left shiver-cool strips against her cheeks, where he'd begun to slowly rock.

"Wait," she said, the word almost chunky sounding in her tear-soaked throat.

He gave a great exhale, dampening her neck, and then his fingers were tripping down her side, lifting an already bruised thigh. Gently, so very carefully, he hoisted it up and back, his hold light, like it wasn't there at all. Giving her plenty of leeway to stop him, to pull away if that’s what she wanted.

"Please." Beth sunk into him when his plea whispered itself against the back of her ear. She was a hurricane of indecision, but it was so hard to deny him anything when his lips and teeth were nicking that particular piece of cartilage. " _ Please. _ "

When she swiveled her neck towards him, Daryl slid his other arm underneath, pillowing her head on his bicep. He’d always been attentive before, maybe not when riled, but he couldn’t help but be observant. Had keyed into what and when she’d wanted something, especially if that something was him. 

Giving herself up for lost, Beth went to kiss him, confusion causing her to freeze when he immediately jerked away from the attempt.  

He didn’t want to kiss her? Good gracious lord, the man had about suffocated her yesterday with his  _ oh so adamant _ and searching tongue. And now he was getting shy? Things might be worse than she’d figured them to be, had no one to blame but herself, for letting things get this far without trying to address it. 

Making up her mind, Beth attempted to pull her leg from his grasp, only to have Daryl clutch it to him. She winced as the muscle strained and at once began to cramp.

"M'mouth's all..." He trailed off, and she didn't need it to be light outside in order to know that he was shying away from her gaze.

"Sore?" Beth prompted quietly, in an attempt to get those pursed lips of his moving. "You're not the only one." Daryl shook his head without offering any other response, slowly massaging all along her thigh, perhaps so in tune with her that he’d felt her small cringe and knew what she needed, or he might just want the feel of her under his hand. Whatever the reason, he was officially making her shift restlessly against him, which didn’t seem entirely fair. She was trying to do the right thing. "Talk," she commanded gently. "Not askin' for all of it, but ya gotta start somewhere."

He hesitated a moment longer, fingers slipping into the crease of her thigh. "Shouldn'a kissed ya b'fore, taste like—"

_ Oh for – _

Scoffing and reaching up to his hanging hair, she pulled him down to her mouth. He was chapped and dry, but still soft, still  _ so _ good. She went easy on him at first, or tried to, moved her lips unhurriedly. Prodded at his, kindly but unmercifully, until he gave in with a shallow whimper. It soon preoccupied her more than she’d planned, had only wanted to get him comfortable, but after a few achingly slow connections, Beth realized just how long it'd been since they'd simply kissed. Not using it as a precursor to something else, not clashing tongues and teeth together in the middle of chasing each other's orgasm.

Just his mouth on hers, still unsure after all this time, but dedicated in trying to do whatever she wanted with it. 

Sounds, somewhere between whines and cries, were leeching from his throat with each second she spent tasting him.

Beth wasn't sure when it was, that she started arching back into him, or when their chaste kiss started to involve her tongue gliding teasingly in and out from between his lips. It triggered him to chase her down, lick his way into her. His probing strokes caught along her taste buds, and she got the chance to see what he'd been so worried about. Beth’s lips curved against his sweetly, when he pulled away from her with a hum of inquiry. Their bodies still moved leisurely (for the most part) against one another, her stomach flexing and hips circling.

"Well, I don't know what ya tasted like before," she said honestly. "But now you just taste like me." He made a grating noise, his hand sliding once more to the apex of her thighs, but then stalling out once again. "Still can't?" she asked, with a kiss to his clenched jaw.

He grunted, shaking his head the tiniest bit in order to not disturb her deliberate ministrations.

"Gonna go look for water, soon as it's light."

His added squeeze voiced the  _ we  _ so he didn't have to.

She’d be going with him.

"Just go slow," she said, grinding more intently into him.

Ok so they were doing this, but just this time, just once more. 

_ To get him calmed back down. _

Yeah…that was it.

The hand on her thigh continued its kneading, but she could tell he was debating something.

There was a moment where she was afforded a chance of being saved from herself, if he wasn’t certain that it was a good idea either, than she’d absolutely be able to weigh in on the side of caution and hold off.

She was almost sure.

"Ya really don' like touchin' yerself?"

Or not.

Overcoming her sudden urge to hide, she shook her head instead. "It takes me out of it for some reason, I don't know why."

There was quiet for a beat, and then the tickle of his whiskers were back on her bare shoulder.

"Me niether, 'bout the best thing I've ever felt." Her breathing picked up as he tilted his hips back, cock sliding down the crack of her ass in an electric line that fried the air from her lungs. Daryl rocked back and forth methodically, edging at her soaked lips, making Beth's head loll onto his arm as his next words were breathed out. " _ Or tasted _ ."

She kept her leg propped up long enough for him to line up at her entrance, hissing when he first began to press in, stretching her abused muscles even as they tried to loosen enough to accept him. His tremors were back full force, and she didn't know if it was his new feverish need to touch her, or if he'd have shaken this badly no matter the scenario.

Daryl began mouthing at her shoulder, her neck, her jaw, chest heaving against her back as he swiveled in her swollen hole, until Beth thought she'd scream.

"Lil' more," she begged, sinking nails into the hand that had gone back to clutching her thigh, urging him on. "Daryl."

"Alrigh',  _ fuck _ ," Daryl groaned lowly into her hair as he pushed another slow inch in. "How bad did I fuckin' hurt'cha earlier?"

Beth echoed his noise. "A lot." She could hear the smile in her voice, the blade's edge grin as she shoved her hips back, successfully sheathing him within her clamping walls. "Do it again."

_ Once more, just once. _

A choked sound made it clear of his throat, turning into something closer to a pained growl. He didn’t move though, she could just hear his measured breaths, feel the pulsing inside her.

“Nah,” he panted, and she closed her eyes to savor the jagged quality of his voice. “Said ya wanted it slow.” Needle pricks near her neck as he shook his head almost harshly, a note of warning in the adamant way he kept his prodding pace sluggish.

At first it seemed like he was making her pay for her little bit of fun. His rocking was tortuous, dick coating itself with each measured stroke, gradually stretching her. Each time Beth tried to up his speed, or buck her hips in agitation, he used the hold on her hip to stop her. That, and the man had a maddening sense when it came to knowing when she was about to try something, moving with her to cancel out any of her sudden movements, making her chase his dick with little to no reprieve.

Beth didn’t know anymore, which one of them was more unbalanced. The only thing that apparently made  _ any _ sense, was her need for him to be fucking her until she could feel him hot and surging as deeply as possible. And wasn’t that just another thing they were going to need to talk about?  _ She _ sure as hell needed to deal with how damn attached she was becoming to having him bare, having him emptying everything he had into her. 

What it meant that he seemed to feel the same. 

“You’re real interested in listenin’ to me all of a’ sudden huh?”

She’d meant it to be teasing, but either she’d missed the mark or it tripped something in his too raw psyche. The gust of breath at her nape was followed with a snapping thrust that kicked a cry of relief from her. He kept his out-strokes slow, built the anticipation to a dizzying amount, and then slammed the breath out of her on his way back in. Her heartbeat was in her throat, pounding in her tongue, blocking her ears with the force. It picked up until she was sure it’d burst, but instead of being worried, she pursued it like a death wish. He still wasn’t letting her do much of anything, but she got her arm up and around to cradle the back of his head, held him close as the occasional slap of skin echoed around their clearing.    

“I didn’t-naaah.” Her response turned into a wail as he pulled almost all the way out before plunging back in with a grunt. 

Daryl’s hand dropped her thigh without warning, making her have to work in order to not choke as the change in position tightened the passage he was rutting into. She expected his hand’s destination to be her breasts, after all, he’d made his love for that part of her anatomy well known. But after giving one a cursory squeeze, he was once more covering her racing heart with his palm, feeling as the drumroll happened below her sternum. His hand on her heart was better than if that same pressure had been applied to her clit, and Beth sobbed out a moan while snaring her fingers deeper into his hair. 

She’d had to cut herself off for the past several days, had been cold and detached in order to complete what needed to be done. But similarly to when she’d almost lost herself after Grady, Daryl wouldn’t let that coldness remain.

Her cunt was a molten hardline to the rest of her body, running scalded tracks to her spine, her heart, the neck and skull that reared back into his arm as he finally picked up the pace and ran smelted iron throughout the rest of her body. Beth knew he was close when his rhythm began to falter, when that hand on her chest slid up to her throat like it had yesterday. Not to squeeze or tighten, but to feel her erratically beating pulse, the one thundering in the hollow of her throat. 

The noise he made when he came, a hoarse cry, the warm gushing spill of him inside her – told her how badly he’d needed the release. In comparison, Beth’s own orgasm actually hit her in a surprisingly quiet way.

Much,  _ much _ , quieter than what she’d expected it to be, but still beautiful, because of its peace.

It stole her breath, pressed tears from her eyes, strained her muscles so that Daryl had to cage her to him, but otherwise, she was silent as the storm rolled through.

Full and satisfied, Beth couldn’t help the lethargic way she slid along his slowly softening dick. The inquisitive way she rotated herself around him, felt something heated roll down her thigh in a thick drip.

This was a new kind of reckless.

They laid breathing until the first light peeked over the treetops.

Never so fucked out before in her life, idly watching the changing hues of the world around her, Beth refused to move a single centimeter. Instead, she kept her back pressed firmly along his chest and stomach, counting his exhales as, at first, they evened out and then began to stutter. The abdominal muscles against her spine, separated by two thin layers of clothing, flexed as he pulled out. Shifting around until she was facing him, Beth squirmed to tuck herself against his frame. 

Possibly he’d planned a retreat of some kind, but she wasn’t looking to let that happen.

Hands to his cheeks and lips to his, sweeping away the small trails of moisture with her thumbs, she kept him right where he was. There with her. Daryl burrowed into her hold, scrubbing the emotion away as he held her gaze, rested a heavy arm on her side. It’d been purgatory, being apart; knowing every hour that ticked by was filled with some unmentionable amount of hell for him. 

Beth peered into his eyes, held his face steady when he would have pulled away.

The strengthening light of the rising sun helped to highlight those features of the face she loved best. Not surprisingly at the moment, they looked entirely wrecked as he looked back at her. Days. That’s all it had been, not even a full week, but it felt like months. Years even. Tracing the new characteristics of his expression, she realized that he in fact appeared  _ to be _ years older. Each day, each hour, had carved new lines in him, deepened the darkness under his eyes. He was lifetimes more haggard than she’d noticed when first seeing him next to his motorcycle at the Sanctuary, at the time she’d only cared that he was up on two feet and moving.  

“Know it’s my fault,” She nearly gaped at him, shocked, as her fingers twitched, ruffling some of his scruff as he kept talking. “Heard what ya said b’fore, that it wasn’t.” Head shaking in her hands, whiskers sliding and catching between her knuckles, he hugged her with his shrug. “But you were right the first time around.” He kept her gaze, clearly miserable. “I fucked it all up again.”

“I didn’t say that,” she answered, feeling as her brows bunched. “I’d  _ never _ say that ‘cause it isn’t true.” 

A breath was shot hard from his nose as he tried to move back, hand coming up in order to gently push hers away from him. It was bad luck, and she marveled that it hadn’t happened prior to this point, that his rough palm caught on the stitches in her arm. It wasn’t a hard grip, but it snagged the black weaving and made her bite back a yell. 

Daryl was half up by the time she could finish her next blink, head dropping quickly without his support, her arm suddenly cradled between both of his. Without him saying a thing, she read his frustration, as he traced the multiple winding lines that went down her forearm. Knowing Daryl, the anger was two-fold, that the wound was there in the first place, and that he obviously hadn’t noticed it until now.

“How?”

She shook her head at his question, he was  _ not _ about to change the subject after what he’d just said. Raising herself up a bit, Beth snared his gaze when he tried to look away from her.

“I  _ didn’t _ say that.” 

His eyes finally managed to skitter away from hers, gentle rotation of her arm to check the work, and he at last glanced back up at her through his hair. “Gonna be stubborn about this, ain’tcha?” Beth’s forehead wrinkled with her climbing brow line. That really shouldn’t have ever been in question.

Had he not  _ met _ her?

“Mhmmm.”

Some fingers came up to glide near one of the tracks, probably checking for heat or irritation, she watched as he shook his head again. Noticed not for the first time how brutally he did so. Questioning what he saw? Or what he hadn’t? 

“Maybe it was in my head,” he said, low like a confession. “Thought ya came to me right after…after the road.” He let go of her and got to his feet, tucking himself back into his pants with a zip. “Told me you were dead, that it was my fault.” Beth snatched her clothes up and began yanking them into place as he went on, only able to zip the jeans he’d successfully popped the button off of. “Told me ya loved me.” His voice went hoarse, and Beth was so busy watching his face that she got her boot on the wrong foot and had to start over. “Said ta’ stay alive, to listen to you this time.”

With a self-directed huff she stood up, surprised when he didn’t flinch away. She needed to be touching him. He needed it too, no matter how tangled his head was at the moment. And he knew that, she could tell he did. Cheeks hot when she once again placed her cooler palms against them. Body taught but still, he was trying so hard to not escape from whatever she was about to say next.

“I did see you right after, but you had a concussion and you’d lost a lot of blood.” She moved a hand to graze high up on his chest, he stayed totally still, either there wasn’t any pain in the wound or he couldn’t care enough to feel it. His eyes were piercing under his lashes, and she tilted his chin up, if only to prove she had nothing to hide. “Told you I  _ wasn’t _ dead, and that they’d try to make you think it was your fault but it  _ wasn’t _ .” Daryl curled his body into hers. Beth tipped their foreheads together. Her fingers riffled through his facial hair, her lungs sighed when his did. “ _ Because it wasn’t _ , Daryl.”

“Thought it was you sayin’ goodbye,” he whispered, and even now she could tell how much the idea mangled him. How much his belief had worked to crush and ravage what was left of his sanity after thinking he’d gotten her killed “Ghost. Spirit.  _ Somethin’ _ .”

She shook her head, keeping their foreheads together so that his head moved side-to-side with hers in a slow denial. He was all raw edges, frayed beyond belief, but she knew him. He was stronger than he’d ever been willing to give himself credit for, and twice as kind as he’d ever admit to. Beth didn’t think there were ways enough or words enough to tell him how much she loved him. 

To blame him for her death? 

Impossible. 

To ever blame him for  _ anything _ , even the shit he actually  _ did _ do now and then that made her want to throttle him was difficult for her sometimes. And this reaction that she was seeing, the way he turned all that pain inward, was exactly why she’d always find it hard to. 

There was a time, like when he’d berated her about taking a mirror’s sharp edge to her wrists, that Beth had thought it was because he coped by doing the opposite of what she saw now, that he lashed out all around him to keep the aches at bay. But actually, he’d been so filled with the malignancy of his life growing up, that there hadn’t been an untorn section left in him. He’d  _ had _ to redirect that hurt in order to survive.  

“You’re stuck with me a while longer, Mr. Dixon.” She moved back enough to see his face, watched as he swallowed roughly then sank his hands into her back pockets. 

With a surprised laugh she was hauled up against his body, feet leaving the ground as she wrapped her hands around his neck. Daryl nuzzled along her cheek, bumped their noses together, took careful breaths while feeling her warm and alive against every inch of him. At last, he sat her back down, giving her ass a final squeeze and letting her go, only to catch her stitched arm.

This time a pointed look followed his question.

_ “How?” _

She shrugged, hooking a free finger underneath his shirt to feel the small springing hairs along his stomach. “He said he had to make that swing look believable.”

Something wild and nearly frenzied flashed in his eyes, and the rest of her hand joined her fingers in stroking calming passes over his jumping skin. There was something not quite right there. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t the same person as he’d been before. That was understandable. She certainly wasn’t the same person that had sat and sang in a funeral home for him. It just needed to not get him hurt, get him killed. She’d have to make sure he could get a handle on it. They’d somehow changed places without her ever expecting to. She was going to have to keep  _ him _ alive until the chaos Negan had inserted into his head was able to dissipate.

“Let’s go get that water.” 

Daryl blinked multiple times, locking away one rabid thought at a time while she watched in a kind of morbid fascination. It was like watching a fire smother itself slowly – that storm she’d felt raging at her back gave one more gust for a final time before withering away to a breeze. 

Appearing more like himself once more, he tentatively scooped up her hand in his, lacing their fingers haltingly as if he’d almost forgotten how. Beth gave him a smile, a real one, as big and as bright as she could. Because even if she was worried, could guess at some of the issues coming up, he was with her again. They were together, everything else would come later, but this moment was her orgasm flowing through her in an echo.

_ Peace. _

For now, peace.

They’d only trekked halfway through the small clearing, Daryl having finally agreed to don his vest and bow again, when she started noticing the walkers that lay unmoving under the gently swaying trees. She counted five in all, and that was only to the left side of their campground. Snapping her sight to the man at her side, Beth glared at him until the narrowness of her eyes inhibited some of her vision. Perceptive as ever, he attempted to hold her stare for all of an instant before dipping his chin and tightening his grip. Clearly worried that she’d sever their connection, Daryl brought them to a stop and motioned dismissively at the sprawling dead.

“Told ya I’d take care of anythin’ that came lookin’.” He was chewing at the inside of his lip and white-knuckling his bow strap. “Didn’ wanna wake ya after…”

Heat like a Georgia summer smacked into her and Beth took a stuttering inhale that greatly diminished her ability to keep scowling as she had been. Those  _ particular _ memories might mess with her ability to have a coherent thought for  _ decades _ to come. Stepping into him, she curved an arm around his waist, and watched as some of the color came back into his fingers. They desperately needed to find some water, enough to drink and ideally enough to wash up with, but there were things she needed to be sure of before they left the clearing.

“That was sweet of ya,” she murmured, watching how he shifted, obviously expecting what she was about to say next. “But you gotta trust that I can help when it comes to a fight.” He gave a little shaking wobble of his head, causing another wave of nostalgia to crash into her. “If you don’t, I’m gonna holler atcha somethin’ fierce, just like you did to me after Grady. There’s no reason for either one of us to risk gettin’ bit when we work so well as a team.”

Daryl’s face scrunched up on one side, cheek bunching as his mouth yanked down at the corners.

When he was still silent, she dug her nails into his back, grinning at his grunt and the reluctance of his eventual nod. Letting go of the strap, he combed nearly blackened fingers through the insanity that was her hair. She’d never gotten a chance to redo it after he’d started things last night. Beth made a face, feeling all of the many snares and tangles he encountered on his way through. Daryl stalled momentarily, his face lightening a bit as something occurred to him. Freeing himself in careful movements, his hand dug into the pocket of the too large pants hanging loose on his hips.

Curious, she leaned over to see what he extracted, air dying in her chest when she finally saw.

A strip of cloth.

Torn and worn through in spots, covered in something that looked suspiciously like blood, Daryl deposited the precious thing in her palm. She couldn’t see again, but at least this time the tears remained within the confines of her lids. 

“L’find ya some water,” he promised quietly. “Get washed up an’ I’ll get it tied back on. If ya want.”

She nodded jerkily, fisting her hand over the cloth and wrapping her arms around him.

They’d be ok.

They had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me any thoughts you have time for, I really appreciate it!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl's trying to deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Woah, I missed a week, sorry guys. If it's any consolation all I'm doing besides work is writing. I have one other chapter going for FotW but then I might let it go for a bit so I can focus on some of the new fics I want to get started before the summer is over.
> 
> Happy Reading!

**Chapter 37**

He was a study in opposites.

Never in all of his life could he remember being so tired, eyes dry and scratching with every blink. However, with her hand in his, the trees stretching up around them, the ground giving and living under his feet, he felt more awake than seemed reasonably safe at the moment. Add to that dichotomy, the one that had his body feeling hollow, spent, torn all to shit, but at ease too, satiated down to his fucking core despite all that’d been done to him. 

All that he’d done.

His mind wasn’t immune to this new state either. It was probably the greatest contributor to it actually, alternately yowling and purring at him as he and Beth made their way through the area in search of some water. He was a broke-ass carousel, or on one, all the world spun around him, and his mind spun around the world in return. Every now and again he had to give the hand in his an extra squeeze, because the babbling thing in his head told him she wasn’t actually there.

Made him a stomach wrenching kind of certain that his hand would close on open air, that one of these times he’d look over, and only find sunshine on glossy leaves meeting his sight. Depended more than he should have on her answering clench, on her soft smile each time he turned his head towards her in a moment of urgent distress. It was going to be a long fucking walk at his current rate. The worst part of it was that he was honestly trying to act at least a tad bit normal, wanted desperately (maybe too fuckin’ desperately) to not worry her about how he was doing.

_ Stupid. _

He knew she wasn’t capable of being anything other than concerned when it came to him, because there was never going to be a day where he wasn’t thinking about how  _ she  _ was doing. It’d been like that since before the first backrub or first kiss - figured with him - that it’d been the first blowout fight that’d done it. After that Beth had become so much more than some figurehead for home and hearth, some untouchable symbol of the world they’d been trying to keep a piece of. She’d become flesh and blood and fucking miraculous all in one screaming match that’d all but knocked him on his ass.

She was going to want to talk, for him to talk, and he didn’t know how much time she was willing to grant him before that happened. Might give him a good long while to herd his thoughts into a certain manageable pen,  _ might  _ at any moment spring the conversation on him while they trekked along. 

He’d hoped not acting like a crackhead would buy him more time, but he didn’t seem capable. 

The unbalance was just constantly picking at him, making him fidgety. He wanted to peel himself into pieces. Pick out the damaged and decayed bits that were poisoning the rest of him, but all that’d probably happen then, was him realizing how little remained that  _ wasn’t  _ riddled with some sort of wrongness that wouldn’t quit. The sleep deprivation didn’t help, neither did the stabbing pain in his ribs, the dozen or so sites of deep bruising. None of that mattered as much as finding Beth something safe to drink and a place to wash if possible.

It’d be good to get the stink of sorrow and hatred off of him.

Be better still, to bring his girl any amount of relief that he could.

The tranquility around them was nice though. He’d apparently slaughtered anything within range, which would make him less twitchy when it came to cleaning up. They’d be taking turns anyhow with someone always on watch, but the lack of walkers was reassuring to see. The question filtered through the bleeding wounds of his mind, about how long they’d be at the camp before Jesus or one of theirs showed up to let them know what was going on. There was an odd sense of confliction there. It’d be good for Beth to see Maggie, especially since Daryl had been certain up until last night that the older Greene sister had died. Of course, he’d like to see everyone too…

At some point.

But right now?

A quick glance at Beth, her eyes up and watchful, one hand on her knife handle, moving almost as quietly as he did through the low foliage, and he felt some more of his pain ease. This was exactly what he needed. Not a lot of people, a lot of questions, curious eyes staring, or whispered things that were still too loud. Only his girl and the outdoors, enough room to breathe, enough time to feel her heartbeat tap a staccato rhythm against his palm while he... 

The phantom sensation was all it took to bring on another knee buckling wave of want that literally tripped him, made him pull up short.

At her inquisitive frown he shook his head, adjusted himself without remotely trying to hide it, and searched around them for any signs of water. Listening intently, closing his eyes to the distracting amount of sensory input coming from Beth, he picked up the barest trickling noise from further down the hillside. Another bit of luck, another thing to distrust. It was never what it seemed, when everything started going his way, it struck him as singularly unrealistic given his prior life experience. Following the noise nonetheless, he and Beth picked their way down until a decently sized stream came into view. 

Shallow and quick moving, it looked clean and clear to his eyes. The track it ran on was a muddy one though, and he stopped her when his girl went to let go of his hand. No way in fucking hell had they gone through all of what they had, just for her to get walker-bit in the calf now. Eyes scanning for a suitable tool, he motioned her toward a large branch, teeth gritting when he had to release his hold in order for her to heft it. Striding along the stream’s edge, he found another sturdy enough piece of wood and met Beth’s curious gaze. 

Jabbing the branch into the fine silt and then looking back up at her, Daryl walked towards Beth while working the improvised walker-detector into a serpentine pattern. She made a surprised little  _ oh  _ face, before following suit and meeting him in the middle. It wasn’t foolproof but at least he’d have some reassurance that a good chunk of the stream was safe for her to be in. Woman was grinning up at him, looking all proud of him and shit, like he’d done something praise worthy. 

Kneeling down he cupped some of the water into his mouth, got a fair amount of grit with the liquid, but it tasted clean. They didn’t have shit to hold it in, and definitely nothing to boil it in, so his skills in this department better not be lacking. They’d need to drink up now, make trips back a couple times a day, the situation wasn’t one he’d like them to have to maintain for long. Beth crouched at his side, waiting for his nod, she took several careful swallows and sighed when the water hit her no doubt empty stomach. 

In between gulps, he watched her fish out the sad bit of cloth from her pocket, tried to lax the constriction in his throat at how lovingly she washed it. Painstakingly rubbing the excess dirt and blood from the threadbare weave, she took such care with the damn thing, probably should’ve just burned it.

But he’d never tell her that.

And he’d never fucking  _ dream  _ of actually doing it.  

When she seemed content with the progress she’d made, Beth offered him her arm, body twisting towards his with a peaceful little smile on her face as he secured the strip back where it belonged. He thought about chiding her goodnaturedly about her attachment to the band, but the sigh she gave was so pleased, that he couldn’t quite bring himself to even open his mouth for the attempt. 

After they had gotten all the water in them that they could, without making themselves sick, the two got to their feet and looked over the area once more. He felt relatively secure in their safety for the next little while, there was birdsong in the trees, general forest life going on around them. A usual sign that nothing was creeping around. 

“I’ll take first watch,” she told him, going up on tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. Daryl could almost see her vibrating with her excitement at being able to wash off what could only be a day’s worth of dirt, sweat, and...well come to think of it, guess he couldn’t blame her for being excited. What with the mess he’d gone and made of her. “An’ I’ll try real hard to be the lookout too.”

She winked at him.

Actually fucking  _ winked  _ while her smile spread wide across her face.

_ Fucking miracle. _

His throat stuck together so that his derisive scoff came out as more of a choked cough.

“Ain’t gonna be much to see,” he said, pulling the strap of his bow over his head, handing it to her without a thought. “Here, don’ worry ‘bout wastin’ arrows, at least that dickhead was good fer somethin’. Put ones that weren’t splintered ta’ shit in there.”

She nodded happily, the promise of a bath no matter how cold clearly brightening her mood, and looked at him expectantly when he didn’t continue to move. Hesitating for only a moment or so more, Daryl said to hell with it and ducked down to cover her mouth with his. It was meant to be a fast peck, a thank you, but his synapses fired off straight pleasure at the feeling, so he melded their lips together and stepped in closer. Her tongue prodded at the seam of his mouth until he shyly met it with his own. Control, like communication, was not in his wheelhouse at the moment, but thank Christ, Beth seemed to have enough for the both of them.

Daryl might have started the kiss but it was apparent within the first few liquid passes that she was the one dictating how it went. Every time his resolve to pull away snapped and he ended up diving hungrily in for more, she’d sway back just a little, reminding him without a sound that they’d come there to do something else. Plus it wasn’t safe, the camp had proven itself defensible, but out here by the water was an unknown element where he didn’t need to be losing his head at. 

With a quick jerk he was able to break the kiss, close to panting when his eyes met hers, saw the largeness of her pupil, had to tip his head back just in order to breathe.

“You ok?” The sound of her voice didn’t help, made his dick twitch in his pants, fingers flex with the urge to find her pulse point. Feel it beat out the melody of her life in order to make that damn babbling thing shut the fuck up for a minute. “Daryl?”

He nodded, throat stretched tight, his next swallow making it feel like his Adam’s apple was about to split the hot skin that it harbored underneath.         

The open button-up that was over his short sleeved shirt was slid down his shoulders along with his recently reacquired vest. There was a prickling on his lips, the backs of his eyes, the shivering muscles along his abdomen, as Beth slid patient hands under the shirt’s hem, helped him get it all the way off. His neck hinged, chin almost hitting his sternum, eyes cracked back open to watch her business-like treatment of his pant’s button and fly. Arms that felt like they each weighed more than his entire body came up to assist in getting the last couple layers down, only for them to both realize he was still wearing boots.

A quick flash of her blues on his, was the only warning he got before she was beginning to kneel and he had to shuffle backward like a fucking moron, barely avoiding a sudden meeting between the ground and his bare ass. He was so fucking hard that it hurt, shot pangs up into his stomach, as the damn hyperactive bastard bobbed in search of her. Unable to meet her eye, not due to any bashfulness or embarrassment, but instead a knowledge that if he did, all the warnings and reasons against going farther with her would be forgotten. The air wheezed out of him as he crouched, almost breaking the laces that took too long to be untied. Daryl left the haphazard pile where it landed once he’d pawed his way out of it.

Without a word or look he waded into the shallow water, choking on curses that climbed up his throat and swung like fuckin’ Tarzan off his gag reflex. The bracing temperature of the stream was a level of reality that tried to rival his contact with Beth. And came real goddamn close, when the chilly motherfucker flowed over his balls and erection - redneck cold shower - he guessed now it was more like the post apocalyptic cold shower. The bitch was uncomfortable as all hell by whichever title it went by in any event.

Daryl kept his back to her, had to, just like he’d had to scramble away moments ago.

If he saw her, looking at him, wanting him...

_ Ain’t enough cold water in all a’ Virginia. _

So he kept himself turned away and scrubbed his grime and oil covered skin until the shit somewhat resembled a pigment of color he was fairly sure to be his customary one. Scoured every damn  _ inch  _ of him, teeth gritted and the fractured part of him screaming that the pain wasn’t nearly as much as he deserved. 

But it was a start.

Felt like he all but dragged his exhausted ass from the water, limbs lead-lined and flesh feeling like one big abrasion. Tired eyes scanned the small bank for a sunny enough patch for him to stand and dry off in. Daryl busied himself with surveying the trees as Beth wordlessly disrobed and stepped into the stream. After that it was a trade off between doggedly running his sight along the shadowy places where man or walker could hide, and viciously rubbing sand against the stubborn blackened patches on his hands.

When the time came that he got to touch her again, he didn’t want any restrictions or fuckin’ stipulations. The action helped to keep him awake too, gaze alternating between the tree line and watching the persistent grains circle and disburse the unknown stains, leaving more of him red and raw. Had to keep Beth in his peripheral vision, never looked at her straight on, just flashes of ivory and the sounds of chattering teeth now and again.

Rinsing his hands a final time at the water’s edge, he combed thick and deadened fingers through his hastily dunked hair. He yanked at any tangles, swaying minutely as he scooped up palmfuls of cold water to work through the places that it hadn’t reached the first time around. Anything to keep his fucking lids from staying closed too long between blinks. 

A weary  _ thank you _ was sent up when Beth’s form made its way to him.

Daryl struggled to his feet, wincing with each received or self-inflicted injury that clamored for his attention to be felt first. He rolled his shoulders and flexed the tight muscles in his back in an attempt to prepare his body for the climb back up to the clearing, clocking her mincing steps onto dry land. She stood a ways down from him, and even though he told himself not to, his eyes dragged over the ground to trip over her pale and shivering limbs that were dappled and splotched with the bruises he’d given her. Arms hugging and spine curving in on itself, the woman looked far less thrilled with her newfound cleanliness than she’d been about it going in. 

For a couple stretched minutes she resolutely stood in the mid-morning sunlight and didn’t return his gaze. But then a particularly hard shake wracked her body, and pleading blues flicked in his direction. It was a possibility, he supposed, for them to pull on their dirty clothes over their still wet bodies and deal with the inconvenience. Or, he could try to teeth-grit his way through keeping her warm, and then go about helping her beat some of the dirt from their clothes.

He jerked a nod and half a wave of his hand at her, and Beth hurried over with a murmur of thanks before wrapping icy arms around his barely-warmed torso. Daryl draped his own limbs around her back, hissing but refusing to let go when each of her freezing bits met all of his tender, heated ones. She wriggled into him, and he couldn’t blame her, only huffed in derision as she slotted her body more firmly against his. Her head tucked under his chin, wet strands catching on his whiskers, hands chafing up and down his abused back fitfully, trying to friction her way into some warmth.

Fuck, he was tired.

He scrubbed his palms over winged shoulder blades, thumbs moving to make arcing passes over her ribs, fingertips sliding the length of her spine and back. Cold skin, taught with chill, not lifeless though, not quite. The moisture between their bodies was water, not blood, he hadn’t lost her. Hadn’t. Throat closing, he twined himself around her more fully, shoulders hunching to protect her from any wayward breezes. He all but hooked his chin over her shoulder, their ears clipping against one another. Cold skin. But it was whole, no rents or gaping wounds, the head that huddled next to his wasn’t in pieces. 

On cue, one of his hands snapped up to cradle her skull, the only give under his pressing fingertips was the bunching of her wet and snarled hair. Her own movements stopped, not good, he wanted her as writhing and loud as he could get her. Constant movement, constant sound, constant touch that was irrefutable proof that she was real. 

That he hadn’t been fucking some dead girl.

_ Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Dixon. Where the hell did that come from? _

His body was getting warmer, seemingly ramping up the temperature in order to pump it into her too cold one. Heat trickled down from a haggard heartbeat to his dick, and he couldn’t do a thing to stop it. The hell was wrong with him? He knew he wasn’t holding a dead body in his arms, knew his burgeoning hard-on didn’t have anything to do with the idea that he was. But it was all too close together for his liking, made him feel goddamned depraved or some shit. Like he kept getting hard at the idea of her being dead, not alive, but he couldn’t tell anymore, which part of him was telling him what.

Which part he could trust. 

The babbling voice was his.

How long had it been this time? Twenty minutes or so, that he’d been able to act like he regularly would have? Was it always going to be this difficult? Or would his control only get worse, not better? 

Beth’s breathing was changing against him, becoming shallow, fingers digging into his back as she otherwise remained completely still - obviously aware of how the atmosphere had changed.

“Think it’s time ta’ talk yet?” she asked, breath whispering over his back. 

About what had just been crawling through his mind?

_ Hell no. _

His shaking head scratched along her bare shoulder, kissing an involuntary path, hands stroking down until they anchored in the giving muscle of her ass. Beth arched into him, humming in a way that made him understand what the sound had done to her all those times he’d made the noise. A small section of him was yelling about something, something to do with their location and why he hadn’t been able to watch her while she was in the water. 

Now, the only thing driving his focus, was to find the least prickly tree to boost her up against. 

Wanted to feel her alive again, prove to himself that it was a mishmash of trauma and lack of sleep making his head think such weird and nasty shit. It wasn’t him, not really, or it was, but he was just at the end of his rope. And that rope was a fucking noose. Hard to keep things straight, hard to get off the tilt-a-whirl, the carousel. Didn’t wanna think about the cell, about the man with the bat, about imagining his baby dying inside her as she laid like so much roadkill while some fucker took a polaroid of what was left.  

He wanted to go back to how it’d been.

Her smiling to see him waiting for her on the front porch, waking up in their bed with her as a pillow, or feeling her digging into his side as she changed positions for the fiftieth time that night. Sneaking kisses out by the fence, watching her track game, hearing her sing. But he’d take what they’d had last night and this morning, touching every inch of her and making it react and move for him, feeling her all around him until she was all he knew.

All the trees around them were goddamn pine, would grate her back to ribbons, give them a matching set of scarred over flesh. His arms were already burning anyway, but he didn’t want to let her go yet. Beth pulled herself up his body, long legs wrapping around his waist, forearms braced across his trap muscles, lessening his work to keep her up considerably. 

“Hey,” she said, when he went to kiss her, he was still eyeing the area for a suitable tree. To not interrupt whatever she was going to say (or that’s what he told himself) Daryl changed his target to her neck, moving his way to her water-slicked collarbone as she spoke. “We can’t do this here, ya know that.”

Did he?

He wasn’t so sure anymore.

It was so much easier to focus on what his body could do for her, what it could feel instead of his head or that manic thing in his chest. He’d done right by her when it came to that, had felt it each time she’d came. Didn’t know if he could say that for anything else though. Hadn’t listened to her half as much as he should have. Hadn’t been there for her when it mattered, not really, not every single time like she deserved.

He’d gotten her killed.

How was he supposed to atone for that?

Wasn’t this the best way, maybe the only fuckin’ way to start?

Hoisting her up some more, spreading her, he was attempting to get the angle right when her fingers dug into his neck. Close, he could feel the growing heat of her on his cockhead, and she’d see, he knew she would, once he was inside her. Just what kind of contrition he was trying to offer her with the last ounce of energy left in him. He was right at her entrance when the nails by his pulse point flexed enough to make him cringe and her voice bit out.

“ _ Daryl. _ ” Not a good tone. He’d know that shit no matter what condition he was in. Didn’t know exactly where to go from here, didn’t want to put her down, but if he kept holding her like this she was bound to tongue lash him worse than his daddy’s belt ever had. “It’s not safe here.”

Right.  _ Right. _ He knew that, he did.

He’d only wanted to show her.

Easing her back onto her feet, Daryl successfully avoided meeting her eye by going and grabbing their clothes. Shaking each one out forcefully before gathering it up with the rest of the worn collection. Still keeping his eyes down, he handed Beth her items, jerking on each of his own without comment or hesitation. She was going to make him talk, and he’d tell her without being able to stop, and when she heard all the crap that was janky and only connected in a haphazard and nonsensical way, she was going to realize how fucked up the whole thing had made him.

Might not let him touch her anymore.

He’d scare her, disgust her, freak her out and not be able to stop.

She loved him, because she was maybe as crazy as he felt right now. What would that love make her do in reaction to hearing some of the things? He maybe didn’t need to tell her the last bit, about the body thing, should keep that to himself. Was tired. So fucking tired, and it was swamping everything else, and if he could just rest maybe it would all stop being  _ so  _ awful.

They were both dressed and walking back towards camp when he came back to himself. 

_ How the fuck did that happen? _

She was holding onto his hand and there was something resolute but desperate in her constant pulling tug. Had he done something else? Said something else? Had she tried to talk to him and he hadn’t responded? Towing him, she was towing him up the hillside, striding with a clear intent of getting them back to a neutral zone. Knife out, it looked like it was clean, so he hadn’t flaked out and left her to fight on her own.

Though from the barest couple inches of her expression that he could see, girl would be more than willing to take care of business right now if she needed to. 

He picked up his pace, begging his body to keep him upright for the time it took them to travel back to where they’d been. A decently safe place, surrounded by trip wires and noise makers, where he could get some rest. If his rabid brain would let him. Beth shot him a searching look when he caught up and walked beside her instead of slightly behind like he had been. Daryl was able to meet her gaze, if barely, and nodded to her unspoken question.

He was back, he was with her.

She could count on him.

There still weren’t any walkers, and even though they both circled the campground looking for signs, there was no evidence of any other kind of visitors either. Getting back to their bedroll, Daryl finally released Beth’s hand in order to shake the thing out, before carrying it near the first line of trees. 

“Why’re ya movin’ it?”

He glanced over at her, tried hard to give her a smile, but he was pretty sure it came out a pained curve. “Yer paler than a’ ghost.” A hand waved to the general level of sunshine that infused the clearing. “Don’t want ya overheatin’, gettin’ sunstroke or somethin’.”

She was trying to read his mind he could tell, shouldn’t, the thing was illegible right now. 

Jesus had left a stash of dried goods in a lock box that he’d wedged into the downed log, and once Daryl had moved the bedding, that was his next stop. Beth watched him the entire time, staying next to the sleeping bag as she did so. He could feel it easily and it made him nervous through his exhaustion. 

He split open a pack of crackers that were mostly all crushed, probably tasted like sawdust, and handed them to her. Any moment now she was going to ask him a question, direct him in some other way to spilling out all the stinking mass that was decomposing inside of him. 

Unless it was something worse.

He’d been worried about scaring her with what he said. Had that happened already? They’d both sat down on the bedroll, Beth with her back resting against the pine they’d set up at, and were passing the cracker-dust back and forth. She was close to him but not as close as he felt she had sat by him in the past. Though, his depth perception might be off, everything was starting to look a little shiny, a little white rimmed and sparkling. She had to know though that he’d never have kept going, back at the stream, not after she’d told him to stop.

The next time she handed the package to him, Daryl cradled the back of her hand instead of plucking the food from her. Beth met his gaze, searching still, concern there even though she was trying not to let it show too much. Interest was evident, along with something heated that he was relieved to figure out wasn’t anger.  

No fear either.

He tried, to push out a sentiment, to speak silently to her like they’d done so many times.

But now more than ever, it wouldn’t come.

Her brows knit when he exhaled loudly, but still she didn’t ask. Didn’t tell him to get talking, to let it out, to get on with it already.

_ To try. _

No matter the hollow state of his stomach, he couldn’t do it anymore. Pushing her hand gently he grabbed the bow he’d laid down nearby and handed it to her. She took it a little awkwardly trying to balance it and the food in her hands, technically he still had Rick’s gun that he’d gotten off of Negan’s man, but gunshots were the last thing they wanted. When she’d gotten it settled close by, he shocked the shit out of her by lying down with his head in her lap.  Face away from her, he moved his too heavy head until it bumped against the reassuring rhythm of her breathing. Beth’s hand lighted on his back and the shudder that hit was enough to curl him in on himself. 

He could barely feel her through his vest, so it came off, her nails lightly tracing down his spine after the layer had been removed. She glided over his shoulder blades, traced patterns that intentionally or not were the same as his scars, and prodded muscles so tight they felt like just more bone under the skin. It was like his whole frame was deconstructing itself under that small moving focus. She’d press into his lats with a questioning pressure, and the tension would seep out. The shit kept trying to flow right out of his eyes. Her attention would migrate up to his neck, and Daryl had to reach and lay a heavy palm over her shin in order to keep his inhales from turning into sobs. 

It’d been so long since they’d gotten a quiet moment, and some of that was his fault, and he didn’t know if he had the means to explain to her what he’d gone through but he loved her so much. 

He’d try, they said they would when this all started, and he’d keep trying. 

“Didn’ know it was fuckin’ possible, hatin’ myself more than I had ‘fore the whole world went ta’ hell.” She paused, surprised probably, before continuing on her prior course. “Sittin’ in that cell, only thing kept me from runnin’ my head into the goddamn wall was rememberin’ what ya told me.”

Beth’s hand stilled again, and he squeezed her shin to stop her from replying, needed to get whatever he could out first. Already didn’t know what part of the Hell she wanted him to talk about, or if it was this new uncertain purgatory that had her curious. 

“Ain’t never got it ‘til now, what it feels like, not wantin’ t’survive another minute.” His head rolled so he could breathe her in, get his heart to calm the fuck down in his chest. “So much shit, in m’head, what they done.” Was he starting to not make sense? He couldn’t stop, so he hoped she could string it together. “Showed me a picture, girl all smashed t’pieces, had your band an’ I was already sure. Ya’d come to me, told me, thought ya had.”

He was crying now, but there was no one to see but her, and she wouldn’t hold it against him. 

She knew how it was, to swear never to cry again, only to have the bastards spill out anyway.

“An’ now, now I don’...” He should be careful with how he put this, but was too damn tired to police his words. If he’d wanted to do that, he should have done this earlier when there was still some strength left in him. “I tell m’self it’s happenin’ an’ yer here, but I can’ seem ta’ fuckin’ make that shit stick. Ya know? Each time I let ya go, it all…” His fingers wrapped more firmly around her leg, trying to get some semblance of control even as his eyelids refused to stay open.

Beth left off his back to curve a hand along his neck, skin on skin where he could feel her, the other hand going to his damp hair. Fingers carded through the strands, pulling it back from his face, unveiling him. And all he could do was try to stay awake and breathing.

“Doesn’ seem real,” he whispered, feeling her bend over him in order to hear. “Holdin’ ya, fuckin’ ya, hearin’ yer voice. S’like any time now m’gonna wake up back in that room, an’ you’ll be gone all over again. Just fuckin’ gone, an’ the baby in ya, an’ I know, was you, tol’ Negan ‘bout it but I don’ give a’ shit.” His body had compressed down into a miserable heap, constricted his lungs until each pass of air was a nightmare in and of itself. “Swear I don’, jus’ don’ leave me ag’in.”

He was back in the cell, his eyes wouldn’t open, she was only a force around him.

One he couldn’t make stay no matter how much he begged.

“Didn’ mean ta’ get ya killed.”

“Daryl.” 

Fuck, now he’d made her cry too. Something was shaking him, but he was a ridiculous level of tired, and so goddamn sad. Finally there was a stinging in his scalp and that something was hauling on his shoulder, turning his body by degrees. His eyes cracked open, but everything was blotched, watery colors that didn’t make sense. Rapid blinking and a bit of a squint brought her into focus before her mouth was landing soft and sweet on top of his. Limbs too far gone to move, all he could do was open to her, let her have whatever part of him she wanted. 

This slow assault was the most merciful abuse he’d ever known.

Lids stayed closed when she pulled back some, but he could still feel her, only inches above him.

“I’m not dead,” she swore to him, voice low and insistent. “You saved me at Grady, I got you out of the Sanctuary. We  _ made  _ it, we’re both here. I’ll tell ya everyday if you need me to. I promise.”

With a Herculean effort he rolled until his face buried itself in her abdomen, barely giving him space to breathe, but it was fucking perfect and he was grateful when she didn’t attempt to move him. Her fingers danced over his hair and face, the other lying itself on his side, touching him as much as possible. He couldn’t talk anymore, but she seemed alright with that, allowed him to cuddle up to her while she kept letting him know with each glide of her fingertips that she was still there.

That they had in fact made it.

And he swore to Christ he’d do a better job of making sure they kept it that way. 

For as long as they could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's that, drop a comment if you get a chance, thanks as always for reading!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. - Thank you guys so much for all the support and excitement for the fic! So happy everyone is still enjoying the story line. I have this chapter and one more and then, I don't want to say the dreaded H word (hiatus) but it's going to be a little while after the next chapter before I update this one again because boy howdy I am running out of time given the amount of stuff I want to get done. 
> 
> Thanks again for the understanding and support!
> 
> Happy Reading.

**Chapter 38**

 

She went back and forth. 

Finger combing out the massive tangle that was her own hair, stroking slowly through his, watching as his body swelled and relaxed with each breath. It was too bad, she thought, watching the hard set of his features, that even in his sleep he didn’t look relaxed. It was no safer, more than likely, his sleep from his waking hours. Just as many monsters and memories to plague him, all the worse for being inside his skull. Enemies long dead could terrorize him, people he’d lost could blame him for things that were never in his control.

His need for sleep was undeniable and unavoidable though, given what had been done to him, and the state of his mind. Beth wanted him to get as much rest as possible. But him unconscious wasn’t completely without risk. It’d only been an hour perhaps when he’d begun to twitch and mumble in her lap the first time. Torn hands grasping, jerking with a spasm that spoke of some violence she couldn’t see. She’d grazed her nails against his scalp, other hand going to nudge his larger ones, and he’d settled. Head nuzzling against her thigh, she wasn’t sure how he could breathe with how closely his face was to her abdomen, but he was, and each deep inhale served to calm him further so she left him be.

The time ticked by and her body gave light complaints that she ignored. If he’d been able to function with less sleep and more injuries, she could handle her aching back and cramping legs. Wanted to see what some sleep would do for him, if it’d help him for when he woke, to know she was living and that their time together wasn’t one more Negan-devised trick. 

There was a lot in her life these days that had made her feel like her heart couldn’t take another rip without turning into a useless shivering thing in her chest. Her mama and Shawn stumbling out of the barn, seeing the sword come down into her daddy’s neck, bloody remains next to some railroad tracks and a child’s shoe...And Daryl Dixon sobbing.

He’d begged her not to leave him again.

That wasn’t a promise she could make, but she’d do  _ anything  _ in order to stay with him.

She watched as the shadows continued to shrink and the heat increased, Daryl’s warmth combined with it until sweat was sliding around under her clothes. Sighing, she ran light fingertips over his shoulder, not really even touching him, wondering if he’d be alright with another trip down to the stream when he got up. Though, she may want to see if he was up for another activity  _ before  _ they went to the water. If the same heightened desire hit him, she didn’t know if she’d be able to stop them like she had last time.

It was like the hunger in her belly was tied to the hunger in her cunt, and neither of them could find much respite. Her stomach she could understand, after all, she’d only had some far gone crackers and multiple cold water swallows. Not exactly the meal she needed considering how much activity they’d...But it’d be alright, she figured, while casting her eyes in another sweeping check around her, they could hunt if Jesus didn’t come back soon. Get some squirrel or possum cooked up and that’d tide them over while they waited. She was anxious of course to see her sister, to hear what was planned, and what was going to happen next, but this was good too.

Beth looked down at Daryl, the slope of his shoulder down to his hip, the curve of his body and bend of his knee. She’d wanted to take a closer look at the wound he’d gotten while the Saviours were rounding them all up, the one they’d patched for him. More closeness hadn’t been a viable option however, given how rabidly they currently wanted each other. If the freezing temperature of the water hadn’t overcome her stubborness, she’d been set on not tempting him anymore than her very existence caused. No matter how she’d tried, it seemed like she’d blinked and the next thing she’d known, he had her up and so very close, and it would have been easy to give in.

She would have too.

If her memory hadn’t chose that moment to callback to a certain time they’d been in the woods. His bow in her hands, him pressed all against her back, and she’d thought there’d be little issue if she tried his willpower just  _ a tad _ more. Nothing bad had happened, but he’d gotten so pissed off at the both of them. And  _ he’d  _ been the one to find them condoms, and had done his best in spite of her, to wear them and lessen the chance that something other than walker or enemy could take her from him. And she hadn’t exactly helped him those times. Thought he’d...actually it’d been hard to think about anything other than getting him anyway that she could.

So now she had to be the responsible one...besides the protection thing…

Beth’s conscious skipped away from that line of introspection though. She’d been so disgusted with Lori for bringing a baby into this awful reality, until it’d been up to her to watch Judith and then she’d understood the hope there was in continuing to live and not just survive. Lord only knew if she was capable of having children anyhow, could be barren, he could be sterile, they could have sex for years maybe and never conceive. It’d happened to couples she’d known in their congregation back home, and considering the less than stellar conditions of her diet and all the rest…

But she wasn’t thinking about it.

It was still so soon for them to be having kids, just on a relationship front, but this world didn’t cater to a thing like timelines any longer. What if the day came that she found out she’d been wrong? That Daryl wasn’t the last man standing? There’d be no piece of him left on the earth. But was that fair to whatever little life they brought into it? Judy, just like all of them, was constantly at risk to experience the kind of brutal death that Beth herself had sought suicide over in an attempt to avoid.

She wasn’t thinking about it, really.

Right now she had a redneck in her lap that was having another nightmare, rolling slightly back and forth on his side and flinching. She couldn’t hear what he was muttering, but it turned into a constant whine in any event, so she wasted no time trying to understand. Leaning down slightly, she sang lowly, just some half-remembered lullaby that’d been sung to her and that she’d sang to Judy and some of the other kids at the prison. The hand that’d stayed pressed to the side of his, curled carefully around some trembling fingers, and she waited until he hummed and burrowed into her. It was only then that she stopped and slowly released her hold.

Needed to keep quiet.

Not so much because she didn’t want to attract walker or man, unless it was a large group of Saviours, she was a rational level of confident in their ability to handle themselves. It was more of not wanting to wake Daryl a moment too soon. Man deserved all the sleep he could get, and she’d be greatly  _ freakin’  _ displeased with the geek or goon that ruined that. So she kept her hands free and gaze searching, every now and then lying a hand on his bow just to reassure herself it was still there and ready.

As the afternoon passed her by, in order to stay awake, Beth began running through the things they’d need if they were to stay at the campsite. It wasn’t like they could exactly take the chance of going on a scavenging run, hazard getting caught out in the open somewhere they were even less prepared to fight at. But if they got looking at the objects that Jesus had used for noise makers along the trip lines of the perimeter, maybe they’d at least find something that could be used to hold water in. If Daryl wasn’t resting so comfortably on her now, she’d be out gathering firewood for whatever meal they could scrounge up.

A slight rustling snagged at her awareness and Beth ticked her head to the side to listen. It’d come from the other side of the now brilliantly lit clearing. Peering in that direction, she saw nothing, but rarely had that ever meant that nothing was actually there. Careful not to disturb the peacefully resting man who was still happily using her as a pillow, Beth pressed her spine into the ungiving bark of the tree she’d been resting against, and all but stopped breathing in order to hear more clearly. The same noise again, this time louder, closer, and furtive. It stopped and started as whatever made the sound seemed to hesitate every few steps.

Man then.

Walkers tended to either hold still or trudge in whatever direction they’d last seen movement, even if that movement was just other walkers. It sounded too heavy to be an animal, unless it was a large one, and somehow Beth really didn’t think their luck was good enough to have a deer or other large game mosey into a campsite that probably reeked of humans and sex. She gingerly picked up Daryl’s bow, and twisted painstakingly slow in order to shoot if necessary from her current position. Just there, amongst the trees a figure crept from one piece of cover to the next, as she watched, one of their darting passages showed a flash of silver. Weapon of some kind, probably a knife. Might mean they didn’t have anything long range which worked out well for her. 

She sighted her shot and waited, the person was coming from the direction that Jesus and the others had gone through on their way to Hilltop and Alexandria. But that didn’t necessarily mean anything, there weren’t many ways to get to this location, the wraith-like being could have come from anywhere. Keeping her breathing steady, Beth continued to wait even as her heartbeat refused to, the dang thing kicking up ten notches with each second that went by. There had to be a level of certainty, that whoever it was out there, intended to do them harm. Taking life might not completely devastate her as it once had, but she wasn’t willing to be ruthless if it wasn’t necessary.

Felt too warm and whole again, for that to be the case.

When the person reached the clearing and started skirting it, Beth released her breath and let the bow sway down. Muscles shivering, she recognized the long leather coat and beanie, Jesus continued his way around, starting visibly when he finally caught sight of them. It was ridiculous, for her to feel a sting of what felt like dismay, but at some point she’d really started thinking they might stay here for a while. Some part of her knew that he needed the quiet, needed the forest to help him heal. 

They’d have to make due, as they always did.

She offered Jesus a tired smile and slight wave, placing the weapon fully on the ground before speaking.

“Hey.”

It hadn’t really occurred to her, how Daryl might actually  _ react  _ to being woken up suddenly. Or at all. Hadn’t considered that it might have been best for everyone, not simply him, that he remain unconscious. Powerful body rising instantly into a lurching crouch, he locked onto Jesus’s presence and coiled, a beat away from tackling the intruder. Almost like a reflex, even though she’d never done it, Beth whipped her hands forward. One closing around his wrist, the other hooking around his shoulder, she hissed his name when his wildly searching eyes snapped over to hers.

It took him only a moment to recognize her, the stone ran out of his muscles and she felt it turn back into living flesh under her palms. Their look went on as she watched nearly his full range of emotion kaleidoscope its way behind his eyes. Rage, fear, recognition, sadness, and then flipping suddenly to the other side of the spectrum, disbelief, happiness, joy, love and finally something yearning that caused her to clear her throat - look back to their small audience of one.

She watched in her peripheral vision as it took him a few more long moments to finally turn his focus to the man he’d almost attacked. From the tales of Jesus she’d gotten from Rick and Daryl, he was probably more than capable of dodging or parrying any form of assault from her man right now. Daryl’s condition being considerably poorer than the last time the two had gotten into it. Nevertheless, she’d prefer to lessen the chances of any miscommunication or suspicion on Jesus’s end of things, him being the spokesperson for the Hilltop and all.

Once Daryl had worked through that they weren’t in any immediate danger, he rolled back off of his feet and onto his butt, consequently bringing their arms into a casual-looking contact. Glancing at him, Beth barely reigned in the reaction to roll her eyes at his slit-gaze look. She knew it wasn’t that he distrusted the other man, Jesus had pretty well proven his loyalty by helping to get them out of the Sanctuary. However, never ever  _ ever  _ was Daryl going to be ok with someone he barely knew seeing him in any kind of vulnerable or weakened state.

The glare clearly said, “You might have gotten the drop on me, but that’ll be the last thing that goes your way about the time this turns into a fight.”

Or perhaps more simply: “Fuck you.”

Jesus, for his part, was looking totally relieved while putting his new knife into its sheath. 

“Couldn’t see you guys where I’d thought you’d be,” he offered in way of explanation for his creeping and drawn weapon, and Beth nodded in understanding. “Came to bring you back with me.” He smiled slightly as he glanced between the two of them and then back across the clearing. “It was about all Glenn could do, getting Maggie to stay put for this long.”

“So she’s really ok then?” Part of her, an infinitesimal part, was worried she’d offend him with the question. But Jesus just nodded in understanding while she and Daryl began climbing to their feet.

“Rick was able to get her to Carson in time, she and the baby are ok. Hey-”

Circulation was a bitch, and she might have ignored her body’s signals a little  _ too  _ completely. Her knee gave a weird twinge of pain, before her entire leg buckled and went out from beneath her. Their guide reached forward to catch her, only to find his services were entirely unneeded. She was falling, and then she was swinging up, and being cradled in a familiar hold. One that initially, had her wrapping her arms around Daryl’s neck, until she realized what had happened and then gave him an exasperated smile to go along with an affectionate squeeze.

“Daryl, I’m fine, but thank you.” 

His eyes slid suspiciously over to Jesus, skating back and appraising her as if he was trying to weigh the worth of keeping a hold of her regardless of what she’d just said. 

“Y’alright? Ya sure?” 

If he hadn’t only gotten a tiny amount of sleep, if it was just the two of them, she might have stayed in his arms, if only to please him. Because it would, she knew, make him a paranoid level of happy to have her solid against his chest as they walked. But it was highly impractical, the terrain for one thing, the need to be weapons ready for another. It did feel a toasty kind of romantic, in a world doing its best to throttle such things to death, to be carried like this by him again. Like at the funeral home, like when he’d gotten her out of Grady, but she didn’t need that from him now, no matter how much he might like to. Now, she was the one that was dead set on keeping  _ him  _ steady on their upcoming trip, either physically or mentally. 

“I  _ promise _ ,” she said, grinning at him as he huffed and let her down. “Your big head just made my leg fall asleep is all.” His newly washed face reddened, and she ignored his distaste for PDA, lightly catching hold of his head with her hands and pressing a quick hard kiss to his mouth. “If you’ve broken anythin’ in there,  _ then  _ I’ll let ya carry me.” 

Jesus made an effort to hide a smile as they all worked together to pack up the camp and hide the bedroll. When they got moving, she noticed that Daryl didn’t reach for her hand, but it was blazingly apparent that he chose to walk behind her in order to keep her in constant sight. So perhaps the rest had done some good, if he could now bear not being in sustained physical contact with her. 

It certainly didn’t stop her from doing an excellent impression of him from earlier in the day, head turning every dozen steps or so to check on his progress. There wasn’t a single time when his eyes weren’t deadlocked on her. With many of the glances, she tried to send a question his way, but there was still some impediment to their ability to communicate. He seemed to get it regardless, would nod every other time their eyes met. She should have pulled him aside at the campground, asked if he was alright with their current plan of action.

Well, soon as they got another private moment to themselves she’d be able to get a handle on how capable he was of being around people. If it turned out that he felt too caged in by the Hilltop, she’d make her apologies to Maggie and Glenn, head out with him back to the campsite or wherever else he’d be most comfortable.

Their trek was largely uneventful and quiet, mostly not to attract attention, but also there was little news so far. Everyone had been able to get to who they’d wanted, but then Jesus had been tasked with getting Carl and Sasha  _ back  _ to Hilltop because there was little doubt in anyone’s mind that Negan would be hot footing it over to Alexandria at any moment to see if the escapees were hiding there. 

She could only imagine how tense things must be at the settlement right now, waiting to see if Negan carried through on his prior threats. If the prison break was going to be met with lethal force. Hopefully the others were able to act just well enough to throw Negan off the trail. 

When the Hilltop came into view, Beth felt her legs quicken their pace without her conscious command. She passed Jesus, feet barely touching the ground as the big gates opened and two dark haired people came running just as quickly through it. Her throat closed over her sob as she and Maggie collided a stone’s throw from the settlement’s entryway. They were bound to break each other’s bones, to collapse organs with the ferocity of their hug. Beth sent an apology to her already bruised skin as she allowed Maggie to press down on all of her many tender spots.

She was released only so that Maggie could move back enough to cup her cheeks, to smile with streaming eyes at one another until Beth absolutely couldn’t see any longer. Her sister was still too pale, her nearly olive tones washed out to a shade somewhere around Beth’s regular complexion. At least, that’s the vague impression she got before getting dragged in for another hug, just as tight as the first one. 

There were hushed words behind her, and Beth dropped her arms to turn, mind catching up with her emotion. Glenn stood close to Daryl who was looking uniquely uncomfortable as the two muttered back and forth, Jesus standing a polite distance away. Her man was shifting uneasily in between his periods of absolute immobility, eyes twitching to her over and over again like a compulsion he couldn’t kick. Her attention dragged back to Maggie when the brunette began talking, shaking Beth slightly as if trying (not unlike Daryl had) to make sure she was real.

“Ya made it, Bethy.” For some reason Maggie’s words made her embarrassed, had her hunching her shoulders, dipping her chin in a grudging answer. “Glenn says  _ you  _ got the lot of ‘em out.”

“Just laid the groundwork was all, really,” she corrected, wiping at her wet cheeks as she did.

Maggie gave her an incredulous look. In an attempt to get away from it, Beth glanced over her sister’s shoulder to where more familiar faces were making their way towards them. Carl and Sasha gave her quick hugs of hello, and she felt a certain tingle along her spine that said Daryl and the other two men had come up behind her.

“Well,” Maggie continued slowly, clearly not interested in letting Beth’s humble answer stay between the two of them. “Groundwork or not, I hear they couldn’t have done it without ya. I’m proud of you, Beth. Daddy would be too.”

Well, if that wasn’t just a punch in the gut.

She let out her umpteenth watery breath in the last couple of days, and tried to smile. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” she answered with a sniff. “I did beat a man senseless.”

If it was possible to feel Daryl seize up from a foot or so away, Beth was positive she just had.

“An’ I’m sure Daddy was there the whole time rootin’ for ya too.” Maggie seemed single-mindedly determined to make her bawl in front of God and everybody. If she hadn’t just gotten done doing that this morning in Daryl’s arms, there was little chance that her sister wouldn’t have been successful. “We best get in behind the wall, c’mon.”

With a jerk of her head, Maggie sent her forward, only to wrap the stoically silent man behind her in a quick hug once Beth had taken a few steps away. Another whispered something, and she watched Daryl’s face redden at whatever was said. His hands rose tentatively to pat clumsily at Maggie’s back in return, but then Sasha was putting an arm around her, and Beth got distracted as the other two began talking.

“Abe says hello and, ‘good-goddamn job you pintsized ball-crushing beauty’ which I told him was a little excessive but he said you’d appreciate the sentiment.”

“He’s right,” Beth laughed, as they walked through the open gateway. “I do.” 

“Dad told me to tell you thanks too,” Carl said, small grin curling his mouth. “You know, just the normal way though.”

“Well,” Sasha said, lips quirking as she made a face. “That’s boring as hell, but  _ fine _ .”

“How’s everyone in Alexandria?” Beth asked, anxiety creeping into her voice. “Did the Saviours hurt anyone else?”

“Not yet.” Carl’s reply was steely and she was met with a view of his clenched jaw and the brim of his hat when she looked over at him.

“Negan hadn’t sent any kind of word while we were there,” Sasha supplied, hand tightening slightly on her shoulder before letting go. “Though, that’s not really saying much. Barely had time to see Abraham and Tyreese, let those who needed to, know about what had happened.” There was something in the woman’s expression that made a prickling of dread needle in Beth’s stomach. “Kept it quiet for the most part, stayed out of sight.” 

That could mean almost anything. 

Might mean that things were unsettled back home, or that they weren’t sure what kind of surveillance their enemy was capable of. Could just be a healthy dose of paranoia that had never served them wrong. Either way, there was a definite note of foreboding that she in no way appreciated. Made her, perhaps selfishly, crave the bubble of solitude her and Daryl had had only hours ago.

The man himself was making unintelligible noises behind her, answering or responding to whatever questions or information Maggie and Glenn were giving him. They reached the common area near one of the rows of trailers, nodding to those native Hilltop survivors that walked by them. Beth felt a tug at the back of her shirt and twisted her neck to see who’d done it, largely expecting it to be Daryl, but was met with Maggie’s sparking gaze instead.

“Glenn’s gonna show Daryl where ya’ll will be stayin’. You wanna come with me? Catch up a little?” 

Beth nodded, immediately regretting the unvoiced answer when her eyes switched over to a pair of blues that were drilling into her. She caught glimmers of barely restrained panic as he allowed himself to be led away by Glenn. Jesus asked Carl to come with him on a scouting run. It was probably to, wisely, keep the teen busy and under a watchful eye. Sasha followed her and Maggie to one of the nondescript trailers, all while Beth’s heart beat an unsteady rhythm that just about fouled up her footing when it came to climbing the steps.

“People have been good enough to double up with one another in order to make room for us.” Maggie sounded a little weary, as if their emotionally charged reunion had been enough to drain her energy stores. Beth sat at a small table that was situated not too far from the cot where Sasha took a perched seat. “I knew Daryl would be just as comfortable staying out in the woods but…” The hesitation was linked with a musing smile. “I just didn’t like the idea of you, either of you, out there on your own. What with Saviours and walkers all over. Even Daryl can be snuck up on or overpowered given certain circumstances.”

Beth nodded her agreement, sight unflinchingly scanning her sister.

“How are you, Maggie? Really?”

The next smile she got was a little pained, but not enough to make her truly worry. “Just a little scare is all. Kid’s keepin’ me on my toes, hasn’t even come out yet.” At Beth’s narrowed eyes she laughed and curled her hand around Beth’s where it lay forgotten on the table. “All of us are so distrustful nowadays. Glenn was terrible, I literally had to go wake up poor Dr. Carson just so he’d, uh, just so he’d calm down.”

There was a weighted silence that followed the story, and Beth could only imagine her brother-in-law’s overwrought state when seeing Maggie again. She’d appeared minutes away from death when they’d last seen her, hadn’t received any news about her condition. One more torture to be laid on Negan’s heaping pile of sins. She sure wished they’d get a chance to pay him back, that and then some, make him as miserable as he had them. 

“How’re you?” Maggie asked in an obvious attempt to move the focus off of herself. “Did...no one, hurt you?” Hazel eyes flicked over to where Sasha was and then coming back to her. “Did they?”

It was a normal enough question, considering where she’d just come from, and the context in which she’d come. She was about to answer when she became aware of the  _ places  _ her sister’s attention lingered, skating back to her face when they’d completed the circuit. Right, well, who wasn’t excited to have an awkward sex talk with their sister, plus one? Her hands skimmed the areas she’d felt most keenly this morning, before offering her sister a weak grin.   

“Oh, um, most of these aren’t,” she stumbled, trying to figure out the proper phrasing. “ _ Bad _ bruises? Ya know?”

Her gaze slid between Sasha and her sister, waiting the heartbeat it took for them to realize what she’d meant. Two pairs of brows shot up drastically, and then Sasha was making a face somewhere between impressed and sheepish. Maggie on the other hand was simply thunderstruck. Her eyes widening cartoonishly, mouth gaping to match, she teetered between reactions until Beth blushed and smiled guiltily - displaying her own feelings about the marks. When it was unmistakable that her larger, stronger, and rougher partner hadn’t done anything displeasing, in Beth’s mind at least, Maggie finally settled on a bemused smirk.

“Well,  _ I guess _ , considerin’ the possible alternatives, that’s the best answer I could’a hoped for.”

Sasha outright snorted at her sister’s response. “You  _ guess _ ? Please, I’m  _ jealous _ . Didn’t have time for any kind of good time at Alexandria, we got hustled out of there so quick I barely got a kiss.” Her hand made a general wave in Beth’s direction. “Let alone all of... _ that _ .”

“I’m gonna quickly change the subject here, so that the images threatenin’ to pop up in my head right now don’t happen.” Maggie shut tight her lids and shook her head for good measure. “Y’all are gonna end up bringin’ back my mornin’ sickness.”

“Hey,  _ you  _ asked,” Beth said, shrugging while she ignored the heat coming off of her face. “I was only tryin’ to put your mind at ease, sis.”

Her expression must not have looked at all repentant, because Sasha choked on a stifled laugh as Maggie tried to glare at her and failed.

“Yeah, I can see how that was your aim.”

They switched topic, thankfully, to how everything had been going at Hilltop. Maggie warned Beth about the growing issue that had been, was, and was always going to be, Gregory. To say the man was a weasel felt like it’d be offensive to the entire weasel population, let alone any animals of the same genus. Regardless, Beth made a note to keep Daryl and the pseudo leader away from one another for all of their sakes.

“So how is Daryl?” Sasha asked, features forsaking all levity when Beth looked at her. “I mean, after everything he thought happened? And I don’t even know how things were for him while we were over there. Never caught a glimpse.” Maggie and Sasha traded looks. “But, Carl, said they saw each other once or twice. That he hadn’t looked too good.” A slight pause. “Rick was asking about him too.”

Beth had to swallow before she could answer. “He’ll be ok, I think, I  _ know  _ he will. I just think it’s gonna take time.” The mention of him had her whipping her head towards the nearest window, the light was fading, they’d been talking for at least a couple of hours. She had no idea if he’d been with Glenn or alone all the time since they’d parted. “Do ya mind? Should be gettin’ back to him, see how he’s doin’, where we got settled an’ all a’ that.”

“Course, yeah.” Maggie stood to hug her, as did Sasha. “It’s the second trailer down from this one, if you’re headed to the gate.”

“Thanks Maggs,” she said, tossing the words over her shoulder and doing her best not to run down the wooden steps.

What a terrible partner she was.

It was absurd to be experiencing the current level of awful that was bubbling up her esophagus, but her mind kept going back to the road. When she’d slip away into another friggin’ dimension, only to be pulled back more often than not by nothing more than his scowl. It was an impressive scowl to be sure, but she’d never been allowed to mentally wander off for long, because he’d always had her on his mind. Here she was leaving him for hours with no way of knowing how he was.

Man hadn’t been able to let go of her hand, forget the idea of having her where he couldn’t see.

She was walking as quickly as possible without drawing unnecessary attention to herself, knew it was the right trailer when she saw the door open. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, Beth peered in, and sighed in relief when she was able to immediately spot him. The layout of this trailer seemed to be almost exactly the same as the one she’d just left, and sitting on the cot that was pushed up against the wall with its foot nearest the door, was Daryl.

Back propped against the wall and legs uncaringly drawn up so that his boots dug into the bed’s top layer of sheets, he was methodically sharpening the knife in his hands. Glenn wasn’t with him, she could sense it, not to mention her brother-in-law tended to hate silence and awkward situations, and rarely remained where both were. He’d gotten Daryl a change of clothes though, colors that no doubt fit his mood, dark but faded. Long hair obscured most of his face, she didn’t really need to see it, to sense the agitation that was mirrored with each  _ swishing  _ drag of the blade against the whetstone.  

The moment her boot came into contact with the lowest stair, his movements froze, and stayed that way as she slowly climbed to the top, came through the doorway, shut the thing behind her, slid her finger against the lock until it clicked into place.There was a current in the air, one that hummed in a way she’d quickly become accustomed to when it came to him. It teased along the fine hair of her arms, caused strange palpitations in her chest, and severe clenching of just about every muscle in her body. 

When she got to him, she clocked the shallow knicks on his hand, where his control had slipped and sent the blade a little too close to his skin. None of them were still bleeding though, so they must have happened early on, looked as though he’d already cleaned them. Beth watched the knife tap on the stone, not out of impatience, but from a tremble he still wasn’t able to control. 

“Daryl,” she said, when he still hadn’t raised his face to look at her.

Her voice had the same impact on his body as his presence did on hers. Knuckles whitening, she saw his lids close, shaking breaths rattled his chest. A small step closer bumped her kneecap against his foot, thin lips parted, trembled, as if he was holding back tears. Muscle corded underneath skin, and she got the impression he was ordering his limbs to remain still, to stop shaking perhaps. When she lifted a leg to land it, bent, next to one of his, heavy boots shot off the bed’s edge in unison, clearing her a path to his lap.

Licking her lips nervously, Beth eased her other leg up so that she’d be able to knee-walk the rest of the way to him. That was, if she could get a handle on what she was in for. From his eager willingness to make room for her, she got that he perhaps wasn’t too upset with her. Or maybe he was, and just didn’t have a choice but to do whatever he had to in order to feel her closer to him. Once more her bruises flared, sent sweet pangs that pulsed down to her core. She was willing to give or be whatever he needed - a shoulder to cry on, a hole to thrust into, a heartbeat to hold in the palm of his hand until the frenzied need died down into more of a dull roar.

Her first careful movement had him all but chucking the knife and whetstone off the side of the bed. The sudden clattering making her jump and shift closer to him out of reflex, a hand coming up to brace against his shoulder. Settling slowly, part of her expecting him to go off at any moment, Beth lowered herself so that they were flush. And then his gaze was pinning her, the messy locks of his hair doing little to shield against the blaze happening in his blues. 

He tipped his head back, and any small protection she’d had slid to either side of his cheek bones. Placing her cool palms against either side of his neck, she stroked hesitant thumbs through the wild growth on his chin. 

Beth was about to speak again when something happened that she hadn’t expected.

_ Where the hell you been? _

Her lips parted in shock, taking in his narrowed eyes, the bunch and twist of his face. 

His surprise. 

When he realized she’d snared his thought, heard it loud and clear.

_ I’m sorry. _

Making sure to keep her sight locked to his, Beth pushed out all the sincerity that she could into the short reply, watched the uncomfortable constriction slacken away until his expression was one of only  _ slightly  _ wounded confusion. Quivering hands came up to curl around her waist, pulled her more firmly against him, and she let her weight rest fully against his bowed frame. It had to be hurting his back, but Daryl only gripped her tighter, kept her in place.  

_ S’alright. _

The answer was nudged at her in a bashful way from under his lashes. He clearly hadn’t expected to be able to reign that particular ability in, at least not during his moment of distress. She kept idly gliding thumb pads over his whiskers, trying to get her heart to match the slow passes. Wasn’t positive how to take this new development. Thrilled to have this piece of them back, how it should be, but worried for what her absence had made him feel. When he didn’t look back up at her, she was forced to voice her next question.

“How’re you doin’?”

He glanced back up at her, clearly preferring to stay nonverbal.

_ I’dunno. _

Well, she figured with a sigh, it was a step in the right direction anyhow.

And she’d take anything from him she could get.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so there's that, let me know what you think if you get a chance! Thanks for reading :D


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N.- Wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone and the support I've gotten for the story so far. This is going to be the last chapter for a while - I know I'm sorry - I am typing furiously trying to get things in a manageable state for me to be uploading other works before summer is over. I now have a beta for the Fix sequel, which is coming along nicely, so hopefully you guys will get to see that soon.
> 
> Happy Smutty Reading To All!

**Chapter 39**

It was better now.

He could breathe without having to tell himself to. Hadn’t thought he was going to make it for a while. Pissed at himself everytime the knife had made a new sliver-sized weeping tear in his skin. Clumsy, distracted, moments from having a panic attack, and all because he couldn’t see her. Couldn’t hear her. Didn’t know if she was still real. Repeated to himself again and again that she was. 

_ She’s real, she’s safe, she’ll come back. _

Said it until the words almost lost their meaning, until the silent chant itself was enough to distract him from the too fast beat in his chest and the too quick breath scraping at his throat. Woman wanted to have some time with her sister, her blood, least he could do was sit tight. Not be some fuckin’ pussy that interrupted their time together, stumbling into wherever they were, frightened and crazed. He knew this thing, this information, seemed like it should make sense, only…

Only what if something happened, what if that fucking little shit Gregory or some other threat he didn’t know about got hands on her? Where were Glenn and Maggie even staying? The man hadn’t said anything about it before leaving him to the peace that Daryl had thought he’d wanted. Any moment he could hear a scream, gunfire, some sign of death and chaos, and he’d have no goddamn idea where to find her. Be like his dream all over again, running around wild and unable to find her -

And then the knife would skitter the wrong way on the stone and he’d feel the bite of it.

Stopping long enough to plunge the wound into his mouth, he’d breathe and start again.

_ She’s real, she’s safe, she’ll come back. _

Even if there was some kind of threat. She’d be alright, had her sister, looked like Sasha too from what he’d seen. Three of them were capable. His Beth wasn’t no peach. The thing that went after her would find all sorts of thorns and barbs, ready to lash out and eliminate whatever threat came her way. He knew this thing too. Hadn’t she’d gotten them out? Hadn’t she fought her way to him?

It was only…

So maybe she’d be ok, but what about him? Selfish, yeah, he could admit it, all quiet like in his anxiety ridden brain. Selfish but there. He’d told her. Opened up his diseased mouth and regurgitated whatever nasty muck was harboring there. No matter the pain and the embarrassment - that he was still somehow capable of feeling even with everything, which he hated so fucking much - but he’d rambled out anything that had surfaced. Offered it to his alter for her and prayed she’d be able to help in healing him, or perhaps that was too much,  _ hoped  _ she’d get it at least. Make things easier on him, or know that he couldn’t help his nearly possessive urges to be touching and close to her at all times. But then the second she’d gotten the chance she’d gone and left him. Hadn’t even appeared to think twice about it either.

_ She’s real, she’s safe, she’ll come back. _

And when she did, he was going to...What? Bitch at her for leaving him? Like he was Lil’ Asskicker and needed to be minded?  _ Babysat _ ? Maybe. Might do. With how leaking and disjointed his head felt, might not want to but the shit could happen regardless. In all honesty, after what he’d done the first night they were back together, he knew a different kind of thing as well. He was able to do  _ all kinds _ of things he hadn’t thought were in him. Just like he was  _ not  _ able to do others,  _ swish swish _ went the knife, in the peak of his desperation he’d still checked on her. 

_ Never hurt her. _

Not in that way in any event. 

No more than she’d liked…

But then there was the noise of a boot on the bottom of the stairs and everything had flown out of his mind. Heartbeats later, there were a million things he could have pushed out to her, a number of them that wouldn’t have further exposed his current level of frailty, but it’d been the first thing to pop up. Wanting to know where the hell she’d been. Mirrors of surprised blues, and now she was in his lap, and  _ now  _ it was easier to breathe. Wasn’t a lie, what else he’d told her. Didn’t know how he was, felt all over, felt awful, felt perfect - with her between his palms. 

His eyes closed to feel her better.

She was stroking methodical passes over his scalp. Touching. Always touching when it came to Beth. Hugs and back rubs, kissing and rubbing, fucking and love making, but always touching. The action had been like a foul word in a holy place to him for so long. All of it unwanted and unsought after. An experience to be avoided, distrusted, because it came with dangers he was never sure on how to navigate around. And with her, it wasn’t so different, this touch was dangerous and had always been. Because when the reality of never getting it again had slammed into his understanding, it’d driven out the will to live right along with it. 

The real issue was that despite all that, knowing it, he still found himself tilting his head into each little connection. Nerves trembling in a wave down from where she touched, sweeping over him like goosebumps, waterfalling down to where her weight held him steady. This was as it should be, too many clothes maybe, but her frame clicking into place against his. It was what he’d needed. Surviving had felt impossible, while she was gone, but he’d done it. Small achievement, but there it was. 

Too many clothes but…

Didn’t know this place, not really. He’d need to take some time, now that control was something within his grasp once more, if still somewhat elusive, to test how secure the lock was, cover the small window that was in the door. At least she was back now. They had a proper bed again, maybe not as nice as…

The Saviors had burned their bed.

His grip tightened, making Beth shift uncomfortably on top of him. Daryl let his lids slide open to find her avidly staring at him, those knowing eyes of hers moving over each of his features as diligently as her fingers did his scalp. He was going to be able to hold her tight tonight, lock her up safe in his arms until the morning came with a new day of whatever bullshit that it always brought. That was enough to be thankful for, grateful for, happy even, if he could manage it. Feel the tender undersides of his forearms against her ribs or back, her hand in his on his stomach or hers. Wake up to her playing with the bones of his wrists, an odd and adorable fixation she’d developed sometime during their good days in Alexandria. 

Always ended with them holding hands, which was worth whatever tickling strokes came before. 

Each swirl of her fingerprints dragging on the skin and causing him to shiver more times than not. Recalling it was enough to make him hug her tighter, shift underneath her, nuzzle her hand like some half-wild animal looking to come in from the cold. Beth murmured inquisitively and he returned it with a matching questioning hum of his own. What did she want from him? What could he give that was acceptable? The him that was from earlier, the one that hadn’t been in the cell and hadn’t seen the polaroid, would have accepted with a shaking surety, that she only aspired to see his happiness and peace of mind. 

But that part of him had been bludgeoned to death with a bat. Didn’t know if it was coming back, or if his current psyche was the one he was stuck with from now until the last fight. So now, as he kissed her palm, slid a hand under her shirt to press them harder together, he fervently needed to know what she wanted. Him to be ok? He’d do his best, might not get there, but he’d try. To forgive her for leaving him? Fuck, he never should have let that thought shoot loose of his head. Hadn’t meant it, or he had, but it wasn’t something he wanted her feeling bad about. 

Did she want something else? 

He’d do whatever it was.

Hadn’t gotten to show her at the stream but he could now.

If she wanted.

Only if she wanted.

_ Please, fuck, let her want it. _

One moment she was all he could feel, not the pain in his spine from the pressure of their combined bodies against the wall, not the stinging knicks along his fingers, or the healing damage throughout the rest of his body. Just her, warm and getting warmer, hands in his hair, chest breathing against his, strong legs encasing his, and that incredible heated center over his cock, which had probably started to harden the instant that first creak sounded from the bottom step. The next moment she was pulling out of his hold, small hands, smaller than his anyway, pushing his arms down and away, one going to land on his erratically moving chest, the one that’d been doing such a good job keeping his inhales coming regularly.

Stopping him from following her off the bed when he tried. 

A sound tore out of him, didn’t even know what to call it if he’d wanted to. Inhuman maybe. Despairing might be another. But he stayed where she halted him, because of course he did, like it was since the beginning. Beth made the rules. Might seem sometimes like it was him, she could think that too for all he knew. That he decided the pace, or the setting, what-the-fuck-ever. He’d made some fucking  _ suggestions _ , some guidelines, to stick to perhaps. But all of them felt like they’d been prefaced with a  _ if it’s ok with you _ or  _ if ya don’t mind, could we _ . 

If she ever pursued something, he’d buckled like an alcoholic being offered a drink. 

He was curled over himself, legs drawing up and dropping within a second, unsure of what her plan was. If there even was one. Gripping the sheets, Daryl stalled out with any of his fidgeting motions the moment her hands gathered up the bottom of her shirt and drew it up the length of her body. Her hair was still down, she’d been working to detangle it since the stream, and it fell long and waving over her shoulders and chest. There was a beauty and sensuality to her that went so much farther than her bared skin - all the creamy and rose tones.

It was more in her eyes, the way she held him still, held him motionless, afraid to move and somehow ruin whatever was on her mind. Even if it was only some light hearted attempt to torture him with the sight of her. It was in her arms, the curve of them as they framed her body, that lithe torso that dipped in the middle with her slight belly button. The shuffle of her legs as her boots were toed off, the flare of her hip when her jeans were wiggled out of. These things that made her real, more than simply the obvious things.

Though,  _ Christ _ , those were fuckin’ great too.

Daryl’s mouth flooded when that thatch of hair appeared, her hand grazing across the area hesitantly, like she was shy about it. His eyes dragged hard and slow up to hers, they were almost too heavy to make the trip. Waited, nowhere near patiently, for her go ahead. To undress, to touch her, to move in whatever way she wanted. For some kind of hint of the game she was playing. Game might be too much, but there was something she was going for. Must be, to stop him like she had, make him watch her.

Everything was uncomfortable in his current state. Shirt felt binding, his pants...shit he couldn’t begin to deal with the discomfort there. The time ticked by, probably not a full minute but it felt like an hour. Her looking down at him, not a stitch on, but her expression one that told him to stay where he was. Part of him wanted to flick a glance at the small window in the door, wondered if someone saw or already had seen her. That disquieting thought got filed away near his straining dick and aching balls. At any goddamn rate, he was unable to pull away from the gaze that held his.

A little bit longer and the shallow pants deepened into something more sustainable. He let cracked lips close over gritting teeth, breathe deep through his nose, loosen a muscle or two to save them all from cramping. Was that it then? Beth tracked each subtle change in him, and Daryl wanted to smack the shit out of himself for how much her focus only served to rile him up more. Was she showing him how far he’d come? Or how not touching her wouldn’t in fact kill him?

Hard to figure, how those ideas made him feel.

Struck him something akin to being trained like a dog -  _ wait for the treat, wait for it.  _

But she wouldn’t do that, not how it formed itself in his skull. Not with the patronizing or dominant tone. No, Beth would want him to know, know that he was strong enough, that he was more than what he might think. Even if it was wishful thinking, or dead wrong no matter how hard he tried to believe her. When it came to his girl, Daryl had to attempt and look at shit from her point of view. Regardless of how screwey it seemed to him.

At last, she raised her chin, giving the go ahead to stand. He rose pretty fluidly, for all he still wasn’t getting any younger and had been relegated to sleeping on a cement or forest floor as of late. Once standing, he held still again, was rewarded with a pleased smile from her before she started undoing his new shirt’s buttons. Able to smell her from the time she stepped through the door, he was met with a headier version, one straight from the source, his face only inches from the top of her head. Had to curl his fingers in and clench, hold back from ruining her improvised mini-exhibition of his willpower.

“It was good of them,” she said all calm, startling him and the heavy quiet. “Get you a’ change of clothes.”

He nodded dumbly at her as the air chilled the damp places of his chest, only barely remembering with a start. “Got some for you too.” His throat chose that moment to run dry, and he coughed through his next sentence. “Even saw, some new hair ties with ‘em.”

Person would have thought he’d professed a sudden ability to produce warm bubble baths and pizza on her command, by the way she beamed up at him when she got the tiny piece of good-ish news.    

She edged heated fingertips inside his shirt once the last button was dealt with, prodding lightly with her pads before the entirety of her palm was added - massaging his aching shoulders - ridding him of the shirt once she’d made it all the way over to his arms. Made it the second time in a day that she’d undressed him. He sure as fuck hoped things ended differently this time around.

“I can take the sleeves off it for ya,” she offered, managing to catch the garment without it landing on the floor. The motion pressing her skin to his, and his next hum was more of a moan. “If you want?”

He shook his head mutely, nudging her slightly in the process, a kind of supplication that went unheeded. Clothing preferences were about the last thing he could bring himself to care about at this particular fucking time. The tremor, for instance, one running through every bone in his goddamn body, threatening to snap him apart and cause him to do the things that had left all those damn bruises on her, that thing was far more prevalent at the moment. 

She tapped his booted feet with her bare ones. Daryl sat, had to in order to reach the laces, but that of course brought him into intimate proximity of her cunt. Could smell that too. Headier by far than the scent he’d been walloped with moments ago. Made him lose all track of what he was doing, fumbled his attempts, drew his attention to something other than his current bidded task. He was going to fucking drool at this point, or drown, tongue moving more than a little desperately around the inside of his mouth. Eager thing rolling through the excess saliva, sending all sorts of remembered sensations down to his dick - which didn’t need the extra stimulation.

That constant loud-as-fuck  _ whooshing  _ sound, was no doubt coming from him, and he had an idea of what the expression on his face must say, when he looked up to catch Beth’s eye and she shook her head. Shook her head, but wobbled slightly, body weaving in towards him like maybe she wasn’t the only one with some kick to her gaze. Daryl renewed his efforts, but kept his sight where it was, struggling and still unable to look away.

_ Need some help? _

He grunted at the message, at her raised brows and twitching lips.

_ You’re gonna. _

He shot back, promised her, as he was finally able to kick off his boots and socks. Standing once more, feeling as though he was looming over her, he waited again. It was entirely possible that she was the smallest, tiniest, fraction too miniscule to see, right, about him being better than he had been. Only if it was only a bit, only if it was fucking awful to test. Might be too, that he liked her exercise, long as it meant he’d get her in the end. Made it so it wasn’t completely unbearable to try.

Beth’s hands docking on the waistband of his pants, and he strove but failed to keep his eyes open. Her knuckles brushed against the sensitive skin of his lower stomach, that so-called control rubberbanned to its breaking point, and Daryl felt his body sway forward. It wasn’t like each muscle was flexed and shivering, but near enough that he knew the next move of hers would send him cascading over the edge.

Over that line between: “Please,” and, “I gotta, girl,” until it would be both of them hanging on for the ride, because stopping, savoring, tenderness, would be all but unreachable. 

“Ok,” she said, hands leaving him but otherwise standing her ground. “Do the rest.”

He scrambled to comply, lips pressing to her hair, the side of her face, letting his pants fall clear only to fist his hands again. Holding as still as he could, besides his pleading little kisses to her jaw, the side of her mouth - like a wolf (or more fuckin’ accurately a mutt) trying to coax its mate. Daryl barely stayed silent when she pushed him softly back onto the bed. Old sheets soft enough underneath him, he resumed his prior spot, back to the wall and legs stretched out straight before him. Cock bobbing and all too ready as he watched her.

Beth studied him for a beat longer, long legs straddling his at last, lighting up his nervous system with each movement that brought her closer. Slow stick of skin and tickling brush of hair, fingers digging into his shoulders to steady herself. His hips moved in stuttering fruitless attempts to deliver some needed contact to his dick, but she didn’t guide him home, didn’t lift up to slide all delicious and dragging down his length. Stopped at his thighs, blues giving him another command without the need for any sort of message.

Wanted to take her time.

He was chock full of different variations of grating noises that vocalized his displeasure at the idea. The needy pain was radiating up his spine as it pressed to the wall, felt like he was gonna set the goddamn thing ablaze behind him. Daryl knew it wasn’t actually blistering hot in the trailer, sun was low and it had been warm as hell, but his body was coated in a level of sweat befitting no less than strenuous physical labor in a Georgian heat wave. Only kicked up another notch too, when Beth brought them flush like they had been earlier, back when there’d been too many clothes. 

Something about wishes and being careful with them flitted through his brain, but then she was rocking against him, belly and mound grinding lightly and unhurriedly against him. There was a serious need for him to retrieve his tongue from the back of his throat before he could make sense of what she’d leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Just wanna feel ya for a’ little bit, is that ok?”

That new impulse of his, to have her shivering and clutching around his dick at all times drove the words from his mouth with no ability for him to get them back.

“Fuck, wanna feel ya too, girl.” He gripped her ass, intensified the pressure until he could feel the wet of her opened lips, hear her hiss as he pushed into her clit just right. “Think we might jus’ be thinkin’ ‘bout it different.”

Beth released a huge breath, reaching down, she towed on his wrists until he had his hands splayed against her ribs and side.

“Can’t ya be soft with me?”

There was an obvious argument against that between her thighs, so he left it alone and tried to stop thinking with only that part of his anatomy.

“Yeah, ‘course I can, Brier.” Had he made her think otherwise, that brutal and desperate was all the kind of love he had left for her? “You hurtin’?”

Without telling himself to, he’d began running his hands over her body. Not in the way he had, to feel and manipulate all she had so that he could feel the reaction. Not checking for life, but for discomfort. Like that first backrub, so long and hardly anytime at all ago. His mind was still very much occupied by their nakedness, by the desire deep in his gut, but he switched facets in his thought process enough to do a quick but thorough rundown of her physique. 

Beth let out a gasp when he dug careful circles into her shoulders, prying at the hardened muscles so that they gave way beneath his touch. Lips against his neck and she adhered herself to his front, teeth nibbling with each knot he found and worked loose. He knew her, the places on her that wound up tight, needed a good hard rub to stop paining her. The back underneath his hands was even more known to him than perhaps her fuckin’ pussy was. Beth Greene was a being to be memorized and served, whatever each piece of her needed, he wanted to give it.

No matter how much he never measured up.

But just like fucking her, this he could do, this tracking of a muscles line until it balled up and pressed back stubbornly beneath his questioning fingers. The careful application of force until she was writhing and moaning without him coming anywhere near her goddamn clit. He’d been able to make his girl cry out for him long before he’d slid his dick in for the first time. And now, he dedicated all his focus to it, mildly awkward from their position, he made it work. Made her whimper and sigh against his throat, had her circling her hips and slicking his cock within minutes.

She wanted to feel him? Wanted him to be gentle this time?

_ L’fuck ya so slow, Brier. Have ya fallin’ asleep again with me still inside. _

“Mmmm, Daryl,” she whimpered, hand curling around the back of his neck and holding tight. “I wanna have nothin’ but this.”

“Just this?” His asked the question lowly, it was followed with his own rotation of hips. Beth sucked in another breath, groaning and dropping her free hand to wrap around his dick. “Could go back to the campsite.”

They couldn’t, not really. Not with Saviors running around and whatever fight that was about to happen creeping up on them. But she was liquid and wanting, and right now they could lie, just a bit. Fantasize that they’d get to be together on some quasi-camping vacation where it was just them, the woods, and an unlimited amount of time. Where sex and snuggling, eating and bathing together was all that could be expected. 

“Sounds like a plan,” she fibbed back to him, using her hold on his neck to yank him back enough to kiss, the  _ clunk  _ of her knuckles against the wall a dull and quickly forgotten sound. “I got the s’mores if you’ll bring the moonshine.”

His lips twitched against hers where she’d left them resting. 

But then he hit a spot that made her hiss and jerk away. It was only an inch and she was settling back onto him within seconds, but Daryl was already moving her hair aside, cradling her jaw carefully, turning her face and pressing down on her shoulder so that he could get a look near the top of her spine. 

Teeth marks.

Two darkened crescents that made him sick and throb all at once.

“It’s alright,” she said, consoling him for fuckin’ mauling her. 

“Ain’t,” he answered, voice thick. “Don’ like bruisin’ ya, ‘bout broke the damn skin.”

“Daryl-”

“M’not like that.” He wasn’t exactly sure who he was trying to convince. “Gettin’ off on fuckin’ ya up like this when we’re-”

Daryl cut off quick, teeth in his tongue, when she somehow managed to get her feet under her enough to lift up, that hand that’d been lazily stroking him, helped to get her sheathed around him in one hard breath. A walker had never groaned as loud as he did then, toes curling and hips jerking to meet her. The slide of her walls, rub of her ass against his thighs, even the sight of the damn tendons standing out in her neck from how he’d held her to see the bruise, made him nearly delirious, all the sensations bombarding him at once. His fingers clenched and released, all but throwing his arms away from her in a bid to stop the probable creation of more marks on her skin. 

“How many,” she began, a low note of pleasure interrupting her, “times, I gotta tell ya? About...blamin’...yourself?” He had a flash of feeling impressed with the strength of her thighs, but then his head was  _ thunking  _ back against the wall, shoulders pushing against the surface to open up the space she was working with. Grunting as she rode him, drinking in the thrill of feeling once more the absolute certainty that he was pleasing her. “What’d, I say? When ya had me bent over that log?”

_ Harder _

_ Harder _

He let out a short harsh noise, eyes opening to watch her, teeth sunk in her lip and lids half closed. The light from the small window casting her in light grey shadow. His gaze pulled towards the door, no one there, no one watching. But fuck, the view they’d get if they did look inside. Dazed, almost feverish, he glanced around, moans and curses seeping out of him at the rhythmic cries coming from her with each rock of her hips. Someone had left a blanket at the foot of the bed, all folded up and pretty. He made a grab for it. Shaking the thing out with a grunt, Daryl draped it over her back, pulling her in close when she murmured in confusion.

Holding her by the thighs, he stopped letting her do all the work, no matter how fucking good it’d felt, her moving on his dick and getting herself off. Using him to chase that orgasm that she for some reason couldn’t achieve with her own fingers. Did his best not to look too long at that, the twisted satisfaction he got from  _ knowing  _ she needed him to get there. That bullshit went right by the part of him that...maybe  _ hadn’t  _ minded being a bit rough with her. 

“Afraid someone’s gonna see?” She was teasing, he could hear it in between the whimpers. 

“There ‘re fuckers, like ta’ peep.” He could still remember the look on her face when that jackass Eugene had been trying to catch them screwing at the gas station. 

She hummed in response, sighing when he leaned forward, pulling her legs around him, cupping her ass with one hand and leveraging the other against the thin mattress. Beth’s arms wrapped around his neck and he thrusted up into her. But slow, softly like she’d wanted, more like a pulsing of his hips than anything, and stuck with it this time, watching the serenity drenched aspect in her face as he did. When her eyes blinked open, his gut clenched as their eyes met, breath dying in his lungs. Saw her brow as in started to furrow, mouth opening, expression turning pained as he slid the hand from her ass to push a thumb against her clit.

“ _ Ungh _ , yes.” Another gasp, a shudder that made him buck into her. “Thank God, your hands.  _ Hmmm  _ oh, Daryl.”

Despite her words he was still mildly surprised, in a distant sort of way, when the first flutter of her cunt against his steadily gliding dick happened. How she tilted her hips to increase the amount of contact on her clit, pressing it between his cock and thumb. Shivering and clenching, the constriction around his waist from her legs becoming close to unbearable. 

It didn’t make sense, how he wasn’t close. Had no clue how that was possible. But it was better this way, could really watch her for the first time in a long time. That face she made, how she went from staring straight at him to clenching her eyes shut. Lost his vantage somewhat, when she went after his mouth like she hadn’t kissed him in decades, demanding and crushing their lips together. Teeth pressing until it hurt and she cried out into his open throat as she came, tongue rolling against his, making him want to mimic her tortured sounds with each pass.

Felt all sorts of new and interesting, feeling her come and not following directly after. Slamming his teeth together until the nerves themselves shot pain into the gums, as her orgasm tried to suck his dick clear free of his body. The seeping liquid, the increased warmth that he was intrigued to be able to feel, considering how fuckin’ hot she already was inside. Through his discomfort, because fuck was he still hard and needing that goddamn release, he loved having her all curled around him. Arms and legs overlapping their partners, her stomach jerking with each aftershock against his. 

His girl recovered relatively quickly when she rocked once and felt him in no way softening within her. She pulled back, sweat dashed skin skating over Daryl’s, making him thrum a rumbling noise when she repeated the action with a shudder. Woman had to be feeling sensitive as fuck, but she did it again and again, eyes meeting his through the matching crazed mess of their hair.

“What’s wrong?” Her question was a hard one for him to understand. The blanket had wound up pooled around their waists and he distractedly yanked it back up around her shoulders. 

_ Wrong? _

Nothing had felt less wrong since their ride to Hilltop, when the only concern he’d had was knocking her up. Now, he was acting like that was the only thing he was after. So maybe that was wrong, after all, he hadn’t came inside her, hadn’t had his own heated gush added to hers. Let it fill her up, keep her cozy and warm. But all in all, that wasn’t terrible, could do it later tonight. Could still do it if she weren’t too tired. Spend whatever time they had, until he was absolutely forced to stop, doing that over and over.

He didn’t want his come to ever stop being inside her, connecting them.

Was that another fucked up thing to think?

He wasn’t sure.

Filed it away.

“Nothin’,” he answered her truthfully, voice gravelly but loose, nevermind his physical state.

“You’re…” It was fuckin’ stupid, how much it made the love he had for her swell, when he saw how worried and maybe even put out she was that he hadn’t gotten off with her. “You didn’t?”

“S’alright,” he murmured, bringing their mouths together, combing back strands that obscured his ability to get to her. “Can stop if ya want.”

This wasn’t the clearing, he wasn’t going to push for anything if she was done.

At some point he’d arrived at more want than need.

Weird.

Beth licked along his teeth, twirled around his tongue, softly sucking until he moaned and retreated enough to catch her bottom lip and do the same.

“Here,” she said quietly, breath hitching as she dismounted. “Lay down.”

The process was a bit of an ordeal, the bed being small and not made for such cumbersome activity, but they got situated and he was left looking up at her. She straddled him but didn’t make a move to ride him again,  _ damn it _ , but the girl clearly had something in mind. His thought was confirmed when she gave him an impish smile, awkwardly wrestling with the blanket as she moved further down his body. The next swallow was a painful one as she nestled her body between his legs, her own limbs hanging clear off the end of the bed, still shielded with their thin covers. 

His eyes felt hot as he watched her. While she stroked careful fingers up his hardened length, breath shaky when she apparently saw her slick coating him down to the root. It was quite the sight he had to admit, the droplet and streaked moisture that spoke of a job well done. But the picture of her next to it, of her throat working and the quick dart of red as she licked her lips, that was almost too much.

She met his gaze, flicking a glance over her shoulder to the door and back to him.

“Hope you’re covered to your liking,” another wicked little smile, “because I’m not lookin’ ta’ suffocate while I do this.”

Daryl could barely grunt in response. He no longer gave a single solitary fuck who saw him, long as no one caught an eyeful of her that they didn’t deserve. 

“I mean,” she continued, licking up the side of his cock and making him choke. “I guess I  _ could  _ hide some more under the blanket, if you’re that worried ‘bout someone seein’ your belly.”

He was snorting before she raised a hand and tickled along that particular section of his giving flesh, and Beth smiled with the head of him almost touching her lips. Daryl stared back at her, knowing why she’d stopped, why the flush in her cheeks was no longer simply arousal. That noise had to be the happiest sounding thing he’d made since they’d been reunited. Only a day or so, and she was already getting him a hair’s breadth away from laughter.

His lips twitched up and stayed that way for a moment, until she opened her mouth and sunk down to where he could feel himself crowding the back of her throat. Spine tightening almost immediately, he groaned appreciatively, hands going to her hair and ignoring the protest of his abdominal muscles while he held himself up to watch her. Lips stretched around him, she hummed, he could only guess at his taste - their taste - while she began corkscrewing her tongue against him. Shit, she’d gotten so good at this, at flicking that beautiful little tip of hers back and forth at the base of his cockhead, alternating those moves with the bobbing of her head.

Swallowing him deep before going back to the head.

Fuckin’ Eric and his blabbermouth, had made his woman even harder to deny than she already had been. Daryl would have to find a non-obvious way of thanking that sweet bastard when he got back to Alexandria.

His gaze got pulled from her up to the window. Still no one there, no one watching. But if there had been, if they’d seen. The smallest wash of excitement trickled through him as Beth picked up her pace and moved to cradle his balls, rolling them lightly and cupping them when he let out a strangled sound. If someone had looked in here - his mind bridged out until it was like he was watching them from the window himself. Him half-raised, arms flexing and hands buried in her hair, that bright hair that was spread across her shoulders and his hips. Daryl could hardly imagine the expression twisting his features, probably looked pain soaked, but he felt so fuckin’ good.

And her?

They’d only see her steadily moving head, the outline of her body below the blanket, crossed calves that pressed together as she clenched her legs together, maybe seeking another orgasm -

As he always did, Daryl tried to pull her from him when he was about to get off, still didn’t want to assume that sucking down his come was something that she would want. And as she always did, Beth clawed her way into his hips, sucking hard in retaliation at his his attempt to move her away. Which had never, ever, failed to get him off hard enough to yell. Beth drank him down, removing her nails from his skin one finger at a time, allowing one arm to stroke up his stomach to his chest, the side of her thumb grazing a nipple. 

Daryl fell back onto the pillow, abs throbbing right along with his dick. Breathing unsteadily, he caught her lazily moving hand that was sending shocks and sparks through his overstimulated system. Didn’t know if it was intentional or not, way she rolled him around her tongue until he whined low his throat. Kind of thought it was, when she opened her mouth to let him go, only to catch him with her hand and kiss along the twitching skin. 

He tugged at her, begging silently for her to come and snuggle him, to hold him together while his body wound down. Thankfully she complied, crawling up his frame and changing her attentions to his throat, which he offered her without hesitation, welcoming the soothing connections of their skin as he banded her to his side. 

“Feel better?”

His answering hum made her breathe a laugh against his jaw, where she’d migrated to.

“Forgive me?”

Daryl made a waffling noise, raising his hand some to tip it back and forth, like he wasn’t sure.

“Ya gonna be ready to do it again soon?”

The shiver about bowed his spine off the mattress when she danced fleeting fingertips along his hip bones and thighs. Beth was nipping at his neck, those taunting pads moving up to tickle his stomach like they had before she’d slid him into her mouth. It was the closest he’d felt to tranquil in a long time. Shoved his hand into her hair and towed her up to his lips, cradling the back of her skull, and taking his time with each searching and diving pass. 

“Jus’ give me a minute,” he promised, praying his body didn’t make a liar out of him. “Was it alright?” Had to clear his throat to get out the next piece. “I careful enough with ya?”

She grinned one-sidedly at him, he got a brief flash of her bunching cheek. “You were  _ perfect _ .”

Daryl fought the urge to sidle out of her hold, a sudden uncomfortable wave rippling through him at the praise, but it wasn’t too hard of a thing to fight back.

He wanted to hear it too much.

Believe it.

“Can we, uh.” Her embarrassed tone made him crane back to get a good look at her. “ _ Not _ do it careful next time?”

He swore to God his dick growled at him in agitation. Didn’t know what the hell it wanted from him. Fuckin’ thing couldn’t seem to make up its mind whether it liked the amount of attention it was getting or not. Daryl rolled them over, liking the stretch and ache that warbled around his limbs. He was almost smiling again when he gazed down at her flushed cheeks. Listened as the babbling thing in his head that kept trying to tell him it was all a dream, seemed to shut the fuck up and watch her as avidly as he was.

It was better now.

“Can do it however ya want, Brier.”

She smiled widely at him, keeping their bodies pressed in tight. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, landing light pecks on her lips, cheek, nose, forehead.

It was better now.

At least for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that was alright, let me know one way or another, if you get a sec. I'll get back to this as soon as I can.


End file.
